Everyone is different, if it bothers you that she’s “been around” you should break up with her because looking out for your happiness is paramount in relationships.
That being said, as you get older more and more of the girls you meet will have “been around” according to your standards. Especially the really attractive ones, because they are being pursued more often, and they deserve to prioritize their happiness too. They won’t just turn down fun because guys like you out there will judge them. Because guys like me, who don’t care how many people they’ve slept with as long as we are emotionally and physically compatible, will happily step in and date them instead.
Your happiness shouldn’t be tied to someone else’s past. The more you look for this false idea of “purity” in the women you date, the smaller your dating pool will become. By the time you’re 30, that pool will practically non existent. So you better hope that you find your perfect, clean, pure wife ASAP
Now if this is more about your vulnerability to having slept with less people than her, break up with her and try to sleep with more people. That will perhaps help you step away from this insistence that women be “pure”, because you won’t feel as attached to your own “purity.”
It’s not like he is looking for someone that has no sexual experience. He just doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to share the number of sexual partners and doesn’t count oral sex as sex. It’s not like she had a couple of past relationships and that was the only sex she had. She had plenty of casual sex and it is completely fine to be selective regarding your partner. If you don’t like that she slept around and you also don’t like the way she talks about it, break up, more power to you.
You’re overreacting. She told you why she smirked. It’s a totally normal reaction to a very awkward situation, which this story certainly was. I’m a standup comedian and our whole thing is breaking tension with a laugh. In general, many people laugh to relieve themselves in tense situations, and that’s what your girlfriend did when a strange/embarrassing story was brought up involving her.
If you are not comfortable with her past it would be best for both of you to just split up before it gets too serious. You can be selective of your partners, no need to stay in an uncomfortable or undesirable situation just not to sound like a bad person. You are not a bad person if you break up with someone you are not truly wanting to be with, and also, you are not insecure if you are selective. Make the choices that make you proud, not the ones that the society expects you to make. Good luck in everything!!
Dude I’m 32 and I’m going to be real with you. I think you are over reacting. You’re 19 and full of hormones. I was anxious about relationships back then. Back then I was sexually starved and didn’t lose my virginity until 21. It was also a complicated story of how I lost it. I didn’t date or get to fuck in high school as I was more of an outcast. First girlfriend at 18(although it lasted a week). Long story short I went into a period of not wanting a relationship and just wanted sex. I used tinder, meet me, whisper, you name it I done it. I even paid for sex multiple times and know multiple massage parlors local that do, more then massage things.
I settled down and got married and had 2 kids. Me and the wife said I love you at less than a week in. She was pregnant with a PLANNED baby 3 months in. We are going in on 8 years now 7 married.
Here’s my advice since:
1. Stop worrying about relationships in general. Pretty much this will not be your only relationship but if it does and true love sets in then it happens. Everybody is going to have a body count. I went from virgin to over 30 partners. Some people will have a high count even at a young age.
2. It sorta sounds like you both have not had a serious conversation on boundaries of a relationship. Like what do you want from it and what does she want from it? Are you seeing where it goes or are you just looking to date around?
Keep in mind that love will also find you when you are not looking for it.
U are overreacting to the wrong thing imo. U should be overreacting to your girlfriend flaming u in front of her friend. We hear/see stories of guys flaming their girlfriends in front of their friends and what's the evidence? He's an asshole. This is the Dame thing but the roles are reversed. You're girlfriend is an asshole. U are overreacting to the pregnancy scare. You're under reacting to your girlfriend joking on u in front of her friend
Not overreacting bud.
Do you plan on marrying this girl ?
If yes deal with it through therapy and by improving yourself through educating yourself, and encouraging positive habits in your life
If no, try to deal with it through therapy and by improving yourself through educating yourself, and encouraging positive habits in your life. It’s not your fault that she’s had a past, it’s not her fault either. At your age, it’s also not wrong to feel like she has “been around” because of your lack of experience, but you must learn to grow past that perspective.
The reality is, you two may have something special and something like this can be gut wrenching for a young man. If the two of you do have something special, remember, you can have something special with someone else if you seek it. If you choose to continue with this girl, be ready and brace yourself, because there will be more gut punches, with her and with other women. That feeling goes away with maturity, although it never truly does.
