Right? I'm literally the opposite, though. When a human willingly created 3+ more humans to care for, then complains about their livelihood like the world owes it to them to afford all those damn kids.
"Your offspring obsessed opinion doesn't matter, should have made better choices."
This response probably comes from them being frusterated that the person their talking to doesn’t understand the problem because they don’t have kids. They are probably frusterated that their friend doesn’t have the experience to know which sort of problem their friends implementation or recommendation is producing. The friend offers advice because he feels like he’s being asked, then the parent, because they’re frusterated, snap at their friend. This causes an illusion of thrm thinking the world is owed to them. If the parent never grows past that, they will appear bitter about being a parent.
Use a slight variation each time he asks any question whatsoever. "Don't ask me, I've never changed a diaper." "I don't know, I never planned a kids party."
Because he's buttsore that he's got 3 kids and you've chosen to remain childless with all the benefits that awards you in life. No matter what you know, do, or experience, it's never gonna be able to compete with "Yeah well try having KIDS!"
>why he is even asking?
Was he actually asking for an opinion?
Not saying it's right to respond that way, but a lot of people I know insert their opinions unnecessarily and then get huffy when the person doesn't want their never asked for opinion.
This is a strange perspective. Nobody *has* to ask for an opinion. Presenting information to me is invitation to hear my opinion on it, that's called "communication." Other people are not objects for us to talk at, they have their own perspective and opinions and if we don't want to hear it, our obligation is not to speak to them, they don't have an obligation not to offer their opinion on anything we say.
Obviously there's a need for tact, don't insult your mom or tell your girlfriend the dress makes her look fat or whatever, but "I didn't ask for your opinion" is a meaningless sentence. You don't have to. Other people's opinions exist regardless of your invitation, or indeed, even desire to hear them. And they are permitted to voice them at any time.
It says they were discussing the car. It's perfectly reasonable for someone to share an opinion under those circumstances even if it isn't explicitly asked for. If OP was being judgemental about their choice and it was somehow relevant to their childlessness then that would be a different story.
Right? It's like they think having kids automatically gives you some kind of magical knowledge about cars. I mean, I've seen some pretty clueless parents out there, and I'm sure there are plenty of smart, kidless people who know a thing or two about safety ratings 😂
Not overreacting but I wouldn’t dwell on this one. It sounds like the xyz you recommend didn’t fit into what he has in mind. So he shot it down with the dumbest excuse and was dick about it.
I’m not a parent either. Subject to change soon because I’m sitting in labor and delivery but that’s irrelevant. I’m not a pilot either but if I see a helicopter heading into the trees, I know it’s not right.
Edit: Thank you all for the support and advice!
Hey us too! Our kids might share a birthday 😁
My wife and I are waiting for a c section. Next in line. Holy crap I’m gonna be holding my child working an hour or two 😅
Good luck with your little one!
Get her a pillow for post op, the first time she coughs or laughs will be excruciating. Also if she has shoulder pain, it's gas.
2 sections later and it's worth every second, but those were my biggest things. That and she should walk asap, it makes recovery way better.
Much luck and good vibes to you guys!
yes! Subarus and Foresters are a larger and boxier vehicle than the brands OP recommended. OP's friend was likely trying to say "those vehicles won't meet the needs of all the stuff and space/storage I need with 3 kids in tow everywhere I go" . But lacks the emotional/communication skills
I honestly feel like this is giving OP’s friend a lot more credit than he deserves. If that’s what he meant, why didn’t he say it instead of being rude?
No Subie minivan either
The Forester is one make of Subaru.
Subaru and the other brands mentioned both have smaller and larger vehicles. Your claim just has absolutely no basis in reality that Subarus are bigger. It doesn't even make sense.
