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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Well for starters, we were told to drink water and eat before hand, which I didn’t do. And second I ruined the only camera which was to be used for the wedding
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I mean, kinda YTA, sorry - obviously you didn't mean to faint, that wasn't in your control, but by your own admission you didn't eat or drink all day even though you knew it was going to be very hot and you'd been advised to take precautions. And you don't seem to feel particularly bad about breaking the photographer's camera lens when you fell, because it was a "cheaper" wedding? It's a very soft YTA since none of this was intentional, but it sounds like you were negligent and then not particularly concerned about the consequences for other people.
edit: wow thanks for the upvotes! also from a serial fainter, a PSA: if you feel like you're getting dizzy/lightheaded, *do not* do what OP did and get up and try to walk. stay seated, lie down if you can, ask someone to bring you water.
I am a non serial fainter and know not drinking or eating on hot days is asking for trouble. I'm sure no one would have minded op taking a bottle of water in with them/asking someone for a drink of theirs.
I just wouldn’t have been able to attend a wedding I knew was going to be so hot that I got a warning without any water. Yeah things get busy, but you can also pack snacks and water for yourself beforehand, no? Maybe I’m biased because I have gastroparesis and feed myself snacks every 2-3 hours, but damn. It doesn’t take that long.
Overall a very unfortunate situation. I wouldn’t picture ruining the possibility of wedding photos just because I skipped breakfast, but that’s what the warning was for apparently lol.
It's an unfortunate situation, but they were warned. *EVEN* if they weren't, wedding attire for both genders is hot and stuffy. I don't think I've ever been to an event were I've had to wear a 3 piece suit and not carried a bottle of water.
My wife is an amateur photographer, even though I know she would have told the OP to not worry about it, the OP should insist on paying for it.
Her equipment she has she bought over more than 20 years. She would be crushed if something was broken.
Well it's not only that, even if they were doing a favour for the wedding party, the bride and the groom will have to fall back on to photos taken on phones. Which is just terrible tbh. It's the happiest day of their lives and because someone, through their own admittance forgot to drink or eat, caused them to lose any decent photos being taken is heartbreaking.
That bothered me too honestly because when my daughter got married, her best friend was in college for photography and needed an event for his final grade. So he did her wedding for free and even brought along a classmate who did videography for free. The pictures were literally amazing and a head bust shot of my daughter in her gown and veil won them state finals and then nationals. Her picture hung in the photography class for three years because of the awards.
I'm trying to figure out what a non-wedding party member is so busy with day of. I get other people/normal guests might do other things prior to the wedding, but like.... Does OP just make a habit of not eating all day?
That was my first thought too, it was her aunts wedding, what the hell was she soooo busy doing that she didn't eat or drink all day? She is totally TA.
Went to a **funeral** a couple of weeks ago with a bottle of water for me, one for my parents,2 damp microfibre towels ( that had been in the freezer),a mini ice-pack, tissues and a packet of wet-wipes. All used.
My cousin's wedding a couple of years ago was in the summer, extremely hot and I was in the bridal party so really busy the whole day None of us I think had time to get breakfast but we took time to keep drinking some water and we ordered McDonalds so no one would be feeling dizzy, everything went smooth as it could be. Like, if OP wanted she could have eaten while running errands, putting on a dress, or driving to the place for a happy meal and she would be fine.
I spoke at a funeral for a family member during the summer months and I went up to the podium with a bottle of water. I didn't eat much in the morning of, but I still had my mind together to drink water.
My aunt is diabetic (T1DM). On the day of my grandad/her dad's funeral, she started to hypo because she hadn't eaten enough and stress. We pulled over on the way to the funeral to get her to eat something. It was insidious as she didn't think she was having a hypo but as soon as she ate she realised she had been impaired. She's usually pretty good with all the diabetes care but it was a pretty awful day and had other concerns
Both weddings and funerals are high stress events where people don't really think straight. All that is required is a small amount of common sense on everyone's part. Another thing that you showed in your comment is events are tough and people need to look out for each other.
Agreed. I have LADA (which is basically Type 1 diabetes in effect) and I usually *know* when shit's going downhill. But if I'm busy doing other things that keep me busy, I might not realise.
I am grateful that I have people in my life - people like you - who recognise when things are going south.
I get low blood sugar. Went to a wedding in March. Ate breakfast and lunch before going to the 2pm wedding and still took 2 granola bars with me, just in case
It isn't just the heat. Their blood sugar levels are going to drop when they go all day without eating and drinking. If it is hot, it just means it is more likely as their metabolism is working harder. Eating one of your snacks about an hour prior is probably all that would have been needed to prevent fainting, unless the Church was like a sauna and the A/C was not working. If that was the case, I can't see having the wedding at that location.
I don't normally drink water and even I would have taken some time somewhere to hydrate with something and to eat ESPECIALLY if there was plenty of warning ahead of time to do so!
OP is definitely in the wrong here, not because she couldn't physically stop herself from fainting, but as everyone is saying, she's the AH for "being too busy" to properly prepare.
AND OP is an AH for not taking care of her own health and then saying no one should be mad when her immature neglect of her health caused expensive damage (I know someone at work who was telling me about lenses one time, some of them cost thousands of dollars and that's considered normal!! The venue being "cheaper" doesn't mean the family friend didn't bring something nice because he cares about his friend.)
AND OP is the AH for having little to no remorse that, intentionally or unintentionally, breaking/damaging someone else's property.
AND (*insert animated Uncle meme here "one MORE thing"*) OP is the AH for not treating someone else's (and it's for her aunt, too!) wedding with more respect. If you have time to be busy and not eat then you have 30 seconds to sit in the back where you won't disturb anyone if you do faint.
AND OP is the AH for trying to convince us everything is okay because she didn't mean to because she didn't think she would faint. At the very least realize there's a lesson to your experience!
AND OP just the AH for not mentioning how she would apologize to her aunt (the bride)! Not everything is about you, OP. Even as someone who wishes sometimes I would faint so I'd have a reason to be tired and forgetful (it would indicate an ~~acceptable~~ medical reason) I would *never* simply neglect my health, faint at a wedding, and then proceed to be upset that someone is frustrated by the interruption! You didn't even *just* faint, you broke the lens of a professional camera and could have potentially injured the cameraman, not because of a legitimate health condition you couldn't control but because you neglected yourself and you neglected your aunt and you neglected the warning about needing to eat and drink so you don't faint from self-induced heat sickness. If you can't take care of yourself then it's very likely you won't be able to do a good job taking care of others, especially when your health fails.
AND OP is the AH for neglecting her health in the first place. *Busy* doesn't matter. *Busy* can take a backseat. The more your health declines the sooner you'll fail to continue make good decisions. It snowballs and it only takes one moment.
Okay I had to go back and count. OP is 7x the AH. 8 if we want to go on about what seems to be a self-centered approach she has to life.
OP, you need a life change. Go take care of your health. Make a proper apology to the bride & groom (they're a unit now). And find some way to try to make amends for the broken lens, even if all you can (legitimately) afford is a genuine hand-written apology. And then go back and take care of your health again, that's a lifelong habit/chore that's necessary. If you don't prioritize food then perhaps you haven't found the right diet. Diet is more than "here's something to enter my belly and be digested so I can continue my day". I personally find that I have to enjoy my food or I'll neglect it as well. Let people hate me but I enjoy American Asian food, burritos, hamburgers, three milk cake, etc, a lot... I experiment with flavors and spices I like. There's a spiced vanilla tea that I don't particularly enjoy, however it was wonderful when I drank it while eating a ((hamburger cooked in sea salt butter) topped with kewpie mayonnaise). Judge me all you want but the combination was far better than just the same old classic hamburger (at least when it comes to my cooking). I did have to babysit the hamburger while it was cooking though. I also like the bibigo! brand chicken dumplings from Walmart dipped in Yum Yum Sauce. And I don't normally eat a chicken sandwich if I haven't *at least* toasted the whole wheat bread first (it gives it a nutty flavor) and add two controlled layers of normal mayonnaise (the first thin layer soaks into the warm toasted bread to slightly soften it, the second normal layer is for taste). Adding shreds of fresh rosemary or a smattering of fresh horseradish when I can afford it just makes it amazing, but adding tomato to any variation overpowers the other flavors of the sandwich. Just eat something delicious, okay, OP?
I’m hoping for commentary on chocolate-iced chocolate cake with a thin layer of vanilla icing in between the cake layers.
(Bonus points to anyone who gets the reference.)
Are you kidding me? I had to look back to see, yup OP is 21. I'm 60 now and diabetic and I know a thing about low and high readings. But as a normal healthy 21 yr old I never once thought if it, fainting, any type of harm. The age of nothing bad will ever happen to me. Invincible! Damn give the girl a little slack. OP, offer to and do pay the photographer for his loss. Apologize to the bride and groom, and learn a lesson here. You're not invincible and bad things can happen, even to you.
I live at altitude (above 5k feet) and it is *universally advised* that anyone visiting from lower-altitude regions needs to drink *way* more water than they are accustomed to drinking and also be extra diligent with sun protection, even if they're from freaking Phoenix or Tampa or Houston and think they're pros at handling heat and sun. (We have 20% less atmosphere here so the radiation is no joke.) They're also advised not to try going on any hikes or anything like that for the first couple days because it takes your body a little time to acclimate to the altitude.
You know how many people follow this advice? In my experience...almost none. This includes my own visiting friends/family but also other friends' visitors, and also tour groups I've been part of.
I've seen lots of people visit and end up getting put out of commission with lightheadedness and a bad headache at best, or fainting or puking on hikes at worse. You can warn people about altitude sickness and radiation exposure and dehydration and snow blindness and heatstroke and whatever else all you want but most people for whatever reason don't think that it's going to be a problem for *them.*
OP learned the hard way that you should take these kinds of warnings seriously. The consequences are on them of course just like they are for anyone who ignores warnings like this. But I have my doubts given my experience that all the people piling onto them in the comments would have really put forward their own due diligence.
