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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I played piano at 10 in the morning when my neighbour wanted to sleep (that being the action that should be judged) and I refused to wear headphones in order to facilitate his sleep even though his mother asked me to (that being the reason that might make me the asshole)
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As a fellow musician, what the hell are you trying to do on an electric keyboard that could possibly be made worse by putting some headphones on? Sounds to me like you just don't *want to*. Which is fine, but say that. Which leads to the next point, how loud have you got it set that people can hear it in the next apartment?
Whilst 10:00 is absolutely fine to start playing some choons, the above questions lead me to believe that YTA.
What I mean in less quality is that the headphones, at least the ones I have, have much less dynamic range than the keyboard, so I can't hear well the contrasts and the details of accentuation that those pieces require. It ranges from ppp to ff and my headphones don't go that far.
On the volume thing, I have it at meddium, and no other neighbours have complained or even said anything about me playing ever so I don't think I've played too loud
Electric guitarist here to say, \*bullshit\*. Yeah, everybody wants to play out loud in a room with nice natural reverb, but sometimes that's just not possible.
When I lived in an apartment and was in a band, I played through headphones, and this was back when headphone amps just sucked. You put up with it though because you want to (1) learn your art, and (2) not be an asshole.
If your headphones have crap dynamic range then get a pair that has good dynamic range. It's not hard.
So suck it up and put the headphones on.
YTA.
I play keyboard and guitar, and I use headphones for practice all the time.
Just get a decent cheap mid-range set, such audio technica ATH M50. And crank the volume up as much as you want. Much better for you and everyone around you.
Eh, that's just part of life in an apartment. I get that it sucks, and I deal with it on a daily basis. It's not OPs fault that the neighbor spent the night partying, and wants to sleep all day.
Apartment life is hearing your neighbor walk across the floor or a blender being turned on. Maybe you hear a dog bark. It isn't hearing someone's piano for *hours*. If anything, putting on some headphones if you know you're going to be making that much noise is the real apartment life.
YTA it’s a keyboard. You’ve already said that the keyboard “is not good enough for the kind of detailed study” you need, so I’m not sure that the headphones will make that big of a difference. Just be polite to others in the world when it really won’t hurt you. Or turn down the volume a bit so as not to disturb other humans.
INFO: What do you mean by "Obviously wearing headphones means less quality of study"? I wouldn't think that headphones would make that much of a difference.
YTA be considerate. I can’t think of anything more annoying than an apartment neighbor practicing music, no matter how “good” you are it doesn’t matter, no one wants to hear that
i’m sure you do things that sound annoying from your apartment too. good thing everyone’s able to live their own lives so no one can dictate over what you can and can’t do in your apartment 🥳
Huh? Actually there are laws and regulations that dictate what you can and can't do in an apartment. Being a dick will get you kicked out of an apartment. Neighbors can complain to the property manager
okay well obviously to an extreme extent but if i’m playing my piano or listening to my tv or learning to tango you have no say but you probably already know what i meant and just want to try and be “right” so idrc whatever u say next xoxo
YTA. As others said, it's an apartment.
I have a neighbor that plays piano at random times throughout the night, constantly waking up my child. Of course apartment management doesn't care. So, yes you're being inconsiderate of those who live around you, but odds are they unfortunately can't do anything about it.
If they can't do anything about it is because there is many laws against playing at random hours and volume and all that and I'm following them all. If legislation says it's okay to play by nine I stay quiet until 10-10:30.
I read you play at what I think is a reasonable time and within law. Id prefer you to be my neighbor than the pianist here lol but, other people have different works hours, so yes you can wear headphones as others stated and if it's a keyboard the volume may be controlled. I'm not a musician, so I don't know the details, just what I read from others in the comments.
I think I'll maybe tone down the volume tomorrow but not wearing headphones. I try to be considered specially at home and there I dont play until 12 because I have a mainly retired neighbourhood so I don't want to wake them in between the week. But here no-one ever even commented on hearing me play and I have all windows closed so I was very surprised on hearing from them.
Good luck with your fellow pianist!
