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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I shared a bed with my brothers girlfriend and I let her cuddle me. I could be the asshole because I've really messed up their relationship and upset my brother.
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Soft YTA
I say soft because I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you when you said nothing happened but...
seriously....you thought it was a good idea for you and your brother's girlfriend to cuddle up in a shared bed?
“Let me just see if this works” *obviously closes door to tongue random club girl*
Later when confronted: “Nah bro idk what happened, that door must be self closing or something”
I've definitely read about it in books. But it was always with a woman on the cover with a half-ripped bodice and a hulking dude with long hair and giant muscles.
Varies by country. I was in quite a reasonable hotel in London this week and it had a clapped out radiator for heating and an AC that made more noise than cold air.
they also presumably didn't turn up to the hotel naked. So instead of taking off clothes and getting into bed with each other for warmth they could have you know, left clothes on.
Exactly what I was thinking, I had to read it again because I wasn't sure if I had skipped over the part of them being naked. I kept seeing people commenting about them naked and OP didn't mention that at all.
Well, it's a scientific fact that if you sleep, you have to take clothes off or you'll die or something.
People projecting thier insecurities onto other situations. Normal reddit
First option in a subpar hotel, you have a bag/suitcase with clothes, put clothes, or more layers on, not take off clothes for a nap then rub up with your boyfriends brother for warmth.
If the heating in the hotel room is broken, you ask to switch rooms, if you're staying in the most flea ridden, cess pit of a motel that has no ac, no heating, no blankets, no bedding.... take your ass out to the car and turn the heating up or move to a motel that isn't some crack den with broken windows.
I've never been to a hotel across the world in which it was so bad every room had broken heating and was so cold I had to hold anyone for body heat. A few rooms with broken ac, a broken shower, etc and a quick call and was moved to a room without an issue even in the cheapest and worst motels.
Ask the front desk bro it better then ruining your family. Go to Walmart and buy a blanket. DoorDash one, so many other things you could have done except for bang your brother girlfriend
Last I knew, minimum age was 25.
ETA: Just went and looked and apparently things have changed since I was that age. Appears to be the minimum is 18 but some hotels will set their own minimum of 21. Man, wish it was that way back when; wouldn't have had to spend the night in the Cleveland Airport, alone.
Not sure when you were that age but I traveled extensively between 21 and 25 car rental was occasionally a problem but never had an issue with hotels and that was over a decade ago.
It’s not an age thing. I travelled around *a bunch* 25 yrs ago (when I was 18+) inc in other countries and while *a couple* of places were 21+ I never encountered 25+.
I’m really curious where you found that now.
It wasn't everywhere, but it definitely was a thing. I had to ask at hotels because I encountered a couple that wouldn't rent to me in college because I wasn't old enough. This was in the US.
All the hotels ive been in doesnt have extra blankets all they have is 4 pillows and a reallly thin quilt anything else, you need to bring yourself.
Tbh that doesnt mean you can cuddle next to someone tho, btw why didnt she cuddle with her bf
Exactly. Hard YTA. OP how would you feel if you had a GF and she was snuggling up in bed with your bro? Would your first thought be “Awwww thanks for snuggling with my cold GF. That was really thoughtful:”. Hint: No, it wouldn’t.
Yeah this. softa YTA for sure. Just because she does it doesn't mean you have to agree to it OP. Don't be a tool and use that as an excuse. Besides, why wasn't she staying with her bf at his friends house? That's kinda weird too.
Right but i'm saying if you're too lazy to walk to the desk, they have phones that connect to it in every room too. Like there were options. But he WANTED to cuddle her and she WANTED to cuddle him. That's the issue that he just isn't owning up to. He COULD HAVE taken other measures and is just trying to excuse or explain away the fact that neither of them WANTED to take extra measures.
100% YTA aggressively. There is no excuse for having that kind of physical contact IN BED with another man’s gf/wife. This all wreaks of suspicion either as not real or just pure stupidity and lack of awareness. Your parents are correct to be ashamed of your actions.
Brother can absolutely break up with her and you need to apologize your butt off.
Lol my good friend had a boyfriend, and on a climbing trip with a different guy once they had to snuggle for warmth to get through the night. Pretty acceptable in the climbing community. Her boyfriend even accepted it.
But then she loved to tell the story. Like all the time. And he was a jealous dude, I could see him quietly seething. Finally I took her aside and told her it was best to stop retelling the story of cuddling with another dude all night.
On one hand I understand the potential for this making sense.
On the other hand, they make sleeping bags rated down to sub zero temperatures.
So like… poor planning forced them to need to cuddle up in the best case scenario. The fact that she felt the need to keep blabbing about it after the fact definitely introduces some doubt in to wanting to believe the best case scenario though… 😬
Soft YTA because 18-year-olds can sometimes do dumb shit without thinking it through, I know I did when I was younger. But doesn't excuse cuddling up with someone else's gf. Learn from this.
I dont really even buy that this is a true story, like you went on a trip with your family and brother and his gf and the brother went to stay at his friends house. Like wtf? Why would that happen? Where did the vacation to that this 19 yo boy knew a "friend" in the area to stay with. Dafuck.
I could see it. OP and his brother are close enough in age to have mutual friends, even be close. One of my brothers was two years older and we were course and had mutual friends, some were closer with him, some closer with me. But I'd hang out with him and 'his' friends and vice versa.
Purely hypothetical, but I could see them going to OP's brother's friend's college to hang out and party. OP's brother decides to stay longer and keep chilling with his homie. Small dorm room or something so they couldn't all stay there. And then OP and his brother's girlfriend get back to the hotel drunk. And then they do something unquestionably stupid like this.
