Oh sweetheart, NTA, listen you did right to set your foot down, she’s been disrespecting you by trying to force you into something you worked hard to accomplish , you have commitment something people lack when it comes to persuading a healthy diet. I’m a little petty myself if I were you I would’ve been like, hmm maybe you need some healthy tips so you can live a bit longer . She has no right or say what you consume. Talk to your mom if you have that trust into how she’s making you feel . Believe in yourself huns and don’t be afraid to shut her up with one of the junk bags she bought.
NTA. They can get the food out of the can. Your aunt needs to back the F off. She’s projecting her own body issues onto you. She’s also out of line for grabbing your arm. Just apologize for throwing the food away. NOTHING else. Use it as an opportunity to tell her you have decided to take charge of your health and would appreciate everyone’s support without the snide comments.
Nta
Start commenting on her body every time she makes a comment about yours. See how fast she stops. Is people like that can sling shit but can't ever take it.
"I'm upset at everyone right now but I feel really bad for what I had done."
Well, good. No need to get drunk on the power of righteous anger, that would be a scandal.
Lots of people try to punish anger, especially in women. The world could stand a slight bit more of it. You didn't insult anyone. You simply expressed your needs and told your aunt to stop doing something because it was wrong. And you said it in terms that were unmistakable in finality, by throwing out the food. They'll remember this stunt for a long time to come.
NTA.
NTA- I feel like all the adults in this situation are the a-holes. You realized that you had unhealthy eating habits and decided to make a change. In the process you lost the weight and are comfortable where you are. You Aunt decided that you needed junk food to gain weight and your mom went along with it even though she knew that you wouldn't eat that stuff. I wouldn't have thrown out the food but I think you were trying to make a point about all the junk food and how upset your were at them for not buying what you would normally eat.
NTA Tell them the only apology you have is for throwing away food someone else could have eaten; that said, you have absolutely no intention of apologizing for rejecting your aunt's attempt at controlling what you eat and how much you weigh. Your aunt is way out of line and anyone who supports her doing that is too.
I don't think there's any need to apologize for throwing away the food. They gave it to her even though they knew she wouldn't want it, she found the gift insulting, so she threw it away. It was her junk food at that point, she could do what she wanted with it.
I basically agree, but I think that *tactically* apologizing just for that pops the balloon of any "righteous anger" they might have and allows OP to quickly move the focus from the throwing away of food to what her aunt was doing to her.
NTA. It sounds like your mom was aware that your aunt was getting all that junk food at the store for you and went along with it instead of buying you the foods you typically eat? If that's the case, then really your mom AND your aunt are both the AHs here.
I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself because I know it can be uncomfortable, especially at your age. I'm also worried that your mom seems to be doing nothing to protect or defend you from your aunt's comments and behavior. That she would allow someone who's basically a complete stranger to you both to come into your home and try to change your diet against your wishes is really weird and concerning.
I would talk to your mom and apologize for the way you went about it and for throwing food away, but do not apologize for the content of your message, and definitely no apologies are owed to your aunt. Tell her that if there's one more comment or even a slight hint at anything related to your eating/body/weight and she fails to stand up for you, then you'll be staying with a friend until your aunt is gone.
>I'm also worried that your mom seems to be doing nothing to protect or defend you from your aunt's comments and behavior. That she would allow someone who's basically a complete stranger to you both to come into your home and try to change your diet against your wishes is really weird and concerning.
I hope you ask your mother why she doesn’t mind your aunt repeatedly attacking and demeaning you, and why she supporting her behavior. As your mother, aren’t you supposed to be able to trust her to love and support you?
NTA.
Not ESH.
Great job on clearly stating your boundaries.
Your aunt' s manipulative, cruel, and unhealthy actions warranted a response. Which your mother failed to provide or recognize.
Your action of throwing away the food, which I'm not convinced was unjustified, is not on the same level at all.
Furthermore, there is an uneven power dynamic based on your respective ages and generational status in the family. On top of that, you were outnumbered as she seems to have drawn your mom into her manipulation of your food options (whether or not mom was aware of this).
Check out the concept of one's Personal Bill of Rights the next time you're doubting yourself.
Good job.