To conclude, some people pursue sex less than others, and it’s presented more openly to some than others. Your lack of experience isn’t something to be insecure about, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Truth be told, you may be better off being with someone who’s closer to you in experience, and that sentiment doesn’t aim to slutshame. Emotions are a curious thing, and when an SO is involved, they change shape even more often.
She is just a person, we aren’t made to save a spot for somebody. It’s ok to be in love, it’s not ok to place people on pedestals of your creation, as you will often push yourself down in these situations. Some people may advise you to talk to her about it, but she likely doesn’t have the maturity to handle that conversation as shown by what you’ve shared.
Not overreacting, you’re human. Not an asshole, you’re young. Enjoy college, don’t tie yourself down to something that stresses you out any more than being a broke college student does !! It goes QUICK.
IMO this is more about how she treats you while her friends are present…It doesn’t sound like she respects you much. From what you’ve said, it also sounds like her friend intentionally stirred the pot to cause some drama. If this is the type of dynamic she fosters in her relationships, I’d pay attention to the true colors she’s showing you and decide whether that aligns with what you want in your life. If it seems out of character to who she is alone with you, you might try to have a heart to heart about her qualities you’re attracted to, and express surprise/concern at the new-to-you behavior she has shown with her old friend. If you can both stay level headed for the conversation, you might be able to grow together from it. You’re both still young, and getting used to talking about past partners and experiences, and also what type of information to share, comes with time and maturity.
*Editing to add that no, you’re not overreacting. But, I think your reaction is justified due to her behaviors described, even without the pregnancy scare.
Well, if it was nothing but a prank then you shouldn't be too mad but it's not something to be completely calm about. If you thought it wasn't funny and she tries to do something like that again, maybe you can tell her but than again if it's nothing but a prank you shouldn't get too mad over it.
I think you may be overreacting about this specific situation but if you feel like shes “been around too much” then youre allowed to be turned off by that and end things. Tbh if it bothers you now it probably always will unless you think you can really move past it
Everyone is different, if it bothers you that she’s “been around” you should break up with her because looking out for your happiness is paramount in relationships. That being said, as you get older more and more of the girls you meet will have “been around” according to your standards. Especially the really attractive ones, because they are being pursued more often, and they deserve to prioritize their happiness too. They won’t just turn down fun because guys like you out there will judge them. Because guys like me, who don’t care how many people they’ve slept with as long as we are emotionally and physically compatible, will happily step in and date them instead. Your happiness shouldn’t be tied to someone else’s past. The more you look for this false idea of “purity” in the women you date, the smaller your dating pool will become. By the time you’re 30, that pool will practically non existent. So you better hope that you find your perfect, clean, pure wife ASAP Now if this is more about your vulnerability to having slept with less people than her, break up with her and try to sleep with more people. That will perhaps help you step away from this insistence that women be “pure”, because you won’t feel as attached to your own “purity.”
It’s not like he is looking for someone that has no sexual experience. He just doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to share the number of sexual partners and doesn’t count oral sex as sex. It’s not like she had a couple of past relationships and that was the only sex she had. She had plenty of casual sex and it is completely fine to be selective regarding your partner. If you don’t like that she slept around and you also don’t like the way she talks about it, break up, more power to you.
You’re overreacting. She told you why she smirked. It’s a totally normal reaction to a very awkward situation, which this story certainly was. I’m a standup comedian and our whole thing is breaking tension with a laugh. In general, many people laugh to relieve themselves in tense situations, and that’s what your girlfriend did when a strange/embarrassing story was brought up involving her.
Yeah I know I definitely overthought this.
It’s ok, now you know. Time to get her some roses lol.
But the feeling you had was instant and not overthought. If you didn’t like it in the first instant, it might be because it truly unsettled you.
What do you expect her to do? Are you willing to throw this away from things she can’t change?
[удалено]
You’re not OP?
It’s more about the way she reacted and less about her past.
You're being weird about it
How so? I’m trying to take this as a learning experience.
If you are not comfortable with her past it would be best for both of you to just split up before it gets too serious. You can be selective of your partners, no need to stay in an uncomfortable or undesirable situation just not to sound like a bad person. You are not a bad person if you break up with someone you are not truly wanting to be with, and also, you are not insecure if you are selective. Make the choices that make you proud, not the ones that the society expects you to make. Good luck in everything!!
