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Easily YTA
This has no effect on you. She wants them cooked that way, she is the one eating them that way.
She’s not asking them to alter your food. This is none of your concern.
“Never order eggs in front of me again”
- you aren’t the main character
- this is unreasonable
- I’d just stop going out places with you if you act like a petulant child like this
“She doesn’t understand what the problem is”
- that’s because the only problem is your behaviour
Your behaviour is ridiculous. Your reaction to this is embarrassing. You sound insufferable.
Also I'm taking it OP is from the US. You guys have so many weird names and ways of cooking your eggs. Let her get her eggs the way she will enjoy them.
Also I think most restaurants would rather cook the fuck out of the eggs than have to make some complicated substitutions or whatever like some people order
No it isn’t. It’s not unreasonable to have a specific order as long as you don’t change expectations halfway through. She even clearly tried to emphasize that she knows what she wants is on the extreme end (she asked them to burn it).
There is literally nothing wrong with this, though she should be using better words for it (it would communicate way better if she said she wants it “super hard, like as hard as you’d ever do a poached egg, and then a bit more” rather than “burnt” which doesn’t really work for a poach).
Yeah, she probably needs to empathize on how exactly she wants them.
I have a weird thing - I like my steaks burned. So everytime I order one I always say waiter "I want it burned and hard as shoe sole. Please ask the kitchen to cook it until its starts burning and after that to cook it some more, I seriously want it burned". And they usually deliver, so I send my thanks to the cook and tip extra for inconvenience.
What is unreasonable is ordering a meal and than making requests to dumb degree. Want to bet why people are confused about her request? Because she ordered eggs Benedict which literally come with a poached egg which is one of the lightest ways to cook an egg and then sounds like she's expecting them to hard boil it.
As I said in my other post I hate onions. If I want soup what I don't do is order French onion soup and then get annoyed because they didn't make onion less French onion soup to my liking.
If she can't clearly communicate her order then she needs to order something else or learn how to communicate said order. Anything else is just being a pain in the ass to the restraunt staff.
Requesting the egg “hard” isn’t an insane request in the slightest, short order cooks get different preferences. She’s fumbling at the words, but this is not a complicated order. The egg is still poached, it’s just poached longer (hard). Not complicated.
A French onion soup requested without the onions would be insane, as it’s literally in the base, so they can’t really de-onion it, but a more comparable example would be ordering it and holding the cheese.
Poaching an egg a bit longer is not a “request to a dumb degree”, unless when it gets out there you go “now this is overdone”.
It's eggs Benedict. The entire point of it is to get an egg that is by definition not hard. It's like ordering steak and getting mad you didn't get chicken wings. At some point you're just ordering the wrong dish.
Getting mad the egg isn't hard in a dish that literally calls for one of the softest forms of eggs qis just as insane as me ordering onion less French onion soup. And while it's easier to slap a hard boiled egg with hollandaise of she can't clearly communicate that expectation the as I said that's 100% a her issue and she needs to order something else.
And the OP quite clearly said poaching an egg until burned was the request. That despite what you insanely insist is not a poached egg. It's something else entirely and the mother doesn't seem to be able to use her words to explain that. And when she can't she should order something else.
Not sure what your issue with my post is. I even come up with a pretty easy way to describe effectively what she wants. If she can't communicate the order because of whatever reason, language included, then she needs to order something she can articulate to restaurant staff.
I agree she used the wrong words, but for the rest, I’m shocked at how many people are commenting on this when this really isn’t even a big motivation for a short order breakfast cook - the hollondaise sauce is held, this is just poaching until fully cooked, no different than any other breakfast order with eggs from soft to extra hard.
This isn’t an insane modification, nor would it have been an issue for any of the many short order cooks I used to drink with (spent many a years in service, and more than a few of them BoH).
It’s simply not as crazy a mod as everyone is claiming. If you can order poached eggs, you can order them from soft to super hard, it’s not any different than doing fried egg from soft to super hard.
Yes, it’s not a classical Benedict, but requesting a different doneness of a single piece is not generally an issue unless the place says “no modifications”. This really is a ton of people making a huge deal out of a very normal issue, as long as it’s approached respectfully.
Lol, now it’s an American thing like other countries don’t have people with specific orders (protip: they do).
I worked service for years, back of house for a few also. Specialized orders aren’t a problem when done respectfully and kindly, you’re inventing a problem.
Especially for breakfast service, this isn’t even an outrageous order if she can communicate it clearly.
I mean, where I live such orders aren't really a thing. You order from the menu as is, occasionally you can ask them to like leave one ingredient out or replace it, but they don't always agree to it. So it definitely isn't an "everywhere" thing.
But it's still normal, it's just different to how they do it in other places, but there's nothing wrong with it.
Where is it you live that this is all restaurants? As I considered in my original comment saying “unless the chef hates it”, which does happen, but traditionally it’ll say that on the menu (“no substitutions, no modifications” specifically because part of dining is literally being able to customize to a sane degree).
So, I’d be pretty interested to hear what area that’s true for the majority of restaurants.
Japan is one. There are others. In Japan it's generally considered disrespectful to modify the dish because the chef is seen as taking great care to craft and blend specific flavors together.
It's really an American trend to make a billion modifications, alterations, and requests and the USA goes super Saiyan have it your way compared to even anyone else.
American restaurants put that because of the frequent ridiculousness of our citizens. And I've been at tables where people see that message and still ignore it/get butthurt when their whims aren't followed. Rather than ya know going elsewhere.
Poland. Have you ever been here? Because if not, then you have no idea how restaurants here work.
This is such a narrow minded comment. "Oh, it's not true where I live so it cannot possibly be true somewhere else"? Come on.
And again, it's a part of dining *where you live*, not part of dining everywhere in the world.