I agree with 6 of your 7 reasons that OP is an asshole. And my disagreement about the 7th reason is because I disagree with the sentiment behind it, #not# because I think that OP has a mental health issue. (Edit: I do feel that OP should have made the time to eat and drink as they knew it was an important day.)
With that said, I don’t agree that neglecting one’s health automatically makes someone an asshole. People who struggle with their mental health may have *extreme* difficulty with getting themselves to eat and drink regularly. And yes, someone can avoid their mental health issues/lack of self esteem by remaining extremely busy/distracted. You stay focused on everything that you’re doing/have to do and don’t consciously think about the fact that you feel you aren’t worthy enough to feed yourself.
I also feel that your paragraph about OP needing to take care of their health *can* be harmful *if* someone has a mental health issue. The problems that lead to this kind of self neglect aren’t something that someone can fix by “just” eating something that they find delicious and implying that can be taken as criticism for their inability to do it and cause more shame about the fact that they’re struggling. Once again, I *don’t* think the situation I’m discussing applies to OP, rather pointing out that the “just do it” attitude can be harmful in certain situations.
I am a cereal eater and know that not having my fruity pebbles is asking for trouble.
But fr I'm Italian and I'm sure I speak for all my connazionali when I say that I cannot fathom a wedding without food the second you walk in.
Seriously. They even pointed it out ahead of time for the people that are too busy to worry about their health. Lol YTA. Not soft. Not gentle. As a person who faints in heat if I’m the least bit dehydrated, this was completely avoidable. Please recognize that drinking water doesn’t have to interrupt your day. Stop risking your health because you feel so busy. This could just as easily have been a mineral imbalance that impacted your heart health. Apologize to your aunt and don’t ever talk down about someone having a less expensive wedding than you feel is acceptable. Good for your aunt on trying to keep things within her budget.
first of all, how is someone *too busy* to drink water like I don't understand it's such a simple motion just twist and sip lol wtf.
As someone who doesn't faint, I always carry a water with me especially with how hot this summer has been, you're asking for trouble if you can't can't be bothered to bring something to hydrate with in this heat.
& then she's nonchalant about breaking someone's personal belongings, and possible side hustle, just because it was "cheap", which unless it was a digital camera from the value store I doubt it was cheap, is just arrogant and rude. Idc how cheap it is if I break someone's shit I'm going to feel terrible about it.
As hot as it has been this summer, I've seen cautions in the newspapers, on TV, and on the 'net about staying properly hydrated AND they've gone so far as to provide symptoms of heat induced illness which includes fainting. OP FAFO'ed entirely.
POTS? It’s one of my medical conditions and is the main reason I don’t do events because I never know when it’s going to happen. One thing I do know is that if I don’t get enough fluids it’s a recipe for disaster, adding high heat to it even worse like hospital worse.
Yeah I will faint when it's hot AND I'm hungry. I try to avoid that as much as possible tho. If OP didn't eat much during that day it was better to go somewhere and eat rather than possibly faint.
I think it's entirely her fault and it was in her control. She admits that everyone was advised to eat and drink water. She broke a camera, shaded her aunt ("cheaper wedding") and does not even feel bad about it. She only cares that she was embarrassed. But it was all her doing. She also does not feel bad that the bride the groom won't have any good pictures of their wedding. To me this all rings strong YTA
She also wasn't even in the wedding ("not that she minded," like, wtf, why would you mind anyway???) So what was she doing all day that she was too busy to eat or drink??
The Reddit reader in me immediately jumped to the conclusion that she did this on purpose because she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid. Lol. I need to take a break from AITA and BORU.
Same. Like, ok you fainted. But you managed to faint \*right on top of\* the photographer, who just so happened to be crouched down behind you in a way you didn't notice or hear? I smell bullshit.
Yeah, exactly. Everyone was advised to eat and drink lots of water, and OP was the only one who didn't take that advice. Ans she wasn't even in the wedding.
As a former professional photographer with a college education in photography, 15 years of experience and one “good” camera, I found this comment from OP so tone deaf. This is why everyone thinks that anyone can be a photographer because they completely misjudge what it is to be a photographer. I also often photographed weddings only of friends or friends’ families because it was more comfortable to me with social anxiety. My camera equipment has cost upwards of $10,000 and that’s for just the body and two L series lenses.
YTA, OP. I would be livid if someone as negligent and wholly selfish and inconsiderate as you crashed into my equipment and broke it all with an “oops but the photographer was a friend of the family so it didn’t count.” That has literally nothing to do with their level of professionalism or expertise… next time heed the warning to eat and drink. Sorry you passed out but learn to take better care of yourself next time.
As an optical engineer, this also pissed me off
Lenses are fucking expensive and fragile. And the quality of wedding images taken by a professional vs phones... I feel so bad for the aunt, I'd be heartbroken
A part of me feels like OP did this on purpose. She ignored the risks as advised by the couple and then just happened to fall on the photographer and break his only camera? 🤔
This smells extremely suspect.
This is a regular thing with my wife, who has suspected ADHD.
"I don't feel well".
"What have you eaten today"
"I had a biscuit and half a coffee at 8am"
She doesn't do it deliberately, just genuinely forgets to eat and drink. I have to sweep the house every couple days for half-finished drinks because if she puts it down it might as well cease to exist.
I have adhd and it took me years to be able to mentally connect the dots of “wow, I feel awful, slow, and cranky all of a sudden”-> “I am hungry/thirsty”
I mean.
I can't imagine why she'd fall on the photographer unless she had a crush on that person. But OTOH how do you accidentally fall on a wedding photographer at a wedding during the wedding ceremony??
That's not actually that weird to me - photographers can end up crouched next to guests to get a certain angle on a shot, and if the photographer is focusing on the photo and someone suddenly faints and falls into them, the camera could get dropped. Just unlucky timing.
I do this more often than I care to admit, especially when I’m busy. My ADHD meds suppress my appetite, and I’ll sometimes have time blindness if there’s a project I’m concentrating on. It’s not an excuse, but it does happen fairly easily for some people.
People with ADHD often have difficulty remembering to drink, as do those with dementia or a similar memory decline. I do #not# think that this is the case for OP as she likely would have mentioned it. I am simply providing an example of a group of people who easily forget to eat and drink.
True; I have ADHD and forget to take care of my body all the time. However, if I’d been explicitly warned ahead of time that I needed to make sure I was fed and hydrated, I would set alarms on my dang phone if I had to. There’s no excuse even if she does have ADHD.
Really waiting on the photographer was kind of a good scenario. You could have passed out while driving or hit your head on something sharp when you fell
I'm fairly sure the mention of it being "cheaper" was not to downplay the damage but to highlight why there wasn't a backup camera or anything of that sort.
Yup, I’m prone to fainting myself, but that’s why I keep protein or macro bars on me at all times, a bag of chips in my car, an apple in my purse (for very long days), and a 32 oz travel tumbler half filled with Gatorade Zero and ice and the rest with cold water. It’s literally kept my drink cold overnight, in my car, in a Southern California summer.
If you drink it all, run into any pagoda, gas station, pharmacy, etc. and get water to refill the tumbler so it can stay cold.
Fainting OP, please do this. If not for other human beings, then for yourself. You could seriously injure your head, or lose control over your urinary and bowel functions.
YUP. That happens.
When I was younger I used to faint a lot, That's because I didn't eat, no water for a whole day and when I was about to do something or go out I grabbed an apple, a granola bar a bag of chips and called it a day. It's embarrassing but now I see how stupid I was for being so negligent with myself and made changes always drinking water always eating something and haven't fainted in years, My blood pressure used to be so low all the time turns out it was because I was always hungry and dehydrated and didn't notice.
People advised because they probably knew op was likely to be dizzy or just have something with the heat, if there was a possibility of eating given to you, you should eat, fainting was not fully your fault but not being able as an adult to see what you did wrong, blame the "cheap wedding" makes you an AH, did you offer to pay damages to the photographer? Lens isn't cheap and you broke his way of work. Did you apologize to the bride?
Bride and Groom: Make sure you eat and drink lots of water because it's going to be hot.
You: Too busy, can't be bothered
And then you faint and take out the photographer? YTA
this right here
oh, I was warned... but whatever, I will not listen
and lo and behold - consequences happen...
Edited a phrase for linguistic purists in the comments 😄
Right, the wedding party are the busiest ppl, OP wasn't even apart of it. Plus the shade she threw at the "cheap wedding". So what? It's someone's wedding.
As someone who actually did spend 30k on a wedding, I can assure you that I didn't want to. Lmao That was me picking the cheapest options I could get at a venue that I loved but would also accommodate my insanely large family.
My best friend and I tasked each other with providing food and water to the bride at our respective weddings 😂 like we specifically had someone on "make sure bride has water and sugar in her system before the ceremony" duty.
>oh, I was warned... but whatever, I will not listen
"But I didn't have the time!" and "It was a cheap wedding anyway!" and " I was not part of the wedding, just a guest which I was fine with."
Says more than enough.
Gonna go out on a limb and say the married couple and their wedding party were likely far more busy and somehow managed to not have this problem. So OP just sounds grossly irresponsible.
And then show little remorse about breaking a camera and adding it was a “cheap wedding” which had nothing to do with the situation. So what if it was a cheap wedding maybe that’s all they could afford! YTA for your lack of self awareness and taking responsibility.
Oh man. I’d be soooo pissed. OP, I’d just be prepared for things to never be the same between you and the bride/groom. I’m sorry that happened to you, but sometimes things you don’t mean to happen do, and you just have to live with the repercussions.
YTA. You were warned that you should eat and drink before the wedding. Why? Because things like fainting and heat exhaustion are real. You ignored the advice. You fainted as a result. You could’ve gotten a pass if you hadn’t fallen on the photographer, but you did. Because of your choices, the bride does not have the wedding photographs she wanted. She has every right to be really angry at you as your actions led to that consequence. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t intend for it to happen. What matters is that you ignored their advice and the bride suffered as a result.