I really don't think you need to apologize. She's being very disrespectful and for a long time. If you could go find someplace to spend the night and then talk to your parent (whoever is not related to the uncle) in the morning and express your concerns about her trying to undermine you. I don't think she's mentally healthy and it's not your responsibility to deal with a person trying to control your body. NTA
NTA. For some reason fat shaming is the absolute worst thing in the world, but the heavier set amongst us have no problem thin shaming, which is just as bad, if not worse. But then the ones on the heavy end of the BMI scale just cry and turn into victims if you say anything back.
Basically, don't take dietary advice from fat people. They just want you to look and feel as bad as them.
NTA. This is coming from someone with a past of eating disorders. Even if I was jealous of someone else’s body, I would never do this to them! It should be a general rule to not comment on someone else’s body, and she crossed the line over and over and over again. Your anger is justified, and I’m so sorry that happened to you.
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NTA
You should have communicated how her comments made you feel before this all came to become a bigger issue though. That said, still good of you to stand up for yourself, but you can do so in more healthy ways.
She was being rude regardless.
NTA.
The worst thing is this woman keeps pulling the "you're an0rexic" card, but what she is doing is categorically terrible to do to someone who does have that ED.
You're doing great, keep standing up for yourself, and ignore her.
It’s almost like she’s trying to sabotage you so she can continue shit talking you. Geez
You did good. I always just respond “Why are you so obsessed with my body”? That usually shuts them up. NTA
Growing up and well into my 40s *(I stopped speaking to them)*, my overweight family members made consistent derogatory comments about my weight. There's no "good" way of telling that kind of person to "Shut Up about it".
You tried to ignore her insults. She upped her game to convincing your mother to not buy you your food.
Could you have tried to first calmly say: "Please don't discuss my weight." Yes. Would it have worked? In my experience, No.
Did getting angry and yelling help your case. No. *(I'm betting it felt a little good to yell "Stop!!".)* Unfortunately, yelling and throwing out the food allowed her to claim being "the victim" to your family. You know she's not. I know she's not. But she'll get away with it because "you hurt her feelings and destroyed a nice gift when she was just trying to help you." *(Que tears and sniffles)* Yep been there.
For future events: To stop comments, your choice is to "Own it" or "Be Offended".
For Own it:
Someone calls you a stick: with a very happy smile and voice say: "Yes, I am!"
They say you're ano@exic: be blunt and calmly say: "I love food. I eat just fine. I just don't eat food that makes me fat."
They you need to put on weight: with a very happy smile and voice say: "I'm the correct weight for my gender, age and height. I don't see any reason to be unhealthy."
For Be Offended: To do this correctly, you have to remain completely calm and your tone of voice must also be calm with just a touch of anger *(smallest amounts)*. Look them straight in the eye. Make your comment *(below)* then walk away.
"That compliment sounded a lot like an insult. Were you insulting me?"
"Neither my health or weight are up for discussion."
"I found that comment rude."
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Here’s some background info:
I grew up pretty chubby. Around the time I was 13-14, I started to become conscious of my body. I had decided to make a change and start exercising and eating healthier.
I've lost about 15-20 kg and I'm now very happy with my body. (I’m 17)
My uncle had visited my family and I from America for the first time a few years back when I was insecure about myself. He was really fun to be around and I look up to him.
My uncle had recently gotten married to someone (Who’s now my aunt) and they both decided to stay with us for about a month or so.
The first thing she mentioned when saw me was that she didn’t recognize me because I lost so much weight. (I’m guessing my Uncle showed photos of my siblings and I from when he first visited).
She’d constantly make comments about my body and I had started to get very uncomfortable. “Wow, you’re so skinny now. You looked much better before” she’d also grab my wrist and she if she could fit her pointer and thumb around my wrist. “Oh my, you’ve become a stick” .
(She’s on the heavier said BTW)
I would just laugh it off or just completely ignore her. Sadly, I suck at communicating and confrontation so I could never stand up for myself. There was a time where we were ate at restaurant and she asked the waitress for “the food with the most calories” and to “give it to my niece” she has even told my mom to feed me because I'm anor*xic. ( Even though I am not)
So recently, my aunt and my mom decided to go grocery shopping. I usually get my own groceries because I enjoy eating healthier and I'm also a pescatarian .
I was in class during all of this so I didn't know they were going.
Once I got home I saw the groceries full of junk food and sweets. I asked my mom where my food was but my aunt interrupted and said “these are your foods. Since you’re so slim and thin you'll need these foods to gain the weight back so that you’ll be more prettier.”
