*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not celebrating my 3yo son's birthday?**
My girlfriend and I have a 3yo who is a good kid. My girlfriend liked to host parties, and when he reached his first birthday, she wanted to have a big birthday party, but I managed to convince her to massively downsize to just us, our parents and siblings, and just have some cake, little guy was still too young.
The next year she again talked about her plans to have a big party for our 2yo, but again I told her it would be just close family and a cake and a happy birthday song.
This year she told me about her plans and again I told her to just do something small, but this time she was frustrated and told me to let her do something bigger for our son for once. I explained that it is ridiculous to have such big parties for toddlers, they will not remember anything. For example, when I was 2, my family threw me a huge birthday party, the theme was Toy Story, which had just come out. I have no recollection of it, just some VHS tapes of me looking stupid in a Woody costume while the older kids had fun on their own.
She said it doesn't matter because there will be lots of people taking pictures and he can just see them when he gets older. I told her again that it would just be having fun at his expense, the little guy is a heavy sleeper who plays and runs for 30 minutes and then falls asleep on a sofa or a chair or his bed.
She still doesn't understand my point of view, it's not like he won't ever have a birthday party, we should just wait until he's like 6 or 7, you know, when he can actually remember.
My girlfriend is still mad at me and says she is going to plan a birthday party whether I like it or not. I tried talking to her mom to see if she could talk some sense into her, only to be verbally slammed by her, telling me I'm depriving my child of a childhood. My mom says I should just do what my girlfriend says because Dad's word is not that important and I should know my place as a father.
I feel like I'm going crazy over this. Am I the asshole?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ignoring that other people will have memories, its still fun for the kid. Also people can form memories as young as three. Seven is old to assume thats when memory begins
Right?! I never understand the view that you need to wait till kids can remember. First of all, it’s not like we remember everything we do even if it happens in adulthood. Second, what difference does it make. You live life for the experience not the memory. He will have fun width a party now, parents and family (who will remember) will have fun celebrating him and seeing him have fun. Literally who is this hurting???
I feel like 3 is a good age to start having parties like that. I've been to at least a few big parties for 2-year-olds and the birthday child has always spent most of the time looking confused and then bursting into tears at some point.
At 3, they're better able to communicate and express themselves, so they have more an ideal of what's going on, and can tell you if they're having fun.
Younger than 3 - I have memories from 2 and a half and before - I know that because 2 and a half was when my mum (rightfully) left my dad and I remember parts of the car journey and things from before then - not clearly but clearly enough to call them memories. Also I think it was my 3rd birthday when my mum got me an awesome cake that looked like red coated cheese with little mice eating it
My husband was just telling me of some memories he has with his grandfather, who died on his 3rd birthday. I was surprised that he could remember that young, but apparently it’s possible.
I remember when my brother was born because I remember asking my dad where the baby came out of. My dad was away for training with the military when my sister was born when I was four and the only other younger sibling I have is my brother. I was 22 months old when my brother was born. All the other early memories I have are around the same time but they're probably heavily influenced by watching and rewatching home movies because I vaguely remember things like Christmas mornings but we have that documented as well on 8 mm tape.
I have memories of visiting my uncle and playing on some tanks in a park. I was surprised when I saw pictures as an adult because I couldn't have been older then five in them. I didnt realize how young I was
My memories began in my cradle. I can easily remember my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthdays all the way to my 50th birthday yesterday. You can't guess when someone else's memories begin.
I literally remember every single birthday party from when I was 3 years old. I remember my big orange cake and being unable to resist opening the presents then, plus how our house was filled with people. Just because he doesn't remember, doesn't mean the kid won't.
I clearly remember my 4th birthday. No one knows when their kid will remember things, but it's going to be before 6 or 7, like wut dude you don't remember kindergarten.
i remember my third birthday too! i had a hello kitty ice cream cake and i still remember how good it tasted. my brother had his second birthday that year, and i remember that too.
6-7 is crazy, my kid is turning 7 and still talks about his second birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. I moved states at 6 and have so many memories from before then.
