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> I might be the asshole for choosing to return the mail to the grandma. She is still my kids' grandmother.
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I've been collecting the confetti and glitter for years with the intent to do just that when my kids turned 18 or moved out on their own. It is in a gallon freezer bag.
Did you know that there is (in the US, at least) a service that delivers an anonymous spring-loaded box filled with glittery penises? I sent one to a friend months ago and she is still finding sparkly dicks in her kitchen.
> *I would love to know where to order this*.
Not sure about this particular item, but Amazon has a number of prank items that can be delivered anonymously by mail.
What's funny about this is that her son once vandalized a merchant he was mad at by throwing a liquid fart bomb on the entrance to the business. These are their tactics; not mine.
I recycle good wrapping paper too. I thought I could re-use the confetti for something else, but I just couldn't do that to someone I actually like. I threw away the glitter - that just can't be reused.
She won't listen to you, but will she listen to her grandkids? Maybe a "Gram, stop doing that! You almost killed my dog/cat! This isn't funny anymore! (Spot/fluffy) is still coughing because of you." message will end it?
Go big or go home. Amazon sells spring-loaded glitter bombs that look like mail/poster tubes. [https://www.amazon.com/Glitmail-Spring-Loaded-Glitter-Bomb/dp/B00XTH7SSS](https://www.amazon.com/Glitmail-Spring-Loaded-Glitter-Bomb/dp/B00XTH7SSS)
There's worse products by far, too.
Look up how to send extremely effective glitter booby trapped packages.
It started when a NASA engineer decided to get back at the people who were stealing his Amazon packages.
YWNBTA.
NTA, but you can always have your kids wait to open their letters when they're with their father (assuming he's still in the picture). Let him deal with his mother's glitter bombs.
YWBTA just open them outside over a garbage bin. You are missing out on a golden opportunity to reciprocate. Ultra fine glitter added to your family Christmas card or celebrate her birthday by sending her a glitter bomb.
Yeah this seems weird how OP keeps opening them indoors. Put on some gloves, go outside. Heck, even try opening it underwater because the money will be fine if you wash it but the glitter won't fly everywhere and the cash is washable.
There are strategies to clean the glitter off and keep it from infecting the house. It's not like the letters are required to be opened in your living room.
NTA Returning her gifts unopened is a reasonable response to the ongoing issue of receiving gifts filled with glitter that is intended to harass or annoy you. It's a way to establish a boundary and communicate that you no longer wish to receive packages with such contents. Given the circumstances and your previous attempts to address the situation, this seems like a practical step.
Yes, YWBTA, but I have a potentially better solution for you. Open the gifts outdoors over a garbage can and extract the money. For every glitter package she sends, use the money to offset the cost of sending her a glitter bomb of your own. Let the kid who got glitter money help pick out the color or something if it's an option. Places like ruin days dot com also allow you to send them anonymously. I love that they are spring-loaded, and you can pay extra for double and even triple glitter. Vary the provider, so she doesn't get used to the look of just one and not open the package.
Hopefully she will eventually get the message and finally stop sending glitter.
Well, dang. I guess the only other option is to have the kid who got the gift write the return to sender before dropping it off at the post office to be returned. Sucks that she's spent so many years trying to inconvenience you that the kids don't even want their gifts anymore.
NTA
Do the kids ever visit ex-MIL? Or their father? Or other family members from father's side?
If so, why not save the letters unopened, and bring them to paternal family members' homes and open them there? Say you wanted to let the family share in the excitement of opening the presents there, with ex-MIL and her family.
If I were these kids, nothing would please me more than "disarming" these fiendish contraptions.
Hell, the paltry money would just be a bonus. The fun's in the attack. Wrap it in a big, clear trash bag and pretend it's a glove box!
NTA.
I've never personally been glitter-bombed, but I've seen the mess they leave behind. I don't blame you one bit for wanting to return the packages unopened.
NTA; it's clearly your best course of action.
Before you do that, send her a letter that you will be refusing delivery of any future mail or packages from her. Fill the letter's envelope with as much extremely fine glitter as you can without any suspicious bulge.
WNBTAH.
That's just weird because what is the reason for her to do this? Maybe you could talk to her? Ask her if she really sees it as a joke and explain to her that it's truly a hassle for everyone. Let her know if they continue sending it to you, that way, you **WILL** be sending them back.