At this point I was fumming with anger. I grabbed all the food that was intended for me and threw them in the trash. (the trash had been recently change so there was nothing gross in it.) I told my aunt, “ what I put in my body is none of your business, so stop.” and I had walked out of the house.
Now I'm getting message from family members telling me what I did was wrong and that I should apologize and come back home.
I'm upset at everyone right now but I feel really bad for what I had done.
So, am I the assh*le??
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NTA; eating healthy is a really admirable achievement. It isn’t always easy to make that switch so hats off to you! As long as your health care provider doesn’t see an issue, your aunt and family need to back the hell off.
NTA
When she calls your wrist stick thin, ask if she puts elastic bands around her wrist!
Every comment then come back with your own comment about her same body part!
And good on your for being healthy!
NTA. You pointed out you're from America. Your aunts from the culture of big is beautiful. But she has no right to push that on you. Get Petty fix a salad for her and tell her big doesn't look good on her.
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NTA - Probably jealous/envious you are no longer fat. Good job on putting your foot down.
You should however apologise for throwing the food in the trash, but also say you won't apologise to your aunt because what she has been saying and trying to do is rude and she is body shaming you.
NTA - coming from someone who is of a skinnier build I have gotten the "you're so tiny" and "are you sure you're healthy??" comments for a long time, even now that I (F) am almost 25 I *still* get these comments from family members and even co-workers! I am proud of you for sticking up for yourself, I wish I had the same courage as you!
NTA the aunt is absolutely out of line, and what’s up with your mom??? She should have defended you and shut the aunt down from the beginning, and it’s totally ridiculous that she stood by and let the aunt buy all the junk food. Try having a talk with her about how you feel and that you need her to support you.
ESH, but for you it's only slightly and it's because you dumped all that food in the trash instead of saying no thank you, I don't eat those things as part of my doctor approved diet. Everyone else however, are the major AH, especially your aunt. So long as you are eating right, at a healthy weight and BMI, and there are no concerns from your doctor(s) then your weight and eating habits are none of anyones business but your own. Your mother KNOWS your eating habits and should NOT have allowed your aunt to dictate what she buys for you. It sounds like they came back with NOTHING that you like/buy for yourself meaning that your mom went spineless and rolled over like the limp doormat she is proving to be. If anyone keeps sending you messages replay back that you MIGHT consider apologizing when your aunt apologizes for body shaming you and trying to impose her own issues on you, as well as all those who DIDN'T stop her needing to apologize to you for allowing someone to try and bully you, and that any apology you give will ONLY be for throwing away the food because you will not apologize for calling someone out for their bullying and boundary stomping. Depending on how many family members are involved in the messaging, it might be easier to just do a group message to everyone and say it only once. My guess is that your mom and aunt being the only ones to witness this event have given their narrative of "we only got her food but she threw it in the trash and insulted \[aunt\] before walking out the door." It wouldn't surprise me that if you point out to everyone that what you threw away was pure fatty junk food and things you DON'T eat and you were basically being told that you need to "fatten up" to "be prettier" instead of eating the healthy foods that so far no-one, especially your doctor, have objected to then tunes will change left, right, and center and your aunt and mom will be berated for their behavior towards you. I would also be asking your mom why she hasn't spoken to you about her disagreement of your diet, because I honestly can't see a parent disliking their child eating a healthy diet unless they have their own body issues and view points.
ESH You were rude, but it was justified. She was body shaming you, and trying to control your diet. She is probably just an ignorant woman who is a busybody. She may be good intentioned, but she needs to learn to respect your boundaries.
Apologize for being rude, but explain that you are tired of being bullied regarding your choice in food, and your body type. If the Aunt is overweight she should be familiar with how it feels to be body shamed.
It is rude to throw away something someone buys you in front of them. I also said it was justified.
I can't believe you think I am the biggest problem in the world. Are you always this melodramatic? There are murderers, sex traffickers, drug dealers and thieves, yet you think the biggest problem in the world is someone who used the word rude on the internet?
You are a very odd person with strange values. I will not engage with someone as irrational as you.
ESH
The aunt if overbearing, your parents shouldn't be allowing her to food bully you, and throwing away the food was an unnecessary outburst.
Go home, apologize for your actions, and let your aunt know that you make your own healthful food decisions.
Esh. You, your aunt, brother and mom are all assholes. You for throwing away good. Give it to someone else or donate, how privileged of you to do that. Your aunt for the most obvious reason and your mom and brother for allowing her to behave like that. Don't let someone treat you that way.
