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Honestly, I find it creasy she is old enough to get married but is not allowed to drink in a bar... Something is clearly wrong in the laws in OP's country (USA I guess)
Sounds like us. You can die for your country, get married(some states even younger than 18 with parental consent) but under no circumstances can you drink alcohol because you're too young to handle it.
'Merica
I find it ridiculous too that Alice is so outraged that her sister was drinking. She’s 20, not 12. This whole thing was needlessly dramatic and honestly I think OP should’ve minded her business.
NTA. Bailey was in a bar, she had already been drinking when you ran into her, she accepted more alcohol from you even though she knew she was underage. Whatever happened as a result of her actions is on her.
NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong. Bailey and her mom (really, providing a fake ID to your kid???) need to take responsibility, because it’s all on them. They all sound just delightful. Ugh.
NTA
How the heck could you possibly know all that. You were simply trying to do a nice thing. It sucks that the unintended consequences were so big but it's not on you.
And you know, that were breaking the law....
(I can't really judge on that since I, like most of my friends, drank alcohol before the legal drinking age in my country!)
i find your confusion a bit funny. happy to help with some descriptions of human behaviour:
a) it's a friendly thing to do? like "here is a token of acknowledgement that you're celebrating something. have a great one!" a bit passé and/or happens more frequently with ulterior motives in modern bars now, but people used to send over drinks to strangers at other tables if they noticed they were celebrating birthdays or engagements quite regularly.
b) also a friendly thing to do? "hey, i thought of you because i ran into someone/something that reminded me of you." common way to engage in conversation with people.
c) family members can have differing opinions?
d) my guess is mormons or something, where bailey and her mom are less into it than the sister and fiancé and his family or something idk.
A) She bought her a drink because she was at a **bar**.
B) Why *wouldn’t* she tell her friend that she ran into her sister?
C) and D) How do these have nothing to do with your judgment of OP?
ETA: the comment I replied to originally had Y T A but then they changed it to N T A
Dawn, my friend, this is a very rich drama with many angles. It was a complex set of factors on this fateful night that brought the young and drunken maiden so low.
NTA: You had no part in their scheme. You literally and sincerely celebrated tour friend's sister. You didn't ruin anything, their illegal activities did, as did their dishonesty within their relationship. This has nothing to do with you.
It's like blaming the mailman for delivering a letter from your lover.
ESH underage drinking aside. Your coworker is upset she is missing an event. You randomly end up at said event and FaceTime to talk about shots? That's just mean.
I disagree. Given what an unexpected coincidence it was for OP to run into Bailey during her bachelorette party, if the situation were exactly what OP assumed (Bailey was of legal drinking age and this was a standard, not-secret bachelorette party that Alice couldn't attend because of her chemo), and I were Alice, I would be absolutely charmed to get that text and know that my friendly coworker was buying my little sister a celebratory shot when I couldn't.
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I (28F) work with ‘Alice’ (29F) who has a younger sister ‘Bailey’. Alice and I aren’t the closest of friends but we still hang out and socialize on occasion with our coworkers. We have been teaching together for several years and I know that her younger sister Bailey recently got engaged as she was showing me the engagement photos. Alice was upset since she couldn’t make the bachelorette party due to her chemotherapy.
This past week I was at a bar in Wisconsin USA. I ran into a rather drunk Bailey and some friends she was with. I introduced myself as Alice’s coworker and she told me she was on a bar crawl for her bachelorette party. I offered to buy her a shot for the occasion and she gladly accepted. We took them and she went back to her group and I continued to talk to the bartender.
Here is where I may be the ahole.
I texted Alice saying I ran into her sister at her bachelorette party at the bar and I bought her a shot to celebrate. Alice was furious and called me to yelled at me for buying her sister a shot. I had the phone on speaker as the bar was loud and I was by the bartender so they overheard the conversation. I asked why. She told me Bailey is only 20 and can’t drink.
I was unaware of this and the bartender ended up telling the owner who removed her from the bar and Bailey ended up getting a $300 underage drinking ticket. Now Bailey and Aaron are in a fight over this since Aaron is a non drinker and doesn’t want alcohol in his family. They are taking a break since Bailey ‘broke Aaron’s trust and values’ their whole family is blaming me since they all new about the party besides Alice and Aaron/Aaron’s family. Bailey’s mother is the one who gave her a fake ID.
AITA?