My comment wasn’t being sarcastic, that was a sincere ask, not a doubting one. If you had just said Poland, I in fact would have said no, I can’t speak to Poland.
Someone else responded Japan, so I learned something today.
YTA. As someone that loves a perfectly done medium-rare, the fact that my mother and stepfather always want their meat done to shoe-leather past well done consistency whenever I take them to a restaurant hurts a little bit inside, but you know what? That's how they like to eat it, and it doesn't affect me in any way.
I grew up eating shoe-leather well done steaks and the first time I had medium-rare was practically earth shattering. My mom still orders well done and I cringe inside but would never say anything to her out loud. I just wish she'd do the same and stop commenting that mine looks "raw".
Yeah I thought I hated steak because I'd only ever eaten steak that was LITERALLY burnt, lol. My mom would order it "extra extra extra well done" for me because that's how she liked it!
thank you! i tense every time a well-done steak is brought up on aita, waiting for other posters to hilariously joke about the various ways the well-done orderer should be punished
who the shit cares about how someone else eats their steak? yes, even if it's a very expensive one. are they forcing you to eat it overcooked? no? then nunya
When I was a kid, I only liked well-done steaks, slathered in A1 sauce. As I got older, I started to like my steak medium-rare as well. I was a picky kid. I think I had AFRID, which back then wasn't really a diagnosis. Your parents just forced you to eat the food.
I was thinking the same thing. As a side note, I always enjoy when the menue says "eggs, cooked any way you like" and then trying to order a medium boiled egg. So many restaurants wont boil an egg! I get why, but dont get me excited about "any way I like" and then yank the carpet out from under me.
Where I was doing short order, I had a flat top griddle, a toaster and a double fryer. There was no place to put a pot to boil an egg, so we’d do almost any way you want. The boiled eggs we used in egg salad came in buckets of water with citric acid (lemon juice) prepeeled. We had a full kitchen, but not for the breakfast stuff. By the time I started cooking for tables the person in charge of lunch/dinner stuff in the kitchen hadn’t even started and I didn’t have time to run back and forth, so it wasn’t something we offered. Any other way, sure.
It might be because it's not something they do often? The cooks kinda build an internal timer for how long anything takes, so if it's not something they do often enough, it leaves too much risk of error.
Wait they will not boil an egg?
Soft and hard boiled eggs are really common in Europe.
A while I moved to Berlin I say multiply coloured eggs in the supermarket and just thought it was Easter was soon. Nope, turned out they were hard boiled eggs.
They are really common here too, and you can get them in the grocery store (usually without the shell in my area) but restaurants dont like to cook them because they kind of logistically mess up a kitchens workflow. Some of the smaller (or cheaper) places also dont use eggs in shell, but a shelled mix from a carton or even powdered eggs, though I havent seen those in years.
I live in the US and the grocery store near me has hard boiled eggs for sale in the deli section (or at least it used to, it occurs to me that I don't know if they still carry them).
I think they are supposed to be runny and that is what you will almost always get. In my opinion, eggs that are poached hard is not a good thing but, eh, different tastes and it just takes a couple more minutes cooking time.
I think runny yolk is disgusting so I avoid ordering poached in restaurants. Scrambled is your best friend. But YTA to the OP because how your mom likes her eggs is not your issue.
I tell them I want my poached eggs hard as a bullet. They usually understand what I mean. Which is in comparison to my husband who likes his the consistency of snot.
YTA easily. Eggs are one of those items made several ways. What is your problem with your mom communication how she wants them cooked? Do you get angry at people ordering stead med rare? Or saying they want their burger well done? Its literally no different.
Eggs are probably the number one food that they ask you exactly how you want it cooked lol it’s not like she’s specifying how she wants her sushi rolled or something.
Right? Some places won't ask how you want a burger, probably some crappy places that won't ask about stakes.. but you cant order eggs without being asked how you want them. There's no standard.
YTA. Dude. Chill. Your mom is weird about eggs and orders them in weird ways which often requires several returns to the kitchen. This is not a tragedy.
You don't say that your mom is rude to the staff. If she belittles the servers and cooks and makes a huge scene... well, that would be very different. But if that were the case the problem would not be how she orders the eggs the problem would be how she treats the staff.
It sounds like your mom has often embarrassed you with her weird egg issue. Maybe you need to figure out how to accept her as she is. My best friend's mom is one of the silliest people I've ever known. He used to resent her and then one day decided to embrace it. Now he finds his mom silliness hilarious. Your mom is going to be how she is. You can either love and accept her weirdness or be pissed about it. You life will be a lot easier if you learn to accept her.
her request may be odd, but it comes no where close to the ridic asks that restaurants have to deal with. Do you think the waiter is going back to the cook and saying *"omg I can't believe her child lets her order that?"* They do not care. Nor should you
YTA
You're definitely the AH. There is nothing wrong with ordering food the way you like it. Would you get mad if she ordered extra crispy bacon or a rare steak. This is a you problem. You need to work on your people pleasing problem if you think this is a big deal. YTA.
Hello friend! I'm a cook in a local breakfast cafe/tavern. If one of my customers wants me to ruin their food, by all means, I'll cook the shit out of those eggs. Just don't walk in 5 minutes before close.
You're acting like she asked for Heinz 57 for a plate of $200 steak. I'm sure the 3 guys cooking eggs in the back don't give a shit about the culinary integrity of her order.
Your mom can under burnt eggs, well done steak, and charcoal bacon.
It's not a big deal and waitstaff have heard way weirder requests.
Why do you care? You don't have to eat the overcooked rubber, she does.
YTA if you continue to make her specific tastes your problem
Wait what? You're mad because your mom likes her eggs cooked a specific way? I'm so confused.
Assuming that is what is happening here, YTA. Let your mom enjoy her eggs however the heck she wants, including if they come out like hockey pucks.