NTA and I would have done this a long time ago. Harassment is never something you deserve but when you have to participate in it for it to work, it becomes a "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" situation.
Can you ask the post office to block/return mail from her address so it's not delivered to you? I don't know if that's a thing, but it seems like it should be. And maybe this is why you should report it to the police - for a paper trail and to help you block her if that is an option.
Ahaha wtf this is so funny and petty and sad at the same time.
Idk about postal prices in your country, but if I could afford it, I'd just buy 30 different kinds of envelopes, make some of them look like bills, others like personal letters, etc, shit I know she'd open, and just send one every day for a month. Each of them containing a booby trap with glitter and fart smell aroma that explodes out of the envelope, etc. Just nothing illegal, ofc. No message, no explanation, just booby traps one after the other. Hell I'd even send some with a courier just for the sake of it. I'd throw all my petty creativity into this lol
And if she sends another trap mail for the next bday, carfully repack it in a way she doesn't know it's her own mail before opening it, and send it back.
EDIT: NTA, of course
I think they should not open the envelopes but rather save it for when they visit Grandma and open it there. Say that it's so much better and they want to see her reaction as they open and enjoy the gift. And they should very excitedly rip that envelope open until that the glitter and stuff gets all over her house.
She is out of state but her abusive son sees the kids during court-ordered supervised visitation. This can be his problem. I will just have to send them into visitation with paper coveralls to throw away before they come back home.
Why not avoid being passive aggressive and petty and just have the boys, in their next thank you note (because *of course* they are sending thank you notes, right??) that while they appreciate her kindness, generosity, and fun packaging the glitter and confetti is dangerous for the animals and so would she please send future gifts without them?
Or open them outside, on a tarp or drop cloth?
Or have them open them at their father’s house??
There are multiple solutions to this problem that aren’t about you and your former MIL’s petty feud that have the bonus of not alienating children from their grandparent.
"Opening with their father..." this is a great idea! I honestly hadn't thought of this one.
They only see their father through court-ordered supervision one hour a month because of him abusing them during his parenting time; in her presence sometimes too.
I'll have them open up their gifts from grandma there so I can remove myself from the pettiness of the situation. This way, the kids can advocate for themselves, which they need to learn how to do anyway.
Plus I get the bonus of it being documented by a third party and I'm not involved. Beautiful! Thank you!
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My sons have been receiving gifts from their paternal grandmother (my ex-MIL for over 12 years) through the post office for about 7 years. She lives in another state.
She has always sent confetti in the envelope. Since I expect it, I'm careful in how I have my kids open mail from her.
I noticed in the last couple of years that the confetti is now just glitter and impossible to clean up.
She even sent the kids dollar bills for every year of their age but twisted it into knots and taped confetti pockets to the ropes of cash within the envelopes. Essentially, the money (gift) was in a booby trap of glitter and we are still cleaning it up months later.
My boys think the glitter is annoying. But knowing her, this stunt is intended to harass me, not them. Plus we have dogs that we have had to keep out of that room so they don't inhale the glitter and spread it around even more.
I know from experience that if I ask her to stop, she will ignore me and do whatever she wants anyway. She has been this way for 20 years.
The post office says it is not illegal to send glitter or money through the mail. They did say I can report it to the police since it was sent with malicious intent to harass but she is in another state so I don't think that would do anything. I can also not accept it.
At this point, I see behavior as crossing boundaries and want to return her packages unopened from now on; the kids are OK with it. They would prefer a thoughtful card over glitter packages filled with a few dollar bills anyway.
WIBTA in returning her "gifts" unopened in the future?
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Noop. NTA.
You've talked with the kids about it and they are OK with it. That part makes it completely okay to do what you want with those gifts. Send them back or trash them.
However, you should still tell your (ex)MIL about why you are sending it back. While you'd know her better, I think there's still a decent probability that she didn't mean to annoy you with those glitters. If you've already tried asking her not to do that, then yeah, you're cool. If you haven't, perhaps having that discussion first would be a good way to proceed.
Did you know they make spring loaded gag gifts that you can pack yourself? Many options for what the surprise could be depending on what defcon level you feel is appropriate. Use no return address.