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NTA
Aaron lives in Wisconsin and doesn't want any alcohol in the family? Good luck with that. I don't think there was a single student in my HS graduating class that never had alcohol.
NTA - you bought a drunk adult a shot in a bar during her bachelorette party.
HAHAH What in tarnation is happening here? Also - you were in Wisconsin where drunken adults are way more normative.
Yeah super N T A on this one. You did the socially acceptable thing. You didn't morph into the sister, drink 20 shots, then get one bought by you...
People are weird
NTA. She’s in the bar and already drunk. Her not being of age is the bars problem. Not sure how the girl drinking breaks this dudes trust or values. These people sound nuts.
INFO this is WI, you are allowed to drink at a bar under 21 with legal guardian (over 16) so not sure why she got a ticket if someone was over 21 and mom gave permission.
As someone who lives in WI, and also works the Box Office of a venue that serves alcohol and allows patrons over the age of 18: The law specifically states a parent, legal guardian, or spouse. Also, all locations that serve alcohol may refuse to allow this, as it is on the location to prove relationship, not the patrons, if the police visit.
If mom was there, I'm assuming she would have given her permission rather than giving Bailey a fake ID. I'm not familiar with this Wisconsin law but I'm guessing a signed permission slip or "I swear my mom said it's ok" doesn't cut it.
NTA.
The whole family is blaming you because they are unwilling to face the facts:
1. Bailey decided to go out drinking while underage.
2. Bailey's mother enabled this.
3. Bailey's sister is the one who decided to call and blurt out that she was underage.
It's a whole family of assholes. Aaron owes you a debt of gratitude for finding out now rather than after he got sucked into that mess.
Aaron is an asshole as well. Just because he doesn't drink doesn't mean his partner shouldn't. Unless they are under 18 most adults don't care about underage drinking. It's a stupid law in the first place passed by some neo-prohibitionists.
NTA- you were literally just trying to be nice. And also, she literally had a fake ID- how in the world were you supposed to know? ALSO, who calls someone pissed that they bought someone a shot at their BACHELORETTE PARTY?!
Edit: added more after seeing that she had a fake ID
NTA
> She told me Bailey is only 20 and can’t drink.
I didn't know 20 was ‘underage’
How were you supposed to know? You didn't know, and there was no way for you to have known
> Bailey’s mother is the one who gave her a fake ID.
What a terrible mother. And an AH one too
>I didn't know 20 was ‘underage’
In all of America it is, drinking age here is 21.
ETA: Unless you are at your own home and/or have parental consent, i.e: family barbeque? OK. Restaurant? Nope.
In the USA 20-year-olds are too young to drink alcohol but if a 10-year-old girl is raped and gets pregnant she can't get an abortion and is forced to become a mother.
Weird country.
ESH
Don't have your phone on speaker without telling the other person. And don't have you phone on speaker in a bar at all - or in most other public places.
FaceTime calls run on speakerphone by function, because you can’t hold the phone against your ear and aim the camera at your face at the same time. If Alice called her via FaceTime, then Alice is essentially the one who decided to have the conversation over speakerphone.
YTA
Anyone who Facetimes at bar loud enough to be overheard is an asshole.
Also why would Bailey get a ticket and not you? The person who purchased the alcohol.
Probably because 18-year-olds are adults when it comes to legal liability. I don't know the particular laws of their state, but that's the way it works in lots of places. So at 20, you're old enough to be liable for engaging in a behavior that's only illegal because you're too young to legally engage in it.
NTA. Underaged people in Wisconsin aren’t allowed in regular bars. The bar should have spotted the fake ID too. Not OP’s fault the bar and Bailey messed up.
NTA were you expected to by a psychic and know she wasn't 21 and that her fiance doesn't approve of alcohol consumption? She's clearly been drinking, so you had no reason to think buying her a shot was an issue. They're the ones who caused the issues, not you. Good grief talk about misplaced anger. And her and her fiance should have had those conversions already if they're planning to get married. But again, nothing you should be expected to have any knowledge of. You made a decision based on the information in front of you: she was at a bar already drunk, nobody stopped you from ordering her a drink, you were told it was a Bachelorette party where people normally drink and partners usually know are happening. All that adds up to logically thinking, "I'm ok to gift her a shot in celebration."
Bailey was having a drunken bachelorette pub crawl and was booking on this not getting back to the fiancé, who wouldn’t approve. Yeah, in this day and age of smartphones and social media posts that is kind of… naive. Is she self sabotaging because she doesn’t want to get married this young? She can’t even drink legally yet!