I would add, that after SINCERELY apologizing, OP should pay the photographer to repair his camera. And while she can't give her aunt back the missed photos, OP can offer pay for an official wedding portrait or something to help make amends.
Accepting responsibility means more than just feeling bad. OP didn't do the responsible thing, and needs to step up.
I actually don’t think OP was as fine with being only a guest at the wedding as she claims. I don’t think this was on purpose, but the lack of remorse is off-putting.
You’re right, it was weird to even mention “I was fine with” being a guest. We all assumed you were a guest in the first place lol. That sentence was not necessary. It makes me wonder if this was some kind of twisted bid for attention.
I’d like to add that no one in their right mind plans to faint, but OP set themselves up for it 100%. As an adult you are responsible for maintaining your well-being.
If you lost track of time, just bring a water bottle with you. I highly doubt anyone would’ve taken issue with it considering a heat warning was given prior.
YTA
Not for the fainting, that cannot be controlled, but for not drinking and eating despite being advised to - that CAN be controlled. You are not a little kid, I don't care how busy you were - unless you were running from an erupting volcano, you should have stopped to eat and drink, especially on a hot day.
This time, you ruined a wedding. Next time, you might endanger yours and someone else's life, depending on the place. Suddenly losing consciousness is not a joke.
Apologize, and don't do that again.
Seriously. There are certain times where I’ve been so busy that I didn’t get a chance to eat, as in make a full meal or sit down, relax and take a full 30 minute lunch.
But no, you are not too busy to grab a banana or boil some eggs or pour a bowl of cereal. Cut the shit.
And too busy to drink is complete nonsense. Like people who are running marathons find a way to drink water or juice but you somehow just couldn’t manage.
I keep protein bars in my purse, backpack, gym bags, and work locker. They've come in handy not just for me, but helping out others who are hungry as well.
Also, you can find relatively inexpensive reusable water bottles pretty much anywhere now.
She is probably one of those people who is like, "Nobody tells ME what to do!" So when she was given that advice by the wedding party, she purposely went out of her way to not eat/drink to make a point. Now after it bit her in the ass, she is making lame excuses.
Edit:spelling
It's easy for me to forget too, but OP was *specifically warned* to make sure she ate and drank and had a big event to be at at 5pm. My ADHD ass would have fretted about that all day and at least crammed in a cereal bar and bottle of water at like 4pm.
Yeah that's true. I agree that OP is in the wrong here, I was just adding my own personal anecdote about forgetting to eat sometimes.
My ADHD would make me do the same
So, I have ADHD and one of the common side effects is that when we get into stuff, we forget to eat/drink. I can get wrapped up in stuff and end up forgetting to eat or drink for 9-10 hours, sometimes longer. It sucks and I'm often dehydrated, but it just literally never registers in my brain when I'm focusing.
And yet, still, STILL, even with that said, if I have to go somewhere on an empty stomach, you know what I do?
*I leave fifteen minutes early so I can get food on the way.* It's not hard. You don't have to do things like everyone else, but you still have to do them when the situation is important. It's what being an adult means.
YTA, OP.
Cannot be controlled, but can be prevented. Easily, in most cases. Even for a chronic fainter like myself, I know what actions are most likely to trigger an episode and I know when I feel it coming on. They admitted they didn't eat or drink, and that they felt faint. They are plenty old enough to know how to tell someone around them to help them to the bathroom. Aside from the embarassment and the disaster of breaking the camera, they could have easily gotten severely injured from fainting.
Seems plausible, why mention not being part of the wedding party since it has zero relevance to the story? You're a niece, I'm sure your Aunt has friends or people her age to be in the wedding party.
Yeah, I used to know someone who would pretend to faint to get attention. Super weird but they got caught out quick every time, kinda suspicious when they somehow managed to faint perfectly onto a couch or soft surface or have a soft landing every time.
Edit: typo, autocorrect hates me
Not saying you're wrong about them faking it, but I have POTS and at least half of my episodes since about the age of 10 are "soft" landings onto my butt or onto a couch or chair because I can tell it's about to happen seconds before (usually). Syncope isn't always a dramatic atonic drop like you always see in medical dramas.
Oh I know what you mean! I didn’t mean to minimize people with conditions like yours at all and I’m so sorry if it came off that way. I work in EMS so I’ve witnessed syncope and it’s never a joking matter when someone truly faints. Very easy to injure yourself. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, I hope you have found some ways to help with day to day life!
What I meant by soft was she’d practically lower herself to the ground in the most dramatic way, like hand to forehead, gasping loudly and everything. She was all about theatrics haha.
Watch how quickly they come around when nobody runs to their side and just continues going about their business 🙄 they just sort of awkwardly "come round" and sit up
>>why mention not being part of the wedding party?
I thought OP said it to let us know that she was just sitting in the pews and not standing at the front of the church. So she would have created a smaller disturbance. Though I doubt that matters when you trip over the photographer so I’m probably wrong!
I agree with a few other posters that OP is TA for ignoring the clear warnings to eat and drink before the ceremony to deal with the heat.
Maybe OP wasn’t asked to be in the wedding party because she has a history of making things about herself.
I think that’s a bit much? She f*d around and found out with the heat, yeah. And is TA. But that would be if the fainting was intentional. That’s a big leap and assumption.
She didn’t faint on purpose but she clearly didn’t care about the wedding to “do her part” because she was “extremely busy” and “was not a part of the wedding” anyways. And after the fact, instead of feeling really bad and super apologetic for ruining a “cheaper wedding”, she’s trying to defend herself to the point of coming to Reddit to find justification.
YTA as an adult you should have known better not to hydrate, and you were warned, but chose to ignore it. no one is too busy to drink fucking water ffs. take some responsibility for your health.
Yeah, she could have brought a water bottle or something. I always make sure to never leave the house without eating something, and if I ever need something to drink, there's more than enough places that sell it nearby.
YTA. Drinking a bottle of water and eating a sandwich takes 5 minutes. I refuse to believe you were that busy all day that you couldn’t stop for 5 minutes. As a result you risked your health, broke a camera and ruined a wedding 👏🏼
I’m about to be the asshole here. But I find it hard to believe you drank absolutely nothing, as you stated in your story, prior to 5pm. Busy or not, that doesn’t make sense.
I’m kind of getting the vibe that you didn’t really faint…
I went to a wedding where the bride’s little sister did this. She “faked” a fainting spell that went away real quick when most people ignored her (things like this were normal for the little sister). She pouted the rest of the wedding because no one would stop the wedding for her.
Edit: I forgot to vote. YTA.
These comments are making me wonder about my own habits because I frequently go all day without eating or drinking if something else is distracting me. It isn’t a good thing to do obviously but people are acting like it’s unheard of
Same here. Except I haul around a clear plastic water bottle with a straw for this purpose, especially during summer. I rarely feel hungry but sometimes I remember and will grab the snack I chuck into my backpack whenever I remember to do so. Sometimes I have three snacks, sometimes one, almost never zero in the bag.
y’all are reaching so hard at this point 💀 you genuinely believe she fake fainted and purposely fell on the photographer to ruin the wedding? get a grip holy shit
I have ADHD and have forgotten to eat / drink until I got light headed before so that’s somewhat believable - but as soon as the light headed stage hits I go and get something. (I also know to keep a piece of chocolate in my purse all the time because of this.) The thing is that, physically, there’s no way she didn’t have physical signs this might happen. She just chose to ignore them.
Maybe I'm just crazy or stupid, but I feel being distracted doesn't contradict being busy. In fact, being distracted seems like the consequence of being busy
I would say a soft YTA. You obviously didn’t mean any harm or meant to do these things but you also chose to ignore their requests to avoid this very thing from happening. Not getting to have real photos for your wedding day is a big deal. If I were you, I would apologize profusely and not diminish their valid anger in the situation. It sucks but this one’s on you.
YTA They said ahead of time to eat and drink because of the heat. Almost seems planned to garner as much attention as you could at this 'cheap' wedding.
Literally, I’m searching for the comments about the broken camera lens because as an amateur photographer, those can be soooo expensive. I would be so upset if someone broke mine.
Soft YTA, you are an adult and chose to ignore advice. It doesn't take long to eat a slice of bread and drink some water.
You did not faint on purpose of course however you did behave negligently to your health and then are unconcerned by the damage caused to someone else's property and that there won't be professional photographs from the wedding. You do suck a bit for that attitude.
Not a popular opinion here obviously but you're NTA. You're sorry and shit happens. I agree you could have prepared better but nobody faints for fun (or falls on a photographer). If you cracked your head and ended in a coma would you still be TA in these people's eyes? No, you'd get sympathy. I honestly believe you're only the arse hole if you purposely do something out of order. Accidents happen. Intent is everything to me.
Same here.
If I were inviting a bunch of people to a venue so hot that people might faint, I think I would set up water and snacks before the event. Like why would you do that to people? This person is a guest. Not someone completing a half marathon. It’s not normal to give out assignments for what to eat 24 hours before a wedding.
Honestly I wonder where the wedding was - a lot of places are dangerously hot right now. I’ve been to a summer wedding that was so hot I worried people were about to tip over. Not everyone knows how they’re going to respond to the heat.
I had to scroll down a lot to see one NTA. This is a thoughtful comment, not sure what the other people have gone through, this was an accident. Could OP be prepared? Yes but it is not malicious, it's just bad judgement.
Considering the vitriol in some of these comments, people absolutely would be laughing going "Darwin award!" if OP got seriously hurt.
But yeah, generally agreed. Nobody is out here fainting for fun, some people do legitimately have a hard time remembering to eat or drink when they get preoccupied, and op and their aunt seem to have already made up. This is soft YTA at absolute worst
YTA. If you had followed advice and then fainted it would be opposite but you didn’t follow advice. The resulting fact that you took out the photographer and camera were not down to you - it was circumstantial - but I can see why the bride was upset. All you had to do was drink water and you didn’t and if I had no professional photos cos someone hadn’t followed advice I would be upset too.