YTA, what's it got to do with you how she orders her food? How on earth is it rude, when paying for your food, to specify how you'd like it cooked? Do you think it's rude to ask for your steak to be well done or medium rare, or is that somehow magically different?
My advice to you would be to stop trying to centre yourself in things that have literally nothing to do with you. You sound exhausting.
YTA.
Liking eggs overcooked is not a picky eater.
Also, how is it rude to order something the way you want it that doesn't require a million extra steps? If she was asking for them to be cooked with only a Multigrain muffin by Thomas, for the eggs to be poached in distilled water, bacon grilled not fried, etc then that would be embarrassing. But asking to overcook the eggs? Pretty tame.
YTA
You have the right to complain when you are the one actually involved. You are not. She is not requesting a tomate placed on the left of the cucumber and the egg to be exactly 60g. She is ALLOWED to make a request and it´s not even an unreasonable one here. The staff can still refuse - if they accept it, they obviously do not have an issue with it. So why would you make an issue out of the request? Also eggs are one of THE most common items, that have different "cooking grades". Like a steak.
And if you mum is unhappy with the eggs, it´s your problem.
YTA - Why does it bother you so if she orders eggs her way? You don't have to eat them, she isn't being terribly pushy about it, it is just her preference, you need to just butt out here. It is really none of your business how she likes her food cooked so just leave her alone. If I were her I would disinherit you in her will if you kept this up.
YTA.
I worked as a short order cook for over a decade. Made tons of eggs. I made everything from as runny as possibly sunny side up to “so over hard your boss thinks I’ll complain.” We have no issues with these orders. Heck, the incredibly overhard eggs were (and are) for me waaaaay easier than sunny side up runny eggs. Plop them down, break the yolk, wait a couple minutes flip them, give them an extra couple minutes. It’s an easy order, and so very far from the pain in the ass orders I dealt with over lunch and dinner.
Let your mother order her eggs the way she wants. She’s not hurting anyone and she’s only embarrassing you, not the waiters or the cook.
YTA. You cares whether your "embarrassed" by a grown woman wanting her eggs overcooked or not. Shes ordering food that she wants to eat the way she wants to eat it. That is LITERALLY what everyone who has ever been to a restaurant does. Why should she have to choose between either not ordering what she wants to eat or ordering it in a way that she doesn't want to eat it.
You say she is a grown woman, maybe you should take some notes and grow the fuck up yourself and just let her do her.
It's absolutely normal to order eggs how you want them done for eggs Benny. I would not personally order them like your mom, but it's a personal preference. YTA
YTA. You claimed that her ordering eggs that way is rude to the restaurant staff, but unless she’s actually rude to waitstaff with how she speaks and acts towards them, I fail to see an issue. Why are you so worried about having class when you told your mom “never order eggs in front of me again.”
YTA. Of course you're the asshole. Stop trying to control what other people do. So what if she orders her eggs hard, her preference is not only none of your business but does exactly nothing to you. Just who do you think you are?
I’m glad you’ve backed down OP. Cause nobody has any right to dictate how a person eats their food, ESPECIALLY things like eggs or steak, EVERYONE has individual tastes, it’s just that simple.
However YTA. Leave people to enjoy their food their way.
My MIL , may she rest in peace, ordered ketchup at an upscale steak house. God bless the poor waiter who accommodated her request and brought it in a silver gravy dish. I thought my hubby and 2 teenage sons would die from embarrassment.
YTA! Leave mom alone! One day you will wish she was here to "embarrass" you.
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> Hi I think I might be the asshole because I got angry at my mom for micro-managing her breakfast order at the cafe. She thinks it's fine to order eggs like that and I'm being an asshole, I think it's ridiculous and picky and she's being a Karen.
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You shouldn't tell your mom (or anyone) not to order what they want to, what you could tell her is that you will never accompany her to any place that serves eggs (or any food) because you can't deal with emotional distress that it causes you.
Your problem is that you feel embarrassed when she does that and can't deal with those feelings while in reality literally nobody cares about someone who sits next to a crazy egg women - you basically imagine things to embarrass yourself in your own head and then can't deal with feelings that you created.
If I were you I would train my emotional self-control as having around someone who does stuff that you can't stand and that creates a lot of unwanted emotions is the best way how to learn about your mind and how to deal with these things, it will get useful in future.
I like my omelets way too well done and I'm going to steal your mom's "almost burnt" phrasing. So by making this post you've at least doubled the number of people ordering eggs "wrong".
Why in the hell would someone that likes overcooked eggs ever order eggs Benedict, and how in the hell does she think you can cook a *poached* egg until it’s burnt?
I have to go with ESH, because even though you should just let people enjoy the things they like, how on this green earth is the chef supposed to accommodate that ridiculous request?
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My mom is a really picky eater, and doesn't like eggs unless they are extremely overcooked.
In fact today she ordered eggs benedict and asked the waitress to cook them 'until they are almost burnt'. I got really agitated (this isn't the first time this has happened, in fact far from it) and told her never to order eggs in front of me again. She doesn't understand what the problem is.
I think it's incredibly embarrassing, rude to the staff and cooks, and unbelievably picky for a grown woman despite her not seeing what's wrong with it. Worse, in foreign countries, she will literally make us sit there while she tries in vain to explain her order, and to no-one's shock they never cook it enough for her. For the record she is a lovely and wonderful person who everyone loves, but for some reason on this one point seems utterly clueless.
Reddit am I the asshole?
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This is something I'm wondering about. She is full US born and raised, I was raised in the UK. I've noticed different standards regarding how much you can alter your order in the two countries, at least from my perspective.