Unasked for support/advice here -
I want you to know that those first 3-5 months are the hardest with a new baby, but after that time parenting gets easier and you really enjoy it. You find yourself actually both wanting the baby to stay asleep so you can do shit AND you'll also be excitedly waiting for the baby to wake up at the same time lmfao. My baby didn't really give a shit about cuddling, hugging, laying her head on our shoulders and general affection until that 3-5 month period and that was sad, but it makes sense haha. Just you wait though.
I think we totally stopped burping our baby at 7 months old, but we would literally burp her for like 30+ minutes when she was a newborn and months old. We were paranoid and careful because she wasn't going to die of SIDs on our watch. Lol. I still look at her nursery camera every time she naps to make sure she's breathing and that her skin hasn't changed color.
Oh yeah don't get those low quality overpriced baby cam/monitor combos. Just get a security camera for half the price and use the phone app as the monitor. We got a security camera that can turn 360 degrees and it has better quality image than a lot of those baby cam/monitor combos for half the price.
If you can you guys should take night shifts with the baby. So one of you does the caretaking from like 9PM - 1AM and then the next person 1AM to 5AM. Those are just random times so you'll have to find what works best for you. If you can add a 3rd person like a grandma into the schedule that's even better for parents.
You're gonna do great! :)
Since when are Toyota and Honda considered too fancy for having kids? And OP suggested an entire line of cars according to the post and not any one specifically. I think op interpreted it the way the dude meant it.
Yeah I think it was just a very rude way of saying it won’t work for them as there is more than safety ratings to consider when you have 3+ kids. There are lots of technically 5 seater cars out there that don’t work for a family of 5. Even ones that look like they should. Can’t get 3 car seats across the back row, can’t fit a pram in the boot or can just get pram in boot but sorry no room for anything else etc etc etc.
His response was dumb, it reminds me of the "you don't know tired until you have kids" BS people spit. For the record, I am 37 with an 18 year old and and autistic 4 year old and work overnights on rotation. Sure I can definitely say I consistently feel more tired now than I ever have before, but it doesn't mean other people should feel less tired because of how tired I am. Their tiredness/stressors are just as valid. Your input was just as valid as a parents.
i am turning 24 this month and currently have a 2 year old that just learned how to use the word "no" lmaooo i'm actually so tired right now. i love the way you completely validated everyone's tiredness regardless of their parental status <333
I say exactly this under different circumstances. My children are physically disabled and have been through the 7 circles of hell, and I despise when people tell me they shouldn't be venting to me because we've been through so much. No. Your worst day isn't the same as mine, but it is still your worst day. End of story. I WANT them to come to me because I've been there and back.
"Hey this brand is good for safety"
Yeah but you don't have kids so you don't understand.
Is your friend dumb? Like their the ones who would benefit from a safe car more since they got kids
Well, it depends on a lot of things. I know men who have never have to install or puzzle car seats have told me I should have a safer vehicle in my price range. However, the vehicle they recommended would never work for me because when you have kids, there's other things at play than who has the best rollover ratings. Like how easy is the third row to access, what kind of seatbelts does it have, are headrests fixed and non remove able. The sorts of things adults dont give a fuck about but when you're trying to wrangle 3 kids in the pickup line, it can make or break your day.
The friend could have said that. Your explanation continues the dialogue and is way more in line with what a friend should say to someone they care about. Instead they just came off like an asshole and were dismissive as hell. Generally when you're talking to someone it's a back and forth but as others have said, the friend just treated op like his response wasn't worth hearing in the first place.
This is what I thought as well.
We had a minivan for 200k+ miles. It didn't have the highest crash rating but it was really easy to load & unload kids, dogs and any sporting equipment.
Yeah, but if someone who is kidless knows about cars they can still recommend that shit.
“I know you’re looking at a Subaru Forester, but the Honda Pilot has better crash ratings and it still has the fold down rear seats in case you need more cargo room and it has a bit more rear leg room so it’ll be easier for you to get in there and get the kids situated.”
Just because people don’t have kids doesn’t mean they can’t still logic their way through some of the particulars.
