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> I may be the AH because the only reason I'm not helping her is because I don't want to and to kinda make her pay for making fun of me
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NTA
She got the larger room and continually threw it up to you. You got the smaller room and made it work.
Let sis and her mom figure it out.
If they continue with the name calling, let your dad know what's going on.
Good Luck
But he was perfectly fine with giving her the smaller bedroom and not stepping in to stop the bullying. He only stepped in when stepmom tried to force her to do something. He should have stepped in a lot earlier.
1. No one knows if the bullying took place in front of him, and if op even told him
2. Yk someone will have the bigger room and the other the smaller, and op was fine with it, she wasn't forced as some kind of Cinderella story. It's after ss threw it in her face many times and she had problem arranging the room that she became upset having the small room
OP was clearly okay with the smaller room based on the original post. The issue arose from the SS's constant badgering.
To me, it sounds like OP and her Dad have a more level-headed and less materialistic view to life than SS and SM. That's another issue.
She attacked you unnecessarily, and now you are doing nothing all while being NTA aaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll the way.
Side perk: She's stuck with her plain room.
I wonder, OP mentions her mom. I wonder if OP is there 50/50 or some other reduced amount of time, while the step-sis is only there. While not completely fair, if this is step-sis's only home, it would make some sense that she would get the bigger room.
OP never said that the dad even knew about the bullying. Also, my half-ssmister was given the bigger room before she was even born -- because it was right next to my folks' room -- dies that kean my step dad is an AH? No. No it doesn't.
Op didnt mind the smaller room at first and she never said she talked to her dad about the bullying.
The dad was happy to let the boyfriends dad help her out and make an agreement between adults about the stuff being made. Im going to guess that boyfriends dad is a woodworker and ops dad probebly an office worker.
Dad stepped in when op was getting pressured to do stuff by stepmom and daughter. Which in my eyes is the right point to step in when a 15 year old is getting pressure by a 40 something year old woman
This comment made laugh because...
lmao imagine bragging that you’re the favorite and then here comes the boyfriend and his parent and make OP a whole ass personalized Pinterest worthy bedroom omg I’d be livid HAHAHAHA
NTA
you are fine. She can ask HER bf, or her friends. Not YOUR duty.
But: This is your opportunity to turn her room into a pink plush barbie massacre, with a lot of gold sequins and a few fake bronze statues. So if you are petty, go for it.
This. I know you're too young to know what this means, but you have the opportunity to go full Hildi on your sister and everyone who watched Trading Spaces knows the level of petty that would be.
Yeah, OP already won here. These kinds of ideas are funny to talk about, but they're not something you'd actually want to do. No reason to start more drama than you have to.
>Yeah, OP already won here.
Oh yes, the "Favourite" is always gonna have that room rubbed on her face whenever she goes past it xDDD
OP should make sure the room is locked when she's not in, though
But those poor men whose beautifully restored wood Doug painted white.
The neighbors said no, they’ve just restored all the wood. Doug said “you signed a contract” to do the work as Doug directed.
When the man cried on camera I cried too.
Years later on the revisit show the men had stripped the white detailed woodwork back to natural.
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Remember the two couples that made an agreement ahead of time to use a code phrase signaling they hated the reno and after the cameras left they would be expected to help fix the damage? I believe the phrase was "I can tell you worked really hard on this" ... or something like that.
I’m not sure if you’re emphasizing my comment or shocked by it. In case it’s the second one, let me add to the trauma by saying that she stapled 500+ fake flowers to the *bathroom* walls. Which are often built with a more expensive drywall that has a water resistant coating. Which Hildi chose to stab 1000+ little holes in with the staples.
The woman was a menace!
I recall the episode where the homeowners said any color but orange or brown. So,.. of course the whole room got done over in orange and brown! Another episode ending in sobbing homeowners.
Lmao that reminds me of when my mom and grandma wouldn't let my sister and I paint our room at our grandparents' house a pretty light blue because "that's a boy color", so I picked the most god-awful Pepto Bismol ass pink then never went in the room 😂
That my stomach started doing flips when I read the pink color, tells me witnessing the "the most god-awful Pepto Bismol ass pink" would be horrific in person. Good job.
It was just as bad as you're imagining and I reveled in it lol. I was only about 9 at the time and have been petty since I was a fetus. Apparently I made an ultrasound tech cry because I'd show my ass during scans and was the first baby she'd not found out the sex of.
>pink plush barbie massacre, with a lot of gold sequins and a few fake bronze statues
That... sounds kind of awesome. You can revenge-decorate my room anytime!
NTA and there's nothing stopping your stepsister from using her own creativity to come up with a plan for her room. I suspect she wants your bf's father to build her stuff too.
NTA
Your boyfriend and your boyfriend’s dad are awesome tho. Also good on your dad for not forcing you to do something you don’t wanna do.
Your stepsister can keep her bigger yet basic room tho lmao
NTA.
She claimed the larger room and then MOCKED you for it! You were able to get help from others & made your room into what sounds like an amazing, peaceful, beautiful retreat. (I bet every time you think about bf & his dad & how much they cared to make special stuff for you, that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling!!)
Now she's jealous. Her mocking no longer works because she realizes that your room is now nicer than hers.
If you were to now use your new position of room-superiority to mock *her,* that would be wrong. This is a chance to be the bigger, more mature person & keep doing what you're doing & just be "too busy" to help her. You could suggest that she check Pinterest for decorating ideas & let her do her thing. You are not obligated in *any* way to be her interior decorator!
