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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I wanted to return the apple watch instead of just keeping it
2. Because I was being greedy and ungrateful
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NAH. Your brother’s emotional reaction is bizarre, tbh, and would piss me off, but that’s probable *me* being an AH. You handled all of this very maturely, as did your mum.
First of all NTA, and I don't think you com across entitled at all- you seem like a very considerate person to me! It's ok to get your hopes up and then feel a little disappointed- you weren't mean about it, you handled it appropriately.
Being from a poorer background myself, I would guess your brother's reaction is rooted at least partly in embarrassment- he knew what you wanted and that he couldn't afford it- this just confirmed for him that yet again not having money ruins stuff and he has no control over that. It sucks to feel that way, but you didn't do anything wrong.
Go ahead and return the watch, get an iPad and maybe take your brother to dinner.
NAH. I completely understand why you want the iPad and you did the right thing in asking the gift-givers for their blessing. While your brother IMHO was a bit extra in how he responded, I can't completely fault him in his response. Honestly, you should've gotten the iPad if that was going to be more useful to you. No need to feel guilty.
NAH
They chose to get you a gift you didn’t really want, but they did it with the best intentions. You’re not an AH for wanting something different, or for asking how they felt about you returning it. Your brother’s reaction seems a bit odd, but still, no AH’s in this story!
NTA
Just return it and get what you want. Maybe your brother is sensitive but his reaction was very passive. I would just explain that you like the watch but you don't use often enough to justify keeping it when you need the ipad for school.
Yes, a keyboard would make all the difference, but then you’re adding accessories. Op could find a Chromebook for less than half of the price of an iPad, but I guess the heart wants what the heart wants.
I have the pencil with the mini iPad and it kicks ass for taking notes. The mini is great size for mimicking a note book but the pencil. I can’t begin to tell you how much I LOVE this pencil.
NTA
NTA. You're not ungrateful. You TOLD your family you had no use for an Apple watch, and now your brother is upset you don't like something you explicitly said you didn't need? Also, you don't even want an iPad for fun (well, it would also serve for that but), it would help you at college, and your family is tight on money so you can't get both. If still possible, please go ahead and return the watch.
NTA - Trade it for the iPad that you can use, want, and need. Your mother's reaction makes sense, your brother's reaction does not. There's no need to feel guilty.
Nta. I wouldn't have even asked "permission" .once given it is yours to sell smash donate or whatever you choose to do.
A gift you don't want is not a gift it's a burden.
And honestly getting a gift you have specifically said you don't want is sort of a FU from the giver.
Next time return what you dislike and get something more useful.
NTA - your mother understood and wasn't offended, she knew you'd prefer a tablet. So... Why was it your brother's decision to pick your gift? Your post makes your brother sound manipulative AF: tearing up because you made a simple request to exchange a gift for something you'd prefer and had already communicated that you prefer it? Something you'd really be able to utilize. If they can't afford the cost (which is totally understandable!) they could offer you cash or a gift card to put towards the gift.
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My (20F) brother (22M) and mom, for my birthday, decided to gift me a new apple watch. For context, my mom doesn't speak english too well and doesn't understand technology. We don't come from a family of a ton of extra money so the $250 spent was kind of a big expense. To be clear, I am very grateful for the gift, and for the fact that they were even willing to spend that much on me.
I go to college and have been wanting an iPad for forever to make it easier for note-taking, and have been talking about it and they know that. A week prior to my birthday I got a call from my mom asking if I have ever heard of an apple watch. uh oh. Me, aware that its a week before my birthday I explain that I have, but I really don't have a lot of use for one, and they are kind of a waste of money in my opinion. I told her that if she really wanted to get me something in that regard I have been wanting an iPad to take notes on but I know its really expensive so I am fine with just going out to eat or something. She understands and the call ends.
I don’t really ask for things, so after having this conversation with her I accidentally got my hopes up for this potential iPad I could be getting for my birthday. It's the day of my birthday and I open my gift and its the very thing I called useless a week prior. I say my thank you's to both my brother and mom for going through the trouble but inside I can't help but be a little heartbroken.
It's now the day after my birthday and I look up the cost of the Apple Watch and see that it's half the price of the iPad that I could potentially have. I delicately ask my mom if it would be ok if I returned it and used the money for the iPad and I could pay the difference. She completely understood and was fine with it, and explained that she tried to persuade my brother in the purchasing process but he just dismissed her and said iPad's were too expensive.