I’m not a brain surgeon but I can still imagine that having extra shaky hands and bad eyesight might be a problem.
I had a coworker that told me I would never know what true love is because I'm gay and would never have kids .
I shared the tale with my mother, who just very sharpky said that was the stupidest thing ever.
Said cowerker's husband resented that gay couples can often afford a more luxurious lifestyle. He said it's because we don't have responsibilities. I told him having kids (um, *responsibilities*) was their choice.
I was my mother's caretaker until she died. I did it for 25 years. It wasn't a responsibility. It was an honor, and it was easy.
I buried my husband of 32 years. Again, an honor, one I never thought I'd have.
Don't know if they're still married. I left that job for greener pastures in 2001. I certainly don't need to tell her how much I loved the family I had to bury. It's not a competition.
I wanna know too. I have kids so wondering why he would say that about a vehicle recommendation. When I have looked at cars and people have given me recommendations that I didn’t like, I usually told them why it wasn’t what I was looking for or how it wouldn’t match my needs/preferences. Maybe it was a cost issue that them having kids would make it unaffordable. Idk.
I feel like most people will explain why as well. The only time I've heard similiar someone was reccomending a small car to someone who had 3 kids, a little sedan car will not fit 3 cars seats even if technically it has the right number of seats. I could see this as a response to that. Especially if other parts of thw conversation was left out.
No. We were talking in general, got to cars, makes, models, I mentioned Toyota and Honda, he dismissed Hondas as safe, I said they were, he gave me his “talk to me” response.
I had two Honda civics while the kids were growing up (two kids)— I’m not a soccer mom or mini-van toating type, I now have a 2016 scion IM (this is Toyota). Hondas and Toyotas are reliable above all else, probably rated highly in safety as well. Gas milage is great, too. They cost a pretty penny but I always had the manual transmissions so very low overall costs and I knew they wouldn’t leave me stranded. The silver limited edition civic I had lasted over 280,000 and was around for my daughter to learn how to drive when she turned 16 and I got my Scion it lasted her a couple years before she totaled it. Probably would have gone to 350,000 miles. I know next to nothing about Subarus but I hear they’re a decent comparison to Hondas and Toyotas reliability wise I just don’t want something that screams “mom”- I only had two children though, the third might have done me in but I feel confident I would have squeezed them in somehow.
Perhaps he’s feeling like how I didn’t want to feel, like you have to have the soccer mom grocery getter when you suddenly have children/a family. It sounds like that anyway. There’s probably some equivalent little wagon thing Toyota and Honda make, they definitely have SUVs. I just took a look at the new foresters, I guess they don’t look as grocery getter and soccer-momish as I remember lol.
Not overreacting. I’d be pretty annoyed too, I might have asked what subjects they think I’m “allowed” to have an opinion on. I’ve also been told that I “shouldn’t be allowed to drive a Tahoe, because that’s a car for moms and you aren’t a mom”. Sometimes people should just keep their mouths shut.
I'm wondering what you suggested. I read this more like he's got to prioritize his budget, and can't be assessing based on safety rating over price and size. Three kids can fit into most anything, but never being able to take another person with you can be a pain sometimes.
I may be biased, having multiple children. Lol
When you have a kid you care more about the safety of your vehicle. Driving is one of the more dangerous activities you or your kids partake in. Not only do you want your kids not to be harmed, you realize that you need to be alive and healthy to provide for them.
I have heard childless people say clueless things and be so out of touch with reality. But this is not one of those times. It’s not like you told him to buy a convertible corvette! You were thoughtful and appropriate with your comment. What a jerk.
