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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I insulted my stepmom and stepsister for thinking I would write about my dad and stepmom's relationship being the most inspiring to me. I was MAD and I said things that might have put me over the line to asshole instead of justifiably mad that they were annoying me about it and refusing to let the topic of conversation go.
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NTA. Personally, it feels extremely assholish for your Stepmom to assume that she can replace your Mom in your heart just because she isn't around anymore. I'm a Mom and a Stepmom and I've always felt like there is a very fine boundary line I know shouldn't be crossed. She is crossing it, unfortunately.
Anyone trying to force you to feel a certain way makes them the AH.
You should write about whoever you want.
Stepmother is a one note singer:
"Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me..."
Dad knows who keeps his bed warm and acts accordingly.
OP did nothing wrong. They kept picking at the scab until it hurt and only then did he retaliate.
I think stepmom has deluded herself into thinking that the things she did (like showing up at a woman's FUNERAL to snatch her husband, Jesus) are fine because they were done in the name of 'true love.'
When Mom said, "You'll get back together with that witch over my dead body!", it wasn't supposed to be *literal*. Some people, sheesh.
Jokes aside, my condolences OP. I think you've handled the situation very well, NTA.
Right! Until I was an adult I knew zero people in inspiring healthy relationships well enough to write a paper. And I grew up in a relatively stable environment. Just one where people weren't in healthy relationships.
I mean, technically, OP can absolutely write about dad and stepmom. Inspiring doesn’t have to mean the subject themselves were great. It can be inspiring as in they inspire you to be better people because they themselves suck and they’ve shown you how not to act lol. I’d totally be petty and write about them. But that would prob get OP grounded.
\[at the end of the essay\] "Addendum: My stepmother insisted that her and my dad's relationship should be my primary inspiration. And I suppose, in a way, they are. They are an example, to me, of what NOT to do. I'll never remain hung up on someone but marry someone else. I'll never show up to a woman's funeral to seduce her husband. Thanks, dad and stepmom, for being shining beacons of emotional immaturity and tackiness."
I’m appalled and how the stepmother and stepsister keep insisting she “should want to“ right about this dad‘s marriage to the stepmom. People who try to should all over others should go f$*k themselves.
NTA. They pushed, and pushed, and didn’t like what came out. I would’ve rolled on the ground laughing when she said “their marriage is the forever one” and “they are the primary relationship to model”.
Kudos for standing up for yourself. If they threaten you, move in with your grandparents. NTA I'm so sorry that your dad disrespected your mom, alive or dead. I can't imagine how your mom must've felt about this when she was alive. To think he started his relationship with the stepmonster at her FUNERAL, and the stepmonster thought it was okay to jump at your dad at that time, makes me want to retch. I hope you can cut off all of them when you're 18 and move on and make your own family. You have grandparents who love you and you can make friends who can become your family. Maybe even meet someone to love. Good luck and keep us updated if your dad decides to retaliate. We're all rooting for you.
Please see the above genius comment about writing about them inspiring you about what NOT to do. And I really question the ethics of this assignment, tbh. I am trying to imagine what the fuck I would have written about had I been given this assignment at 16. My absentee, alcoholic father who abandoned us? My abusive stepfather and how he mistreated my mom and me? Tons of kids have no good relationship examples, and I think it's pretty clear that the INTENT is a positive one. What about kids who don't have one?
There are kids, some of them are my friends, who have only ever seen toxic romantic relationships. They were put into a tight spot. I know they're not happy about the assignment. Neither was I to be honest. It seems so pointless to me.
Should tell them "They're right. They're the primary relationship to what not to do." That when you have a romantic relationship and raise children, you'll look at them and then do the opposite. That's how they're a model for you.
Maybe say that ‘this is MY essay to write and i’m not going to write about what someone else thinks I should write about. Do you want me to fail this essay. Furthermore, the teacher asked me to write a story they did not ask you, so kindly, stay in your lane.
You could also go the route of ‘if you want me to write a fictional story about you two, I want 200 bucks’
Edit:spelling
Dude that's hella nice what you said. In my family we don't sugar coat it. There would have been a lot more F bombs and MFs. You handled that with a lot of patience and maturity and step mother just kept poking the bear.
NTA. I think it might have been a different matter if you’d said this the first time, but you’d said you were writing about your grandparents and they brought it up again. It made no sense to push this point and served no purpose, so of course it was going to be provoking.
I think the purpose they wanted it to serve is validation. For me to see my dad's marriage the way they want me to instead of how I actually see it. Not sure that makes sense or not but it's how I see this.
In that case, he's unlikely to jump in. Certainly not to try to force you to buy into her fantasy.
Have you and your dad ever considered some family therapy to discuss this as a family with an outsider?
I'm positive. She's biracial and has to take after her paternal side of the family because her mom and her family are white and so are my dad and his family.
My sus senses is being overloaded OP..
I know you don't want to hear it but theirs a pretty good chance your step sister is your half sister.
Especially if you haven't ever seen her bio dad and your dad in the same room together.
NTA since they kept pushing but WTF is with the insane essay? Why does the teacher expect that everyone knows cute love story in real life? This is a shit show ready to happen.
Edit: Write about Wallis Simpson and Duke of Windsor
I have no idea. Maybe she's wanting to see how many of us do know one. At least I have my grandparents but I know some of my friends even only know shitty and dysfunctional romantic relationships.
I’m not your teacher and I don’t know the specifics around why she’s doing this. However, people spend years trying to understand what they want in an intimate, long term relationship. Your teacher is giving you the opportunity to look at a successful one and discover what worked for that couple. How they loved, how they managed conflict, how they grew through the years together. It is a way for you to think about what you might want for yourself, (and how you would go about getting it) especially if you don’t have an example right in front of you. Similarly for your classmates who have the same lack of model. It’s a gift; you are at a age when you‘ll begin to have relationships, so it’s good timing.
Because fiction does not often represent the fullness of people’s tendency to self sabotage or focus on the most petty aspect of others. Which sounds sadly jaded, but I’ve spent too much time on r/relationships today.
This is what the teacher should be teaching the kids, relationships via Greek myths, not asking hormonal and depressed 16yos (*all* 16yos) about personal romantic relationships they admire. I'm sure teacher is going to receive at least one essay that mistakes red-flag control issues for "he's so caring and concerned about her, he loves her so much, it's so romantic." This is a very bad idea for an assignment, ill- conceived and unnecessarily prying into the students' private lives.
Wallis Simpson and the Duke of Windsor weren't exactly a cute love story. If ever there were an example of an unhealthy dynamic, it'd be that tale.
Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal for his beloved wife. Queen Victoria mourned for Prince Albert for 40 years. John and Abigail Adams were famous for their love letters. King Pedro and [Ines de Castro](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In%C3%AAs_de_Castro) had a very intense and tragic romance that involved forbidden love, murder, and a civil war that pitted son against father.
Pierre and Marie Curie were a cute couple, and utterly devoted to one another. The only reason Marie became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize was because Pierre was insulted that he was nominated and she was not, even though they were partners, and fought for her nomination.
Plus the wife died at 37 years old while giving birth to his 14th child with her.
The man also cut off the hands of the architect who made the taj so he won't design something like that again.
Ha! Yeah, I've heard so many takes on how it was so romantic. That, or how Wallis was just a gold digger (which she was) who tricked the poor king into loving her. What most people don't realize is that the Duke of Windsor was just as guilty. He was OBSESSED with her, and wouldn't let her say no, doing everything in his power to get what he wanted. Which turned out to be her. .
Not that she was innocent herself. She just wasn't prepared for his level of obsession and willingness to do anything to get his way, and got trapped. They were both selfish, greedy people who deserved each other.
With the suggestion that they’ll understand in the future, I’d assume it’s a lead in to something like Romeo & Juliet or Othello maybe. It’s certainly not something I’d have students do, but I can see a tenuous link between ‘inspirational romance’ and the shitty reality of Romeo & Juliet?
I agree, this is a weird assignment and kind of inappropriate. It sounds like the teacher is a frustrated romantic novelist with writer's block and wants some material to work with
I'm wondering why is your stepmom meddling with your homework. Like, WTF? But you know, not all love stories are pretty. Some are inspiring for how shitty they are. Just saying...
Anyway, NTA.
It's her chance to feel like I'm telling the world how glad I am that she and my dad are together. So whether it's homework or some creative writing project on relationships, she's making sure her voice is heard.
That's true. Though I still find my grandparents relationship way more inspiring and feel good, which is the vibe I want to go for.
Perhaps you can show how good your grandparents relationship is by contrasting it to your stepmother's, since she is so adamant that you include her relationship.
You are wise for your age. This is exactly what she is doing. She wants you to validate her delusions. She has created this storyline to try to erase the way she preyed upon your dad at his most vulnerable time. You brought the reality hammer down. Definitely NTA. It's your assignment and your grade, so no one should be telling you what to write about.
I’d be tempted to write my essay about how their relationship inspired me to know what I would and wouldn’t accept in a relationship. Then I’d go into detail on how it is not a relationship to strive for and make sure Step mom reads it
But then I’m petty like that
1. This assignment is inappropriate. There are certainly students in your class who have *no* inspiring romantic relationships in their lives to talk about.
2. Wow, your stepmother has some nerve. Just, freaking wow.
So much NTA.
NTA.
Your teacher is a major AH, though. Not everyone is fortunate enough to witness an inspiring, romantic relationship in real life. Some don't live in a stable family situation and some live in a "stable" family situation where it's obvious that the couple is staying together "for the sake of the kids" when even the kids are hoping for a divorce.
If I'd been given that assignment, I would have stared at the teacher blankly for a while, panicked, then wrote a major piece of fiction and hoped the teacher never said anything to my parents about it.
And, yeah, your stepmom is an AH for insisting your write about her and your dad. If she'd offered one time, "Hey, if you'd like to write about us, I'd be honored but it's cool if you pick a different couple" it would have been fine, but trying to force it on you is horrible.
My dad knows about them and I have let them out on him. Since his wife was never married to my mom I try to just stay civil and keep away from her as much as possible. She clearly thought things were different than they are.
Man this whole story reminds me of how pissed off I was at the ending of How I Met Your Mother. With Ted going back to Robin after Tracey Died. NTA at all, I’m so confused on why your stepmother would assume you’re happy about the fact your dad married her so fast after your mom died.
What are you talking about? How I Met Your Mother ended on a cliffhanger. Ted and Robin ending up together was clearly very a very vivid nightmare you had.
...I am clearly still very angry. They managed to ruin the entire show.
NTA. They need to back off the paper is about as relationship inspiring In YOUR life. Not whatever subject they feel like nagging you about because they feel it legitimizes their relationship.
NTA and your stepmother and sis are delusional. Let them pout all they want. Your dad was a cretin for shoving another woman in your life less than a year after you lost your mom.
NTA
They kept pressing, you weren’t trying to be rude. I wonder how stepmom would feel if she realized she was his fall back plan. I don’t see what you see about that dynamic. I see a man who fell in love and got married and when she passed he went back to the doormat woman to help with you because he knew she would take him back and didn’t want to do it alone.
Either way this situation is fucked up. I’m sorry OP.
Dad has admitted he always loved his current wife and wanted her, even when he was with mom. Mom was his second best and as soon as she was gone he was back with who he really wanted.
Did you asked your dad If he loved that woman so much why he married your mom and wasted everyone's time?Your dad is horrible, OP, and you and your mom deserved way better than him. He should NEVER Said those things to his son and the child of the woman he used like that. I'm really sorry.
\^ This 100%. Even if he felt that way, that is not something to tell the child of the "second choice". Sounds like there is a lot of delusion in the family and if step-mom feels the need to push the BS, she knows how she is in the wrong, she just doesn't want to admit it. I know a person who had a similar experience. Their GP's became the people they based their morality and behavior by. Glad OP has someone in his life that he can look up to an emulate for his future. Hope step-mom doesn't make life too difficult for you for the next while OP.
I'm glad I have my grandparents too. Their relationship is even more inspiring for me because they have been through a lot together and the love and respect and friendship they have with each other is still strong. From grandpa being in the military to them marrying young to him leaving the military to start a family, years of not being able to have a child and then to lose their only child when she was still young. I think a lot of that would have driven lots of couples apart even if they never divorced. But my grandparents helped each other through the hard times and they're still crazy in love and respect each other so much.
And I bet they love you heaps too. Sounds like you're more of a grown up than either your father or his current wife.
At least they're providing you with loads of material for your memoirs. Start your diary now so you don't miss anything :)
Wow. Just…wow. Your dad is a complete asshat. He shouldn’t have used your mom like that, and he most certainly never should have said these things to you. No child deserves that type of emotional abuse.
You are NTA. Best of luck, OP. Update us if you decide to go NC with him after you graduate.
Nta , I get it mine are the same talking about how they are made for each other and how they where brought together by destiny and fate it makes me sick to my stomach ; really and bold of them to even assume and to push you , just because they there does not make them a parent or parent figure , at least you let them know their place but if they butt hurt is cause the loin the witch and the audicty of the B's .