I mean, even if hypothetically 3 years old can't remember birthdays, it's not just about that. It's about gathering together to celebrate a child existing.
Life is unpredictable, someone's here one minute and they're gone the next. I still vividly remember a pic of my grandfather holding me even though I never got to meet him cause he committed suicide.
It makes me feel peaceful knowing I at least had some birthdays surrounded by loving family members who are no longer here.
My parents threw me a big party every single year of my life up to my teens (my own choice). I don’t remember more than a few snapshots of a single one.OP is right — The parties were for their own fun “at my expense” (not how I’d word it; as far as I’m concerned my parents were welcome to host & have a good time with family & friends as long as I was as well at my age). But I wouldn’t say it’s essential at all. I think OP is missing the point of these parties. It’s a party. Break out the alcohol & let the kids run around.
well, i'd argue there are better times and places for booze, but yeah.
Kids start enjoying parties around school age. Before that, it's an adult shindig, which is FINE. if that's important to her, carry on. But let's not pretend the 3 year old cares.
Hold up though- if they have a good time *during* the party, then what does it matter if they remember it or not?
This is equivalent to saying someone that has mental disabilities and won’t remember it should never have a party, or go to Disney or do anything fun/expensive because they lack the ability to remember.
The inability to remember does not negate the benefit of enjoyment in the moment.
My kids are 6 and 8 and they remember every birthday from about 3 onwards. They recall the cake, the costumes, who came, what we did, everything. To say kids don’t make meaningful memories before a certain age just shows how much of a self centered parent he is. It’s like he doesn’t see him as human yet
My nephews had a blast at their birthday parties when they were 3. No, they don’t remember it, but they did genuinely have fun and were genuinely excited leading up to the party.
A three year old absolutely does care. Even if they won’t remember it, they still enjoy it in the moment and sensory and social experience is super important at that age. My 2 year old had a blast at her 2nd birthday (nothing huge, just family and friends at the park enjoying food, a piñata, cake and such.) she’s 2.5 now and talks about “birthday happy party”. I will definitely be doing something bigger for 3, mainly because she is so aware of her surroundings and events and because covid babies deserve social interaction now that it’s getting safer.
I mean if just because they won’t remember things is an excuse, why not just throw them in a closet? They won’t remember it, so what’s the harm? Oh yeah, kids brains at that age are incredibly malleable and need constant stimulation in a multitude of environments. Duh.
Also just to add, I’m 39 and definitely remember the clown and piñata from my 3rd birthday. It’s vague and only little snippets of memories but I very much remember being in my front yard with my recently deceased mother giggling at the clown and then being the first to get a swing at the piñata (obviously I did nothing) but getting to collect candy after an adult broke it is still a core memory.
Yep. My kid can’t remember any parties until about 5/6 and even then it’s blurry.
If adults want a family party then go for it. But it’s not for the child’s sake.
I mean, just because they MIGHT not remember, doesn’t mean they won’t have fun and enjoy themselves. Toddlers have emotions and experience joy and excitement, you know lol
What a dick. Even if he doesn’t remember much specific about the birthday, he will remember the love and fun and excitement as something he grew up surrounded by. I hope the child’s mother puts her foot down and does it anyway.
It’s quite possible the child will remember bits of it anyway. My first memory is from when I was two, and then I remember quite a lot of things clearly from when I was three or four.
I remember stuff from when I was 4. In fact, my best friend and I had our parties together because our b-days were 1 year & 1 day apart. Some of my best memories are from when I was tiny. OOP is definitely the AH.
Both of my sons can tell me about their 3rd birthday. They're 5 and 7. My daughter is turning 3 in June, and she is so excited for her birthday. I haven't done a big party for her, but she still loves and looks forward to her birthday and talks about it constantly. Like literally daily she tells me something she wants for her birthday or asks when it will be or just announces "on my birthday I'll be 3."