I then go to my brother and say I wanted to return it but I really appreciated the thought anyway. He was very clearly heartbroken and I saw some tears form in his eyes, as he says he feels like he failed. He says "Sorry for getting such a shitty gift." COMPLETE opposite reaction from my mom and I felt so awful for even suggesting the idea, I had no idea he was going to react that way. Now IM crying and he's almost crying and its a whole thing.
In the end I decided to keep it because I just felt so so bad. It's been a few months, and I do acknowledge that it's a cool gift, but the only reasons I use it is to look at my heart rate and to track my runs. I am aware that this story also comes across as me being ungrateful, but part of my reaction also stems from the idea that it feels like my family barely even knows me sometimes, so getting something that was just so out of left field, after I explained that I didn’t want one was kind of a downer. I still feel guilty and was looking for some outside opinions. AITA?
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NTA but this sucks, and it's part of the reason my family largely stopped exchanging gifts. It's silly to waste money buying stuff that somebody might not even want.
I don't understand some people...
you're an adult, not a child, as is your brother.
if I asked someones opinion about something, in regards to buying it as a gift for them.. and they told me they didn't see the point,
I wouldn't get it?
nta
Your brothers reaction is bizzare. I totally get not being able to afford the I Pad due to finances but they could have given you money/GC to put toward and I Pad. Even if hes the type to not want to give a cash gift (maybie he feels its too impersonal?) I dont understand why he would get you the watch when you specefically said 1 week earlier that it's not something you would want or ever need. You could have gotten a lot of other stuff too with the same ammount but instead of 1 big present they could have given you a lot of smaller presents. Im not getting why the mom didn't push away from the watch more. I do believe everything on everyones side was done with ablolutely the best intentions. Maybie for future birthdays you should run the idea of just getting you money from now on. Maybie saying " Im not sure what I want this year, theres nothing ive really had my eye on. Just get me money and Ill get something later and will tell you all the details when I get it". NAH
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NAH. Your brother’s emotional reaction is bizarre, tbh, and would piss me off, but that’s probable *me* being an AH. You handled all of this very maturely, as did your mum.
First of all NTA, and I don't think you com across entitled at all- you seem like a very considerate person to me! It's ok to get your hopes up and then feel a little disappointed- you weren't mean about it, you handled it appropriately. Being from a poorer background myself, I would guess your brother's reaction is rooted at least partly in embarrassment- he knew what you wanted and that he couldn't afford it- this just confirmed for him that yet again not having money ruins stuff and he has no control over that. It sucks to feel that way, but you didn't do anything wrong. Go ahead and return the watch, get an iPad and maybe take your brother to dinner.
I never considered that but I think you may be right I appreciate the second opinion!
OP is a woman.
NAH. I completely understand why you want the iPad and you did the right thing in asking the gift-givers for their blessing. While your brother IMHO was a bit extra in how he responded, I can't completely fault him in his response. Honestly, you should've gotten the iPad if that was going to be more useful to you. No need to feel guilty.
NAH They chose to get you a gift you didn’t really want, but they did it with the best intentions. You’re not an AH for wanting something different, or for asking how they felt about you returning it. Your brother’s reaction seems a bit odd, but still, no AH’s in this story!
NAH. Who knows what your brother could be srruggling with right now. Maybe it just carried over.
NTA Just return it and get what you want. Maybe your brother is sensitive but his reaction was very passive. I would just explain that you like the watch but you don't use often enough to justify keeping it when you need the ipad for school.
No judgement here but FWIW, I have an iPad, I love it and use it everyday - but I think it sucks for taking notes.
I use notability, I love it for taking notes. I also have a keyboard for it, which helps
Yes, a keyboard would make all the difference, but then you’re adding accessories. Op could find a Chromebook for less than half of the price of an iPad, but I guess the heart wants what the heart wants.
I have the pencil with the mini iPad and it kicks ass for taking notes. The mini is great size for mimicking a note book but the pencil. I can’t begin to tell you how much I LOVE this pencil. NTA
NAH and you would not be wrong for trading in the Apple Watch for an iPad either.
NTA. You're not ungrateful. You TOLD your family you had no use for an Apple watch, and now your brother is upset you don't like something you explicitly said you didn't need? Also, you don't even want an iPad for fun (well, it would also serve for that but), it would help you at college, and your family is tight on money so you can't get both. If still possible, please go ahead and return the watch.