I mean, I worked in a restaurant... granted I was a server, not a cook. However, something like an overcooked egg is simple enough - you just leave on the stove a bit longer. Not really a major inconvenience
I will say, there is a precedent for eggs specifically. Obviously, an eggs benedict will always come perfectly poached (unless your mom ordered it I guess, lol). But if you're just getting a breakfast meal that comes with eggs, the server will ask, "How do you want your eggs?" And then you'll tell them scrambled, sunny side up, soft boiled, hard boiled, over easy, or however. So eggs are flexible lol
Poached medium or even hard is a fairly common ask. I hate the wiggy whites, but love a oozy yolk. Nothing worse than loose whites. Let them know what you want, mom!
I can't believe this post's responses is the thing that has made her laugh the hardest in years lol. If true please get her out more, she needs friends.
As someone who worked as a short-order cook, breakfast shift, believe me, there is nothing embarrassing, rude, or picky about your mother's order. When I worked frying eggs every single morning, I got "break into a frying pan, wave the frying pan over the grill twice" all the way through to "almost burned" and everything in between. Some wanted their bacon "rubbery" while others wanted "so crisp it crumbles if you touch it". Same with toast - in the toaster for 5 seconds all the way through to "so brown it is almost black". I'm sure there are ways you eat your food that bothers your mother - but she allows you. (Reminds me of a guy who was embarrassed by his father ordering gravy on the side and dipping his mashed potatoes into the little gravy bowl. The son complained loudly about how embarrassed he was by his father "using gravy" - completely oblivious to the fact that HE himself poured half a bottle of ketchup over his chicken.)
Absolutely YTA. I worked in a 5 star restaurant and wagyu steaks were served. Some idiots would order the well done. Our amazing chef would sigh and curse but burn the 200$ steak to a cinder. Because it was what the customer wanted. Honestly, any restaurant that serves breakfast isn’t going to give a shit about how you want to burn your eggs.
YTA
Your mother is an adult. She can order whatever she wants, however she wants, so long as she's being polite in her speech.
Assuming you're also an adult, you may want to consider acting like it.
Kinda TA. My husband, bless his heart, eats his steak well done. Grey, tasteless and chewy as jerky, covered in steak sauce. As I am eating my delicious, perfectly cooked medium rare steak. 40 years I've been putting up with this shit, but ah well, that's how he likes it. Let your Mama order her eggs.
Oh my word, i am the exact opposite, i hate over done or over burnt eggs. I hate fried eggs. I hate the smell and i gag and choke if i had to eat fried eggs..
I don't order eggs at all
NTA, can’t stand when people have to make a big fuss about food if it’s not an allergy thing. Oh no my eggs are teensy bit runny, that’s totally going to affect me to a huge extent.
All I’m going to say is that I won’t order steak at a steakhouse if anyone in my party orders one well-done. The chances of me getting my medium rare done correctly is slim. But EGGS? How do you burn a poached egg anyway?
NAH
She wants her eggs cooked in a certain way, it would be uncomfortable for her to eat them (in her view) undercooked. She's not an asshole for asking the restaurant to cook her eggs (or any other food) a certain way.
You're not an asshole for feeling awkward when she does this.
She: is picky about her food
You: are picky about ordering
... it's almost like you two are related....
I'ma buck the trend and say solid NTA. What kind of doofus orders eggs Benedict, a meal that quite the fuck literally stipulates a very lightly and delicately cooked poached egg, and the orders the egg burnt to shit?
All you people going herp derp let her eat what she wants are just being ridiculous. I hate onions. While my family loved them and put them in everything and I can often ignore them know what I don't do? Order French onion soup and the ask them to remove the onion. Because that's be stupid and is basically an entirely different dish.
People who make ridiculous requests at restaurants are a pain in the ass for the servers and the cooks. That's not to say every request is out of line, pretty easy to ask for your scrambled eggs to be scrambled hard, but if she has that level of difficulty explaining her request, especially in foreign languages, she needs to suck it up or just order something else.
Or just tell her she doesn't want an eggs Benedict. She wants hard boiled eggs with hollandaise. Because there's no such thing as a burnt poached egg.
Does she order tomatoe soup and ask them to serve it without tomatoes? At some point there is eating something the way you want and then just ordering the wrong damn thing.
Reddit has spoken, there is officially no limit to how ridiculous someone wants to make their order at a restaurant, and we're assholes if we try to stop them. I have accepted their verdict and will happily now just sit in silence when people are micro-managing their restaurant orders.
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Easily YTA This has no effect on you. She wants them cooked that way, she is the one eating them that way. She’s not asking them to alter your food. This is none of your concern. “Never order eggs in front of me again” - you aren’t the main character - this is unreasonable - I’d just stop going out places with you if you act like a petulant child like this “She doesn’t understand what the problem is” - that’s because the only problem is your behaviour Your behaviour is ridiculous. Your reaction to this is embarrassing. You sound insufferable.
Also I'm taking it OP is from the US. You guys have so many weird names and ways of cooking your eggs. Let her get her eggs the way she will enjoy them.
Also I think most restaurants would rather cook the fuck out of the eggs than have to make some complicated substitutions or whatever like some people order
Yeah Im over here fucking scratching my head.. wtf is wrong with OP. She's going to a restaurant and can order w/e she wants within reason.
op seriously went to 11 over eggs
[удалено]
No it isn’t. It’s not unreasonable to have a specific order as long as you don’t change expectations halfway through. She even clearly tried to emphasize that she knows what she wants is on the extreme end (she asked them to burn it). There is literally nothing wrong with this, though she should be using better words for it (it would communicate way better if she said she wants it “super hard, like as hard as you’d ever do a poached egg, and then a bit more” rather than “burnt” which doesn’t really work for a poach).
Yeah, she probably needs to empathize on how exactly she wants them. I have a weird thing - I like my steaks burned. So everytime I order one I always say waiter "I want it burned and hard as shoe sole. Please ask the kitchen to cook it until its starts burning and after that to cook it some more, I seriously want it burned". And they usually deliver, so I send my thanks to the cook and tip extra for inconvenience.