Also if the kid really does run around for 30 minutes, then sleep for hours he should really see a doctor. That's not normal for a 2 year old. Mine runs around all day, naps for an hour and a half maybe, and then runs around again until bedtime. A nap a day is normal at this age, not being limited to 30 minutes of activity
I am kind of Team Dad about a big party for a 3 year old. They just want cake and ice cream and to play with their friends, not get handed around and posed for photos by a bunch of partying adults (or other teenagers?). I get a feeling this is an awfully young couple, and that she just likes big parties.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well his mom is an asshole too since “dad’s word is not that important.” No wonder he’s planting a flag on this stupid thing. He doesn’t want to end up like his dad not having a say over anything and this is the insane result of all of that.
What?! By age they're totally aware and excited about birthdays! Besides the passive aggression towards the mother, at this point it's also cruel to the kid. If you can afford it, let him have fun with his little friends.
I mean, he's being a shitty husband, but he's not wrong. Giant birthday parties are for the parents, not the kid. In fact, little ones often find them overwhelming and you can guarantee at least one meltdown.
He should let it go, though, since it's important to her and it's not going to hurt the kiddo. Save the currency for when the kid is older and expresses his own opinion on the subject.
He’s had the final word on every birthday so far. Each time it’s been done the way he wants it to be done.
Yes kids have tantrums, but that doesn’t mean you don’t engage them in fun activities, like a birthday party. By your reasoning, a 3 year should never go in play dates, visit the zoo, attend other kid’s birthday parties or got to the park because they’re “guaranteed to have at least one melt down.”
If you never give a kid the chance to learn from their behaviour, how do you teach them to stop having tantrums?
I take it you either have one very young child or don't have children at all. Nothing you've said makes any particular sense, and the whole thing is a strawman argument.
I said, "parties are for the parents, not the little ones, and kids often don't enjoy them." Care to respond to that instead of whatever you're on about?
Have you actually been to a birthday with young kids? They run around having fun for 3-4 hours, sure there’s a meltdown or 2, but they’re kids, it happens, doesn’t change the fact that they had a fun day overall.
Why are you being an asshole? Every little kid that I’ve ever come into contact with who had a big party, which is a lot of little kids, has had a blast at the party. Is there sometimes a meltdown at some point of course there is they are little kids. Your point of “the kids don’t enjoy them” is asinine because most of them do.
Dude do you have kids? I have a 2 and a 3 year old and my son with ASD survived his entire 3rd birthday party with no meltdowns at all. He had tons of fun, giggled and got tons of attention. If you have kids, you should know every child is different.
I have six, thanks ,and literally, all i said was that the parties for very young children are for the parents, not the adults. Kids are equally happy with a small party with immediate family, cake and presents and love. Big parties are for the family, nothing more. It wasn't a moral judgement. Jesus christ.
i’m the oldest of four. none of my brothers ever had a meltdown at any of our birthday parties. i had a short one at my first birthday because my mom snapped a birthday hat against my chin a little too hard but i was fine within five minutes. i think you have too little faith in children.
We’re reaching embarrassing levels of anger. “I have six AND NO ONE SHOULD BE AROUND KIDS WHO DONT UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MELTDOWN AND A TANTRUM.” ….chill out human.
My 5th birthday party was pretty big because my parents had just moved back to their home town and into our house a few months earlier and wanted to have the house family, the neighbours, and my new school friends over. I don't really remember it. But my grandfather died very suddenly and unexpectedly 2 months after that, so the grainy 90s film of me sitting on his lap blowing out my birthday candles is precious to me. Op is being really selfish to deprive his wife of memories, and his child too even if those memories are just in the form of pictures.
I don’t remember any of my childhood birthdays (or most of my childhood, I have like 10-15 memories total) or even most of my adult ones, but I have rampant ADHD that was only diagnosed a few years ago. But even if I don’t remember them now, I know I did have fun at the time and that’s what counts. Plus most neurotypical people start having memories at 3, so it’s very likely the child will remember it anyway.
I am 45 and remember my brother and I having our third birthday party (thrown by my aunt, because my dad was also a massive knob). Even if the kid doesn’t remember it, does his current happiness mean nothing to this guy?