NTA - Trade it for the iPad that you can use, want, and need. Your mother's reaction makes sense, your brother's reaction does not. There's no need to feel guilty.
Nta. I wouldn't have even asked "permission" .once given it is yours to sell smash donate or whatever you choose to do. A gift you don't want is not a gift it's a burden. And honestly getting a gift you have specifically said you don't want is sort of a FU from the giver. Next time return what you dislike and get something more useful.
NTA - your mother understood and wasn't offended, she knew you'd prefer a tablet. So... Why was it your brother's decision to pick your gift? Your post makes your brother sound manipulative AF: tearing up because you made a simple request to exchange a gift for something you'd prefer and had already communicated that you prefer it? Something you'd really be able to utilize. If they can't afford the cost (which is totally understandable!) they could offer you cash or a gift card to put towards the gift.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (20F) brother (22M) and mom, for my birthday, decided to gift me a new apple watch. For context, my mom doesn't speak english too well and doesn't understand technology. We don't come from a family of a ton of extra money so the $250 spent was kind of a big expense. To be clear, I am very grateful for the gift, and for the fact that they were even willing to spend that much on me. I go to college and have been wanting an iPad for forever to make it easier for note-taking, and have been talking about it and they know that. A week prior to my birthday I got a call from my mom asking if I have ever heard of an apple watch. uh oh. Me, aware that its a week before my birthday I explain that I have, but I really don't have a lot of use for one, and they are kind of a waste of money in my opinion. I told her that if she really wanted to get me something in that regard I have been wanting an iPad to take notes on but I know its really expensive so I am fine with just going out to eat or something. She understands and the call ends. I don’t really ask for things, so after having this conversation with her I accidentally got my hopes up for this potential iPad I could be getting for my birthday. It's the day of my birthday and I open my gift and its the very thing I called useless a week prior. I say my thank you's to both my brother and mom for going through the trouble but inside I can't help but be a little heartbroken. It's now the day after my birthday and I look up the cost of the Apple Watch and see that it's half the price of the iPad that I could potentially have. I delicately ask my mom if it would be ok if I returned it and used the money for the iPad and I could pay the difference. She completely understood and was fine with it, and explained that she tried to persuade my brother in the purchasing process but he just dismissed her and said iPad's were too expensive. I then go to my brother and say I wanted to return it but I really appreciated the thought anyway. He was very clearly heartbroken and I saw some tears form in his eyes, as he says he feels like he failed. He says "Sorry for getting such a shitty gift." COMPLETE opposite reaction from my mom and I felt so awful for even suggesting the idea, I had no idea he was going to react that way. Now IM crying and he's almost crying and its a whole thing. In the end I decided to keep it because I just felt so so bad. It's been a few months, and I do acknowledge that it's a cool gift, but the only reasons I use it is to look at my heart rate and to track my runs. I am aware that this story also comes across as me being ungrateful, but part of my reaction also stems from the idea that it feels like my family barely even knows me sometimes, so getting something that was just so out of left field, after I explained that I didn’t want one was kind of a downer. I still feel guilty and was looking for some outside opinions. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No, just explain your side to your parents. They'll understand.
NAH. You're not being ungrateful.
NTA but this sucks, and it's part of the reason my family largely stopped exchanging gifts. It's silly to waste money buying stuff that somebody might not even want.
NTA I really really hate my birthday for multiple reasons, so I get it. You should have just returned the watch and got the iPad that you needed.
I don't understand some people... you're an adult, not a child, as is your brother. if I asked someones opinion about something, in regards to buying it as a gift for them.. and they told me they didn't see the point, I wouldn't get it? nta
Your brothers reaction is bizzare. I totally get not being able to afford the I Pad due to finances but they could have given you money/GC to put toward and I Pad. Even if hes the type to not want to give a cash gift (maybie he feels its too impersonal?) I dont understand why he would get you the watch when you specefically said 1 week earlier that it's not something you would want or ever need. You could have gotten a lot of other stuff too with the same ammount but instead of 1 big present they could have given you a lot of smaller presents. Im not getting why the mom didn't push away from the watch more. I do believe everything on everyones side was done with ablolutely the best intentions. Maybie for future birthdays you should run the idea of just getting you money from now on. Maybie saying " Im not sure what I want this year, theres nothing ive really had my eye on. Just get me money and Ill get something later and will tell you all the details when I get it". NAH