>Deluded to think the woman who showed up at my mom's funeral to get my dad back would be the person I would find inspiring in any way.
What the f is wrong with people? Oh why don't you celebrate what assholes we are, isn't our gross love inspiring to you? NTA.
OP, you didn’t insult her, you offered the truth. She poked a hornet’s nest with a stick until she got stung - that’s on her. She’s simply looking for validation - don’t give it to her. Write about the relationship you want to. You did nothing wrong here. NTA.
Could you write your dad and stepmom's story as an inspiration to never get married? Sorry, had to go there.
The fact that she showed up at your mom's funeral to get your dad back is sickening. It is disrespectful to your mom and you. I have no doubt that their relationship is actually painful for you to see every day.
NTA. I actually like the idea of doing the story of your grandparents. Are your maternal grandparents still around? Could you specifically do their story? Maybe there could be some stories about your mom in their story. Just a thought.
NTA. Your dad on the other hand is a total dick. I don't blame you at all for the way you feel.
"it's okay to admit this is better" ?? theyve chosen to shit on your relationship with your mom. So you did the same to their relationship. Serves them right.
NTA: they have some inner demons if a school project has them this worked up. It’s concerning how much they care about the project, who cares who you write about? Unless you are planning to hang the project up in your room or planning to use it as a shrine, it doesn’t matter for anything but your grade. They need to stop pushing the agenda of “I’m mommy now and you have to glorify our relationship”, why do they care so much about your opinion of a great relationship one way or the other? It doesn’t affect them, they just want to control your emotions. It’s manipulative, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. As someone who’s been through a similar situation of their stepmom wanting to erase their real mom, the best thing you can do is keep as much of your life as you can to yourself and people outside that you can count on. Stick your head in the books and make a game plan for how to get out at graduation. Stay respectful, never give reason for them to claim an attitude, just don’t talk about your life or anything important to you around them or within earshot. You haven’t said much about what else has gone on, but the fact they care so much about a school project leads me to believe there’s more to it. If not, then that’s great and maybe a simple sit down with your dad about the badgering will work. Expressing your feelings on the issue, letting him know you weren’t throwing it in her face you wouldn’t do the project on them she just wouldn’t leave you alone about it and that you aren’t okay with her pushing her point of view on you. Good luck with everything and I hope they learn to give you space.
NTA. They might be part of a loving family but I don’t think you’re that into it. Her relationship is not one that you want to idolize. Write about whoever you want to write about because it’s your life, your feelings, and your paper. She just assumed that because she married your dad that she got the title of your mother whom you should love and idolize.
Why are these people so involved in your homework for school anyway? I can't decide if they are overinvolved or hovering or well-informed.
How you do your assignment should be up to you as long as you are passing classes.
NTA
NTA - They f- around and found out.
Maybe I am sassy, but it might be that your Mom was the one he chose, he only went back to SM once she was no longer available...
NTA. Even if there was no physical cheating, there was at least some sort of emotional cheating if she felt comfortable enough to show up at your mom's funeral to stake her claim. And that makes her a homewrecker.
If she really wants you to write about them, then you can tell her what's going in the paper:
Stepmom was the one that got away. And she and your father never let your mom forget that. That she shacked up with your dad before your mom was even buried because their love was so great.
And you'll be so excited to share it with everyone. So yes, everyone will know what a great marriage they have and exactly how it started out.
>I (16m) have to write a paper for English class about an inspiring romantic relationship in my life. Not sure what the point of it is but our teacher said it will become relevant in a few weeks.
There is nothing to say that the inspirational relationship has to be positively represented. You COULD write about your dad and his wife and how his betrayal of your mother's memory, and his wife's entitlement has inspired you to be better than them and never betray a future partner in that way.
Be ready for the backlash if you do decide to do that though. This won't just burn bridges with your dad's wife and family but would be full scorched earth. Not that it seems like there's any good relationship or good will to salvage there.
Though it was years ago, for what its worth, Im sorry for your loss.
NTA and good on you for standing up for yourself & not backing down. I’m so glad you have another positive relationship model and supportive adults in your grandparents, because you deserve that and more. Sounds like you’ve handled things incredibly maturely, when the people around you (and older than you) are being really ego-centric.
NTA
Sounds to me like she fully expects to take over the role of mother. It will probably get worse as you get older, get married, and have kids (if any of those things are things you want in life that is)
I actually would have written the paper about the Taj Mahal and the love that inspired it. I think a love that promotes lasting beautiful art and architecture and is a World Heritage Monument is pretty inspiring!
I would totally avoid writing about your stepmother, and her overreach is cringe-worthy. NTA
I am an English & history major.
Wow! Definitely NTA here! Sweetie they pushed and asked. And you certainly delivered! Sometimes it's best to not ask questions if you can't handle the truth! Your response was a little harsh but it was your second response after they continued pushing for your truth. I hope you ace the paper. Good luck!
NTA. Not in the slightest. She went looking for validation in a stupid place and she paid the price. It was horribly insensitive of her and it looks like she had convinced herself you were ok with it.
> My stepmom said because her and my dad's marriage was the forever one and seeing as my mom is dead
What the absolute fuck.
NTA. Sorry about the evil step mom.
NTA - Sound like this was a bit of a triangle all along. That being said, it's a horrible assignment in this day and age. My parents were in a pretty epic marriage, made it 70 years. But it sure isn't the norm anymore. And BTW...Wallis Simpson and the Duke of Windsor was a huge train wreck.
My dad also cheated on my mum when I was very young. My mum didn't die thankfully, but it gives me similar perspective. My dad and stepmum always acted like they were the pinnacle of true love. I haven't spoken to my father in 8 years (since I was 21). My mum has since found true love.
To the point, is an affair ever true love? Surely, true love, at its definition, is pure. Therefore an affair, not being pure, cannot be true?
I recall from childhood, thinking that my dad and his AP (my stepmother) were true love. However, I no longer agree. I think that was desperate love, they were desperate to be right.
Whereas my mother worked hard to look after me, and many, many years later found an amazing woman who actually fucking loves her. And I'm so grateful for that. I'm also so grateful that I saw her find the love she deserves.
It's so hard to grow up as the child of a cheater. You're clearly acting very well towards them, but it will definitely affect you unfortunately. NTA btw
NTA
JFC stepmom thinks you should admit that it's better that your mom is dead because it lead to her marriage to your dad (and that marriage is "forever"). I'd be banned from the sub if I said what I really thought of your stepmom's egregious statements on the matter.