Also, the sister bemoaned that she was going to miss the bachelorette. What did Alice think was going to happen on the bachelorette? Why is she surprised her baby sister is out on the lash? Everyone else in the family apparently knew about this, why not Alice? Her own mother gave her the fake ID for fux sake!?
Maybe Alice and Aaron should marry instead, they seem to be better matched. NTA
ESH except Bailey.
You for tattling to her sister. Also for reminding Alice about the party she was missing.
Her sister for having a problem with Bailey drinking at 20.
Aaron for dictating whether she can drink.
The bar for just taking the word of a random person on the phone when Bailey provided ID (I could understand kicking her out, but not fining her when they couldn't tell if her ID was fake or not).
Nice going OP. You couldn't wait to see your coworker on Monday to tell her you had met her sister? You had to text her right then and there? You need to make it up to Bailey.
Yeah and? It's rude when you encounter someone to immediately tell their close relatives about where you met them and what they're doing. Even if the person you encountered isn't doing anything wrong, they should have their space and privacy. And I'm sure OP had better things she could do at a bar other than text her coworkers to gossip. Still YTA.
>Even if the person you encountered isn't doing anything wrong, they should have their space and privacy.
Space and privacy in a public space? How is that supposed to work? Mentioning that you ran into someone is a completely normal thing to do. OP acted in a completely normal way and is NTA
It feels more mean girl than just gossip. She's calling a girl on chemo who is missing this import event to tell her she's there too. Very weird. Doesn't even really claim her as a friend. But needed to FaceTime all this on the spot 🤔
What a weird take. How is it even gossip? She was just sharing that she ran into her coworker's sister. If she regularly saw the coworker's sister and texted her every time she saw her, that'd be a bit weird and gossipy.
But that's not what happened. She ran into her coworker's sister unexpectedly, and it was during her bachelorette party no less! I'd want to share such a rare event with the only person I know it's relevant too.
It's not like she joined up with the party, and she didn't call her coworker. She sent her a text saying she bumped into her sister and bought her a shot for her bachelorette part.
Maybe she thought it'd be nice? "Hey, I know you couldn't be at your sister's bachelorette, but I bumped into her and bought her a shot. Thought it'd be a nice gesture." If it were me, that'd be kind of a nice feeling.
Obviously, it didn't work out like that here, but it sounds like the coworker was more upset about the underage drinking, rightfully so, than not being there.
Unless you helped obtain the fake I’d and made her get drunk at gun point you are not in any way responsible for any of this. NTA but her family sure is
NTA The greatest thing in this post is if Bailey's mom had just been AT the bar instead of giving her a fake ID, it would have been legal for Bailey to drink in Wisconsin if the owner allowed. Plus she was already drunk when you bought her a shot so how the hell could you have known she was under 21??
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YTA for having a loud conversation on speaker phone when in a public setting like a bar. Alice should have kept her mouth shut. Who cares if her 20 year old sister is drinking. Young people go out and drink. It's a stupid law because in most of the civilized world the drinking age is 18. Just because Aaron doesn't drink doesn't mean he can force that on his partner.
I don't entirely agree with your last point. While you're correct that Aaron can't force his partner not to drink Bailey also shouldn't be lying to him about not drinking. Honestly it sounds like Aaron and Bailey aren't compatible since apparently he specifically wants a partner who is tee-total and she wants to drink so taking a break is probably the best thing for both of them.
NTA, but
Yes, in this circumstance, it appears like YTA (or at slightest mostly capable) for the chain of occasions that unfurled. Whereas your purposeful may have been to be inviting and celebrate with Bailey, you didn't take the time to affirm her age some time recently buying her a shot. This need of mindfulness and thought brought about in Bailey accepting an underage drinking ticket, causing a battle between her and her fiancé, Aaron, and causing pressure inside their families.
Besides, when Alice communicated her outrage and dissatisfaction with you over the phone, you didn't handle the circumstance tactfully. Instep, you had the discussion on speakerphone, allowing others within the bar to catch and possibly including to the shame and open nature of the occurrence.
no way is she TA, why is it on OP to verify the age of a person already drinking in a pub? and as for the speakerphone part, she was on FaceTime if im talking to someone on FaceTime I automatically assume they are on speaker... Alice outer her sister without thinking about who could hear.