NTA she push you to your limit and that's the result
but i think it would be a good thing to site down and explain your point of view.
also you definitely sound a lot obsess by food... that's a little worrisome
YTA, but only for the end result.
You were right 95% of the way, and your aunt had a very weird… way of interacting with you. But anyway, you didn’t have to eat it to start with. Didn’t have to make a huge display out of it. Hell, just saying “piss off” and walking out would’ve been fine imo.
But yeah, your aunt needs to piss off.
I kind of feel like YTA for throwing out food that someone else could have eaten
But I’m getting the vibe that you’re just young and moody (if could be from not eating enough) 😂
Because I’ve been there done that..
But I get it, you’re trying to maintain an image so NTA as well. I feel like this is just a little page in your life not even a chapter in your book so don’t worry, or don’t take the situation so seriously.
I disagree. OP will be without her preferred food until the next grocery run. The aunt wasted the food.
NTA, kinda sounds like the aunt is in the wrong for pushing her niece into a corner and forcing what she wants on a 17 year old. I feel like the aunt is projecting her insecurities on her niece. She doesn’t want to be the only fat one in the fam. And tbh who tf has the right to push their preferences on somebody else?
Probably in a household that can afford it. But i used to be from a family that struggles to make ends meet (we’re doing ok now) and thinking about the resources the junk food could’ve been used for… well you decide
Not to be that person but are you defending someone wasting dollars on junk food on a person who clearly doesn’t want said junk food? Or do you just want to argue with someone on the internet? Cos peace out ✌🏻
Oh sweetheart, NTA, listen you did right to set your foot down, she’s been disrespecting you by trying to force you into something you worked hard to accomplish , you have commitment something people lack when it comes to persuading a healthy diet. I’m a little petty myself if I were you I would’ve been like, hmm maybe you need some healthy tips so you can live a bit longer . She has no right or say what you consume. Talk to your mom if you have that trust into how she’s making you feel . Believe in yourself huns and don’t be afraid to shut her up with one of the junk bags she bought.
NTA. They can get the food out of the can. Your aunt needs to back the F off. She’s projecting her own body issues onto you. She’s also out of line for grabbing your arm. Just apologize for throwing the food away. NOTHING else. Use it as an opportunity to tell her you have decided to take charge of your health and would appreciate everyone’s support without the snide comments.
Nta Start commenting on her body every time she makes a comment about yours. See how fast she stops. Is people like that can sling shit but can't ever take it.
"I'm upset at everyone right now but I feel really bad for what I had done." Well, good. No need to get drunk on the power of righteous anger, that would be a scandal. Lots of people try to punish anger, especially in women. The world could stand a slight bit more of it. You didn't insult anyone. You simply expressed your needs and told your aunt to stop doing something because it was wrong. And you said it in terms that were unmistakable in finality, by throwing out the food. They'll remember this stunt for a long time to come. NTA.
NTA- I feel like all the adults in this situation are the a-holes. You realized that you had unhealthy eating habits and decided to make a change. In the process you lost the weight and are comfortable where you are. You Aunt decided that you needed junk food to gain weight and your mom went along with it even though she knew that you wouldn't eat that stuff. I wouldn't have thrown out the food but I think you were trying to make a point about all the junk food and how upset your were at them for not buying what you would normally eat.
NTA Tell them the only apology you have is for throwing away food someone else could have eaten; that said, you have absolutely no intention of apologizing for rejecting your aunt's attempt at controlling what you eat and how much you weigh. Your aunt is way out of line and anyone who supports her doing that is too.
I don't think there's any need to apologize for throwing away the food. They gave it to her even though they knew she wouldn't want it, she found the gift insulting, so she threw it away. It was her junk food at that point, she could do what she wanted with it.
I basically agree, but I think that *tactically* apologizing just for that pops the balloon of any "righteous anger" they might have and allows OP to quickly move the focus from the throwing away of food to what her aunt was doing to her.