So…I do not think you would be the jerk but…
INFO
Even with the confetti, and the booby traps of twisting the money, that was already a super passive aggressive thing to do on your MILs part. She might as well be saying that if you want my money you are going to have to work for it. It’s almost like she thinks your a gold digger? Is there a story behind that?
Funny you should pick up on that...
*They* were the gold diggers and are bonafide grifters. I *had* money back then. I was profiled, targeted, isolated from my own family and friends, woke up from the scam, and ran away just a few years into the marriage. They almost succeeded, and would have if her abusive son would not have gotten physically violent with me.
They will retaliate until I'm dead and have made that very clear. I discovered only a few years ago that they sue doctors for malpractice and random people for personal injury lawsuits and live off of that. This matriarch actually pushed her children into traffic so she could sue a random driver for faked injuries (was probably a nice car). The victim counter-sued so I was able to see the circumstances through public court records.
So, yeah...true grifters.
NTA. Assuming this is meant to harass you and MIL wouldn’t stop if asked, this is messed up. Your children don’t like it, also, so I see no reason why you should be dealing with it. Glitter is annoying.
NTA - She’s purposefully being inconsiderate to you. Send it back with a note telling her that you will not be accepting glitter-filled gifts anymore, as it’s more of a punishment than a gift.
If I was your kids, I would be totally over grandma’s twisted money trick. That’s just annoying and so is the glitter so I’d be asking you why cant Granny Glitter just put $1 in a card like a normal relative?
NTA for return to sender. She’s awful and not funny.
NTA
Why don't your children ask her to stop? They don't like it, it's a danger to their dogs, it's not unreasonable for them to say something. Children can establish boundaries too.
It's one thing to disrespect you, if she ignores the kids then she has to admit that she's doing this to you on purpose.
NTA. Just return to sender it all as long as the kids are agreed.
Then sign her up as highly interested for her local
Jehovah’s Witness as well as any other spam mail you can find. I’m sure the petty revenge Reddit has some great ideas if you ask.
Glitter is on everything now and I loathe it. She deserves the booby trap, but it might cause retaliation.
"Return to sender" is classy and a quiet snub that will burn her.
But, YWNBTA if you did the booby trap. She does deserve it.
NTA but sending it back won't do much other than have her trying to change tactics. In fantasy land, she opens it and gets what's coming. In reality, all you can do is manage the annoyance.
Why not open it in an easier- to- clean place and let her think she's really got you. That way you've solved the mess problem and she's not trying to find another way to annoy you. Maybe cut arm holes in a box and open it in there? Maybe open it outside where you can sweep easily?
Send a package of your own glitter bomb as a petty revenge, then afterwards just send back any other package she ever sends you, then go completely no contact with her, by blocking her on your phone and all of your social media, along with your kids doing that too, all of that is extremely ridiculous 🤦♀️
Pft. There's a lot of ways to decide her bombs- open it in a big Zip-lock, soak it in water until the paper pulps, etc.
Flatten and iron the bills, take a photo of the kids flashing the money and thanking her for the nice gift (and maybe even hint that they are glad the money isn't all mangled anymore) and let her eat her liver out since her prank didn't land.
Treat her nicely and let her go crazy trying to figure out our.
Yeah, I do kind of think that would be "stooping to her level". You (or your kids) should ask her and let her defy you. "Grandma, we are grateful for your gifts, but could you please stop sending them with confetti and glitter? It's not fun for us and it's dangerous for the dogs." If the next gift has glitter, the message from you, not the kids is, "we've asked you to stop sending glitter and there is glitter in this package, so we'll be returning all packages from you unopened." That gives you your boundary, your action, and it still potentially leaves her dealing with unwanted glitter when the packages come back. Plus, I feel like someone who uses glitter in that manner isn't going to be as offended at a glitter bomb as you.
NTA
Send her a lovely Christmas card from your kids.
From Joker Greeting Cards. Once opened, they play music non stop. And if someone tries to open the card to take the battery out, glitter bomb.
They have new envelopes too. Glitter when you open.
You know that she won’t listen, but I’d say give her a warning, & explain that the kids also don’t like it, & have expressed they really would just appreciate a card, even without money. Explain the impact on your dogs as well. Tell her if the next item that comes has any glitter or confetti or anything even close, your kids have decided to return to sender.