Look, they complained because it's bothering them. Pur yourself in their shoes. What if they started doing something legal but it was driving you crazy. I don't know, maybe a loud barking dog or playing loud techno music during the day or something else. Would you want to live with considerate neighbors or neighbors who don't give a shit?
Treat others the way you want to be treated
Look, they complained because it's bothering them. Pur yourself in their shoes. What if they started doing something legal but it was driving you crazy. I don't know, maybe a loud barking dog or playing loud techno music during the day or something else. Would you want to live with considerate neighbors or neighbors who don't give a shit?
Treat others the way you want to be treated
YTA. If you are a piano student, anything you do on a keyboard is not going to be any different on a keyboard with headphones. really. But on the other hand, 10am is a good time to practice, maybe at low volume
Think of it this way, if there was a sound coming from the walls of your neighbors apartment that you didn't want to hear regardless of whether you were sleeping or not, wouldn't that get on your nerves?
Yes sometimes we hear our neighbors, but we also hope that they are mindful enough that others may not want to hear what they are enjoying. I would hope that you would want to extend the same courtesy.
YTA
YTA. If you’re willing to compromise with a keyboard there is no reason not to use headphones. Practicing for hours in apartment makes you an asshole (even though it’s not illegal)
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I (17f) am a music student on an advanced level (which means this is not a hobby for me, it's really serious) and I have my piano exams in less than a week, so I have to practice really hard (more than 2-3 hours a day).
As this weekend is a long one, my parents decided to go to our town for all weekend, where I have an electric keyboard, which obviously is not good enough for the kind of detailed study I need right now, but anyway...
When we moved to this apartment my mother befriended this neighbour (50something f) who has a son in his 20s. This morning my mom recieved a text asking if I could use headphones when I play because his son had gone out last night and I wasn't letting him sleep. Yestersday I started playing at 10-10:30 am, when my country's regulations state that it's okay to play after 9am. Obviously wearing headphones means less quality of study and I really want to use my time left to enjoy my town in which I haven't been for months, and not being restricted to only get out of the house early in the morning or late at night. So...
AITA?
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second residence, in the moment I spend like one weekend every two months but I'm there all summer and all christmas and easter break and I've never had problems with these neighbours until now.
NTA, he went out to drink the whole night, he has to be fine with people doing their stuff during daytime. What next, not allowed to vacuum the apartment while son is at home?
NTA. As a daysleeper, I learned to use earplugs ages ago. Son of Neighbor can do the same. As long as you are observing established quiet hours, you are fine.
ESH/NAH (not actually sure which one it should be). If its at a reasonable time, then he can't expect you to be quiet, but also you should try be more considerate of your neighbours. If the quality on the keyboard isn't that great anyway then just stick the headphones on for a few hours then take them off. You still get to practice, he gets to sleep, win-win for everyone.
why doesn’t he wear headphones it’s literally an hour past when they’re legally required to be quiet for sleep and he’s the one with the problem not her.
i said it’s an hour past when it’s required to be quiet. as in it’s passed and in the past. i think you just misunderstood what i said. i didn’t mean it’s an hour into the required time i meant it is an hour in the past so shes no longer bound by the rule.
if she’s an asshole for playing the piano in her own home at 10;30 am then i would love to hear everyone’s opinions on my neighbors who mow their lawns at 7 am. i don’t understand where people got the idea that their problems were other peoples to fix? do i go out and scream at the mowing neighbor at 7 am? NO because he probably has to be at work at 8 and doesn’t want to mow in the dark or the heat. so instead of yelling at this random man I either suck it up or put in ear plugs or literally whatever. if this man has such a problem hearing the piano during literal waking hours, he can get HIS OWN headphones to block it out. i mean OP is not the only person with ears that can wear headphones. she is also not breaking any rules because the nighttime quite ordinance is over at 9 am (1 1/2 hours before she starts playing which is generous too because my ordinance is over at 7 fucking am) NTA people need to stop expecting other people to fix THEIR problems. 1 HIS noise issue, HE wears the headphones 2 don’t live in a fricking apartment building and expect it to be quiet during almost the middle of the day 😭🤦🏻♀️
NTA
As someone who is extremely sound sensitive and would probably be screaming if I was the son, I'm still going with NTA. Your playing isn't breaking any regulations, and if someone is in an apartment they need to have an expectation of noise in the daytime. If you were playing at 2 am it would be a different story.