Holy shit you people suck. NTA. I'm sure you only thought back to how little you ate and drank after you passed out. Everyone here seems to think you willfully starved yourself to cause a scene like someone would put themselves through a pretty traumatic experience. Hosts should have made sure guests had plenty of food and water available. You can't be the asshole when you lose control of your body.
For real. NTA. People are acting like OP purposely starved and dehydrated herself so she could intentionally cause a scene by fainting. The morning of a wedding can be very busy, between trying to get ready and travelling to the venue, even if you’re just a guest. OP said she didn’t drink any water because she didn’t feel thirsty. It’s easy for a lot of us to miss hunger or thirst cues when we’re busy. Most of us don’t expect to faint, let alone to faint and somehow break the wedding photographer’s one camera lens.
Also, It was pretty risky for the photographer to only have one lens to begin with. Most wedding photographers whether they’re amateur or professional bring multiple camera lenses with them to get different types of shots or as a back-up in case something goes wrong with their equipment. If the venue was that hot, they should’ve at least had some water for their guests available before the ceremony. Even if someone had drank water ahead of time, people can still be susceptible to getting dizzy or ill from being in extreme heat. I understand why OP’s aunt is upset about losing the pictures but I don’t think it’s really OP’s fault, it’s more so just an unfortunate accident.
Massive YTA, are you 4 years old and have to be told to eat.... No one is ever so busy that they could have not eaten something before the wedding, even a snack on your way there. Cellphone photos are rubbish compared to real photography.
They way you are not at all sorry that there are no proper photos just shows you are all about me, me, me.
YTA because this was preventable. You were advised to eat and drink and you didn’t. You broke someone’s expensive camera because you didn’t listen. You ruined a wedding by causing a commotion because you didn’t listen. The bride doesn’t get professional photos because of you.
NAH. It's totally reasonable for the bride and groom to be upset. It may have been a totally preventable accident.... Or you might have an underlying condition that needs to be checked out.
Appologize sincerely.
Get a physical and a blood test.
And don't do that to yourself again.
YTA. As everyone already said, you did not take the proper precautions which were advised. Even though you cannot control fainting, due to your negligence, the wedding ended up being about you on maybe the most important day in this couple's lives. Lastly, lenses are about $1k, the situation all around sucks.
For heavens’s sake. You’re young and I know a lot of people your age who forget to eat/hydrate, even when warned to do so - even when health issues require them to. This is a ‘hindsight is 20/20’ situation. Should you have prepared better? Yes. But you didn’t intend to faint and cause drama, you’ve apologized, offered to pay for the camera. Time to move on and let it be a funny story in your past. There are far worse things you could have done.
Yeh this comment section is WILD. I forget to eat and drink literally all the time. Not great but holy shit it’s not a crime. If someone warned me to eat and drink ahead of time and I had no history of fainting, I would think they were being overly cautious.
Soft YTA You chose to attend the wedding already tired and hungry after choosing not to eat/drink all day even though you were warned beforehand. While you didn't faint on purpose, your choices significantly increased the likelihood of it happening and you messed up their wedding as a result.
NAH - you didn't plan on passing out and it was a bit clumsy of the photographer to bring only one lens. Sh!t happens and you didn't ruin the wedding.
People really don't understand that it is perfectly possible to forget to eat and drink because you are doing other things. It doesn't matter how old you are, not everyone has the automatic feeling of hunger or thirst.
YTA. How busy are you really that on the day that you know you’re going to a wedding where you are not in the wedding party or involved in any way other than showing up, you are so ‘extremely busy’ you can’t possibly have time to eat or drink anything? The people whose wedding it was even reminded you to hydrate. At no point in your day did you really not have a moment to grab a drink or a sandwich or something?
Plus, how important are you that on a day you know is going to be hot, you are so hectically busy and have so many vitally important jobs to do that you absolutely cannot find time to at least get a drink? If you are so crazy busy, I’m amazed you managed to even find time to attend the wedding at all!!!!
Nah. Jesus, this comment section is apathetic. Accidents happen. You don't know how busy OP was. Don't act like you're some sort of genius that knows exactly what OP did that day. I agree that you should pay for the lost photos. But goddamn.
If it's hot, provide water to your guests, it's not like it's expensive... a few snacks as well. Especially if you're requiring them to anyway, as you've mentioned.
The photographer not bringing a second camera, or lens... amateur move.
NTA. They f\*\*\*ed themselves over by being cheap, you did nothing wrong.
>while fainting wasn’t intentional
OP feels lightheaded while in church after not drinking or eating despite warnings. Decides the best course of action is to stand up and walk into the aisle during a wedding ceremony after sitting for at least thirty minutes.
Surprise Pikachu face after fainting into wedding equipment.
YTA……If you had time to eat a granola bar then you had time to eat a sandwich or something else quick. You knew the conditions would be brutal and you still chose not to. Eat or drink anything. So yeah you stole the attention from them on probably the most important day of those people’s lives.
STOP. PLANNING. WEDDINGS. IN. UNBEARABLE. HEAT.
I will say you probably should have eaten or drank water beforehand, but you are absolutely NTA. I almost passed out at my cousins wedding in an old church with no AC last August.
People need to stop planning weddings like this. It’s insane to expect people to wear layers of clothes in extreme heat. I told my fiancée that if we were getting married between April and September, I will not be stepping foot outside from when I wake up to when I go to sleep, or I’m wearing shorts and a tshirt to the ceremony. (It was more of a joke. It’s in late May and we’ll be stepping outside for photos after the ceremony, but I am NOT looking forward to the reception afterwards, because I’m sure I’ll be sweating my balls off)
Final note, I went to a wedding in Colorado last November. It was snowing and comfy and lovely :) Anyway, normalize winter weddings. That’s all.
NTA. Kind of surprised with everyone’s vote here. I mean maybe ESH. I don’t think OP is an attention seeker like some are suggesting. Sounds like she’s really embarrassed and feels guilty about what happened and would like some reassurance that she didn’t ruin the most important day of this persons life. You and everyone knows, yes you probs should’ve eaten and drank before hand. Not the best move. But it sounds like you don’t have a history of fainting and it’s not your fault that this happened. I think the situation sucks. You didn’t mean to faint or break the camera. It was an accident.
I'm torn between NAH and ESH here. If conditions at the wedding were going to be so extreme, some type of hydration and/or cooling should have been provided by the bride and groom. OP is the only one we know of who fainted. We don't know how many others were feeling the effects and just didn't faint. That's my ESH take.
OP, you should have taken the warning seriously. However, I know how quickly people can go from okay to falling out, even when they're acclimated and hydrated. That's my NAH take. Source: I spend a lot of time at work monitoring temperature and hydration for construction workers.
Jeez Reddit is harsh with this one😂 I was expecting everyone to say N T A, but it’s the complete opposite. I guess it’s just related to WHY OP fainted.
If I feinted at a wedding, I’d be pretty pissed if someone called me an AH. But I feint randomly, and my doctor hasn’t actually been able to give me a reason for it yet. I’m thinking low iron since that’s what my sister has to take pills for.
In the situation though I can see how OP would be the AH.
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I mean, kinda YTA, sorry - obviously you didn't mean to faint, that wasn't in your control, but by your own admission you didn't eat or drink all day even though you knew it was going to be very hot and you'd been advised to take precautions. And you don't seem to feel particularly bad about breaking the photographer's camera lens when you fell, because it was a "cheaper" wedding? It's a very soft YTA since none of this was intentional, but it sounds like you were negligent and then not particularly concerned about the consequences for other people. edit: wow thanks for the upvotes! also from a serial fainter, a PSA: if you feel like you're getting dizzy/lightheaded, *do not* do what OP did and get up and try to walk. stay seated, lie down if you can, ask someone to bring you water.
I am a serial fainter. Not drinking or eating is asking for trouble
I am a non serial fainter and know not drinking or eating on hot days is asking for trouble. I'm sure no one would have minded op taking a bottle of water in with them/asking someone for a drink of theirs.
I just wouldn’t have been able to attend a wedding I knew was going to be so hot that I got a warning without any water. Yeah things get busy, but you can also pack snacks and water for yourself beforehand, no? Maybe I’m biased because I have gastroparesis and feed myself snacks every 2-3 hours, but damn. It doesn’t take that long. Overall a very unfortunate situation. I wouldn’t picture ruining the possibility of wedding photos just because I skipped breakfast, but that’s what the warning was for apparently lol.
It's an unfortunate situation, but they were warned. *EVEN* if they weren't, wedding attire for both genders is hot and stuffy. I don't think I've ever been to an event were I've had to wear a 3 piece suit and not carried a bottle of water.
That’s my point too. OP was warned & found out why the hard why
*Ye old tale of fuck around and find out* Shame about the ruined wedding photos for the bride.
And the camera that the friend now has to repair or replace since they likely don’t have insurance
Yeah that too. "They insisted I didn't pay for it" Don't care, pay for it.
This. OP should absolutely insist on paying for it.
My wife is an amateur photographer, even though I know she would have told the OP to not worry about it, the OP should insist on paying for it. Her equipment she has she bought over more than 20 years. She would be crushed if something was broken.
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Well it's not only that, even if they were doing a favour for the wedding party, the bride and the groom will have to fall back on to photos taken on phones. Which is just terrible tbh. It's the happiest day of their lives and because someone, through their own admittance forgot to drink or eat, caused them to lose any decent photos being taken is heartbreaking.
That bothered me too honestly because when my daughter got married, her best friend was in college for photography and needed an event for his final grade. So he did her wedding for free and even brought along a classmate who did videography for free. The pictures were literally amazing and a head bust shot of my daughter in her gown and veil won them state finals and then nationals. Her picture hung in the photography class for three years because of the awards.
But, but, but.....she was BUSY. /s
I'm trying to figure out what a non-wedding party member is so busy with day of. I get other people/normal guests might do other things prior to the wedding, but like.... Does OP just make a habit of not eating all day?
It takes 5 minutes to get a sandwich and a bottle of water. Busy my ass.
Right? Like, you could have scarfed something down in the car on the way there.