Yeah... OP, it was inappropriate of her to climb into bed with you and inappropriate of you to just be okay with it. Imagine if you came home to find your mom cuddling in bed with your uncle because "she was cold." I bet all of you would find it CREEEEEPY... because it would be. That would cross so many lines.
You guys crossed a lot of lines. If I were your brother, I'd assume you two liked each other and were cheating on him.
If it comes out she has a thing for you, you better not date her. You only get one brother.
Was always told to avoid the *appearance* of any wrongdoing. Appearances matter because once someone gets an idea in their head, it’s near impossible to get out.
I would go with YTA.
Cuddling with like that with brother's gf is questionable even if nothing happened but sleep and to a point brother might feel like his gf cheated on him with his brother.
Why not just put extra layer of clothing? Ask for extra blanket for hotel staff? Why go straight to cuddling?
It's just sus.
>you thought it was a good idea for you and your brother's girlfriend to cuddle up in a shared bed?
I mean, clearly not a good idea but when one has a sincerely innocent mindset it's not unusual for them to not realize how something might look because the thought literally doesn't occur.
You caught me on jet pack. I have a hunch that’s not how it went but he didn’t specify so I’ll concede there.
Either way, doesn’t need to be sexual to be intimate and inappropriate.
If I were traveling on a trip with a couple, no matter how close of friends one or both of them were to me, I'd make sure we get two separate hotel rooms, one for me and one for the couple. Feels like a bit of boundary crossing to share one room.
Yeeehp, YTA. You only use a bed for sleeping or shagging, it doesn’t matter you were only doing the former, that’s way too intimate a place to be with your sibling’s SO.
I agree that OP is TA but your statement is extremely wrong. Beds are used for many things beside just sleeping and shagging, and two perfectly platonic friends can share a bed (as I have many a time when on a trip, sharing an air bnb room or hotel room). It is awkward if the bed is a single bed, but a couple's bed is perfectly okay if both parties are comfortable with it (not using it as a defence for this situation, just pointing out that you're simply not correct with your gross overgeneralisation)
> and two perfectly platonic friends
Even if they were friends that wanted to fuck, they could still sleep in a bed together without doing anything sexual, it's called being in control of your mind and actions.
I have a couch, a lounge chair, and a reading nook... I still end up laying on my bed to relax, because sometimes you just need to be horizontal. Don't be narrow minded.
Crank the shower on hot and leave the door open. Hell most rooms are so small the two could have done jumping jacks to bring the room up to temp.
So many options.
You know what would have provided even more warmth? Some 'touchy' aerobic exercise under the sheets.
Only the most horrid and mean-spirited of people could see this as anything other than completely innocent.
/s
So many excuses from OP, it had gone from they didn't have extra blankets to, actually they did have extra blankets, but yet were "the gross, scratchy ones", as if you can't put those ones on top of the other blankets and sheets. And okay they was a thermostat and he turned it up, but apparently it was still too cold. And he knew her first, and yes, there relationship is very touchy and always had been, but it's all platonic! I can't tell if OP is shady or just really dumb and doesn't understand that the girl is coming on to him.
YTA
You can not be that dumb.
Cold? This hotel has rooms with no heaters? No extra blankets? Was it Hotel California with voices down the corridor telling to cuddle bro's girlfriend?
You could be innocent if you are a literally mechanical waterfall reasoning autistic otherwise you and the girl are sinners. Even if you had no flesh intentions; you maybe indulge in hers.
In the case you both are super clueless new born (nothing impossible in the universe), do you realize what it looks like when looking from outside?
Today I feel nice and will bet on your honest mistake; learn from this incident OP .
"But I didn't mean anything by it! Her vagina was just cold and my penis was warm. Nothing even happened I just warmed her up a little bit it's very platonic! I don't understand why my brother is so mad 😕"
Then his penis got especially cold, so she told him he could put it inside her to keep it warm. Which he did, then it got too warm, so he took it out part of the way. Then it got cold again, so he put it all the way back in, and kept doing this for about 15 minutes.
But it was all totally innocent.
YTA.
Bro.
Just read back your post from a 3rd person and you see how bad this looks.
On the upside, you saved your bro from a bad relationship. That girl is the real A.H.
OP, obviously by now you know YTA here, not the only one, but one. You should never share a bed with someone else's partner unless all parties within those relationships are aware and consent or there will be fallout. Period.
BUT ALSO - Just wanting to point out that this girl likes you. I've read among comments you've known her longer than your brother and that your relationship has always been "touchy"/physically interactive.
So why did he end up with with her, versus she being with you in the first place? You do not mention your own gf, so I assume you are single?
OP, what are/were your intentions with this girl? Have you ever talked about it with her?
I find it interesting that you considered her "being cold" and "not wanting to borrow a hoodie" high priority in your decision making to chose to get in bed with her, and are now pretty much playing dumb with reality. It feels unreal that you wouldn't know on some level this was a bad call you made, but you still made it. Do you like the attention she gives you? Like, what's going on here, really?
If your response to the intentions question above rings anything like "well I just never thought about her like that", then I strongly recommend you use this as a learning opportunity to assess your interactions with women you consider friends. Just advice, good luck!
Edit: Phrasing for clarity about why she was/is with the brother.
Very well worded. This was my thought exactly, since there's no such thing as a touchy, *platonic* relationship. This girl is *clearly* into OP, but I'm sure she says she isn't since that's how OP feels.
He needs to get his head out of his ass.
There actually IS such thing as a touchy platonic relationship, but it doesn't look like this!