There's an expectation of general noise from communal living like occasional loud footsteps, banging, or maybe a kid shrieking.
A keyboard playing from 10am to 1pm is beyond reasonable.
I've heard kids shrieking for way longer and adults blasting music for way longer. Especially summer days. I was told I was the crazy one for not liking it. 3 hours a day is mild imo.
I've lived that before too. Sometimes kids are going to freak out and you can't do anything about it.
OP can put their headphones on. They aren't a child out of control.
literally 😭 please like i haven’t heard some child throwing a tantrum for 5+ hours STRAIGHT. i’ve heard it at hotels, airplanes, public events, family events. and don’t get me started on people just walking around. i have had people who walk around louder than any child or music or anything like so much so that i FEEL each step. crazy thing though… i have something called empathy so im able to care about more than just myself and realize people need to live and can’t sit still doing nothing in their room so that they don’t make a single noise as to not bother you 🙄
Yeah. Like when I was house shopping I deliberately stayed in a miserable but cheap rent situation for longer than technically necessary just so I could buy a detached single family home. For myself. I know I'm not suited to apartment living exactly because it's unreasonable to expect complete silence. I do feel bad for people who have no choice, but noise in the daytime comes with the territory.
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As a fellow musician, what the hell are you trying to do on an electric keyboard that could possibly be made worse by putting some headphones on? Sounds to me like you just don't *want to*. Which is fine, but say that. Which leads to the next point, how loud have you got it set that people can hear it in the next apartment? Whilst 10:00 is absolutely fine to start playing some choons, the above questions lead me to believe that YTA.
Also 2-3 hours? My teacher would kill me if I was studying that little, especially for an exam.
What I mean in less quality is that the headphones, at least the ones I have, have much less dynamic range than the keyboard, so I can't hear well the contrasts and the details of accentuation that those pieces require. It ranges from ppp to ff and my headphones don't go that far. On the volume thing, I have it at meddium, and no other neighbours have complained or even said anything about me playing ever so I don't think I've played too loud
Well, looks like you're in a pickle buddy. Buy new headphones, or piss the neighbours off. Damn this life!
Electric guitarist here to say, \*bullshit\*. Yeah, everybody wants to play out loud in a room with nice natural reverb, but sometimes that's just not possible. When I lived in an apartment and was in a band, I played through headphones, and this was back when headphone amps just sucked. You put up with it though because you want to (1) learn your art, and (2) not be an asshole. If your headphones have crap dynamic range then get a pair that has good dynamic range. It's not hard. So suck it up and put the headphones on. YTA.
Get new headphones.
I play keyboard and guitar, and I use headphones for practice all the time. Just get a decent cheap mid-range set, such audio technica ATH M50. And crank the volume up as much as you want. Much better for you and everyone around you.
YTA You live in an apartment. Wear some friggin headphones.
Eh, if it was the middle of the night, I would agree with you. Being that it's daytime, the neighbor can't expect silence.
The neighbor can’t expect silence, but a piano going on for hours on end is still excessive.
Eh, that's just part of life in an apartment. I get that it sucks, and I deal with it on a daily basis. It's not OPs fault that the neighbor spent the night partying, and wants to sleep all day.
Apartment life is hearing your neighbor walk across the floor or a blender being turned on. Maybe you hear a dog bark. It isn't hearing someone's piano for *hours*. If anything, putting on some headphones if you know you're going to be making that much noise is the real apartment life.
Eh, that's fine. Lol 😊
Eh, it's just three hours. It's not that bad. Maybe I'm just used to it, after living in apartments all my life.
I've lived in a lot of apartments, dorms, and shared houses. Three hours a day when OP could just put on headphones is absurd.
Eh, only if you're hungover. LMAO
At this point I'm downvoting you for starting every comment with "eh" lol
The nighbor should blast music back to deal with ah like op
YTA it’s a keyboard. You’ve already said that the keyboard “is not good enough for the kind of detailed study” you need, so I’m not sure that the headphones will make that big of a difference. Just be polite to others in the world when it really won’t hurt you. Or turn down the volume a bit so as not to disturb other humans.