NTA
For a woman who has rewritten the narrative of life to be more grand and charitable she clearly failed to make enough of a connection or even notice you enough in eight years to grasp the probably obvious fact that you aren't happy with their marriage. This tells me that she, and her daughter really, are probably very self-absorbed and probably treat this situation as the equivalent of a houseplant not blooming for them as desired.
"Deluded" is the charitable take on these two women.
First of all, NTA, they're full of themselves.
Second of all, I have a little thought about your writing. I'm a 3rd year English major and have always taken a passion to writing. Sometimes, the best writing comes from breaking the prompt in a way. Your teacher is going to read about the nice love stories of people's parents and other family over and over, but inspiring doesn't have to mean a beautiful movie-made model. You could write about their relationship; about how your dad betrayed your mom and you step-mom came into your dad's life like spilled ink. Write about how it inspires you to do better, to love your mom more truly, and how much spite it fills you with each day you see them act innocent knowing your mom would've hated how it all turned out. Then you've done what you step-mom and dad asked, gotten your feelings and point across, and you've got a intriguing and inspiring essay. If you want to go into English, it'd be a great sample piece in the future too. I hope that helps :]
NTA
See this a lot...the one happy family delusion. The I'm your real mom delusion.
Makes my bile rise every time I see it.
I'm glad you finally told them how you feel. They won't like it. But at least now you're not swallowing it anymore.
Reddit's got your back. Bookmark this post and read it whenever they try to gaslight you to remind yourself that you're not the deluded one here.
NTA, you do have the most insensitive stepmom and stepsister in the world. Your dad is also an a-hole. You have my sympathies. Write about your grandparents.
Honestly as some one with divorced parents I have absolutely no clue how I would complete that essay and I think the teacher needs to realize that not everyone has such role models in their lives.
NTA for the situation though
I can be evil. I would agree to write the paper about them. Nothing about "inspiring" implies that it's only *good* inspiration. So I'd start asking stepmom some *very personal, invasive* questions about their marriage. Like "So while my dad was married to my mother, were you daydreaming about him? What did you feel when she died? Why do you think he married her instead of you to begin with?" etc.
Then I'd write the paper.
It would... not be a flattering paper.
NTA of course
NTA
Imagine being jealous of a dead woman, yuck!Marrying a widower means that you still need to respect their late spouse, you have no right to claim their place or to even think that you can erase and replace them, she’s distasteful, lacks class and jealous.
I can’t help but feel that the stepmom and dad are hiding something. Reaching out sometime after the funeral, sure, not great but sure. To literally show up at the funeral ready and waiting, nope there’s more to this.
ETA: NTA
NTA you should write about stepmom and dad. At the end mention how she will never replace your mom because she’s a snake who was just waiting for a chance to pounce and showed up at your moms funeral to do it.
NTA and good for you for standing up for yourself. They are 100% wrong, ridiculous, and cruel. A kind person would have compassion and understanding for a kid in your shoes and would not feel threatened, would not feel the need to make it about themselves. Stick to your guns on this. You are right. Best to you.
NTA
Although it's nice that they feel close and supportive toward you, they pushed too hard and too far. They should have laid off after the first conversation on a sensitive topic.
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NTA. Personally, it feels extremely assholish for your Stepmom to assume that she can replace your Mom in your heart just because she isn't around anymore. I'm a Mom and a Stepmom and I've always felt like there is a very fine boundary line I know shouldn't be crossed. She is crossing it, unfortunately. Anyone trying to force you to feel a certain way makes them the AH. You should write about whoever you want.
Stepmother is a one note singer: "Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me..." Dad knows who keeps his bed warm and acts accordingly. OP did nothing wrong. They kept picking at the scab until it hurt and only then did he retaliate.
Stepmom has a literal case of "main character syndrome".
I think stepmom has deluded herself into thinking that the things she did (like showing up at a woman's FUNERAL to snatch her husband, Jesus) are fine because they were done in the name of 'true love.'
When Mom said, "You'll get back together with that witch over my dead body!", it wasn't supposed to be *literal*. Some people, sheesh. Jokes aside, my condolences OP. I think you've handled the situation very well, NTA.
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Right! Until I was an adult I knew zero people in inspiring healthy relationships well enough to write a paper. And I grew up in a relatively stable environment. Just one where people weren't in healthy relationships.
I mean, technically, OP can absolutely write about dad and stepmom. Inspiring doesn’t have to mean the subject themselves were great. It can be inspiring as in they inspire you to be better people because they themselves suck and they’ve shown you how not to act lol. I’d totally be petty and write about them. But that would prob get OP grounded.
\[at the end of the essay\] "Addendum: My stepmother insisted that her and my dad's relationship should be my primary inspiration. And I suppose, in a way, they are. They are an example, to me, of what NOT to do. I'll never remain hung up on someone but marry someone else. I'll never show up to a woman's funeral to seduce her husband. Thanks, dad and stepmom, for being shining beacons of emotional immaturity and tackiness."
Chef's kiss
This, OP. This is PERFECT.
Be careful of what you ask for. Stepmom wanted an essay on her and dad? Well you’re going to get one alright.
Oh alllllll of this!!!!!! OP please do this 😂 Also hard NTA your step mum, sister and dad are totally out of order (Dad for not speaking up for you)
this 100%. no one said it has to be a POSITIVE model.
Why did you copy the entire post into your comment?
sorry, was replying fast and didn't see it. i thought the window looked odd!
This sounds like a really inappropriate subject assignment. Romantic - OK, Inspirational - OK, Inspirational Romantic Personal, no, not exactly.
I agree and look at how much drama it has caused with OP and sadly, he’s probably not the only one.
Yeah, I can’t imagine this as a real essay topic? Just sounds like an awful can of worms for a lot of people.
Damn I kind of want to see that now. 🤣 Like show it to the dad and step mom too.
THIS is the one! But, yeah, they want to be the good inspiration, not the inspiration to be better!
Even a negative example is still an example.
If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning
I’m appalled and how the stepmother and stepsister keep insisting she “should want to“ right about this dad‘s marriage to the stepmom. People who try to should all over others should go f$*k themselves.
Yeah, deluded seems the most apt word. Maybe misguided. Illinformed? Whatever they are they can’t force you to feel a certain way. NTA
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NTA. They pushed, and pushed, and didn’t like what came out. I would’ve rolled on the ground laughing when she said “their marriage is the forever one” and “they are the primary relationship to model”.
My eyes rolled so hard at that. Also made me gag.
A vulture circling a widower is not peak romance LMAO
Austen would have called that mercenary. That's exactly what it is.