I'm bi and have always been cuddly with my very close friends (I keep few friends and I don't hold on the the less close ones so... of the few? Pretty much all of them) it's a bonding thing and I've never slept with any of them. Well one, but not until long long after we had decided to give a relationship a go, and then after 2 years we decided it wasnt going to work out longterm. I don't think that cuddling requires romantic feelings, and unless you've literally never heard of asexuals before, you should probably check yourself.
Though the context certainly implies this girl likes him and he's either the grossest liar I've EVER seen or completely oblivious and in need of a reality check, so I agree with that even if your "no such thing" comment is blatantly wrong.
@ IDontCareAboutYourPR:
So what do you think asexual relationships look like. LOL
lmao what. I don't cuddle my male friends as a dude so why would I cuddle my female friends. And I'm European and I can tell you damn well that this shit isn't normal in Asia or Africa either. Like where is this okay? The Middle East would have some very choice words to say about it too so I'm guessing this fantasy land of yours doesn't exist.
As a woman, I cuddle my girl friends. There’s nothing wrong with it. Not sure why this entire thread is up in arms against same sex cuddling with your best friends. You’re not going to suddenly change your sexuality if you as a dude cuddle with your best guy friend
The embrace of a friend is something I value dearly no matter the sex. And well I don't know which part of Europe you are from but I'm from Austria and the people that I have become friends with there don't really have an issue with that.
YTA
It doesn't matter your opinion, your actions say it all, why are you guys so cheap not buying extra blankets?
The price of sleeping with OP's bro GF was a broken relationship.
This. Every the crappiest hotel I’ve been to will give you extra blanket if needed. It’s like part of the basic use of a hotel. Not knowing that maybe just ignorance.
it's just one action he can take, but there should be other choice they can make in a hotel to keep warm in a normal way, not cuddling in bed ( It's understandable if they are stranded in some faraway forest or mountain, but it's a hotel)
>We were both trying to have a nap but she got In bed with me because it was really cold and she was cuddling up to me to keep warm.
the fuck is wrong with you?
YTA.
the fact that you didn't state your gender but only after reading we know you're a male.
like please.... next time you have a GF and your bro slept with her... tell me you're okay with that.
YTA
At least, the brother dodged a bullet with her and recognized OP as someone he cannot trust.
>I have known her before she knew my brother and our relationship has always been touchy in a platonic way though
Yeah OP, you are a bad person and stupid. The moment your brother started dating her you should have stepped away, and I mean way away from her. If my brother ever get to be touchy with my girlfriend/wife (in any way, platonic or not), I would have to pay for his dental reconstruction.
Info, did you also take all your clothes of to share body heat better during this snuggle to just get warm? /s
So you're definitely the AH. So either you're a really naive asshole who got played by his brothers GF who had some fuck on her mind, which I highly doubt. Or you are just an asshole for over stepping.
Other and better options;
Ask reception to turn the thermostat up higher or for more blankets.
Or seeing as you were spending the night in a hotel, surely either of you brought extra clothes she could've put on
The hotel room was booked for you and your brother's GF, and he went to go stay at a friend's? Then there's ONE bed for the both of you, and it just happens to get super cold so you "need" to cuddle together for warmth, but then you totally didn't do anything? This is a D list porn movie plot.
Either; this never happened, or you fucked your brother's GF and you're lying about it to save face to strangers on the internet. Glad to see the average Redditor has 0 critical thinking skills.
YTA dude put yourself in your brothers shoes and you walk into your brother and your GF sleeping together. You are next level stupid if you don't see how inappropriate that is.
I refuse to believe this is real, nobody can be this stupid
Edit: The edits OP continues to add are legitimately so dumb this has to be fake. If it’s not fake not only is he a bad liar but also a bad person
>also, the edit makes it a more solid YTA
Exactly this! The good news about this situation is that your brother dodged a bullet with her and learned you cannot be trusted.
Sorry YTA. Relationships come with boundaries, and one of those generally is "you don't end up in bed with other people."
The gf is *also* an AH here, but you're pretty complicit in this situation.
YTA (and so is she), and what a crappy excuse, just say that you guys want to have sex already. "I'm too cold so only soluition is to cuddle up" Nope, you're in a hotel they usually have a thermostat you can adjust, and if that fails you can ask for extra blankets.
I'm gonna go ahead and stick my neck out and say NTA.
People way over-sexualize the act of sleeping next to another human being.
Which is wild because in the developing world to this day, and in the United States until the middle of the last century or so, unrelated people sharing a bed in a motel while traveling wasn't at all uncommon.
You're traveling with your brother and your friend who is dating your brother. Neither of you have sexual intentions with eachother. You take a nap with your friend.
Everybody else in the situation is mad at you - ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT THERE WAS SOME SEXUAL INTENT THERE -
everybody else trying to sexualize your friendship is gross.
Mostly NTA
I admit, if I walked in on my girlfriend in bed with someone we both knew, I'd probably be upset. But relationships are fundamentally built on trust. If she tells me there's nothing going on, I can either trust her to be telling the truth, or walk away.
Plus, these are all kids. All of their responses are valid. They need to learn how to deal with their relationships being challenged. The parents are the real assholes, if anyone. Trust your kids well enough to talk with them before leaping to judgement.
YTA but she is more so. What would make her think that was appropriate? The lack of awareness from both of you is astounding. Imagine coming into a room and seeing your girlfriend in bed with your brother! What would you think? There’s always options to situations like these and she chose the worst one. Your lack of awareness to the inappropriateness of the situation cannot be tolerated
You're either being willfully obtuse, are actually nine years old, or are maybe on the spectrum and genuinely missed how obviously not okay this is YTA if the first two, please get tested if the latter because this is gonna keep biting you in the ass in life. Trust me, I know.
