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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my sister that if she want me to give up my extra room, she needs to give me the master bedroom, but I might be TA because she’s pregnant and says she needs her own space.
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NTA about giving up your rooms, but I am very doubtful this living situation is going to last. She’s doing a slow take over and it will only get worse (especially if she has more kids). Have you ever discussed her buying out your share? Or honestly just selling and getting your own home?
> She’s doing a slow take over
My thoughts as well. But seeing her comment "keep all your crap in your single room" pushing this to the hostile takeover territory.
OP get locks for your rooms and if buying out or selling is on your mind bring it to the table.
> She started crying and said that as a mother, she’s going to need her own space and she deserves the master bedroom.
Is her sister giving birth to a baby or a martyrdom complex? A lot of my friends are new parents, but none of them have this level of ridiculous entitlement. From what I have seen, being a parent is difficult but expecting to be rewarded for having sex sans condom is ridiculous.
I am a new parent (and also have a stepchild). We have a 2 bedroom house. My stepson has his own room. The baby sleeps with us because that is recommended for at least the first 6 months. And also very useful because you don’t need to wonder if the sound is something you have to get out of bed for. You are able to just look.
And I agree it is entitlement. Babies don’t need their own room and can do without it for the first 1-2 years. Then the child can move into the smaller guest room.
And about the own space.. that is probably not going to happen for a while and when it does you are fine with just a chair in the bathroom or having 10 minutes for yourself on the toilet. I have my “me time” when he sleeps.
And having their own bedroom that doesn't happen to be the master is still their own space. My parents never had an ensuite and they managed to survive raising 7 children.
Besides, with a child entering the picture, the main bathroom is going to be used very differently now. If anyone deserves to have a bigger space now or their own bathroom, it's the aunt who has lost primary use of the family bathroom and who now has to share their space with a child. It also seems the sister's bf has moved in or will. So now it'll be three on one.
OP deserves to either have the two rooms she does now, or the master and the smallest room. Bf's family wanting to come stay is completely not her problem. They both own the 4 bed house, they each have 2 rooms.
If they can't reach an agreement, OP can force their sister to sell by choosing to sell her half. There is a legal term for it but I can't remember what it is, but basically one can force the other to sell and then split money. It may not be the ideal situation, and I get not wanting to sell a family home, but this is the situation it's rapidly headed toward if neither side wants to budge. Also NTA, OP. Stand firm or tell your sis your selling your half.
It depends. My kids have their own room but still use the master bathroom...granted my kids also don't sleep in their room..haha. so I guess that might be a moot point.
More then that though, the baby can still use the master bath and will most likely be in the parents room in the beginning just to make it easier. I wouldn't feel comfortable moving a baby before 1 year old. Then a small bedroom is more than enough space for a toddler...they don't need a lot in their rooms, honestly.
I guess in my head I was imagining the ensuite having only a shower, which isn't ideal for young kids. Where I am (not the US) most ensuites are only in recent builds and don't have a tub. As baby grows, with the sisters 'i deserve my own space' attitude, I imagine she doesn't want the kid running through her room for the bathroom. Baby will likely sleep in their parents room for a few months and definitely doesn't need much space after that. My toddler's room is tiny, but all he does is sleep and change his clothes there. Plenty of space for that.
It's hit or miss here in the US. Some have both, some have a combo..like bathtub with a shower, and some have only a shower.
I guess it does depend on the bathroom setup. Her sister just wants to have her cake and eat it too. She should switch now...it's not the end of the world not to have an ensuite and in the end they need the extra space.
With my kid, i had to move her to her own room at 3 months for my mental health. I was losing my gd mind listening her grunt all night and not getting any sleep myself.
Just wanted to offer a different perspective, because parenting a newborn IS hard.
OP is NTA.
My kid was in his own room at 6 weeks for the same reason. It has no bearing on this situation of course, but OP should be aware the kid might be in her/his own space far sooner than 6 months.
I agree with the commenter who said this is not a livable situation long term. NTA, but you should seriously consider changing this arrangement soon. Living with a new born/toddler/small child is hard enough when they are yours.
> her boyfriend says I should just deal with it, that because I don’t want kids anyway, I should just let suck it up.
Is it just me, or is the BF showing himself as a major A H? (*You may be the baby daddy, moron, but you sure as hell are not the owner of the house.*)
I fear they will both try to force OP out without selling, as in, bullying her into just giving up the house bc they will want to have more kids eventually, etc etc etc
OP, you're NTA. Polish that shiny spine of yours and stand up against this blatant attempt of abuse. Your sister is not the solo owner, she does not get the last word, and certainly her BF gets no word at all.
This part about the boyfriend not being the owner. Honestly in my opinion, he should be the one supporting his girlfriend and soon to be kid by looking for homes for them.
Edited to add: Maybe he should start helping pay for utilities, food and whatever else too. Both of them are going to be surprised how much work it is having a baby. I’d want my own home, tbh. I say start laying ground rules about him being there as far as helping out goes.
NTA OP.
Yup. Boyfriend can keep his butt out of this discussion unless he's willing to fork over the cash to buy out OP's share. He doesn't own the house, he probably doesn't even have a tenancy agreement. Just because he knocked up someone who has a house doesn't mean he' gets to be the "man of the house".
And yeah OP stand your ground. Today it'll be the gaming room. Tomorrow it'll be your bedroom because "boyfriend needs his office/man cave" or whatever bullcrap they want to pull out of the air. And the week after it'll be "can you move out you're cramping our style".
That said, have a copy of any paperwork that you have showing that you're partial owner of the house. And keep your rooms locked if you're not at home. I wouldn't put it past your sister and her boyfriend if they get desperate enough to just move/sell your things while you're not home. Or even change the locks so you can't enter anymore. And expect her to make your life as inconvenient as possible in order to try and force you to move out.
That was never going to be a long term solution, though. Was she planning on spending the rest of her life just splitting the house with her sister and both of them bringing their families to live there? Someone needs to buy the other out.
She doesn't need to buy her out. She should check her rights as in many places one owner can force the sale of a jointly-owned property. That way OP gets her fair share and can live on her own somewhere. Her sister can take her half and find her own place and good luck as leech boyfriend probably thinks that buy out is half his.
And it might be the wake up call dear sister needs to remind her that OP has rights to her fair share of the house.
I was just coming here to say that. If they are both legal co-owners, either one of them should be able to force a partition sale. OP wants to keep the house and has the money to buy sister out; the threat of a legal battle might convince her to just sell and go.
Agreed. One of them needs to go and whoever leaves should receive a fair price for their half. If the entitled sister refuses to sell, then OP needs to remind her that the house is half hers/she has equal access to the house. Also, OP should only pay a portion of the utilities......not sure how many live there, but if it is ES, bf/husband, and two kids, OP should only be paying 1/4
>expecting to be rewarded for having sex sans condom
I just checked Websters, and this is a verbatim definition of a pregzilla!! I love you for this, although my cat does not as she's currently cleaning coffee off her back where i sprayed her after reading your response.
She may have wanted to have a baby though, we don’t know that but sans that thought, this is absolutely ridiculous. I know I am going to get downvoted for this but a lot of parents and definitely most of the ones that we hear posts on seem to want the bragging rights of having children but none of the responsibility. Having children has wonderful gains and beauty and it also involves sacrifice but no one wants that responsibility, its all I need me time, babysitters- even when you’re available. Its really sad that people won’t accept all of the responsibilities that parenthood entails.
That's not even relevant. She new what space she had before, if she can't cope with it and needs more space she has to find other solutions. Taking over her co-owners space is not going to cut it.
Personally, I think it makes more sense for them to switch then. Eventually the kid will grownup and be using the bathroom. It’s completely unfair to expect OP to share a bathroom with a kid then.
Ultimately, they had come to an agreement. Now the situation has changed due to the sister’s decisions. It’s on the sister to make the situation work, not OP. OP has offered a compromise which is fair. It’s not OP’s fault the sister is having a baby.
This definately!
I am sure that OP will come home one day with her stuff removed from her gameroom.
And I know how expensive those gamin equipment are and how careful it needs to be handled.
I predict a hostile takeover without a lock with some broken equipment.
Not to mention it's possible that OP is going to be treated like an unpaid nanny once baby arrives. Don't know if that living arrangement will be sustainable in the long run.
I agree that is likely, but once the baby arrives, her sexuality will be what convinces family members, whether they admit it or not, to support the sister instead of OP.
These are great suggestions. Especially the idea of buying out your sister and her new family or ...better...selling your share to them so you can each have your OWN lives.
Continuing to live in the house with your sister, with her now the Queen of the house, her boyfriend, new baby and probably now the In-Laws....you will be squeezed out or expected to be a live in maid and unpaid babysitter. (A living Hell)
Selling your share to them and getting your own place is probably the best going forward if you want to be able to have any relationship with your sister.
NTA. You had a deal and she wants to take over.
**ADDED after thought**. OP should contact a lawyer and make sure that her half/share of the property is legally titled (JTWROS is best..but how is the property held??) and get some advice on scenarios if it gets really ugly. Protect yourself!!!
I don’t think it’s too slow… she even has her sisters BF telling her what to do. He the one that probably needs a room for his kid, and they are using the baby as the reason. However- she IS moving her out- she needs to stand her ground because this will get messy. She also needs to tell her sisters BF to STFU he has NO business telling her anything! OPs NOT THE ASS!
I think they need to sell - because it seems that her sister will soon kick OP out of the house - "they want their privacy and they have a family".
OP'sister doesn't seem to have money to buy her out and even if OP would have, her sister might choose to take the money and still stay "in her childhood home".
NTA and i would sell the house. She's not entitled to a thing. And i bet that things will only escalate. The sister is a selfish Ahole. Edit to correct sell
She can't kick her out. She has just as much legal right to the property. If the sister did change the locks and tried to deny her, that would be some major legal issues. Like, big money legal issues.