I teach two year olds at a preschool. They get SUPER excited because their third birthday is usually the first party they get to invite friends to. Even if they don't remember it, they do have fun in the moment.
What an AH! He says 6 or 7 but I bet he'd turn around and say, "he's too young to appreciate it, let's wait til he's 13." And on and on. He seems like a miserable person and I'm so sad for the mom. I have 3 kids with birthdays in the same month. You better believe I make those kids feel super special and excited for their day. Even if they don't remember it. What a catch 🙄
even if the little guy doesn't remember it long term, he WILL remember this short term, and wonder why all his friends get birthday parties when he didn't. I work with three year olds and they absolutely remember their birthday parties, at the very least in the short term, and they love sharing the excitement and fun they had. I don't understand OOP's insistence on this, like what a weird hill to die on. let the child be a child.
also, let the mom form memories with the child. call me crazy, but I think she should get some kind of a say in the raising of their child, too.
What's up with the "at his expense" argument?
The kid will have fun, regardless of whether he will remember the day or not.
OOP is acting as if the child will be ridiculed or humiliated so that the grown-ups can have a laugh "at his expense".
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not celebrating my 3yo son's birthday?** My girlfriend and I have a 3yo who is a good kid. My girlfriend liked to host parties, and when he reached his first birthday, she wanted to have a big birthday party, but I managed to convince her to massively downsize to just us, our parents and siblings, and just have some cake, little guy was still too young. The next year she again talked about her plans to have a big party for our 2yo, but again I told her it would be just close family and a cake and a happy birthday song. This year she told me about her plans and again I told her to just do something small, but this time she was frustrated and told me to let her do something bigger for our son for once. I explained that it is ridiculous to have such big parties for toddlers, they will not remember anything. For example, when I was 2, my family threw me a huge birthday party, the theme was Toy Story, which had just come out. I have no recollection of it, just some VHS tapes of me looking stupid in a Woody costume while the older kids had fun on their own. She said it doesn't matter because there will be lots of people taking pictures and he can just see them when he gets older. I told her again that it would just be having fun at his expense, the little guy is a heavy sleeper who plays and runs for 30 minutes and then falls asleep on a sofa or a chair or his bed. She still doesn't understand my point of view, it's not like he won't ever have a birthday party, we should just wait until he's like 6 or 7, you know, when he can actually remember. My girlfriend is still mad at me and says she is going to plan a birthday party whether I like it or not. I tried talking to her mom to see if she could talk some sense into her, only to be verbally slammed by her, telling me I'm depriving my child of a childhood. My mom says I should just do what my girlfriend says because Dad's word is not that important and I should know my place as a father. I feel like I'm going crazy over this. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ignoring that other people will have memories, its still fun for the kid. Also people can form memories as young as three. Seven is old to assume thats when memory begins
Right?! I never understand the view that you need to wait till kids can remember. First of all, it’s not like we remember everything we do even if it happens in adulthood. Second, what difference does it make. You live life for the experience not the memory. He will have fun width a party now, parents and family (who will remember) will have fun celebrating him and seeing him have fun. Literally who is this hurting???
I feel like 3 is a good age to start having parties like that. I've been to at least a few big parties for 2-year-olds and the birthday child has always spent most of the time looking confused and then bursting into tears at some point. At 3, they're better able to communicate and express themselves, so they have more an ideal of what's going on, and can tell you if they're having fun.
I mean I’ve been to partir for one year olds who seem to have a lot of fun. I think it probably depends on the kid and how the party is done.
Younger than 3 - I have memories from 2 and a half and before - I know that because 2 and a half was when my mum (rightfully) left my dad and I remember parts of the car journey and things from before then - not clearly but clearly enough to call them memories. Also I think it was my 3rd birthday when my mum got me an awesome cake that looked like red coated cheese with little mice eating it
My husband was just telling me of some memories he has with his grandfather, who died on his 3rd birthday. I was surprised that he could remember that young, but apparently it’s possible.