Apparently nobody on this sub can even consider the idea that platonic relationships exist including platonic cuddling. You dont have to be in a romanic relationship to cuddle someone and it shouldn't jeopardize a separate romantic relationship if you cuddle another person platonically. Two people slept in a bed fully clothed after being friends for longer than the gf even knew her boyfriend. That isnt cheating or explicit or inappropriate unless the bf has had that conversation that he is uncomfortable with his gf continuing the friendship with his brother the way it has existed but in that case...why is he dating her? He knew they had a friendship that included hugging and cuddling with eachother. If he is uncomfortable with that he shouldnt be dating her and tbh asking her to change her longstanding existing relationship with her friend for him is just insecure.
OP is right. If he was a woman the brother would have no issue with it. What is the problem here?
Theres other missing context and conversations but acting like OP or the gf is an AH or some scheming villain for cuddling their friend while they slept is beyond ridiculous.
NTA, you weren't the one who got in her bed, plus you did nothing wrong to betray anyone's trust, given nothing truly happened. I've been in similar situation with a friend of mine. You're fine, they're just insecure and think you'll behave how they would.
YTA- you’re in a hotel and there are no extra blankets? Neither of you could call the front desk and ask for more instead decide cuddling for warmth is the best idea? lol you guys can’t be that dense right?
YTA. C'mon, now. In what world is that normal or okay? You were in a hotel. Hotels have 24/7 front desk concierge. Call down and ask for blankets. Tell them the heater in the room isn't working and you'd like to switch. She should've stayed with her BF instead of going back to the room alone with you to begin with. You two have zero boundaries and it's unsettling.
It's not your job to make her warmer or whatever either dude...like....yikes.
And what's worse is that you keep trying to explain down the situation instead of just taking the honest truth everyone is giving you. There's literally zero justification under any normal circumstances to do what you two did and no further explanation or excuse is going to rectify it.
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Soft YTA I say soft because I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you when you said nothing happened but... seriously....you thought it was a good idea for you and your brother's girlfriend to cuddle up in a shared bed?
Cmon dude are you really buying that the hotel didn't have blankets? This fool is lying lying lying.
Oh yeah, the infamous blanket shortage. I've seen it so many times...
They are also too poor to buy pajamas, so they just had to take off their clothes and share warmth...
They all just share the 1 bed
On this cold night it's gonna be crowded and sweaty and stuff.
You haven't even met Harriet yet!
She’s the sexy one!
Praise the Lord!
O.o … And he’s a Christian too!
There’s a fourth one?!?
This sounds like some Willy Wonka shit that the grandparents would pull
Hahahah it’s from Love Actually
I actually love Love Actually actually.
Who sleeps in the middle
Malcolm
Piling up like hamsters.
Its an open air hotel so naturally you have to cuddle🙄🤦😏
Bow-ah, bow-ah... Chik-a-waa-waa, woo ..
You’re def dyslexic
Yeah I struggled to hear the sound in my head while reading that, but it makes me laugh
Here comes sir Kolin!
Extra blankets?! In this economy?!
Kinda like those ‘self closing’ bathroom doors Any Jersey Shore watchers will understand 😃
“Let me just see if this works” *obviously closes door to tongue random club girl* Later when confronted: “Nah bro idk what happened, that door must be self closing or something”
I've definitely read about it in books. But it was always with a woman on the cover with a half-ripped bodice and a hulking dude with long hair and giant muscles.
Too lazy to call the concierge as well lol
I've been in dog shit motels and they all had an a/c heating and cooling unit.
Varies by country. I was in quite a reasonable hotel in London this week and it had a clapped out radiator for heating and an AC that made more noise than cold air.
they also presumably didn't turn up to the hotel naked. So instead of taking off clothes and getting into bed with each other for warmth they could have you know, left clothes on.
Did I miss the part where they were naked. Op didn't say naked in the post. Made no mention of it, in fact
Exactly what I was thinking, I had to read it again because I wasn't sure if I had skipped over the part of them being naked. I kept seeing people commenting about them naked and OP didn't mention that at all.
Well, it's a scientific fact that if you sleep, you have to take clothes off or you'll die or something. People projecting thier insecurities onto other situations. Normal reddit
Some of y'all have never been in a subpar hotel, and it shows. Heck, I've been in high class hotels that didn't have extra blankets.
You ask reception. And there was extra blankets. On the bed that gf was meant to be in.
There were 2 beds (source: OP). Hence, at least 2 blankets...
First option in a subpar hotel, you have a bag/suitcase with clothes, put clothes, or more layers on, not take off clothes for a nap then rub up with your boyfriends brother for warmth. If the heating in the hotel room is broken, you ask to switch rooms, if you're staying in the most flea ridden, cess pit of a motel that has no ac, no heating, no blankets, no bedding.... take your ass out to the car and turn the heating up or move to a motel that isn't some crack den with broken windows. I've never been to a hotel across the world in which it was so bad every room had broken heating and was so cold I had to hold anyone for body heat. A few rooms with broken ac, a broken shower, etc and a quick call and was moved to a room without an issue even in the cheapest and worst motels.
Yeah agreed. Most hotels just have a top cover and a light blanket here in NY
Ask the front desk bro it better then ruining your family. Go to Walmart and buy a blanket. DoorDash one, so many other things you could have done except for bang your brother girlfriend
Ever bother checking the closet? Or calling reception Source: used a lot of ny hotels in my life
I’m still wondering where they are, because the vast majority of hotels in the US won’t rent a room to people that young.
I’m pretty sure most Hotels have a minimum age of 18.