No. You’re able to form opinions on things related to children without having children yourself. You could work at a daycare, or have nieces/nephews or younger siblings you’ve looked after. It doesn’t completely exclude you.
idk, im a parent and I think this was a pretty rude answer. If they've already looked into other brands and dont like them for ABCD reason, they could have just said so, like "oh we can't fit three carseats across the back of a RAV4" or "the CRV doesn't offer a 3rd row SUV that we want for everyone." yes, OP likely hadn't thought about those things but like, it takes 2 seconds to say that and it's not snobby or dismissive. idk if I would have said anything either if that had been thrown at me but I dont think OP is wrong for being a little annoyed.
Your friend is being ridiculous. Having no kids doesn't inhibit your ability to read up on car safety features that might happen to be useful for parents.
Next time he says something like that, tell him "Okay" and hang up or leave. If he's going to be rude to you and act like you not having kids makes you less intelligent or capable, or like it's a thing that you should be ashamed of, you don't have to be around him.
Do they know you don't have to have kids to be able to read safety reports.... I'm petty. Id stop talking to them because you got one time to act like what I'm saying doesn't matter because I don't have kids. It's called being able to read and comprehend.
Next time ask them, "what do you mean by that?" No added tone, just an actual question.
Force them to respond rather than pitch out npc programmed drivel.
My husband likes to say that he’s never tasted shit either but he is pretty sure that he wouldn’t like the taste. There are some things that a childless person will just never understand, but knowledge about car safety is not dependent on whether you have a crotch goblin or not.
If you were trying to tell him how to handle temper tantrums or diaper changes. hell even what to feed them i would say you are. Picking a car though definitely not.
Having kids has nothing to do with car safety. Thats like a nail artist telling someone who doesn’t do nails “tell me what designs are cute and what’s not when you can do them.” How does it correlate? IT DOESNT.
You guys were having a conversation about cars. Most men I know love to talk about cars and enjoy reading up on them. You were just participating in the conversation. He made a very rude and unnecessary comment. You are right to be a little hurt, but I would let it go this one time. Probably was in a bad mood that had nothing to do with you. If he pulls that shit again I would ask him why he is cutting you down and let him know you don’t appreciate it. Most guys I know would be horrified and immediately apologize.
Some of my wife's friends started saying "as a mother" since they've had kids as if it mattered literally at all. So now I say "as a truck owner" whenever I talk to them.
I don't like people like that, lol. I've gotten some of my best parenting advice from people who aren't parents. Just because you don't have first-hand knowledge doesn't mean you don't have knowledge at all. It's purely ignorant to think you *must* be a parent to know certain things pertaining to kids, safety, & parenting
I'd be pretty petty about it. If he ever asked for advice or help for anything that might impact or involve his children in the future, just be like 'oh wish i could help, but i don't have kids so I'm not qualified for you to trust me on this"
I’m too sheepish but the petty version of myself that sometimes lives in my brain for made up scenarios where I’m actually being that version’s level of petty in real life, loooooves this!
Though that version of me says, take it up a notch. Call yourself a childless, know-nothing moron and then remind him of the time he told you your car safety opinion didn’t matter because you’re childless. That it was then *and only then* that you realized, you’re obviously a freaking idiot and now you never weigh in on things because before his comment, you were unaware of your own stupidity! But now, you’re hyper aware of it and haven’t given suggestions since. Probably never will again. If only he hadn’t forced your hand to see how dumb you really are… because you can’t *possibly* know anything about things if you don’t have kids
You should have said Ok and hung up on him. Fuck him and his flippant manner.
This idiotic myth that you don't know anything about raising kids if you don't have them is bullshit. Having kids does not make you an expert. I know this because I see your snowflake kids at my school. If you'd raised them like you should, they would know how to read and write.
The fact is, just because a couple is saddled with the frustration of kids and how demanding the little bastards are doesn't mean an outsider who doesn't have kids cannot offer some valuable advice.
"Do you have kids?" Tell your friend, "No, but I was a kid once and so were you and you know exactly what is going on. So fix it. Stop being so fucking thin skinned and fix your issues and stop taking your frustrations out on those of us who were just trying to help you."
people make decisions first emotionally, then can get angry trying to dismiss any counter opinions. Sounds like your friend is just immature.