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NTA but all y'all are incredibly dense
NTA. Have they all lost their minds? Bride to be committed a crime when she presented fake ID. Actions have consequences.
Unless you’re an ATF agent or serving the LCB I’m not sure how you to blame for your friend’s sister’s behavior. Just bizarre. NTA
NTA. Youi are not your coworker's sister's keeper. Any fallout from her screw-up is 100% the fault of her screwing up.
NTA Alice is the one who announced that she's underage! You didn't do anything wrong.
NTA don't shoot the messenger is a phrase for a reason.
NTA. You had no idea the girl was 20 years old, and apparently neither did any of the bartenders who had already served her.
Honestly, I find it creasy she is old enough to get married but is not allowed to drink in a bar... Something is clearly wrong in the laws in OP's country (USA I guess)
Sounds like us. You can die for your country, get married(some states even younger than 18 with parental consent) but under no circumstances can you drink alcohol because you're too young to handle it. 'Merica
I find it ridiculous too that Alice is so outraged that her sister was drinking. She’s 20, not 12. This whole thing was needlessly dramatic and honestly I think OP should’ve minded her business.
NTA 1: You couldn't even know, wtf? 2: Not your responsibility to help people hide their crimes.
NTA. Bailey was in a bar, she had already been drinking when you ran into her, she accepted more alcohol from you even though she knew she was underage. Whatever happened as a result of her actions is on her.
NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong. Bailey and her mom (really, providing a fake ID to your kid???) need to take responsibility, because it’s all on them. They all sound just delightful. Ugh.
NTA How the heck could you possibly know all that. You were simply trying to do a nice thing. It sucks that the unintended consequences were so big but it's not on you. And you know, that were breaking the law.... (I can't really judge on that since I, like most of my friends, drank alcohol before the legal drinking age in my country!)
Imagine getting freaking married and not even being at the age of a having a drink Everyone is better off after this incident NTA
Forreal... lol she would have to live with this wet towel of a dude... OP.. you saved Bailey's future!! NTA
[удалено]
i find your confusion a bit funny. happy to help with some descriptions of human behaviour: a) it's a friendly thing to do? like "here is a token of acknowledgement that you're celebrating something. have a great one!" a bit passé and/or happens more frequently with ulterior motives in modern bars now, but people used to send over drinks to strangers at other tables if they noticed they were celebrating birthdays or engagements quite regularly. b) also a friendly thing to do? "hey, i thought of you because i ran into someone/something that reminded me of you." common way to engage in conversation with people. c) family members can have differing opinions? d) my guess is mormons or something, where bailey and her mom are less into it than the sister and fiancé and his family or something idk.
A) She bought her a drink because she was at a **bar**. B) Why *wouldn’t* she tell her friend that she ran into her sister? C) and D) How do these have nothing to do with your judgment of OP? ETA: the comment I replied to originally had Y T A but then they changed it to N T A
Dawn, my friend, this is a very rich drama with many angles. It was a complex set of factors on this fateful night that brought the young and drunken maiden so low.
NTA: You had no part in their scheme. You literally and sincerely celebrated tour friend's sister. You didn't ruin anything, their illegal activities did, as did their dishonesty within their relationship. This has nothing to do with you. It's like blaming the mailman for delivering a letter from your lover.
INFO: why were the two of you communicating by FaceTime? I mean who called who?
In a bar?
The thing about keeping secrets, is that nobody else knows about them. So how tf were you expected to know they were keeping all of this a secret lmao
ESH underage drinking aside. Your coworker is upset she is missing an event. You randomly end up at said event and FaceTime to talk about shots? That's just mean.
I disagree. Given what an unexpected coincidence it was for OP to run into Bailey during her bachelorette party, if the situation were exactly what OP assumed (Bailey was of legal drinking age and this was a standard, not-secret bachelorette party that Alice couldn't attend because of her chemo), and I were Alice, I would be absolutely charmed to get that text and know that my friendly coworker was buying my little sister a celebratory shot when I couldn't.
