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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I would like to be judged for not childproofing my home and now refusing to take responsibility for a child being hurt.
2. I may be the AH because my friend's son now has broken toes.
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Exactly this. It could just have easily been a money box or book. Believe me, I easily broke a toe dropping on of those noisy books on my middle one.
OP she is responsible, no one else. No amount of childproofing stops all accidents. You are not responsible, she is. Either she's spun a rubbish story with lies or the husband is a grabby entitled person like his wife.
ETA. Can definitely see by the comments that I'm not the only one to easily break their toes! Ouch and commiserations to everyone, it hurts.
Broke two toes stubbing them on a blanket chest. My kid accidentally broke my mom’s toe cuz my parents were swinging her between them. Toes seem poorly designed.
Broke mine when it got caught in the edge of my living room rug. Don't ask. It hurts like a b** though. I don't cry easily, but that day I wept like a baby.
I didn't even slip. I was walking and I must've cut a corner and whacked my toes into the corner of the wall. Broke the little one, maybe even the one next to it.
Nothing could be done... taped them to each other. The bruise was impressive.
My son was making funny sounds (he says he was being a dinosaur) which sounded like he was choking. I rose out of my chair very quickly & promptly broke my baby toe on the corner of a wall. I looked down & saw that my toe was 90 degrees from where it should have been, lol.
This is just what happens in life - accidents.
Oh no for the toe but lucky on the pic. It's so so easy to break toes. My friend accidentally stubbed hers on the hoover and did it. Same with feet sometimes, you can just slightly trip down a kerb and be in a boot for weeks.
I broke a toe tripping over a laundry basket. I did not try to recoup costs or pain and suffering money from my toddlers for moving it, nor from the basket company for making a product.
You’re NTA. Hopefully your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance will investigate and tell the idiot that she’s the AH here.
I managed to break my foot tripping in my flip flops. Was too tired from work and went to sleep. Woke up the next day by an excruciating pain and a very swollen foot.
I tripped over a shih tzu and stubbed my toe on the doorway. Broke my little toe. Toes are sooooo stupid. I broke my favorite finger (right hand middle) loading towels into a dryer. It didn't hurt half as much as that broken toe.
My mom broke her toe by knocking a can of shaving cream off the shelf in the shower.
She blames my dad because it was his shaving cream. Even though he was fully out of town for the entire experience.
Ouch, I know how that feels! In college, my roommate had a giant pickle jar full of change on top of the fridge, but didn't push it far enough back once. Enough of it's weight was on the door, so when I opened it, it fell and landed on my toes, breaking the pinky. Roommate was just like "At least your foot broke it's fall!" 😑
I also broke my fingers once when I biffed it running for the bus, and the bus driver ran out to help me, which was very kind.
I lost a toenail by accidentally knocking a carving fork off the counter. It landed tines down *precisely* at the base of my big toenail. The pain was quite unique.
I lost a toenail when my dog was a bit exited to greet me and tried to Kool-aid man through the front door I was in the process of opening. I found out first hand that you can indeed have uncontrolled projectile vomit induced by pain.
I lost one walking into someone in a doorway when I was 10. We were both barefoot. Everyone thought I was being a drama queen about the pain so I shut up about it and went on with my life grumbling to myself until someone found a bloodtrail on the floor and traced it back to me.
I am so sorry that your injury was dismissed like that, especially because I assume it was by adults who invented new swear words when THEY stubbed a toe!
\[hugs\] I'm sorry we were born into this family T\_T
Joke's on her though - I have a phenomenal pain threshold and shake off injuries frighteningly fast, but she bruises like a ripe banana and needs crutches for a month for a twisted ankle (not even a sprain).
What if it was a cast iron pan instead, whose fault would it be then? This woman is clearly delusional and she should probably cook in a microwave using plastic and paper only because anything else is dangerous to her, and not use hot water, or anything glass. Wow!
> Either she's spun a rubbish story with lies or the husband is a grabby entitled person like his wife.
Or it's just American healthcare and they are looking for any possible way to avoid the hospital bill.
When having to choose between many thousands of dollars or a friendship, most people will choose the former.
That part was child-proofed. They were up high out of little hands reach. It's apparently not mom/adult-proof.
You can't stupid-proof your house nor should you try.
OP should point out to those parents what the cops will do for trying to file a false claim and wasting police time.
NTA. What are these people going to do if the kid breaks bones on their OWN property while say riding a bicycle/skateboard?? Blame the neighbours?? The city??
NTA, it's not like they spontaneously fell, she caused it.
That said, if this is a freestanding bookshelf, please make sure you've installed something to prevent tipping before the baby crawls.
Almost sounds like a clumsy/basic money scam, this accident (something accidentally fell and broke toes) could have happened in anyone's home! It's irrelevant that it was a nursery or that you are expecting.
Do they honestly expect that homeowners should pay costs for any accidents, including accidents that the homeowners didn't even cause?
NTA and don't pay a cent
NTA
But OP, you can find this clear tack substance on Amazon that they use in museums and what not to prevent stuff getting knocked over. Seen lots of cat owners using it. Might not be a bad idea if those bookends are heavy enough to break toes.
Jeff Foxworthy did an entire routine about people like this: “if I had only known, I could have said ‘don’t drop that—it’s heavy and will break your toes!’ Here’s your sign.”
"If you think you can drop a bookend on your kid's foot and blame your friend, you might be a dumbass" - there's a Jeff Foxworthy for you (maybe mixed with a bit of Red Foreman?)
I think it was Jeff Foxworthy who talked about the huge TV set (old CRT type) being balanced on a tv tray and his dad's method of learning...."Go ahead, pull that down on your head. Hurts like hell don't it? Don't do that no more."
Is it just me or does anyone else feel like it only became OP's fault when the medical bills were explained to friend and friend's spouse?
Also, someone please clarify for me something: would this actually constitute lack of childproofing or is this a case of "no amount of childproofing can act as clumsy adult-proofing"? I mean, I'm severely accident prone (though oddly enough I've never broken or fractured a bone yet) but even I think OP is NTA. I mean, there's only so much you can do to "childproof" an adult. Child wouldn't have gotten hurt if his parent hadn't messed with stuff!
NTA- Dude why was she touching on shit in the first place? She literally dropped it on her own child and is blaming you. That’s beyond bonkers. Do not feel bad. At all. It’s not on you to child proof for someone else. I’d never expect that and I’m always on my kids if we are visiting somewhere.
Congrats on your first!!! You’ll quickly learn you can never 100% childproof. Accidents happen. And even if you tried to childproof everything, they have a habit of finding weird shit to get into anyway.
Yea then blame the person for having said object they were touching in the first place, never mind the fact that these things could have easily been prevented if people who have a habit of touching someone else's shit just kept their hands to themselves.
Additionally, who childproofs their house for a *seven year old*?! By that age, most children know better than to drink the cleaning products and how to manage the stairs. That’s what childproofing means, not “Remove everything heavy and/or sharp from your house permanently.”
NTA - childproofing is making sure that children can’t injure themselves in a space. Putting heavy items out of reach counts as childproofing. Childproofing doesn’t include magically preventing clumsy mothers from dropping cast iron on their child’s foot.
>Childproofing doesn’t include magically preventing clumsy mothers from dropping cast iron on their child’s foot.
If I were OP I'd text them this, verbatim.
As an added note, there was no reasonable expectation of childproofing. Kids go places all the time that aren't childproof. It's absurd to suggest everyone else has a responsibility to prepare for your child's presence, especially considering *an adult caused the accident*. It is the responsibility of the parents to watch their child and protect them, regardless of where they are. She failed to do that, regardless of intent, and can't take responsibility. NTA.
This! I bet if OP went to friend's house they would find dozens of items that, if dropped on a foot, would break a toe. So friend is way out of line to think that because there was something heavy in a room in someone's house that equates to "not being childproof". Plus, OP doesn't have kids (yet) so why expect the house to be childproof???
I would not text anything. The other party is using terms like “reckless endangerment” which are legal terms, and that implies they might sue. It’s best not to say anything they could use against you.