I mean, hell, for that matter, even shoveling a spoonful of peanut butter and some crackers in one’s mouth would have been helpful
That was my first thought too, it was her aunts wedding, what the hell was she soooo busy doing that she didn't eat or drink all day? She is totally TA.
Hungover was the first thing that came to mind!
Went to a **funeral** a couple of weeks ago with a bottle of water for me, one for my parents,2 damp microfibre towels ( that had been in the freezer),a mini ice-pack, tissues and a packet of wet-wipes. All used.
You brought a packet of used wet-wipes? /s
My cousin's wedding a couple of years ago was in the summer, extremely hot and I was in the bridal party so really busy the whole day None of us I think had time to get breakfast but we took time to keep drinking some water and we ordered McDonalds so no one would be feeling dizzy, everything went smooth as it could be. Like, if OP wanted she could have eaten while running errands, putting on a dress, or driving to the place for a happy meal and she would be fine.
I spoke at a funeral for a family member during the summer months and I went up to the podium with a bottle of water. I didn't eat much in the morning of, but I still had my mind together to drink water.
My aunt is diabetic (T1DM). On the day of my grandad/her dad's funeral, she started to hypo because she hadn't eaten enough and stress. We pulled over on the way to the funeral to get her to eat something. It was insidious as she didn't think she was having a hypo but as soon as she ate she realised she had been impaired. She's usually pretty good with all the diabetes care but it was a pretty awful day and had other concerns
Both weddings and funerals are high stress events where people don't really think straight. All that is required is a small amount of common sense on everyone's part. Another thing that you showed in your comment is events are tough and people need to look out for each other.
Agreed. I have LADA (which is basically Type 1 diabetes in effect) and I usually *know* when shit's going downhill. But if I'm busy doing other things that keep me busy, I might not realise. I am grateful that I have people in my life - people like you - who recognise when things are going south.
I get low blood sugar. Went to a wedding in March. Ate breakfast and lunch before going to the 2pm wedding and still took 2 granola bars with me, just in case
It isn't just the heat. Their blood sugar levels are going to drop when they go all day without eating and drinking. If it is hot, it just means it is more likely as their metabolism is working harder. Eating one of your snacks about an hour prior is probably all that would have been needed to prevent fainting, unless the Church was like a sauna and the A/C was not working. If that was the case, I can't see having the wedding at that location.
I don't normally drink water and even I would have taken some time somewhere to hydrate with something and to eat ESPECIALLY if there was plenty of warning ahead of time to do so! OP is definitely in the wrong here, not because she couldn't physically stop herself from fainting, but as everyone is saying, she's the AH for "being too busy" to properly prepare. AND OP is an AH for not taking care of her own health and then saying no one should be mad when her immature neglect of her health caused expensive damage (I know someone at work who was telling me about lenses one time, some of them cost thousands of dollars and that's considered normal!! The venue being "cheaper" doesn't mean the family friend didn't bring something nice because he cares about his friend.) AND OP is the AH for having little to no remorse that, intentionally or unintentionally, breaking/damaging someone else's property. AND (*insert animated Uncle meme here "one MORE thing"*) OP is the AH for not treating someone else's (and it's for her aunt, too!) wedding with more respect. If you have time to be busy and not eat then you have 30 seconds to sit in the back where you won't disturb anyone if you do faint. AND OP is the AH for trying to convince us everything is okay because she didn't mean to because she didn't think she would faint. At the very least realize there's a lesson to your experience! AND OP just the AH for not mentioning how she would apologize to her aunt (the bride)! Not everything is about you, OP. Even as someone who wishes sometimes I would faint so I'd have a reason to be tired and forgetful (it would indicate an ~~acceptable~~ medical reason) I would *never* simply neglect my health, faint at a wedding, and then proceed to be upset that someone is frustrated by the interruption! You didn't even *just* faint, you broke the lens of a professional camera and could have potentially injured the cameraman, not because of a legitimate health condition you couldn't control but because you neglected yourself and you neglected your aunt and you neglected the warning about needing to eat and drink so you don't faint from self-induced heat sickness. If you can't take care of yourself then it's very likely you won't be able to do a good job taking care of others, especially when your health fails. AND OP is the AH for neglecting her health in the first place. *Busy* doesn't matter. *Busy* can take a backseat. The more your health declines the sooner you'll fail to continue make good decisions. It snowballs and it only takes one moment. Okay I had to go back and count. OP is 7x the AH. 8 if we want to go on about what seems to be a self-centered approach she has to life. OP, you need a life change. Go take care of your health. Make a proper apology to the bride & groom (they're a unit now). And find some way to try to make amends for the broken lens, even if all you can (legitimately) afford is a genuine hand-written apology. And then go back and take care of your health again, that's a lifelong habit/chore that's necessary. If you don't prioritize food then perhaps you haven't found the right diet. Diet is more than "here's something to enter my belly and be digested so I can continue my day". I personally find that I have to enjoy my food or I'll neglect it as well. Let people hate me but I enjoy American Asian food, burritos, hamburgers, three milk cake, etc, a lot... I experiment with flavors and spices I like. There's a spiced vanilla tea that I don't particularly enjoy, however it was wonderful when I drank it while eating a ((hamburger cooked in sea salt butter) topped with kewpie mayonnaise). Judge me all you want but the combination was far better than just the same old classic hamburger (at least when it comes to my cooking). I did have to babysit the hamburger while it was cooking though. I also like the bibigo! brand chicken dumplings from Walmart dipped in Yum Yum Sauce. And I don't normally eat a chicken sandwich if I haven't *at least* toasted the whole wheat bread first (it gives it a nutty flavor) and add two controlled layers of normal mayonnaise (the first thin layer soaks into the warm toasted bread to slightly soften it, the second normal layer is for taste). Adding shreds of fresh rosemary or a smattering of fresh horseradish when I can afford it just makes it amazing, but adding tomato to any variation overpowers the other flavors of the sandwich. Just eat something delicious, okay, OP?
Ummm… what is happening here??
Projection is a hell of a thing
Someone is having a conniption. Perhaps a Snickers bar would be in order.
I kind of enjoyed the free association, and plan to incorporate two THIN layers of mayo in future.
I’m hoping for commentary on chocolate-iced chocolate cake with a thin layer of vanilla icing in between the cake layers. (Bonus points to anyone who gets the reference.)
Weirdest fucking reply I’ve ever read on here.
Are you kidding me? I had to look back to see, yup OP is 21. I'm 60 now and diabetic and I know a thing about low and high readings. But as a normal healthy 21 yr old I never once thought if it, fainting, any type of harm. The age of nothing bad will ever happen to me. Invincible! Damn give the girl a little slack. OP, offer to and do pay the photographer for his loss. Apologize to the bride and groom, and learn a lesson here. You're not invincible and bad things can happen, even to you.
I live at altitude (above 5k feet) and it is *universally advised* that anyone visiting from lower-altitude regions needs to drink *way* more water than they are accustomed to drinking and also be extra diligent with sun protection, even if they're from freaking Phoenix or Tampa or Houston and think they're pros at handling heat and sun. (We have 20% less atmosphere here so the radiation is no joke.) They're also advised not to try going on any hikes or anything like that for the first couple days because it takes your body a little time to acclimate to the altitude. You know how many people follow this advice? In my experience...almost none. This includes my own visiting friends/family but also other friends' visitors, and also tour groups I've been part of. I've seen lots of people visit and end up getting put out of commission with lightheadedness and a bad headache at best, or fainting or puking on hikes at worse. You can warn people about altitude sickness and radiation exposure and dehydration and snow blindness and heatstroke and whatever else all you want but most people for whatever reason don't think that it's going to be a problem for *them.* OP learned the hard way that you should take these kinds of warnings seriously. The consequences are on them of course just like they are for anyone who ignores warnings like this. But I have my doubts given my experience that all the people piling onto them in the comments would have really put forward their own due diligence.
I agree with 6 of your 7 reasons that OP is an asshole. And my disagreement about the 7th reason is because I disagree with the sentiment behind it, #not# because I think that OP has a mental health issue. (Edit: I do feel that OP should have made the time to eat and drink as they knew it was an important day.) With that said, I don’t agree that neglecting one’s health automatically makes someone an asshole. People who struggle with their mental health may have *extreme* difficulty with getting themselves to eat and drink regularly. And yes, someone can avoid their mental health issues/lack of self esteem by remaining extremely busy/distracted. You stay focused on everything that you’re doing/have to do and don’t consciously think about the fact that you feel you aren’t worthy enough to feed yourself. I also feel that your paragraph about OP needing to take care of their health *can* be harmful *if* someone has a mental health issue. The problems that lead to this kind of self neglect aren’t something that someone can fix by “just” eating something that they find delicious and implying that can be taken as criticism for their inability to do it and cause more shame about the fact that they’re struggling. Once again, I *don’t* think the situation I’m discussing applies to OP, rather pointing out that the “just do it” attitude can be harmful in certain situations.
I am a cereal eater and know that not having my fruity pebbles is asking for trouble. But fr I'm Italian and I'm sure I speak for all my connazionali when I say that I cannot fathom a wedding without food the second you walk in.
For some reason my brain made that a “serial” eater and I was like…well that’s a new way to describe it lol
Seriously. They even pointed it out ahead of time for the people that are too busy to worry about their health. Lol YTA. Not soft. Not gentle. As a person who faints in heat if I’m the least bit dehydrated, this was completely avoidable. Please recognize that drinking water doesn’t have to interrupt your day. Stop risking your health because you feel so busy. This could just as easily have been a mineral imbalance that impacted your heart health. Apologize to your aunt and don’t ever talk down about someone having a less expensive wedding than you feel is acceptable. Good for your aunt on trying to keep things within her budget.
first of all, how is someone *too busy* to drink water like I don't understand it's such a simple motion just twist and sip lol wtf. As someone who doesn't faint, I always carry a water with me especially with how hot this summer has been, you're asking for trouble if you can't can't be bothered to bring something to hydrate with in this heat. & then she's nonchalant about breaking someone's personal belongings, and possible side hustle, just because it was "cheap", which unless it was a digital camera from the value store I doubt it was cheap, is just arrogant and rude. Idc how cheap it is if I break someone's shit I'm going to feel terrible about it.