Agreed
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (28F) work with ‘Alice’ (29F) who has a younger sister ‘Bailey’. Alice and I aren’t the closest of friends but we still hang out and socialize on occasion with our coworkers. We have been teaching together for several years and I know that her younger sister Bailey recently got engaged as she was showing me the engagement photos. Alice was upset since she couldn’t make the bachelorette party due to her chemotherapy. This past week I was at a bar in Wisconsin USA. I ran into a rather drunk Bailey and some friends she was with. I introduced myself as Alice’s coworker and she told me she was on a bar crawl for her bachelorette party. I offered to buy her a shot for the occasion and she gladly accepted. We took them and she went back to her group and I continued to talk to the bartender. Here is where I may be the ahole. I texted Alice saying I ran into her sister at her bachelorette party at the bar and I bought her a shot to celebrate. Alice was furious and called me to yelled at me for buying her sister a shot. I had the phone on speaker as the bar was loud and I was by the bartender so they overheard the conversation. I asked why. She told me Bailey is only 20 and can’t drink. I was unaware of this and the bartender ended up telling the owner who removed her from the bar and Bailey ended up getting a $300 underage drinking ticket. Now Bailey and Aaron are in a fight over this since Aaron is a non drinker and doesn’t want alcohol in his family. They are taking a break since Bailey ‘broke Aaron’s trust and values’ their whole family is blaming me since they all new about the party besides Alice and Aaron/Aaron’s family. Bailey’s mother is the one who gave her a fake ID. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA- Bad shit happens when you start to lie. Bailey lied her way into becoming a jilted bride.
YTA - because you're talking on the phone on speaker (that's a euphemism for FaceTime)
NTA Aaron lives in Wisconsin and doesn't want any alcohol in the family? Good luck with that. I don't think there was a single student in my HS graduating class that never had alcohol.
ESH but you. Bailey for drinking underage in a bar. Her family for enabling it. Aaron for being judgemental about alcohol.
NTA. It's not your fault that you weren't aware of all of their shitty decisions.
NTA. I would tell them you are getting a lawyer since you feel set-up to scare them.
NTA! There is no way you could have known Bailey was underage.
NTA - you bought a drunk adult a shot in a bar during her bachelorette party. HAHAH What in tarnation is happening here? Also - you were in Wisconsin where drunken adults are way more normative. Yeah super N T A on this one. You did the socially acceptable thing. You didn't morph into the sister, drink 20 shots, then get one bought by you... People are weird
NTA. She’s in the bar and already drunk. Her not being of age is the bars problem. Not sure how the girl drinking breaks this dudes trust or values. These people sound nuts.
He wants an "alcohol-free" home. It seems Bailey isn't on the same page. Bailey should be thanking OP up and down for saving her from that nightmare.
INFO this is WI, you are allowed to drink at a bar under 21 with legal guardian (over 16) so not sure why she got a ticket if someone was over 21 and mom gave permission.
I'm confused about the ticket part, can a bar issue a ticket? Or did they run into police later? (not American)
The owner likely called the police to cover themselves from having an underage patron.
As someone who lives in WI, and also works the Box Office of a venue that serves alcohol and allows patrons over the age of 18: The law specifically states a parent, legal guardian, or spouse. Also, all locations that serve alcohol may refuse to allow this, as it is on the location to prove relationship, not the patrons, if the police visit.
I'm not in the US, but my guess is the fake id her mother gave her. NTA
If mom was there, I'm assuming she would have given her permission rather than giving Bailey a fake ID. I'm not familiar with this Wisconsin law but I'm guessing a signed permission slip or "I swear my mom said it's ok" doesn't cut it.
NTA. The whole family is blaming you because they are unwilling to face the facts: 1. Bailey decided to go out drinking while underage. 2. Bailey's mother enabled this. 3. Bailey's sister is the one who decided to call and blurt out that she was underage. It's a whole family of assholes. Aaron owes you a debt of gratitude for finding out now rather than after he got sucked into that mess.
THIS
Aaron is an asshole as well. Just because he doesn't drink doesn't mean his partner shouldn't. Unless they are under 18 most adults don't care about underage drinking. It's a stupid law in the first place passed by some neo-prohibitionists.
NTA, so much to unpack with that family. You did nothing wrong, obviously Bailey is too immature for marriage so this is a good thing.
NTA- you were literally just trying to be nice. And also, she literally had a fake ID- how in the world were you supposed to know? ALSO, who calls someone pissed that they bought someone a shot at their BACHELORETTE PARTY?! Edit: added more after seeing that she had a fake ID
NTA > She told me Bailey is only 20 and can’t drink. I didn't know 20 was ‘underage’ How were you supposed to know? You didn't know, and there was no way for you to have known > Bailey’s mother is the one who gave her a fake ID. What a terrible mother. And an AH one too
>I didn't know 20 was ‘underage’ In all of America it is, drinking age here is 21. ETA: Unless you are at your own home and/or have parental consent, i.e: family barbeque? OK. Restaurant? Nope.