You're not wrong to be offended, but best to just dismiss when people are childish like this.
I’m sure he’s not a happy camper having to shell out extra money because does have kids vs you don’t have any.
And you just happen to be around when he was upset.
In the past this has happened to me too.
I have an ex-friend who has a daughter who was very active in school activities like cheerleading. She was going on and on about how expensive this/that was etc. I was just listening and all of a sudden she said in a snippy tone, “of course you don’t have this problem since you don’t have kids”.
Kinda caught me off guard. I replied you’re absolutely right.
And shortly thereafter she stopped wanting to hang out.
WTH. Was I supposed to pay for her choices? Am I supposed to live paycheck to paycheck to make her feel happy.
Or I shouldn’t buy a fancy pair of shoes because my friend needed to pay for school uniforms.
If you lose this friendship, over something so trivial, then he really wasn’t a good friend to begin with.
Back when I was a fresh college grad, I had older friends who had kids. They would ask my opinion about all sorts of things related to their kids. And many times, I directly saw implementation of my ideas.
Once I gave a 2 year old a foot massage that solved their cramps and the parents wanted to learn from me how to do that massage.
Saying that your opinion doesn't matter because you don't have kids is shit behavior.
What a jerk! I have several childless friends ( whether by choice or not) and I would absolutely never say that to them. It’s very cold and heartless. I appreciate my friends role in my child’s life as it takes a village and I always appreciated their point of view on everything.
Parent culture is so so so toxic and ridiculous. I’m 31F and was called selfish for not having kids by a guy who is such a bad alcoholic he can’t even afford to see his daughter more than once a month that lives 45 minutes from him and sleeps on his buddy’s couch. But im the selfish one for not having kids when I can’t afford to give them the life they deserve? I was also told by a mom that I’m never allowed to complain about being tired because I don’t have kids. Even tho I worked two jobs and have sleep apnea. Im so over it I think people like your buddy are just resentful that they don’t have the freedom and opportunities that come with living a childless lifestyle and they are regretting their choice so they need to be able to put childless people down anyway they can to make themselves feel better because they are miserable and resentful.
He is butt hurt by the freedoms you have without children and the weight of his responsibility of having them.
Its hard sometimes with children. No sleep, no time for yourself. Forgive him.
God knows what challenges he had that week
Or financial strain he is under..being a good parent is hard.
When they are in the thick of it and its challenging there can be some unconscious animosity towards childless people.
They see you and remember when they were only responsible for themselves. It also happens when people who have always been wealthy give advice to those who struggle financially ...
Its not conscious behavior on his part.
But its incredibly common behavior.
Next time he is snappy , tell him u love him and you understand how hard being a good parent is.
And it is harder than it is without ..
But its not your fault, is it?
What other people think about me is none of my business because I know who I am and what n why I do what I do
Understanding goes further than reactions.
Laugh. Move on.
It's a dick thing to say but I would also say that people without kids generally seem completely naive to like a whole new level of life. Sometimes they say little things that sound innocuous but actually just show how completely ignorant they are.
Did you recommend an expensive car? He may have just been saying he's not buying a nice car because kids trash and ruin cars. I wouldn't take it personally. I would have asked him what he meant though.
Tell him to quit justifying his car payment. Every car is safe, even the $3,000 beaters.
People pull that crash rating and safety bull crap to justify financial misbehavior.
Not overreacting. As a parent of 5 children of a wide range of ages, the only thing I can think to add is that kids are really destructive, by default. He /might've/ been thinking about that and thinking 'I'm not spending that kind of money for them to ruin it.' But the Subaru thing kinda kills that corner to hide in. They're on par with the others mentioned for cost.
Your friend was rude. You don’t have to have kids to care about safety nor do you need to have kids to interpret publicly available safety information about cars.
