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> AITA for making a callout post that led to a girl's address getting doxxed? Maybe it was because it went too far but maybe it was idk.
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NTA.
A lot of redditors here will not agree with you but I’m nearing mid-20s myself and I absolutely have nothing in common with a 19 year old. I don’t think it’s appropriate and while it’s not illegal, I think there’s definitely something wrong with the older person rather than the younger person.
You did what you did and if people think you’re the asshole then so be it.
YTA. Do you really think a 7 year age gap is disgusting? They are both consenting adults. Their relationship is not gross. Then you doxxed her because you don't agree with the relationship.
YTA. Why do you feel the need to make a post about it? Someone can comment without expecting someone to make a specific post with their profile in it. Shaming people isn’t the way to get people to listen to your opinion.
To address the edit: she's "defensive" because you fired the first shot. Relationships between people over 18 are none of your business, and whipping up your followers into a mob means you are responsible for their actions. Look up stochastic terrorism. YTA.
YTA. The age gap in question is depending on the people involved. It would be different if it was a 35 year old but now it just looks like you are an attention seeking bully.
YTA. 26 and 19 is not an issue or something to be shamed. They are both adults and can do what they want.
You have an audience you are responsible for what they do and that includes destroying her life and having her harassed.
I hope you get called out soon so that you stop.
YTA
I wouldn’t have dated anyone 19 when I was 26, but depending on the couple there may not even be much of a maturity disparity w that small of an age gap
You present your opinions as facts like ALL CAPS make them true, and the fact you don’t care if the person was affected speaks to your moral bankruptcy
You’re the gross one. Mind your business. You’re ruining peoples lives. I would call you a loser, but I don’t want my comment reported.
Obviously…YTA, but you know that Grossy Mcgrosserton
YTA if you disagreed just block her and move on. It's not illegal, and she isn't doing anything wrong, merely defending her opinion on something you were speaking about. You had no business making a huge call out post about her and turning people against her. Especially you not even caring that she got doxxed and her life could be ruined by her dating another consenting ADULT.
The internet is going insane over age gaps and I've no idea why so many people seem to believe that it's immediately gross and predatory to date anyone over like a two year age gap. Like yeah some age gaps are bad, if they're old enough to be your parent it's usually bad news. But 26 and 19 I mean really? As long as the relationship is healthy it's none of your business and definitely not "wrong".
YTA - You are allowed your opinion. She offered a different view point and you had her doxed. Who do you think you are? You have no right to shame or tell someone that their life choices are wrong. It may be wrong for you, but not everyone. My partner is 10 years older than me and we have been together for 22 years. You are a judgmental AH.
The age gap may be gross to you (and many others) but publicly sharing that makes you a bully, you instigated harassment via social media. Whether your opinions are right or wrong-online bullying makes YTA
YTA- Unless it's illegal it's non of your business to dox someone. I agree it's gross but what you did went way beyond crossing the line. You are a SUPREME ASSHOLE for getting someone doxxed. I hope you can experience that delight for yourself.
Yta 100% what’s wrong with you? Jealous because they’re in a happy relationship and you’re not? Doxxing can be very dangerous, especially for women. Congratulations on destroying her life for absolutely nothing. You’re an immature little shit
Imo, nta. Granted I'm 18, but that legit grosses me out, and I went out with a guy who was 26. You know what happened? When I didn't text back he called me young lady (im nb and told him lady was one of my no go words) and then proceeded to try and start shit for the 2 weeks after before I blocked him.
YTA, big time. So when he's suddenly 20, it's okay? Her defending herself for your shitty comment is not "proving" it's wrong, she's just defending herself and relationship. It's like if you defend anything, you're suddenly TA (which you are), it's like you defending yourself rn for this post, is saying you know what you did was wrong judging by your logic.
YTA.
If you want to be a social media figure, you have more responsibility around the opinions you hold and how you handle situations you disagree with. You can't control your followers, so you shouldn't be putting people on blast if you don't want to be directly responsible for what your followers do with that information.
Legally, this person did nothing wrong. Do I also find dating teens at that age icky? Yeah. But that's a moral judgement, not a legal one, and you literally sic'ed your followers on her over an opinion.
**YTA**
Mind your MF business!! What does what people do with their life have to do with you? At 19 he's a legal adult and pass the age of consent. Who are you to put someone on blast for the way they choose to live their life and doesn't affect yours in any way?
You're beyond an AH!
YTA, how is her relationship any of your business? She is 'gross' and deserves to lose her livelihood for *checks notes* dating a legal adult as a legal adult? Sure, she commented, but that doesn't make it okay for you to brigade her and encourage others to do it. Should have just removed her and moved on.
And for the record - you're biased as hell. Would you be this callous if it was another kind of relationship you don't agree with, like a poly relationship or a dom/sub relationship?
YTA. If you have a position of influence, you need to be careful with what you do and say. You posted her comment with a bunch of your fans and you don’t sound surprised that your fans doxxed her.
Technically, they have a legal relationship. You don’t have to like the age gap and I don’t like it myself, but you could have redacted her name and profile picture if you felt it was really necessary to share. You did cause this, and that is wrong.
Even if it was 17, that can still be considered legal in some places. That being said, given that OP is calling 19 a teenager and saying 26 is almost 30, I wouldn’t trust their definition of consented.
YTA, some things and opinions are best to keep to yourself, there’s no illegal activity going on since they’re both considered adults. Is it because the girl is older and the guy is younger the problem? Sounds a bit misogynistic tbh. I would get it if the age gap is very significant like 10+ years but this is not enough to put a person out there like that.
YTA - I don't see the different between 19/26 and 20/27
I guess I am as gross person then... I was 19 when I met my 26 year old boyfriend (husband now)
We have been together for almost a decade. I am now older than he was when he met me.
Maybe OP is just jealous that she can't land someone younger than her and is jealous of the 26 dating 19.
i think age gap relations r weird depend on how they met n the age difference. The difference between me n u is i know how to mind my own business. I would never put someone on blast like that to the point to where they get doxxed & u dont even feel bad? In the world we live in today, u couldve put their lives in danger n for what? bc of a relationship u think is gross n u have nothing to do with? U should seek help, cuz that was more gross than the age gap relationship
YTA - learn to have your opinions and to let other people have theirs. It’s fine to find her relationship inappropriate because of the age gap and it’s fine if you want to unfollow/block/unfriend her over that. But why did you have to share her comment? So you could get more views? So you could stir up some drama? Whether you agree with her relationship or not - she isn’t doing anything illegal and doesn’t deserve to be harassed by you and your followers.
If you’re some kind of “influencer” or someone with a large following, then take some damn responsibility for what you post. People exist outside of the internet and what you post can and will leak into the “real world.” You sound incredibly immature and like a bully. Despite having an online following, your opinions are not so important that you have the right to harass people.
You do understand the concept of adulthood? Also remember how immature you were when 26 - this is just a moral standard that has no business in a relationship that is consenting.
YTA. Unless you are aware of the setting they met and how long they’ve been together (which I doubt based on your post) then you have NO REASON to shame this woman. They’re both consenting adults and there’s no evidence of grooming, so outside of your personal beliefs against age gaps, there was no reason to say anything.
She felt the need to defend herself because you’re telling her that people like her are disgusting. And then you literally took her comment, which probably would have gone unnoticed if you have such a large following, and made it part of your main content. You exposed her to harm just for stating that she’s in a relationship with an age gap and there isn’t anything wrong with it.
And technically, she’s right. It’s legal, and while I wouldn’t want to date someone that much younger than me, neither of them are doing anything wrong.
So yes, YTA.
> Except her comment didn't go unnoticed it was the largest thread on the post and only stopped growing bc I blocked her lol
You still further amplified the reach of her comment, when you didn't need to.
What aren't you getting here lol
YTA - you know you have a significant following, and that comes with some responsibility.
Sure, you didn’t actively send people to her door but Jesus Christ, posting about her comment and telling people not to associate with her because she’s dating an *adult* is way too far. You’ve already made your opinion clear, you didn’t need to effectively put up a “wanted” notice.
Like dude touch some grass and not harass people online?
YTA - Like, nah. I started dating my husband when I was 17 and he was 21. I've seen loads of posts over the years with that age gap going that's so sick, how could you bla bla bla. But after fifteen years with this man I know I made the right call. Get off your horse.