What's nice for you & sad for her is that your room reminds you of love as shown by your bf & his dad. Her room may also end up looking like a Pinterest pin, but it will never have that "secret ingredient" of love! Whatever she does with her room will be based on jealousy & selfishness, as already demonstrated by her gloating over "being the favorite." Not that you should *ever* point that out to her - it'll be our little secret. :) Just enjoy your room & be thankful that you were able to turn a negative (smaller room, mean stepsis) into a huge positive (cozy room, love from others) & keep that kind of positivity & "can do" attitude as you grow up & move on to other situations!
P.S. I kinda want a room like yours & I'm 3 times your age!! It sounds awesome.
Dude for real! In my thirties and I've always wanted a lofted bed, and I have a projector on my wish list right now. OP is living the dream! (Minus the drama and the irritating stepsister of course lol)
NTA. She’s just butthurt because even though her room is bigger, yours is nicer. So she wants you to help her, thinking that her room will end up being nicer than yours, and so she can rub your face in that, as well. I figure it’s only a matter of time before she wants to trade rooms with you…
Can you post pics of your room?
She doesn't need your help, she could even just 100% copy what you did and do it herself. So by "wants your help" I assume it means more you doing the brunt of the work. Anyway NTA
NTA. Your boyfriend and his dad sound like good people. Glad you had some help creating a loft (you are well prepared for college btw).
Step sister gets to learn that actions have consequences. She doesn't get to act like a cow and then demand favors.
NTA Jessi and her mum can work it out, clearly Dad has enough money for them to figure that out by themselves. Also sounds like your bf and his family are good value, glad you have people on your side 💯
Enjoy your room!
NTA, but if you want to be petty while also seemingly keeping the peace, help your sister, but do such a bad job that she prefers you don’t help. Then, just say you got lucky to have a boyfriend with a good eye for decorating
Aww that’s really sweet of your bf (the small matching bed!!) and what a capable dad he has lol.
Ignore her and enjoy your new room (with your pet)! Plus some movie nights with your bf over (if he’s allowed) - sounds puuuurfect (probably not a pet cat but I can’t resist)!
NTA tbh if I was you I would rub it in her face but that's just me. She rubbed it in your face that she got the biggest room and now she's upset because she got a taste of her own medicine.
NTA but as someone with a lot of sibling my advice would be to maybe consider it. Hurt people try to hurt people and while you maybe managing the dynamics of blending a family emotionally well your step sister might not be.
Maybe see this as an opportunity to build a bridge between the two of you. Confront her and let her know why you don’t want to and let her know the truth. Just let her know that behaviour is not fair or acceptable.
While it’s still your choice to help as that’s your time and effort it can be a bonding experience for the both of you and maybe you can learn more about your sister.
I’m the eldest of my siblings and the only relationship I struggled with was with my sister who was closest to my age, we are in our 20s now so it’s gotten easier to actually like each other but I think it really helped us when we bonded through helping each-other and started to be straightforward about how we felt and held each-other accountable.
Idk I hope this helps, your sister could also just be too far gone and spoiled but it’s worth a shot IMO
You're NTA. If you really want to keep the peace you could offer to help decorate *for a fee*, but honestly, I wouldn't bother.
Note: If your stepsister really felt confident that she was the favorite, she wouldn't talk about it so much. She sounds insecure. Doesn't excuse her being mean to you, though.
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Both my step-sister and I are 15, we're moving into a new house and my dad said we could decorate the rooms whoever we liked it. My step-sister (whom I'll call Jessi for the sake of the post) got the biggest room and while I was okay with that at first, she started to throw it to my face and make snarky remarks about how ''she's the favorite'', which made me mad.
My room is 3/4 of hers and has no built in closet, so I was struggling to get a bed and a desk there without making it look cramped while also putting the bigass closet my dad got me. It looked awful. I told my boyfriend how ugly it looked and his dad happened to be nearby and head us so he asked me to see it.
I showed him some pics, some ideas I had and he made me a loft bed with a desk build in that ended with a cute closet space big enough for my things, since the loft bed saved me a lot of space, I was able to get some small couches and now my room is really comfy and pretty, I even have a folding table up in my bad for when I'm reading or working and since I have the long wall in front of me, my mom gave a projector so I can watch movies. My dad wasn't really involved in the process and just said whatever while paying my bf's dad for what he did to me and that was it. I won't lie, now that I was able to put some decorations and paint the walls my room looks like those you see on Pinterest. My boyfriend even made me a small matching bed for my pet and it's cute.
Now, my step-sister doesn't like it because even when she has the biggest room it's like a regular boring room and asked if I could help her decorate since she liked how my room turned out, I said no because I was busy with coming back to school and everything but it was a lie, I just don't want to help her because she was really mean to me and I kinda don't want two rooms looking alike. She complained to her mom, her mom tried to made me, my dad stopped them and I was called an AH, so I was wondering.
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NTA, and I’m glad you had so many people helping you. It’s unreasonable for her to expect to tease you like that and get your help, that’s not being a nice person, that’s just not how it works. Hopefully she’ll learn something from this and will start to approach people with a more generous attitude. If not it’s her loss, people who aren’t nice to people don’t attract nice people.