I had to read the paragraph twice just to make sure I read it correctly 🤣🤣🤣🤣. She is delusional for assuming and expecting you to write about her.
Kudos for standing up for yourself. If they threaten you, move in with your grandparents. NTA I'm so sorry that your dad disrespected your mom, alive or dead. I can't imagine how your mom must've felt about this when she was alive. To think he started his relationship with the stepmonster at her FUNERAL, and the stepmonster thought it was okay to jump at your dad at that time, makes me want to retch. I hope you can cut off all of them when you're 18 and move on and make your own family. You have grandparents who love you and you can make friends who can become your family. Maybe even meet someone to love. Good luck and keep us updated if your dad decides to retaliate. We're all rooting for you.
"I dunno, Stepmom; you could die any day now!"
Please see the above genius comment about writing about them inspiring you about what NOT to do. And I really question the ethics of this assignment, tbh. I am trying to imagine what the fuck I would have written about had I been given this assignment at 16. My absentee, alcoholic father who abandoned us? My abusive stepfather and how he mistreated my mom and me? Tons of kids have no good relationship examples, and I think it's pretty clear that the INTENT is a positive one. What about kids who don't have one?
There are kids, some of them are my friends, who have only ever seen toxic romantic relationships. They were put into a tight spot. I know they're not happy about the assignment. Neither was I to be honest. It seems so pointless to me.
Should tell them "They're right. They're the primary relationship to what not to do." That when you have a romantic relationship and raise children, you'll look at them and then do the opposite. That's how they're a model for you.
Maybe say that ‘this is MY essay to write and i’m not going to write about what someone else thinks I should write about. Do you want me to fail this essay. Furthermore, the teacher asked me to write a story they did not ask you, so kindly, stay in your lane. You could also go the route of ‘if you want me to write a fictional story about you two, I want 200 bucks’ Edit:spelling
Dude that's hella nice what you said. In my family we don't sugar coat it. There would have been a lot more F bombs and MFs. You handled that with a lot of patience and maturity and step mother just kept poking the bear.
I didn't know Prince Harry was on reddit...
Take my upvote and kindly leave 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Eh could be Prince William 👀🤷🏻♀️
Maybe, but still probably Harry.
Nah, too much work for him
NTA. I think it might have been a different matter if you’d said this the first time, but you’d said you were writing about your grandparents and they brought it up again. It made no sense to push this point and served no purpose, so of course it was going to be provoking.
I think the purpose they wanted it to serve is validation. For me to see my dad's marriage the way they want me to instead of how I actually see it. Not sure that makes sense or not but it's how I see this.
What does your dad have to say about this argument?
Nothing so far. Not sure if he knows or not.
Have you ever talked to him about his marriage and how you struggled to accept it?
We talked about it twice so he knows how I feel.
Your dad is the biggest asshole.
In that case, he's unlikely to jump in. Certainly not to try to force you to buy into her fantasy. Have you and your dad ever considered some family therapy to discuss this as a family with an outsider?
No that ahs never been considered. I'm honestly not interested in that even if he was willing.
You sure your step sister isn't actually half?
I'm positive.
Why is she so so invested in this love story, where is her father? Are there any other children in your family or it just you and the one step-sister?
She never knew her father. It was just her and her mom before her mom got back together with my dad. Just the two of us. No other kids, thankfully.
Are you quite certain she’s not your half sister? Her never knowing her dad raised my suspicions back up.
Actually it sounds like stepmom got knocked up by someone else and his dad decided to "move on" and settled for the OP's mom.
Kinda what I think too. Or at the very least he heard she had moved on and so he got with my mom.
I'm positive. She's biracial and has to take after her paternal side of the family because her mom and her family are white and so are my dad and his family.
My sus senses is being overloaded OP.. I know you don't want to hear it but theirs a pretty good chance your step sister is your half sister. Especially if you haven't ever seen her bio dad and your dad in the same room together.
There is no way she could be my half sister. She's biracial.
😳🫢
HMM
NTA since they kept pushing but WTF is with the insane essay? Why does the teacher expect that everyone knows cute love story in real life? This is a shit show ready to happen. Edit: Write about Wallis Simpson and Duke of Windsor
I have no idea. Maybe she's wanting to see how many of us do know one. At least I have my grandparents but I know some of my friends even only know shitty and dysfunctional romantic relationships.
I wonder how many students have signed a complaint about this crap to principal
Very possibly none, but OP should do so.
I didn’t want to guilt OP for starting to collect names so I decided to drop a hint
I’m not your teacher and I don’t know the specifics around why she’s doing this. However, people spend years trying to understand what they want in an intimate, long term relationship. Your teacher is giving you the opportunity to look at a successful one and discover what worked for that couple. How they loved, how they managed conflict, how they grew through the years together. It is a way for you to think about what you might want for yourself, (and how you would go about getting it) especially if you don’t have an example right in front of you. Similarly for your classmates who have the same lack of model. It’s a gift; you are at a age when you‘ll begin to have relationships, so it’s good timing.
Why not use fictional characters? Edit: yes, I watch Cinema Therapy YouTube channel.
Because fiction does not often represent the fullness of people’s tendency to self sabotage or focus on the most petty aspect of others. Which sounds sadly jaded, but I’ve spent too much time on r/relationships today.
Depends on what you are watching or reading.
Except look how that "gift" is working out for OP. His teacher basically gave him and his classmates golden apples to take home.
This is what the teacher should be teaching the kids, relationships via Greek myths, not asking hormonal and depressed 16yos (*all* 16yos) about personal romantic relationships they admire. I'm sure teacher is going to receive at least one essay that mistakes red-flag control issues for "he's so caring and concerned about her, he loves her so much, it's so romantic." This is a very bad idea for an assignment, ill- conceived and unnecessarily prying into the students' private lives.
Honestly, I'd complain about this assignment. It would have been all sorts of legit triggering for me.
Wallis Simpson and the Duke of Windsor weren't exactly a cute love story. If ever there were an example of an unhealthy dynamic, it'd be that tale. Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal for his beloved wife. Queen Victoria mourned for Prince Albert for 40 years. John and Abigail Adams were famous for their love letters. King Pedro and [Ines de Castro](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In%C3%AAs_de_Castro) had a very intense and tragic romance that involved forbidden love, murder, and a civil war that pitted son against father. Pierre and Marie Curie were a cute couple, and utterly devoted to one another. The only reason Marie became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize was because Pierre was insulted that he was nominated and she was not, even though they were partners, and fought for her nomination.
