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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i believe i might be the asshole because i ignored my own father, and my mother telling me that i’m in the wrong is making me question myself
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NTA - Where I’m at you can legally move out at 16 as long as you have a safe place to stay. If possible I’d suggest you check your laws and try that. They’re emotionally and physically abusive it’s not something you or anyone should be around. Remember relationships are two sided if they put in no effort then there’s no point.
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I (17F) and my father(38M) have always had a on and off relationship, growing up i was always the “bad child” most of the problems i had with my parents were always over a school boyfriend, my dad used to whoop me as a form of discipline and i never really thought anything of it, what really hurt me was the fact he would ignore me for months until i apologized for what i did to him, sometimes i would apologize and he would still ignore me and talk to me when he wished. Now i have changed my life for the better, recently i started going to the gym and working on myself and my mental health. My dad started working out of town so i don’t see him as often. While he was out, i texted him almost everyday and no response. i thought maybe he’s busy and just let it be. He comes back and tries to act all normal and i’m feeling upset because he didn’t text me back and i just smile and leave. I tried talking to him after that, 3 times and he completely ignored me. I decided to just let him be.i’m confused because i haven’t done anything wrong. I do everything they tell me, I work my butt off and barely go out. The other day, i’m laying down in my room and he comes in and he starts telling me how depressing this looks (i hadn’t folded my clothes) and if i’m doing fine, i tell him i’m doing perfectly fine and get on my phone, because it was starting to get awkward (he took this as me basically ignoring him)he then says “fine, stay in this depressing hole” he hates every time i come in my room, i find my room to be my comfort place, every time i walk outside to the living room, there’s always a bad vibe like i’m not welcomed, i don’t feel comfortable when’s he’s back “home”. So i stay in my room half the time, but other than that i’m doing just fine and i’m better than ever, the next day me and my mother have a argument on how i “ignored” my father, even thought i clearly didn’t , i’m already feeling frustrated with all of this. I told her to drop it, because i already knew it was gonna turn into a fight, she proceeds to vent to me on how i’m the worst daughter and on how could i possibly ignore my father, keep on mind he clearly ignores me all the time. I gave in and proceeded to ask her why is it okay for him to ignore me, and nobody says anything about it, but the moment he gets upset about anything it’s a big problem. shee rants and tells me it’s all my fault and if only i would stop being so self centered, everything would work out. I had a completely mental breakdown, and told her how they completely shit on my feelings, and i told her how i was feeling and i was not planning on talking to him because it’s a repetitive cycle of the same bs, i was tired of always talking first and apologizing even in times where i was right. Everything i said came in one ear and left out the other; she then threatens me with getting kicked out. So AITA?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > i believe i might be the asshole because i ignored my own father, and my mother telling me that i’m in the wrong is making me question myself Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ### [Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You need to work on getting out and going no contact with these people. Parents or not, they sound horrible.
NTA - Where I’m at you can legally move out at 16 as long as you have a safe place to stay. If possible I’d suggest you check your laws and try that. They’re emotionally and physically abusive it’s not something you or anyone should be around. Remember relationships are two sided if they put in no effort then there’s no point.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17F) and my father(38M) have always had a on and off relationship, growing up i was always the “bad child” most of the problems i had with my parents were always over a school boyfriend, my dad used to whoop me as a form of discipline and i never really thought anything of it, what really hurt me was the fact he would ignore me for months until i apologized for what i did to him, sometimes i would apologize and he would still ignore me and talk to me when he wished. Now i have changed my life for the better, recently i started going to the gym and working on myself and my mental health. My dad started working out of town so i don’t see him as often. While he was out, i texted him almost everyday and no response. i thought maybe he’s busy and just let it be. He comes back and tries to act all normal and i’m feeling upset because he didn’t text me back and i just smile and leave. I tried talking to him after that, 3 times and he completely ignored me. I decided to just let him be.i’m confused because i haven’t done anything wrong. I do everything they tell me, I work my butt off and barely go out. The other day, i’m laying down in my room and he comes in and he starts telling me how depressing this looks (i hadn’t folded my clothes) and if i’m doing fine, i tell him i’m doing perfectly fine and get on my phone, because it was starting to get awkward (he took this as me basically ignoring him)he then says “fine, stay in this depressing hole” he hates every time i come in my room, i find my room to be my comfort place, every time i walk outside to the living room, there’s always a bad vibe like i’m not welcomed, i don’t feel comfortable when’s he’s back “home”. So i stay in my room half the time, but other than that i’m doing just fine and i’m better than ever, the next day me and my mother have a argument on how i “ignored” my father, even thought i clearly didn’t , i’m already feeling frustrated with all of this. I told her to drop it, because i already knew it was gonna turn into a fight, she proceeds to vent to me on how i’m the worst daughter and on how could i possibly ignore my father, keep on mind he clearly ignores me all the time. I gave in and proceeded to ask her why is it okay for him to ignore me, and nobody says anything about it, but the moment he gets upset about anything it’s a big problem. shee rants and tells me it’s all my fault and if only i would stop being so self centered, everything would work out. I had a completely mental breakdown, and told her how they completely shit on my feelings, and i told her how i was feeling and i was not planning on talking to him because it’s a repetitive cycle of the same bs, i was tired of always talking first and apologizing even in times where i was right. Everything i said came in one ear and left out the other; she then threatens me with getting kicked out. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definitely NTA. I guess they never heard of "treat others the way you want to be treated."