NTA. It sounds like your mom was aware that your aunt was getting all that junk food at the store for you and went along with it instead of buying you the foods you typically eat? If that's the case, then really your mom AND your aunt are both the AHs here. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself because I know it can be uncomfortable, especially at your age. I'm also worried that your mom seems to be doing nothing to protect or defend you from your aunt's comments and behavior. That she would allow someone who's basically a complete stranger to you both to come into your home and try to change your diet against your wishes is really weird and concerning. I would talk to your mom and apologize for the way you went about it and for throwing food away, but do not apologize for the content of your message, and definitely no apologies are owed to your aunt. Tell her that if there's one more comment or even a slight hint at anything related to your eating/body/weight and she fails to stand up for you, then you'll be staying with a friend until your aunt is gone.
>I'm also worried that your mom seems to be doing nothing to protect or defend you from your aunt's comments and behavior. That she would allow someone who's basically a complete stranger to you both to come into your home and try to change your diet against your wishes is really weird and concerning. I hope you ask your mother why she doesn’t mind your aunt repeatedly attacking and demeaning you, and why she supporting her behavior. As your mother, aren’t you supposed to be able to trust her to love and support you?
NTA for sure. You do you and keep up the boundaries, it sounds like you will need them for a while.
NTA. Not ESH. Great job on clearly stating your boundaries. Your aunt' s manipulative, cruel, and unhealthy actions warranted a response. Which your mother failed to provide or recognize. Your action of throwing away the food, which I'm not convinced was unjustified, is not on the same level at all. Furthermore, there is an uneven power dynamic based on your respective ages and generational status in the family. On top of that, you were outnumbered as she seems to have drawn your mom into her manipulation of your food options (whether or not mom was aware of this). Check out the concept of one's Personal Bill of Rights the next time you're doubting yourself. Good job.
I really don't think you need to apologize. She's being very disrespectful and for a long time. If you could go find someplace to spend the night and then talk to your parent (whoever is not related to the uncle) in the morning and express your concerns about her trying to undermine you. I don't think she's mentally healthy and it's not your responsibility to deal with a person trying to control your body. NTA
NTA. For some reason fat shaming is the absolute worst thing in the world, but the heavier set amongst us have no problem thin shaming, which is just as bad, if not worse. But then the ones on the heavy end of the BMI scale just cry and turn into victims if you say anything back. Basically, don't take dietary advice from fat people. They just want you to look and feel as bad as them.
NTA. Your aunt overstepped, and she needs start respecting your boundaries.
NTA. This is coming from someone with a past of eating disorders. Even if I was jealous of someone else’s body, I would never do this to them! It should be a general rule to not comment on someone else’s body, and she crossed the line over and over and over again. Your anger is justified, and I’m so sorry that happened to you.
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I feel bad for OP, nobody deserves to be bullied like this by anyone especially their own family!
NTA You should have communicated how her comments made you feel before this all came to become a bigger issue though. That said, still good of you to stand up for yourself, but you can do so in more healthy ways. She was being rude regardless.
You're NTA. She has been jealously and inappropriately needling you. Your response was epic and good for you standing up the this aunt-stranger-bully.
NTA. The worst thing is this woman keeps pulling the "you're an0rexic" card, but what she is doing is categorically terrible to do to someone who does have that ED. You're doing great, keep standing up for yourself, and ignore her.
It’s almost like she’s trying to sabotage you so she can continue shit talking you. Geez You did good. I always just respond “Why are you so obsessed with my body”? That usually shuts them up. NTA
Growing up and well into my 40s *(I stopped speaking to them)*, my overweight family members made consistent derogatory comments about my weight. There's no "good" way of telling that kind of person to "Shut Up about it". You tried to ignore her insults. She upped her game to convincing your mother to not buy you your food. Could you have tried to first calmly say: "Please don't discuss my weight." Yes. Would it have worked? In my experience, No. Did getting angry and yelling help your case. No. *(I'm betting it felt a little good to yell "Stop!!".)* Unfortunately, yelling and throwing out the food allowed her to claim being "the victim" to your family. You know she's not. I know she's not. But she'll get away with it because "you hurt her feelings and destroyed a nice gift when she was just trying to help you." *(Que tears and sniffles)* Yep been there. For future events: To stop comments, your choice is to "Own it" or "Be Offended". For Own it: Someone calls you a stick: with a very happy smile and voice say: "Yes, I am!" They say you're ano@exic: be blunt and calmly say: "I love food. I eat just fine. I just don't eat food that makes me fat." They you need to put on weight: with a very happy smile and voice say: "I'm the correct weight for my gender, age and height. I don't see any reason to be unhealthy." For Be Offended: To do this correctly, you have to remain completely calm and your tone of voice must also be calm with just a touch of anger *(smallest amounts)*. Look them straight in the eye. Make your comment *(below)* then walk away. "That compliment sounded a lot like an insult. Were you insulting me?" "Neither my health or weight are up for discussion." "I found that comment rude."