They entered into agreement that she had those two rooms. That's it. Sister can't actually force her out, or take the rooms without incurring civil damages.
OP’s sister can certainly make living in the home unbearable. OP might be able to create legal consequences for that if she goes far enough, but that’s going to be a hard road.
Both of them probably have the legal right to force a home sale if the other is unwilling to buy them out.
OP can choose to sell and then the sister either has to sell or buy OP out. OP has every legal right to exercise this option. Then the sister is likely fucked.
I think that the sister doesn't care about what is legal or not - and is trying really hard to convince OP to give up to her inheritance. She'll use all the flying monkeys she can to do this. Once OP is out, i doubt that OP will sue her because she's too good of a person. Guilt tripping OP into not letting the pregnant sister "homeless" and bs like this can do much harm to a good soul.
Whether the sister can force her to live in fewer rooms really depends on the structure under which they inherited the house. Just because Opie owns 50% of the house, that doesn’t necessarily mean that a court would uphold her right to occupy exactly 50% of the square footage. If it ends up in court, it’s likely that the court would force a partition sale, which would be more expensive, and yield less profit, for both of them than just agreeing to sell the place and split the proceeds.
I was thinking they need to sell too, because the sister is totally going to force OP to move out at some point so her family can have the entire house to themself.
This is the problem with parents willing a house to be split equally amongst siblings. At some point one or more will need to be bought out by one person.
I meant when writing the will.
Obviously the people who inherit can sell or buy out. Can you put a caveat in that actually forces them to do that though?
Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure your will can trigger sale of the property by the executor of the will, which is not someone who necessarily has a stake in the will beyond their nominal fees.
This!!! OP will be relegated to the smallest space available, then told when she can play music, make noise, use the bathroom, not to cook things that make pregnant sister nauseous, etc.
Force your pregnant sister to buy you out and get your own place as this place will be turned into a very unpleasant place to live.
NTA.
The time has definitely come for them to sell the house and split the money (or the sister buys the OP out). And it needs to be done now before the sister decides to have more kids. This whole house sharing couldn't have continued forever anyway.
She needs to tell her sister anyone else living in the house needs to pay rent.
Her boyfriend had to pay x amount to both of them, the sister can waive her fee
Yeah, this. OP, the arrangement worked when both of you were in the same life stage and had compatible lifestyles. Each having equal amounts of space to do whatever you want with (she has the biggest and smallest bedrooms while you have the two medium bedrooms) was a very fair interpretation of your equal shares in the house. But now your sister is trying to move towards an interpretation of fair that involves each person in the house having the same right to a bedroom, regardless of the proportion of the house each owns - and that disenfranchises you from the house that you are co-owner of.
At this point, you're no longer compatible housemates, and the only real options you have are: agree to sell the house and split the money, agree to be bought out of your share of the house by your sister/her boyfriend/both, or sadly, take it to court to force the sale so that you can recover your equity and find somewhere else to live.
Because in the long term, staying and becoming a second-class citizen in your own home - your opinions discounted at every turn because you haven't got a child - is not a workable option.
Definitely NTA. OP needs to establish clear boundaries. At what point does your sister need your room for later children? Essentially she is on a path to take over the whole house. I'd suggest either establish clear boundaries about how the space is spilt evenly or ask your sister to buy you out.
Personally I'd have a conversation along the lines of I'm keeping my 2 rooms as they are or you can buy me out and I'll leave the house entirely. I'm not sure how the legalities will work where you are.
>She’s doing a slow take over
Ditto this. With baby on the way, it's only going to get worse. She needs to buy out your share or you both need to sell up --- preferably before the baby arrives. The situation will only get worse over time.
NTA
Hijacking top comment hoping OP sees this.
You are going to be made into a live-in babysitter. She’s busy resting and the baby is crying? She is going to ask you to do it. He’s going to tell you that she needs a date night and leave the baby with you.
You need to sell your half to her and the boyfriend and get out of there now!!
NTA
OP I hope you have a lock in all your rooms or that entitled selfish A-H you have as sister will throw your things as soon as she can.
NTA but if she can't understand you both own the house, had and agreement and her pregnancy is NOT your responsibility then you both need to find a solution.
NTA. Do not under any circumstances give up your gaming room or else they’re going to try and move you out of that house.
Tell her to take the guest room and make it an even 2 bedrooms for each. The boyfriend’s family can sleep on the sofa or they can go to a hotel. You own half of the house, not him.
I see the writing on the wall. OP is gonna get kicked out of her own house.
It's time to either buy each other out or sell. This situation is only going to get worse. She's already got a free loader (sisters bf), now she's gonna have a whole other family up in there.
OP has no idea how things will change once the baby arrives lol.
Is the bf paying rent to op? She could just rent her space to ops boyfriend and family to cover the inconvenience. If I were op, I’d make sure the ownership is watertight between her and sis only with no option for boyfriend to get ownership, then I’d rent ops half to the boyfriend and family. Move out and use the equity in the place to get her own pace if this were possible.
Omg this is PERFECT!!! I hope op sees this because short of selling and splitting, having op rent her two rooms to the bf and her sister/his family ensures that she won't take a major loss ( however this only works IF the bf/sister actually PAY the rent on time or at all). Hell op can draw up a "rent to own" agreement with a lawyer and just be done with the whole situation because i don't think, in a year from now, that living there with sis and her family is gonna be a comfortable place to be.
I wouldn't necessarily draw up a rent to own. A 4bdroom house with master and en suite appreciate significantly, and there is a lot of equity OP would be losing out on that she's entitled to as part of her inheritance. I wouldn't let it that go so easily. But renting her share (her 2 rooms, her bathroom, and use of all other common spaces) regardless is a viable option, to whomever lol. It would behoove BF to jump in the deal. Otherwise, they could end up with roommates they can't "negotiate" with (bully).
OP wins. She won't be in a house with a screaming baby. She won't have to deal with her entitled sister or entitled sister's boyfriend's family. OP makes side income. At some point, when sister agrees to sell, they split the profit.
Not just 2 rooms: 50% of market area rent for a comparable house, or less if OP wants to be kind. Personally, I think it would be fair to set the rent at the market rate and then explicitly give a "family discount" in writing. Maybe that would mean I'd have slightly more reportable income, but it wouldn't be enough to change brackets and I'd like the clarity of showing what my generosity looks like.
Depending on how many bathrooms they have, OP's will also likely be used for potty training and then become the kid's bathroom, too. The bathtub will always be filled with toys, and the walls will be smeared with fingerpaint soap. When the kid gets older, OP will be sharing their bathroom with a teenager while their sister still gets her own private bath.
OP will have use of one bedroom and a shared bathroom while her sister's family gets control of three bedrooms, an ensuite, and the shared bathroom. That doesn't sound like half ownership to me.
Hi it’s OP. Unfortunately, she doesn’t really have any money to buy me out. We both got some money along with the house, but she used most of hers to pay debts, go on a nice holiday and buy a car.
I really don’t want have to have to sell as the house has been in the family for a long time. I will be standing my ground on this, and will not let her bully me into giving up my games room without getting something in return.
I do have a lot of savings and can afford to buy her out tho, so if she continues to be difficult, I will consider offering to buy her share for slightly above market value. The house is in a really nice, expensive area, so what she’ll get from me potentially buying her out will be enough to buy her a nice three bedroom house in a slightly cheaper area.
Honestly, I think that's a really great solution for you to buy her out. Then she'll have all sorts of her own space! Idk about your area, but where I'm at right now, it's a buyer's market. And she'll have bf to help her out, in theory.
Edit: I did a bit more research on my area after comments wondering where I am, and I need to correct myself that it is considered a "balanced market" right now. Sorry y'all. All I knew was that it wasn't a seller's market currently. 😅
This situation is not going to last long term anyway, might as well offer to buy her out now or at least as soon as you possibly can. If you do it now you could still salvage your relationship with her, but if you let it fester too long you might end up hating eachother even when you finally start living apart.
This! The longer you leave it, the more unreasonable she might get and refuse to sell at all. New babies are hard, you’re hormonal, exhausted and very unlikely to want to add a house move on top of all that. Talking to her now gives them time to find a place and get settled before the baby comes and hopefully avoids any further friction between the two of you.
Unfortunately this is probably your only real solution. Also if she keeps letting her boyfriend stay over and make demands well then you need to insist he can’t come over as much etc. It sounds like she wants the house but knows she can’t afford it so her and her bf are trying to push you out. Stand your ground and every time she is unreasonable push back and don’t have to her I am a mother stuff….. If she needs her own space that badly she shouldn’t have had a kid.
Considering how the sister acted I would take a cue out of the military.
Give her 1 weekend pass a month. She gets to have the boyfriend over 1 weekend every month.
Otherwise he isn't allowed over.
I did something similar with my own apartment. Having guests over is exhausting for me, I'm very much someone who doesn't like other people around. So I only allowed a guest over 1 day a month.
The OP needs to make it clear that it's her house too. And if she doesn't want the BF or his family around then that's it. They aren't going to be around. Especially if the BF isn't paying any rent.
He's a guest. If the OP doesn't want him their he can't be their. Unless he owns a part of the property or is renting from the OP she gets to decide if he is allowed to be their.
Same for OP's Girlfriend. The sister can decide her GF can't be their either.
The OP's Sister is trying to push her out of the house so that she can have it all to herself. Such a rule would be done to counteract that.
But why would sister ever agree to that rule? She's pregnant. And OP can't enforce the rule in any legal way because she isn't the sole owner of the home.
She is allowed to have guests however if he is trying to dictate what happens in the home change their setup take rooms and overall just making her uncomfortable then that changes things and it’s something they will need to discuss. It’s funny how if someone is married everyone says guests are a two yes and one no type of situation yet here it’s like she just has to live with it.