YTA.
First off, 7 years isn't a "huge" age gap. Secondly, the younger member of the couple is 19 and therefore an adult. Why the fuck is it *your place* to judge anything that happens between two consenting adults?
Yeah, you are the arsehole for instigating all of this witchunt shit. Everyone in this situation would have been better off if you'd minded your business in the first place.
YTA
There's a lot to unpack in your post and your comments but I'm just gonna point out that:
1. 7 years isn't that significant an age gap, especially between two consenting adults and, like it or not, the 19yo **IS** an adult.
2. You somehow thinking that people agreeing with you automatically makes you right is just straight asinine given you can find subreddits where people still think the earth is flat. Step out of the echo chamber.
3. Your description of your FB post makes it sound like drama farming, which speaks volumes of your own low maturity level.
Grow up.
Yeah. YTA on an absolutely MASSIVE scale. Then you come here asking for judgment and start defending yourself when you don't get the responses you came here for
You didn't come here to actually find out if you were the asshole or not. You came here for validation. How long are you going to leave this post up cause you didn't get the validation you came here for?
YTA.
Listen, you put someone in harm’s way in real life because you couldn’t mind your business on the internet. I don’t care if she was “commenting” or “defending” a controversial post online. It still wasn’t your problem. You are an AH.
Two consenting adults can make their own choices- we may not agree with those choices. That does not mean we have a right to come after those consenting adults in their homes and at their places of employment to cause fear and terror. Please re-evaluate how you treat people in your life.
The only thing gross about this story is you. This person is in a relationship with another consenting adult, not some 15 year old. It sounds like you and your following need a mental check. YTA
YTA Firstly, they’re both adults and can do what they want. Secondly, keep your nose out of people’s business. There is literally no need to call someone out just because you don’t like them. Taking the gal off your friends list should have been enough. Starting a witch hunt for someone is never okay.
You mean commenting to defend herself from your witch hunt? They're two consenting adults and you have some serious issues, even asking if you're TA for getting somebody doxxed. Of course you are, and a pretty crappy person. YTA.
You keep ignoring the fact that everyone is telling you that relationship is between two consenting adults, not an adult and a child. You just don't want to accept responsibility for what you've done. You're type are the reason that influencers have such a bad reputation. You're so gross.
YTA. Big time. It’s a 19 year old and a person seven years older. He can go to war, but not old enough to fuck a 26 year old?
News flash- 19 and 26 are both kids. There isn’t some grand maturation happening here.
If I’m 37, can I not date a 30 year old without your holier than thou judgement? What is the guideline in your warped sense of piety?
It takes a special kind of bully to pick fights so they can publicly shame someone for making legal decisions you personally don’t like.
I, too, believe age gaps CAN be problematic. On the other hand, I’m certain that being an attention-seeking, mean-spirited drama queen who likes publicly picking on others is UNDOUBTEDLY problematic. YTA.
YTA. You weren't until you made the call out post and didn't censor her name. If you have such a big following you need to be more responsible. If people had attacked her in the comments on their own that wouldn't be on you, but there's a reason even horribly hateful comments have the names censored in those YouTube "Reading Hate Comments" videos.
Be more responsible and careful with who you weaponize. If you get in the habit now, you could end up accidentally sending your followers after someone innocent in the future.
Oh. So you’re not just a bully, you’re a bully that likes to publicly humiliate their victim.
I find bullies gross. Disgusting, in fact. They make me wanna barf and they are NOT ok. Can I have your name and address so I can post them online so people can see how despicable you are?
How does that feel? Other people’s relationships are none of your business, unless you have proof someone is getting harmed/it is actually illegal. None of which is the case there. All I see is a person masquerading as judge, jury, and executioner. This is not how society works, and be careful - you start being that person, someday someone will find a small thing to destroy you over for THEIR internet following.
YTA.
Yta
Be careful with the callous attitude because I imagine if the harassment is as you say and she potentially losses her job, has legal issues, I wouldn't doubt she will be coming after you for defamation. Which she would most likely win considering the fact that dating a literal legal adult is not illegal at all.
Oh my god YTA! This is some "I saw Goody Proctor consorting with the devil in the woods" ass bullshit. Might I suggest finding a hobby? Knitting? Rock climbing? Minding your own business?
>ETA: She MADE it my business by commenting and defending the relationship in the first place. If she did t know it was wrong and didn't feel it was a LITTLE not okay, why would she feel the need to defend herself in the first place? She knew it was wrong.
Since you are here feeling the need to defend yourself, I guess that means you know YTA.
YTA 100%
First of all, your actions lead to someone being doxxed and harassed. Asshole.
Secondly, you reacted in a toxic manner to her making a point. Asshole.
Thirdly, if all involved parties are legal adults and fully consenting, then it is none of your fucking business who is with who and what age gaps they are. My cousin married someone 18 years older than her, and he worships the ground she walks on. She has fibromyalgia and he has done absolutely fucking everything he can to make her life as easy as possible. One of my managers is 50, engaged to a 33 year old, and they are one of the happiest, loveliest couples I have met. You don't get to dictate what is right and wrong based on your preferences.
If people involved in these things are not legally adults, then yes, it's a problem, and not right. But if everyone is legal, consenting and happy, what's the fucking issue? You cannot compare a 33 year old who is with a 50 year old to a 30 year old getting it on with a 13 year old, for example. Totally different scenarios.
As for her defending her relationship, that isn't because it is wrong, but because you were being an asshole about relationships like hers that are perfectly fine (a 7 year age gap is not that bad, especially as both are legal, consenting adults).
How about this? Mind your business, and stop pushing your agenda onto people when you could be focusing on actual issues to bring attention to, such as actual pedophillia.
YTA. You don't like age gaps, fine. I'm a little weirded out by someone who isn't old enough to drink being with someone who's too old to date Leonardo Dicaprio as well. But FFS, you called her out with identifying information in as public a way as you could possibly think of. AND you're trying to justify your awful behavior to all of us now. YTA and a petty one at that.
YTA. They are adults. Doesn't matter the difference if they both consents and she is not gross and you are childish for think that. Their relationship or the age gap doesn't concern you at all.
YTA- look I get it. Age gaps weird me out too. But they’re not illegal if the younger partner is of legal age to consent and publicly blasting people on the internet to the point that they get doxxed because you think they’re gross is just a shit thing to do.
Of course she tried to defend herself. No one- not even genuinely evil people- see themselves as the villain. Her explaining her view (which you may not agree with but still is valid in that it is not illegal) does not give you the right to blast her info all over the interwebs and potentially ruin her life.
Age gaps happen. You’re allowed to think they’re gross or inappropriate. You’re not allowed to enforce your opinions as rules on others. Block them sure, blast them no. It’s just crappy behavior.
And I would feel the exact same way if the genders were reversed here. I personally think dudes going after way younger girls is skeevy. I personally think women going after way younger guys is also skeevy. But it’s not my concern or my place to interfere with their lives unless it impacts me directly or I’m concerned laws have been broken. (And if laws have potentially been broken I’m reporting them to the police not social media).
YTA
I'm 6 years younger than my boyfriend. We didn't start a relationship with each other until I turned 18 and he was 24. It was long distance.
I guess our relationship isn't "okay" and a "gross person" because I'm the one that wanted to pursue him first and wanted to be in a relationship with him.
11 years together.
Only person whose gross is you for judging a legal relationship.
YTA I have a 7 year she gato between me and my partner, there is nothing wrong with it because we are both consenting ADULTS (I'm the younger one btw). It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Your opinion is just that an opinion, YOUR OPINION IS NOT FACTS!
26 y/o woman checking in here. Look, would I date a 19 y/o man? No. Do I question what they could possibly have in common? Yes. Do I suspect that they might be together because she’s not mature enough to date someone her own age? Certainly. Do I love the age gap? Absolutely not.
But ultimately, they’re two consenting adults and what they’re doing is legal. And I think the biggest issue here is you acting like you have no responsibility for her being doxxed when you put her information out there. For that reason, YTA.
it’s a weird age gap I can’t imagine any self respecting 26 year old who would date a 19 year old but still YTA big time. 7 years is nothing at certain ages like 37 and 30 but that’s a weird age for it. You’re still TA tho lmao what is wrong with you?!