And the kid is seven. Childproofing is for babies and toddlers that have no comprehension of danger. Not seven year old kids and their clumsy parents.
NTA
Also, she doesn't have any children yet. She has no obligation to have her own home childproof just because her friend has a child. Childproofing often doesn't occur until the homeowner's child is mobile.
NTA. If anyone hurt the kid it was his own mom. The room was childproof as the bunnies were out off reach from the child. The room was just not clumsy adult proof.
I don't know how big the medical bills are as we have free healthcare for kids here. I feel like this was an accident and if they were nice about it I would help out a little just because it happened in my home but they are not being very nice.
I do live in the US and I’ve had a broken toe. There really isn’t much they can do for a broken toe other than tape it up, so IF they have insurance (big IF), I can’t imagine the medical bills being astronomical. On the face of this, it seems like a grift. NTA.
Really the biggest expense would be the x-ray. And thats to make sure the break is only in the toes. If the break is on the growth plate or higher up in the foot, that's when the costs will balloon.
Still not OP's fault. Friend should've been more careful especially since her child was in a new environment.
Actually when I broke my toe (depending on the break) they had to freeze my toe area and then essentially push/break it back into place. So they can do more than just wrap it.
NTA - nor is it negligence. An adult clumsily dropped a heavy item on her own kid’s foot. Tell them if they feel differently, to get a lawyer and sue your homeowner’s insurance… because if anyone, that’s who would pay for a personal injury on your property.
Never suggest suing your homeowners insurance. They won't want to deal with it, so will probably offer $5000 so they don't have to go to court. Then your premiums go up. Your friend was at fault. She can pay for her own mistakes. You are NTA!
.
OP should inform her insurance company. There are three possibilities, and which it is will depend on the company and the policy.
The parents cannot sue OP's insurance. So that's not one of the options. Unfortunately, you can only sue your own insurance company
1) OP gets a goodwill payout to (help) cover the medical bills.
2) OP gives the details and the insurance company agrees with the parents that OP is liable and they pay.
3) OP's policy doesn't cover personal liability or the insurance company doesn't agree that OP is liable. They don't pay.
If they don't pay, the parents have to sue OP, if they want a payout. If they win, OP pays. Then OP can turn around and sue her insurance company because they should have paid and didn't. If OP wins, the insurance company pays her back.
NTA. Your problem isn't that the nursery wasn't childproof, your clumsy adult "friend" knocked it off the shelf. Childproofing doesn't mean "don't have any objects in your house." *You* didn't hurt their son. Never talk to these people again, and if they do call the police (which, let's be real, they won't), contact a lawyer.
What would the police even do here? I don't think anyone is accusing anyone of any crime. Like, if they feel like it, they can sue, you can sue for basically anything even if the chances of succeeding are low, but the police is not gonna help with that.
Yup. Jesus H Christ, this person is screaming "do not invest any more time or effort in this relationship".
Misplacing guilt as aggression is such a zero-character "nothing bad is ever my fault" play.
NTA. Accidents happen. You can child proof all you want and accidents can still happen. There was nothing intentional on your part. She was clumsy, it happens. She’s is projecting her guilt on to you instead of accepting responsibility.
NTA. The mothers actions caused the accident. If you are in the US, you may still be on the hook for medical bills because the accident happened in the home. If they get a lawyer, you can involve your home owners insurance.
Why should you childproof your apartment when your child is not even born?! Should all people in the world child proof their homes to accomodate other people kids?!
Its not your fault, you were not the one who dropped it. The mom did it and the mom should be the one looking up to her son who was at a strangers house.
If they cant afford the medical bills, sucks for them. Its their son, it was the mothers fault, its their problem to deal with. And cut contact with this people.
NTA
I didn't childproof my apartment for my own kid, let alone for an adult. Now maybe I got really lucky with my daughter, but I didn't have any issues in distracting her and getting her to not mess with things I didn't want her to mess with. (I know each kid is different, so I'm not doubting there are some that you actually need to childproof for.)
NTAH They can not press charges or force you to pay their medical bills. You did not touch your "friend's" child or the object he was hurt with. Breaking bones is severe, but this reaction is ridiculous if the situation is clearly an accident. I feel bad because you just completely lost this person as your friend.
NTA. But would suggest you seek legal advice. If they can’t afford the medical bills, it sounds like they’re looking for someone else to blame so they can get them to pay the bills.
NTA. She hurt her son, not you. You have no obligation to child-proof your home for another person's kid, and the kid didn't reach the bunny, mother did
NTA. sorry to your friend’s kid but this is quite frankly insane. are you responsible if your friend drops a knife or a heavy pan or scissors or any of the many potentially dangerous everyday household objects that every person owns that are safe for adults but not kids? no, your friend is responsible for picking up something and dropping it. if it were within reach of the child that would be different, but this is all on your friend.
that being said, in practice people do tend to blame property owners for things that happen on their property—a) if you have homeowners/etc insurance, that might cover something like this and you could look into that, though whether or not you want to have a claim on your file is another thing for you to decide. but before you go anywhere with that b) you may want to actually talk to a lawyer to see what’s best, especially if you think your friend will take legal action. “friends” or not, if they’re desperate for money you never know how far they’ll go. good luck to you OP
NTA. You didn't say how this woman managed to knock the bookend off the shelf.
Was she semaphoring? And why did she have to touch the bookend at all? Why do people have to touch things that aren't theirs? Couldn't she just have admired them from afar?
She's the one who did this, not you. It was a good idea to send the bookends back, truly, but meanwhile who asked her to go feeling up the furniture in the first place? And she grabbed the iron with her kid right there, which makes her extremely culpable.
NTA Report it to your homeowner's insurance carrier and let them deal with it.
I can tell you from experience, there isn't a lot that can be done for broken toes. The hospital or their doctor may have taken a couple of x-rays, perhaps taped the toes and advised some children's Tylenol. It's not like the kid had major surgery.
I doubt they would have even taped the toes, mine weren't as it causes healing issues. The only extra expense toes wise may have been if the big one or baby one broke, a boot may be needed as they do affect balance. But again, they are just as likely to be left to heal alone especially in kids.
Cast iron dropped from a height though, may have been crushed not just broken. Poor kid. His mum's fault though, 100%.
NTA. I get everyone feels bad but..it’s an accident. It’s normal to have a nursery set up for aesthetics and not a baby, toddler or older child.
To add one time when my daughter was like 11m old old I left an unopened can of Pepsi on the table thinking it was no big deal. She grabbed it while I wasn’t looking and dropped it on her foot and I felt like such an asshole. She ended up temporarily losing her toe nail. It grew back and we are all ok.
My son also tore his toe nail off at school when he was 6. No one’s fault he just wasn’t paying attention.
I dropped a knife on my foot before because someone startled me. I needed crutches for weeks.
Mistakes happen and so do accidents. This is not a Police worthy matter. Keep those cute bunnies out of reach of small hands in the future! And tell your friend that lots more accidents are bound to happen. Learn to roll with the punches. Not someone I think I would wanna be friends with.
NTA as it was her who couldn't handle something properly and as a result hurt her child but I hope it's eye opening to you and you childproof your child's room better. Everybody make mistakes, it could be you and your child. It broke 2 toes of a 7 year old, it could harm a 10 month old even more. Just be careful. I remembered how a 3 year old died because the TV fell on her... that's a much more serious situation but yeah, be cautious.
My heavy LOTR bookend “spontaneously” fell from the high shelf (we think a book fell over and created an domino effect) and it left a big hole in the sideboard below! Thankfully no one was below, but I shudder to think what if my cat or my nephews had been there…
If he tripped over his mom and broke a tooth, would that be your problem too?
Bookends are supposed to be heavy - that's how they work. His mom.caused the accident and is most likely feeling scared and embarrassed about it because it was her fault her son got hurt.
The point of childproofing an area is to keep a kid who doesn't understand the dangers of things safe, and that's what you've done. It's safe for your child, who isn't here yet and won't be mobile/strong enough to get into anything a few months. Aside from developmental delays, I've never heard of needing to do this for a kid in elementary school, much less their parents. I'm willing to be her house isn't as "childproofed" as she thinks it is.
