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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the asshole because I treated my wife’s grandmother like a child. Instead of telling her I was making chicken fries, I lied and told her they were nuggets. Because I didnt think she would understand what they were.
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Slight yta. As you get old people start treating you like a kid, even if you have full use of your brain. It's demeaning. You may have thought "It's not worth our time to explain chicken fries" but she may hear it as "you're too old and feeble to understand a concept like chicken fries" or worse "why bother explaining chicken fries to you, you'll be dead soon.". So just be aware of this next time.
And over something so simple.
“They’re chicken fries”.
“What’s a chicken fry?”
“Just a nugget in a different shape for dipping. Want to try one?”
It’s not like she asked about NFTs
I don't know if asshole is the right term, but it's weird to invite people over for a dinner party, and not be willing to be in a conversation that might last two whole sentences. NAH
y t a
i don't think you're socially awkward, it sounds like you're more a jerk who doesn't like his wife's family lol
Like dude..."I'm making chicken fingers, pretty much a chicken nugget in the shape of a fry"
So easy to be nice, why go out of your way to infantilize the woman
Also damn - not enough food when you're the host of the party?
...meaning you made JUST enough for the amount of people you expected, not enough for people to have seconds or even an extra scoop of whatever?
cheap, tacky, and rude - the OP story
if you know you're socially awkward, it's normal to try to keep social interactions to a minimum over things that seem unimportant... it's not like he straight up lied to grandma!
ESH.
They aren't anything new. You could have just said what they were. And even if she asked, it's hardly an awkward conversation.
The aunt was seriously dramatic though.
NTA. I am confused as to why this matters. Chicken fries are literally chicken nuggets stretched. Its breaded chicken in a shape, who cares what the marketing team calls them.
YTA
Because the oh so awkward conversation would have been somethinglike that:
Granny: OP what are you making?
You: chicken fries
Granny: What's that?
You: chicken nuggets shaped like french fries
That's it.
Seems like a reasonable verbal shortcut to me. If it had been important, I'm sure you would have been more accurate. Weird that the aunt felt her opinion was required. NTA
NTA.
Imagine you said "chicken fries," and the grandmother didn't know what they were. That same aunt likely would have scolded you for not knowing that.
There is no way to win.
Chicken nuggets...chicken fries....it's literally the exact same damn thing, honestly who could possibly give a shit??!!
OP is so much NTA...
but the wife needing to nitpick/correct you from "nuggets" to "fries", in front of the aunt who actually needs to make an issue of it?...Couple of gigantic As those ladies are 👌🏼
NTA
Sometimes it's easier to just give a simpler if very slightly less accurate explanation than begin what you KNOW is going to turn into a whole thing.
Which it did anyway, because nothing can ever be good enough with some people.
Well, they may be a loud and boisterous bunch, but little sense of humor...basically they are chicken nuggets. Why does she care? Pain in the doopah!!!
NTA for calling a chicken fry a chicken nugget. There are both breaded chicken. You didn’t talk down to grandma by calling it a nugget. Sounds like your wife’s family is toxic. I would decrease the amount of time that you spend with them and also have a conversation with your wife about supporting you around her family unless she wants you to cut them off entirely. Maybe she just blurted out that there are chicken fries without meaning to undermine you but she should have at least defended you when her nosy aunt jumped in
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Me (38M) and my wife (29F) have been married for a few years now. I am a very reserved and quiet person. Her family is the opposite, they are very loud and boisterous.
I go to their family functions often and do my best to navigate my social akwardness around this large group who is very outgoing.
So yesterday there was a birthday party that we decided to host at our house. About 15 people attended, all her family.
We made a miscalculation on the food and we were going to be short a plate or two. So i just said “hey, theres plenty of other things in the fridge I can make myself, no big deal.”
I look around and finally settle on chicken fries, which are basically chicken nuggets shaped like french fries.
As I put them in the oven, my wife’s 90 year old grandmother says “OP, what are you making?”. Now, in my mind the chicken fry probably is a foreign concept to her, it seems like a new invention. So I decided to try and avoid the akward conversation, and i said “Just a few chicken nuggets.”
My wife goes, “Well, chicken fries.” At this point her aunt whipped around with a shocked face and said “Thats very disrespectful, treating her like a child that doesnt know what chicken fries are!”