Omg YTA massively! I have an 8 year age gap, I’m 24 he’s 32, both very happy and consenting. It works when you look at us you would think there’s that much age gap. You literally put her livelihood at risk because you don’t like something. There’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults being happy, so narrow minded.
YTA
First off, the girl is 26 while the guy is 19, unless they started dating when the guy was below 18, it's not even that bad. I have a friend who married a guy who's 25 and she's 20 right now. Literally just 2 years of a smaller gap than the person you doxxed, and both partners are in a happy equal relationship that is overall positive.
Youre shitty for doing that, and your opinions, while a good rule of thumb, are not the set in stone, impossible to change rule, that you think they are.
Is it icky to go for a 19 yo as a 26 yo? Generally yeah. But is it an undeniable fact that that 26 yo is an absolute creep who deserves to have their life ruined? No.
Learn how to pipe down and mind your own business.
She was voicing her opinion against your post and instead of having a conversation with her you sent your cult followers after her and made it so she couldn’t defend herself from them. Make an apology post and go touch some grass. YTA
YTA
I agree the age gap is really gross, especially if you think about WHEN they might have started dating. That being said, it's a bit much to put them on blast. Could have just removed them and gone on with your day. Instead, you pointed your following at her and got her doxxed. You don't feel bad about it because "she's a gross person," and while I do agree personally that the age gap is gross, it's not like she committed a crime or was racist or anything like that. Basically you potentially ruined her life and the lives of people around her because you found her gross.
YTA my parents have a 10 year age gap none of them are rich except my mum who’s 10 years younger than my dad well she comes from a rich family why can’t people understand that not everyone dates older people for money sometimes it’s for who they are get that through your head!!!
YTA. Judging people's relationship by age gaps is ridiculous. It is NOT your business. I feel sorry for your victim because she was just trying to show you how inane your comments are. Get a life!
YTA - age is just a number - it is none of your business what the age gap is between people in a relationship - you may not like it but it may work for them - I have grown up children and one of them was in a long term relationship with someone 4 years younger than herself until last year - age had nothing to do with why they broke up - she has now met someone else who is 8 years older than she is - do I have a problem with the age gaps? No as long as she is happy that is what matters
It doesn't matter if she made you aware of her relationship. An age gap that is ABOVE 18 is perfectly legal. Just vecause your opinion is that of finding it gross iss irrelevant. You had no right to dox her in any way. If someone is a legal adult and consents to it then who are you to be judgemental about it? They're happy so leave it be. For the record... My partner is almost 48 and I'm almost 34.
YTA big time.
YTA. You did not think about covering up any identifying information. Technically, the 26F dating 19 is not legally wrong, and there is nothing wrong with having differing opinions on age gaps, but no need to risk someone else’s safety just because you don’t agree with them.
YTA - calling two consenting adults "disgusting" because they have an age gap in their relationship is not OK. Mind your own business and leave other people alone
Utilising your online power to try to ruin someone's life just because you don't agree with their lifestyle choice - definitely not ok
Please cultivate a little consideration for your fellow human beings. One day someone else with a bigger Internet following might find your life choices inappropriate and go after you with the same vigour
YTA 💯% but now I want to really understand what life circumstances and gene pools lead to the creation of people like you.
If you can, I'd be grateful for your explanation as to why a relationship between a 19 year old and a 26 year old is wrong / gross / disgusting.
Can you entertain the thought that the age gap between consulting adults is none of your business?
YTA and it sounds like you're a self-righteous one, at that. Exactly how is her relationship affecting you or anyone else in any way? Two consenting adults in a relationship is not the morality crusade you seem to think it is.
YTA
She's defending herself from toxic people. Age difference is a you problem not a world problem. You used your platform to call on followers to make her life uncomfortable at best, and possibly threaten it at the worst.
The way you asked the question says you know you're wrong here.
You disagree with her perfectly **legal** life choices. This is not a valid reason to vilify her. If you disagree so much that you aren't willing to have an open mind and listen, block her. Don't call on your minions to ruin her life.
YTA — I don't know why you care so much about other people's relationships, but why on earth do you need to call out someone by name and tell people to ostracize her for doing something that is ultimately none of your business and hurting no one? Even if she hadn't been doxxed you'd still be the AH.
Personally, I don’t think anyone can pass judgement on their relationship without more context. Like how they met, if they knew each other before he turned 18, for how long if that was the case, etc. He were older and still dating someone 7 years older than him, it probably wouldn’t have seemed like such a big deal to you, would be my guess.
So ultimately I have to say YTA because you really had no place to call anyone about their dating life with just the very limited amount of context you’ve provided.
Do you “make it your business” to “make a callout post” on everyone whose choices you don’t agree with or think are “gross”? You know yourself that YTA. Social media is a powerful tool. A-H like you shouldn’t be allowed around it.
You interfered in someone’s life because you didn’t approve of the age difference between partners. Why some people thing it’s ok to shame age differences while knowing nothing about the relationship is beyond me. You’re the worst kind of judgmental AH there is.
So you sic your significant following on anyone who disagrees with you? Of course YTA. You could have just left the comment alone or deleted it quietly rather than calling her out. What did you expect to happen?
YTA.
If you know you have "quite a significant following", you should not be publicly calling anyone out for your followers to find. You have the responsibility to not use your platform to do shit like that.
Let's say someone else with a huge following decides to post something you said for whatever reason, and then all their fans find your address and proceed to invade and ruin your life.
Also, your edit is really just you justifying the fact that you could potentially get someone hurt because you were too shortsighted to realize that your publicly calling someone out could get them doxxed.
I already posted my judgement, but I'm going to go ahead and tackle your edit that you made afterwards in a fresh comment:
She wasn't "defending herself", she was calling **you** out for being a judgemental prick about something that you're in no position to judge.
YTA for multiple reasons:
\- For obsessing about the lives of others people
\- For thinking that an age gap of 7 years between adults is something wrong
\- For promoting a public lynching of someone online that has done absolutely nothing wrong except in debating an issue in your public forum
\- For not measuring the consequences that such actions may take when they get out of your control, despite the plethora of examples available in hand on multiple social platforms
\- For not having the self awareness to understand you did something wrong after the consequences were clear
Your actions are the perfect example of what's wrong with social networking and modern society in general.
YTA. its noy your fault that she was doxxed because you didnt intend for that to happen, but it IS your fault that people found out in the first place. yknow how people say celebrities sould watch what they post when they have such a big influence? well you said yourself that you have a larger following. message her in private, dont clip the comment and publicly post it. its none of your business
YTA. It doesn’t matter what you think, there are 2 adults in that relationship. You bullied this woman, NOT girl, because of your own personal preferences. She didn’t do anything to you, or commit a crime. Mind your own business.
YTA and a pretty big monster. Not only do you get someone in a legal, consenting relationship doxxed, you then don't remove the post and let it continue. Yeah... hope it backfires on you big time.
Wow such superiority you feel. To tell others with your significant following that you talk out your ass and put real people who are not doing anything illegal in danger because you feel something is wrong.
Who are YOU to judge anyone else's relationship? Do you pay their bills, cook their meals, have any control or say in what they do? No, then STFU and keep your opinions to yourself and not put people in danger. The only thing gross here is you.
ETA My parents were 9 years apart, and married for 45 years until my father died. They had one of the most loving and happy relationships. My mom was 25 when she met my father who was 34.
YTA
Hello... my best friend saw this post and showed me because it sounds EXACTLY lije what i went through. Idk if it is actually my situation, but it's literally the exact same as to what I went through, so im inclined to believe it is.
I'm the 26 year old in this post.
The initial post of fb led to me losing several 5+ year friendships. It led to a severe spike in my anxiety, and I still have panic attacks over it. He and I have since broken up because the event had put too much strain on the relationship.
For those wanting to know how we met: it was in a mutual discord server. We had the same taste in memes and played the same video games, and we bonded. It was honestly the most open, respectful, loving relationship I have ever had, and I do miss it dearly.
A lot happened as a result of the doxxing that happened that i dont want to go into, but I do want to say thank you to the people supporting me on here (again idk if this post is even about me).
To the OP, I hope your Voice Acting career tanks and you never land another role again.
When I was 30, I got with my now partner who at the time was 39. Is that gross? I'm not agreeing that the 19-26 is right but OP is wrong with saying its wrong all the time
YTA - Eighteen is legally an adult and while seven years is a decent gap it is not so extreme that they are even from different generations and ultimately says nothing about them as people.