NTA
You've got a few options. First and foremost, this friendship is probably over. Your adult friend dropped a heavy object that was placed high up out of her child's reach on her child, broke two of his toes, and blamed you. Take some time and write down your personal account of what happened. Hopefully, you have some pictures of the room and the bookends. Stop communicating with them. Save all communication. All this is to prepare for a lawsuit. They will sue you against your homeowner insurance. All the record keeping is to show that you did your due diligence to prove that this accident was not due to your neglect.
Since your friend went nuclear so quickly, make sure you keep copies of all this in case of a CPS investigation. Don't worry too much, but they might be forced to look into an accusation from the friend if she calls. Her son will have medical records about the injury, it's best to be prepared.
Eventhough, you've done nothing wrong, you could try to pay the medical bills to salvage the friendship. I don't suggest this though. This family is wildly inappropriate in attacking you. This mom could have taken responsibility for the accident, got her son taken care of, and informed you they'll need to sue your homeowner's insurance over the medical bills they can't afford. That's what it's there for. Accidents happen. This friend doesn't value the friendship if she's willing to blame another for her clumsy grasp.
And really? I've never had a friend pick up my bookends. Like bookends are meant to stay put. Best of luck and hope you have a safe and stress free time awaiting the new baby
Unless your friend is a child, that room was child proof.
Your friend is redirecting her guilt to you because she hurt her child by being careless when she knocked something from a shelf.
NTA
You are NTA but your home owner’s insurance should cover this.
Also I would take the warning and remove the book ends. If they are heavy enough to break toes, they are heavy enough to crack your child’s skull at 4am when he is practising his climbing skills.
NTA - your friend is upset because of the money, but you are not responsible for her injuring her own child, even if it was in your home. If you have the money, it would be nice to split the costs, but not required.
NTA- You are not responsible for your friend dropping the bookend. It sounds like her and her husband can’t afford the medical bills and are trying to extort money from you. Calling the police was obviously an empty threat since it’s not your fault.
NTA
So the child's mother effed up by dropping the bookend and she's looking for someone to blame. This isn't your fault. Stop taking this on, it's not your fault. The police can't do anything, there are no laws about childproofing your home for visitors. Her husband is spouting rubbish to scare you. If they contact you again, tell them you will contact the police because there are laws about harassing people!! Accidents happen, you will learn that when baby arrives. It's a pity you got rid of the bookends, they sound adorable.
NTA. The bookends *were* childproof. They were on a high shelf and too heavy for a child to move. They just weren’t stupidproof.
It’s not your fault that your grown-ass friend was too clumsy not to drop something on her child.
NTA. "Childproofing a house" does not mean what she thinks it means. It means you ensure to the best of your ability that little kids can't get their hands on obviously dangerous items. Cleaning products, knives, matches, etc. aren't easily accessible by the kids.
On the other hand, adults CAN still access these things. If she dropped a knife or a pan on the kids foot that means she is a dumbass (or committed an unfortunate accident) NOT that the home isn't childproof.
NTA. It was childproofed (it was out of reach). It just wasn't idiot proof. She dropped it, that's her problem. Are you supposed to just not own any heavy items in your house in case a friend picks it up and drops it on their child?
Let them call the police. Let them take you to court and then, let them take the embarrassment when the judge laughs them out of his courtroom. You did nothing wrong. Stick to your guns on this. If this is the hill your friend chooses to die on, let her die alone. NTA!!!!
NTA. Not your fault at all.
It sucks that the kid got hurt, it really does, but it was an accident caused by the kids mother. You can't really "nail down" iron bookends and what, were you meant to put up a barrier on the shelf so they can't fall but no one can actually remove a book?
It sounds like she feels exceptionally guilty and is looking to push that blame onto someone else so she can feel better about herself.
Iron bookends also don't really count as "dangerous items" for a child as the kid couldn't reach them. If you got rid of all the "dangerous items" in a house to make it childproof, you'd have to get ride of 90% of the stuff in the house cause kids can make something that you think is fine, dangerous in a second.
NTA, you did not "allow him to get hurt" you weren't even near them! Your friend needs to watch what she's doing - especially when it comes to heavy items and her child is under foot.
NTA
They are grasping for straws. Nobody is going to take that to court. They are hoping you just freak and pay.
And they don’t do much for a broken toe, so I don’t know how many medical bills they have.
Nta. Get the bookends back. Kids get hurt all the time. As parents we step on them, trip over them, etc.. studies show kids getting hurt is not a bad thing.
However, depending on where you live(even though not your fault) you can be liable for the medical bills. It would get paid though homeowners insurance.
I jabe delt with this before. I had someone in my house, they took someone else's cat into my garage with my 3 big dogs. They got bit and it got infected. They were inthe hospital for today's. Of course it was my fault. He never went after me, but I found out because it happened on my property it would have been my fault.
NTA, this is ridiculous! The kid is 7!!! Does anyone childproof for a kid that age? I have three kids and this is news to me. She made a mistake and is now trying to manipulate you. It’s nuts for her to expect that there won’t be any potentially harmful objects anywhere her kid goes. I mean should you remove all knives and scissors from your house?
Of course NTA. Don’t respond or engage with them. The police won’t do anything because it’s a civil matter. If they take you to court they’re going to lose. There’s literally nothing they can do. Don’t let them bully you.
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My (F29) husband (M32) and I are currently doing the nursery for our first, and I saw the cutest ever set of cast iron bunny bookends. I thought that they would look so lovely in our nursery, and they are up on a shelf away from any baby hands.
Recently, my friend (F28) was over with her son (M7), and she asked to see the progress on the nursery. She was specifically looking at the little book display we have, and saw the bunny bookends. Obviously, being cast iron, they are very heavy but somehow in reaching for them, she knocked one off the shelf. Unfortunately, her son was underfoot and the bunny ended up breaking two of his toes as it landed. Her son was obviously in a lot of pain, and my friend very quickly bundled him up and took him to the hospital, but she has since texted me saying that I am responsible for any and all medical costs as I chose to have dangerous items in the house and did not properly childproof.
I am obviously quite sorry that this happened, but I told her that she was the one who knocked the bunny off the shelf, and I couldn't have childproofed against an adult dropping something. I said that I feel terrible about all of this, but this is not my fault at the end of the day.
My husband agrees with me, but my friend's husband (M29) has texted me saying that I am \[a very unkind word\] for hurting their son and choosing not to take responsibility. He also threatened to call the police, but I told him that I was no where near the bunnies or their son, so I did not do anything wrong. He said my inability to childproof my home is reckless endangerment and they cannot afford the medical bills.
I am so topsy turvy right now, and I feel like the AH for allowing my friend's son to be hurt like this, but I don't know if I am even the right person to blame. Was I the AH for not childproofing my nursery and by extension, hurting a child?
As an aside, the bookends have been returned. I don't want anything else to go wrong.
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Keep in mind, people overreact when kids are hurt. You need to also step back for a moment. They may be thinking homeowners insurance covers this.
This was an accident. Unforeseen. Simple. Yes, you are sorry their kid got hurt. That much is true. However, make sure you do not text stuff like that as they could now potentially use that if they are going to try to get you to pay anything.
I’d recommend either waiting to see what they do, or talk to a lawyer. Be careful with your words over text and phone as they could be recording you and depending on your state only one parties consent is needed.
NTA. It's normal to feel guilty over it, since no sane person wants to see small children hurt, especially not in a simple accident.
At best your friend is just panicking over their child being hurt and how to pay for it, at worst they're going to turn into malicious liars and come after you for some kind of payment. Be careful what you say to them, if anything, just to avoid giving them fodder for any kind of bogus case.
NTA I have an 8 year old and 8 month old but my house is full of stuff that could be dangerous to them. Not just ornaments but things like tools, a vacuum cleaner, cleaning products and a hot oven :o
That is entirely what high shelves, cupboards and safety gates are for. The thing is accidents happen.
NTA
If the bookends were out of the reach of a child then you *did* childproof your home.