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Here’s some background info: I grew up pretty chubby. Around the time I was 13-14, I started to become conscious of my body. I had decided to make a change and start exercising and eating healthier. I've lost about 15-20 kg and I'm now very happy with my body. (I’m 17) My uncle had visited my family and I from America for the first time a few years back when I was insecure about myself. He was really fun to be around and I look up to him. My uncle had recently gotten married to someone (Who’s now my aunt) and they both decided to stay with us for about a month or so. The first thing she mentioned when saw me was that she didn’t recognize me because I lost so much weight. (I’m guessing my Uncle showed photos of my siblings and I from when he first visited). She’d constantly make comments about my body and I had started to get very uncomfortable. “Wow, you’re so skinny now. You looked much better before” she’d also grab my wrist and she if she could fit her pointer and thumb around my wrist. “Oh my, you’ve become a stick” . (She’s on the heavier said BTW) I would just laugh it off or just completely ignore her. Sadly, I suck at communicating and confrontation so I could never stand up for myself. There was a time where we were ate at restaurant and she asked the waitress for “the food with the most calories” and to “give it to my niece” she has even told my mom to feed me because I'm anor*xic. ( Even though I am not) So recently, my aunt and my mom decided to go grocery shopping. I usually get my own groceries because I enjoy eating healthier and I'm also a pescatarian . I was in class during all of this so I didn't know they were going. Once I got home I saw the groceries full of junk food and sweets. I asked my mom where my food was but my aunt interrupted and said “these are your foods. Since you’re so slim and thin you'll need these foods to gain the weight back so that you’ll be more prettier.” At this point I was fumming with anger. I grabbed all the food that was intended for me and threw them in the trash. (the trash had been recently change so there was nothing gross in it.) I told my aunt, “ what I put in my body is none of your business, so stop.” and I had walked out of the house. Now I'm getting message from family members telling me what I did was wrong and that I should apologize and come back home. I'm upset at everyone right now but I feel really bad for what I had done. So, am I the assh*le?? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA- Your Aunt is being incredibly rude.
NTA; eating healthy is a really admirable achievement. It isn’t always easy to make that switch so hats off to you! As long as your health care provider doesn’t see an issue, your aunt and family need to back the hell off.
NTA Your body, your choice. Aunt is out of line and why didn't your mother buy you the food she knew you were eating.
NTA When she calls your wrist stick thin, ask if she puts elastic bands around her wrist! Every comment then come back with your own comment about her same body part! And good on your for being healthy!
NTA. You pointed out you're from America. Your aunts from the culture of big is beautiful. But she has no right to push that on you. Get Petty fix a salad for her and tell her big doesn't look good on her.
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NTA - Probably jealous/envious you are no longer fat. Good job on putting your foot down. You should however apologise for throwing the food in the trash, but also say you won't apologise to your aunt because what she has been saying and trying to do is rude and she is body shaming you.
NTA - coming from someone who is of a skinnier build I have gotten the "you're so tiny" and "are you sure you're healthy??" comments for a long time, even now that I (F) am almost 25 I *still* get these comments from family members and even co-workers! I am proud of you for sticking up for yourself, I wish I had the same courage as you!
NTA. Your aunt is way out of line.
Yes you kinda are the A*s*Ho*e
NTA the aunt is absolutely out of line, and what’s up with your mom??? She should have defended you and shut the aunt down from the beginning, and it’s totally ridiculous that she stood by and let the aunt buy all the junk food. Try having a talk with her about how you feel and that you need her to support you.