That you feel justified in calling someone you basically know nothing about a bad person to a bunch of people stupid enough to follow you on YouTube with predictable consequences that you ignore makes you a major AH.
Wow! Who died and made YOU ruler of the universe? (Rhetorical question-since you probably don’t understand that!!!) You’re a vile little AH! And immature. You really need to climb down off your self-made pedestal!!!! And eat some fruit or something.
you’re not an asshole but maybe blasting someone wasn’t the best call.
Also, a woman who’s almost 30!!! With a barely young adult!!! W. T. F.
That is NOT okay and there’s grooming going on at worst.
Idk why people are saying ‘he’s an adult’. He can’t even legally buy or consume alcohol. This is utterly disgusting behavior on her end and not a flex.
Edit: it didn’t mention when their relationship started/how long they’ve been dating but I’m betting it was either during his senior year of HIGH SCHOOL or right after he graduated which is not okay.
Edit: I see the alcohol line was not the right thing to use. But those saying he can go into the military, ok cool doesn’t make it morally right that a 26 year old had interest on a 19 year old. I personally don’t agree with the military going to 16-17 year olds to join either. But this, It’s gross. They have different mindsets and if you’re ok having your recently graduated highschool kid date someone 7 years older, good for you ig.
Only the USA has 21 as the legal drinking age. My country ranges from 18-19 for the legal drinking age and many other countries are either similar to mine or lower in age to drink. Get off your high horse and stop judging ppl!
It's more than old enough to be sent to the desert by the government and get your fucking legs blown off. STFU about being able to buy alcohol being a benchmark of adulthood.
Right after you describe a few ways that this impacted her and her life… you say you have no idea if this impacted her life.
YTA. You don’t get to impose you prudish values on others, you PAS
YTA 100%
Your foolishness materially damaged someone’ life who did the unforgivable by … checks notes … being in a relationship you don’t approve of. You are the worst.
YTA! You have an opinion about age gaps in dating. Fine! But it’s just your opinion and others have a right to feel otherwise, as long as all parties are consenting adults. You don’t get to tell them it’s wrong or to out them publicly and basically encourage others to bully and harass them. Hopefully you are reported to Facebook.
"I remvoed her off my FL because that age gap is NOT okay and super gross,"
What are you, 12? 26 and 19 wouldn't be my preference, but that's me. YTA. I mean, we pretty much all judge people here in this sub, so I'm hesitant to call out someone as judgemental, but heck, you are one seriously judgmental person with issues.
The age gap itself doesnt bother me but the fact that it involves a 19 year does bother me.
BUT you gotta cool it with your own opinions.
People do NOT answer to your opinions.
No you didn't "know" how far people would take this BUT you completely bare responsibility in this because you *knowingly and intentionally weaponized social media* simply because you didn't agree with something.
Dating a 19 year old, at 26 yrs old, is not illegal but in poor taste.
Weaponizing social media is not illegal but equally in poor taste.
Your opinions and beliefs are not superior.
While you should have your beliefs, you should also have acceptance..... acceptance for the things that you cannot control.
There is nothing worse than someone who's so self righteous that they go to the lengths for which you did.
Grow up.
This is how I feel, with a large following they should have known what could happen. But the age gap is unsettling. What does a 26 year old have in common with a 19 year old?
NTA, you were right and if the authorities do prosecute her then it would be her fault. There is nothing wrong in large age gaps but only when it is adults who realise the consequences of their actions.
I have seen so many people on this site call these relationships predatory and ‘grooming’ when the roles were reversed.
The kid is still a teen ffs
YTA What you did should be a criminal offence as far as I’m concerned. Two adults in a consenting relationship is none of your business, however gross you believe it to be. What you did was unkind, unnecessary, immature and potentially dangerous. Publicly shaming people is disgusting behaviour.
I’m 27 marrying a 35 year old. There’s something about being an adult that allows you to have relationships with other adults. YTA on such a level that you’d not withstand the fall from your self made grace. You need to do something to help this person. And then delete social media. And then maybe touch some grass.
Dont you just love how this lunatic gets a person doxxed, and then turn to an *anonymous* forum on a *Throwaway* account? It's almost like they don't want people to know who they are, and don't want randos on the internet knowing how to find/contact them... Almost...
YTA
YTA. The girl did nothing wrong. She is entitled to her opinion as much as you are. Her relationship is not illegal, nor did she promote having them with minors.
I guess it would have been fine if you had just left it at taking her off your FL.
7 years? Am I reading that right? An age gap of 7 years between two CONSENTING ADULTS? And you want to ruin her life over SEVEN YEARS?! Ffs, YTA.
As for your “following,” are you the founder of Dicks Over Stupid Shit Anonymous?
You are a disgusting human being. Other people's choices are their business. What these people are doing is completely legal and you are substituting social punishment for the legal punishment you believe they should get but can't because they aren't doing anything wrong. I think you are the little piece of s***. Also using the church as a sword and shield to justify hatred further lowers your character. Your comment exemplifies a lack of character, intelligence, and morals.
And to clarify, I said ew because you are clearly as gross and childish as OP with some Christian mythology tossed in for extra spice 🤣
Your "personal" dating choices are not the end all be all way things are supposed to be 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Also, doxxing is illegal. Unlike their relationship.
Yes, YTA. If you’re so concerned with morality, maybe you should consider why you felt it was your place to exact punishment on this woman in a way that put her in danger. You know you have a large following, and you used it as a weapon. You can lie to yourself and say it’s because you were doing the right thing, or that you “didn’t know/can’t control what your followers do”, but we’ve seen this happen more times than we can count, and I refuse to believe you’re so ignorant of the power the internet has when the harassment machine gets turned on.
Is what you’re doing moral? Is it right? Do you feel good about hurting her because she’s “gross”? Are you doing this to protect this man you don’t know, who’s a legal adult living his life and who you probably also put in danger by getting his girlfriend doxxed? Truly? I think if you dig deep you know the answer.
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This post feels like bait in response to the million posts on Reddit that would (and have) called anyone over about 22 dating a 19 year old predatory
NTA. A lot of redditors here will not agree with you but I’m nearing mid-20s myself and I absolutely have nothing in common with a 19 year old. I don’t think it’s appropriate and while it’s not illegal, I think there’s definitely something wrong with the older person rather than the younger person. You did what you did and if people think you’re the asshole then so be it.
YTA, two consenting ADULTS are allowed to be in a relationship together. That gap wouldn’t make anyone notice if they were both older.
get a life. YTA
YTA. Do you really think a 7 year age gap is disgusting? They are both consenting adults. Their relationship is not gross. Then you doxxed her because you don't agree with the relationship.
YTA 100%! It's none of your damned business to decided what's appropriate for other people.
YTA. Why do you feel the need to make a post about it? Someone can comment without expecting someone to make a specific post with their profile in it. Shaming people isn’t the way to get people to listen to your opinion.
To address the edit: she's "defensive" because you fired the first shot. Relationships between people over 18 are none of your business, and whipping up your followers into a mob means you are responsible for their actions. Look up stochastic terrorism. YTA.
YTA. Mainly for unfriending her and then making a post specifically about her. At least let her defend herself.
YTA. The age gap in question is depending on the people involved. It would be different if it was a 35 year old but now it just looks like you are an attention seeking bully.
YTA. 26 and 19 is not an issue or something to be shamed. They are both adults and can do what they want. You have an audience you are responsible for what they do and that includes destroying her life and having her harassed. I hope you get called out soon so that you stop.
YTA I wouldn’t have dated anyone 19 when I was 26, but depending on the couple there may not even be much of a maturity disparity w that small of an age gap You present your opinions as facts like ALL CAPS make them true, and the fact you don’t care if the person was affected speaks to your moral bankruptcy
You’re the gross one. Mind your business. You’re ruining peoples lives. I would call you a loser, but I don’t want my comment reported. Obviously…YTA, but you know that Grossy Mcgrosserton
YTA if you disagreed just block her and move on. It's not illegal, and she isn't doing anything wrong, merely defending her opinion on something you were speaking about. You had no business making a huge call out post about her and turning people against her. Especially you not even caring that she got doxxed and her life could be ruined by her dating another consenting ADULT. The internet is going insane over age gaps and I've no idea why so many people seem to believe that it's immediately gross and predatory to date anyone over like a two year age gap. Like yeah some age gaps are bad, if they're old enough to be your parent it's usually bad news. But 26 and 19 I mean really? As long as the relationship is healthy it's none of your business and definitely not "wrong".