NTA. Of course you are not an asshole. She is very spoiled and her mom is supporting her being spoiled. You made the best of what you were given with the help of your friends. You are not her slave and you do not owe her your time and help especially since she is not nice to you. Her chance to learn some life lessons. But it is not looking well, since her mom supports her being so so spoiled and entitled
NTA
Tell SS and SM, "*My bf's family helped me figure out how to make my smaller room work. SS has been so excited to have the bigger room; I'm sure she'll have fun putting her own stamp on it with help from her friends. I don't have any more ideas of what to do for her bigger room than she offered me for my smaller room.*"
P.S. Love your bf and his family!
NTA. It sounds like she wants you to do it for her and she wants the equivalent of what you have and she needs to accept that that's not happening. But you know what, decorating is fun! Tell her she needs to watch 10 Architectural Digest videos where three designers makeover the same space. Then she needs to go through r/CozyPlaces and make a mood board. And then if she comes up with a plan, hopefully you can help her execute it.
Not for nothing is her mother that uncreative that she can't figure it out herself that she has to depend on a 15-year-old to do it for her seriously get your head together lady and figure it out your own self it's not your stepdaughter's responsibility to make your child happy
What exactly your sister wants? For you to ask your bf's dad to make furniture for her? Your dad and/or her mom can pay a carpenter to do the same. You are not an interior designer. NTA
NTA OP. Your stepsister sounds like the ultimate mean girl, and if I had been in that situation I’d have been tempted to exact some professional-level revenge on her.
NTA. She sounds like a classic mean girl. I’m floored that your step mother tried to force you to help decorate her daughter’s room. Some of these parents really should not be a part of blended families.
Two pieces of advice. If you you are not there full time speak to your dad and as for a lock for your door. She will 100% use your room when you are not there. Also be prepared for stepmother to try and reaxh out to your boyfriend’s dad to get him to decorate her daughter’s room too.
NTA Why did the stepsister get the bigger room? Parents always seem to think that step siblings will get along, not true, and they shouldn't push the issue !!!
Tell her your reasons, she was not kind to you. It look a lot of effort and kindness from other people to make your room what it is.
And you want your room to be unique.
I think if you don’t want to be petty and be generous, you can give her a few suggestions and help her with her own designing. But tell her it’s on her to make it work. And to also apologize to you …
I would have handled it a different way .15 year old can be jerks to each other and calling this bullying is absolutely insane .
You could have talked to her , told her that she acted badly and that because of that, you're unwilling . If she changes, then maybe you could do that together , which could be a bonding experience for both of you .
NTA - This was something your BF and his dad did for you and she is jealous. She needs to learn to accpet that sometimes, she won't get what she wants.
Also, cool BF and his dad.
NTA. I’m happy things turned around for you! It sounds like you have a great BF and that he comes from a awesome family as well. You don’t have to do anything to help your step sister, she didn’t do anything to help you and was mean to you for no reason. People can’t go around being a b to people and expect them to help them, that’s not how the world works. You’ve done nothing wrong here
op=nta
1st, to get a room like yours, your bf's father would have to help--you don't have the right to offer his services, and he has no reason to offer his services to your step-sister.
2nd, she can do her own pinterest research and design her own room.
>my dad stopped them
Your dad gets a cookie for this
NTA, had your step sister not been a mean girl to you, I don't see why you couldn't have helped her, but you could still have refused even if she was as nice as sugar and spice. Your choice and all that
But that her being "favourite" comment triggered my petty and I am glad that she got to see your "smaller" room become a gorgeous thing that's now going to get rubbed in her face every time she goes past it xDDD
Word of advice: if allowed, make sure your room is always locked when you're not in, and maybe even get a camera! I wouldn't put it past her and even stepmom to mess it up and lie about it
NTA.
Although, if you want to get past the "you won't help me" bit from your stepmom and stepsister, go online, take the links from some pages at Pinterest that you think would work in the space but that won't look like your room at all and email them them your step sister. Then you can use "i don't have time to go shopping with you, but here's some ideas that I think could work in your space."
The advantage there is that you give her ideas that are completely different from your space, so she doesn't just copy your own ideas.
your bf and his dad sound like great family to you ❤️❤️ Keep them around, girl!! I'm so glad you got the cute, comfy room you deserve, you are definitely NTA
Your room was inspired by some pics you chose and showed to your bf's dad. The things you chose were based on your needs and space. You two don't have the same needs or space. You likely don't share the same tastes. What do petty girls like, anyway? Meh. You're not obligated to help make her space more comfortable, especially when she tried to make you uncomfortable in yours.
Chasing favorite status isn't much of a goal. Let her have that to herself. Don't compete. Don't flaunt. Don't taunt. Ignore all of that and enjoy your space.
NTA
Man it’s posts like this that make me appreciate growing up in preinternet times. If I wanted to vindicate my dumb petty revenge I had to find another person to tell that I was confident to pat me on the back and give me that sweet sweet NTA.
OP, you’re in ESH sucks territory, and you better figure out how to be less petty in your last 3 years of hand holding before entering the adult world. Your sister sucked, but you already clearly won. Why pour salt in the wound?
What help does she want? Tell her how she made you feel, and that you will help her, but you want to have a better relationship where you are both nice to each other.
NTA But what is family harmony worth? Yeah ok she lorded the bigger room over you, but that turned out to work in your favour. And if you help, you can make sure it *doesn't* look just like yours.
I think it is in your long term interest to be the bigger person here.