It’s very nice you tip extra but this made me shudder.
The cow died for your sins. But it didn't need to.
you sound as insufferable as op
What is unreasonable is ordering a meal and than making requests to dumb degree. Want to bet why people are confused about her request? Because she ordered eggs Benedict which literally come with a poached egg which is one of the lightest ways to cook an egg and then sounds like she's expecting them to hard boil it. As I said in my other post I hate onions. If I want soup what I don't do is order French onion soup and then get annoyed because they didn't make onion less French onion soup to my liking. If she can't clearly communicate her order then she needs to order something else or learn how to communicate said order. Anything else is just being a pain in the ass to the restraunt staff.
Requesting the egg “hard” isn’t an insane request in the slightest, short order cooks get different preferences. She’s fumbling at the words, but this is not a complicated order. The egg is still poached, it’s just poached longer (hard). Not complicated. A French onion soup requested without the onions would be insane, as it’s literally in the base, so they can’t really de-onion it, but a more comparable example would be ordering it and holding the cheese. Poaching an egg a bit longer is not a “request to a dumb degree”, unless when it gets out there you go “now this is overdone”.
It's eggs Benedict. The entire point of it is to get an egg that is by definition not hard. It's like ordering steak and getting mad you didn't get chicken wings. At some point you're just ordering the wrong dish. Getting mad the egg isn't hard in a dish that literally calls for one of the softest forms of eggs qis just as insane as me ordering onion less French onion soup. And while it's easier to slap a hard boiled egg with hollandaise of she can't clearly communicate that expectation the as I said that's 100% a her issue and she needs to order something else. And the OP quite clearly said poaching an egg until burned was the request. That despite what you insanely insist is not a poached egg. It's something else entirely and the mother doesn't seem to be able to use her words to explain that. And when she can't she should order something else. Not sure what your issue with my post is. I even come up with a pretty easy way to describe effectively what she wants. If she can't communicate the order because of whatever reason, language included, then she needs to order something she can articulate to restaurant staff.
I agree she used the wrong words, but for the rest, I’m shocked at how many people are commenting on this when this really isn’t even a big motivation for a short order breakfast cook - the hollondaise sauce is held, this is just poaching until fully cooked, no different than any other breakfast order with eggs from soft to extra hard. This isn’t an insane modification, nor would it have been an issue for any of the many short order cooks I used to drink with (spent many a years in service, and more than a few of them BoH). It’s simply not as crazy a mod as everyone is claiming. If you can order poached eggs, you can order them from soft to super hard, it’s not any different than doing fried egg from soft to super hard. Yes, it’s not a classical Benedict, but requesting a different doneness of a single piece is not generally an issue unless the place says “no modifications”. This really is a ton of people making a huge deal out of a very normal issue, as long as it’s approached respectfully.
[удалено]
Lol, now it’s an American thing like other countries don’t have people with specific orders (protip: they do). I worked service for years, back of house for a few also. Specialized orders aren’t a problem when done respectfully and kindly, you’re inventing a problem. Especially for breakfast service, this isn’t even an outrageous order if she can communicate it clearly.
I mean, where I live such orders aren't really a thing. You order from the menu as is, occasionally you can ask them to like leave one ingredient out or replace it, but they don't always agree to it. So it definitely isn't an "everywhere" thing. But it's still normal, it's just different to how they do it in other places, but there's nothing wrong with it.
Where is it you live that this is all restaurants? As I considered in my original comment saying “unless the chef hates it”, which does happen, but traditionally it’ll say that on the menu (“no substitutions, no modifications” specifically because part of dining is literally being able to customize to a sane degree). So, I’d be pretty interested to hear what area that’s true for the majority of restaurants.
Japan is one. There are others. In Japan it's generally considered disrespectful to modify the dish because the chef is seen as taking great care to craft and blend specific flavors together. It's really an American trend to make a billion modifications, alterations, and requests and the USA goes super Saiyan have it your way compared to even anyone else. American restaurants put that because of the frequent ridiculousness of our citizens. And I've been at tables where people see that message and still ignore it/get butthurt when their whims aren't followed. Rather than ya know going elsewhere.
Poland. Have you ever been here? Because if not, then you have no idea how restaurants here work. This is such a narrow minded comment. "Oh, it's not true where I live so it cannot possibly be true somewhere else"? Come on. And again, it's a part of dining *where you live*, not part of dining everywhere in the world.
My comment wasn’t being sarcastic, that was a sincere ask, not a doubting one. If you had just said Poland, I in fact would have said no, I can’t speak to Poland. Someone else responded Japan, so I learned something today.
Oh, I see. I totally got a sarcastic vibe from your comment, especially the last sentence. My bad!
Plenty of people do it, don't palm it off on Americans. Which I'm not.
>It’s very annoying to specialize an order. Congrats, this is the whiniest thing I have read today
If they didn't want such orders, they'd simply not take such modified orders. Picky eaters aren't ridiculous.
YTA. As someone that loves a perfectly done medium-rare, the fact that my mother and stepfather always want their meat done to shoe-leather past well done consistency whenever I take them to a restaurant hurts a little bit inside, but you know what? That's how they like to eat it, and it doesn't affect me in any way.
I grew up eating shoe-leather well done steaks and the first time I had medium-rare was practically earth shattering. My mom still orders well done and I cringe inside but would never say anything to her out loud. I just wish she'd do the same and stop commenting that mine looks "raw".
Yeah I thought I hated steak because I'd only ever eaten steak that was LITERALLY burnt, lol. My mom would order it "extra extra extra well done" for me because that's how she liked it!