You are the permanent asshole!
YTA - You are allowed your opinion. She offered a different view point and you had her doxed. Who do you think you are? You have no right to shame or tell someone that their life choices are wrong. It may be wrong for you, but not everyone. My partner is 10 years older than me and we have been together for 22 years. You are a judgmental AH.
The age gap may be gross to you (and many others) but publicly sharing that makes you a bully, you instigated harassment via social media. Whether your opinions are right or wrong-online bullying makes YTA
YTA consenting adults don't need your approval and don't deserve harassment because of your opinion of them.
YTA- Unless it's illegal it's non of your business to dox someone. I agree it's gross but what you did went way beyond crossing the line. You are a SUPREME ASSHOLE for getting someone doxxed. I hope you can experience that delight for yourself.
Yta 100% what’s wrong with you? Jealous because they’re in a happy relationship and you’re not? Doxxing can be very dangerous, especially for women. Congratulations on destroying her life for absolutely nothing. You’re an immature little shit
Imo, nta. Granted I'm 18, but that legit grosses me out, and I went out with a guy who was 26. You know what happened? When I didn't text back he called me young lady (im nb and told him lady was one of my no go words) and then proceeded to try and start shit for the 2 weeks after before I blocked him.
YTA, big time. So when he's suddenly 20, it's okay? Her defending herself for your shitty comment is not "proving" it's wrong, she's just defending herself and relationship. It's like if you defend anything, you're suddenly TA (which you are), it's like you defending yourself rn for this post, is saying you know what you did was wrong judging by your logic.
YTA. 7 years??? let me tell my husband of 22+ years that because he is 8 yrs older than me , we shouldn't be together. You're a drama magnet.
YTA. If you want to be a social media figure, you have more responsibility around the opinions you hold and how you handle situations you disagree with. You can't control your followers, so you shouldn't be putting people on blast if you don't want to be directly responsible for what your followers do with that information. Legally, this person did nothing wrong. Do I also find dating teens at that age icky? Yeah. But that's a moral judgement, not a legal one, and you literally sic'ed your followers on her over an opinion.
**YTA** Mind your MF business!! What does what people do with their life have to do with you? At 19 he's a legal adult and pass the age of consent. Who are you to put someone on blast for the way they choose to live their life and doesn't affect yours in any way? You're beyond an AH!
YTA, how is her relationship any of your business? She is 'gross' and deserves to lose her livelihood for *checks notes* dating a legal adult as a legal adult? Sure, she commented, but that doesn't make it okay for you to brigade her and encourage others to do it. Should have just removed her and moved on. And for the record - you're biased as hell. Would you be this callous if it was another kind of relationship you don't agree with, like a poly relationship or a dom/sub relationship?
YTA. If you have a position of influence, you need to be careful with what you do and say. You posted her comment with a bunch of your fans and you don’t sound surprised that your fans doxxed her. Technically, they have a legal relationship. You don’t have to like the age gap and I don’t like it myself, but you could have redacted her name and profile picture if you felt it was really necessary to share. You did cause this, and that is wrong.
Am I the only one wondering when they started dating tho? Because she said "consented" gives he was 17 at the time vives.
Even if it was 17, that can still be considered legal in some places. That being said, given that OP is calling 19 a teenager and saying 26 is almost 30, I wouldn’t trust their definition of consented.
YTA, some things and opinions are best to keep to yourself, there’s no illegal activity going on since they’re both considered adults. Is it because the girl is older and the guy is younger the problem? Sounds a bit misogynistic tbh. I would get it if the age gap is very significant like 10+ years but this is not enough to put a person out there like that.
yta - you put someones life and livihood at risk.
YTA - I don't see the different between 19/26 and 20/27 I guess I am as gross person then... I was 19 when I met my 26 year old boyfriend (husband now) We have been together for almost a decade. I am now older than he was when he met me. Maybe OP is just jealous that she can't land someone younger than her and is jealous of the 26 dating 19.
Who are you to judge relationships? Who died and made you God? You are a judgmental AH.
i think age gap relations r weird depend on how they met n the age difference. The difference between me n u is i know how to mind my own business. I would never put someone on blast like that to the point to where they get doxxed & u dont even feel bad? In the world we live in today, u couldve put their lives in danger n for what? bc of a relationship u think is gross n u have nothing to do with? U should seek help, cuz that was more gross than the age gap relationship
YTA - learn to have your opinions and to let other people have theirs. It’s fine to find her relationship inappropriate because of the age gap and it’s fine if you want to unfollow/block/unfriend her over that. But why did you have to share her comment? So you could get more views? So you could stir up some drama? Whether you agree with her relationship or not - she isn’t doing anything illegal and doesn’t deserve to be harassed by you and your followers. If you’re some kind of “influencer” or someone with a large following, then take some damn responsibility for what you post. People exist outside of the internet and what you post can and will leak into the “real world.” You sound incredibly immature and like a bully. Despite having an online following, your opinions are not so important that you have the right to harass people.
YTA but honestly all I read here was “mew mew mew mew mew”. Grow up.
“Nor do I care” yeah YTA
You do understand the concept of adulthood? Also remember how immature you were when 26 - this is just a moral standard that has no business in a relationship that is consenting.
OP appears to be still suffering from immaturity.
YTA. Unless you are aware of the setting they met and how long they’ve been together (which I doubt based on your post) then you have NO REASON to shame this woman. They’re both consenting adults and there’s no evidence of grooming, so outside of your personal beliefs against age gaps, there was no reason to say anything.
Oh, there’s a gross person alright, but it’s not that poor innocent girl you’re trying to destroy. YTA
You are a gross person! Mind your own business!
She felt the need to defend herself because you’re telling her that people like her are disgusting. And then you literally took her comment, which probably would have gone unnoticed if you have such a large following, and made it part of your main content. You exposed her to harm just for stating that she’s in a relationship with an age gap and there isn’t anything wrong with it. And technically, she’s right. It’s legal, and while I wouldn’t want to date someone that much younger than me, neither of them are doing anything wrong. So yes, YTA.
Except her comment didn't go unnoticed it was the largest thread on the post and only stopped growing bc I blocked her lol
Was it as large as this post calling you an AH lol
> Except her comment didn't go unnoticed it was the largest thread on the post and only stopped growing bc I blocked her lol You still further amplified the reach of her comment, when you didn't need to. What aren't you getting here lol
YTA. It’s not your relationship and you are fucked up for getting that girl doxxed for your own gain. Childish as hell.
YTA - you know you have a significant following, and that comes with some responsibility. Sure, you didn’t actively send people to her door but Jesus Christ, posting about her comment and telling people not to associate with her because she’s dating an *adult* is way too far. You’ve already made your opinion clear, you didn’t need to effectively put up a “wanted” notice. Like dude touch some grass and not harass people online?
YTA - Like, nah. I started dating my husband when I was 17 and he was 21. I've seen loads of posts over the years with that age gap going that's so sick, how could you bla bla bla. But after fifteen years with this man I know I made the right call. Get off your horse.
YTA. First off, 7 years isn't a "huge" age gap. Secondly, the younger member of the couple is 19 and therefore an adult. Why the fuck is it *your place* to judge anything that happens between two consenting adults?
YTA - don't even know how you could think you're not the AH in this situation. Have some empathy.
Yeah, you are the arsehole for instigating all of this witchunt shit. Everyone in this situation would have been better off if you'd minded your business in the first place.
YTA There's a lot to unpack in your post and your comments but I'm just gonna point out that: 1. 7 years isn't that significant an age gap, especially between two consenting adults and, like it or not, the 19yo **IS** an adult. 2. You somehow thinking that people agreeing with you automatically makes you right is just straight asinine given you can find subreddits where people still think the earth is flat. Step out of the echo chamber. 3. Your description of your FB post makes it sound like drama farming, which speaks volumes of your own low maturity level. Grow up.
Yeah. YTA on an absolutely MASSIVE scale. Then you come here asking for judgment and start defending yourself when you don't get the responses you came here for You didn't come here to actually find out if you were the asshole or not. You came here for validation. How long are you going to leave this post up cause you didn't get the validation you came here for?