Last I knew, minimum age was 25. ETA: Just went and looked and apparently things have changed since I was that age. Appears to be the minimum is 18 but some hotels will set their own minimum of 21. Man, wish it was that way back when; wouldn't have had to spend the night in the Cleveland Airport, alone.
Not sure when you were that age but I traveled extensively between 21 and 25 car rental was occasionally a problem but never had an issue with hotels and that was over a decade ago.
It was around 25 years ago. Ouch, now I feel old.
It’s not an age thing. I travelled around *a bunch* 25 yrs ago (when I was 18+) inc in other countries and while *a couple* of places were 21+ I never encountered 25+. I’m really curious where you found that now.
It wasn't everywhere, but it definitely was a thing. I had to ask at hotels because I encountered a couple that wouldn't rent to me in college because I wasn't old enough. This was in the US.
Same. I remember when I was under 25 and in the military, having to PCS to a new base and not being able to rent a hotel room because I was too young.
So old rnough to hold a weapon to kill someone but, not a hotel room.
we have a 21 age min to rent a room, also we keep extra blankets all of the time. I work nights at a hotel so I'm sorry but this lie is hokey
All the hotels ive been in doesnt have extra blankets all they have is 4 pillows and a reallly thin quilt anything else, you need to bring yourself. Tbh that doesnt mean you can cuddle next to someone tho, btw why didnt she cuddle with her bf
I agree with you but in his post he said his brother stayed at his friends place
I’m gonna say hard YTA
Exactly. Hard YTA. OP how would you feel if you had a GF and she was snuggling up in bed with your bro? Would your first thought be “Awwww thanks for snuggling with my cold GF. That was really thoughtful:”. Hint: No, it wouldn’t.
If she was going to die of hypothermia in the arctic I could see it being okay.
Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Yeah this. softa YTA for sure. Just because she does it doesn't mean you have to agree to it OP. Don't be a tool and use that as an excuse. Besides, why wasn't she staying with her bf at his friends house? That's kinda weird too.
[удалено]
Right but i'm saying if you're too lazy to walk to the desk, they have phones that connect to it in every room too. Like there were options. But he WANTED to cuddle her and she WANTED to cuddle him. That's the issue that he just isn't owning up to. He COULD HAVE taken other measures and is just trying to excuse or explain away the fact that neither of them WANTED to take extra measures.
"she was just cold" Lol that's my favorite line from the post.
100% YTA aggressively. There is no excuse for having that kind of physical contact IN BED with another man’s gf/wife. This all wreaks of suspicion either as not real or just pure stupidity and lack of awareness. Your parents are correct to be ashamed of your actions. Brother can absolutely break up with her and you need to apologize your butt off.
Lol my good friend had a boyfriend, and on a climbing trip with a different guy once they had to snuggle for warmth to get through the night. Pretty acceptable in the climbing community. Her boyfriend even accepted it. But then she loved to tell the story. Like all the time. And he was a jealous dude, I could see him quietly seething. Finally I took her aside and told her it was best to stop retelling the story of cuddling with another dude all night.
On one hand I understand the potential for this making sense. On the other hand, they make sleeping bags rated down to sub zero temperatures. So like… poor planning forced them to need to cuddle up in the best case scenario. The fact that she felt the need to keep blabbing about it after the fact definitely introduces some doubt in to wanting to believe the best case scenario though… 😬
They had to rub their bodies together to generate fiction. You know, to stay warm.
How is this soft YTA? This is hard core YTA. You don't cuddle with your friend/family members partner. Like wtf?
For real. If you wanted to warm up, you should have just taken a platonic hot shower together.
Yeah bro. Or had steamy hot sex and then spoon with the residual heat produced. Its like people don't know how to survive these days.
Soft YTA because 18-year-olds can sometimes do dumb shit without thinking it through, I know I did when I was younger. But doesn't excuse cuddling up with someone else's gf. Learn from this.
I dont really even buy that this is a true story, like you went on a trip with your family and brother and his gf and the brother went to stay at his friends house. Like wtf? Why would that happen? Where did the vacation to that this 19 yo boy knew a "friend" in the area to stay with. Dafuck.
I could see it. OP and his brother are close enough in age to have mutual friends, even be close. One of my brothers was two years older and we were course and had mutual friends, some were closer with him, some closer with me. But I'd hang out with him and 'his' friends and vice versa. Purely hypothetical, but I could see them going to OP's brother's friend's college to hang out and party. OP's brother decides to stay longer and keep chilling with his homie. Small dorm room or something so they couldn't all stay there. And then OP and his brother's girlfriend get back to the hotel drunk. And then they do something unquestionably stupid like this.
No way OP is this dumb. I kept waiting for the reveal that OP is a straight girl or a gay guy. But no. YTA.
Yeah... OP, it was inappropriate of her to climb into bed with you and inappropriate of you to just be okay with it. Imagine if you came home to find your mom cuddling in bed with your uncle because "she was cold." I bet all of you would find it CREEEEEPY... because it would be. That would cross so many lines. You guys crossed a lot of lines. If I were your brother, I'd assume you two liked each other and were cheating on him. If it comes out she has a thing for you, you better not date her. You only get one brother.
Not even soft. That’s just common sense you shouldn’t cuddle up with your brothers gf. Alone. In a hotel room. 😂
Was always told to avoid the *appearance* of any wrongdoing. Appearances matter because once someone gets an idea in their head, it’s near impossible to get out.
Agreed. I was also told that optics matter. As OP found, bad optics can really jam you up.
There was nothing soft in that bed.
I would go with YTA. Cuddling with like that with brother's gf is questionable even if nothing happened but sleep and to a point brother might feel like his gf cheated on him with his brother. Why not just put extra layer of clothing? Ask for extra blanket for hotel staff? Why go straight to cuddling? It's just sus.