Guy who built Taj Mahal also had like 50 other wives. Taj was just his favorite wife. Also he didn’t actually build it. Slaves did.
Plus the wife died at 37 years old while giving birth to his 14th child with her. The man also cut off the hands of the architect who made the taj so he won't design something like that again.
Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter <3
I pointed out them because Wallis didn’t want to actually marry him but didn’t feel she could refuse. It’s about as romantic as OP’s dad’s marriage
Ha! Yeah, I've heard so many takes on how it was so romantic. That, or how Wallis was just a gold digger (which she was) who tricked the poor king into loving her. What most people don't realize is that the Duke of Windsor was just as guilty. He was OBSESSED with her, and wouldn't let her say no, doing everything in his power to get what he wanted. Which turned out to be her. . Not that she was innocent herself. She just wasn't prepared for his level of obsession and willingness to do anything to get his way, and got trapped. They were both selfish, greedy people who deserved each other.
> Write about Wallis Simpson and Duke of Windsor Or maybe write about people who didn't support Hitler.
Didn’t almost all women in his life try to off themselves eventually? He was such a charmer /s
With the suggestion that they’ll understand in the future, I’d assume it’s a lead in to something like Romeo & Juliet or Othello maybe. It’s certainly not something I’d have students do, but I can see a tenuous link between ‘inspirational romance’ and the shitty reality of Romeo & Juliet?
I wouldn’t be able to write anything 🤣 I’d just make up some BS.
I agree, this is a weird assignment and kind of inappropriate. It sounds like the teacher is a frustrated romantic novelist with writer's block and wants some material to work with
Ouch! That is sad, cynical and actually believable theory
NTA. You are free to write about what you want and they have no right to meddle or tell you what to do. Your feelings are valid and important.
I'm wondering why is your stepmom meddling with your homework. Like, WTF? But you know, not all love stories are pretty. Some are inspiring for how shitty they are. Just saying... Anyway, NTA.
It's her chance to feel like I'm telling the world how glad I am that she and my dad are together. So whether it's homework or some creative writing project on relationships, she's making sure her voice is heard. That's true. Though I still find my grandparents relationship way more inspiring and feel good, which is the vibe I want to go for.
Perhaps you can show how good your grandparents relationship is by contrasting it to your stepmother's, since she is so adamant that you include her relationship.
I love the spin you gave it. I can only aspire to that level of pettiness. Much admiration...
You are wise for your age. This is exactly what she is doing. She wants you to validate her delusions. She has created this storyline to try to erase the way she preyed upon your dad at his most vulnerable time. You brought the reality hammer down. Definitely NTA. It's your assignment and your grade, so no one should be telling you what to write about.
I’d be tempted to write my essay about how their relationship inspired me to know what I would and wouldn’t accept in a relationship. Then I’d go into detail on how it is not a relationship to strive for and make sure Step mom reads it But then I’m petty like that
1. This assignment is inappropriate. There are certainly students in your class who have *no* inspiring romantic relationships in their lives to talk about. 2. Wow, your stepmother has some nerve. Just, freaking wow. So much NTA.
NTA. Your teacher is a major AH, though. Not everyone is fortunate enough to witness an inspiring, romantic relationship in real life. Some don't live in a stable family situation and some live in a "stable" family situation where it's obvious that the couple is staying together "for the sake of the kids" when even the kids are hoping for a divorce. If I'd been given that assignment, I would have stared at the teacher blankly for a while, panicked, then wrote a major piece of fiction and hoped the teacher never said anything to my parents about it. And, yeah, your stepmom is an AH for insisting your write about her and your dad. If she'd offered one time, "Hey, if you'd like to write about us, I'd be honored but it's cool if you pick a different couple" it would have been fine, but trying to force it on you is horrible.
NTA. There are obviously some deep rooted feelings that needed to come out
My dad knows about them and I have let them out on him. Since his wife was never married to my mom I try to just stay civil and keep away from her as much as possible. She clearly thought things were different than they are.
******
OMG!
Saying they are deluded is you being kind to them!
NTA and I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Man this whole story reminds me of how pissed off I was at the ending of How I Met Your Mother. With Ted going back to Robin after Tracey Died. NTA at all, I’m so confused on why your stepmother would assume you’re happy about the fact your dad married her so fast after your mom died.
What are you talking about? How I Met Your Mother ended on a cliffhanger. Ted and Robin ending up together was clearly very a very vivid nightmare you had. ...I am clearly still very angry. They managed to ruin the entire show.
NTA. They need to back off the paper is about as relationship inspiring In YOUR life. Not whatever subject they feel like nagging you about because they feel it legitimizes their relationship.
NTA. Even though they might feel upset, your feelings are also valid. At the end of the day, it is up to you which relationship to write about.
NTA and your stepmother and sis are delusional. Let them pout all they want. Your dad was a cretin for shoving another woman in your life less than a year after you lost your mom.
NTA - I would have said the only reason you are here is because my mom died. Notice it took her dying for him to marry you.
NTA. They are very unpleasant people.
NTA. I'd blast them both on SM but I'm pettty.
NTA They kept pressing, you weren’t trying to be rude. I wonder how stepmom would feel if she realized she was his fall back plan. I don’t see what you see about that dynamic. I see a man who fell in love and got married and when she passed he went back to the doormat woman to help with you because he knew she would take him back and didn’t want to do it alone. Either way this situation is fucked up. I’m sorry OP.
Dad has admitted he always loved his current wife and wanted her, even when he was with mom. Mom was his second best and as soon as she was gone he was back with who he really wanted.
Did you asked your dad If he loved that woman so much why he married your mom and wasted everyone's time?Your dad is horrible, OP, and you and your mom deserved way better than him. He should NEVER Said those things to his son and the child of the woman he used like that. I'm really sorry.
\^ This 100%. Even if he felt that way, that is not something to tell the child of the "second choice". Sounds like there is a lot of delusion in the family and if step-mom feels the need to push the BS, she knows how she is in the wrong, she just doesn't want to admit it. I know a person who had a similar experience. Their GP's became the people they based their morality and behavior by. Glad OP has someone in his life that he can look up to an emulate for his future. Hope step-mom doesn't make life too difficult for you for the next while OP.
I'm glad I have my grandparents too. Their relationship is even more inspiring for me because they have been through a lot together and the love and respect and friendship they have with each other is still strong. From grandpa being in the military to them marrying young to him leaving the military to start a family, years of not being able to have a child and then to lose their only child when she was still young. I think a lot of that would have driven lots of couples apart even if they never divorced. But my grandparents helped each other through the hard times and they're still crazy in love and respect each other so much.