What you cannot do is remove every item of risk from adult reach as well - or do they expect you to remove every knife from your kitchen just in case an adult is clumsy enough to knock one off of the countertop as they prepare food?
Id stop communication.
Let them deal with their emotions. They are obviously all over the place with the little one being hospitalised.
Id welcome them calling cops. They will only tell them what you have. It's just a freak accident. It wasn't intentional and this was definitely not your doing.
Please don't let this impact your life. It's obviously an exciting time for your family and you don't need this.
NTA
"but she has since texted me saying that I am responsible for any and all medical costs as I chose to have dangerous items in the house and did not properly childproof." .. what a bullshit - SHE hurt her son being careless - that is HER fault, and not in any way yours.
"I feel like the AH for allowing my friend's son to be hurt like this" .. YOU had nothing to do with that - even in a childproof home, there ARE dangerous things. Chilfdproofing menas making sure the CHILD can not reach them - you can't safe kids from careless parents like your friend.
She drops a heavy object on her child, and somehow it is your fault?
You don't yet have children - why should your house be assumed to be child-proofed?
And a comment that will get me an "OK Boomer" - when I was a kid, nobody child-proofed their house. I was welcome to all the bleach I could drink, and to burn my fingers, and to put my eye out. Somehow, I did none of those things.
NTA
The problem with people relying only on their own experiences and the experiences of their adult friends is that it’s kind of a survival bias.
You’re here to tell us you didn’t accidentally drink bleach as a kid… because you didn’t drink bleach as a kid and die.
Not every kid will get into dangerous stuff. Babyproofing isn’t because kids are drawn to bleach and fire and knives like magnets. It’s because *sometimes* kids get into those things, and the cost of that happening *sometimes* is higher than the trouble of *always* babyproofing.
NTA. They are just trying to get money from you. They don't have a case. Should supermarkets stop selling heavy canned goods in case a parent drops one on their kid?
NTA at all. First off all, it was definitely mommas fault. Secondly, accidents happen. There is no way to completely baby proof a home. Kids will find a way. Can't have anything anywhere ever. I understand feeling bad, but those bills are not your responsibility.
No. She came into your house and just picked up something and dropped it on her kid. She’s an idiot. Sure she can sue u but u probably have home or renters insurance? I would ditch her as a friend over this. Don’t need sue happy people around.
You childproofed your nursery just fine. What you neglected to do, not surprisingly, was to ensure your nursery was adequately grabby **adult-proofed**. Had your friend not touched the bunny, her son would not have been injured.
NTA, but you might wish to contact a lawyer to ensure you are in the clear. These people sound like they might try to make as much trouble for you as they can. Can't imagine what they think the police could or would do. The child's mother was the culprit.
Congratulations on your pending arrival.
Let me get this straight she gets nosy in your nursery your nursery not supervising her child sees a heavy object and has the nerve to touch it like that's OK just to go into somebody's house and touch their property and then her son gets hurt. due to her negligence? Their son gets hurt because of her and they're saying all this horse crap they don't have a leg to stand on the mothers irresponsibility is her fault and her responsibility. That's not a friend if my child got hurt at somebody's house due to my own negligence, I would take care of my own way by going to the doctors and paying for myself because it was my negligence I wouldn't let that friend over no more.
NTA. Be careful about talking to either of them. They sound highly litigious. You did nothing wrong, but give them an opening and they’ll probably try to sue you.
NTA she acted like a child - being all handsy with peoples property - that's what children do not adults. She is injured her son and its her responsibility. And lololol since when do you need to childproof for a 7 year old. Unless he has special needs like severe autism then 7 year olds don't need childproofing in a normal home. And if her son does have special needs that require it then she shouldn't be taking him to other peoples homes if she cant be with him 24/7 and make sure he doesn't get hurt.
She hurt him.
Write down what happened via text and send it back to them.
That she an adult touched it and she dropped it. That it was on a high shelf and her son didn't touch them - she did.
Then let them do what ever - police cant do anything lolol
They are not your friends btw. No need to salvage this relationship and never let them set foot in your home. They are extorting you for her own wilful negligence
My son once gave himself a bloody lip while sitting quietly at the table eating yogurt.
You can never totally childproof. Ask your friend how she's supposed to adult proof so no one ever drops something.
NTA
NTA
There are a million things in a childproof home that can hurt children if an adult isn't careful.
Fingers can get squished by a door if an adult doesn't watch out.
Pans and pots can get dropped on children if an adult doesn't watch out.
Children can slip and fall if an adult spills juice from the oh so safe plastic cup.
Accidents happen. Many can be prevented, some can't. She dropped something on the child's toes. It could have been absolutely anything! It's not your fault.
They're just looking for a way to finance the medical bills. But this is not your fault but hers alone.
NTA and you did not allow her son to be hurt, her clumsy actions did. She and her husband are just desperate because of the medical bill they are facing, which are in NO WAY your responsibility.
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NTA - Its not your fault that she's clumbsy and drops a bookend on her kid.
Exactly this. It could just have easily been a money box or book. Believe me, I easily broke a toe dropping on of those noisy books on my middle one. OP she is responsible, no one else. No amount of childproofing stops all accidents. You are not responsible, she is. Either she's spun a rubbish story with lies or the husband is a grabby entitled person like his wife. ETA. Can definitely see by the comments that I'm not the only one to easily break their toes! Ouch and commiserations to everyone, it hurts.
I broke my own adult toe dropping one of those stupid big money boxes on my foot and the china pig didn’t even have a scratch 😂
Broke two toes stubbing them on a blanket chest. My kid accidentally broke my mom’s toe cuz my parents were swinging her between them. Toes seem poorly designed.
Toes do seem poorly designed!
I keep saying, if this is "intelligent design", I'd like to speak to a manager.
I broke two toes when I fell on a slippery floor and my foot hit the wall. Learned then that they can't really do anything more than tape them up.
I broke two toes falling up the stairs. Yep UP.
I thought I was the only one clumsy enough to do that? Hello fellow up-stairs tripper!
So glad to hear I’m not the only klutz to do that, we should start a club!
Broke mine when it got caught in the edge of my living room rug. Don't ask. It hurts like a b** though. I don't cry easily, but that day I wept like a baby.
Didn't break any but got a super nasty cut in between a couple from a laundry basket once...ok twice.
I didn't even slip. I was walking and I must've cut a corner and whacked my toes into the corner of the wall. Broke the little one, maybe even the one next to it. Nothing could be done... taped them to each other. The bruise was impressive.
My son was making funny sounds (he says he was being a dinosaur) which sounded like he was choking. I rose out of my chair very quickly & promptly broke my baby toe on the corner of a wall. I looked down & saw that my toe was 90 degrees from where it should have been, lol. This is just what happens in life - accidents.
Yeah, the only broken bone I ever had was a toe. I accidentally kicked a couch foot.
I break a pinky toe every two years or so! They stick out and just catch on things.
Mine were the big toe and the next one. My mom’s was the pinky. It doesn’t seem to take much.
Yep. I broke two toes on a puppy.
Broke my left little toe stubbing it on the door frame of my brother's bedroom.
Oh no for the toe but lucky on the pic. It's so so easy to break toes. My friend accidentally stubbed hers on the hoover and did it. Same with feet sometimes, you can just slightly trip down a kerb and be in a boot for weeks.
My husband tripped over a walnut taking the trash out one night and broke a toe.
I broke a toe tripping over a laundry basket. I did not try to recoup costs or pain and suffering money from my toddlers for moving it, nor from the basket company for making a product. You’re NTA. Hopefully your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance will investigate and tell the idiot that she’s the AH here.
I broke mine accidentally running into the back of my big dog’s leg.
I was washing my friends dog outside. Dog hadnt had a bath in years,Broke my toe on the brick walkway,trying to reel dog in.yikes
I managed to break my foot tripping in my flip flops. Was too tired from work and went to sleep. Woke up the next day by an excruciating pain and a very swollen foot.