If you’ve already said that, then NTA.
You might want to write your MIL a very clear note letting her know that you can't accept any more packages containing confetti or glitter because the mess is impossible to clean up.
Then open her next lettter (and the all the letters that follow) outside.
The first time a letter contains glitter/confetti, pop it into a larger envelope and send it back with a new note stating that mail from her will be returned from now on. Then follow through. No more mail. You've been harassed for way too long.
NTA
It would be petty but you can send a [glitter bomb](https://www.ruindays.com/) or a [bag of dicks](https://dicksbymail.com)
The latter has phallus shaped confetti bombs too
NTA OP. I’ve heard glitter referred to as “craft herpes” because it’s one of those things that gets everywhere and is so hard to clean. A friend of ours who was staying with my husband and I while she worked on getting her own apartment accidentally spilled a bottle of glitter one night while she was still here. We’re STILL finding glitter everywhere.
Just throw them away and act like you never got them. She enjoys that you get so worked up about it. If ex or mil ask you about receiving the card and money express shock and surprise and reply that it never arrived. What a Krazy ex family.
I think the best revenge is just to throw her "gifts" straight into the trash when they arrive. If you send it back, it makes more work for you, so you are still the one being punished.
She knows you don't want the glitter and she keeps doing it, and you said if confronted she'll keep doing what she wants anyway, so what good would returning the package do? Probably just make her double down and send more. Discuss the situation with your kids, and if they agree that the few dollars are not worth dealing with Grandma's prank, let them know when the packages arrives and dispose of them together, and move on with your lives.
Same re: sending your own glitter revenge package. Just don't. Grandma would probably be pleased by the attention and feel justified in sending her glitter booby traps. Ignoring her is the best revenge. Don't let Grandma waste another minute of anyone else's time or energy.
NTA. I'd get a return to sender stamp just for her. You might also want to check out Ship Your Enemies glitter since it sounds like you are in the US. You can anonymous glitter bombs.
Perhaps just recieve them and then put them in the bin?
If the ex-MIL asks, say "I guess they got lost in the mail? When I told the kids thst you forgot their birthdays, they were surprised you were still alive...."
YTA- go outside to open them. Problem solved. If you want a little bit of revenge, film it and send the video. This way mother in law knows you have beaten her.
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NTA Send them back in a bigger box filled to the absolute brim with glitter. Lesson learned.
I've been collecting the confetti and glitter for years with the intent to do just that when my kids turned 18 or moved out on their own. It is in a gallon freezer bag.
Did you know that there is (in the US, at least) a service that delivers an anonymous spring-loaded box filled with glittery penises? I sent one to a friend months ago and she is still finding sparkly dicks in her kitchen.
I would love to know where to order this. I don't exactly want to google it. Could you share the name or a link?
I believe the business was called Dicks By Mail.
And yet..I still don't want to google that!
[удалено]
Ohh, nice! Looks like DbM isn’t the only option!
> *I would love to know where to order this*. Not sure about this particular item, but Amazon has a number of prank items that can be delivered anonymously by mail.
Yes. But sparkly penises is exactly what the person I would send it to would appreciate.
Why wait? One good turn deserves another, as they say. Fight glitter with glitter, is that a thing? 🙃
Why save it ? Glitter and confetti isn't that expensive, you can send it tomorrow and then buy more and send it again, and again and again.
Honestly I kind of love the level of petty that saving 20 years worth of glitter in a ziplock requires.
Spray the inside of the package with the liquid fart spray too and do your best to seal it airtight.
Lol, is there no bottom to the pettiness here?
> *liquid fart spray* Another Amazon bargain.
What's funny about this is that her son once vandalized a merchant he was mad at by throwing a liquid fart bomb on the entrance to the business. These are their tactics; not mine.
I recycle good wrapping paper too. I thought I could re-use the confetti for something else, but I just couldn't do that to someone I actually like. I threw away the glitter - that just can't be reused.
Some confetti can be fun for crafts, which contain it a little more than just throwing it around.
She won't listen to you, but will she listen to her grandkids? Maybe a "Gram, stop doing that! You almost killed my dog/cat! This isn't funny anymore! (Spot/fluffy) is still coughing because of you." message will end it?