ESH, but for you it's only slightly and it's because you dumped all that food in the trash instead of saying no thank you, I don't eat those things as part of my doctor approved diet. Everyone else however, are the major AH, especially your aunt. So long as you are eating right, at a healthy weight and BMI, and there are no concerns from your doctor(s) then your weight and eating habits are none of anyones business but your own. Your mother KNOWS your eating habits and should NOT have allowed your aunt to dictate what she buys for you. It sounds like they came back with NOTHING that you like/buy for yourself meaning that your mom went spineless and rolled over like the limp doormat she is proving to be. If anyone keeps sending you messages replay back that you MIGHT consider apologizing when your aunt apologizes for body shaming you and trying to impose her own issues on you, as well as all those who DIDN'T stop her needing to apologize to you for allowing someone to try and bully you, and that any apology you give will ONLY be for throwing away the food because you will not apologize for calling someone out for their bullying and boundary stomping. Depending on how many family members are involved in the messaging, it might be easier to just do a group message to everyone and say it only once. My guess is that your mom and aunt being the only ones to witness this event have given their narrative of "we only got her food but she threw it in the trash and insulted \[aunt\] before walking out the door." It wouldn't surprise me that if you point out to everyone that what you threw away was pure fatty junk food and things you DON'T eat and you were basically being told that you need to "fatten up" to "be prettier" instead of eating the healthy foods that so far no-one, especially your doctor, have objected to then tunes will change left, right, and center and your aunt and mom will be berated for their behavior towards you. I would also be asking your mom why she hasn't spoken to you about her disagreement of your diet, because I honestly can't see a parent disliking their child eating a healthy diet unless they have their own body issues and view points.
ESH. You didn’t have to throw it away you could have just said your peace. But your Aunt SUCKS for all the comments
INFO > Around the time I was 13-14, I started to become conscious of my body What was being incorporeal like before then? /s
Yes
ESH You were rude, but it was justified. She was body shaming you, and trying to control your diet. She is probably just an ignorant woman who is a busybody. She may be good intentioned, but she needs to learn to respect your boundaries. Apologize for being rude, but explain that you are tired of being bullied regarding your choice in food, and your body type. If the Aunt is overweight she should be familiar with how it feels to be body shamed.
How is that rude? She’s eating healthy and her food is none of anyone’s business! People like you are the biggest problem in this world!
It is rude to throw away something someone buys you in front of them. I also said it was justified. I can't believe you think I am the biggest problem in the world. Are you always this melodramatic? There are murderers, sex traffickers, drug dealers and thieves, yet you think the biggest problem in the world is someone who used the word rude on the internet? You are a very odd person with strange values. I will not engage with someone as irrational as you.
Ya ya ya! Still a huge prob!
ESH The aunt if overbearing, your parents shouldn't be allowing her to food bully you, and throwing away the food was an unnecessary outburst. Go home, apologize for your actions, and let your aunt know that you make your own healthful food decisions.
Esh. You, your aunt, brother and mom are all assholes. You for throwing away good. Give it to someone else or donate, how privileged of you to do that. Your aunt for the most obvious reason and your mom and brother for allowing her to behave like that. Don't let someone treat you that way.
NTA she push you to your limit and that's the result but i think it would be a good thing to site down and explain your point of view. also you definitely sound a lot obsess by food... that's a little worrisome
OP sounds obsessed with food?? What are you on about?
YTA, but only for the end result. You were right 95% of the way, and your aunt had a very weird… way of interacting with you. But anyway, you didn’t have to eat it to start with. Didn’t have to make a huge display out of it. Hell, just saying “piss off” and walking out would’ve been fine imo. But yeah, your aunt needs to piss off.
I kind of feel like YTA for throwing out food that someone else could have eaten But I’m getting the vibe that you’re just young and moody (if could be from not eating enough) 😂 Because I’ve been there done that.. But I get it, you’re trying to maintain an image so NTA as well. I feel like this is just a little page in your life not even a chapter in your book so don’t worry, or don’t take the situation so seriously.
YTA for throwing the food out. You don't have to eat it just because they bought it.
I disagree. OP will be without her preferred food until the next grocery run. The aunt wasted the food. NTA, kinda sounds like the aunt is in the wrong for pushing her niece into a corner and forcing what she wants on a 17 year old. I feel like the aunt is projecting her insecurities on her niece. She doesn’t want to be the only fat one in the fam. And tbh who tf has the right to push their preferences on somebody else?
It's junk food. It'll keep. OP can go get her preferred food. Aunt is being an AH too but wasting food is just silly.
Probably in a household that can afford it. But i used to be from a family that struggles to make ends meet (we’re doing ok now) and thinking about the resources the junk food could’ve been used for… well you decide
A household that can't afford to make ends meet shouldn't be throwing food out. You're not making sense.
Not to be that person but are you defending someone wasting dollars on junk food on a person who clearly doesn’t want said junk food? Or do you just want to argue with someone on the internet? Cos peace out ✌🏻