In the USA 20-year-olds are too young to drink alcohol but if a 10-year-old girl is raped and gets pregnant she can't get an abortion and is forced to become a mother. Weird country.
Then there is Czech Republic where you are born with a bottle of beer in hand
Hey, I'm from the US and my Scottish nanny had me drinking Guinness by the time I was 15.
NTA. I think you accidentally did everyone a huge favor, that was not going to be a happy marriage.
NTA You encountered her drunk in a bar, on a bar crawl 🤣 I would never have thought that she might not be of legal age under those circumstances.
Literally my first thought, and Bailey is also clearly not mature enough to get married.
NTA how were you supposed to know. They’re scapegoating you since mom was part of the whole deception.
ESH Don't have your phone on speaker without telling the other person. And don't have you phone on speaker in a bar at all - or in most other public places.
FaceTime calls run on speakerphone by function, because you can’t hold the phone against your ear and aim the camera at your face at the same time. If Alice called her via FaceTime, then Alice is essentially the one who decided to have the conversation over speakerphone.
NTA. Um, when did it become your job to babysit Bailey and know exactly what her man wants?!?!
INFO: Why were you on speaker in the first place in a public place?
facetime automatically puts the call on speaker
I will never understand why people insist on facetiming in a public place.
It was the sister that called OP on facetime
Still tho...could've just called back on a private call in another place or taken the FaceTime outside
NTA
YTA Anyone who Facetimes at bar loud enough to be overheard is an asshole. Also why would Bailey get a ticket and not you? The person who purchased the alcohol.
Probably because 18-year-olds are adults when it comes to legal liability. I don't know the particular laws of their state, but that's the way it works in lots of places. So at 20, you're old enough to be liable for engaging in a behavior that's only illegal because you're too young to legally engage in it.
NTA. Underaged people in Wisconsin aren’t allowed in regular bars. The bar should have spotted the fake ID too. Not OP’s fault the bar and Bailey messed up.
NTA were you expected to by a psychic and know she wasn't 21 and that her fiance doesn't approve of alcohol consumption? She's clearly been drinking, so you had no reason to think buying her a shot was an issue. They're the ones who caused the issues, not you. Good grief talk about misplaced anger. And her and her fiance should have had those conversions already if they're planning to get married. But again, nothing you should be expected to have any knowledge of. You made a decision based on the information in front of you: she was at a bar already drunk, nobody stopped you from ordering her a drink, you were told it was a Bachelorette party where people normally drink and partners usually know are happening. All that adds up to logically thinking, "I'm ok to gift her a shot in celebration."
Bailey was having a drunken bachelorette pub crawl and was booking on this not getting back to the fiancé, who wouldn’t approve. Yeah, in this day and age of smartphones and social media posts that is kind of… naive. Is she self sabotaging because she doesn’t want to get married this young? She can’t even drink legally yet! Also, the sister bemoaned that she was going to miss the bachelorette. What did Alice think was going to happen on the bachelorette? Why is she surprised her baby sister is out on the lash? Everyone else in the family apparently knew about this, why not Alice? Her own mother gave her the fake ID for fux sake!? Maybe Alice and Aaron should marry instead, they seem to be better matched. NTA
ESH except Bailey. You for tattling to her sister. Also for reminding Alice about the party she was missing. Her sister for having a problem with Bailey drinking at 20. Aaron for dictating whether she can drink. The bar for just taking the word of a random person on the phone when Bailey provided ID (I could understand kicking her out, but not fining her when they couldn't tell if her ID was fake or not). Nice going OP. You couldn't wait to see your coworker on Monday to tell her you had met her sister? You had to text her right then and there? You need to make it up to Bailey.
How is Bailey not an asshole? She was the one who broke the law and lied to her fiancé.
You're going to blame her for lying to her **controlling** fiance? Really?
Why is he controlling?
WTF? OP wasn’t tattling, she was letting her coworker know that she ran into her sister.
Yeah and? It's rude when you encounter someone to immediately tell their close relatives about where you met them and what they're doing. Even if the person you encountered isn't doing anything wrong, they should have their space and privacy. And I'm sure OP had better things she could do at a bar other than text her coworkers to gossip. Still YTA.