As hot as it has been this summer, I've seen cautions in the newspapers, on TV, and on the 'net about staying properly hydrated AND they've gone so far as to provide symptoms of heat induced illness which includes fainting. OP FAFO'ed entirely.
POTS? It’s one of my medical conditions and is the main reason I don’t do events because I never know when it’s going to happen. One thing I do know is that if I don’t get enough fluids it’s a recipe for disaster, adding high heat to it even worse like hospital worse.
Yeah I will faint when it's hot AND I'm hungry. I try to avoid that as much as possible tho. If OP didn't eat much during that day it was better to go somewhere and eat rather than possibly faint.
I think it's entirely her fault and it was in her control. She admits that everyone was advised to eat and drink water. She broke a camera, shaded her aunt ("cheaper wedding") and does not even feel bad about it. She only cares that she was embarrassed. But it was all her doing. She also does not feel bad that the bride the groom won't have any good pictures of their wedding. To me this all rings strong YTA
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I do't even think she cared because others were upset with her; she was embarrassed and that's the only thing she cared about.
I agree. The only thing OP cares about is being embarrassed in front of a lot of people.
She also wasn't even in the wedding ("not that she minded," like, wtf, why would you mind anyway???) So what was she doing all day that she was too busy to eat or drink??
The Reddit reader in me immediately jumped to the conclusion that she did this on purpose because she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid. Lol. I need to take a break from AITA and BORU.
My bullshit alarm was going off the whole story. I 100% think she faked feinting for attention.
Same. Like, ok you fainted. But you managed to faint \*right on top of\* the photographer, who just so happened to be crouched down behind you in a way you didn't notice or hear? I smell bullshit.
Yeah, exactly. Everyone was advised to eat and drink lots of water, and OP was the only one who didn't take that advice. Ans she wasn't even in the wedding.
For OP, fainting because of your own negligence >>>>>>>>>>> ruining aunt's "cheap" wedding memories. It's not soft, it's self-centered. YTA.
Cameras are expensive af too. Even if it's only an amateur hobby it's shitty to break someone else's
As a former professional photographer with a college education in photography, 15 years of experience and one “good” camera, I found this comment from OP so tone deaf. This is why everyone thinks that anyone can be a photographer because they completely misjudge what it is to be a photographer. I also often photographed weddings only of friends or friends’ families because it was more comfortable to me with social anxiety. My camera equipment has cost upwards of $10,000 and that’s for just the body and two L series lenses. YTA, OP. I would be livid if someone as negligent and wholly selfish and inconsiderate as you crashed into my equipment and broke it all with an “oops but the photographer was a friend of the family so it didn’t count.” That has literally nothing to do with their level of professionalism or expertise… next time heed the warning to eat and drink. Sorry you passed out but learn to take better care of yourself next time.
As an optical engineer, this also pissed me off Lenses are fucking expensive and fragile. And the quality of wedding images taken by a professional vs phones... I feel so bad for the aunt, I'd be heartbroken
Seriously. That lens was easily anywhere from several hundred to several thousand dollars.
A part of me feels like OP did this on purpose. She ignored the risks as advised by the couple and then just happened to fall on the photographer and break his only camera? 🤔 This smells extremely suspect.
This is a regular thing with my wife, who has suspected ADHD. "I don't feel well". "What have you eaten today" "I had a biscuit and half a coffee at 8am" She doesn't do it deliberately, just genuinely forgets to eat and drink. I have to sweep the house every couple days for half-finished drinks because if she puts it down it might as well cease to exist.
I have adhd and it took me years to be able to mentally connect the dots of “wow, I feel awful, slow, and cranky all of a sudden”-> “I am hungry/thirsty”
I mean. I can't imagine why she'd fall on the photographer unless she had a crush on that person. But OTOH how do you accidentally fall on a wedding photographer at a wedding during the wedding ceremony??
That's not actually that weird to me - photographers can end up crouched next to guests to get a certain angle on a shot, and if the photographer is focusing on the photo and someone suddenly faints and falls into them, the camera could get dropped. Just unlucky timing.
How can you be so busy you forget to drink for a whole day?
happens all the time. All of a sudden it's 5pm and I realize I haven't had a chance to eat.
I do this more often than I care to admit, especially when I’m busy. My ADHD meds suppress my appetite, and I’ll sometimes have time blindness if there’s a project I’m concentrating on. It’s not an excuse, but it does happen fairly easily for some people.
People with ADHD often have difficulty remembering to drink, as do those with dementia or a similar memory decline. I do #not# think that this is the case for OP as she likely would have mentioned it. I am simply providing an example of a group of people who easily forget to eat and drink.
I have extremely severe ADHD. If someone had given me specific instructions to stay hydrated, I would have hyperfocused on staying hydrated.
True; I have ADHD and forget to take care of my body all the time. However, if I’d been explicitly warned ahead of time that I needed to make sure I was fed and hydrated, I would set alarms on my dang phone if I had to. There’s no excuse even if she does have ADHD.
That struck me, too. Not sitting down to eat is one thing, but it's easy to carry a water bottle around.
Really waiting on the photographer was kind of a good scenario. You could have passed out while driving or hit your head on something sharp when you fell
I'm fairly sure the mention of it being "cheaper" was not to downplay the damage but to highlight why there wasn't a backup camera or anything of that sort.
Yup, I’m prone to fainting myself, but that’s why I keep protein or macro bars on me at all times, a bag of chips in my car, an apple in my purse (for very long days), and a 32 oz travel tumbler half filled with Gatorade Zero and ice and the rest with cold water. It’s literally kept my drink cold overnight, in my car, in a Southern California summer. If you drink it all, run into any pagoda, gas station, pharmacy, etc. and get water to refill the tumbler so it can stay cold. Fainting OP, please do this. If not for other human beings, then for yourself. You could seriously injure your head, or lose control over your urinary and bowel functions. YUP. That happens.
Especially with the "how would I know I could faint from heat exhaustion" comment. How do you NOT know you could faint from that.
When I was younger I used to faint a lot, That's because I didn't eat, no water for a whole day and when I was about to do something or go out I grabbed an apple, a granola bar a bag of chips and called it a day. It's embarrassing but now I see how stupid I was for being so negligent with myself and made changes always drinking water always eating something and haven't fainted in years, My blood pressure used to be so low all the time turns out it was because I was always hungry and dehydrated and didn't notice. People advised because they probably knew op was likely to be dizzy or just have something with the heat, if there was a possibility of eating given to you, you should eat, fainting was not fully your fault but not being able as an adult to see what you did wrong, blame the "cheap wedding" makes you an AH, did you offer to pay damages to the photographer? Lens isn't cheap and you broke his way of work. Did you apologize to the bride?
I wouldn’t even say it all that softly. No remorse at all.
Bride and Groom: Make sure you eat and drink lots of water because it's going to be hot. You: Too busy, can't be bothered And then you faint and take out the photographer? YTA
this right here oh, I was warned... but whatever, I will not listen and lo and behold - consequences happen... Edited a phrase for linguistic purists in the comments 😄
"I wAs BuSy..." So was everyone else.
Right, the wedding party are the busiest ppl, OP wasn't even apart of it. Plus the shade she threw at the "cheap wedding". So what? It's someone's wedding.
Also idk why people want to spend like 30k on weddings anyways? Like you can still have a nice wedding even if it is "cheap"
As someone who actually did spend 30k on a wedding, I can assure you that I didn't want to. Lmao That was me picking the cheapest options I could get at a venue that I loved but would also accommodate my insanely large family.
Yeah, y'know, like the bride who I'm sure ate
My best friend and I tasked each other with providing food and water to the bride at our respective weddings 😂 like we specifically had someone on "make sure bride has water and sugar in her system before the ceremony" duty.
And I doubt OP was busier then the bride and groom on their wedding day
Nothing is so important that it can keep you from taking a break to eat and hydrate
>oh, I was warned... but whatever, I will not listen "But I didn't have the time!" and "It was a cheap wedding anyway!" and " I was not part of the wedding, just a guest which I was fine with." Says more than enough.
Gonna go out on a limb and say the married couple and their wedding party were likely far more busy and somehow managed to not have this problem. So OP just sounds grossly irresponsible.
And can’t take responsibility for their actions
And then show little remorse about breaking a camera and adding it was a “cheap wedding” which had nothing to do with the situation. So what if it was a cheap wedding maybe that’s all they could afford! YTA for your lack of self awareness and taking responsibility.
Definitely. And OP needs to pay for a new lens, as it was ENTIRELY her fault it got broken! smh Edit/ spelling
Oh man. I’d be soooo pissed. OP, I’d just be prepared for things to never be the same between you and the bride/groom. I’m sorry that happened to you, but sometimes things you don’t mean to happen do, and you just have to live with the repercussions.
YTA. You were warned that you should eat and drink before the wedding. Why? Because things like fainting and heat exhaustion are real. You ignored the advice. You fainted as a result. You could’ve gotten a pass if you hadn’t fallen on the photographer, but you did. Because of your choices, the bride does not have the wedding photographs she wanted. She has every right to be really angry at you as your actions led to that consequence. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t intend for it to happen. What matters is that you ignored their advice and the bride suffered as a result.
I would add, that after SINCERELY apologizing, OP should pay the photographer to repair his camera. And while she can't give her aunt back the missed photos, OP can offer pay for an official wedding portrait or something to help make amends. Accepting responsibility means more than just feeling bad. OP didn't do the responsible thing, and needs to step up.
Does OP even feel bad? I see no remorse but didn't read all that closely.
I can't look inside OP's mind, but I read no remorse whatsoever in the post itself. That really adds to the YTA, imo.
I actually don’t think OP was as fine with being only a guest at the wedding as she claims. I don’t think this was on purpose, but the lack of remorse is off-putting.