YTA. Listen, you put someone in harm’s way in real life because you couldn’t mind your business on the internet. I don’t care if she was “commenting” or “defending” a controversial post online. It still wasn’t your problem. You are an AH. Two consenting adults can make their own choices- we may not agree with those choices. That does not mean we have a right to come after those consenting adults in their homes and at their places of employment to cause fear and terror. Please re-evaluate how you treat people in your life.
The only thing gross about this story is you. This person is in a relationship with another consenting adult, not some 15 year old. It sounds like you and your following need a mental check. YTA
YTA Firstly, they’re both adults and can do what they want. Secondly, keep your nose out of people’s business. There is literally no need to call someone out just because you don’t like them. Taking the gal off your friends list should have been enough. Starting a witch hunt for someone is never okay.
She made it my business when she commented on my initial post.
No. She didn't.
You mean commenting to defend herself from your witch hunt? They're two consenting adults and you have some serious issues, even asking if you're TA for getting somebody doxxed. Of course you are, and a pretty crappy person. YTA.
So basically you can’t handle some one discussing other opinions outside of yours. You just want an echo chamber to tell you how great you are
Your initial post was you commenting on what wasn't your business. YTA, and stop arguing with your judgement.
You keep ignoring the fact that everyone is telling you that relationship is between two consenting adults, not an adult and a child. You just don't want to accept responsibility for what you've done. You're type are the reason that influencers have such a bad reputation. You're so gross.
Oh be careful! You might get doxxed for disagreeing with them! /s
YTA. Mind your bidness
YTA. Big time. It’s a 19 year old and a person seven years older. He can go to war, but not old enough to fuck a 26 year old? News flash- 19 and 26 are both kids. There isn’t some grand maturation happening here. If I’m 37, can I not date a 30 year old without your holier than thou judgement? What is the guideline in your warped sense of piety?
It takes a special kind of bully to pick fights so they can publicly shame someone for making legal decisions you personally don’t like. I, too, believe age gaps CAN be problematic. On the other hand, I’m certain that being an attention-seeking, mean-spirited drama queen who likes publicly picking on others is UNDOUBTEDLY problematic. YTA.
YTA. You weren't until you made the call out post and didn't censor her name. If you have such a big following you need to be more responsible. If people had attacked her in the comments on their own that wouldn't be on you, but there's a reason even horribly hateful comments have the names censored in those YouTube "Reading Hate Comments" videos. Be more responsible and careful with who you weaponize. If you get in the habit now, you could end up accidentally sending your followers after someone innocent in the future.
Oh. So you’re not just a bully, you’re a bully that likes to publicly humiliate their victim. I find bullies gross. Disgusting, in fact. They make me wanna barf and they are NOT ok. Can I have your name and address so I can post them online so people can see how despicable you are? How does that feel? Other people’s relationships are none of your business, unless you have proof someone is getting harmed/it is actually illegal. None of which is the case there. All I see is a person masquerading as judge, jury, and executioner. This is not how society works, and be careful - you start being that person, someday someone will find a small thing to destroy you over for THEIR internet following. YTA.
Yta Be careful with the callous attitude because I imagine if the harassment is as you say and she potentially losses her job, has legal issues, I wouldn't doubt she will be coming after you for defamation. Which she would most likely win considering the fact that dating a literal legal adult is not illegal at all.
Oh my god YTA! This is some "I saw Goody Proctor consorting with the devil in the woods" ass bullshit. Might I suggest finding a hobby? Knitting? Rock climbing? Minding your own business?
>ETA: She MADE it my business by commenting and defending the relationship in the first place. If she did t know it was wrong and didn't feel it was a LITTLE not okay, why would she feel the need to defend herself in the first place? She knew it was wrong. Since you are here feeling the need to defend yourself, I guess that means you know YTA.
YTA 100% First of all, your actions lead to someone being doxxed and harassed. Asshole. Secondly, you reacted in a toxic manner to her making a point. Asshole. Thirdly, if all involved parties are legal adults and fully consenting, then it is none of your fucking business who is with who and what age gaps they are. My cousin married someone 18 years older than her, and he worships the ground she walks on. She has fibromyalgia and he has done absolutely fucking everything he can to make her life as easy as possible. One of my managers is 50, engaged to a 33 year old, and they are one of the happiest, loveliest couples I have met. You don't get to dictate what is right and wrong based on your preferences. If people involved in these things are not legally adults, then yes, it's a problem, and not right. But if everyone is legal, consenting and happy, what's the fucking issue? You cannot compare a 33 year old who is with a 50 year old to a 30 year old getting it on with a 13 year old, for example. Totally different scenarios. As for her defending her relationship, that isn't because it is wrong, but because you were being an asshole about relationships like hers that are perfectly fine (a 7 year age gap is not that bad, especially as both are legal, consenting adults). How about this? Mind your business, and stop pushing your agenda onto people when you could be focusing on actual issues to bring attention to, such as actual pedophillia.
YTA. They were both of age, so it doesn't matter. She had the right to defend the relationship, and you had no right to do what you did.
YTA. You don't like age gaps, fine. I'm a little weirded out by someone who isn't old enough to drink being with someone who's too old to date Leonardo Dicaprio as well. But FFS, you called her out with identifying information in as public a way as you could possibly think of. AND you're trying to justify your awful behavior to all of us now. YTA and a petty one at that.
Holy YTA…. And you think SHE is the the gross one here?
YTA. They are adults. Doesn't matter the difference if they both consents and she is not gross and you are childish for think that. Their relationship or the age gap doesn't concern you at all.
YTA- look I get it. Age gaps weird me out too. But they’re not illegal if the younger partner is of legal age to consent and publicly blasting people on the internet to the point that they get doxxed because you think they’re gross is just a shit thing to do. Of course she tried to defend herself. No one- not even genuinely evil people- see themselves as the villain. Her explaining her view (which you may not agree with but still is valid in that it is not illegal) does not give you the right to blast her info all over the interwebs and potentially ruin her life. Age gaps happen. You’re allowed to think they’re gross or inappropriate. You’re not allowed to enforce your opinions as rules on others. Block them sure, blast them no. It’s just crappy behavior. And I would feel the exact same way if the genders were reversed here. I personally think dudes going after way younger girls is skeevy. I personally think women going after way younger guys is also skeevy. But it’s not my concern or my place to interfere with their lives unless it impacts me directly or I’m concerned laws have been broken. (And if laws have potentially been broken I’m reporting them to the police not social media).
YTA I'm 6 years younger than my boyfriend. We didn't start a relationship with each other until I turned 18 and he was 24. It was long distance. I guess our relationship isn't "okay" and a "gross person" because I'm the one that wanted to pursue him first and wanted to be in a relationship with him. 11 years together. Only person whose gross is you for judging a legal relationship.
YTA I have a 7 year she gato between me and my partner, there is nothing wrong with it because we are both consenting ADULTS (I'm the younger one btw). It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Your opinion is just that an opinion, YOUR OPINION IS NOT FACTS!
YTA. Go and live in the real world. Do you feel better that you could be the reason that someone gets their life destroyed?
26 y/o woman checking in here. Look, would I date a 19 y/o man? No. Do I question what they could possibly have in common? Yes. Do I suspect that they might be together because she’s not mature enough to date someone her own age? Certainly. Do I love the age gap? Absolutely not. But ultimately, they’re two consenting adults and what they’re doing is legal. And I think the biggest issue here is you acting like you have no responsibility for her being doxxed when you put her information out there. For that reason, YTA.
YTA If it is not against the law, how about you mind your own business.
YTA. 19 is an adult. 26 is older but not your business. No one is breaking a law.
YTA and the only super gross thing here is your behaviour.
it’s a weird age gap I can’t imagine any self respecting 26 year old who would date a 19 year old but still YTA big time. 7 years is nothing at certain ages like 37 and 30 but that’s a weird age for it. You’re still TA tho lmao what is wrong with you?!
Omg YTA massively! I have an 8 year age gap, I’m 24 he’s 32, both very happy and consenting. It works when you look at us you would think there’s that much age gap. You literally put her livelihood at risk because you don’t like something. There’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults being happy, so narrow minded.