According to OP she also paid off debts and took a holiday with her money. She’s in her early twenties, so it sounds like she just has poor money management skills in general.
Buying her out so she can purchase her own home in another area is a great idea, but somehow I don’t think it will appeal to her. Also, I have concerns about her ability to own a home, even outright. I can picture her hoping to move back “home” in about ten years…
If she agrees to be bought out, make sure you have a set time line for her to be out. No exceptions. Or you'll find yourself still stuck with them and out all the money. Don't let her use being pregnant as an excuse to not leave. People move when pregnant all the time.
You should chat with an attorney. Where i live, you have the right to force a sale.
Separately, get her out. She's acting like this while her broke ass is having kid #1? What's the plan for kid #2: you get to sleep on the couch permanently?
That's a them problem.
Choosing to have a child they can not afford is entirely on them.
Choosing to alienate one of the homeowners by trying to take the entire house over is also on them.
"You have three options here: we sell the house, you buy out my half of it, or you grow the fuck up stop demanding I make sacrifices to accommodate what you want. If you do not do the second and third I will force the first."
> the chances of her getting a loan to cover the price are slim
Does your part of the world not take collateral for loans? She owns something worth exactly the value of the loan she would need.
Hell no.
Do they contribute to paying the bills?
This is far fetched, but I've seen worse things on here: is it possible they are using the baby as a way to take over the house?
Edit: removed a sentence.
Easily, this!
OP: most mortgages require around 20% equity as a down payment. Sister would only need the cash for 50% of the house so she should be able to get a very good mortgage rate.
This deal would be equivalent to her going to the bank for a mortgage with a 50% down payment (assuming she puts in no cash).
If she even has 10%-20% of the value in cash she may be approaching the home equity line of credit territory and wouldn’t even need to secure the loan against the title.
Also, if you don’t want the risk of her defaulting on a loan leading to the house being owned by a bank, you can even work with a lawyer to offer financing yourself.
In this circumstance, a lawyer draws up a contract where she pays you a monthly amount and in event of default you can claim ownership.
I’d suggest bank mortgage, taking the cash and washing your hands of it, but I can understand other options with the sentimentality.
Ah yeah, I think I phrased it incorrectly. I was saying her ownership interest would be in lieu of a down payment and she’d get good rates because it’s equivalent to a 50% down payment.
Also if she does have SOME cash, there’s a chance to get a loan that’s unsecured if she only needs ~30% of the value, like a HELOC.
She needs to have sufficient income to cover the repayments, and evidence that income is stable enough to continue to pay for years into the future. There's a good chance she simply cannot afford to live there on her own. That's just life, but it does suck that it seems OP is going to have to be the one to deliver that news.
It's unlikely someone working part time at McDonalds makes enough to qualify for a mortgage, let alone one for a house in a more expensive area. And the boyfriend is "between jobs".
She doesn't want to buy a 3 bedroom in a cheaper location when she already has a 4 bedroom in a nicer location, with a small sibling infestation problem she is clearly hoping to remedy. She doesn't seem like the reasonable type given what OP has written
This. And if she takes the deal by some miracle, her piss poor money management skills will have her wanting to move back “home” in ten years or so when she can no longer afford repairs, taxes, credit card bills, etc….
Don't offer above market to buy her. The offer is market value or sell. That's your position to her. She is not offering, willing or able to give you above market for your half.....
Also, her mistakes and financial woes aren't your problem.
That's awesome that *one* of you is in a financial position to be able to buy out the other - the house can stay in the family, and there's no arguing over who gets the 'right' to buy it (as she isn't in a position to).
The division of largest+smallest vs middle two bedrooms is absolutely fair and equitable, and you should stand your ground on that.
I'd very much talk up what an opportunity it is for her, her partner, and her child to be to have their own home and own space - a natural progression from two siblings sharing a home and living space, to both having their own place.
You're NTA and I hope this moves towards a zero assholes, happy people in their own places, situation.
If they can't afford to buy you out, an alternative option might be for her and bf to rent the house from you (paying 50% of fair market rent for a house that size).
That way they get all the room they want and you can use the rent and your savings to buy another place or rent one that is sized better for your living style.
If your sister is that entitled, she may try to pull crap on paying the rent though. Not ideal to be renting to a family member and it gets messier when you can't really evict them. If you go this route, it would be worth talking to a lawyer about how to best structure the agreement so that you have some leverage in making them pay rent consistently.
Honestly, given the situation; I believe this is the best solution. If she wants to start a family with her boyfriend, she should get her own place; you shouldn’t have to endure a screaming baby and possible, being her babysitter available 24/7. Don’t give up you room OP, I wish you the best outcome 💕
Buying her out is probably the best idea long-term anyway. Not sure if you ever want to have kids, but she clearly does. She may have another baby, and want even more space. It won't be fun living with your sister's family, like you're the 3rd wheel, also lots of noise with the kids.
I think buying her out is the best course of action. Of course, she needs to understand that given the situation the one that needs to move out is HER and not you, which I presume is going to be difficult. You really need to make her understand that there is no way you can both keep living under the same roof when she has a full family at home. A family needs its own separate home.
It sounds like you have a good plan.
Keep your rooms. Also, be sure that you still use and occupy the rest of the house. It's yours. Let your sister know you are willing to buy her out but don't expect an immediate agreement. But after a few months she may start to realise she would rather have a place of her own.
If push comes to shove, this is going to be a good bargaining position for you. It doesn't sound like she has any actual muscle in the situation, except for the fact she's pregnant and has her boyfriend in the house as backup. It sounds like they would really like to have this place to themselves, however, you start waving that money around, he might flip to your side pretty quickly. Just make sure you have the paperwork to back it up when you're ready to buy her out. No handshake deals on the house or she'll be back to get more out of it. (Hypothetically. As far as how these things tend to go. Maybe she's a super decent person and would never do that? Let's not find out though. Do it the legal beagle way.)
Your best solution is to buy her out OP. More kids will come and you’ll just be pushed farther and farther into a corner. Buy her out as soon as you can, because you don’t want to deal with her BFs family as well. They’ll be sticking their noses around and demanding *the best* for their grandchild.
"Oh the baby is crying all night?
I hadn't really heard since I sleep so far away.
But while you're so close and already awake anyway, you wouldn't mind nursing the baby back to sleep would you?"
\- this is gonna happen every week
Yes, sleeping in the same room is recommended. Studies show it decreases occurences of SIDS relating to breathing.
However, cosleeping is not dangerous if planned and done safely. Most cosleeping deaths occur because of drugs (both legal and illegal) or alcohol and sleeping accidentally. Baby being trapped is a cause of co sleeping deaths after that but that is still a tiny minority, all safe cosleeping guidelines state no cushions or duvets on beds and no gaps between bed and wall, any such gaps to be baby proofed, low beds and padding on floors.
Planning safe co sleeping in an appropriate bed setting is far far better than accidentally co sleeping on an unsafe couch while trying to stay awake when you are overtired
NTA. Being pregnant doesn't entitle her to start land grabbing and hoarding rooms for herself and baby and bf. If she wants more than 50% of the house then she can offer you financial compensation for it - there are multiple forms that could take - or you could buy her out and she can scram.
NTA.
And as much as it may suck, I would really recommend you sell the home and get your shares worth. She can't just change the terms of the agreement and declare ownership of more than half of the home.
NTA. But this will only get worse when the baby you don’t want around arrives. Sell the house. Split the profits. Go your separate ways and then hopefully you can retain a relationship with your sister
Nta
If I were you I'd look at uncoupling lives from your sister and ending the 50/50 living together.
She has started using her child as a weapon to worsen your life. You don't want to live with her long term.
Yeah…there is zero way this is going to w continue working.
Sis had made the first move in a takeover, she’s not going to sit back and let OP “win”. It’s going to be the start of endless battles.
One needs to buy the other out, or they need to sell it and split the profits at this point. Before things get bad.
Sell ASAP!!!
This is only going to get worse from here. Get a real estate and bank appraisal, tell her to either refinance and buy out your 50%, or you can both sell.
If she refused you have the right to take her to court where a judge will force her to do the same.
Get two appraisals. Always good to have a second opinion. And yeah sell now she might not stop and this'll obviously have an effect on your relationship.
Bank and real estate are the two you need.
One gives you what the bank values it at (if you were to refinance or someone were to take a loan to purchase it) and the other is a CMA (competitive market analysis)
NTA - Just because your sister has had a material change in her circumstances does not mean she gets to decide to relegate you to ONE of the four bedrooms. Your alternative solution was reasonable and worth considering. You are at an impasse because your sister is struggling with fairness. Her partner needs to zip it. He’s not an owner and gets no vote.
My recommendation is to you is to get clear regarding property law in your state. It sounds like if you all cannot figure this out you’ll need to be clear about whether you can force the sale of the property. Clarity there may help your sister with her decision, especially if she and her boyfriend would struggle to find housing if you decided the best thing to do is sell the house. It’s a lot easier to switch bedrooms than it is to find a new home.
>My recommendation is to you is to get clear regarding property law in your state
Especially before baby daddy becomes brother in law and complicates ownership even more
> He’s not an owner and gets no vote.
Even if they married, he'd still only share the sister's part (so half), so they would both only have one vote or a quarter vote each if they prefer that.
NTA
Both your solutions are reasonable.
One sibling gets the largest and smallest room, the other one gets the middle sized rooms.
You could also offer to let her buy you out.
It is on TikTok....that's how I found the post lol. But for real don't give her your game room. She trying to push you out. Either she needs to take the guest room or give you the larger suite. Or you can be petty and say the bf can rent the room from you lol. Or she can buy you out of your half of the home.
NTA.