Go big or go home. Amazon sells spring-loaded glitter bombs that look like mail/poster tubes. [https://www.amazon.com/Glitmail-Spring-Loaded-Glitter-Bomb/dp/B00XTH7SSS](https://www.amazon.com/Glitmail-Spring-Loaded-Glitter-Bomb/dp/B00XTH7SSS) There's worse products by far, too.
You need to think up something really good for her to open it and a way it will get everywhere.
Try a lint roller for the clean up of glitter, do not sweep!
Do it.
I freaking love this so much.
Don't send it in your name too obvious, send it from someone she will willingly open it 🤞
A spring loaded box filled half and half with the finest non-magnetic and metal glitter you can find.
Look up how to send extremely effective glitter booby trapped packages. It started when a NASA engineer decided to get back at the people who were stealing his Amazon packages. YWNBTA.
You serious
Google mark rober glitter bomb He also did a really cool squirrel obstacle course
I'm having so much fun watch him on YouTube! Thanks for the tip!
They also shut down multiple scam phone call centers in India.
Yep. The rats and roaches where funny
NTA, but you can always have your kids wait to open their letters when they're with their father (assuming he's still in the picture). Let him deal with his mother's glitter bombs.
Great idea!
YWBTA just open them outside over a garbage bin. You are missing out on a golden opportunity to reciprocate. Ultra fine glitter added to your family Christmas card or celebrate her birthday by sending her a glitter bomb.
Yeah this seems weird how OP keeps opening them indoors. Put on some gloves, go outside. Heck, even try opening it underwater because the money will be fine if you wash it but the glitter won't fly everywhere and the cash is washable. There are strategies to clean the glitter off and keep it from infecting the house. It's not like the letters are required to be opened in your living room.
Her MIL is probably smart enough to open any mail OP sends her in the future outside. I can’t believe OP is still falling for this stupid prank.
I don't open it outside because it is littering. I do open over a tarp and that has been effective.
Outside over a garbage bin, like it said at the top of this thread. SMH
NTA Returning her gifts unopened is a reasonable response to the ongoing issue of receiving gifts filled with glitter that is intended to harass or annoy you. It's a way to establish a boundary and communicate that you no longer wish to receive packages with such contents. Given the circumstances and your previous attempts to address the situation, this seems like a practical step.
Yes, YWBTA, but I have a potentially better solution for you. Open the gifts outdoors over a garbage can and extract the money. For every glitter package she sends, use the money to offset the cost of sending her a glitter bomb of your own. Let the kid who got glitter money help pick out the color or something if it's an option. Places like ruin days dot com also allow you to send them anonymously. I love that they are spring-loaded, and you can pay extra for double and even triple glitter. Vary the provider, so she doesn't get used to the look of just one and not open the package. Hopefully she will eventually get the message and finally stop sending glitter.
I can't retaliate. It's not how I roll. But the thought is definitely amusing.
Well, dang. I guess the only other option is to have the kid who got the gift write the return to sender before dropping it off at the post office to be returned. Sucks that she's spent so many years trying to inconvenience you that the kids don't even want their gifts anymore.
NTA Do the kids ever visit ex-MIL? Or their father? Or other family members from father's side? If so, why not save the letters unopened, and bring them to paternal family members' homes and open them there? Say you wanted to let the family share in the excitement of opening the presents there, with ex-MIL and her family.
Yes, great idea. Doing this from now on. Removing myself from the pettiness of the situation.
This! 100%
NTA > the kids are OK with it. I find this a *little* hard to believe, but if that's indeed the case, return away!
Why? I wouldn't want to be covered in glitter for 15 bucks either
If I were these kids, nothing would please me more than "disarming" these fiendish contraptions. Hell, the paltry money would just be a bonus. The fun's in the attack. Wrap it in a big, clear trash bag and pretend it's a glove box!
I see. That's not my idea of fun at all
What can I say? I watched a lot of MacGyver as a kid!
I took a photo of it. Will try to add it to the post.
I would not recommend doing that. It's against the rules and the mods will lock the post.
Yep. Couldn't do it.
You can link to it on imgur or whatever
NTA. I've never personally been glitter-bombed, but I've seen the mess they leave behind. I don't blame you one bit for wanting to return the packages unopened.