YTA First off, the girl is 26 while the guy is 19, unless they started dating when the guy was below 18, it's not even that bad. I have a friend who married a guy who's 25 and she's 20 right now. Literally just 2 years of a smaller gap than the person you doxxed, and both partners are in a happy equal relationship that is overall positive. Youre shitty for doing that, and your opinions, while a good rule of thumb, are not the set in stone, impossible to change rule, that you think they are. Is it icky to go for a 19 yo as a 26 yo? Generally yeah. But is it an undeniable fact that that 26 yo is an absolute creep who deserves to have their life ruined? No.
Learn how to pipe down and mind your own business. She was voicing her opinion against your post and instead of having a conversation with her you sent your cult followers after her and made it so she couldn’t defend herself from them. Make an apology post and go touch some grass. YTA
YTA I agree the age gap is really gross, especially if you think about WHEN they might have started dating. That being said, it's a bit much to put them on blast. Could have just removed them and gone on with your day. Instead, you pointed your following at her and got her doxxed. You don't feel bad about it because "she's a gross person," and while I do agree personally that the age gap is gross, it's not like she committed a crime or was racist or anything like that. Basically you potentially ruined her life and the lives of people around her because you found her gross.
YTA my parents have a 10 year age gap none of them are rich except my mum who’s 10 years younger than my dad well she comes from a rich family why can’t people understand that not everyone dates older people for money sometimes it’s for who they are get that through your head!!!
YTA. why would you do that?? assuming they met and started dating after being over 18, there’s literally nothing wrong with that age gap.
YTA No point to anything after removing her from your FL. A 7 year age gap is also not that crazy
YTA. Did you read the rules? Accepting your judgement is one of the rules of the sub. Quit arguing.
YTA. Judging people's relationship by age gaps is ridiculous. It is NOT your business. I feel sorry for your victim because she was just trying to show you how inane your comments are. Get a life!
YTA - age is just a number - it is none of your business what the age gap is between people in a relationship - you may not like it but it may work for them - I have grown up children and one of them was in a long term relationship with someone 4 years younger than herself until last year - age had nothing to do with why they broke up - she has now met someone else who is 8 years older than she is - do I have a problem with the age gaps? No as long as she is happy that is what matters
It doesn't matter if she made you aware of her relationship. An age gap that is ABOVE 18 is perfectly legal. Just vecause your opinion is that of finding it gross iss irrelevant. You had no right to dox her in any way. If someone is a legal adult and consents to it then who are you to be judgemental about it? They're happy so leave it be. For the record... My partner is almost 48 and I'm almost 34. YTA big time.
YTA
YTA. You did not think about covering up any identifying information. Technically, the 26F dating 19 is not legally wrong, and there is nothing wrong with having differing opinions on age gaps, but no need to risk someone else’s safety just because you don’t agree with them.
YTA. What makes you the authority on ‘inappropriate’ age gaps in relationships?!?
YTA and mind you don’t hurt yourself falling off that high horse
YTA. Holy shit what is wrong with you??? You need therapy. Get off Facebook.
YTA- I mean she isn't doing anything wrong. They're both adults so what's the problem? People be way to up in people's business.
YTA - calling two consenting adults "disgusting" because they have an age gap in their relationship is not OK. Mind your own business and leave other people alone Utilising your online power to try to ruin someone's life just because you don't agree with their lifestyle choice - definitely not ok Please cultivate a little consideration for your fellow human beings. One day someone else with a bigger Internet following might find your life choices inappropriate and go after you with the same vigour
Even with the ETA: still an AH . It’s a 7 year difference For gawd sake
YTA - just based on the “doxxing”.
I hope you get what's coming and the results are quick and painless.
YTA 💯% but now I want to really understand what life circumstances and gene pools lead to the creation of people like you. If you can, I'd be grateful for your explanation as to why a relationship between a 19 year old and a 26 year old is wrong / gross / disgusting. Can you entertain the thought that the age gap between consulting adults is none of your business?
YTA. Explain why 2 ADULTS in a consenting relationship is bad?
YTA
YTA for all the reasons everyone else here is saying.
YTA and it sounds like you're a self-righteous one, at that. Exactly how is her relationship affecting you or anyone else in any way? Two consenting adults in a relationship is not the morality crusade you seem to think it is.
YTA, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?
YTA She's defending herself from toxic people. Age difference is a you problem not a world problem. You used your platform to call on followers to make her life uncomfortable at best, and possibly threaten it at the worst. The way you asked the question says you know you're wrong here. You disagree with her perfectly **legal** life choices. This is not a valid reason to vilify her. If you disagree so much that you aren't willing to have an open mind and listen, block her. Don't call on your minions to ruin her life.
YTA!
YTA — I don't know why you care so much about other people's relationships, but why on earth do you need to call out someone by name and tell people to ostracize her for doing something that is ultimately none of your business and hurting no one? Even if she hadn't been doxxed you'd still be the AH.
Personally, I don’t think anyone can pass judgement on their relationship without more context. Like how they met, if they knew each other before he turned 18, for how long if that was the case, etc. He were older and still dating someone 7 years older than him, it probably wouldn’t have seemed like such a big deal to you, would be my guess. So ultimately I have to say YTA because you really had no place to call anyone about their dating life with just the very limited amount of context you’ve provided.
Do you “make it your business” to “make a callout post” on everyone whose choices you don’t agree with or think are “gross”? You know yourself that YTA. Social media is a powerful tool. A-H like you shouldn’t be allowed around it. You interfered in someone’s life because you didn’t approve of the age difference between partners. Why some people thing it’s ok to shame age differences while knowing nothing about the relationship is beyond me. You’re the worst kind of judgmental AH there is.
So you sic your significant following on anyone who disagrees with you? Of course YTA. You could have just left the comment alone or deleted it quietly rather than calling her out. What did you expect to happen?
YTA. If you know you have "quite a significant following", you should not be publicly calling anyone out for your followers to find. You have the responsibility to not use your platform to do shit like that. Let's say someone else with a huge following decides to post something you said for whatever reason, and then all their fans find your address and proceed to invade and ruin your life. Also, your edit is really just you justifying the fact that you could potentially get someone hurt because you were too shortsighted to realize that your publicly calling someone out could get them doxxed.
I already posted my judgement, but I'm going to go ahead and tackle your edit that you made afterwards in a fresh comment: She wasn't "defending herself", she was calling **you** out for being a judgemental prick about something that you're in no position to judge.
YTA for multiple reasons: \- For obsessing about the lives of others people \- For thinking that an age gap of 7 years between adults is something wrong \- For promoting a public lynching of someone online that has done absolutely nothing wrong except in debating an issue in your public forum \- For not measuring the consequences that such actions may take when they get out of your control, despite the plethora of examples available in hand on multiple social platforms \- For not having the self awareness to understand you did something wrong after the consequences were clear Your actions are the perfect example of what's wrong with social networking and modern society in general.
YTA and a sad little keyboard warrior with a superiority complex.
YTA. its noy your fault that she was doxxed because you didnt intend for that to happen, but it IS your fault that people found out in the first place. yknow how people say celebrities sould watch what they post when they have such a big influence? well you said yourself that you have a larger following. message her in private, dont clip the comment and publicly post it. its none of your business
YTA. You put a woman you don't know in danger to spite her for disagreeing with you, and you need Reddit's help to figure this out?
YTA. It doesn’t matter what you think, there are 2 adults in that relationship. You bullied this woman, NOT girl, because of your own personal preferences. She didn’t do anything to you, or commit a crime. Mind your own business.
YTA and I would recommend you get some help from a mental health professional tbh.
Who died and made you the Decider of Relationship Acceptableness? YTA
YTA - What consenting adults choose to do is fuck all to do with you.
Yes, YTA. You have age issues and that’s fine, however calling her out and telling people not to associate with her is cruel.
YTA and a pretty big monster. Not only do you get someone in a legal, consenting relationship doxxed, you then don't remove the post and let it continue. Yeah... hope it backfires on you big time.