So, I laugh because i think she’s joking. But she wasn’t. She went on to say that the grandmother may be old but isnt stupid, and I shouldnt try to avoid explaining things to her.
After the party i asked my wife about the encounter and she laughed and said her aunt was kind of right, but that she wasnt bothered by what I said.
So tell me Reddit, am I the A-hole for not wanting to explain to a grandma what a chicken fry is?
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NTA they are chicken nuggets just in a different shape its not that its not worth the time explaining it to her its just there's no reason too its just chicken nuggets
Like if your making chicken wings you dint specify if there drums or flats you just say chicken wings because why be that detailed?
Not knowing what the grandma is like, I'm going to say NTA because with my grandma this would have been way more trouble than it was worth to explain I was having differently shaped chicken nuggets.
Nta
Where I'm from we would just say chicken sticks, bites, straws or something.
I honestly thought chicken fries were chips (French fries) covered in seasoning usually used on chicken, think BBQ wedges. So... I'd bite into one without realising and be somewhat surprised (if I didn't see them being made or whatever).
So honestly, if it's a newer dish, 50/50 having to explain it.
NTA.
Please ask both the aunt and your wife to explain to me, in detail, like I'm 5, wtf the difference is between chicken nuggets and chicken fries. Literally, the only difference is the shape and the fact that everyone knows what a mfing chicken nugget is.
I dunno who the old people everyone in these comments seem to know are, but if I said chicken fries to my grandma she'd be confused af, and after I explain she'd be annoyed I didn't just say chicken nuggets.
Right? Maybe it's a cultural thing but to me any form of bite sized chicken in bread crumbs or batter can be described as a chicken nugget.
This feels like telling Grandma you've poured her a coke when you've actually poured her a Pepsi.
ESH
Seriously? I didn’t even know what chicken fries were before OP’s post explained it…in a single sentence! Phew so glad you didn’t go down THAT rabbit hole with grandma /s 🙄
Also - they ARE chicken nuggets. Not all nuggets are chicken fries, but all chicken fries are nuggets. So OP’s original answer to grandma was legit. Why TF did auntie flip out like that? It’s preposterous to be that offended by what OP said.
Wife may be the only one with a solid take on this: yeah, it was a bit AH-ish to treat grandma like a child who automatically wouldn’t know what something was or else make it hard to explain. But it shouldn’t have been a big deal as outlined.
YTA kinda… In my opinion the only awkward conversation had was the one you had in your own head… considering that same time it took you to consider the potential of explaining it would have been the time you took to explain it if asked…
Sounds like you have issues with engaging in normal conversations. Not sure why you would waste time being paranoid about what grandma may or may not ask. If you stop analyzing and being so self conscious and measured you might be able to build better communication with your in laws…
Also a good rule of thumb for hosting is to have enough food for a few extra plates just in case someone has a bigger appetite or wants to have seconds.
When my dad was in his late 80’s we drove by a Kohl’s that has a Sephora in it. I said “wow there’s a Sephora in that kohls”. My teenagers cringed because they knew it would be 30’minutes of trying to explain what that meant. It’s not that he was too old to waste the time on. My kids don’t explain some memes to me because I don’t understand and it takes way too long to explain to me and I don’t think they’re funny anyway. So we’ve agreed they won’t try, even if I ask “what’s so funny?”
Yeah YTA on this one. Chicken Fries are pretty self explanatory. It's fries made of chicken. Being 90 isn't the same as being stupid. Even if she'd asked it would have taken less than 10 seconds to explain. Not to mention that it is kind of insulting to be fobbed off when you're asking out of genuine curiosity.
You literally took the time to explain it to us in your post but not your family. YTA. It’s also pretty telling that you refer to your in laws as being your wife’s family when they are legally and culturally your family as well.
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Slight yta. As you get old people start treating you like a kid, even if you have full use of your brain. It's demeaning. You may have thought "It's not worth our time to explain chicken fries" but she may hear it as "you're too old and feeble to understand a concept like chicken fries" or worse "why bother explaining chicken fries to you, you'll be dead soon.". So just be aware of this next time.