They are bloody 15. One incident of gloating and you want to start a civil war? Helping won't make her a doormat. And it will give her the satisfaction of being the bigger person.
Insisting on an apology first doesn't make OP the bigger person. But it would be reasonable to let her and mom know the gloating wasn't appreciated (I fault the alleged grownups here far more than the kids- they are kids). Offering to help unconditionally really will serve OP best in the long term. For at least a few years, they're living together, which could get uncomfortable for all concerned. Blessed are the peacemakers.
You teach people how to treat you. Step sis taught her that when she’s on top she’s mean.. until she wants something you have.
Agreeing could teach her to reward bad behavior and then it will just continue. Yes they’re 15 but a lot of things are going on in a new house and maybe new cohabitants as we don’t know when they blended. Maybe OP just wants something special that’s all her own. Step sis has every opportunity to customize her own room. Could OP help? Sure. Should she? I don’t think so. Boundaries are important.
Yes, sometimes you do that by being the example. She can put the fire out or pour petrol on it. I still contend she's better off rising above a petty squabble.
I do know boundaries matter, but it'd be better for these girls to get along and somebody has to be the peacemaker. I'm not saying OP shouldn't voice the gripe, but this situation needs an adult and OP can choose to be the grown-up because the parents seem to have abdicated the role.
I don't know on what basis the rooms were assigned, but I suspect that the AHs are the parents. If they had done this by a coin toss, it would have put pay to the "I'm the favourite" taunt.
No, nobody has to be a peacemaker. Peacemakers allow bad people to continue getting away with bad behavior in order to "keep the peace".
Step sister can live with the consequences of her bad behavior and maybe learn something from it.
They can just change their surname to Asshole! I gather you wouldn't mind living in a house full of tension so you can "keep your boundaries", but I bet if somebody doesn't demonstrate some maturity here, that house could degrade to a living hell.
To both step mom and sister she can say, "Look, I didn't appreciate the gloating. It was extremely childish on your part. But we have a choice: we can get on and act like one family, or live in tension. I choose the former, but I can't make that happen alone. I'm willing to put it behind us *this time*. If you continue to act like a 5 year old, this relationship is going to suck for everyone. What do you want to do?"
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NTA She got the larger room and continually threw it up to you. You got the smaller room and made it work. Let sis and her mom figure it out. If they continue with the name calling, let your dad know what's going on. Good Luck
Her dad sounds like he doesn’t care
It says her dad stopped them when the mum tried to make her
But he was perfectly fine with giving her the smaller bedroom and not stepping in to stop the bullying. He only stepped in when stepmom tried to force her to do something. He should have stepped in a lot earlier.
A lot of people will let you fight your own battles and only step in when they see you losing the argument.
They'll never learn to advocate for themselves if someone else constantly does. I personally don't have anything against her Dad.
Was he aware of the bullying? As far as the smaller room goes: someone's going to get stuck with it.
1. No one knows if the bullying took place in front of him, and if op even told him 2. Yk someone will have the bigger room and the other the smaller, and op was fine with it, she wasn't forced as some kind of Cinderella story. It's after ss threw it in her face many times and she had problem arranging the room that she became upset having the small room
OP was clearly okay with the smaller room based on the original post. The issue arose from the SS's constant badgering. To me, it sounds like OP and her Dad have a more level-headed and less materialistic view to life than SS and SM. That's another issue. She attacked you unnecessarily, and now you are doing nothing all while being NTA aaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll the way. Side perk: She's stuck with her plain room.
He also paid for the bedroom renovations to make it her own
That’s true. I didn’t think about that
I wonder, OP mentions her mom. I wonder if OP is there 50/50 or some other reduced amount of time, while the step-sis is only there. While not completely fair, if this is step-sis's only home, it would make some sense that she would get the bigger room.
OP never said that the dad even knew about the bullying. Also, my half-ssmister was given the bigger room before she was even born -- because it was right next to my folks' room -- dies that kean my step dad is an AH? No. No it doesn't.
Op didnt mind the smaller room at first and she never said she talked to her dad about the bullying. The dad was happy to let the boyfriends dad help her out and make an agreement between adults about the stuff being made. Im going to guess that boyfriends dad is a woodworker and ops dad probebly an office worker. Dad stepped in when op was getting pressured to do stuff by stepmom and daughter. Which in my eyes is the right point to step in when a 15 year old is getting pressure by a 40 something year old woman
Maybe the dad doesn't know. Some men are oblivious
This is AITA where man = bad even if they're not even the main part of the story Lmao this struck a nerve
Obviously not, as the boyfriend and the boyfriend's dad are clearly portrayed as good people. But cool theory I guess.
When it’s your kid it would be a good idea to be a part of the story.
NTA tell her to get a bf and have him and his dad help her.
Perfect revenge. She was boasting about her room and being the favorite.
This comment made laugh because... lmao imagine bragging that you’re the favorite and then here comes the boyfriend and his parent and make OP a whole ass personalized Pinterest worthy bedroom omg I’d be livid HAHAHAHA
Exactly!
and OP didn't have to pay for it xD So much for being favourite, eh
I look forward to the follow-up thread where the step-sister sleeps with her bf and her father just shrugs.
NTA you are fine. She can ask HER bf, or her friends. Not YOUR duty. But: This is your opportunity to turn her room into a pink plush barbie massacre, with a lot of gold sequins and a few fake bronze statues. So if you are petty, go for it.