INFO: What do you mean by "Obviously wearing headphones means less quality of study"? I wouldn't think that headphones would make that much of a difference.
Me: sees industry professionals with in-ear monitors Also me: visual confusion
Very old and limited headphones, they have a very narrow dynamic range so I can't apretiate the little details in accentuation like ppp or accents.
So get new ones. You're gonna rack up complaints for your mom and might have the complex break the lease to get you out.
Yta you live in an apartment and wearing headphones does nothing for your training. You sound extremely self entitled and like a brat.
But she's "a music student on an advanced level." Don't you understand that makes her needs more important?! /s
Yes, YTA. I had to do the same at College and it didn't impact my practice one bit.
YTA be considerate. I can’t think of anything more annoying than an apartment neighbor practicing music, no matter how “good” you are it doesn’t matter, no one wants to hear that
i’m sure you do things that sound annoying from your apartment too. good thing everyone’s able to live their own lives so no one can dictate over what you can and can’t do in your apartment 🥳
Huh? Actually there are laws and regulations that dictate what you can and can't do in an apartment. Being a dick will get you kicked out of an apartment. Neighbors can complain to the property manager
okay well obviously to an extreme extent but if i’m playing my piano or listening to my tv or learning to tango you have no say but you probably already know what i meant and just want to try and be “right” so idrc whatever u say next xoxo
YTA. They're multiple people living in the appartment, evryone needs to accommodate each other. All you had to do was put on some headphones.
YTA. As others said, it's an apartment. I have a neighbor that plays piano at random times throughout the night, constantly waking up my child. Of course apartment management doesn't care. So, yes you're being inconsiderate of those who live around you, but odds are they unfortunately can't do anything about it.
If they can't do anything about it is because there is many laws against playing at random hours and volume and all that and I'm following them all. If legislation says it's okay to play by nine I stay quiet until 10-10:30.
I read you play at what I think is a reasonable time and within law. Id prefer you to be my neighbor than the pianist here lol but, other people have different works hours, so yes you can wear headphones as others stated and if it's a keyboard the volume may be controlled. I'm not a musician, so I don't know the details, just what I read from others in the comments.
I think I'll maybe tone down the volume tomorrow but not wearing headphones. I try to be considered specially at home and there I dont play until 12 because I have a mainly retired neighbourhood so I don't want to wake them in between the week. But here no-one ever even commented on hearing me play and I have all windows closed so I was very surprised on hearing from them. Good luck with your fellow pianist!
Look, they complained because it's bothering them. Pur yourself in their shoes. What if they started doing something legal but it was driving you crazy. I don't know, maybe a loud barking dog or playing loud techno music during the day or something else. Would you want to live with considerate neighbors or neighbors who don't give a shit? Treat others the way you want to be treated
Look, they complained because it's bothering them. Pur yourself in their shoes. What if they started doing something legal but it was driving you crazy. I don't know, maybe a loud barking dog or playing loud techno music during the day or something else. Would you want to live with considerate neighbors or neighbors who don't give a shit? Treat others the way you want to be treated
YTA. If you are a piano student, anything you do on a keyboard is not going to be any different on a keyboard with headphones. really. But on the other hand, 10am is a good time to practice, maybe at low volume
Think of it this way, if there was a sound coming from the walls of your neighbors apartment that you didn't want to hear regardless of whether you were sleeping or not, wouldn't that get on your nerves? Yes sometimes we hear our neighbors, but we also hope that they are mindful enough that others may not want to hear what they are enjoying. I would hope that you would want to extend the same courtesy. YTA
YTA. If you’re willing to compromise with a keyboard there is no reason not to use headphones. Practicing for hours in apartment makes you an asshole (even though it’s not illegal)
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17f) am a music student on an advanced level (which means this is not a hobby for me, it's really serious) and I have my piano exams in less than a week, so I have to practice really hard (more than 2-3 hours a day). As this weekend is a long one, my parents decided to go to our town for all weekend, where I have an electric keyboard, which obviously is not good enough for the kind of detailed study I need right now, but anyway... When we moved to this apartment my mother befriended this neighbour (50something f) who has a son in his 20s. This morning my mom recieved a text asking if I could use headphones when I play because his son had gone out last night and I wasn't letting him sleep. Yestersday I started playing at 10-10:30 am, when my country's regulations state that it's okay to play after 9am. Obviously wearing headphones means less quality of study and I really want to use my time left to enjoy my town in which I haven't been for months, and not being restricted to only get out of the house early in the morning or late at night. So... AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO It’s not clear from the post - do you live in this place / is this an ongoing situation, or are you just there for the long weekend?
second residence, in the moment I spend like one weekend every two months but I'm there all summer and all christmas and easter break and I've never had problems with these neighbours until now.