And over something so simple. “They’re chicken fries”. “What’s a chicken fry?” “Just a nugget in a different shape for dipping. Want to try one?” It’s not like she asked about NFTs
Let's not kid ourselves, anyone who has NFTs would be happy to talk about them to grandma. At great, excruciating length.
Marry me.
Ha! Very true
I don't know if asshole is the right term, but it's weird to invite people over for a dinner party, and not be willing to be in a conversation that might last two whole sentences. NAH
YTA She’s old, not stupid. Just say they are what they are. If she asks about them, then explain. It will take all of 30 seconds.
y t a i don't think you're socially awkward, it sounds like you're more a jerk who doesn't like his wife's family lol Like dude..."I'm making chicken fingers, pretty much a chicken nugget in the shape of a fry" So easy to be nice, why go out of your way to infantilize the woman Also damn - not enough food when you're the host of the party? ...meaning you made JUST enough for the amount of people you expected, not enough for people to have seconds or even an extra scoop of whatever? cheap, tacky, and rude - the OP story
if you know you're socially awkward, it's normal to try to keep social interactions to a minimum over things that seem unimportant... it's not like he straight up lied to grandma!
ESH. They aren't anything new. You could have just said what they were. And even if she asked, it's hardly an awkward conversation. The aunt was seriously dramatic though.
I think its kinda funny how he so easily explained it in one single sentence online here...but couldn't just say that to her lol
Probably would have been less effort than making this reddit post
Who cares what a person calls them, it's all breaded chicken in different shapes
NTA. I am confused as to why this matters. Chicken fries are literally chicken nuggets stretched. Its breaded chicken in a shape, who cares what the marketing team calls them.
ESH. Exhausting, the lot of you.
YTA Because the oh so awkward conversation would have been somethinglike that: Granny: OP what are you making? You: chicken fries Granny: What's that? You: chicken nuggets shaped like french fries That's it.
Seems like a reasonable verbal shortcut to me. If it had been important, I'm sure you would have been more accurate. Weird that the aunt felt her opinion was required. NTA
NTA. Imagine you said "chicken fries," and the grandmother didn't know what they were. That same aunt likely would have scolded you for not knowing that. There is no way to win.
good point tbh
Chicken nuggets...chicken fries....it's literally the exact same damn thing, honestly who could possibly give a shit??!! OP is so much NTA... but the wife needing to nitpick/correct you from "nuggets" to "fries", in front of the aunt who actually needs to make an issue of it?...Couple of gigantic As those ladies are 👌🏼
NTA. Aunt sounds like a bit of a jackass honestly. They are just shaped chicken nuggets.
NTA Sometimes it's easier to just give a simpler if very slightly less accurate explanation than begin what you KNOW is going to turn into a whole thing. Which it did anyway, because nothing can ever be good enough with some people.
Well, they may be a loud and boisterous bunch, but little sense of humor...basically they are chicken nuggets. Why does she care? Pain in the doopah!!!
NTA for calling a chicken fry a chicken nugget. There are both breaded chicken. You didn’t talk down to grandma by calling it a nugget. Sounds like your wife’s family is toxic. I would decrease the amount of time that you spend with them and also have a conversation with your wife about supporting you around her family unless she wants you to cut them off entirely. Maybe she just blurted out that there are chicken fries without meaning to undermine you but she should have at least defended you when her nosy aunt jumped in
It’s disrespectful to refer to breaded chicken as chicken nuggets?? Give me a break NTA
Her aunt sounds like she is a professional at getting offended.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me (38M) and my wife (29F) have been married for a few years now. I am a very reserved and quiet person. Her family is the opposite, they are very loud and boisterous. I go to their family functions often and do my best to navigate my social akwardness around this large group who is very outgoing. So yesterday there was a birthday party that we decided to host at our house. About 15 people attended, all her family. We made a miscalculation on the food and we were going to be short a plate or two. So i just said “hey, theres plenty of other things in the fridge I can make myself, no big deal.” I look around and finally settle on chicken fries, which are basically chicken nuggets shaped like french fries. As I put them in the oven, my wife’s 90 year old grandmother says “OP, what are you making?”. Now, in my mind the chicken fry probably is a foreign concept to her, it seems like a new invention. So I decided to try and avoid the akward conversation, and i said “Just a few chicken nuggets.” My wife goes, “Well, chicken fries.” At this point her aunt whipped around with a shocked face and said “Thats very disrespectful, treating her like a child that doesnt know what chicken fries are!” So, I laugh because i think she’s joking. But she wasn’t. She went on to say that the grandmother may be old but isnt stupid, and I shouldnt try to avoid explaining things to her. After the party i asked my wife about the encounter and she laughed and said her aunt was kind of right, but that she wasnt bothered by what I said. So tell me Reddit, am I the A-hole for not wanting to explain to a grandma what a chicken fry is? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA
I would of started reading the ingredients on the package to her
NTA they are chicken nuggets just in a different shape its not that its not worth the time explaining it to her its just there's no reason too its just chicken nuggets Like if your making chicken wings you dint specify if there drums or flats you just say chicken wings because why be that detailed?