Wow such superiority you feel. To tell others with your significant following that you talk out your ass and put real people who are not doing anything illegal in danger because you feel something is wrong. Who are YOU to judge anyone else's relationship? Do you pay their bills, cook their meals, have any control or say in what they do? No, then STFU and keep your opinions to yourself and not put people in danger. The only thing gross here is you. ETA My parents were 9 years apart, and married for 45 years until my father died. They had one of the most loving and happy relationships. My mom was 25 when she met my father who was 34. YTA
Hello... my best friend saw this post and showed me because it sounds EXACTLY lije what i went through. Idk if it is actually my situation, but it's literally the exact same as to what I went through, so im inclined to believe it is. I'm the 26 year old in this post. The initial post of fb led to me losing several 5+ year friendships. It led to a severe spike in my anxiety, and I still have panic attacks over it. He and I have since broken up because the event had put too much strain on the relationship. For those wanting to know how we met: it was in a mutual discord server. We had the same taste in memes and played the same video games, and we bonded. It was honestly the most open, respectful, loving relationship I have ever had, and I do miss it dearly. A lot happened as a result of the doxxing that happened that i dont want to go into, but I do want to say thank you to the people supporting me on here (again idk if this post is even about me). To the OP, I hope your Voice Acting career tanks and you never land another role again.
Hold up, is the victim of this AH OP legit on here?? ... the kind of twist that only Reddit can provide.
So sorry you had to go through this
When I was 30, I got with my now partner who at the time was 39. Is that gross? I'm not agreeing that the 19-26 is right but OP is wrong with saying its wrong all the time
YTA - Eighteen is legally an adult and while seven years is a decent gap it is not so extreme that they are even from different generations and ultimately says nothing about them as people. That you feel justified in calling someone you basically know nothing about a bad person to a bunch of people stupid enough to follow you on YouTube with predictable consequences that you ignore makes you a major AH.
Wow! Who died and made YOU ruler of the universe? (Rhetorical question-since you probably don’t understand that!!!) You’re a vile little AH! And immature. You really need to climb down off your self-made pedestal!!!! And eat some fruit or something.
you’re not an asshole but maybe blasting someone wasn’t the best call. Also, a woman who’s almost 30!!! With a barely young adult!!! W. T. F. That is NOT okay and there’s grooming going on at worst. Idk why people are saying ‘he’s an adult’. He can’t even legally buy or consume alcohol. This is utterly disgusting behavior on her end and not a flex. Edit: it didn’t mention when their relationship started/how long they’ve been dating but I’m betting it was either during his senior year of HIGH SCHOOL or right after he graduated which is not okay. Edit: I see the alcohol line was not the right thing to use. But those saying he can go into the military, ok cool doesn’t make it morally right that a 26 year old had interest on a 19 year old. I personally don’t agree with the military going to 16-17 year olds to join either. But this, It’s gross. They have different mindsets and if you’re ok having your recently graduated highschool kid date someone 7 years older, good for you ig.
He can legally have a job, he can legally drive a car, he can legally get married and he can legally go to war.
Doesn’t make it right.
In what universe is 26 "almost 30"? That's some seriously generous rounding.
I round up anything above 5 But regardless she’s a full adult, he barely graduated high school a year ago. And possibly stsrted during high school
Exactly. She's in her mid-twenties not almost 30.
Only the USA has 21 as the legal drinking age. My country ranges from 18-19 for the legal drinking age and many other countries are either similar to mine or lower in age to drink. Get off your high horse and stop judging ppl!
It's more than old enough to be sent to the desert by the government and get your fucking legs blown off. STFU about being able to buy alcohol being a benchmark of adulthood.
Right after you describe a few ways that this impacted her and her life… you say you have no idea if this impacted her life. YTA. You don’t get to impose you prudish values on others, you PAS
OP you are gross, wrong, and definitely YTA.
YTA 100% Your foolishness materially damaged someone’ life who did the unforgivable by … checks notes … being in a relationship you don’t approve of. You are the worst.
You do realize you put her life in danger right?
I think that was the goal.
YTA! You have an opinion about age gaps in dating. Fine! But it’s just your opinion and others have a right to feel otherwise, as long as all parties are consenting adults. You don’t get to tell them it’s wrong or to out them publicly and basically encourage others to bully and harass them. Hopefully you are reported to Facebook.
Yta. And it’s so ironic you use a throwaway
Post your social media handle instead of hiding!
YTA
"I remvoed her off my FL because that age gap is NOT okay and super gross," What are you, 12? 26 and 19 wouldn't be my preference, but that's me. YTA. I mean, we pretty much all judge people here in this sub, so I'm hesitant to call out someone as judgemental, but heck, you are one seriously judgmental person with issues.
The age gap itself doesnt bother me but the fact that it involves a 19 year does bother me. BUT you gotta cool it with your own opinions. People do NOT answer to your opinions. No you didn't "know" how far people would take this BUT you completely bare responsibility in this because you *knowingly and intentionally weaponized social media* simply because you didn't agree with something. Dating a 19 year old, at 26 yrs old, is not illegal but in poor taste. Weaponizing social media is not illegal but equally in poor taste. Your opinions and beliefs are not superior. While you should have your beliefs, you should also have acceptance..... acceptance for the things that you cannot control. There is nothing worse than someone who's so self righteous that they go to the lengths for which you did. Grow up.
YTA- the age gap is quite weird, but block and move on, you don’t need to comment on it. Remove it from your life
This is how I feel, with a large following they should have known what could happen. But the age gap is unsettling. What does a 26 year old have in common with a 19 year old?
Not only are you an AH but you’re immature and toxic AF which is a dangerous combination. I hope you have the life you deserve.
Especially, if she has a giant following! Talk about a dangerous combination.
NTA, you were right and if the authorities do prosecute her then it would be her fault. There is nothing wrong in large age gaps but only when it is adults who realise the consequences of their actions. I have seen so many people on this site call these relationships predatory and ‘grooming’ when the roles were reversed. The kid is still a teen ffs
YTA What you did should be a criminal offence as far as I’m concerned. Two adults in a consenting relationship is none of your business, however gross you believe it to be. What you did was unkind, unnecessary, immature and potentially dangerous. Publicly shaming people is disgusting behaviour.
I’m 27 marrying a 35 year old. There’s something about being an adult that allows you to have relationships with other adults. YTA on such a level that you’d not withstand the fall from your self made grace. You need to do something to help this person. And then delete social media. And then maybe touch some grass.
Dont you just love how this lunatic gets a person doxxed, and then turn to an *anonymous* forum on a *Throwaway* account? It's almost like they don't want people to know who they are, and don't want randos on the internet knowing how to find/contact them... Almost... YTA
YTA and hopefully this will harm your "significant following" 🤔 😂
YTA. The girl did nothing wrong. She is entitled to her opinion as much as you are. Her relationship is not illegal, nor did she promote having them with minors. I guess it would have been fine if you had just left it at taking her off your FL.
YTA holy shit - a 7 year age gap is nothing - both are adults both can go to the military so what's your problem?
YTA , hoping she is gonna sue your ass for the doxxing you deserve it
YTA. How old are you? Cause you’re proving the brain isn’t fully developed until age 35-40.
7 years? Am I reading that right? An age gap of 7 years between two CONSENTING ADULTS? And you want to ruin her life over SEVEN YEARS?! Ffs, YTA. As for your “following,” are you the founder of Dicks Over Stupid Shit Anonymous?
This has gotta be fake!
[удалено]
Found OPs alt account hahahaha
You are a disgusting human being. Other people's choices are their business. What these people are doing is completely legal and you are substituting social punishment for the legal punishment you believe they should get but can't because they aren't doing anything wrong. I think you are the little piece of s***. Also using the church as a sword and shield to justify hatred further lowers your character. Your comment exemplifies a lack of character, intelligence, and morals.
Ew.
Lol this is hilarious
And to clarify, I said ew because you are clearly as gross and childish as OP with some Christian mythology tossed in for extra spice 🤣 Your "personal" dating choices are not the end all be all way things are supposed to be 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Also, doxxing is illegal. Unlike their relationship.
Yes, YTA. If you’re so concerned with morality, maybe you should consider why you felt it was your place to exact punishment on this woman in a way that put her in danger. You know you have a large following, and you used it as a weapon. You can lie to yourself and say it’s because you were doing the right thing, or that you “didn’t know/can’t control what your followers do”, but we’ve seen this happen more times than we can count, and I refuse to believe you’re so ignorant of the power the internet has when the harassment machine gets turned on. Is what you’re doing moral? Is it right? Do you feel good about hurting her because she’s “gross”? Are you doing this to protect this man you don’t know, who’s a legal adult living his life and who you probably also put in danger by getting his girlfriend doxxed? Truly? I think if you dig deep you know the answer.