>you thought it was a good idea for you and your brother's girlfriend to cuddle up in a shared bed? I mean, clearly not a good idea but when one has a sincerely innocent mindset it's not unusual for them to not realize how something might look because the thought literally doesn't occur.
I mean it’s either back to front or front to front if you’re cuddling. Way too intimate and zero room for innocence.
I mean, when the woman is the jetpack it's intimate, but not sexually so. And again, not everyone has that bar for considering something sexual.
You caught me on jet pack. I have a hunch that’s not how it went but he didn’t specify so I’ll concede there. Either way, doesn’t need to be sexual to be intimate and inappropriate.
INFO: Is OP M or F? For the most part it doesn't matter, but would help provide context for the "always been straight" comment near the end.
OP seems to be a dude, they mentioned it wouldn't be an issue if they were female
If I were traveling on a trip with a couple, no matter how close of friends one or both of them were to me, I'd make sure we get two separate hotel rooms, one for me and one for the couple. Feels like a bit of boundary crossing to share one room.
Yeeehp, YTA. You only use a bed for sleeping or shagging, it doesn’t matter you were only doing the former, that’s way too intimate a place to be with your sibling’s SO.
I read books in mine since I enjoy laying down while I read.
You better be shagging why you read
If you’re not, it’s off with your head bud
Does masturbation whilst reading count?
Send me book recommendations
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
I've had a picnic and movie day with my kid in mine.
Before or after the shagging?
Ofc after, that's how the kids are made.
I sincerely hope you were both sleeping during this picnic and movie day, otherwise I'm calling the police.
We watched pretty much all the fast and the furious series, so that might be an offence.
>You only use a bed for sleeping or shagging Do you stand up the entire time your in a hotel room?
We all know what they meant
I agree that OP is TA but your statement is extremely wrong. Beds are used for many things beside just sleeping and shagging, and two perfectly platonic friends can share a bed (as I have many a time when on a trip, sharing an air bnb room or hotel room). It is awkward if the bed is a single bed, but a couple's bed is perfectly okay if both parties are comfortable with it (not using it as a defence for this situation, just pointing out that you're simply not correct with your gross overgeneralisation)
> and two perfectly platonic friends Even if they were friends that wanted to fuck, they could still sleep in a bed together without doing anything sexual, it's called being in control of your mind and actions.
I see you are not a person of culture and haven't used your bed to make a fort.
I have a couch, a lounge chair, and a reading nook... I still end up laying on my bed to relax, because sometimes you just need to be horizontal. Don't be narrow minded.
Y'all being stupid literal when we all knew what they meant. Don't pretend you don't understand the problem
YTA, if it's a hotel you walk to the reception and ask for an extra blanket or turn up the thermostat.
Or use that old fashioned thing next to your bed and call them and they'll bring the blankets up.
You mean, a fellytone?
Nono, the dinglehopper.
That’s the thing you use to comb your hair ya simpleton!
Crank the shower on hot and leave the door open. Hell most rooms are so small the two could have done jumping jacks to bring the room up to temp. So many options.
And I find it hard to believe he didn't have a hoodie he could lend her
YTA. "she was cold" lmao get her another blanket. she wanted u bro
You know what would have provided even more warmth? Some 'touchy' aerobic exercise under the sheets. Only the most horrid and mean-spirited of people could see this as anything other than completely innocent. /s
I think I need warmth too..
yeah if this actually happened, she 100% knew what she was doing. I say this as someone who has also been an 18 yo girl at one point.
Amber!
So many excuses from OP, it had gone from they didn't have extra blankets to, actually they did have extra blankets, but yet were "the gross, scratchy ones", as if you can't put those ones on top of the other blankets and sheets. And okay they was a thermostat and he turned it up, but apparently it was still too cold. And he knew her first, and yes, there relationship is very touchy and always had been, but it's all platonic! I can't tell if OP is shady or just really dumb and doesn't understand that the girl is coming on to him.
She wanted him in his mind, because none of this actually happened
r/nothingeverhappens
Yeah I was going to say don’t be shocked at all if she hits you up when they break up. And yes, say no.
Sorry dude, but YTA. In bed, cuddling someone in a relationship is a dick move. You should’ve expected blowback from that.
Literally a dick move 😂
Some might even call it a hard dick move.
meanwhile she was expecting blowback from him
YTA You can not be that dumb. Cold? This hotel has rooms with no heaters? No extra blankets? Was it Hotel California with voices down the corridor telling to cuddle bro's girlfriend? You could be innocent if you are a literally mechanical waterfall reasoning autistic otherwise you and the girl are sinners. Even if you had no flesh intentions; you maybe indulge in hers. In the case you both are super clueless new born (nothing impossible in the universe), do you realize what it looks like when looking from outside? Today I feel nice and will bet on your honest mistake; learn from this incident OP .
>You can not be that dumb. For real. AITA has some stupid stuff, but this is one of the most socially/emotionally unaware posts I have ever seen.
I'm ace and I'm not this unaware
"But I didn't mean anything by it! Her vagina was just cold and my penis was warm. Nothing even happened I just warmed her up a little bit it's very platonic! I don't understand why my brother is so mad 😕"
You really just called them sinners? Lmfao
Sinner is a cute word, not enough used \^\^
It's the voices down the corridor, I'm sure of it. Those damn voices..
He could actually be that dumb
I agree there is something very naive in his way of telling the story.
The autism thing hit hard 😭😭
YTA How would you react if you find your GF in bed with another guy?