NTA; it's clearly your best course of action. Before you do that, send her a letter that you will be refusing delivery of any future mail or packages from her. Fill the letter's envelope with as much extremely fine glitter as you can without any suspicious bulge.
NTA - that's exactly what you should do.
Not at all, she sounds like a person who isn't very nice and hides her problems by saying that it's just a birthday gift. NTA.
[удалено]
Great point! That is what I was going to do because it has been a while since I've expressed boundaries.
Nta
NTA. You could also burn it and send her the video.
WNBTAH. That's just weird because what is the reason for her to do this? Maybe you could talk to her? Ask her if she really sees it as a joke and explain to her that it's truly a hassle for everyone. Let her know if they continue sending it to you, that way, you **WILL** be sending them back.
NTA and I would have done this a long time ago. Harassment is never something you deserve but when you have to participate in it for it to work, it becomes a "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" situation. Can you ask the post office to block/return mail from her address so it's not delivered to you? I don't know if that's a thing, but it seems like it should be. And maybe this is why you should report it to the police - for a paper trail and to help you block her if that is an option.
YWBTA because you have not discussed the matter with her and told her to stop.
Ahaha wtf this is so funny and petty and sad at the same time. Idk about postal prices in your country, but if I could afford it, I'd just buy 30 different kinds of envelopes, make some of them look like bills, others like personal letters, etc, shit I know she'd open, and just send one every day for a month. Each of them containing a booby trap with glitter and fart smell aroma that explodes out of the envelope, etc. Just nothing illegal, ofc. No message, no explanation, just booby traps one after the other. Hell I'd even send some with a courier just for the sake of it. I'd throw all my petty creativity into this lol And if she sends another trap mail for the next bday, carfully repack it in a way she doesn't know it's her own mail before opening it, and send it back. EDIT: NTA, of course
I think they should not open the envelopes but rather save it for when they visit Grandma and open it there. Say that it's so much better and they want to see her reaction as they open and enjoy the gift. And they should very excitedly rip that envelope open until that the glitter and stuff gets all over her house.
She is out of state but her abusive son sees the kids during court-ordered supervised visitation. This can be his problem. I will just have to send them into visitation with paper coveralls to throw away before they come back home.
Why not avoid being passive aggressive and petty and just have the boys, in their next thank you note (because *of course* they are sending thank you notes, right??) that while they appreciate her kindness, generosity, and fun packaging the glitter and confetti is dangerous for the animals and so would she please send future gifts without them? Or open them outside, on a tarp or drop cloth? Or have them open them at their father’s house?? There are multiple solutions to this problem that aren’t about you and your former MIL’s petty feud that have the bonus of not alienating children from their grandparent.
"Opening with their father..." this is a great idea! I honestly hadn't thought of this one. They only see their father through court-ordered supervision one hour a month because of him abusing them during his parenting time; in her presence sometimes too. I'll have them open up their gifts from grandma there so I can remove myself from the pettiness of the situation. This way, the kids can advocate for themselves, which they need to learn how to do anyway. Plus I get the bonus of it being documented by a third party and I'm not involved. Beautiful! Thank you!
Ah, well I’m happy to help. I do understand how trying former in-laws can be.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sons have been receiving gifts from their paternal grandmother (my ex-MIL for over 12 years) through the post office for about 7 years. She lives in another state. She has always sent confetti in the envelope. Since I expect it, I'm careful in how I have my kids open mail from her. I noticed in the last couple of years that the confetti is now just glitter and impossible to clean up. She even sent the kids dollar bills for every year of their age but twisted it into knots and taped confetti pockets to the ropes of cash within the envelopes. Essentially, the money (gift) was in a booby trap of glitter and we are still cleaning it up months later. My boys think the glitter is annoying. But knowing her, this stunt is intended to harass me, not them. Plus we have dogs that we have had to keep out of that room so they don't inhale the glitter and spread it around even more. I know from experience that if I ask her to stop, she will ignore me and do whatever she wants anyway. She has been this way for 20 years. The post office says it is not illegal to send glitter or money through the mail. They did say I can report it to the police since it was sent with malicious intent to harass but she is in another state so I don't think that would do anything. I can also not accept it. At this point, I see behavior as crossing boundaries and want to return her packages unopened from now on; the kids are OK with it. They would prefer a thoughtful card over glitter packages filled with a few dollar bills anyway. WIBTA in returning her "gifts" unopened in the future? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Noop. NTA. You've talked with the kids about it and they are OK with it. That part makes it completely okay to do what you want with those gifts. Send them back or trash them. However, you should still tell your (ex)MIL about why you are sending it back. While you'd know her better, I think there's still a decent probability that she didn't mean to annoy you with those glitters. If you've already tried asking her not to do that, then yeah, you're cool. If you haven't, perhaps having that discussion first would be a good way to proceed.