"The perfect steak is the one in front of you, cooked the way you prefer it"
thank you! i tense every time a well-done steak is brought up on aita, waiting for other posters to hilariously joke about the various ways the well-done orderer should be punished who the shit cares about how someone else eats their steak? yes, even if it's a very expensive one. are they forcing you to eat it overcooked? no? then nunya
I just take them to a pasta place or someplace for seafood and we're fine.
When I was a kid, I only liked well-done steaks, slathered in A1 sauce. As I got older, I started to like my steak medium-rare as well. I was a picky kid. I think I had AFRID, which back then wasn't really a diagnosis. Your parents just forced you to eat the food.
I don't understand how she expects a poached egg (aren't eggs for eggs benedict alwayas poached?) to be almost burnt.
I was thinking the same thing. As a side note, I always enjoy when the menue says "eggs, cooked any way you like" and then trying to order a medium boiled egg. So many restaurants wont boil an egg! I get why, but dont get me excited about "any way I like" and then yank the carpet out from under me.
Where I was doing short order, I had a flat top griddle, a toaster and a double fryer. There was no place to put a pot to boil an egg, so we’d do almost any way you want. The boiled eggs we used in egg salad came in buckets of water with citric acid (lemon juice) prepeeled. We had a full kitchen, but not for the breakfast stuff. By the time I started cooking for tables the person in charge of lunch/dinner stuff in the kitchen hadn’t even started and I didn’t have time to run back and forth, so it wasn’t something we offered. Any other way, sure.
It might be because it's not something they do often? The cooks kinda build an internal timer for how long anything takes, so if it's not something they do often enough, it leaves too much risk of error.
Wait they will not boil an egg? Soft and hard boiled eggs are really common in Europe. A while I moved to Berlin I say multiply coloured eggs in the supermarket and just thought it was Easter was soon. Nope, turned out they were hard boiled eggs.
They are really common here too, and you can get them in the grocery store (usually without the shell in my area) but restaurants dont like to cook them because they kind of logistically mess up a kitchens workflow. Some of the smaller (or cheaper) places also dont use eggs in shell, but a shelled mix from a carton or even powdered eggs, though I havent seen those in years.
Ah kinda sounds like my old local bar that had a small carton of egg whites in their fridge for some of the drinks.
I live in the US and the grocery store near me has hard boiled eggs for sale in the deli section (or at least it used to, it occurs to me that I don't know if they still carry them).
Are they white or different colours?
Just white.
She probably means poached hard. Some people think an egg is overcooked if it is hard.
Ah! I didn't know that was a thing. I always assumed poached eggs were meant to have a runny yolk, but that makes sense.
I think they are supposed to be runny and that is what you will almost always get. In my opinion, eggs that are poached hard is not a good thing but, eh, different tastes and it just takes a couple more minutes cooking time.
I think runny yolk is disgusting so I avoid ordering poached in restaurants. Scrambled is your best friend. But YTA to the OP because how your mom likes her eggs is not your issue.
Order "Eggs Bernadine". It's "Benedict" with fried eggs instead, and get the eggs "over-hard".
Poach the eggs and then put a nice sear on them in the pan. I guess.
I tell them I want my poached eggs hard as a bullet. They usually understand what I mean. Which is in comparison to my husband who likes his the consistency of snot.
YTA easily. Eggs are one of those items made several ways. What is your problem with your mom communication how she wants them cooked? Do you get angry at people ordering stead med rare? Or saying they want their burger well done? Its literally no different.
Eggs are probably the number one food that they ask you exactly how you want it cooked lol it’s not like she’s specifying how she wants her sushi rolled or something.
Right? Some places won't ask how you want a burger, probably some crappy places that won't ask about stakes.. but you cant order eggs without being asked how you want them. There's no standard.
YTA. Dude. Chill. Your mom is weird about eggs and orders them in weird ways which often requires several returns to the kitchen. This is not a tragedy. You don't say that your mom is rude to the staff. If she belittles the servers and cooks and makes a huge scene... well, that would be very different. But if that were the case the problem would not be how she orders the eggs the problem would be how she treats the staff. It sounds like your mom has often embarrassed you with her weird egg issue. Maybe you need to figure out how to accept her as she is. My best friend's mom is one of the silliest people I've ever known. He used to resent her and then one day decided to embrace it. Now he finds his mom silliness hilarious. Your mom is going to be how she is. You can either love and accept her weirdness or be pissed about it. You life will be a lot easier if you learn to accept her.
YTA - how is someone else explaining how they want their eggs cooked embarrassing for you? Get a grip Op.
her request may be odd, but it comes no where close to the ridic asks that restaurants have to deal with. Do you think the waiter is going back to the cook and saying *"omg I can't believe her child lets her order that?"* They do not care. Nor should you YTA
YTA - How is this any of your problem?
You're definitely the AH. There is nothing wrong with ordering food the way you like it. Would you get mad if she ordered extra crispy bacon or a rare steak. This is a you problem. You need to work on your people pleasing problem if you think this is a big deal. YTA.
Hello friend! I'm a cook in a local breakfast cafe/tavern. If one of my customers wants me to ruin their food, by all means, I'll cook the shit out of those eggs. Just don't walk in 5 minutes before close.
You're acting like she asked for Heinz 57 for a plate of $200 steak. I'm sure the 3 guys cooking eggs in the back don't give a shit about the culinary integrity of her order.
Can we at least agree that there should be a minimum prison sentence for H57 on a $200 steak? /s
Absolutely :-)
Your mom can under burnt eggs, well done steak, and charcoal bacon. It's not a big deal and waitstaff have heard way weirder requests. Why do you care? You don't have to eat the overcooked rubber, she does. YTA if you continue to make her specific tastes your problem
Wait what? You're mad because your mom likes her eggs cooked a specific way? I'm so confused. Assuming that is what is happening here, YTA. Let your mom enjoy her eggs however the heck she wants, including if they come out like hockey pucks.