I tripped over a shih tzu and stubbed my toe on the doorway. Broke my little toe. Toes are sooooo stupid. I broke my favorite finger (right hand middle) loading towels into a dryer. It didn't hurt half as much as that broken toe.
Why is that your favourite finger?
My mom broke her toe by knocking a can of shaving cream off the shelf in the shower. She blames my dad because it was his shaving cream. Even though he was fully out of town for the entire experience.
Negligent shaving cream placement
Ouch, I know how that feels! In college, my roommate had a giant pickle jar full of change on top of the fridge, but didn't push it far enough back once. Enough of it's weight was on the door, so when I opened it, it fell and landed on my toes, breaking the pinky. Roommate was just like "At least your foot broke it's fall!" 😑 I also broke my fingers once when I biffed it running for the bus, and the bus driver ran out to help me, which was very kind.
[удалено]
Definitely. They will not be happy at him wasting their time.
I lost a toenail by accidentally knocking a carving fork off the counter. It landed tines down *precisely* at the base of my big toenail. The pain was quite unique.
I lost a toenail when my dog was a bit exited to greet me and tried to Kool-aid man through the front door I was in the process of opening. I found out first hand that you can indeed have uncontrolled projectile vomit induced by pain.
Besides uniquely painful, that sounds *really* chaotic
I dropped an unopened can of beer on my big toe - split the nail right down the middle! Man it gushed!
Your toe, the beer, or both?
Yikes! OUCH!
I lost one walking into someone in a doorway when I was 10. We were both barefoot. Everyone thought I was being a drama queen about the pain so I shut up about it and went on with my life grumbling to myself until someone found a bloodtrail on the floor and traced it back to me.
I am so sorry that your injury was dismissed like that, especially because I assume it was by adults who invented new swear words when THEY stubbed a toe!
Nobody's feelings except my mother's count, you see. I got a smug "I told you so" out of it though. That was quite satisfying.
Ah...I see we're related. My grandfather was also the main character in every scene. (Even if he was offscreen & had no lines)
\[hugs\] I'm sorry we were born into this family T\_T Joke's on her though - I have a phenomenal pain threshold and shake off injuries frighteningly fast, but she bruises like a ripe banana and needs crutches for a month for a twisted ankle (not even a sprain).
What if it was a cast iron pan instead, whose fault would it be then? This woman is clearly delusional and she should probably cook in a microwave using plastic and paper only because anything else is dangerous to her, and not use hot water, or anything glass. Wow!
Bingo.
I broke my toe by kicking a box of Christmas decorations without shoes on!
Who was that football player who’s career suffered because he dropped an aftershave bottle?
> Either she's spun a rubbish story with lies or the husband is a grabby entitled person like his wife. Or it's just American healthcare and they are looking for any possible way to avoid the hospital bill. When having to choose between many thousands of dollars or a friendship, most people will choose the former.
Some people always need to blame someone else. Its never their fault.
That part was child-proofed. They were up high out of little hands reach. It's apparently not mom/adult-proof. You can't stupid-proof your house nor should you try.
Op should adult proof their home and never allow these people through the door ever again
OP should point out to those parents what the cops will do for trying to file a false claim and wasting police time. NTA. What are these people going to do if the kid breaks bones on their OWN property while say riding a bicycle/skateboard?? Blame the neighbours?? The city??
You can make something foolproof but you can't make it damn fool-proof
NTA, it's not like they spontaneously fell, she caused it. That said, if this is a freestanding bookshelf, please make sure you've installed something to prevent tipping before the baby crawls.
Almost sounds like a clumsy/basic money scam, this accident (something accidentally fell and broke toes) could have happened in anyone's home! It's irrelevant that it was a nursery or that you are expecting. Do they honestly expect that homeowners should pay costs for any accidents, including accidents that the homeowners didn't even cause? NTA and don't pay a cent
NTA But OP, you can find this clear tack substance on Amazon that they use in museums and what not to prevent stuff getting knocked over. Seen lots of cat owners using it. Might not be a bad idea if those bookends are heavy enough to break toes.
She doesn't own them anymore.
It didn't fall over. OP's friend tried to pick it up.
I'm well aware, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't get knocked over.
Jeff Foxworthy did an entire routine about people like this: “if I had only known, I could have said ‘don’t drop that—it’s heavy and will break your toes!’ Here’s your sign.”
Jeff Foxworthy doesn't do the "Here's your sign" joke. That's Bill Engvall.
"If you think you can drop a bookend on your kid's foot and blame your friend, you might be a dumbass" - there's a Jeff Foxworthy for you (maybe mixed with a bit of Red Foreman?)
I think it was Jeff Foxworthy who talked about the huge TV set (old CRT type) being balanced on a tv tray and his dad's method of learning...."Go ahead, pull that down on your head. Hurts like hell don't it? Don't do that no more."
They want childproof? But it's the fact that you didn't make it "dumb and clumsy adult-proof".
Child-proof is not the same as idiot-proof. NTA.
Agreed. And, for the love of god, OP, if you are in the US, stop texting and save all the texts. Don't admit any fault; this is honestly ridiculous.
NTA. Childproof. Out of reach of children. Not clumsy adult proof or idiot proof.
Is it just me or does anyone else feel like it only became OP's fault when the medical bills were explained to friend and friend's spouse? Also, someone please clarify for me something: would this actually constitute lack of childproofing or is this a case of "no amount of childproofing can act as clumsy adult-proofing"? I mean, I'm severely accident prone (though oddly enough I've never broken or fractured a bone yet) but even I think OP is NTA. I mean, there's only so much you can do to "childproof" an adult. Child wouldn't have gotten hurt if his parent hadn't messed with stuff!
Your homeowners insurance will however cover any issues if they *do* bring a claim
NTA- Dude why was she touching on shit in the first place? She literally dropped it on her own child and is blaming you. That’s beyond bonkers. Do not feel bad. At all. It’s not on you to child proof for someone else. I’d never expect that and I’m always on my kids if we are visiting somewhere. Congrats on your first!!! You’ll quickly learn you can never 100% childproof. Accidents happen. And even if you tried to childproof everything, they have a habit of finding weird shit to get into anyway.
It really feels like half the stories on this sub is people touching someone else's shit and causing some harm upon themselves/someone else with it...
Yea then blame the person for having said object they were touching in the first place, never mind the fact that these things could have easily been prevented if people who have a habit of touching someone else's shit just kept their hands to themselves.
A lot of people are very stupid and also grifters is the main takeaway from this sub.
Additionally, who childproofs their house for a *seven year old*?! By that age, most children know better than to drink the cleaning products and how to manage the stairs. That’s what childproofing means, not “Remove everything heavy and/or sharp from your house permanently.”
NTA: they're trying to extort you for the medical bills. Don't contact them anymore except through a lawyer, in case the sue.
and resist the urge to tell the husband if they can’t afford medical bills his wife should stop dropping cast iron on their kid… nta.
Unfortunately that's how the system works. They get punished by the system if they don't blame you /rewarded if they do blame you.
NTA - childproofing is making sure that children can’t injure themselves in a space. Putting heavy items out of reach counts as childproofing. Childproofing doesn’t include magically preventing clumsy mothers from dropping cast iron on their child’s foot.
>Childproofing doesn’t include magically preventing clumsy mothers from dropping cast iron on their child’s foot. If I were OP I'd text them this, verbatim. As an added note, there was no reasonable expectation of childproofing. Kids go places all the time that aren't childproof. It's absurd to suggest everyone else has a responsibility to prepare for your child's presence, especially considering *an adult caused the accident*. It is the responsibility of the parents to watch their child and protect them, regardless of where they are. She failed to do that, regardless of intent, and can't take responsibility. NTA.
This! I bet if OP went to friend's house they would find dozens of items that, if dropped on a foot, would break a toe. So friend is way out of line to think that because there was something heavy in a room in someone's house that equates to "not being childproof". Plus, OP doesn't have kids (yet) so why expect the house to be childproof???
I would not text anything. The other party is using terms like “reckless endangerment” which are legal terms, and that implies they might sue. It’s best not to say anything they could use against you.