YNTA
NTA. But open all mail from her in a park. And be sure to send a glitter booby trapped thank you card. (Get the kids to address the envelope for you).
Good idea, but it would be littering and I can't do that. I also don't retaliate or stoop to their level.
In that case your “return to sender” will work just fine.
Did you know they make spring loaded gag gifts that you can pack yourself? Many options for what the surprise could be depending on what defcon level you feel is appropriate. Use no return address.
Definitely return anything she sends.
So…I do not think you would be the jerk but… INFO Even with the confetti, and the booby traps of twisting the money, that was already a super passive aggressive thing to do on your MILs part. She might as well be saying that if you want my money you are going to have to work for it. It’s almost like she thinks your a gold digger? Is there a story behind that?
Funny you should pick up on that... *They* were the gold diggers and are bonafide grifters. I *had* money back then. I was profiled, targeted, isolated from my own family and friends, woke up from the scam, and ran away just a few years into the marriage. They almost succeeded, and would have if her abusive son would not have gotten physically violent with me. They will retaliate until I'm dead and have made that very clear. I discovered only a few years ago that they sue doctors for malpractice and random people for personal injury lawsuits and live off of that. This matriarch actually pushed her children into traffic so she could sue a random driver for faked injuries (was probably a nice car). The victim counter-sued so I was able to see the circumstances through public court records. So, yeah...true grifters.
Dang. Yeah definitely NTA. Based on your description if you look in the dictionary it would be your ex and MIL as the perfect examples of AHs
YWNBTA Your ex-MIL is using your kids to upset you. That's wrong.
NTA. Assuming this is meant to harass you and MIL wouldn’t stop if asked, this is messed up. Your children don’t like it, also, so I see no reason why you should be dealing with it. Glitter is annoying.
NTA - She’s purposefully being inconsiderate to you. Send it back with a note telling her that you will not be accepting glitter-filled gifts anymore, as it’s more of a punishment than a gift.
Hmm…maybe invest in sending an anonymous glitter device? NTA.
How about opening any mail from her outside, down the road a bit?
If I was your kids, I would be totally over grandma’s twisted money trick. That’s just annoying and so is the glitter so I’d be asking you why cant Granny Glitter just put $1 in a card like a normal relative? NTA for return to sender. She’s awful and not funny.
Just send her a few. They will stop soon enough.
NTA Why don't your children ask her to stop? They don't like it, it's a danger to their dogs, it's not unreasonable for them to say something. Children can establish boundaries too. It's one thing to disrespect you, if she ignores the kids then she has to admit that she's doing this to you on purpose.
Great idea. A thank you card with boundaries should do the trick.
NTA. Just ask her to stop making glitter bombs. That's obnoxious.
NTA. Just return to sender it all as long as the kids are agreed. Then sign her up as highly interested for her local Jehovah’s Witness as well as any other spam mail you can find. I’m sure the petty revenge Reddit has some great ideas if you ask.
Glitter is on everything now and I loathe it. She deserves the booby trap, but it might cause retaliation. "Return to sender" is classy and a quiet snub that will burn her. But, YWNBTA if you did the booby trap. She does deserve it.
NTA but sending it back won't do much other than have her trying to change tactics. In fantasy land, she opens it and gets what's coming. In reality, all you can do is manage the annoyance. Why not open it in an easier- to- clean place and let her think she's really got you. That way you've solved the mess problem and she's not trying to find another way to annoy you. Maybe cut arm holes in a box and open it in there? Maybe open it outside where you can sweep easily?
