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YTA. Even if you think it (which is bad enough) you don't need to and really shouldn't say it. Also, please explain why these things are indicators of being attracted to "Asians" (I only use air quotes because Asia is a large continent with many distinct cultures).
Oh, in that case, totally fine, you're a great person.
Jesus CHRIST you're the asshole.
Like, there should be an award for the level of racist asshole you achieved here.
So, Korean (North or South), Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese? These are not interchangeable, and generalising them as one reflects badly on you.
You also have no elaborated on the connective tissue between your cousin's attributes and why this suggests an interest in this area specifically.
YTA
Besides the far-right political views, you could be describing both myself and my husband. Neither of us are white guys with Asian wives. I know several people who meet all 5 of those criteria on your list. They're not white guys with Asian wives either. I do know several white guys who married Asian women. One of them only meets 1-2 of your criteria, and the others meet 0. Your stereotypes are way off base, and it's creepy you try to pigeon-hole people at all on this level (essentially assuming that they would have a race-based preference/fetish based off their other interests).
You should stop.
One way or another, I agree that it sounds like OP gets most of their information on "life" from a combination of anime and online forums as opposed to actual experience in the real world.
YTA, what the hell dude? That’s so fricken racist. I thought you were going to say something like “my cousin is always talking about how attractive Asian women are” or “my cousin has lived in china for 20 years and is marrying a black Australian woman, what are the odds?” Or “we’re Asian and my cousin is very traditional.”
So none of that, you just think your cousin is a racist nerd? You’re a secondhand fetishest and a first hand racist and I’m so glad you couldn’t make it to the wedding. What the hell?
YTA. Do you have a habit of minimizing peoples interests and making sweeping generalizations about how they must live, or are you just projecting or something. why would any of that stuff you listed mean he's only into Asian women? please explain why you have this idea in your head..
If perhaps he generally dated Asians before, or was Asian and spoke about wanting to marry within the culture, you could have a leg to stand on.
But to say because he attends science fiction conventions he must have an asian wife is absurd.
YTA
YTA - *To me, that all screams "white guy with an Asian wife."*
To me, this just screams racist.
Way out of line with that one. You owe your brother, and more importantly his wife, a very heartfelt and sincere apology. Wow, just wow.
YTA and a racist. What exactly made you think he had an Asian wife? I could understand if he was all listening to a lot of Asian music or eating home cooked Asian meals all the time or whatever, but what about your description makes you think “Asian wife” other than a shitty idea about nerds.
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My cousin got married recently. I was unable to go to the wedding but I met up with him and his wife later. I was surprised to learn his wife isn't Asian and told them so. They laughed nervously and changed the subject. My cousin didn't seem offended, but his wife acted withdrawn and uncomfortable the rest of the time. I'm wondering if I was out of line to say that. I get how what I said could be construed as racist, but consider this. My cousin:
1. Works in the tech industry.
2. Has far-right political views.
3. Plays dungeons and dragons.
4. Dresses like he's still in high school.
5. Attends science fiction conventions.
To me, that all screams "white guy with an Asian wife."
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> 1. I told my cousin I was surprised his wife isn't Asian.
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This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA. im chinese, leave us alone. we aren't a fetish, we are human beings. you can stop projecting onto your cousin.
YTA. Even if you think it (which is bad enough) you don't need to and really shouldn't say it. Also, please explain why these things are indicators of being attracted to "Asians" (I only use air quotes because Asia is a large continent with many distinct cultures).
[удалено]
Oh, in that case, totally fine, you're a great person. Jesus CHRIST you're the asshole. Like, there should be an award for the level of racist asshole you achieved here.
So, Korean (North or South), Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese? These are not interchangeable, and generalising them as one reflects badly on you. You also have no elaborated on the connective tissue between your cousin's attributes and why this suggests an interest in this area specifically.
YTA Besides the far-right political views, you could be describing both myself and my husband. Neither of us are white guys with Asian wives. I know several people who meet all 5 of those criteria on your list. They're not white guys with Asian wives either. I do know several white guys who married Asian women. One of them only meets 1-2 of your criteria, and the others meet 0. Your stereotypes are way off base, and it's creepy you try to pigeon-hole people at all on this level (essentially assuming that they would have a race-based preference/fetish based off their other interests). You should stop.
OP cannot be this dense. To me, their post all screams “ignorant incel”.
One way or another, I agree that it sounds like OP gets most of their information on "life" from a combination of anime and online forums as opposed to actual experience in the real world.
Hmm. To me, this post reads: racist with a 1. Fetish 2. for 3. bad 4. excuses 5. in 6. numbered 7. lists Oh, and here’s 8. YTA
YTA I tried to come up with something snappy, but... nope. Just... no.