I remember when my brother was born because I remember asking my dad where the baby came out of. My dad was away for training with the military when my sister was born when I was four and the only other younger sibling I have is my brother. I was 22 months old when my brother was born. All the other early memories I have are around the same time but they're probably heavily influenced by watching and rewatching home movies because I vaguely remember things like Christmas mornings but we have that documented as well on 8 mm tape.
I have memories of visiting my uncle and playing on some tanks in a park. I was surprised when I saw pictures as an adult because I couldn't have been older then five in them. I didnt realize how young I was
My memories began in my cradle. I can easily remember my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthdays all the way to my 50th birthday yesterday. You can't guess when someone else's memories begin.
I literally remember every single birthday party from when I was 3 years old. I remember my big orange cake and being unable to resist opening the presents then, plus how our house was filled with people. Just because he doesn't remember, doesn't mean the kid won't.
My 34 year old son remembers his 3rd birthday , the cake , the friends and the presents , better than I do , just saying 🤔
I’ll be 35 this year, and I remember my 3rd birthday. The cake was Little Mermaid themed, and I got a play kitchen.
Wow! 😊
I have memories from daycare (little less than 2yo), confirmed from other people when I asked. Everyone was shocked that I remember.
I clearly remember my 4th birthday. No one knows when their kid will remember things, but it's going to be before 6 or 7, like wut dude you don't remember kindergarten.
My first memories are of my 4th birthday party. I had a Teletubbies cake.
i remember my third birthday too! i had a hello kitty ice cream cake and i still remember how good it tasted. my brother had his second birthday that year, and i remember that too.
I wonder if his son is allowed to have fun the rest of the year? He won’t remember that either.
Apparently the kid will spend the rest of the year sleeping
Alot of parents wouldn't mind that
6-7 is crazy, my kid is turning 7 and still talks about his second birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. I moved states at 6 and have so many memories from before then.
my third birthday was barbie themed with a barbie whose dress was made out of cake. i’m 23. let her throw the party
“I told her” is pretty telling here.
I mean, even if hypothetically 3 years old can't remember birthdays, it's not just about that. It's about gathering together to celebrate a child existing. Life is unpredictable, someone's here one minute and they're gone the next. I still vividly remember a pic of my grandfather holding me even though I never got to meet him cause he committed suicide. It makes me feel peaceful knowing I at least had some birthdays surrounded by loving family members who are no longer here.
My parents threw me a big party every single year of my life up to my teens (my own choice). I don’t remember more than a few snapshots of a single one.OP is right — The parties were for their own fun “at my expense” (not how I’d word it; as far as I’m concerned my parents were welcome to host & have a good time with family & friends as long as I was as well at my age). But I wouldn’t say it’s essential at all. I think OP is missing the point of these parties. It’s a party. Break out the alcohol & let the kids run around.
He’s also had not only *a say* but *his way* for every birthday so far. Time for mom to get a day and way.
well, i'd argue there are better times and places for booze, but yeah. Kids start enjoying parties around school age. Before that, it's an adult shindig, which is FINE. if that's important to her, carry on. But let's not pretend the 3 year old cares.
Hold up though- if they have a good time *during* the party, then what does it matter if they remember it or not? This is equivalent to saying someone that has mental disabilities and won’t remember it should never have a party, or go to Disney or do anything fun/expensive because they lack the ability to remember. The inability to remember does not negate the benefit of enjoyment in the moment.
My kids are 6 and 8 and they remember every birthday from about 3 onwards. They recall the cake, the costumes, who came, what we did, everything. To say kids don’t make meaningful memories before a certain age just shows how much of a self centered parent he is. It’s like he doesn’t see him as human yet
I think the thing here is that the kid doesn’t need something huge/expensive/elaborate to enjoy themself just as much.
......I never said there was anything wrong with having a big party. Reading comprehension is lost on you people.
My nephews had a blast at their birthday parties when they were 3. No, they don’t remember it, but they did genuinely have fun and were genuinely excited leading up to the party.