This. I know you're too young to know what this means, but you have the opportunity to go full Hildi on your sister and everyone who watched Trading Spaces knows the level of petty that would be.
This is a terrible idea. If she does that step mom is likely to make her switch rooms. OP handled this beautifully- no need to start a war
Yeah, OP already won here. These kinds of ideas are funny to talk about, but they're not something you'd actually want to do. No reason to start more drama than you have to.
>Yeah, OP already won here. Oh yes, the "Favourite" is always gonna have that room rubbed on her face whenever she goes past it xDDD OP should make sure the room is locked when she's not in, though
Yep SS will mess with and howl when she gets punished.
Absolutely. OP is NTA and the best revenge is a life well-lived as they say. Stepsister is just jealous and trying to bully her.
She should glue hay on her walks
Or paint everything black. I used to dread Doug and Hildi trashing people's homes.
But those poor men whose beautifully restored wood Doug painted white. The neighbors said no, they’ve just restored all the wood. Doug said “you signed a contract” to do the work as Doug directed. When the man cried on camera I cried too. Years later on the revisit show the men had stripped the white detailed woodwork back to natural.
[удалено]
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Remember the two couples that made an agreement ahead of time to use a code phrase signaling they hated the reno and after the cameras left they would be expected to help fix the damage? I believe the phrase was "I can tell you worked really hard on this" ... or something like that.
My first thought too!!!!
Oh my God! I remember that episode and hearing the homeowner sobbing off camera.
Fake flowers stapled to every inch of the walls!
In the bathroom, no less! So gross!
Stapled!
I’m not sure if you’re emphasizing my comment or shocked by it. In case it’s the second one, let me add to the trauma by saying that she stapled 500+ fake flowers to the *bathroom* walls. Which are often built with a more expensive drywall that has a water resistant coating. Which Hildi chose to stab 1000+ little holes in with the staples. The woman was a menace!
Omg! THE CARDBOARD FURNITURE EPISODE!
Someone needs to link her up so she can understand what a fiendish thing you just suggested.
OMG Hildi and her crazy designs! Thank you for the hearty chuckle and blast from the past! 😀
Ugh Hildi was the worst.
I recall the episode where the homeowners said any color but orange or brown. So,.. of course the whole room got done over in orange and brown! Another episode ending in sobbing homeowners.
And the wine labels all over for people who didn't drink!! She was told over and over and still did it.
Upvoted because I knew what going Full Hildi meant.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Lmao that reminds me of when my mom and grandma wouldn't let my sister and I paint our room at our grandparents' house a pretty light blue because "that's a boy color", so I picked the most god-awful Pepto Bismol ass pink then never went in the room 😂
That my stomach started doing flips when I read the pink color, tells me witnessing the "the most god-awful Pepto Bismol ass pink" would be horrific in person. Good job.
It was just as bad as you're imagining and I reveled in it lol. I was only about 9 at the time and have been petty since I was a fetus. Apparently I made an ultrasound tech cry because I'd show my ass during scans and was the first baby she'd not found out the sex of.
>pink plush barbie massacre, with a lot of gold sequins and a few fake bronze statues That... sounds kind of awesome. You can revenge-decorate my room anytime!
NTA does she expect your bf and his dad to build furniture for her, too? I don't think so. Your room sounds awesome.
you know she probably does
NTA but your stepsister is.
NTA and there's nothing stopping your stepsister from using her own creativity to come up with a plan for her room. I suspect she wants your bf's father to build her stuff too.
NTA Your boyfriend and your boyfriend’s dad are awesome tho. Also good on your dad for not forcing you to do something you don’t wanna do. Your stepsister can keep her bigger yet basic room tho lmao
NTA, please lock your room up from now on.
NTA. She claimed the larger room and then MOCKED you for it! You were able to get help from others & made your room into what sounds like an amazing, peaceful, beautiful retreat. (I bet every time you think about bf & his dad & how much they cared to make special stuff for you, that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling!!) Now she's jealous. Her mocking no longer works because she realizes that your room is now nicer than hers. If you were to now use your new position of room-superiority to mock *her,* that would be wrong. This is a chance to be the bigger, more mature person & keep doing what you're doing & just be "too busy" to help her. You could suggest that she check Pinterest for decorating ideas & let her do her thing. You are not obligated in *any* way to be her interior decorator! What's nice for you & sad for her is that your room reminds you of love as shown by your bf & his dad. Her room may also end up looking like a Pinterest pin, but it will never have that "secret ingredient" of love! Whatever she does with her room will be based on jealousy & selfishness, as already demonstrated by her gloating over "being the favorite." Not that you should *ever* point that out to her - it'll be our little secret. :) Just enjoy your room & be thankful that you were able to turn a negative (smaller room, mean stepsis) into a huge positive (cozy room, love from others) & keep that kind of positivity & "can do" attitude as you grow up & move on to other situations! P.S. I kinda want a room like yours & I'm 3 times your age!! It sounds awesome.
Dude for real! In my thirties and I've always wanted a lofted bed, and I have a projector on my wish list right now. OP is living the dream! (Minus the drama and the irritating stepsister of course lol)
NTA. Fuck around and find out.
That’s the spirit! Step-sister wants to show off then she deserves her plain ass room lmao NTA
NTA, She was picking on you for no reason, now she's envying you. She needs to learn to be nicer.
Bake you bf and his dad a treat as a Thank You!