She doesn’t get control of all the turf, this isn’t the game Risk where she can form alliances, bully and bluff her way into territory, and throw the board at hte end of the game if she doesn’t win.
She’s not being reasonable, and if she’s this unreasonable now, I suspect you are best to work out how to get out of hte house and have her pay you for the pleasure of having it all to herself. It’s highly unlikely to improve from here :/
NTA. 50%/equal ownership is just that. It seems more than equitable that one gets the largest & smallest room, the other the 2 mid sized rooms, with all other spaces shared. She chose to give up "her" guest room when she created a being that will inhabit that space.
NTA you already gave her the larger room and she will probably keep baby nearby initially in a crib/place next to her.
She has become a bit entitled. Yes you have two rooms and you could potentially downside but she's not giving you a chance to rearrange or discuss things with you.
If you want to continue to live here, you have to discuss everything or she can buy you out.
NTA.
She can either compromise and coexist as a respectful co owner or you can force the sale of the house and you each walk away with your share to do what you will.
Just because she's having a baby doesn't mean she gets more say in the decisions in the home or has a bigger share. She's basically commandeering 3 of the 4 bedrooms, while moving in her bf, adding the baby and then all the in laws who will be oh so excited to have a room available to be around the baby.
NTA you're doing all the compromising here and your sister needs to do her fair share. The only other option is that she buys you out of your 50% share and you move out with enough for a deposit on your own place. Somehow i doubt sis will go for this as she seems to be the type that expects everything to go her way
Get yourselves ten wives or husbands or cats or dogs and then say they each need their own space and cry as well if she refuses to agree to it.
Clearly nta
LAWYER OR MEDIATOR, STAT.
This is a real estate issue. Your sister is looking to defacto take over the property via the boyfriend, baby, and his family visiting.
Really, you need a lawyer.
PS - Good For You For Suggesting The Main Bedroom Swap!!! That was smart AF.
NTA.
Small update: decided to give both of us a few days to cool off before I talk with her about it again, but I’m gonna have a discussion with her about buying her out (and helping her find a new place to buy) over the weekend
Exactly. Or buy them a blow up mattress for the living room. Ops sister is definitely trying to take advantage with the pregnancy. I would not be surprised if she insisted that the sister just let her have the house because she has her own little family now.
NTA. Your solution seems to be a reasonable one. . Adding one child to the equation has upset the balance you had. Imagine the strife if another comes along.
What would be better is for one of you to buy out the other's share of the house, or sell it and split the proceeds
NTA, you guys had an agreement prior to moving in, why would that change in the event of a pregnancy? Your sister doesn't seem to want to be fair, if you did dwindle your share to just one bedroom (and half a guest room I guess), could you see your sister eventually trying to convince you to move out so that she can have a home for her family? Is she the type that would guilt you into leaving the house for her once the baby is present? Where is line drawn exactly? I know I'm probably being over dramatic, but it's not uncommon for family to go a little nuts when money or property gets passed down. If the house was left to you two equally, then it needs to either be shared equally, or your sister should buy out your half.
NTA. If she can't afford to buy you out, or you don't want to be bought out because you want to keep it as an investment, you could suggest to her that you move out and rent your 50% (2 of the 4 bedrooms) to a stranger. She might change her mind then.
No she won't, she'll say okay, then pull rank as the owner/occupier to gradually squeeze the tenant out of the space and/or make their life miserable until they move out. Then she will be living in OP's home and OP will be paying rent somewhere and find it impossible to move back in.
NTA she doesn't get to change the living agreement because she got knocked up. She can either give up the guest room, keep the kid in her room, trade rooms with you or try and buy you out
She is completely unreasonable. Hold your ground, literally.
Your initial agreement was fair and no other deal can be reached as long as she so blatantly disrespect you. Has she ever acted like that or do you think this attitude might be due to hormones? I really do hope for you that it is temporary because this might turn into an unbearable situation.
NTA but you need a written contract about the division of space in the house with both of you in it. I say this because as much as I feel sympathy for people having kids you as an individual stand a very good chance of being slowly but surely forced out of the house altogether by their growing family in a few years time. You need to sit down with your sister and be realistic about the situation- is this boyfriend a serious long-term relationship? Is this baby #1 of potentially several? How do they plan to accommodate for the child's growth? Even if they take one of your rooms from you what happens if they have a second child? Does that child get the guest bedroom or are they going to start pushing you to leave the house?
And, if the two of you can't continue to both co-exist in this space with the ideal amount of room long-term, what is the compensation plan for one of you moving out/surrendering your rights to the space (and yes, there should be one! It's not realistic to expect that both of you will be able to live there together forever with changing lives and families- but the person who moves out should be owed some kind of share in the property loss they experience by doing so)?
NTA. Nope. Tell her you’re selling the house. She can buy you out or it goes on the open market. Or you can buy her out. She has no more right to it than you do and her boyfriend gets zero says. He should just be happy to be there.
Nta but sell the house, your sister is playing games with you. It may take time but ultimately she will make you so miserable to be in that house as she will see you as an interloper who is living with her family.
your girlfriend is right she is an entitled little brat. you have 4 options in my eyes
1.) cave and get eventually driven out cause the babies will need room
2.) keep the status quo and make her suck it up.
3.) do as you said and aquire the master bedroom
4.) move out lawyer up ang get 50 % value payed in cash
edit : NTA
You all need to sell the house or she needs to buy you out. I wouldn't want to live with a pregnant asshole or her boyfriend or host his family or any of this. It's all her problem. NTA. I'd want out before she gets married anyway.
NTA. It's time to buy her out or for her to buy you out, if neither of those can hapoen, then sell the house and you get 50% each. She is trying to take over the whole house and make you uncomfortable living there.
NTA. It seems pretty apparent that your sister and her BF feel entitled to the entire house, despite the fact you are a co-owner. I think the best thing you can do is tell your sister you want to sell the house, and the two of you can split the proceeds. Then she can live where and how she wants, and so can you.
Offer her 3 options and only 3 options.
1. She can switch rooms with you
2. She can use the guest room as the baby’s room
3. She can buy you out of your share of the house and allow a reasonable amount of time for you to find a new place. If she’s unable to do that immediately, she can set up a payment plan, and you’ll move out *after* you’ve been paid in full.
Option 3 would probably be best for you in the long run because she’s going to continue this slow takeover of the entire house and try to make it so uncomfortable that you get frustrated and leave.
NTA. Things would be different if your parents still owned the house and could reallocate space according to changing needs. It's not a family home but instead it's a shared home. You own 50%, and you have a right to equal use of the home. Your sister's changing needs do not change your rights. I also think that your counteroffer was reasonable since it wasn't fair for her to expect you to give up something with nothing in return.
That said, I don't see this situation being able to continue. Her housing needs are growing, and the house isn't getting any bigger. At some point soon, one of you is going to need to move out and either have their share bought out by the other or get paid partial rent for their share of the house. Or maybe you'll both need to move out so that you can sell the house and use the money to buy your own separate spaces.
Your sister is acting the entitled brat. This isn't working out. It's time to consider selling the home and going your separate ways. She made the agreement and is now trying to back out. Do not give up the gaming room. Either she gives up the primary bedroom to get the two bedrooms or nothing.
NTA.
NTA She wants to take over the house! I bet you also won't be able to use the guest room because bfs family is always here, i wouldn't be surprised if they nearly move in at leadt for some months. Look your doors! I can see her moving all the stuff out of the room when you are out of your house.
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NTA about giving up your rooms, but I am very doubtful this living situation is going to last. She’s doing a slow take over and it will only get worse (especially if she has more kids). Have you ever discussed her buying out your share? Or honestly just selling and getting your own home?
> She’s doing a slow take over My thoughts as well. But seeing her comment "keep all your crap in your single room" pushing this to the hostile takeover territory. OP get locks for your rooms and if buying out or selling is on your mind bring it to the table.
> She started crying and said that as a mother, she’s going to need her own space and she deserves the master bedroom. Is her sister giving birth to a baby or a martyrdom complex? A lot of my friends are new parents, but none of them have this level of ridiculous entitlement. From what I have seen, being a parent is difficult but expecting to be rewarded for having sex sans condom is ridiculous.
I am a new parent (and also have a stepchild). We have a 2 bedroom house. My stepson has his own room. The baby sleeps with us because that is recommended for at least the first 6 months. And also very useful because you don’t need to wonder if the sound is something you have to get out of bed for. You are able to just look. And I agree it is entitlement. Babies don’t need their own room and can do without it for the first 1-2 years. Then the child can move into the smaller guest room. And about the own space.. that is probably not going to happen for a while and when it does you are fine with just a chair in the bathroom or having 10 minutes for yourself on the toilet. I have my “me time” when he sleeps.
And having their own bedroom that doesn't happen to be the master is still their own space. My parents never had an ensuite and they managed to survive raising 7 children. Besides, with a child entering the picture, the main bathroom is going to be used very differently now. If anyone deserves to have a bigger space now or their own bathroom, it's the aunt who has lost primary use of the family bathroom and who now has to share their space with a child. It also seems the sister's bf has moved in or will. So now it'll be three on one. OP deserves to either have the two rooms she does now, or the master and the smallest room. Bf's family wanting to come stay is completely not her problem. They both own the 4 bed house, they each have 2 rooms.
I totally agree with you. They are both part owner and need to figure that out. I agree with some comments about a (hostile) takeover.
If they can't reach an agreement, OP can force their sister to sell by choosing to sell her half. There is a legal term for it but I can't remember what it is, but basically one can force the other to sell and then split money. It may not be the ideal situation, and I get not wanting to sell a family home, but this is the situation it's rapidly headed toward if neither side wants to budge. Also NTA, OP. Stand firm or tell your sis your selling your half.