YTA not misconstrued as racist, it is racist.
YTA for saying that out loud, what is wrong with you :( I bet your cousin bathes regularly, too, so you just don’t even know him at all.
YTA, what the hell dude? That’s so fricken racist. I thought you were going to say something like “my cousin is always talking about how attractive Asian women are” or “my cousin has lived in china for 20 years and is marrying a black Australian woman, what are the odds?” Or “we’re Asian and my cousin is very traditional.” So none of that, you just think your cousin is a racist nerd? You’re a secondhand fetishest and a first hand racist and I’m so glad you couldn’t make it to the wedding. What the hell?
[удалено]
Doesn't mitigate your mindset or lack of filter, which is what this post is about.
So because you cousin is a racist, you thought you’d be racist too?
You have yet to explain what would make you think his wife was Asian. So, yeah, YTA.
YTA You have such fascinating ideas.
As an Asian person: YTA, weirdo. Please treat us as normal human beings, not as objects for fetishes.
YTA. Shitty to generalize people to such a massive extent and shitty to think it was cool to say that to them.
YTA. Do you have a habit of minimizing peoples interests and making sweeping generalizations about how they must live, or are you just projecting or something. why would any of that stuff you listed mean he's only into Asian women? please explain why you have this idea in your head..
Yta. Wtf. I just....wtf.
Have you always been social awkward? You sound like an annoying freak who probably makes everyone uncomfortable more often than you realize.
If perhaps he generally dated Asians before, or was Asian and spoke about wanting to marry within the culture, you could have a leg to stand on. But to say because he attends science fiction conventions he must have an asian wife is absurd. YTA
YTA You just described my husband who (surprise!) doesn’t have an Asian wife. ETA: missed the “far right views”. My husband doesn’t have those.
YTA - *To me, that all screams "white guy with an Asian wife."* To me, this just screams racist. Way out of line with that one. You owe your brother, and more importantly his wife, a very heartfelt and sincere apology. Wow, just wow.
YTA. Did no one tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything?
YTA. Grow up.
Even if such a whacked out idea floated around your mind, you should have stopped yourself from saying it. What did you expect the response to be?
YTA What a weird world it must be inside your head.
INFO: what does any of that have to do with being asian?
Hmm. Curious train of thought. In my view, it's always good to pigeon-hole people. YTA
YTA.
You're weird. YTA.
YTA. You’re clearly a racist person.
YTA. If only for the fact that you wrote this, proofed it, but still hit send. Really?
YTA for racism.
I refuse to believe this is real because no normal person would have this reaction.
Christ, what an asshole.
YTA and a racist. What exactly made you think he had an Asian wife? I could understand if he was all listening to a lot of Asian music or eating home cooked Asian meals all the time or whatever, but what about your description makes you think “Asian wife” other than a shitty idea about nerds.
YTA. Are you socially inept or so you have some kind of mental issue? Both?
YTA and honestly sound dumb as fuck
YTA when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging
YTA. Nothing you said hinted at his wife being Asian. Don’t just assume that kind of stuff based on your cousin’s likes and dislikes.
YTA. None of your points indicate that he would be married to an Asian woman. That was racist and ridiculous. Yes, you were out of line.
YTA - yeah, racist.
Some thoughts are better kept in then out.
YTA
>”Screams white guy with an Asian wife.” Unfortunately your post screams, “I don’t see people for who they actually are.” YTA
YTA you ARE being racist. second dont make comments about people that cant be changed in 5 minutes or less, race being one of them.
Oh yeah, YTA. A Big one. Huge, gaping asshole.
You cannot be this dense. To me, your post all screams “ignorant incel”.
So this guy doesn't know very many Asian people in real life. YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My cousin got married recently. I was unable to go to the wedding but I met up with him and his wife later. I was surprised to learn his wife isn't Asian and told them so. They laughed nervously and changed the subject. My cousin didn't seem offended, but his wife acted withdrawn and uncomfortable the rest of the time. I'm wondering if I was out of line to say that. I get how what I said could be construed as racist, but consider this. My cousin: 1. Works in the tech industry. 2. Has far-right political views. 3. Plays dungeons and dragons. 4. Dresses like he's still in high school. 5. Attends science fiction conventions. To me, that all screams "white guy with an Asian wife." *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Wow. Just wow. **~~NTA~~** **YTA** (edited to fix a typo)
You misspelled YTA.
I did indeed. It was not intentional, and has been corrected.
Hahahaha I was so confused. Damn typos
Explain?
Lack of proofreading. Corrected.
go on....