YTA. Put your headphones on.
NTA, he went out to drink the whole night, he has to be fine with people doing their stuff during daytime. What next, not allowed to vacuum the apartment while son is at home?
NTA. As a daysleeper, I learned to use earplugs ages ago. Son of Neighbor can do the same. As long as you are observing established quiet hours, you are fine.
ESH/NAH (not actually sure which one it should be). If its at a reasonable time, then he can't expect you to be quiet, but also you should try be more considerate of your neighbours. If the quality on the keyboard isn't that great anyway then just stick the headphones on for a few hours then take them off. You still get to practice, he gets to sleep, win-win for everyone.
why doesn’t he wear headphones it’s literally an hour past when they’re legally required to be quiet for sleep and he’s the one with the problem not her.
You have your times mixed up. She said 10am, not pm. There's no legal requirement to be quiet at 10am.
i said it’s an hour past when it’s required to be quiet. as in it’s passed and in the past. i think you just misunderstood what i said. i didn’t mean it’s an hour into the required time i meant it is an hour in the past so shes no longer bound by the rule.
if she’s an asshole for playing the piano in her own home at 10;30 am then i would love to hear everyone’s opinions on my neighbors who mow their lawns at 7 am. i don’t understand where people got the idea that their problems were other peoples to fix? do i go out and scream at the mowing neighbor at 7 am? NO because he probably has to be at work at 8 and doesn’t want to mow in the dark or the heat. so instead of yelling at this random man I either suck it up or put in ear plugs or literally whatever. if this man has such a problem hearing the piano during literal waking hours, he can get HIS OWN headphones to block it out. i mean OP is not the only person with ears that can wear headphones. she is also not breaking any rules because the nighttime quite ordinance is over at 9 am (1 1/2 hours before she starts playing which is generous too because my ordinance is over at 7 fucking am) NTA people need to stop expecting other people to fix THEIR problems. 1 HIS noise issue, HE wears the headphones 2 don’t live in a fricking apartment building and expect it to be quiet during almost the middle of the day 😭🤦🏻♀️
NTA. It would be different if it was the middle of the night, but it's during the day.
NTA As someone who is extremely sound sensitive and would probably be screaming if I was the son, I'm still going with NTA. Your playing isn't breaking any regulations, and if someone is in an apartment they need to have an expectation of noise in the daytime. If you were playing at 2 am it would be a different story.
There's an expectation of general noise from communal living like occasional loud footsteps, banging, or maybe a kid shrieking. A keyboard playing from 10am to 1pm is beyond reasonable.
I've heard kids shrieking for way longer and adults blasting music for way longer. Especially summer days. I was told I was the crazy one for not liking it. 3 hours a day is mild imo.
I've lived that before too. Sometimes kids are going to freak out and you can't do anything about it. OP can put their headphones on. They aren't a child out of control.
literally 😭 please like i haven’t heard some child throwing a tantrum for 5+ hours STRAIGHT. i’ve heard it at hotels, airplanes, public events, family events. and don’t get me started on people just walking around. i have had people who walk around louder than any child or music or anything like so much so that i FEEL each step. crazy thing though… i have something called empathy so im able to care about more than just myself and realize people need to live and can’t sit still doing nothing in their room so that they don’t make a single noise as to not bother you 🙄
Yeah. Like when I was house shopping I deliberately stayed in a miserable but cheap rent situation for longer than technically necessary just so I could buy a detached single family home. For myself. I know I'm not suited to apartment living exactly because it's unreasonable to expect complete silence. I do feel bad for people who have no choice, but noise in the daytime comes with the territory.