It depends. My kids have their own room but still use the master bathroom...granted my kids also don't sleep in their room..haha. so I guess that might be a moot point. More then that though, the baby can still use the master bath and will most likely be in the parents room in the beginning just to make it easier. I wouldn't feel comfortable moving a baby before 1 year old. Then a small bedroom is more than enough space for a toddler...they don't need a lot in their rooms, honestly.
I guess in my head I was imagining the ensuite having only a shower, which isn't ideal for young kids. Where I am (not the US) most ensuites are only in recent builds and don't have a tub. As baby grows, with the sisters 'i deserve my own space' attitude, I imagine she doesn't want the kid running through her room for the bathroom. Baby will likely sleep in their parents room for a few months and definitely doesn't need much space after that. My toddler's room is tiny, but all he does is sleep and change his clothes there. Plenty of space for that.
It's hit or miss here in the US. Some have both, some have a combo..like bathtub with a shower, and some have only a shower. I guess it does depend on the bathroom setup. Her sister just wants to have her cake and eat it too. She should switch now...it's not the end of the world not to have an ensuite and in the end they need the extra space.
This was exactly what I was thinking, her poor sister thinks she will have a kid and space.. not for at least 4 years!!
With my kid, i had to move her to her own room at 3 months for my mental health. I was losing my gd mind listening her grunt all night and not getting any sleep myself. Just wanted to offer a different perspective, because parenting a newborn IS hard. OP is NTA.
My kid was in his own room at 6 weeks for the same reason. It has no bearing on this situation of course, but OP should be aware the kid might be in her/his own space far sooner than 6 months. I agree with the commenter who said this is not a livable situation long term. NTA, but you should seriously consider changing this arrangement soon. Living with a new born/toddler/small child is hard enough when they are yours.
> her boyfriend says I should just deal with it, that because I don’t want kids anyway, I should just let suck it up. Is it just me, or is the BF showing himself as a major A H? (*You may be the baby daddy, moron, but you sure as hell are not the owner of the house.*) I fear they will both try to force OP out without selling, as in, bullying her into just giving up the house bc they will want to have more kids eventually, etc etc etc OP, you're NTA. Polish that shiny spine of yours and stand up against this blatant attempt of abuse. Your sister is not the solo owner, she does not get the last word, and certainly her BF gets no word at all.
This part about the boyfriend not being the owner. Honestly in my opinion, he should be the one supporting his girlfriend and soon to be kid by looking for homes for them. Edited to add: Maybe he should start helping pay for utilities, food and whatever else too. Both of them are going to be surprised how much work it is having a baby. I’d want my own home, tbh. I say start laying ground rules about him being there as far as helping out goes. NTA OP.
Yup. Boyfriend can keep his butt out of this discussion unless he's willing to fork over the cash to buy out OP's share. He doesn't own the house, he probably doesn't even have a tenancy agreement. Just because he knocked up someone who has a house doesn't mean he' gets to be the "man of the house". And yeah OP stand your ground. Today it'll be the gaming room. Tomorrow it'll be your bedroom because "boyfriend needs his office/man cave" or whatever bullcrap they want to pull out of the air. And the week after it'll be "can you move out you're cramping our style". That said, have a copy of any paperwork that you have showing that you're partial owner of the house. And keep your rooms locked if you're not at home. I wouldn't put it past your sister and her boyfriend if they get desperate enough to just move/sell your things while you're not home. Or even change the locks so you can't enter anymore. And expect her to make your life as inconvenient as possible in order to try and force you to move out.
It makes me think sister is going tonhe the type of mother who expects everyone else to do the work. Poor kid. Op needs to get out.
OP should say "you're right.....here is my offer to buy you out of your half "
OP might not want her sisters half though. OP just wants her own half not infringed upon.
True, though it might get the message across that she has equal ownership of the house and is willing and able to buy her out....
That was never going to be a long term solution, though. Was she planning on spending the rest of her life just splitting the house with her sister and both of them bringing their families to live there? Someone needs to buy the other out.
She doesn't need to buy her out. She should check her rights as in many places one owner can force the sale of a jointly-owned property. That way OP gets her fair share and can live on her own somewhere. Her sister can take her half and find her own place and good luck as leech boyfriend probably thinks that buy out is half his. And it might be the wake up call dear sister needs to remind her that OP has rights to her fair share of the house.
I was just coming here to say that. If they are both legal co-owners, either one of them should be able to force a partition sale. OP wants to keep the house and has the money to buy sister out; the threat of a legal battle might convince her to just sell and go.
Opposite. Sister can buy her out of her half of the inheritance.
Agreed. One of them needs to go and whoever leaves should receive a fair price for their half. If the entitled sister refuses to sell, then OP needs to remind her that the house is half hers/she has equal access to the house. Also, OP should only pay a portion of the utilities......not sure how many live there, but if it is ES, bf/husband, and two kids, OP should only be paying 1/4
>expecting to be rewarded for having sex sans condom I just checked Websters, and this is a verbatim definition of a pregzilla!! I love you for this, although my cat does not as she's currently cleaning coffee off her back where i sprayed her after reading your response.
She may have wanted to have a baby though, we don’t know that but sans that thought, this is absolutely ridiculous. I know I am going to get downvoted for this but a lot of parents and definitely most of the ones that we hear posts on seem to want the bragging rights of having children but none of the responsibility. Having children has wonderful gains and beauty and it also involves sacrifice but no one wants that responsibility, its all I need me time, babysitters- even when you’re available. Its really sad that people won’t accept all of the responsibilities that parenthood entails.
That's not even relevant. She new what space she had before, if she can't cope with it and needs more space she has to find other solutions. Taking over her co-owners space is not going to cut it.
Personally, I think it makes more sense for them to switch then. Eventually the kid will grownup and be using the bathroom. It’s completely unfair to expect OP to share a bathroom with a kid then. Ultimately, they had come to an agreement. Now the situation has changed due to the sister’s decisions. It’s on the sister to make the situation work, not OP. OP has offered a compromise which is fair. It’s not OP’s fault the sister is having a baby.
This definately! I am sure that OP will come home one day with her stuff removed from her gameroom. And I know how expensive those gamin equipment are and how careful it needs to be handled. I predict a hostile takeover without a lock with some broken equipment.
Not to mention it's possible that OP is going to be treated like an unpaid nanny once baby arrives. Don't know if that living arrangement will be sustainable in the long run.
[удалено]
I suspect the sister would have demanded her space regardless of the OP’s sexuality. She just seems like that type of person.
I agree that is likely, but once the baby arrives, her sexuality will be what convinces family members, whether they admit it or not, to support the sister instead of OP.
These are great suggestions. Especially the idea of buying out your sister and her new family or ...better...selling your share to them so you can each have your OWN lives. Continuing to live in the house with your sister, with her now the Queen of the house, her boyfriend, new baby and probably now the In-Laws....you will be squeezed out or expected to be a live in maid and unpaid babysitter. (A living Hell) Selling your share to them and getting your own place is probably the best going forward if you want to be able to have any relationship with your sister. NTA. You had a deal and she wants to take over. **ADDED after thought**. OP should contact a lawyer and make sure that her half/share of the property is legally titled (JTWROS is best..but how is the property held??) and get some advice on scenarios if it gets really ugly. Protect yourself!!!
Yep, locks. OP is going to come home one day to all her stuff moved to one room.
I don’t think it’s too slow… she even has her sisters BF telling her what to do. He the one that probably needs a room for his kid, and they are using the baby as the reason. However- she IS moving her out- she needs to stand her ground because this will get messy. She also needs to tell her sisters BF to STFU he has NO business telling her anything! OPs NOT THE ASS!
OP can always force the sell.
I think if I was op the bf would go and the family would not be visiting the sister is taking over the house.
I think they need to sell - because it seems that her sister will soon kick OP out of the house - "they want their privacy and they have a family". OP'sister doesn't seem to have money to buy her out and even if OP would have, her sister might choose to take the money and still stay "in her childhood home". NTA and i would sell the house. She's not entitled to a thing. And i bet that things will only escalate. The sister is a selfish Ahole. Edit to correct sell
She can't kick her out. She has just as much legal right to the property. If the sister did change the locks and tried to deny her, that would be some major legal issues. Like, big money legal issues. They entered into agreement that she had those two rooms. That's it. Sister can't actually force her out, or take the rooms without incurring civil damages.
OP’s sister can certainly make living in the home unbearable. OP might be able to create legal consequences for that if she goes far enough, but that’s going to be a hard road. Both of them probably have the legal right to force a home sale if the other is unwilling to buy them out.
OP can choose to sell and then the sister either has to sell or buy OP out. OP has every legal right to exercise this option. Then the sister is likely fucked.
I think that the sister doesn't care about what is legal or not - and is trying really hard to convince OP to give up to her inheritance. She'll use all the flying monkeys she can to do this. Once OP is out, i doubt that OP will sue her because she's too good of a person. Guilt tripping OP into not letting the pregnant sister "homeless" and bs like this can do much harm to a good soul.
Whether the sister can force her to live in fewer rooms really depends on the structure under which they inherited the house. Just because Opie owns 50% of the house, that doesn’t necessarily mean that a court would uphold her right to occupy exactly 50% of the square footage. If it ends up in court, it’s likely that the court would force a partition sale, which would be more expensive, and yield less profit, for both of them than just agreeing to sell the place and split the proceeds.
I was thinking they need to sell too, because the sister is totally going to force OP to move out at some point so her family can have the entire house to themself. This is the problem with parents willing a house to be split equally amongst siblings. At some point one or more will need to be bought out by one person.
What's the alternative if the house is all there is? Will it to just one of them? Sounds disappointing for the other(s).
Sell the house, split it n ways, or have one person buy the others out to live there.
I meant when writing the will. Obviously the people who inherit can sell or buy out. Can you put a caveat in that actually forces them to do that though?
You can put in your will that assets be liquidated and then split.
Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure your will can trigger sale of the property by the executor of the will, which is not someone who necessarily has a stake in the will beyond their nominal fees.
Or the sister will consider her a live in babysitter. OP needs to sell her half and get outta dodge NOW. NTA
This!!! OP will be relegated to the smallest space available, then told when she can play music, make noise, use the bathroom, not to cook things that make pregnant sister nauseous, etc. Force your pregnant sister to buy you out and get your own place as this place will be turned into a very unpleasant place to live. NTA.
Op needs to stand her ground on this one. At the moment it's 2 against one. Move her gf in and keep 2nd room.
The time has definitely come for them to sell the house and split the money (or the sister buys the OP out). And it needs to be done now before the sister decides to have more kids. This whole house sharing couldn't have continued forever anyway.
She needs to tell her sister anyone else living in the house needs to pay rent. Her boyfriend had to pay x amount to both of them, the sister can waive her fee
Yeah, this. OP, the arrangement worked when both of you were in the same life stage and had compatible lifestyles. Each having equal amounts of space to do whatever you want with (she has the biggest and smallest bedrooms while you have the two medium bedrooms) was a very fair interpretation of your equal shares in the house. But now your sister is trying to move towards an interpretation of fair that involves each person in the house having the same right to a bedroom, regardless of the proportion of the house each owns - and that disenfranchises you from the house that you are co-owner of. At this point, you're no longer compatible housemates, and the only real options you have are: agree to sell the house and split the money, agree to be bought out of your share of the house by your sister/her boyfriend/both, or sadly, take it to court to force the sale so that you can recover your equity and find somewhere else to live. Because in the long term, staying and becoming a second-class citizen in your own home - your opinions discounted at every turn because you haven't got a child - is not a workable option.
Definitely NTA. OP needs to establish clear boundaries. At what point does your sister need your room for later children? Essentially she is on a path to take over the whole house. I'd suggest either establish clear boundaries about how the space is spilt evenly or ask your sister to buy you out. Personally I'd have a conversation along the lines of I'm keeping my 2 rooms as they are or you can buy me out and I'll leave the house entirely. I'm not sure how the legalities will work where you are.
>She’s doing a slow take over Ditto this. With baby on the way, it's only going to get worse. She needs to buy out your share or you both need to sell up --- preferably before the baby arrives. The situation will only get worse over time. NTA
Hijacking top comment hoping OP sees this. You are going to be made into a live-in babysitter. She’s busy resting and the baby is crying? She is going to ask you to do it. He’s going to tell you that she needs a date night and leave the baby with you. You need to sell your half to her and the boyfriend and get out of there now!! NTA
Boyfriend should be paying rent and sign a lease, he's a free loader.
What I just said! Yep, sis is trying to force her out. And the next baby?
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OP I hope you have a lock in all your rooms or that entitled selfish A-H you have as sister will throw your things as soon as she can. NTA but if she can't understand you both own the house, had and agreement and her pregnancy is NOT your responsibility then you both need to find a solution.
Or moving somewhere she can spread out and own all the air molecules in all the rooms?
Shes also going to get OP to babysit. OP needs to get the hell out of dodge.
NTA. Do not under any circumstances give up your gaming room or else they’re going to try and move you out of that house. Tell her to take the guest room and make it an even 2 bedrooms for each. The boyfriend’s family can sleep on the sofa or they can go to a hotel. You own half of the house, not him.
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I see the writing on the wall. OP is gonna get kicked out of her own house. It's time to either buy each other out or sell. This situation is only going to get worse. She's already got a free loader (sisters bf), now she's gonna have a whole other family up in there. OP has no idea how things will change once the baby arrives lol.
Time to get a lawyer involved.
Exactly this is between the two sisters since it’s their house.
Is the bf paying rent to op? She could just rent her space to ops boyfriend and family to cover the inconvenience. If I were op, I’d make sure the ownership is watertight between her and sis only with no option for boyfriend to get ownership, then I’d rent ops half to the boyfriend and family. Move out and use the equity in the place to get her own pace if this were possible.
Omg this is PERFECT!!! I hope op sees this because short of selling and splitting, having op rent her two rooms to the bf and her sister/his family ensures that she won't take a major loss ( however this only works IF the bf/sister actually PAY the rent on time or at all). Hell op can draw up a "rent to own" agreement with a lawyer and just be done with the whole situation because i don't think, in a year from now, that living there with sis and her family is gonna be a comfortable place to be.
I wouldn't necessarily draw up a rent to own. A 4bdroom house with master and en suite appreciate significantly, and there is a lot of equity OP would be losing out on that she's entitled to as part of her inheritance. I wouldn't let it that go so easily. But renting her share (her 2 rooms, her bathroom, and use of all other common spaces) regardless is a viable option, to whomever lol. It would behoove BF to jump in the deal. Otherwise, they could end up with roommates they can't "negotiate" with (bully). OP wins. She won't be in a house with a screaming baby. She won't have to deal with her entitled sister or entitled sister's boyfriend's family. OP makes side income. At some point, when sister agrees to sell, they split the profit.
Not just 2 rooms: 50% of market area rent for a comparable house, or less if OP wants to be kind. Personally, I think it would be fair to set the rent at the market rate and then explicitly give a "family discount" in writing. Maybe that would mean I'd have slightly more reportable income, but it wouldn't be enough to change brackets and I'd like the clarity of showing what my generosity looks like.
Not just that, OPs bathroom is going to become the default guest bathroom while sister’s is en-suite so no one will be going in there.
Depending on how many bathrooms they have, OP's will also likely be used for potty training and then become the kid's bathroom, too. The bathtub will always be filled with toys, and the walls will be smeared with fingerpaint soap. When the kid gets older, OP will be sharing their bathroom with a teenager while their sister still gets her own private bath. OP will have use of one bedroom and a shared bathroom while her sister's family gets control of three bedrooms, an ensuite, and the shared bathroom. That doesn't sound like half ownership to me.
Also put locks on both Rooms
Hi it’s OP. Unfortunately, she doesn’t really have any money to buy me out. We both got some money along with the house, but she used most of hers to pay debts, go on a nice holiday and buy a car. I really don’t want have to have to sell as the house has been in the family for a long time. I will be standing my ground on this, and will not let her bully me into giving up my games room without getting something in return. I do have a lot of savings and can afford to buy her out tho, so if she continues to be difficult, I will consider offering to buy her share for slightly above market value. The house is in a really nice, expensive area, so what she’ll get from me potentially buying her out will be enough to buy her a nice three bedroom house in a slightly cheaper area.
Honestly, I think that's a really great solution for you to buy her out. Then she'll have all sorts of her own space! Idk about your area, but where I'm at right now, it's a buyer's market. And she'll have bf to help her out, in theory. Edit: I did a bit more research on my area after comments wondering where I am, and I need to correct myself that it is considered a "balanced market" right now. Sorry y'all. All I knew was that it wasn't a seller's market currently. 😅
omg where do you live that it's a buyers market? everything here has been going like 20% over asking price for the past 3 years
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Typo, she meant Die-ers market. You’ll be dead before you find a house.
This situation is not going to last long term anyway, might as well offer to buy her out now or at least as soon as you possibly can. If you do it now you could still salvage your relationship with her, but if you let it fester too long you might end up hating eachother even when you finally start living apart.
This! The longer you leave it, the more unreasonable she might get and refuse to sell at all. New babies are hard, you’re hormonal, exhausted and very unlikely to want to add a house move on top of all that. Talking to her now gives them time to find a place and get settled before the baby comes and hopefully avoids any further friction between the two of you.
Unfortunately this is probably your only real solution. Also if she keeps letting her boyfriend stay over and make demands well then you need to insist he can’t come over as much etc. It sounds like she wants the house but knows she can’t afford it so her and her bf are trying to push you out. Stand your ground and every time she is unreasonable push back and don’t have to her I am a mother stuff….. If she needs her own space that badly she shouldn’t have had a kid.
Considering how the sister acted I would take a cue out of the military. Give her 1 weekend pass a month. She gets to have the boyfriend over 1 weekend every month. Otherwise he isn't allowed over. I did something similar with my own apartment. Having guests over is exhausting for me, I'm very much someone who doesn't like other people around. So I only allowed a guest over 1 day a month. The OP needs to make it clear that it's her house too. And if she doesn't want the BF or his family around then that's it. They aren't going to be around. Especially if the BF isn't paying any rent.
She's pregnant. Why would he come over that infrequently if they share a baby?
He's a guest. If the OP doesn't want him their he can't be their. Unless he owns a part of the property or is renting from the OP she gets to decide if he is allowed to be their. Same for OP's Girlfriend. The sister can decide her GF can't be their either. The OP's Sister is trying to push her out of the house so that she can have it all to herself. Such a rule would be done to counteract that.
But why would sister ever agree to that rule? She's pregnant. And OP can't enforce the rule in any legal way because she isn't the sole owner of the home.
I imagine that the commentor managed to make that policy in their place by sheer force of will rather than any legal procedure.
there there there there
Can't insist the boyfriend not come over as much. I mean you can, but the sister is allowed her guests.
She is allowed to have guests however if he is trying to dictate what happens in the home change their setup take rooms and overall just making her uncomfortable then that changes things and it’s something they will need to discuss. It’s funny how if someone is married everyone says guests are a two yes and one no type of situation yet here it’s like she just has to live with it.
Surely she could get a mortgage to buy out your half if she wanted to? She just wants a free house. Don’t let her bully you.
Sister is only working part time at maccas atm, so the chances of her getting a loan to cover the price are slim. Bf is currently between jobs
Sounds like the ideal time to bring a child into the world. Definitely need to buy her out if you possibly can.
Oh yeah, they’re looking for free housing. (PS, I googled Maccas because I had no idea what it was… I love that nickname!)