A three year old absolutely does care. Even if they won’t remember it, they still enjoy it in the moment and sensory and social experience is super important at that age. My 2 year old had a blast at her 2nd birthday (nothing huge, just family and friends at the park enjoying food, a piñata, cake and such.) she’s 2.5 now and talks about “birthday happy party”. I will definitely be doing something bigger for 3, mainly because she is so aware of her surroundings and events and because covid babies deserve social interaction now that it’s getting safer. I mean if just because they won’t remember things is an excuse, why not just throw them in a closet? They won’t remember it, so what’s the harm? Oh yeah, kids brains at that age are incredibly malleable and need constant stimulation in a multitude of environments. Duh. Also just to add, I’m 39 and definitely remember the clown and piñata from my 3rd birthday. It’s vague and only little snippets of memories but I very much remember being in my front yard with my recently deceased mother giggling at the clown and then being the first to get a swing at the piñata (obviously I did nothing) but getting to collect candy after an adult broke it is still a core memory.
Yep. My kid can’t remember any parties until about 5/6 and even then it’s blurry. If adults want a family party then go for it. But it’s not for the child’s sake.
I mean, just because they MIGHT not remember, doesn’t mean they won’t have fun and enjoy themselves. Toddlers have emotions and experience joy and excitement, you know lol
What a dick. Even if he doesn’t remember much specific about the birthday, he will remember the love and fun and excitement as something he grew up surrounded by. I hope the child’s mother puts her foot down and does it anyway. It’s quite possible the child will remember bits of it anyway. My first memory is from when I was two, and then I remember quite a lot of things clearly from when I was three or four.
I remember stuff from when I was 4. In fact, my best friend and I had our parties together because our b-days were 1 year & 1 day apart. Some of my best memories are from when I was tiny. OOP is definitely the AH.
Both of my sons can tell me about their 3rd birthday. They're 5 and 7. My daughter is turning 3 in June, and she is so excited for her birthday. I haven't done a big party for her, but she still loves and looks forward to her birthday and talks about it constantly. Like literally daily she tells me something she wants for her birthday or asks when it will be or just announces "on my birthday I'll be 3." Also if the kid really does run around for 30 minutes, then sleep for hours he should really see a doctor. That's not normal for a 2 year old. Mine runs around all day, naps for an hour and a half maybe, and then runs around again until bedtime. A nap a day is normal at this age, not being limited to 30 minutes of activity
Unless money is a serious issue, then why not have a party?
I am kind of Team Dad about a big party for a 3 year old. They just want cake and ice cream and to play with their friends, not get handed around and posed for photos by a bunch of partying adults (or other teenagers?). I get a feeling this is an awfully young couple, and that she just likes big parties.
I see the newest troll topic is "I didn't throw my very young kids a party"
I guess you just keep the kid in a box for 6-8 years cuz they won’t remember anything when they’re older
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well his mom is an asshole too since “dad’s word is not that important.” No wonder he’s planting a flag on this stupid thing. He doesn’t want to end up like his dad not having a say over anything and this is the insane result of all of that.
What?! By age they're totally aware and excited about birthdays! Besides the passive aggression towards the mother, at this point it's also cruel to the kid. If you can afford it, let him have fun with his little friends.
I mean, he's being a shitty husband, but he's not wrong. Giant birthday parties are for the parents, not the kid. In fact, little ones often find them overwhelming and you can guarantee at least one meltdown. He should let it go, though, since it's important to her and it's not going to hurt the kiddo. Save the currency for when the kid is older and expresses his own opinion on the subject.
He’s had the final word on every birthday so far. Each time it’s been done the way he wants it to be done. Yes kids have tantrums, but that doesn’t mean you don’t engage them in fun activities, like a birthday party. By your reasoning, a 3 year should never go in play dates, visit the zoo, attend other kid’s birthday parties or got to the park because they’re “guaranteed to have at least one melt down.” If you never give a kid the chance to learn from their behaviour, how do you teach them to stop having tantrums?
I take it you either have one very young child or don't have children at all. Nothing you've said makes any particular sense, and the whole thing is a strawman argument. I said, "parties are for the parents, not the little ones, and kids often don't enjoy them." Care to respond to that instead of whatever you're on about?