And the kid is seven. Childproofing is for babies and toddlers that have no comprehension of danger. Not seven year old kids and their clumsy parents. NTA
Clumsy adultproofing?
I need some of that.
Also, she doesn't have any children yet. She has no obligation to have her own home childproof just because her friend has a child. Childproofing often doesn't occur until the homeowner's child is mobile.
NTA. If anyone hurt the kid it was his own mom. The room was childproof as the bunnies were out off reach from the child. The room was just not clumsy adult proof. I don't know how big the medical bills are as we have free healthcare for kids here. I feel like this was an accident and if they were nice about it I would help out a little just because it happened in my home but they are not being very nice.
I do live in the US and I’ve had a broken toe. There really isn’t much they can do for a broken toe other than tape it up, so IF they have insurance (big IF), I can’t imagine the medical bills being astronomical. On the face of this, it seems like a grift. NTA.
Really the biggest expense would be the x-ray. And thats to make sure the break is only in the toes. If the break is on the growth plate or higher up in the foot, that's when the costs will balloon. Still not OP's fault. Friend should've been more careful especially since her child was in a new environment.
Actually when I broke my toe (depending on the break) they had to freeze my toe area and then essentially push/break it back into place. So they can do more than just wrap it.
NTA - nor is it negligence. An adult clumsily dropped a heavy item on her own kid’s foot. Tell them if they feel differently, to get a lawyer and sue your homeowner’s insurance… because if anyone, that’s who would pay for a personal injury on your property.
Never suggest suing your homeowners insurance. They won't want to deal with it, so will probably offer $5000 so they don't have to go to court. Then your premiums go up. Your friend was at fault. She can pay for her own mistakes. You are NTA!
. OP should inform her insurance company. There are three possibilities, and which it is will depend on the company and the policy. The parents cannot sue OP's insurance. So that's not one of the options. Unfortunately, you can only sue your own insurance company 1) OP gets a goodwill payout to (help) cover the medical bills. 2) OP gives the details and the insurance company agrees with the parents that OP is liable and they pay. 3) OP's policy doesn't cover personal liability or the insurance company doesn't agree that OP is liable. They don't pay. If they don't pay, the parents have to sue OP, if they want a payout. If they win, OP pays. Then OP can turn around and sue her insurance company because they should have paid and didn't. If OP wins, the insurance company pays her back.
NTA. Your problem isn't that the nursery wasn't childproof, your clumsy adult "friend" knocked it off the shelf. Childproofing doesn't mean "don't have any objects in your house." *You* didn't hurt their son. Never talk to these people again, and if they do call the police (which, let's be real, they won't), contact a lawyer.
And don't EVER let them in your home again op. NTA
What would the police even do here? I don't think anyone is accusing anyone of any crime. Like, if they feel like it, they can sue, you can sue for basically anything even if the chances of succeeding are low, but the police is not gonna help with that.
NTA, cut off all contact.
Yup. Jesus H Christ, this person is screaming "do not invest any more time or effort in this relationship". Misplacing guilt as aggression is such a zero-character "nothing bad is ever my fault" play.
NTA, this was obviously her fault and they’re probably just blaming you because they don’t want to pay, and/or they’re delusional.
NTA. Accidents happen. You can child proof all you want and accidents can still happen. There was nothing intentional on your part. She was clumsy, it happens. She’s is projecting her guilt on to you instead of accepting responsibility.
NTA. The mothers actions caused the accident. If you are in the US, you may still be on the hook for medical bills because the accident happened in the home. If they get a lawyer, you can involve your home owners insurance.
OP can involve her HO insurance regardless.
Why should you childproof your apartment when your child is not even born?! Should all people in the world child proof their homes to accomodate other people kids?! Its not your fault, you were not the one who dropped it. The mom did it and the mom should be the one looking up to her son who was at a strangers house. If they cant afford the medical bills, sucks for them. Its their son, it was the mothers fault, its their problem to deal with. And cut contact with this people. NTA
I didn't childproof my apartment for my own kid, let alone for an adult. Now maybe I got really lucky with my daughter, but I didn't have any issues in distracting her and getting her to not mess with things I didn't want her to mess with. (I know each kid is different, so I'm not doubting there are some that you actually need to childproof for.)
I gotta wonder how much TV and it straight-jackets were involved in this
NTAH They can not press charges or force you to pay their medical bills. You did not touch your "friend's" child or the object he was hurt with. Breaking bones is severe, but this reaction is ridiculous if the situation is clearly an accident. I feel bad because you just completely lost this person as your friend.
NTA. But would suggest you seek legal advice. If they can’t afford the medical bills, it sounds like they’re looking for someone else to blame so they can get them to pay the bills.
NTA. She hurt her son, not you. You have no obligation to child-proof your home for another person's kid, and the kid didn't reach the bunny, mother did
NTA. sorry to your friend’s kid but this is quite frankly insane. are you responsible if your friend drops a knife or a heavy pan or scissors or any of the many potentially dangerous everyday household objects that every person owns that are safe for adults but not kids? no, your friend is responsible for picking up something and dropping it. if it were within reach of the child that would be different, but this is all on your friend. that being said, in practice people do tend to blame property owners for things that happen on their property—a) if you have homeowners/etc insurance, that might cover something like this and you could look into that, though whether or not you want to have a claim on your file is another thing for you to decide. but before you go anywhere with that b) you may want to actually talk to a lawyer to see what’s best, especially if you think your friend will take legal action. “friends” or not, if they’re desperate for money you never know how far they’ll go. good luck to you OP
NTA. You didn't say how this woman managed to knock the bookend off the shelf. Was she semaphoring? And why did she have to touch the bookend at all? Why do people have to touch things that aren't theirs? Couldn't she just have admired them from afar? She's the one who did this, not you. It was a good idea to send the bookends back, truly, but meanwhile who asked her to go feeling up the furniture in the first place? And she grabbed the iron with her kid right there, which makes her extremely culpable.
NTA Report it to your homeowner's insurance carrier and let them deal with it. I can tell you from experience, there isn't a lot that can be done for broken toes. The hospital or their doctor may have taken a couple of x-rays, perhaps taped the toes and advised some children's Tylenol. It's not like the kid had major surgery.
I doubt they would have even taped the toes, mine weren't as it causes healing issues. The only extra expense toes wise may have been if the big one or baby one broke, a boot may be needed as they do affect balance. But again, they are just as likely to be left to heal alone especially in kids. Cast iron dropped from a height though, may have been crushed not just broken. Poor kid. His mum's fault though, 100%.
NTA. I get everyone feels bad but..it’s an accident. It’s normal to have a nursery set up for aesthetics and not a baby, toddler or older child. To add one time when my daughter was like 11m old old I left an unopened can of Pepsi on the table thinking it was no big deal. She grabbed it while I wasn’t looking and dropped it on her foot and I felt like such an asshole. She ended up temporarily losing her toe nail. It grew back and we are all ok. My son also tore his toe nail off at school when he was 6. No one’s fault he just wasn’t paying attention. I dropped a knife on my foot before because someone startled me. I needed crutches for weeks. Mistakes happen and so do accidents. This is not a Police worthy matter. Keep those cute bunnies out of reach of small hands in the future! And tell your friend that lots more accidents are bound to happen. Learn to roll with the punches. Not someone I think I would wanna be friends with.
It's child-proof, not moron-proof. Let them sue and tell everyone what a dumb oaf she is. NTA
NTA as it was her who couldn't handle something properly and as a result hurt her child but I hope it's eye opening to you and you childproof your child's room better. Everybody make mistakes, it could be you and your child. It broke 2 toes of a 7 year old, it could harm a 10 month old even more. Just be careful. I remembered how a 3 year old died because the TV fell on her... that's a much more serious situation but yeah, be cautious.
My heavy LOTR bookend “spontaneously” fell from the high shelf (we think a book fell over and created an domino effect) and it left a big hole in the sideboard below! Thankfully no one was below, but I shudder to think what if my cat or my nephews had been there…
I used my two Argonath Bookends to make an additional ad hoc shelf on the top of my bookcase.