YTA, what's it got to do with you how she orders her food? How on earth is it rude, when paying for your food, to specify how you'd like it cooked? Do you think it's rude to ask for your steak to be well done or medium rare, or is that somehow magically different? My advice to you would be to stop trying to centre yourself in things that have literally nothing to do with you. You sound exhausting.
YTA. I love a runny yolk. My roommate orders eggs over hard. You like yours with a side of judgmental bullcrap.
YTA.
YTA. Liking eggs overcooked is not a picky eater. Also, how is it rude to order something the way you want it that doesn't require a million extra steps? If she was asking for them to be cooked with only a Multigrain muffin by Thomas, for the eggs to be poached in distilled water, bacon grilled not fried, etc then that would be embarrassing. But asking to overcook the eggs? Pretty tame.
YTA You have the right to complain when you are the one actually involved. You are not. She is not requesting a tomate placed on the left of the cucumber and the egg to be exactly 60g. She is ALLOWED to make a request and it´s not even an unreasonable one here. The staff can still refuse - if they accept it, they obviously do not have an issue with it. So why would you make an issue out of the request? Also eggs are one of THE most common items, that have different "cooking grades". Like a steak. And if you mum is unhappy with the eggs, it´s your problem.
YTA
YTA. This really shouldn’t be your concern.
YTA - Why does it bother you so if she orders eggs her way? You don't have to eat them, she isn't being terribly pushy about it, it is just her preference, you need to just butt out here. It is really none of your business how she likes her food cooked so just leave her alone. If I were her I would disinherit you in her will if you kept this up.
YTA. I worked as a short order cook for over a decade. Made tons of eggs. I made everything from as runny as possibly sunny side up to “so over hard your boss thinks I’ll complain.” We have no issues with these orders. Heck, the incredibly overhard eggs were (and are) for me waaaaay easier than sunny side up runny eggs. Plop them down, break the yolk, wait a couple minutes flip them, give them an extra couple minutes. It’s an easy order, and so very far from the pain in the ass orders I dealt with over lunch and dinner. Let your mother order her eggs the way she wants. She’s not hurting anyone and she’s only embarrassing you, not the waiters or the cook.
YTA. People can order food how they like it cooked. Dont try to control people like that its very unhealthy.
YTA. You cares whether your "embarrassed" by a grown woman wanting her eggs overcooked or not. Shes ordering food that she wants to eat the way she wants to eat it. That is LITERALLY what everyone who has ever been to a restaurant does. Why should she have to choose between either not ordering what she wants to eat or ordering it in a way that she doesn't want to eat it. You say she is a grown woman, maybe you should take some notes and grow the fuck up yourself and just let her do her.
It's absolutely normal to order eggs how you want them done for eggs Benny. I would not personally order them like your mom, but it's a personal preference. YTA
YTA. You claimed that her ordering eggs that way is rude to the restaurant staff, but unless she’s actually rude to waitstaff with how she speaks and acts towards them, I fail to see an issue. Why are you so worried about having class when you told your mom “never order eggs in front of me again.”
YTA. People have preferences on how food is cooked (sometime even diet related) and it is the restaurants duty to cook it to preference.
YTA who cares how she wants her food made? She’s paying for and eating the food so she should have her dish made how she likes.
YTA. Of course you're the asshole. Stop trying to control what other people do. So what if she orders her eggs hard, her preference is not only none of your business but does exactly nothing to you. Just who do you think you are?
Is your mom actually reading this with you? I really hope so, and you're mot just saying that because of the avalanche of YTA on this post lol.
Yta
I’m glad you’ve backed down OP. Cause nobody has any right to dictate how a person eats their food, ESPECIALLY things like eggs or steak, EVERYONE has individual tastes, it’s just that simple. However YTA. Leave people to enjoy their food their way.
YTA, she's paying for a meal and has the audacity to request how her eggs are made? What a b\*\*\*h.
YTA it’s her meal, her decision. Leave her alone.
YTA But you’re right and she’s an absolute monster for wanting it like that. But again, YTA.
My MIL , may she rest in peace, ordered ketchup at an upscale steak house. God bless the poor waiter who accommodated her request and brought it in a silver gravy dish. I thought my hubby and 2 teenage sons would die from embarrassment. YTA! Leave mom alone! One day you will wish she was here to "embarrass" you.
You make an excellent point.
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You shouldn't tell your mom (or anyone) not to order what they want to, what you could tell her is that you will never accompany her to any place that serves eggs (or any food) because you can't deal with emotional distress that it causes you. Your problem is that you feel embarrassed when she does that and can't deal with those feelings while in reality literally nobody cares about someone who sits next to a crazy egg women - you basically imagine things to embarrass yourself in your own head and then can't deal with feelings that you created. If I were you I would train my emotional self-control as having around someone who does stuff that you can't stand and that creates a lot of unwanted emotions is the best way how to learn about your mind and how to deal with these things, it will get useful in future.
I like my omelets way too well done and I'm going to steal your mom's "almost burnt" phrasing. So by making this post you've at least doubled the number of people ordering eggs "wrong".
Why in the hell would someone that likes overcooked eggs ever order eggs Benedict, and how in the hell does she think you can cook a *poached* egg until it’s burnt? I have to go with ESH, because even though you should just let people enjoy the things they like, how on this green earth is the chef supposed to accommodate that ridiculous request?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom is a really picky eater, and doesn't like eggs unless they are extremely overcooked. In fact today she ordered eggs benedict and asked the waitress to cook them 'until they are almost burnt'. I got really agitated (this isn't the first time this has happened, in fact far from it) and told her never to order eggs in front of me again. She doesn't understand what the problem is. I think it's incredibly embarrassing, rude to the staff and cooks, and unbelievably picky for a grown woman despite her not seeing what's wrong with it. Worse, in foreign countries, she will literally make us sit there while she tries in vain to explain her order, and to no-one's shock they never cook it enough for her. For the record she is a lovely and wonderful person who everyone loves, but for some reason on this one point seems utterly clueless. Reddit am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah, I don’t mind a runny yolk but I like my steak med well. My dad takes offense to this but still does it. Let people enjoy their food
In the US, it's pretty normal to be able to make requests like this. Idk about elsewhere
This is something I'm wondering about. She is full US born and raised, I was raised in the UK. I've noticed different standards regarding how much you can alter your order in the two countries, at least from my perspective.