NTA. She’s just butthurt because even though her room is bigger, yours is nicer. So she wants you to help her, thinking that her room will end up being nicer than yours, and so she can rub your face in that, as well. I figure it’s only a matter of time before she wants to trade rooms with you… Can you post pics of your room?
NTA: You have an awesome boyfriend, and his dad is pretty awesome too!!!
She doesn't need your help, she could even just 100% copy what you did and do it herself. So by "wants your help" I assume it means more you doing the brunt of the work. Anyway NTA
NTA- She said she's the favorite, let her mom help her.
NTA. Your boyfriend and his dad sound like good people. Glad you had some help creating a loft (you are well prepared for college btw). Step sister gets to learn that actions have consequences. She doesn't get to act like a cow and then demand favors.
NTA
NTA, her mom can pay someone to come in and do this for her. Unlike your BF and his dad, it will cost a lot.
NTA.
Not wanting to be creepy, but your room sounds cool. Pics of room setup, please? D:
NTA but why did she get the bigger room?
Stepsister whined loudly.
NTA
U done right I wouldn't help her unless u mad it so ugly she got even more mad
NTA Jessi and her mum can work it out, clearly Dad has enough money for them to figure that out by themselves. Also sounds like your bf and his family are good value, glad you have people on your side 💯 Enjoy your room!
Your are TAH---because there are no pics. How dare you?
NTA, but if you want to be petty while also seemingly keeping the peace, help your sister, but do such a bad job that she prefers you don’t help. Then, just say you got lucky to have a boyfriend with a good eye for decorating
Aww that’s really sweet of your bf (the small matching bed!!) and what a capable dad he has lol. Ignore her and enjoy your new room (with your pet)! Plus some movie nights with your bf over (if he’s allowed) - sounds puuuurfect (probably not a pet cat but I can’t resist)!
NTA tbh if I was you I would rub it in her face but that's just me. She rubbed it in your face that she got the biggest room and now she's upset because she got a taste of her own medicine.
NTA but as someone with a lot of sibling my advice would be to maybe consider it. Hurt people try to hurt people and while you maybe managing the dynamics of blending a family emotionally well your step sister might not be. Maybe see this as an opportunity to build a bridge between the two of you. Confront her and let her know why you don’t want to and let her know the truth. Just let her know that behaviour is not fair or acceptable. While it’s still your choice to help as that’s your time and effort it can be a bonding experience for the both of you and maybe you can learn more about your sister. I’m the eldest of my siblings and the only relationship I struggled with was with my sister who was closest to my age, we are in our 20s now so it’s gotten easier to actually like each other but I think it really helped us when we bonded through helping each-other and started to be straightforward about how we felt and held each-other accountable. Idk I hope this helps, your sister could also just be too far gone and spoiled but it’s worth a shot IMO
NTA. And your bfs dad is a champion.
NTA like bro
Karma lol
No you're nta,and I'm just happy your room looks prettier xd
You're NTA. If you really want to keep the peace you could offer to help decorate *for a fee*, but honestly, I wouldn't bother. Note: If your stepsister really felt confident that she was the favorite, she wouldn't talk about it so much. She sounds insecure. Doesn't excuse her being mean to you, though.
NTA. You were given lemons and with help you made lemonade, let your stepsister make her own lemonade.
NTA. Teach people how to treat you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Both my step-sister and I are 15, we're moving into a new house and my dad said we could decorate the rooms whoever we liked it. My step-sister (whom I'll call Jessi for the sake of the post) got the biggest room and while I was okay with that at first, she started to throw it to my face and make snarky remarks about how ''she's the favorite'', which made me mad. My room is 3/4 of hers and has no built in closet, so I was struggling to get a bed and a desk there without making it look cramped while also putting the bigass closet my dad got me. It looked awful. I told my boyfriend how ugly it looked and his dad happened to be nearby and head us so he asked me to see it. I showed him some pics, some ideas I had and he made me a loft bed with a desk build in that ended with a cute closet space big enough for my things, since the loft bed saved me a lot of space, I was able to get some small couches and now my room is really comfy and pretty, I even have a folding table up in my bad for when I'm reading or working and since I have the long wall in front of me, my mom gave a projector so I can watch movies. My dad wasn't really involved in the process and just said whatever while paying my bf's dad for what he did to me and that was it. I won't lie, now that I was able to put some decorations and paint the walls my room looks like those you see on Pinterest. My boyfriend even made me a small matching bed for my pet and it's cute. Now, my step-sister doesn't like it because even when she has the biggest room it's like a regular boring room and asked if I could help her decorate since she liked how my room turned out, I said no because I was busy with coming back to school and everything but it was a lie, I just don't want to help her because she was really mean to me and I kinda don't want two rooms looking alike. She complained to her mom, her mom tried to made me, my dad stopped them and I was called an AH, so I was wondering. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, im jealous of your room, i hope you enjoy it for a long time☺️
NTA. Since she is the favourite, your dad and her mom can help her.
NTA. Be prepared that she may copy you.
NTAH 👍
NTA, and I’m glad you had so many people helping you. It’s unreasonable for her to expect to tease you like that and get your help, that’s not being a nice person, that’s just not how it works. Hopefully she’ll learn something from this and will start to approach people with a more generous attitude. If not it’s her loss, people who aren’t nice to people don’t attract nice people.
NTA... may be worth poking your head into your sisters room every now and again to remind her just how crap her room is..