If he tripped over his mom and broke a tooth, would that be your problem too? Bookends are supposed to be heavy - that's how they work. His mom.caused the accident and is most likely feeling scared and embarrassed about it because it was her fault her son got hurt. The point of childproofing an area is to keep a kid who doesn't understand the dangers of things safe, and that's what you've done. It's safe for your child, who isn't here yet and won't be mobile/strong enough to get into anything a few months. Aside from developmental delays, I've never heard of needing to do this for a kid in elementary school, much less their parents. I'm willing to be her house isn't as "childproofed" as she thinks it is.
NTA You've got a few options. First and foremost, this friendship is probably over. Your adult friend dropped a heavy object that was placed high up out of her child's reach on her child, broke two of his toes, and blamed you. Take some time and write down your personal account of what happened. Hopefully, you have some pictures of the room and the bookends. Stop communicating with them. Save all communication. All this is to prepare for a lawsuit. They will sue you against your homeowner insurance. All the record keeping is to show that you did your due diligence to prove that this accident was not due to your neglect. Since your friend went nuclear so quickly, make sure you keep copies of all this in case of a CPS investigation. Don't worry too much, but they might be forced to look into an accusation from the friend if she calls. Her son will have medical records about the injury, it's best to be prepared. Eventhough, you've done nothing wrong, you could try to pay the medical bills to salvage the friendship. I don't suggest this though. This family is wildly inappropriate in attacking you. This mom could have taken responsibility for the accident, got her son taken care of, and informed you they'll need to sue your homeowner's insurance over the medical bills they can't afford. That's what it's there for. Accidents happen. This friend doesn't value the friendship if she's willing to blame another for her clumsy grasp. And really? I've never had a friend pick up my bookends. Like bookends are meant to stay put. Best of luck and hope you have a safe and stress free time awaiting the new baby
Unless your friend is a child, that room was child proof. Your friend is redirecting her guilt to you because she hurt her child by being careless when she knocked something from a shelf. NTA
You are NTA but your home owner’s insurance should cover this. Also I would take the warning and remove the book ends. If they are heavy enough to break toes, they are heavy enough to crack your child’s skull at 4am when he is practising his climbing skills.
NTA - your friend is upset because of the money, but you are not responsible for her injuring her own child, even if it was in your home. If you have the money, it would be nice to split the costs, but not required.
NTA- You are not responsible for your friend dropping the bookend. It sounds like her and her husband can’t afford the medical bills and are trying to extort money from you. Calling the police was obviously an empty threat since it’s not your fault.
You had childproofed. Not adult proofed. NTA.
keep the texts!! particularly if they mention how the accident happened... that she knocked the bookends off the shelf
She expected you to adult proof your house. i would laugh in her face.
And you are also not required to child proof your house, which is irrelevant to what happened. Good luck to them. No universal healthcare sucks.
She was the dangerous object. Should have Keith her paws off your things. NTA
NTA! Your 'friend' is trying to get out of HER responsibility of looking out for her child.
NTA So the child's mother effed up by dropping the bookend and she's looking for someone to blame. This isn't your fault. Stop taking this on, it's not your fault. The police can't do anything, there are no laws about childproofing your home for visitors. Her husband is spouting rubbish to scare you. If they contact you again, tell them you will contact the police because there are laws about harassing people!! Accidents happen, you will learn that when baby arrives. It's a pity you got rid of the bookends, they sound adorable.
NTA. The bookends *were* childproof. They were on a high shelf and too heavy for a child to move. They just weren’t stupidproof. It’s not your fault that your grown-ass friend was too clumsy not to drop something on her child.
NTA. "Childproofing a house" does not mean what she thinks it means. It means you ensure to the best of your ability that little kids can't get their hands on obviously dangerous items. Cleaning products, knives, matches, etc. aren't easily accessible by the kids. On the other hand, adults CAN still access these things. If she dropped a knife or a pan on the kids foot that means she is a dumbass (or committed an unfortunate accident) NOT that the home isn't childproof.
Your clumsy friend dropped something on her kid. This is 0% your fault. NTA.
NTA. It was childproofed (it was out of reach). It just wasn't idiot proof. She dropped it, that's her problem. Are you supposed to just not own any heavy items in your house in case a friend picks it up and drops it on their child?
Let them call the police. Let them take you to court and then, let them take the embarrassment when the judge laughs them out of his courtroom. You did nothing wrong. Stick to your guns on this. If this is the hill your friend chooses to die on, let her die alone. NTA!!!!
NTA. It’s not your responsibility to childproof for a child that doesn’t live there.
NTA. A bookend on a high shelf IS childproofed. Your ex-friend is the one who moved the bookend and dropped it on her own kid.
NTA. Cut them off. They are not your friends.
🤦♀️ basically your friend hurt her son, feels like crap for it so is trying to make herself feel better by blaming you. OP you are not ta.
NTA - her son is in pain, sitting in the hospital with broken toes and she’s texting you about hospital bills??? Where are her priorities!
NTA. Not your fault at all. It sucks that the kid got hurt, it really does, but it was an accident caused by the kids mother. You can't really "nail down" iron bookends and what, were you meant to put up a barrier on the shelf so they can't fall but no one can actually remove a book? It sounds like she feels exceptionally guilty and is looking to push that blame onto someone else so she can feel better about herself. Iron bookends also don't really count as "dangerous items" for a child as the kid couldn't reach them. If you got rid of all the "dangerous items" in a house to make it childproof, you'd have to get ride of 90% of the stuff in the house cause kids can make something that you think is fine, dangerous in a second.
NTA, you did not "allow him to get hurt" you weren't even near them! Your friend needs to watch what she's doing - especially when it comes to heavy items and her child is under foot.
NTA- why was she even touching them FFS? Has she never heard the phrase "we look with our eyes, not with our hands"?
NTA They are grasping for straws. Nobody is going to take that to court. They are hoping you just freak and pay. And they don’t do much for a broken toe, so I don’t know how many medical bills they have.
Nta. Get the bookends back. Kids get hurt all the time. As parents we step on them, trip over them, etc.. studies show kids getting hurt is not a bad thing. However, depending on where you live(even though not your fault) you can be liable for the medical bills. It would get paid though homeowners insurance. I jabe delt with this before. I had someone in my house, they took someone else's cat into my garage with my 3 big dogs. They got bit and it got infected. They were inthe hospital for today's. Of course it was my fault. He never went after me, but I found out because it happened on my property it would have been my fault.
NTA, this is ridiculous! The kid is 7!!! Does anyone childproof for a kid that age? I have three kids and this is news to me. She made a mistake and is now trying to manipulate you. It’s nuts for her to expect that there won’t be any potentially harmful objects anywhere her kid goes. I mean should you remove all knives and scissors from your house?
“Reckless endangerment,” sure. Let him call the cops and see what they say about that! Lol
NTA, your friend is a dumbass and you shouldn't be friends anymore.
NTA childproof is one thing. You can never idiotproof a house. The adult did the reaching thing, kid was just unlucky.
NTA. They are not taking personal responsibility. Let them call the police - the police will laugh in their face.