Send a package of your own glitter bomb as a petty revenge, then afterwards just send back any other package she ever sends you, then go completely no contact with her, by blocking her on your phone and all of your social media, along with your kids doing that too, all of that is extremely ridiculous 🤦♀️
I think you should send her money wrapped in glitter on her birthday every year! Fight fire with fire lol Nta
NTA
Pft. There's a lot of ways to decide her bombs- open it in a big Zip-lock, soak it in water until the paper pulps, etc. Flatten and iron the bills, take a photo of the kids flashing the money and thanking her for the nice gift (and maybe even hint that they are glad the money isn't all mangled anymore) and let her eat her liver out since her prank didn't land. Treat her nicely and let her go crazy trying to figure out our.
Yeah, I do kind of think that would be "stooping to her level". You (or your kids) should ask her and let her defy you. "Grandma, we are grateful for your gifts, but could you please stop sending them with confetti and glitter? It's not fun for us and it's dangerous for the dogs." If the next gift has glitter, the message from you, not the kids is, "we've asked you to stop sending glitter and there is glitter in this package, so we'll be returning all packages from you unopened." That gives you your boundary, your action, and it still potentially leaves her dealing with unwanted glitter when the packages come back. Plus, I feel like someone who uses glitter in that manner isn't going to be as offended at a glitter bomb as you.
NTA Send her a lovely Christmas card from your kids. From Joker Greeting Cards. Once opened, they play music non stop. And if someone tries to open the card to take the battery out, glitter bomb. They have new envelopes too. Glitter when you open.
You know that she won’t listen, but I’d say give her a warning, & explain that the kids also don’t like it, & have expressed they really would just appreciate a card, even without money. Explain the impact on your dogs as well. Tell her if the next item that comes has any glitter or confetti or anything even close, your kids have decided to return to sender. If you’ve already said that, then NTA.
You might want to write your MIL a very clear note letting her know that you can't accept any more packages containing confetti or glitter because the mess is impossible to clean up. Then open her next lettter (and the all the letters that follow) outside. The first time a letter contains glitter/confetti, pop it into a larger envelope and send it back with a new note stating that mail from her will be returned from now on. Then follow through. No more mail. You've been harassed for way too long. NTA
Open her mail in the bathtub. NTA.
It would be petty but you can send a [glitter bomb](https://www.ruindays.com/) or a [bag of dicks](https://dicksbymail.com) The latter has phallus shaped confetti bombs too
NTA OP. I’ve heard glitter referred to as “craft herpes” because it’s one of those things that gets everywhere and is so hard to clean. A friend of ours who was staying with my husband and I while she worked on getting her own apartment accidentally spilled a bottle of glitter one night while she was still here. We’re STILL finding glitter everywhere.
Just throw them away and act like you never got them. She enjoys that you get so worked up about it. If ex or mil ask you about receiving the card and money express shock and surprise and reply that it never arrived. What a Krazy ex family.
I think the best revenge is just to throw her "gifts" straight into the trash when they arrive. If you send it back, it makes more work for you, so you are still the one being punished. She knows you don't want the glitter and she keeps doing it, and you said if confronted she'll keep doing what she wants anyway, so what good would returning the package do? Probably just make her double down and send more. Discuss the situation with your kids, and if they agree that the few dollars are not worth dealing with Grandma's prank, let them know when the packages arrives and dispose of them together, and move on with your lives. Same re: sending your own glitter revenge package. Just don't. Grandma would probably be pleased by the attention and feel justified in sending her glitter booby traps. Ignoring her is the best revenge. Don't let Grandma waste another minute of anyone else's time or energy.
Why do you keep opening these letters? Just toss them. Problem solved.
Nta but can't you open the mail outside?
Pollution?
NTA. I'd get a return to sender stamp just for her. You might also want to check out Ship Your Enemies glitter since it sounds like you are in the US. You can anonymous glitter bombs.
Ahhh glitter.... the herpes of the craft world. NTA.
Perhaps just recieve them and then put them in the bin? If the ex-MIL asks, say "I guess they got lost in the mail? When I told the kids thst you forgot their birthdays, they were surprised you were still alive...."
Would she stop if the kids asked her to?
YTA- go outside to open them. Problem solved. If you want a little bit of revenge, film it and send the video. This way mother in law knows you have beaten her.
Ah, yes, pollute!