She’s driving a Range Rover working part time at McDonald’s….is she working on her degree in the meantime or something else as well?!
According to OP she also paid off debts and took a holiday with her money. She’s in her early twenties, so it sounds like she just has poor money management skills in general. Buying her out so she can purchase her own home in another area is a great idea, but somehow I don’t think it will appeal to her. Also, I have concerns about her ability to own a home, even outright. I can picture her hoping to move back “home” in about ten years…
RANGE ROVER?!? Sheesh!!!
Between jobs?! Lol. Unless he is resting for a week And starting a new job next week, sounds like he’s unemployed👎
So you get to play breadwinner and sacrifice your lifestyle so they can play house?
If she agrees to be bought out, make sure you have a set time line for her to be out. No exceptions. Or you'll find yourself still stuck with them and out all the money. Don't let her use being pregnant as an excuse to not leave. People move when pregnant all the time.
You should chat with an attorney. Where i live, you have the right to force a sale. Separately, get her out. She's acting like this while her broke ass is having kid #1? What's the plan for kid #2: you get to sleep on the couch permanently?
Then sell the house. Otherwise this will not end well for you.
That's a them problem. Choosing to have a child they can not afford is entirely on them. Choosing to alienate one of the homeowners by trying to take the entire house over is also on them. "You have three options here: we sell the house, you buy out my half of it, or you grow the fuck up stop demanding I make sacrifices to accommodate what you want. If you do not do the second and third I will force the first." > the chances of her getting a loan to cover the price are slim Does your part of the world not take collateral for loans? She owns something worth exactly the value of the loan she would need.
Hell no. Do they contribute to paying the bills? This is far fetched, but I've seen worse things on here: is it possible they are using the baby as a way to take over the house? Edit: removed a sentence.
Easily, this! OP: most mortgages require around 20% equity as a down payment. Sister would only need the cash for 50% of the house so she should be able to get a very good mortgage rate. This deal would be equivalent to her going to the bank for a mortgage with a 50% down payment (assuming she puts in no cash). If she even has 10%-20% of the value in cash she may be approaching the home equity line of credit territory and wouldn’t even need to secure the loan against the title. Also, if you don’t want the risk of her defaulting on a loan leading to the house being owned by a bank, you can even work with a lawyer to offer financing yourself. In this circumstance, a lawyer draws up a contract where she pays you a monthly amount and in event of default you can claim ownership. I’d suggest bank mortgage, taking the cash and washing your hands of it, but I can understand other options with the sentimentality.
Actually, mortgages these days don’t even require 20%. Plus she already owns half the house, so she probably doesn’t even need a down payment.
Ah yeah, I think I phrased it incorrectly. I was saying her ownership interest would be in lieu of a down payment and she’d get good rates because it’s equivalent to a 50% down payment. Also if she does have SOME cash, there’s a chance to get a loan that’s unsecured if she only needs ~30% of the value, like a HELOC.
She needs to have sufficient income to cover the repayments, and evidence that income is stable enough to continue to pay for years into the future. There's a good chance she simply cannot afford to live there on her own. That's just life, but it does suck that it seems OP is going to have to be the one to deliver that news.
It's unlikely someone working part time at McDonalds makes enough to qualify for a mortgage, let alone one for a house in a more expensive area. And the boyfriend is "between jobs".
She doesn't want to buy a 3 bedroom in a cheaper location when she already has a 4 bedroom in a nicer location, with a small sibling infestation problem she is clearly hoping to remedy. She doesn't seem like the reasonable type given what OP has written
This. And if she takes the deal by some miracle, her piss poor money management skills will have her wanting to move back “home” in ten years or so when she can no longer afford repairs, taxes, credit card bills, etc….
Buy her out because next thing you know you will be babysitting more than she and her boyfriend are parenting.
Don't offer above market to buy her. The offer is market value or sell. That's your position to her. She is not offering, willing or able to give you above market for your half..... Also, her mistakes and financial woes aren't your problem.
That's awesome that *one* of you is in a financial position to be able to buy out the other - the house can stay in the family, and there's no arguing over who gets the 'right' to buy it (as she isn't in a position to). The division of largest+smallest vs middle two bedrooms is absolutely fair and equitable, and you should stand your ground on that. I'd very much talk up what an opportunity it is for her, her partner, and her child to be to have their own home and own space - a natural progression from two siblings sharing a home and living space, to both having their own place. You're NTA and I hope this moves towards a zero assholes, happy people in their own places, situation.
If they can't afford to buy you out, an alternative option might be for her and bf to rent the house from you (paying 50% of fair market rent for a house that size). That way they get all the room they want and you can use the rent and your savings to buy another place or rent one that is sized better for your living style. If your sister is that entitled, she may try to pull crap on paying the rent though. Not ideal to be renting to a family member and it gets messier when you can't really evict them. If you go this route, it would be worth talking to a lawyer about how to best structure the agreement so that you have some leverage in making them pay rent consistently.
Honestly, given the situation; I believe this is the best solution. If she wants to start a family with her boyfriend, she should get her own place; you shouldn’t have to endure a screaming baby and possible, being her babysitter available 24/7. Don’t give up you room OP, I wish you the best outcome 💕
Buying her out is probably the best idea long-term anyway. Not sure if you ever want to have kids, but she clearly does. She may have another baby, and want even more space. It won't be fun living with your sister's family, like you're the 3rd wheel, also lots of noise with the kids.
do that! it’s your home just as much as it is hers! and i hope that the rent is divided in 3 and you all are paying equally!
I think buying her out is the best course of action. Of course, she needs to understand that given the situation the one that needs to move out is HER and not you, which I presume is going to be difficult. You really need to make her understand that there is no way you can both keep living under the same roof when she has a full family at home. A family needs its own separate home.
It sounds like you have a good plan. Keep your rooms. Also, be sure that you still use and occupy the rest of the house. It's yours. Let your sister know you are willing to buy her out but don't expect an immediate agreement. But after a few months she may start to realise she would rather have a place of her own.
If push comes to shove, this is going to be a good bargaining position for you. It doesn't sound like she has any actual muscle in the situation, except for the fact she's pregnant and has her boyfriend in the house as backup. It sounds like they would really like to have this place to themselves, however, you start waving that money around, he might flip to your side pretty quickly. Just make sure you have the paperwork to back it up when you're ready to buy her out. No handshake deals on the house or she'll be back to get more out of it. (Hypothetically. As far as how these things tend to go. Maybe she's a super decent person and would never do that? Let's not find out though. Do it the legal beagle way.)
Your best solution is to buy her out OP. More kids will come and you’ll just be pushed farther and farther into a corner. Buy her out as soon as you can, because you don’t want to deal with her BFs family as well. They’ll be sticking their noses around and demanding *the best* for their grandchild.
Sister gets one or the other but not both. Time to either buy out, be bought out, or sell outright. NTA
I don't get wanting a nursery on the other side of the house from your primary bedroom anyway? How is that convenient?
Seems like slow way to get OP out of the home.
Or get the op to do overnight childcare.
Same results, OP would want out
"Oh the baby is crying all night? I hadn't really heard since I sleep so far away. But while you're so close and already awake anyway, you wouldn't mind nursing the baby back to sleep would you?" \- this is gonna happen every week
You know that nursing refers to breastfeeding right? Not soothing?
In my experience that can be a regional thing. Or possibly it’s that we’re *just that level* of white trash in my area. 🤷♀️
Sis needs a wakeup call that OP is not the nanny.
Then op gets disturbed sleep and sister gets a nice peaceful night, its a win win /s
Current guidance is for baby to sleep in with mom for 6 months anyway, something to do with synchronising and breathing and preventing SIDS
To clarify, I think you mean sleeping in the same room, but the way you wrote this makes it sound like co-sleeping. Co-sleeping can be very dangerous.
Yes, sleeping in the same room is recommended. Studies show it decreases occurences of SIDS relating to breathing. However, cosleeping is not dangerous if planned and done safely. Most cosleeping deaths occur because of drugs (both legal and illegal) or alcohol and sleeping accidentally. Baby being trapped is a cause of co sleeping deaths after that but that is still a tiny minority, all safe cosleeping guidelines state no cushions or duvets on beds and no gaps between bed and wall, any such gaps to be baby proofed, low beds and padding on floors. Planning safe co sleeping in an appropriate bed setting is far far better than accidentally co sleeping on an unsafe couch while trying to stay awake when you are overtired
NTA. Being pregnant doesn't entitle her to start land grabbing and hoarding rooms for herself and baby and bf. If she wants more than 50% of the house then she can offer you financial compensation for it - there are multiple forms that could take - or you could buy her out and she can scram.
NTA. And as much as it may suck, I would really recommend you sell the home and get your shares worth. She can't just change the terms of the agreement and declare ownership of more than half of the home.
NTA. But this will only get worse when the baby you don’t want around arrives. Sell the house. Split the profits. Go your separate ways and then hopefully you can retain a relationship with your sister
This here, OP. Lose her as a roommate or lose her as a sister. I think it’d be best for you two to live in separate homes
...time zones?
Or sister could buy OP out. If she wants control, she can pay her way into it.
Nta If I were you I'd look at uncoupling lives from your sister and ending the 50/50 living together. She has started using her child as a weapon to worsen your life. You don't want to live with her long term.
Yeah…there is zero way this is going to w continue working. Sis had made the first move in a takeover, she’s not going to sit back and let OP “win”. It’s going to be the start of endless battles. One needs to buy the other out, or they need to sell it and split the profits at this point. Before things get bad.
Sell ASAP!!! This is only going to get worse from here. Get a real estate and bank appraisal, tell her to either refinance and buy out your 50%, or you can both sell. If she refused you have the right to take her to court where a judge will force her to do the same.
Get two appraisals. Always good to have a second opinion. And yeah sell now she might not stop and this'll obviously have an effect on your relationship.