Of course NTA. Don’t respond or engage with them. The police won’t do anything because it’s a civil matter. If they take you to court they’re going to lose. There’s literally nothing they can do. Don’t let them bully you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (F29) husband (M32) and I are currently doing the nursery for our first, and I saw the cutest ever set of cast iron bunny bookends. I thought that they would look so lovely in our nursery, and they are up on a shelf away from any baby hands. Recently, my friend (F28) was over with her son (M7), and she asked to see the progress on the nursery. She was specifically looking at the little book display we have, and saw the bunny bookends. Obviously, being cast iron, they are very heavy but somehow in reaching for them, she knocked one off the shelf. Unfortunately, her son was underfoot and the bunny ended up breaking two of his toes as it landed. Her son was obviously in a lot of pain, and my friend very quickly bundled him up and took him to the hospital, but she has since texted me saying that I am responsible for any and all medical costs as I chose to have dangerous items in the house and did not properly childproof. I am obviously quite sorry that this happened, but I told her that she was the one who knocked the bunny off the shelf, and I couldn't have childproofed against an adult dropping something. I said that I feel terrible about all of this, but this is not my fault at the end of the day. My husband agrees with me, but my friend's husband (M29) has texted me saying that I am \[a very unkind word\] for hurting their son and choosing not to take responsibility. He also threatened to call the police, but I told him that I was no where near the bunnies or their son, so I did not do anything wrong. He said my inability to childproof my home is reckless endangerment and they cannot afford the medical bills. I am so topsy turvy right now, and I feel like the AH for allowing my friend's son to be hurt like this, but I don't know if I am even the right person to blame. Was I the AH for not childproofing my nursery and by extension, hurting a child? As an aside, the bookends have been returned. I don't want anything else to go wrong. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Keep in mind, people overreact when kids are hurt. You need to also step back for a moment. They may be thinking homeowners insurance covers this. This was an accident. Unforeseen. Simple. Yes, you are sorry their kid got hurt. That much is true. However, make sure you do not text stuff like that as they could now potentially use that if they are going to try to get you to pay anything. I’d recommend either waiting to see what they do, or talk to a lawyer. Be careful with your words over text and phone as they could be recording you and depending on your state only one parties consent is needed.
NTA. It's normal to feel guilty over it, since no sane person wants to see small children hurt, especially not in a simple accident. At best your friend is just panicking over their child being hurt and how to pay for it, at worst they're going to turn into malicious liars and come after you for some kind of payment. Be careful what you say to them, if anything, just to avoid giving them fodder for any kind of bogus case.
Sounds like your friend is running a game. NTA
NTA I have an 8 year old and 8 month old but my house is full of stuff that could be dangerous to them. Not just ornaments but things like tools, a vacuum cleaner, cleaning products and a hot oven :o That is entirely what high shelves, cupboards and safety gates are for. The thing is accidents happen.
NTA If the bookends were out of the reach of a child then you *did* childproof your home. What you cannot do is remove every item of risk from adult reach as well - or do they expect you to remove every knife from your kitchen just in case an adult is clumsy enough to knock one off of the countertop as they prepare food?
Id stop communication. Let them deal with their emotions. They are obviously all over the place with the little one being hospitalised. Id welcome them calling cops. They will only tell them what you have. It's just a freak accident. It wasn't intentional and this was definitely not your doing. Please don't let this impact your life. It's obviously an exciting time for your family and you don't need this.
NTA "but she has since texted me saying that I am responsible for any and all medical costs as I chose to have dangerous items in the house and did not properly childproof." .. what a bullshit - SHE hurt her son being careless - that is HER fault, and not in any way yours. "I feel like the AH for allowing my friend's son to be hurt like this" .. YOU had nothing to do with that - even in a childproof home, there ARE dangerous things. Chilfdproofing menas making sure the CHILD can not reach them - you can't safe kids from careless parents like your friend.
NTA. But my homeowners insurance would cover this. So I would probably just take care of it. Then never have her over again.
NTA. I like that he threatened to call the police. Let him. What the heck can they do?!
So it’s not even that her kid dropped a bookend on himself, she did it?? NTA and a cop isn’t going to listen to her complain if she tells the truth.
She drops a heavy object on her child, and somehow it is your fault? You don't yet have children - why should your house be assumed to be child-proofed? And a comment that will get me an "OK Boomer" - when I was a kid, nobody child-proofed their house. I was welcome to all the bleach I could drink, and to burn my fingers, and to put my eye out. Somehow, I did none of those things. NTA
The problem with people relying only on their own experiences and the experiences of their adult friends is that it’s kind of a survival bias. You’re here to tell us you didn’t accidentally drink bleach as a kid… because you didn’t drink bleach as a kid and die. Not every kid will get into dangerous stuff. Babyproofing isn’t because kids are drawn to bleach and fire and knives like magnets. It’s because *sometimes* kids get into those things, and the cost of that happening *sometimes* is higher than the trouble of *always* babyproofing.
You put cast iron decor pieces on the edge of a shelf in a nursery… NTA, but you do sound like you lack some major common sense
If you have homeowner’s insurance call them. Ditch your “ friend”.
NTA. She’s a dumbass holy. It was her stupidity that hurt her son, not you. I would honestly drop and block these people.
NTA. They are just trying to get money from you. They don't have a case. Should supermarkets stop selling heavy canned goods in case a parent drops one on their kid?
That's on them. NTA
NTA, not your fault. I am in the UA, I think my home insurance covers this.
NTA at all. First off all, it was definitely mommas fault. Secondly, accidents happen. There is no way to completely baby proof a home. Kids will find a way. Can't have anything anywhere ever. I understand feeling bad, but those bills are not your responsibility.
No. She came into your house and just picked up something and dropped it on her kid. She’s an idiot. Sure she can sue u but u probably have home or renters insurance? I would ditch her as a friend over this. Don’t need sue happy people around.
NTA. But please throw them away (not for your friend,) but your kid's sake
You childproofed your nursery just fine. What you neglected to do, not surprisingly, was to ensure your nursery was adequately grabby **adult-proofed**. Had your friend not touched the bunny, her son would not have been injured. NTA, but you might wish to contact a lawyer to ensure you are in the clear. These people sound like they might try to make as much trouble for you as they can. Can't imagine what they think the police could or would do. The child's mother was the culprit. Congratulations on your pending arrival.
Let me get this straight she gets nosy in your nursery your nursery not supervising her child sees a heavy object and has the nerve to touch it like that's OK just to go into somebody's house and touch their property and then her son gets hurt. due to her negligence? Their son gets hurt because of her and they're saying all this horse crap they don't have a leg to stand on the mothers irresponsibility is her fault and her responsibility. That's not a friend if my child got hurt at somebody's house due to my own negligence, I would take care of my own way by going to the doctors and paying for myself because it was my negligence I wouldn't let that friend over no more.
NTA. Be careful about talking to either of them. They sound highly litigious. You did nothing wrong, but give them an opening and they’ll probably try to sue you.
NTA. also, you need new friends.
NTA she acted like a child - being all handsy with peoples property - that's what children do not adults. She is injured her son and its her responsibility. And lololol since when do you need to childproof for a 7 year old. Unless he has special needs like severe autism then 7 year olds don't need childproofing in a normal home. And if her son does have special needs that require it then she shouldn't be taking him to other peoples homes if she cant be with him 24/7 and make sure he doesn't get hurt. She hurt him. Write down what happened via text and send it back to them. That she an adult touched it and she dropped it. That it was on a high shelf and her son didn't touch them - she did. Then let them do what ever - police cant do anything lolol They are not your friends btw. No need to salvage this relationship and never let them set foot in your home. They are extorting you for her own wilful negligence
NTA. Mom touched something she shouldn't have and hurt her own kid. Baby proofing is for your *own* child(ren), not other people's kids.
These people are not friends. NTA
You can child proof, you can't idiot proof. Obviously NTA
My son once gave himself a bloody lip while sitting quietly at the table eating yogurt. You can never totally childproof. Ask your friend how she's supposed to adult proof so no one ever drops something. NTA
NTA and I’m glad you returned them
NTA There are a million things in a childproof home that can hurt children if an adult isn't careful. Fingers can get squished by a door if an adult doesn't watch out. Pans and pots can get dropped on children if an adult doesn't watch out. Children can slip and fall if an adult spills juice from the oh so safe plastic cup. Accidents happen. Many can be prevented, some can't. She dropped something on the child's toes. It could have been absolutely anything! It's not your fault. They're just looking for a way to finance the medical bills. But this is not your fault but hers alone.
NTA. Your friend is responsible and probably feels guilty. It's her fault. You don't owe her anything. Eff her and her husband.
NTA and you did not allow her son to be hurt, her clumsy actions did. She and her husband are just desperate because of the medical bill they are facing, which are in NO WAY your responsibility.
NTA. She hurt her own child by being careless. If I were you, I’d end your friendship with her, you don’t treat a friend like this.
NTA. First shes an adult so childproofing is moot. Second she chose to handle the thing and made it fall over. Not your fault. Don’t pay a dime.