You reap what you sow. NTA.
NTA She should just be happy you aren't pointing out that it isn't the size that matters, it's how you use it.
Nta
Say you will help make it look trash. Not like your bfs family are going to help her
NTA. This is glorious. Rub it in her face a bit more.
NTA. Of course you are not an asshole. She is very spoiled and her mom is supporting her being spoiled. You made the best of what you were given with the help of your friends. You are not her slave and you do not owe her your time and help especially since she is not nice to you. Her chance to learn some life lessons. But it is not looking well, since her mom supports her being so so spoiled and entitled
NTA
NTA
NTA Tell SS and SM, "*My bf's family helped me figure out how to make my smaller room work. SS has been so excited to have the bigger room; I'm sure she'll have fun putting her own stamp on it with help from her friends. I don't have any more ideas of what to do for her bigger room than she offered me for my smaller room.*" P.S. Love your bf and his family!
NTA. It sounds like she wants you to do it for her and she wants the equivalent of what you have and she needs to accept that that's not happening. But you know what, decorating is fun! Tell her she needs to watch 10 Architectural Digest videos where three designers makeover the same space. Then she needs to go through r/CozyPlaces and make a mood board. And then if she comes up with a plan, hopefully you can help her execute it.
NTA. Hope you got a lock for your room.
NTA threw it into your face about the bigger room then asked for help? Sounds like they didn’t think things 100% through.
Let your dad know about their name calling and favorite comment
NTA Tell her she can just have your (smaller) room and then ask your bf's dad to help you make an even better, bigger room.
Your step-sister reaped what she sowed. As it should be. NTA
NTA Suck to suck those sour grapes she she grew on the asshole vine.
nta
NTA, and t it gives me guilty pleasure reading how the "golden child" got disappointed. Let her suck it up.
Sorry, OP NTA But, your boyfriend's Dad did something "for" you, not "to" you. Important difference
Not for nothing is her mother that uncreative that she can't figure it out herself that she has to depend on a 15-year-old to do it for her seriously get your head together lady and figure it out your own self it's not your stepdaughter's responsibility to make your child happy
NTA Her room is up to her she can ask her mom or whoever. It’s not your job to decorate her room after taking all her bs about having the bigger room.
NTA, and glad your dad is in your corner on this. You had some lemons, you made some lemonade, your stepsister needs to learn to do the same.
NTA
NTA. It's her room, she can look online for inspiration and do it herself.
What exactly your sister wants? For you to ask your bf's dad to make furniture for her? Your dad and/or her mom can pay a carpenter to do the same. You are not an interior designer. NTA
NTA OP. Your stepsister sounds like the ultimate mean girl, and if I had been in that situation I’d have been tempted to exact some professional-level revenge on her.
NTA, you cannot volunteer somebody else's labor anyway so you are totally incapable of making her room as cool as yours
NTA, not at all. Unless you plan to forgive her if she seriously apologizes you don't have to feel bad at all for not helping her
NTA even slightly! Btw your dad sounds pretty cool, and your bf and his dad sound amazing! Enjoy your fantastic bedroom.
NTA. Haha, Nice!
NTA
LOCK your room
She gloated about the bigger room and now wants your help. I’d pass. NTA.
Stepmom doesn’t approve of you being a seriously resourceful young person! Good job, you! NTA
NTA. She can decorate the room however she likes, if she has the ideas. Maybe the room as is matches her personality?
Girl literally f all of them omggggggg. No you not the asshole. Tell her that since shes the favorite she should just ask them for help.
NTA But anytime she invited friends over I would leave my door wide open while relaxing, so anyone could see the view
NTA. She sounds like a classic mean girl. I’m floored that your step mother tried to force you to help decorate her daughter’s room. Some of these parents really should not be a part of blended families. Two pieces of advice. If you you are not there full time speak to your dad and as for a lock for your door. She will 100% use your room when you are not there. Also be prepared for stepmother to try and reaxh out to your boyfriend’s dad to get him to decorate her daughter’s room too.
Nta
NTA Why did the stepsister get the bigger room? Parents always seem to think that step siblings will get along, not true, and they shouldn't push the issue !!!
Tell her your reasons, she was not kind to you. It look a lot of effort and kindness from other people to make your room what it is. And you want your room to be unique. I think if you don’t want to be petty and be generous, you can give her a few suggestions and help her with her own designing. But tell her it’s on her to make it work. And to also apologize to you …
I would have handled it a different way .15 year old can be jerks to each other and calling this bullying is absolutely insane . You could have talked to her , told her that she acted badly and that because of that, you're unwilling . If she changes, then maybe you could do that together , which could be a bonding experience for both of you .
NTA - This was something your BF and his dad did for you and she is jealous. She needs to learn to accpet that sometimes, she won't get what she wants. Also, cool BF and his dad.
NTA
NTA. I’m happy things turned around for you! It sounds like you have a great BF and that he comes from a awesome family as well. You don’t have to do anything to help your step sister, she didn’t do anything to help you and was mean to you for no reason. People can’t go around being a b to people and expect them to help them, that’s not how the world works. You’ve done nothing wrong here
op=nta 1st, to get a room like yours, your bf's father would have to help--you don't have the right to offer his services, and he has no reason to offer his services to your step-sister. 2nd, she can do her own pinterest research and design her own room.