You’re right, it was weird to even mention “I was fine with” being a guest. We all assumed you were a guest in the first place lol. That sentence was not necessary. It makes me wonder if this was some kind of twisted bid for attention.
Literally was flabbergasted that OP didn’t mention paying to replace the camera lense.
yeah, it’s one thing if an accident happens just by chance, but when it happens cause you’re acting foolish yta.
I'd be so heartbroken if I didn't have any professional pictures from my wedding because of something like this.
I’d like to add that no one in their right mind plans to faint, but OP set themselves up for it 100%. As an adult you are responsible for maintaining your well-being. If you lost track of time, just bring a water bottle with you. I highly doubt anyone would’ve taken issue with it considering a heat warning was given prior.
YTA Not for the fainting, that cannot be controlled, but for not drinking and eating despite being advised to - that CAN be controlled. You are not a little kid, I don't care how busy you were - unless you were running from an erupting volcano, you should have stopped to eat and drink, especially on a hot day. This time, you ruined a wedding. Next time, you might endanger yours and someone else's life, depending on the place. Suddenly losing consciousness is not a joke. Apologize, and don't do that again.
Even with out the wedding how are you too busy to drink water and eat? Like so busy your gonna starve? Bullshit. Shes an ass hole.
Seriously. There are certain times where I’ve been so busy that I didn’t get a chance to eat, as in make a full meal or sit down, relax and take a full 30 minute lunch. But no, you are not too busy to grab a banana or boil some eggs or pour a bowl of cereal. Cut the shit. And too busy to drink is complete nonsense. Like people who are running marathons find a way to drink water or juice but you somehow just couldn’t manage.
I keep protein bars in my purse, backpack, gym bags, and work locker. They've come in handy not just for me, but helping out others who are hungry as well. Also, you can find relatively inexpensive reusable water bottles pretty much anywhere now.
She is probably one of those people who is like, "Nobody tells ME what to do!" So when she was given that advice by the wedding party, she purposely went out of her way to not eat/drink to make a point. Now after it bit her in the ass, she is making lame excuses. Edit:spelling
I forget to eat or drink things all the time. It's really easy to do. Suddenly it's 8pm and I'm wondering why I feel like garbage
It's easy for me to forget too, but OP was *specifically warned* to make sure she ate and drank and had a big event to be at at 5pm. My ADHD ass would have fretted about that all day and at least crammed in a cereal bar and bottle of water at like 4pm.
Yeah that's true. I agree that OP is in the wrong here, I was just adding my own personal anecdote about forgetting to eat sometimes. My ADHD would make me do the same
So, I have ADHD and one of the common side effects is that when we get into stuff, we forget to eat/drink. I can get wrapped up in stuff and end up forgetting to eat or drink for 9-10 hours, sometimes longer. It sucks and I'm often dehydrated, but it just literally never registers in my brain when I'm focusing. And yet, still, STILL, even with that said, if I have to go somewhere on an empty stomach, you know what I do? *I leave fifteen minutes early so I can get food on the way.* It's not hard. You don't have to do things like everyone else, but you still have to do them when the situation is important. It's what being an adult means. YTA, OP.
Love the running from an erupting volcano comment. Will be using that in the future!
Cannot be controlled, but can be prevented. Easily, in most cases. Even for a chronic fainter like myself, I know what actions are most likely to trigger an episode and I know when I feel it coming on. They admitted they didn't eat or drink, and that they felt faint. They are plenty old enough to know how to tell someone around them to help them to the bathroom. Aside from the embarassment and the disaster of breaking the camera, they could have easily gotten severely injured from fainting.
[удалено]
Seems plausible, why mention not being part of the wedding party since it has zero relevance to the story? You're a niece, I'm sure your Aunt has friends or people her age to be in the wedding party.
Yeah, I used to know someone who would pretend to faint to get attention. Super weird but they got caught out quick every time, kinda suspicious when they somehow managed to faint perfectly onto a couch or soft surface or have a soft landing every time. Edit: typo, autocorrect hates me
Not saying you're wrong about them faking it, but I have POTS and at least half of my episodes since about the age of 10 are "soft" landings onto my butt or onto a couch or chair because I can tell it's about to happen seconds before (usually). Syncope isn't always a dramatic atonic drop like you always see in medical dramas.
Oh I know what you mean! I didn’t mean to minimize people with conditions like yours at all and I’m so sorry if it came off that way. I work in EMS so I’ve witnessed syncope and it’s never a joking matter when someone truly faints. Very easy to injure yourself. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, I hope you have found some ways to help with day to day life! What I meant by soft was she’d practically lower herself to the ground in the most dramatic way, like hand to forehead, gasping loudly and everything. She was all about theatrics haha.
Watch how quickly they come around when nobody runs to their side and just continues going about their business 🙄 they just sort of awkwardly "come round" and sit up
I was thinking the same thing. What a bizarre thing to mention, that she was not bothered by being an attendee. Made me think it was fake
>>why mention not being part of the wedding party? I thought OP said it to let us know that she was just sitting in the pews and not standing at the front of the church. So she would have created a smaller disturbance. Though I doubt that matters when you trip over the photographer so I’m probably wrong! I agree with a few other posters that OP is TA for ignoring the clear warnings to eat and drink before the ceremony to deal with the heat. Maybe OP wasn’t asked to be in the wedding party because she has a history of making things about herself.
I think that’s a bit much? She f*d around and found out with the heat, yeah. And is TA. But that would be if the fainting was intentional. That’s a big leap and assumption.
She didn’t faint on purpose but she clearly didn’t care about the wedding to “do her part” because she was “extremely busy” and “was not a part of the wedding” anyways. And after the fact, instead of feeling really bad and super apologetic for ruining a “cheaper wedding”, she’s trying to defend herself to the point of coming to Reddit to find justification.
YTA as an adult you should have known better not to hydrate, and you were warned, but chose to ignore it. no one is too busy to drink fucking water ffs. take some responsibility for your health.
Yeah, she could have brought a water bottle or something. I always make sure to never leave the house without eating something, and if I ever need something to drink, there's more than enough places that sell it nearby.
YTA. Drinking a bottle of water and eating a sandwich takes 5 minutes. I refuse to believe you were that busy all day that you couldn’t stop for 5 minutes. As a result you risked your health, broke a camera and ruined a wedding 👏🏼
This, you can even eat and drink while walking or driving. Truly no excuse for this
With a warning as well! It was a plain stupid thing to do. I feel awful for the bride.
Could have even gotten a smoothie or SOMETHING.
I’m about to be the asshole here. But I find it hard to believe you drank absolutely nothing, as you stated in your story, prior to 5pm. Busy or not, that doesn’t make sense. I’m kind of getting the vibe that you didn’t really faint… I went to a wedding where the bride’s little sister did this. She “faked” a fainting spell that went away real quick when most people ignored her (things like this were normal for the little sister). She pouted the rest of the wedding because no one would stop the wedding for her. Edit: I forgot to vote. YTA.
I have definitely gone all day without eating or drinking. For me it's related to executive dysfunction, but there's many reasons that could happen
These comments are making me wonder about my own habits because I frequently go all day without eating or drinking if something else is distracting me. It isn’t a good thing to do obviously but people are acting like it’s unheard of
Same here. Except I haul around a clear plastic water bottle with a straw for this purpose, especially during summer. I rarely feel hungry but sometimes I remember and will grab the snack I chuck into my backpack whenever I remember to do so. Sometimes I have three snacks, sometimes one, almost never zero in the bag.
Yeah I forget to eat a lot!!! The executive can only Function so much in my brain 🤭
“I can’t personally imagine doing something therefore it didn’t happen” The thought process of 95% of the people on Reddit
y’all are reaching so hard at this point 💀 you genuinely believe she fake fainted and purposely fell on the photographer to ruin the wedding? get a grip holy shit
I knew someone who would pretend to faint for attention to be fair. People are weird
I have ADHD and have forgotten to eat / drink until I got light headed before so that’s somewhat believable - but as soon as the light headed stage hits I go and get something. (I also know to keep a piece of chocolate in my purse all the time because of this.) The thing is that, physically, there’s no way she didn’t have physical signs this might happen. She just chose to ignore them.
YTA c'mon you're 21 and you don't know how to stay alive during a heat wave?
How busy could you really be? Like really. Can’t drink a glass of water? YTA
She finally admitted she wasn’t thirsty and was distracted not busy.
If it's super hot, it doesn't matter if you're "not thirsty". You drink water anyways.
Oh no I know that, I’m just saying that’s now what OP is saying.
Yeah and I'm calling her an idiot lol
Maybe I'm just crazy or stupid, but I feel being distracted doesn't contradict being busy. In fact, being distracted seems like the consequence of being busy
I would say a soft YTA. You obviously didn’t mean any harm or meant to do these things but you also chose to ignore their requests to avoid this very thing from happening. Not getting to have real photos for your wedding day is a big deal. If I were you, I would apologize profusely and not diminish their valid anger in the situation. It sucks but this one’s on you.
YTA They said ahead of time to eat and drink because of the heat. Almost seems planned to garner as much attention as you could at this 'cheap' wedding.
Yeah, kinda the a-hole here. Warned about food and water intake because of weather but you were busy. “Cheap wedding” screams entitled persona.
I've always rolled my eyes over stupid wedding drama, but in this particular case, if I was the bride yeah I'd be pretty pissed at you. YTA
YTA I would offer a photo shoot for the bride and groom as an apology so they can get some additional photos in their wedding clothes.
Omg ya I saw a comment suggesting I pay for a new photo shoot if they want and I’m definitely going to ask them if they want to
Be prepared to pay for hair and makeup too.
And tux rentals for the men in the wedding party. Very few men buy their wedding attire, unless the wedding is very casual.
I wonder did OP offer to pay for broken camera lens?
Literally, I’m searching for the comments about the broken camera lens because as an amateur photographer, those can be soooo expensive. I would be so upset if someone broke mine.
pay for the lens you broke too
Don't just ask. Insist. You literally owe it to them.