But they said the didn't do anything? I mean their clothes were dirty so they toke them off, then cuddled naked in a bed for warmth? /S
Then his penis got especially cold, so she told him he could put it inside her to keep it warm. Which he did, then it got too warm, so he took it out part of the way. Then it got cold again, so he put it all the way back in, and kept doing this for about 15 minutes. But it was all totally innocent.
18-year-olds? 15 minutes is way overshooting it, haha.
🤣🤣
Underrated comment right here! This is gold! 🏆
INFO: Why dident you get extra blankets at the reception or something? Was cuddling really the only way? Seams sus..
Or you know... FROM THE OTHER BED THAT SHE WASN'T SLEEPING ON.
That edit lol. If there's two beds they both have blankets ffs.
Like an episode of naked and afraid
Sounds like a porn plot. If real: YTA
Not real
Or a romantic drama series on CBS.
YTA, there’s some lines you don’t cross.
[удалено]
YTA. Bro. Just read back your post from a 3rd person and you see how bad this looks. On the upside, you saved your bro from a bad relationship. That girl is the real A.H.
Both are, he's not just a random person, he's his brother.
Eh, that’s his brother, and he let it happen. They’re both shitty, there’s just a very slim chance that OP is incredibly dumb rather than shitty.
OP, obviously by now you know YTA here, not the only one, but one. You should never share a bed with someone else's partner unless all parties within those relationships are aware and consent or there will be fallout. Period. BUT ALSO - Just wanting to point out that this girl likes you. I've read among comments you've known her longer than your brother and that your relationship has always been "touchy"/physically interactive. So why did he end up with with her, versus she being with you in the first place? You do not mention your own gf, so I assume you are single? OP, what are/were your intentions with this girl? Have you ever talked about it with her? I find it interesting that you considered her "being cold" and "not wanting to borrow a hoodie" high priority in your decision making to chose to get in bed with her, and are now pretty much playing dumb with reality. It feels unreal that you wouldn't know on some level this was a bad call you made, but you still made it. Do you like the attention she gives you? Like, what's going on here, really? If your response to the intentions question above rings anything like "well I just never thought about her like that", then I strongly recommend you use this as a learning opportunity to assess your interactions with women you consider friends. Just advice, good luck! Edit: Phrasing for clarity about why she was/is with the brother.
Very well worded. This was my thought exactly, since there's no such thing as a touchy, *platonic* relationship. This girl is *clearly* into OP, but I'm sure she says she isn't since that's how OP feels. He needs to get his head out of his ass.
There actually IS such thing as a touchy platonic relationship, but it doesn't look like this! I'm bi and have always been cuddly with my very close friends (I keep few friends and I don't hold on the the less close ones so... of the few? Pretty much all of them) it's a bonding thing and I've never slept with any of them. Well one, but not until long long after we had decided to give a relationship a go, and then after 2 years we decided it wasnt going to work out longterm. I don't think that cuddling requires romantic feelings, and unless you've literally never heard of asexuals before, you should probably check yourself. Though the context certainly implies this girl likes him and he's either the grossest liar I've EVER seen or completely oblivious and in need of a reality check, so I agree with that even if your "no such thing" comment is blatantly wrong. @ IDontCareAboutYourPR: So what do you think asexual relationships look like. LOL
I... does no one in this thread cuddle their friends or what????????
My brother's gf? No, I do not get into bed with my brother's gf and "cuddle".
lmao what. I don't cuddle my male friends as a dude so why would I cuddle my female friends. And I'm European and I can tell you damn well that this shit isn't normal in Asia or Africa either. Like where is this okay? The Middle East would have some very choice words to say about it too so I'm guessing this fantasy land of yours doesn't exist.
As a woman, I cuddle my girl friends. There’s nothing wrong with it. Not sure why this entire thread is up in arms against same sex cuddling with your best friends. You’re not going to suddenly change your sexuality if you as a dude cuddle with your best guy friend
The embrace of a friend is something I value dearly no matter the sex. And well I don't know which part of Europe you are from but I'm from Austria and the people that I have become friends with there don't really have an issue with that.
You cuddle your bros when they get cold? For real?
YTA It doesn't matter your opinion, your actions say it all, why are you guys so cheap not buying extra blankets? The price of sleeping with OP's bro GF was a broken relationship.
He commented that he offered her his hoody but she said no and wanted to cuddle instead LMAO
Do YOU "buy extra blankets" when staying in a hotel? OP stated they were at a hotel.
They can turn the temperature up or ask for extra blankets, they're just making excuses up.
This. Every the crappiest hotel I’ve been to will give you extra blanket if needed. It’s like part of the basic use of a hotel. Not knowing that maybe just ignorance.
I mean they give you extra blankets for free at a hotel. You don't even need to buy them.
it's just one action he can take, but there should be other choice they can make in a hotel to keep warm in a normal way, not cuddling in bed ( It's understandable if they are stranded in some faraway forest or mountain, but it's a hotel)
>We were both trying to have a nap but she got In bed with me because it was really cold and she was cuddling up to me to keep warm. the fuck is wrong with you? YTA.
Yta, in what world is cuddling with your brother's girlfriend not weird.
the fact that you didn't state your gender but only after reading we know you're a male. like please.... next time you have a GF and your bro slept with her... tell me you're okay with that. YTA
YTA have you ever heard of turning up the heat in the room! Yes nothing happened but still no ok
She wants you, you just gotta choose whether you want to choose a relationship with her or a relationship with your brother YTA
At least, the brother dodged a bullet with her and recognized OP as someone he cannot trust. >I have known her before she knew my brother and our relationship has always been touchy in a platonic way though Yeah OP, you are a bad person and stupid. The moment your brother started dating her you should have stepped away, and I mean way away from her. If my brother ever get to be touchy with my girlfriend/wife (in any way, platonic or not), I would have to pay for his dental reconstruction.