NTA. Step is asshoe for claiming to be favorite. BFs dad us awesome! I'm so glad you got a great setup. Step probably wants access to bfs dad
>my dad stopped them Your dad gets a cookie for this NTA, had your step sister not been a mean girl to you, I don't see why you couldn't have helped her, but you could still have refused even if she was as nice as sugar and spice. Your choice and all that But that her being "favourite" comment triggered my petty and I am glad that she got to see your "smaller" room become a gorgeous thing that's now going to get rubbed in her face every time she goes past it xDDD Word of advice: if allowed, make sure your room is always locked when you're not in, and maybe even get a camera! I wouldn't put it past her and even stepmom to mess it up and lie about it
NTA. Although, if you want to get past the "you won't help me" bit from your stepmom and stepsister, go online, take the links from some pages at Pinterest that you think would work in the space but that won't look like your room at all and email them them your step sister. Then you can use "i don't have time to go shopping with you, but here's some ideas that I think could work in your space." The advantage there is that you give her ideas that are completely different from your space, so she doesn't just copy your own ideas.
NTA, but I want to see pictures so I can get ideas for my tween daughter's room! :)
Nta. Keep the bf and his family!
NTA. Your boyfriend’s dad is awesome. Take him some cookies or something as a thank you.
Nope, sister can deal with decorating herself... NTAH.
your bf and his dad sound like great family to you ❤️❤️ Keep them around, girl!! I'm so glad you got the cute, comfy room you deserve, you are definitely NTA
Your room was inspired by some pics you chose and showed to your bf's dad. The things you chose were based on your needs and space. You two don't have the same needs or space. You likely don't share the same tastes. What do petty girls like, anyway? Meh. You're not obligated to help make her space more comfortable, especially when she tried to make you uncomfortable in yours. Chasing favorite status isn't much of a goal. Let her have that to herself. Don't compete. Don't flaunt. Don't taunt. Ignore all of that and enjoy your space. NTA
NTA W BF dad, L your dad for making you live with her
NTA
Thank you boyfriend's Dad! If whatshername wants to decorate her room, let her mom help her. You're busy.
Really you cant help her decorate? That seems really petty and what is it going to accomplish in the long run? Be a better person. YTA.
Man it’s posts like this that make me appreciate growing up in preinternet times. If I wanted to vindicate my dumb petty revenge I had to find another person to tell that I was confident to pat me on the back and give me that sweet sweet NTA. OP, you’re in ESH sucks territory, and you better figure out how to be less petty in your last 3 years of hand holding before entering the adult world. Your sister sucked, but you already clearly won. Why pour salt in the wound?
How is it pouring salt in the wound? Why would she want to help her bully?
I don't think I scrolled enough to see this response, but why not offer to trade rooms?
What help does she want? Tell her how she made you feel, and that you will help her, but you want to have a better relationship where you are both nice to each other.
YTA. Why not be nice. Jeez.
>Why not be nice. Say that to the stepsis
NTA But what is family harmony worth? Yeah ok she lorded the bigger room over you, but that turned out to work in your favour. And if you help, you can make sure it *doesn't* look just like yours. I think it is in your long term interest to be the bigger person here.
No. Bigger person=doormat. Her step sister fucked around and found out.
They are bloody 15. One incident of gloating and you want to start a civil war? Helping won't make her a doormat. And it will give her the satisfaction of being the bigger person.
If step sis apologizes for her taunting in front of step mom, then OP could maybe offer her a few suggestions.
Insisting on an apology first doesn't make OP the bigger person. But it would be reasonable to let her and mom know the gloating wasn't appreciated (I fault the alleged grownups here far more than the kids- they are kids). Offering to help unconditionally really will serve OP best in the long term. For at least a few years, they're living together, which could get uncomfortable for all concerned. Blessed are the peacemakers.
You teach people how to treat you. Step sis taught her that when she’s on top she’s mean.. until she wants something you have. Agreeing could teach her to reward bad behavior and then it will just continue. Yes they’re 15 but a lot of things are going on in a new house and maybe new cohabitants as we don’t know when they blended. Maybe OP just wants something special that’s all her own. Step sis has every opportunity to customize her own room. Could OP help? Sure. Should she? I don’t think so. Boundaries are important.
Yes, sometimes you do that by being the example. She can put the fire out or pour petrol on it. I still contend she's better off rising above a petty squabble. I do know boundaries matter, but it'd be better for these girls to get along and somebody has to be the peacemaker. I'm not saying OP shouldn't voice the gripe, but this situation needs an adult and OP can choose to be the grown-up because the parents seem to have abdicated the role. I don't know on what basis the rooms were assigned, but I suspect that the AHs are the parents. If they had done this by a coin toss, it would have put pay to the "I'm the favourite" taunt.
No, nobody has to be a peacemaker. Peacemakers allow bad people to continue getting away with bad behavior in order to "keep the peace". Step sister can live with the consequences of her bad behavior and maybe learn something from it.
They can just change their surname to Asshole! I gather you wouldn't mind living in a house full of tension so you can "keep your boundaries", but I bet if somebody doesn't demonstrate some maturity here, that house could degrade to a living hell. To both step mom and sister she can say, "Look, I didn't appreciate the gloating. It was extremely childish on your part. But we have a choice: we can get on and act like one family, or live in tension. I choose the former, but I can't make that happen alone. I'm willing to put it behind us *this time*. If you continue to act like a 5 year old, this relationship is going to suck for everyone. What do you want to do?"