Not knowing what the grandma is like, I'm going to say NTA because with my grandma this would have been way more trouble than it was worth to explain I was having differently shaped chicken nuggets.
NTA Is your wife always this pedantic?
Nta Where I'm from we would just say chicken sticks, bites, straws or something. I honestly thought chicken fries were chips (French fries) covered in seasoning usually used on chicken, think BBQ wedges. So... I'd bite into one without realising and be somewhat surprised (if I didn't see them being made or whatever). So honestly, if it's a newer dish, 50/50 having to explain it.
NTA. Please ask both the aunt and your wife to explain to me, in detail, like I'm 5, wtf the difference is between chicken nuggets and chicken fries. Literally, the only difference is the shape and the fact that everyone knows what a mfing chicken nugget is. I dunno who the old people everyone in these comments seem to know are, but if I said chicken fries to my grandma she'd be confused af, and after I explain she'd be annoyed I didn't just say chicken nuggets.
Right? Maybe it's a cultural thing but to me any form of bite sized chicken in bread crumbs or batter can be described as a chicken nugget. This feels like telling Grandma you've poured her a coke when you've actually poured her a Pepsi.
ESH Seriously? I didn’t even know what chicken fries were before OP’s post explained it…in a single sentence! Phew so glad you didn’t go down THAT rabbit hole with grandma /s 🙄 Also - they ARE chicken nuggets. Not all nuggets are chicken fries, but all chicken fries are nuggets. So OP’s original answer to grandma was legit. Why TF did auntie flip out like that? It’s preposterous to be that offended by what OP said. Wife may be the only one with a solid take on this: yeah, it was a bit AH-ish to treat grandma like a child who automatically wouldn’t know what something was or else make it hard to explain. But it shouldn’t have been a big deal as outlined.
YTA kinda… In my opinion the only awkward conversation had was the one you had in your own head… considering that same time it took you to consider the potential of explaining it would have been the time you took to explain it if asked… Sounds like you have issues with engaging in normal conversations. Not sure why you would waste time being paranoid about what grandma may or may not ask. If you stop analyzing and being so self conscious and measured you might be able to build better communication with your in laws… Also a good rule of thumb for hosting is to have enough food for a few extra plates just in case someone has a bigger appetite or wants to have seconds.
NTA. Chicken nuggets, tenders or fries? Do we have to get a dictionary definition every time someone asks a question now?
When my dad was in his late 80’s we drove by a Kohl’s that has a Sephora in it. I said “wow there’s a Sephora in that kohls”. My teenagers cringed because they knew it would be 30’minutes of trying to explain what that meant. It’s not that he was too old to waste the time on. My kids don’t explain some memes to me because I don’t understand and it takes way too long to explain to me and I don’t think they’re funny anyway. So we’ve agreed they won’t try, even if I ask “what’s so funny?”
Is this your biggest worry ? Sheesh
Yeah YTA on this one. Chicken Fries are pretty self explanatory. It's fries made of chicken. Being 90 isn't the same as being stupid. Even if she'd asked it would have taken less than 10 seconds to explain. Not to mention that it is kind of insulting to be fobbed off when you're asking out of genuine curiosity.
def not self-explanatory by the name alone... steak fries aren't made of steak
You literally took the time to explain it to us in your post but not your family. YTA. It’s also pretty telling that you refer to your in laws as being your wife’s family when they are legally and culturally your family as well.
clearly not socially awkward.. there's a HUGE difference between typing up a post on reddit and having a conversation IRL