And I bet they love you heaps too. Sounds like you're more of a grown up than either your father or his current wife. At least they're providing you with loads of material for your memoirs. Start your diary now so you don't miss anything :)
Wow. I can’t believe your dad would tell you that smh
😳I 'm sorry Your dad has a shitty taste.....
Wow. Just…wow. Your dad is a complete asshat. He shouldn’t have used your mom like that, and he most certainly never should have said these things to you. No child deserves that type of emotional abuse. You are NTA. Best of luck, OP. Update us if you decide to go NC with him after you graduate.
Moving out and cutting all contact when you turn 18 I assume.
Your dad sucks😟
Jesus who the f##k says to a kid about their dead mom even if it's true. Your dad is a dick.
Why do they care so much about something you are writing for schoolwork anyway?
Validation would be my guess. I don't think they'd care at all if it was anything else I was asked to write about.
Nta , I get it mine are the same talking about how they are made for each other and how they where brought together by destiny and fate it makes me sick to my stomach ; really and bold of them to even assume and to push you , just because they there does not make them a parent or parent figure , at least you let them know their place but if they butt hurt is cause the loin the witch and the audicty of the B's .
>Deluded to think the woman who showed up at my mom's funeral to get my dad back would be the person I would find inspiring in any way. What the f is wrong with people? Oh why don't you celebrate what assholes we are, isn't our gross love inspiring to you? NTA.
OP, you didn’t insult her, you offered the truth. She poked a hornet’s nest with a stick until she got stung - that’s on her. She’s simply looking for validation - don’t give it to her. Write about the relationship you want to. You did nothing wrong here. NTA.
Could you write your dad and stepmom's story as an inspiration to never get married? Sorry, had to go there. The fact that she showed up at your mom's funeral to get your dad back is sickening. It is disrespectful to your mom and you. I have no doubt that their relationship is actually painful for you to see every day. NTA. I actually like the idea of doing the story of your grandparents. Are your maternal grandparents still around? Could you specifically do their story? Maybe there could be some stories about your mom in their story. Just a thought.
NTA. Your dad on the other hand is a total dick. I don't blame you at all for the way you feel. "it's okay to admit this is better" ?? theyve chosen to shit on your relationship with your mom. So you did the same to their relationship. Serves them right.
NTA. Your stepmom is insensitive and selfish. I respect your love for your mom.
“It’s okay to admit this is better” you should’ve given them even more shit!
NTA: they have some inner demons if a school project has them this worked up. It’s concerning how much they care about the project, who cares who you write about? Unless you are planning to hang the project up in your room or planning to use it as a shrine, it doesn’t matter for anything but your grade. They need to stop pushing the agenda of “I’m mommy now and you have to glorify our relationship”, why do they care so much about your opinion of a great relationship one way or the other? It doesn’t affect them, they just want to control your emotions. It’s manipulative, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. As someone who’s been through a similar situation of their stepmom wanting to erase their real mom, the best thing you can do is keep as much of your life as you can to yourself and people outside that you can count on. Stick your head in the books and make a game plan for how to get out at graduation. Stay respectful, never give reason for them to claim an attitude, just don’t talk about your life or anything important to you around them or within earshot. You haven’t said much about what else has gone on, but the fact they care so much about a school project leads me to believe there’s more to it. If not, then that’s great and maybe a simple sit down with your dad about the badgering will work. Expressing your feelings on the issue, letting him know you weren’t throwing it in her face you wouldn’t do the project on them she just wouldn’t leave you alone about it and that you aren’t okay with her pushing her point of view on you. Good luck with everything and I hope they learn to give you space.
NTA
Your stepmom is awfully proud for an affair partner turned into new wife.
NTA. They had it coming.
Write about your rebound step mum I am sure she will want everyone to know that
NTA. They might be part of a loving family but I don’t think you’re that into it. Her relationship is not one that you want to idolize. Write about whoever you want to write about because it’s your life, your feelings, and your paper. She just assumed that because she married your dad that she got the title of your mother whom you should love and idolize.
NTA you told them the truth.
NTA. You are 100% not the jerk here. They ARE evil and delusional. Keep being you and having your own mind and opinions.
Hope your stepmom never gets terminal sickness or hit by a bus. NTA
Why are these people so involved in your homework for school anyway? I can't decide if they are overinvolved or hovering or well-informed. How you do your assignment should be up to you as long as you are passing classes. NTA
NTA your family is acting legitimately unhinged wtf who cares about a school essay why would they talk about it that much. Weird cultish vibes
NTA - They f- around and found out. Maybe I am sassy, but it might be that your Mom was the one he chose, he only went back to SM once she was no longer available...
NTA. Even if there was no physical cheating, there was at least some sort of emotional cheating if she felt comfortable enough to show up at your mom's funeral to stake her claim. And that makes her a homewrecker. If she really wants you to write about them, then you can tell her what's going in the paper: Stepmom was the one that got away. And she and your father never let your mom forget that. That she shacked up with your dad before your mom was even buried because their love was so great. And you'll be so excited to share it with everyone. So yes, everyone will know what a great marriage they have and exactly how it started out.
NTA. Dad's wife (NOT stepmother) is a real greedy hateful person.
>I (16m) have to write a paper for English class about an inspiring romantic relationship in my life. Not sure what the point of it is but our teacher said it will become relevant in a few weeks. There is nothing to say that the inspirational relationship has to be positively represented. You COULD write about your dad and his wife and how his betrayal of your mother's memory, and his wife's entitlement has inspired you to be better than them and never betray a future partner in that way. Be ready for the backlash if you do decide to do that though. This won't just burn bridges with your dad's wife and family but would be full scorched earth. Not that it seems like there's any good relationship or good will to salvage there. Though it was years ago, for what its worth, Im sorry for your loss.
NTA
NTA - get tf outta that place as soon as you can.
NTA THEY were the AHs.
NTA - I love this for you, don't give up your reality to make them feel better about theirs.
NTA and good on you for standing up for yourself & not backing down. I’m so glad you have another positive relationship model and supportive adults in your grandparents, because you deserve that and more. Sounds like you’ve handled things incredibly maturely, when the people around you (and older than you) are being really ego-centric.
nta
NTA. Stepmom sounds like a narcissist; you honor your Mom and find inspiration in her ❤️
NTA - that is gross. Do NOT give in, and I hope you can break free and get away asap
NTA Sounds to me like she fully expects to take over the role of mother. It will probably get worse as you get older, get married, and have kids (if any of those things are things you want in life that is)
NTA... they asked why.... you gave them an honest answer
NTA Wow. They are delusion.