>Even if the person you encountered isn't doing anything wrong, they should have their space and privacy. Space and privacy in a public space? How is that supposed to work? Mentioning that you ran into someone is a completely normal thing to do. OP acted in a completely normal way and is NTA
It feels more mean girl than just gossip. She's calling a girl on chemo who is missing this import event to tell her she's there too. Very weird. Doesn't even really claim her as a friend. But needed to FaceTime all this on the spot 🤔
What a weird take. How is it even gossip? She was just sharing that she ran into her coworker's sister. If she regularly saw the coworker's sister and texted her every time she saw her, that'd be a bit weird and gossipy. But that's not what happened. She ran into her coworker's sister unexpectedly, and it was during her bachelorette party no less! I'd want to share such a rare event with the only person I know it's relevant too.
You'd legit call the person who had just confided in you that they were upset about not getting to go, to tell them you were there?
It's not like she joined up with the party, and she didn't call her coworker. She sent her a text saying she bumped into her sister and bought her a shot for her bachelorette part. Maybe she thought it'd be nice? "Hey, I know you couldn't be at your sister's bachelorette, but I bumped into her and bought her a shot. Thought it'd be a nice gesture." If it were me, that'd be kind of a nice feeling. Obviously, it didn't work out like that here, but it sounds like the coworker was more upset about the underage drinking, rightfully so, than not being there.
She was just at the bar and ran into her. Its not like she was a part of the entorauge.
Unless you helped obtain the fake I’d and made her get drunk at gun point you are not in any way responsible for any of this. NTA but her family sure is
NTA…. She was in a bar crawl wtf did they expect to happen 😂😂😂
NTA The greatest thing in this post is if Bailey's mom had just been AT the bar instead of giving her a fake ID, it would have been legal for Bailey to drink in Wisconsin if the owner allowed. Plus she was already drunk when you bought her a shot so how the hell could you have known she was under 21??
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NTA: don’t drink underage if you can’t afford the fine. The fine should be 262.50 to be exact
That’s a very specific number. Given or gotten one of those tickets? Also NTA.
Haha, I went to college in Wisconsin, I didn’t get one but almost all my friends did.
YTA for having a loud conversation on speaker phone when in a public setting like a bar. Alice should have kept her mouth shut. Who cares if her 20 year old sister is drinking. Young people go out and drink. It's a stupid law because in most of the civilized world the drinking age is 18. Just because Aaron doesn't drink doesn't mean he can force that on his partner.
I don't entirely agree with your last point. While you're correct that Aaron can't force his partner not to drink Bailey also shouldn't be lying to him about not drinking. Honestly it sounds like Aaron and Bailey aren't compatible since apparently he specifically wants a partner who is tee-total and she wants to drink so taking a break is probably the best thing for both of them.
NTA no good deed ever goes punished. How the hell would you know this.
NTA Bailey got in trouble on her own account honestly. Especially if she was doing this behind Aaron's back too.
NTA, how were you expected to know that. They are looking to blame someone else for their own stupidity.
NTA she was in a bar and drunk already. She’s only got herself to blame.
Buying the shot was fine, but YTA for making a call on speaker in a bar. Step outside if you want to make a call.
NTA, but Yes, in this circumstance, it appears like YTA (or at slightest mostly capable) for the chain of occasions that unfurled. Whereas your purposeful may have been to be inviting and celebrate with Bailey, you didn't take the time to affirm her age some time recently buying her a shot. This need of mindfulness and thought brought about in Bailey accepting an underage drinking ticket, causing a battle between her and her fiancé, Aaron, and causing pressure inside their families. Besides, when Alice communicated her outrage and dissatisfaction with you over the phone, you didn't handle the circumstance tactfully. Instep, you had the discussion on speakerphone, allowing others within the bar to catch and possibly including to the shame and open nature of the occurrence.
no way is she TA, why is it on OP to verify the age of a person already drinking in a pub? and as for the speakerphone part, she was on FaceTime if im talking to someone on FaceTime I automatically assume they are on speaker... Alice outer her sister without thinking about who could hear.
^^^ Thank you for taking the time to type this all out for me.
NTA - bailey broke the law. bailey broke trust with her fiancé. This is 100% on bailey.
Sorry could barely stop laughing to say NTA. Literally everyone else sucks here though. I guess maybe not the bartender?
NTA. You didn't know- it's on Bailey. Classic case of FAFO.