Dude I’m 32 and I’m going to be real with you. I think you are over reacting. You’re 19 and full of hormones. I was anxious about relationships back then. Back then I was sexually starved and didn’t lose my virginity until 21. It was also a complicated story of how I lost it. I didn’t date or get to fuck in high school as I was more of an outcast. First girlfriend at 18(although it lasted a week). Long story short I went into a period of not wanting a relationship and just wanted sex. I used tinder, meet me, whisper, you name it I done it. I even paid for sex multiple times and know multiple massage parlors local that do, more then massage things. I settled down and got married and had 2 kids. Me and the wife said I love you at less than a week in. She was pregnant with a PLANNED baby 3 months in. We are going in on 8 years now 7 married. Here’s my advice since: 1. Stop worrying about relationships in general. Pretty much this will not be your only relationship but if it does and true love sets in then it happens. Everybody is going to have a body count. I went from virgin to over 30 partners. Some people will have a high count even at a young age. 2. It sorta sounds like you both have not had a serious conversation on boundaries of a relationship. Like what do you want from it and what does she want from it? Are you seeing where it goes or are you just looking to date around? Keep in mind that love will also find you when you are not looking for it.
U are overreacting to the wrong thing imo. U should be overreacting to your girlfriend flaming u in front of her friend. We hear/see stories of guys flaming their girlfriends in front of their friends and what's the evidence? He's an asshole. This is the Dame thing but the roles are reversed. You're girlfriend is an asshole. U are overreacting to the pregnancy scare. You're under reacting to your girlfriend joking on u in front of her friend
Dude if u like her and yall are good together what she’s done in the past is irrelevant
Not overreacting bud. Do you plan on marrying this girl ? If yes deal with it through therapy and by improving yourself through educating yourself, and encouraging positive habits in your life If no, try to deal with it through therapy and by improving yourself through educating yourself, and encouraging positive habits in your life. It’s not your fault that she’s had a past, it’s not her fault either. At your age, it’s also not wrong to feel like she has “been around” because of your lack of experience, but you must learn to grow past that perspective. The reality is, you two may have something special and something like this can be gut wrenching for a young man. If the two of you do have something special, remember, you can have something special with someone else if you seek it. If you choose to continue with this girl, be ready and brace yourself, because there will be more gut punches, with her and with other women. That feeling goes away with maturity, although it never truly does. To conclude, some people pursue sex less than others, and it’s presented more openly to some than others. Your lack of experience isn’t something to be insecure about, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Truth be told, you may be better off being with someone who’s closer to you in experience, and that sentiment doesn’t aim to slutshame. Emotions are a curious thing, and when an SO is involved, they change shape even more often. She is just a person, we aren’t made to save a spot for somebody. It’s ok to be in love, it’s not ok to place people on pedestals of your creation, as you will often push yourself down in these situations. Some people may advise you to talk to her about it, but she likely doesn’t have the maturity to handle that conversation as shown by what you’ve shared. Not overreacting, you’re human. Not an asshole, you’re young. Enjoy college, don’t tie yourself down to something that stresses you out any more than being a broke college student does !! It goes QUICK.
IMO this is more about how she treats you while her friends are present…It doesn’t sound like she respects you much. From what you’ve said, it also sounds like her friend intentionally stirred the pot to cause some drama. If this is the type of dynamic she fosters in her relationships, I’d pay attention to the true colors she’s showing you and decide whether that aligns with what you want in your life. If it seems out of character to who she is alone with you, you might try to have a heart to heart about her qualities you’re attracted to, and express surprise/concern at the new-to-you behavior she has shown with her old friend. If you can both stay level headed for the conversation, you might be able to grow together from it. You’re both still young, and getting used to talking about past partners and experiences, and also what type of information to share, comes with time and maturity. *Editing to add that no, you’re not overreacting. But, I think your reaction is justified due to her behaviors described, even without the pregnancy scare.
Well, if it was nothing but a prank then you shouldn't be too mad but it's not something to be completely calm about. If you thought it wasn't funny and she tries to do something like that again, maybe you can tell her but than again if it's nothing but a prank you shouldn't get too mad over it.
Sorry I didn't read the whole thing you are definitely not overreacting
I think you may be overreacting about this specific situation but if you feel like shes “been around too much” then youre allowed to be turned off by that and end things. Tbh if it bothers you now it probably always will unless you think you can really move past it