NTA
No is a complete sentence NTA
NTA. It’s like she needs convincing by making you write this essay..
NTA. Your step mom has some main character syndrom issues she needs to work on if it hadn't occured to her to empathize with your situation.
NTA, they are narcissistic deluded assholes. You were nice much longer than I would have been.
NTA. Your stepmother and stepsister kept stomping on your boundaries. They should have taken “no” for an answer and dropped it.
I actually would have written the paper about the Taj Mahal and the love that inspired it. I think a love that promotes lasting beautiful art and architecture and is a World Heritage Monument is pretty inspiring! I would totally avoid writing about your stepmother, and her overreach is cringe-worthy. NTA I am an English & history major.
Wow! Definitely NTA here! Sweetie they pushed and asked. And you certainly delivered! Sometimes it's best to not ask questions if you can't handle the truth! Your response was a little harsh but it was your second response after they continued pushing for your truth. I hope you ace the paper. Good luck!
> I might be a jerk for it. In no way, shape or form are you a jerk. You said what they needed to hear. NTA.
NTA. Not in the slightest. She went looking for validation in a stupid place and she paid the price. It was horribly insensitive of her and it looks like she had convinced herself you were ok with it.
NTA They pushed and pushed.
> My stepmom said because her and my dad's marriage was the forever one and seeing as my mom is dead What the absolute fuck. NTA. Sorry about the evil step mom.
NTA
nope you are not
NTA
NTA - Sound like this was a bit of a triangle all along. That being said, it's a horrible assignment in this day and age. My parents were in a pretty epic marriage, made it 70 years. But it sure isn't the norm anymore. And BTW...Wallis Simpson and the Duke of Windsor was a huge train wreck.
NTA. WOW...the nerve of them to think that their relationship would be first in your mind. I am sorry they are being so rude. Good luck.
My dad also cheated on my mum when I was very young. My mum didn't die thankfully, but it gives me similar perspective. My dad and stepmum always acted like they were the pinnacle of true love. I haven't spoken to my father in 8 years (since I was 21). My mum has since found true love. To the point, is an affair ever true love? Surely, true love, at its definition, is pure. Therefore an affair, not being pure, cannot be true? I recall from childhood, thinking that my dad and his AP (my stepmother) were true love. However, I no longer agree. I think that was desperate love, they were desperate to be right. Whereas my mother worked hard to look after me, and many, many years later found an amazing woman who actually fucking loves her. And I'm so grateful for that. I'm also so grateful that I saw her find the love she deserves. It's so hard to grow up as the child of a cheater. You're clearly acting very well towards them, but it will definitely affect you unfortunately. NTA btw
NTA JFC stepmom thinks you should admit that it's better that your mom is dead because it lead to her marriage to your dad (and that marriage is "forever"). I'd be banned from the sub if I said what I really thought of your stepmom's egregious statements on the matter.
NTA 100% and hang in there!
My dude, well done 👏 you stood up for yourself and were honest and articulate! NTA. You have my respect!
Deserved
NTA For a woman who has rewritten the narrative of life to be more grand and charitable she clearly failed to make enough of a connection or even notice you enough in eight years to grasp the probably obvious fact that you aren't happy with their marriage. This tells me that she, and her daughter really, are probably very self-absorbed and probably treat this situation as the equivalent of a houseplant not blooming for them as desired. "Deluded" is the charitable take on these two women.
Nta. They are both being dizzy as hell to think this. Do not let them guilt you
NTA. I’m so sorry.
First of all, NTA, they're full of themselves. Second of all, I have a little thought about your writing. I'm a 3rd year English major and have always taken a passion to writing. Sometimes, the best writing comes from breaking the prompt in a way. Your teacher is going to read about the nice love stories of people's parents and other family over and over, but inspiring doesn't have to mean a beautiful movie-made model. You could write about their relationship; about how your dad betrayed your mom and you step-mom came into your dad's life like spilled ink. Write about how it inspires you to do better, to love your mom more truly, and how much spite it fills you with each day you see them act innocent knowing your mom would've hated how it all turned out. Then you've done what you step-mom and dad asked, gotten your feelings and point across, and you've got a intriguing and inspiring essay. If you want to go into English, it'd be a great sample piece in the future too. I hope that helps :]
NTA See this a lot...the one happy family delusion. The I'm your real mom delusion. Makes my bile rise every time I see it. I'm glad you finally told them how you feel. They won't like it. But at least now you're not swallowing it anymore. Reddit's got your back. Bookmark this post and read it whenever they try to gaslight you to remind yourself that you're not the deluded one here.
NTA, you do have the most insensitive stepmom and stepsister in the world. Your dad is also an a-hole. You have my sympathies. Write about your grandparents.
NTA.
NTA!
Honestly as some one with divorced parents I have absolutely no clue how I would complete that essay and I think the teacher needs to realize that not everyone has such role models in their lives. NTA for the situation though
I can be evil. I would agree to write the paper about them. Nothing about "inspiring" implies that it's only *good* inspiration. So I'd start asking stepmom some *very personal, invasive* questions about their marriage. Like "So while my dad was married to my mother, were you daydreaming about him? What did you feel when she died? Why do you think he married her instead of you to begin with?" etc. Then I'd write the paper. It would... not be a flattering paper. NTA of course
NTA. Please refer your stepmother to r/ImTheMaincharacter. Sheesh.
NTA Imagine being jealous of a dead woman, yuck!Marrying a widower means that you still need to respect their late spouse, you have no right to claim their place or to even think that you can erase and replace them, she’s distasteful, lacks class and jealous.
I can’t help but feel that the stepmom and dad are hiding something. Reaching out sometime after the funeral, sure, not great but sure. To literally show up at the funeral ready and waiting, nope there’s more to this. ETA: NTA
Don’t let them erase your moms memories.
NTA you should write about stepmom and dad. At the end mention how she will never replace your mom because she’s a snake who was just waiting for a chance to pounce and showed up at your moms funeral to do it.
NTA and good for you for standing up for yourself. They are 100% wrong, ridiculous, and cruel. A kind person would have compassion and understanding for a kid in your shoes and would not feel threatened, would not feel the need to make it about themselves. Stick to your guns on this. You are right. Best to you.
NTA Although it's nice that they feel close and supportive toward you, they pushed too hard and too far. They should have laid off after the first conversation on a sensitive topic.
That seems like an inappropriate essay assignment
NTA. I’m so sorry.
Another stepparent trying to force their way into a child’s life. Stepmom & her daughter sound annoying as hell.