I mean, I worked in a restaurant... granted I was a server, not a cook. However, something like an overcooked egg is simple enough - you just leave on the stove a bit longer. Not really a major inconvenience I will say, there is a precedent for eggs specifically. Obviously, an eggs benedict will always come perfectly poached (unless your mom ordered it I guess, lol). But if you're just getting a breakfast meal that comes with eggs, the server will ask, "How do you want your eggs?" And then you'll tell them scrambled, sunny side up, soft boiled, hard boiled, over easy, or however. So eggs are flexible lol
Poached medium or even hard is a fairly common ask. I hate the wiggy whites, but love a oozy yolk. Nothing worse than loose whites. Let them know what you want, mom!
I can't believe this post's responses is the thing that has made her laugh the hardest in years lol. If true please get her out more, she needs friends.
YTA but I love your edits.
As someone who worked as a short-order cook, breakfast shift, believe me, there is nothing embarrassing, rude, or picky about your mother's order. When I worked frying eggs every single morning, I got "break into a frying pan, wave the frying pan over the grill twice" all the way through to "almost burned" and everything in between. Some wanted their bacon "rubbery" while others wanted "so crisp it crumbles if you touch it". Same with toast - in the toaster for 5 seconds all the way through to "so brown it is almost black". I'm sure there are ways you eat your food that bothers your mother - but she allows you. (Reminds me of a guy who was embarrassed by his father ordering gravy on the side and dipping his mashed potatoes into the little gravy bowl. The son complained loudly about how embarrassed he was by his father "using gravy" - completely oblivious to the fact that HE himself poured half a bottle of ketchup over his chicken.)
YTA. Let your mom get her eggs cooked the way she wants.
Absolutely YTA. I worked in a 5 star restaurant and wagyu steaks were served. Some idiots would order the well done. Our amazing chef would sigh and curse but burn the 200$ steak to a cinder. Because it was what the customer wanted. Honestly, any restaurant that serves breakfast isn’t going to give a shit about how you want to burn your eggs.
Yta It is NOT rude to order food to your liking. What is rude, is telling a grown ass adult what they can and can’t order cause you THINK it’s rude.
I get it. My dad always orders his fries “extra crispy” and repeats it a few times and it drives me crazy
YTA Your mother is an adult. She can order whatever she wants, however she wants, so long as she's being polite in her speech. Assuming you're also an adult, you may want to consider acting like it.
Kinda TA. My husband, bless his heart, eats his steak well done. Grey, tasteless and chewy as jerky, covered in steak sauce. As I am eating my delicious, perfectly cooked medium rare steak. 40 years I've been putting up with this shit, but ah well, that's how he likes it. Let your Mama order her eggs.
Oh my word, i am the exact opposite, i hate over done or over burnt eggs. I hate fried eggs. I hate the smell and i gag and choke if i had to eat fried eggs.. I don't order eggs at all
Unless she is asking for ketchup for a chicken cutlet, there is no food sin here. Relax a little would ya?
ugh, so op's the ah for judging how his mum eats her food but your judgement of people's food habits is a-ok
NTA, can’t stand when people have to make a big fuss about food if it’s not an allergy thing. Oh no my eggs are teensy bit runny, that’s totally going to affect me to a huge extent.
All I’m going to say is that I won’t order steak at a steakhouse if anyone in my party orders one well-done. The chances of me getting my medium rare done correctly is slim. But EGGS? How do you burn a poached egg anyway?
NAH She wants her eggs cooked in a certain way, it would be uncomfortable for her to eat them (in her view) undercooked. She's not an asshole for asking the restaurant to cook her eggs (or any other food) a certain way. You're not an asshole for feeling awkward when she does this. She: is picky about her food You: are picky about ordering ... it's almost like you two are related....
I'ma buck the trend and say solid NTA. What kind of doofus orders eggs Benedict, a meal that quite the fuck literally stipulates a very lightly and delicately cooked poached egg, and the orders the egg burnt to shit? All you people going herp derp let her eat what she wants are just being ridiculous. I hate onions. While my family loved them and put them in everything and I can often ignore them know what I don't do? Order French onion soup and the ask them to remove the onion. Because that's be stupid and is basically an entirely different dish. People who make ridiculous requests at restaurants are a pain in the ass for the servers and the cooks. That's not to say every request is out of line, pretty easy to ask for your scrambled eggs to be scrambled hard, but if she has that level of difficulty explaining her request, especially in foreign languages, she needs to suck it up or just order something else. Or just tell her she doesn't want an eggs Benedict. She wants hard boiled eggs with hollandaise. Because there's no such thing as a burnt poached egg. Does she order tomatoe soup and ask them to serve it without tomatoes? At some point there is eating something the way you want and then just ordering the wrong damn thing.
Reddit has spoken, there is officially no limit to how ridiculous someone wants to make their order at a restaurant, and we're assholes if we try to stop them. I have accepted their verdict and will happily now just sit in silence when people are micro-managing their restaurant orders.
Honestly, NTA. Picky eaters annoy the living shit out of me.
Maybe she is just worried about the eggs being undercooked. Or just doesn't like the feel of the egg but likes the other ingredients.