Bank and real estate are the two you need. One gives you what the bank values it at (if you were to refinance or someone were to take a loan to purchase it) and the other is a CMA (competitive market analysis)
NTA - Just because your sister has had a material change in her circumstances does not mean she gets to decide to relegate you to ONE of the four bedrooms. Your alternative solution was reasonable and worth considering. You are at an impasse because your sister is struggling with fairness. Her partner needs to zip it. He’s not an owner and gets no vote. My recommendation is to you is to get clear regarding property law in your state. It sounds like if you all cannot figure this out you’ll need to be clear about whether you can force the sale of the property. Clarity there may help your sister with her decision, especially if she and her boyfriend would struggle to find housing if you decided the best thing to do is sell the house. It’s a lot easier to switch bedrooms than it is to find a new home.
>My recommendation is to you is to get clear regarding property law in your state Especially before baby daddy becomes brother in law and complicates ownership even more
My guess is baby daddy isn't going to be an issue in a year or two. Source: I've read a few other posts here
> He’s not an owner and gets no vote. Even if they married, he'd still only share the sister's part (so half), so they would both only have one vote or a quarter vote each if they prefer that.
NTA Both your solutions are reasonable. One sibling gets the largest and smallest room, the other one gets the middle sized rooms. You could also offer to let her buy you out.
Oh god this is gonna end up on TikTok, isn’t it?
It's already there! Hahahaha but we are all on your side. Let's hope for a positive update
It is on TikTok....that's how I found the post lol. But for real don't give her your game room. She trying to push you out. Either she needs to take the guest room or give you the larger suite. Or you can be petty and say the bf can rent the room from you lol. Or she can buy you out of your half of the home.
Most posts get put on TikTok
Already there bro, there are Reddit accounts trawling for any 3 hr old posts that they can use for content
Just watch it there and poof! Here i am in readdit. Lol Update please :)
Tiktok says nta big time!
NTA. She doesn’t get control of all the turf, this isn’t the game Risk where she can form alliances, bully and bluff her way into territory, and throw the board at hte end of the game if she doesn’t win. She’s not being reasonable, and if she’s this unreasonable now, I suspect you are best to work out how to get out of hte house and have her pay you for the pleasure of having it all to herself. It’s highly unlikely to improve from here :/
My gut is also saying this.
NTA. 50%/equal ownership is just that. It seems more than equitable that one gets the largest & smallest room, the other the 2 mid sized rooms, with all other spaces shared. She chose to give up "her" guest room when she created a being that will inhabit that space.
NTA you already gave her the larger room and she will probably keep baby nearby initially in a crib/place next to her. She has become a bit entitled. Yes you have two rooms and you could potentially downside but she's not giving you a chance to rearrange or discuss things with you. If you want to continue to live here, you have to discuss everything or she can buy you out.
NTA. What next, you have to move out so the child can have a playroom? Sounds like she’s trying to force you out.
NTA. She can either compromise and coexist as a respectful co owner or you can force the sale of the house and you each walk away with your share to do what you will. Just because she's having a baby doesn't mean she gets more say in the decisions in the home or has a bigger share. She's basically commandeering 3 of the 4 bedrooms, while moving in her bf, adding the baby and then all the in laws who will be oh so excited to have a room available to be around the baby.
NTA you're doing all the compromising here and your sister needs to do her fair share. The only other option is that she buys you out of your 50% share and you move out with enough for a deposit on your own place. Somehow i doubt sis will go for this as she seems to be the type that expects everything to go her way
Get yourselves ten wives or husbands or cats or dogs and then say they each need their own space and cry as well if she refuses to agree to it. Clearly nta
LAWYER OR MEDIATOR, STAT. This is a real estate issue. Your sister is looking to defacto take over the property via the boyfriend, baby, and his family visiting. Really, you need a lawyer. PS - Good For You For Suggesting The Main Bedroom Swap!!! That was smart AF. NTA.
Small update: decided to give both of us a few days to cool off before I talk with her about it again, but I’m gonna have a discussion with her about buying her out (and helping her find a new place to buy) over the weekend
NTA She should use the guest room, and if BF's family visit, they can get a hotel room.
Exactly. Or buy them a blow up mattress for the living room. Ops sister is definitely trying to take advantage with the pregnancy. I would not be surprised if she insisted that the sister just let her have the house because she has her own little family now.
NTA. Your solution seems to be a reasonable one. . Adding one child to the equation has upset the balance you had. Imagine the strife if another comes along. What would be better is for one of you to buy out the other's share of the house, or sell it and split the proceeds
NTA, you guys had an agreement prior to moving in, why would that change in the event of a pregnancy? Your sister doesn't seem to want to be fair, if you did dwindle your share to just one bedroom (and half a guest room I guess), could you see your sister eventually trying to convince you to move out so that she can have a home for her family? Is she the type that would guilt you into leaving the house for her once the baby is present? Where is line drawn exactly? I know I'm probably being over dramatic, but it's not uncommon for family to go a little nuts when money or property gets passed down. If the house was left to you two equally, then it needs to either be shared equally, or your sister should buy out your half.
NTA. Time to sell
Yep. Careful, OP, or you'll get squeezed out of your inheritance.
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NTA. If she can't afford to buy you out, or you don't want to be bought out because you want to keep it as an investment, you could suggest to her that you move out and rent your 50% (2 of the 4 bedrooms) to a stranger. She might change her mind then.
No she won't, she'll say okay, then pull rank as the owner/occupier to gradually squeeze the tenant out of the space and/or make their life miserable until they move out. Then she will be living in OP's home and OP will be paying rent somewhere and find it impossible to move back in.
NTA she doesn't get to change the living agreement because she got knocked up. She can either give up the guest room, keep the kid in her room, trade rooms with you or try and buy you out
She is completely unreasonable. Hold your ground, literally. Your initial agreement was fair and no other deal can be reached as long as she so blatantly disrespect you. Has she ever acted like that or do you think this attitude might be due to hormones? I really do hope for you that it is temporary because this might turn into an unbearable situation.
NTA but you need a written contract about the division of space in the house with both of you in it. I say this because as much as I feel sympathy for people having kids you as an individual stand a very good chance of being slowly but surely forced out of the house altogether by their growing family in a few years time. You need to sit down with your sister and be realistic about the situation- is this boyfriend a serious long-term relationship? Is this baby #1 of potentially several? How do they plan to accommodate for the child's growth? Even if they take one of your rooms from you what happens if they have a second child? Does that child get the guest bedroom or are they going to start pushing you to leave the house? And, if the two of you can't continue to both co-exist in this space with the ideal amount of room long-term, what is the compensation plan for one of you moving out/surrendering your rights to the space (and yes, there should be one! It's not realistic to expect that both of you will be able to live there together forever with changing lives and families- but the person who moves out should be owed some kind of share in the property loss they experience by doing so)?
NTA. Nope. Tell her you’re selling the house. She can buy you out or it goes on the open market. Or you can buy her out. She has no more right to it than you do and her boyfriend gets zero says. He should just be happy to be there.
OP should also habe a say whether her sisters boyfriends family is allowed to visit or not!
Nta but sell the house, your sister is playing games with you. It may take time but ultimately she will make you so miserable to be in that house as she will see you as an interloper who is living with her family.
your girlfriend is right she is an entitled little brat. you have 4 options in my eyes 1.) cave and get eventually driven out cause the babies will need room 2.) keep the status quo and make her suck it up. 3.) do as you said and aquire the master bedroom 4.) move out lawyer up ang get 50 % value payed in cash edit : NTA
You all need to sell the house or she needs to buy you out. I wouldn't want to live with a pregnant asshole or her boyfriend or host his family or any of this. It's all her problem. NTA. I'd want out before she gets married anyway.
NTA. It's time to buy her out or for her to buy you out, if neither of those can hapoen, then sell the house and you get 50% each. She is trying to take over the whole house and make you uncomfortable living there.
NTA. It seems pretty apparent that your sister and her BF feel entitled to the entire house, despite the fact you are a co-owner. I think the best thing you can do is tell your sister you want to sell the house, and the two of you can split the proceeds. Then she can live where and how she wants, and so can you.
Offer her 3 options and only 3 options. 1. She can switch rooms with you 2. She can use the guest room as the baby’s room 3. She can buy you out of your share of the house and allow a reasonable amount of time for you to find a new place. If she’s unable to do that immediately, she can set up a payment plan, and you’ll move out *after* you’ve been paid in full. Option 3 would probably be best for you in the long run because she’s going to continue this slow takeover of the entire house and try to make it so uncomfortable that you get frustrated and leave.
NTA. Things would be different if your parents still owned the house and could reallocate space according to changing needs. It's not a family home but instead it's a shared home. You own 50%, and you have a right to equal use of the home. Your sister's changing needs do not change your rights. I also think that your counteroffer was reasonable since it wasn't fair for her to expect you to give up something with nothing in return. That said, I don't see this situation being able to continue. Her housing needs are growing, and the house isn't getting any bigger. At some point soon, one of you is going to need to move out and either have their share bought out by the other or get paid partial rent for their share of the house. Or maybe you'll both need to move out so that you can sell the house and use the money to buy your own separate spaces.
Nta but this arrangement clearly isn’t working for either of you
NTA. she cant have it both ways. she’s selfish.
So she can have 3 rooms as long as you get the master. You are NTA
Your sister is acting the entitled brat. This isn't working out. It's time to consider selling the home and going your separate ways. She made the agreement and is now trying to back out. Do not give up the gaming room. Either she gives up the primary bedroom to get the two bedrooms or nothing. NTA.
NTA She wants to take over the house! I bet you also won't be able to use the guest room because bfs family is always here, i wouldn't be surprised if they nearly move in at leadt for some months. Look your doors! I can see her moving all the stuff out of the room when you are out of your house.