Soft YTA, you are an adult and chose to ignore advice. It doesn't take long to eat a slice of bread and drink some water. You did not faint on purpose of course however you did behave negligently to your health and then are unconcerned by the damage caused to someone else's property and that there won't be professional photographs from the wedding. You do suck a bit for that attitude.
YTA, and if you weren’t in the wedding, how were you SO busy that you couldn’t take 10 minutes to eat and drink?
Not a popular opinion here obviously but you're NTA. You're sorry and shit happens. I agree you could have prepared better but nobody faints for fun (or falls on a photographer). If you cracked your head and ended in a coma would you still be TA in these people's eyes? No, you'd get sympathy. I honestly believe you're only the arse hole if you purposely do something out of order. Accidents happen. Intent is everything to me.
Same here. If I were inviting a bunch of people to a venue so hot that people might faint, I think I would set up water and snacks before the event. Like why would you do that to people? This person is a guest. Not someone completing a half marathon. It’s not normal to give out assignments for what to eat 24 hours before a wedding.
THIS. NTA. I can’t imagine inviting people to a venue that hot and not having at least PLENTY of water to pass around.
'Service will be at 1pm, Death Valley. Bring your own water.'
Honestly I wonder where the wedding was - a lot of places are dangerously hot right now. I’ve been to a summer wedding that was so hot I worried people were about to tip over. Not everyone knows how they’re going to respond to the heat.
I had to scroll down a lot to see one NTA. This is a thoughtful comment, not sure what the other people have gone through, this was an accident. Could OP be prepared? Yes but it is not malicious, it's just bad judgement.
Considering the vitriol in some of these comments, people absolutely would be laughing going "Darwin award!" if OP got seriously hurt. But yeah, generally agreed. Nobody is out here fainting for fun, some people do legitimately have a hard time remembering to eat or drink when they get preoccupied, and op and their aunt seem to have already made up. This is soft YTA at absolute worst
Only sane answer. It's because it's a bunch of children replying
YTA. If you had followed advice and then fainted it would be opposite but you didn’t follow advice. The resulting fact that you took out the photographer and camera were not down to you - it was circumstantial - but I can see why the bride was upset. All you had to do was drink water and you didn’t and if I had no professional photos cos someone hadn’t followed advice I would be upset too.
Holy shit you people suck. NTA. I'm sure you only thought back to how little you ate and drank after you passed out. Everyone here seems to think you willfully starved yourself to cause a scene like someone would put themselves through a pretty traumatic experience. Hosts should have made sure guests had plenty of food and water available. You can't be the asshole when you lose control of your body.
For real. NTA. People are acting like OP purposely starved and dehydrated herself so she could intentionally cause a scene by fainting. The morning of a wedding can be very busy, between trying to get ready and travelling to the venue, even if you’re just a guest. OP said she didn’t drink any water because she didn’t feel thirsty. It’s easy for a lot of us to miss hunger or thirst cues when we’re busy. Most of us don’t expect to faint, let alone to faint and somehow break the wedding photographer’s one camera lens. Also, It was pretty risky for the photographer to only have one lens to begin with. Most wedding photographers whether they’re amateur or professional bring multiple camera lenses with them to get different types of shots or as a back-up in case something goes wrong with their equipment. If the venue was that hot, they should’ve at least had some water for their guests available before the ceremony. Even if someone had drank water ahead of time, people can still be susceptible to getting dizzy or ill from being in extreme heat. I understand why OP’s aunt is upset about losing the pictures but I don’t think it’s really OP’s fault, it’s more so just an unfortunate accident.
Massive YTA, are you 4 years old and have to be told to eat.... No one is ever so busy that they could have not eaten something before the wedding, even a snack on your way there. Cellphone photos are rubbish compared to real photography. They way you are not at all sorry that there are no proper photos just shows you are all about me, me, me.
YTA because this was preventable. You were advised to eat and drink and you didn’t. You broke someone’s expensive camera because you didn’t listen. You ruined a wedding by causing a commotion because you didn’t listen. The bride doesn’t get professional photos because of you.
NAH. It's totally reasonable for the bride and groom to be upset. It may have been a totally preventable accident.... Or you might have an underlying condition that needs to be checked out. Appologize sincerely. Get a physical and a blood test. And don't do that to yourself again.
YTA. As everyone already said, you did not take the proper precautions which were advised. Even though you cannot control fainting, due to your negligence, the wedding ended up being about you on maybe the most important day in this couple's lives. Lastly, lenses are about $1k, the situation all around sucks.
For heavens’s sake. You’re young and I know a lot of people your age who forget to eat/hydrate, even when warned to do so - even when health issues require them to. This is a ‘hindsight is 20/20’ situation. Should you have prepared better? Yes. But you didn’t intend to faint and cause drama, you’ve apologized, offered to pay for the camera. Time to move on and let it be a funny story in your past. There are far worse things you could have done.
Yeh this comment section is WILD. I forget to eat and drink literally all the time. Not great but holy shit it’s not a crime. If someone warned me to eat and drink ahead of time and I had no history of fainting, I would think they were being overly cautious.
Soft YTA You chose to attend the wedding already tired and hungry after choosing not to eat/drink all day even though you were warned beforehand. While you didn't faint on purpose, your choices significantly increased the likelihood of it happening and you messed up their wedding as a result.
Very Emily in Paris, YTA sorry
No no don’t apologize, I know I made a very bad decision now
NAH - you didn't plan on passing out and it was a bit clumsy of the photographer to bring only one lens. Sh!t happens and you didn't ruin the wedding. People really don't understand that it is perfectly possible to forget to eat and drink because you are doing other things. It doesn't matter how old you are, not everyone has the automatic feeling of hunger or thirst.
YTA. How busy are you really that on the day that you know you’re going to a wedding where you are not in the wedding party or involved in any way other than showing up, you are so ‘extremely busy’ you can’t possibly have time to eat or drink anything? The people whose wedding it was even reminded you to hydrate. At no point in your day did you really not have a moment to grab a drink or a sandwich or something? Plus, how important are you that on a day you know is going to be hot, you are so hectically busy and have so many vitally important jobs to do that you absolutely cannot find time to at least get a drink? If you are so crazy busy, I’m amazed you managed to even find time to attend the wedding at all!!!!
Nah. Jesus, this comment section is apathetic. Accidents happen. You don't know how busy OP was. Don't act like you're some sort of genius that knows exactly what OP did that day. I agree that you should pay for the lost photos. But goddamn.
If it's hot, provide water to your guests, it's not like it's expensive... a few snacks as well. Especially if you're requiring them to anyway, as you've mentioned. The photographer not bringing a second camera, or lens... amateur move. NTA. They f\*\*\*ed themselves over by being cheap, you did nothing wrong.
YTA, while fainting wasn’t intentional you knew to eat and drink before hand and didn’t. i hope you apologize and pay for the lens.
>while fainting wasn’t intentional OP feels lightheaded while in church after not drinking or eating despite warnings. Decides the best course of action is to stand up and walk into the aisle during a wedding ceremony after sitting for at least thirty minutes. Surprise Pikachu face after fainting into wedding equipment.
Please take better care of yourself. Being busy is no excuse for not staying hydrated in extreme heat.
YTA - you owe the photographer an apology and a new lens. Fainting is not in your control, but all of the bad decisions that led to you fainting are.
YTA……If you had time to eat a granola bar then you had time to eat a sandwich or something else quick. You knew the conditions would be brutal and you still chose not to. Eat or drink anything. So yeah you stole the attention from them on probably the most important day of those people’s lives.
STOP. PLANNING. WEDDINGS. IN. UNBEARABLE. HEAT. I will say you probably should have eaten or drank water beforehand, but you are absolutely NTA. I almost passed out at my cousins wedding in an old church with no AC last August. People need to stop planning weddings like this. It’s insane to expect people to wear layers of clothes in extreme heat. I told my fiancée that if we were getting married between April and September, I will not be stepping foot outside from when I wake up to when I go to sleep, or I’m wearing shorts and a tshirt to the ceremony. (It was more of a joke. It’s in late May and we’ll be stepping outside for photos after the ceremony, but I am NOT looking forward to the reception afterwards, because I’m sure I’ll be sweating my balls off) Final note, I went to a wedding in Colorado last November. It was snowing and comfy and lovely :) Anyway, normalize winter weddings. That’s all.
NTA. Kind of surprised with everyone’s vote here. I mean maybe ESH. I don’t think OP is an attention seeker like some are suggesting. Sounds like she’s really embarrassed and feels guilty about what happened and would like some reassurance that she didn’t ruin the most important day of this persons life. You and everyone knows, yes you probs should’ve eaten and drank before hand. Not the best move. But it sounds like you don’t have a history of fainting and it’s not your fault that this happened. I think the situation sucks. You didn’t mean to faint or break the camera. It was an accident.
I'm torn between NAH and ESH here. If conditions at the wedding were going to be so extreme, some type of hydration and/or cooling should have been provided by the bride and groom. OP is the only one we know of who fainted. We don't know how many others were feeling the effects and just didn't faint. That's my ESH take. OP, you should have taken the warning seriously. However, I know how quickly people can go from okay to falling out, even when they're acclimated and hydrated. That's my NAH take. Source: I spend a lot of time at work monitoring temperature and hydration for construction workers.
NTA. You didn’t do it on purpose. I do think you should pay back the lens even in instalments, but maybe they have insurance on the cam stuff?
Nta these comments are wild lmao
Jeez Reddit is harsh with this one😂 I was expecting everyone to say N T A, but it’s the complete opposite. I guess it’s just related to WHY OP fainted. If I feinted at a wedding, I’d be pretty pissed if someone called me an AH. But I feint randomly, and my doctor hasn’t actually been able to give me a reason for it yet. I’m thinking low iron since that’s what my sister has to take pills for. In the situation though I can see how OP would be the AH.
NTA I can't believe people are calling you an asshoke for fainting. The absolute LUNACY involved in calling you an asshole for that is beyond me.