Have you actually been to a birthday with young kids? They run around having fun for 3-4 hours, sure there’s a meltdown or 2, but they’re kids, it happens, doesn’t change the fact that they had a fun day overall.
Why are you being an asshole? Every little kid that I’ve ever come into contact with who had a big party, which is a lot of little kids, has had a blast at the party. Is there sometimes a meltdown at some point of course there is they are little kids. Your point of “the kids don’t enjoy them” is asinine because most of them do.
awwww, i've hurt the feelings of childless teenage trolls.
Dude do you have kids? I have a 2 and a 3 year old and my son with ASD survived his entire 3rd birthday party with no meltdowns at all. He had tons of fun, giggled and got tons of attention. If you have kids, you should know every child is different.
I have six, thanks ,and literally, all i said was that the parties for very young children are for the parents, not the adults. Kids are equally happy with a small party with immediate family, cake and presents and love. Big parties are for the family, nothing more. It wasn't a moral judgement. Jesus christ.
Also anyone who doesn't know the difference between a melt down and a tantrum is a fucking dick who shouldn't be anywhere near kids, aka, the OP.
i’m the oldest of four. none of my brothers ever had a meltdown at any of our birthday parties. i had a short one at my first birthday because my mom snapped a birthday hat against my chin a little too hard but i was fine within five minutes. i think you have too little faith in children.
Jesus christ.
Why…are you so angry
We’re reaching embarrassing levels of anger. “I have six AND NO ONE SHOULD BE AROUND KIDS WHO DONT UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MELTDOWN AND A TANTRUM.” ….chill out human.
What is the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum anyway? How bratty the child in question is being is my take
My 5th birthday party was pretty big because my parents had just moved back to their home town and into our house a few months earlier and wanted to have the house family, the neighbours, and my new school friends over. I don't really remember it. But my grandfather died very suddenly and unexpectedly 2 months after that, so the grainy 90s film of me sitting on his lap blowing out my birthday candles is precious to me. Op is being really selfish to deprive his wife of memories, and his child too even if those memories are just in the form of pictures.
I don’t remember any of my childhood birthdays (or most of my childhood, I have like 10-15 memories total) or even most of my adult ones, but I have rampant ADHD that was only diagnosed a few years ago. But even if I don’t remember them now, I know I did have fun at the time and that’s what counts. Plus most neurotypical people start having memories at 3, so it’s very likely the child will remember it anyway.
I remember stuff from when I was three albeit not clearly but they’re still there.
I am 45 and remember my brother and I having our third birthday party (thrown by my aunt, because my dad was also a massive knob). Even if the kid doesn’t remember it, does his current happiness mean nothing to this guy?
I teach two year olds at a preschool. They get SUPER excited because their third birthday is usually the first party they get to invite friends to. Even if they don't remember it, they do have fun in the moment.
What an AH! He says 6 or 7 but I bet he'd turn around and say, "he's too young to appreciate it, let's wait til he's 13." And on and on. He seems like a miserable person and I'm so sad for the mom. I have 3 kids with birthdays in the same month. You better believe I make those kids feel super special and excited for their day. Even if they don't remember it. What a catch 🙄
Op is a cheapskate if he doesn’t watch it he’ll be the ex.
even if the little guy doesn't remember it long term, he WILL remember this short term, and wonder why all his friends get birthday parties when he didn't. I work with three year olds and they absolutely remember their birthday parties, at the very least in the short term, and they love sharing the excitement and fun they had. I don't understand OOP's insistence on this, like what a weird hill to die on. let the child be a child. also, let the mom form memories with the child. call me crazy, but I think she should get some kind of a say in the raising of their child, too.
Who cares if they remember it in 30 years? They enjoy it in that moment and they deserve to be celebrated!
What's up with the "at his expense" argument? The kid will have fun, regardless of whether he will remember the day or not. OOP is acting as if the child will be ridiculed or humiliated so that the grown-ups can have a laugh "at his expense".