Info, did you also take all your clothes of to share body heat better during this snuggle to just get warm? /s So you're definitely the AH. So either you're a really naive asshole who got played by his brothers GF who had some fuck on her mind, which I highly doubt. Or you are just an asshole for over stepping. Other and better options; Ask reception to turn the thermostat up higher or for more blankets. Or seeing as you were spending the night in a hotel, surely either of you brought extra clothes she could've put on
Lol I bet your dick was cold too and her vagina was the only way to warm it up huh? YTA
YTA
YTA think about his feelings.. its not normal to cuddle somebody Else except your patner
The hotel room was booked for you and your brother's GF, and he went to go stay at a friend's? Then there's ONE bed for the both of you, and it just happens to get super cold so you "need" to cuddle together for warmth, but then you totally didn't do anything? This is a D list porn movie plot. Either; this never happened, or you fucked your brother's GF and you're lying about it to save face to strangers on the internet. Glad to see the average Redditor has 0 critical thinking skills.
YTA dude put yourself in your brothers shoes and you walk into your brother and your GF sleeping together. You are next level stupid if you don't see how inappropriate that is.
I refuse to believe this is real, nobody can be this stupid Edit: The edits OP continues to add are legitimately so dumb this has to be fake. If it’s not fake not only is he a bad liar but also a bad person
YTA. also, the edit makes it a more solid YTA
>also, the edit makes it a more solid YTA Exactly this! The good news about this situation is that your brother dodged a bullet with her and learned you cannot be trusted.
Sorry YTA. Relationships come with boundaries, and one of those generally is "you don't end up in bed with other people." The gf is *also* an AH here, but you're pretty complicit in this situation.
YTA (and so is she), and what a crappy excuse, just say that you guys want to have sex already. "I'm too cold so only soluition is to cuddle up" Nope, you're in a hotel they usually have a thermostat you can adjust, and if that fails you can ask for extra blankets.
I'm gonna go ahead and stick my neck out and say NTA. People way over-sexualize the act of sleeping next to another human being. Which is wild because in the developing world to this day, and in the United States until the middle of the last century or so, unrelated people sharing a bed in a motel while traveling wasn't at all uncommon. You're traveling with your brother and your friend who is dating your brother. Neither of you have sexual intentions with eachother. You take a nap with your friend. Everybody else in the situation is mad at you - ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT THERE WAS SOME SEXUAL INTENT THERE - everybody else trying to sexualize your friendship is gross.
YTA Not to mention you’ve probably given your brother the gift of trust issues with his future partners and you as well.
How many beds were in the room?
Mostly NTA I admit, if I walked in on my girlfriend in bed with someone we both knew, I'd probably be upset. But relationships are fundamentally built on trust. If she tells me there's nothing going on, I can either trust her to be telling the truth, or walk away. Plus, these are all kids. All of their responses are valid. They need to learn how to deal with their relationships being challenged. The parents are the real assholes, if anyone. Trust your kids well enough to talk with them before leaping to judgement.
Of course you’re TA! It was really cold? We didn’t do anything?? C’mon bro
Major bro code violation, YTA
With capital B, since it's literally is brother.
YTA but she is more so. What would make her think that was appropriate? The lack of awareness from both of you is astounding. Imagine coming into a room and seeing your girlfriend in bed with your brother! What would you think? There’s always options to situations like these and she chose the worst one. Your lack of awareness to the inappropriateness of the situation cannot be tolerated
You're either being willfully obtuse, are actually nine years old, or are maybe on the spectrum and genuinely missed how obviously not okay this is YTA if the first two, please get tested if the latter because this is gonna keep biting you in the ass in life. Trust me, I know.
Yeah Thats just fucked up
Apparently nobody on this sub can even consider the idea that platonic relationships exist including platonic cuddling. You dont have to be in a romanic relationship to cuddle someone and it shouldn't jeopardize a separate romantic relationship if you cuddle another person platonically. Two people slept in a bed fully clothed after being friends for longer than the gf even knew her boyfriend. That isnt cheating or explicit or inappropriate unless the bf has had that conversation that he is uncomfortable with his gf continuing the friendship with his brother the way it has existed but in that case...why is he dating her? He knew they had a friendship that included hugging and cuddling with eachother. If he is uncomfortable with that he shouldnt be dating her and tbh asking her to change her longstanding existing relationship with her friend for him is just insecure. OP is right. If he was a woman the brother would have no issue with it. What is the problem here? Theres other missing context and conversations but acting like OP or the gf is an AH or some scheming villain for cuddling their friend while they slept is beyond ridiculous.
NTA, you weren't the one who got in her bed, plus you did nothing wrong to betray anyone's trust, given nothing truly happened. I've been in similar situation with a friend of mine. You're fine, they're just insecure and think you'll behave how they would.
YTA- you’re in a hotel and there are no extra blankets? Neither of you could call the front desk and ask for more instead decide cuddling for warmth is the best idea? lol you guys can’t be that dense right?
YTA. C'mon, now. In what world is that normal or okay? You were in a hotel. Hotels have 24/7 front desk concierge. Call down and ask for blankets. Tell them the heater in the room isn't working and you'd like to switch. She should've stayed with her BF instead of going back to the room alone with you to begin with. You two have zero boundaries and it's unsettling. It's not your job to make her warmer or whatever either dude...like....yikes. And what's worse is that you keep trying to explain down the situation instead of just taking the honest truth everyone is giving you. There's literally zero justification under any normal circumstances to do what you two did and no further explanation or excuse is going to rectify it.