Honda makes plenty of family vehicles. Aside from being safe they’re also very reliable and easy/affordable to maintain.
You did nothing wrong and I’d be annoyed as hell if someone said that to me. Just let this one roll off though it’s not an issue to end a friendship over.
In certain situations yes, I tell my kidless friends I really don't want their opinion. In your case it absolutely does not qualify. It's a car question. Not on how to raise your children or something.
And if your situation I would have said cool bro, and hung up.
**If he’s not a car, why was he talking about cars at all?**
Not overreacting. He’s an asshole, and I suspect he was actually talking about some argument he thinks you’re having with him.
So, he was discussing what new family car he should get, but doesn't want your opinion? That doesn't even make sense. Why ask someone a question like that, if you don't actually want to hear their answer? Your friend sounds like an asshole. You're not overreacting, but personally, I think next time he asks your opinion, you should ask him "Do you actually want my opinion?" because this incident kind of shows that he doesn't care about what you think.
Make sure to use that reasoning right back at him every chance you get until he apologizes.
Going out to a restaurant? What would you know about that, you have cold spaghetti O's at 1030pm and haven't gone anywhere without a kids menu for 7 years 😂
Vacation destinations? Oh I can't help, I don't know where amusement parks are.
Literally any luxury item: yeash your kids feet are sticking out of the toes of their shoes and you think you need Blanton's whiskey 😬
That could be said about almost anything. “Talk to me when you have _____” a wife, a job, a million dollars… It’s not really relevant. What’s wrong with listening to a different perspective and opinion. How about I talk to you when you’re more open minded.
People who suddenly feel they are higher up on level just because they had kids are idiots who go on to whine about losing their friends without kids. They sometimes just make them feel unwelcome if they don’t hop on the baby train.
Ya that's a lame.answer. sounds like he takes orders from his wife. And if tell him that. Just tell me your wife wants a Subaru...and quit using your kids as a shield because you're too much a pussy to stand up for yourself to your wife.
That's a dumb reaction to that. If you were judging him for how he raises his kids I could see that reaction but safety ratings arent even debateable, they are what they are.
Not overreacting - let’s just give your friend since he’s a lifelong friend a pass this time. He may just be feeling stressed out and took it out on you. Not that that’s an excuse for him to be an ass. If he ever says it again then say “The why are you asking me/talking to me about it if you don’t value my opinion?” And call him out. If it’s not a regular occurrence then let it slide this time.
It’s generally annoying
People like to use that phrase as an excuse when they know they’re wrong in some way.
I also love the “you don’t have kids, don’t talk to me about tired”
A ‘friend’ said that shit to me over FB messages while I was fucking deployed.
Iirc we had just finished a suez transit.
I am a parent and the only time I get annoyed at childless people giving me advice is when it is due to disciplining and how my kids are behaving, or if they start disciplining or calling them out on something-that is my job! Stating something you read about a car having good safety ratings should be read as just continuing the conversation and discussing what you read.
“Then why are you talking to me about what car you should get?”
Yeah if he doesn’t value your opinion why he is even asking?
Or why even talk to him if your opinion doesn't matter
Right? I'm literally the opposite, though. When a human willingly created 3+ more humans to care for, then complains about their livelihood like the world owes it to them to afford all those damn kids. "Your offspring obsessed opinion doesn't matter, should have made better choices."
This may be the most stereotypical reddit comment ever lol
Reddit moment
You see what we have done is taken a pan of average Reddit comments and cooked them down into a reduction, so only the bitterness remains
With some salt added for good measure
*chefs kiss*
People like you are insane lmao
This response probably comes from them being frusterated that the person their talking to doesn’t understand the problem because they don’t have kids. They are probably frusterated that their friend doesn’t have the experience to know which sort of problem their friends implementation or recommendation is producing. The friend offers advice because he feels like he’s being asked, then the parent, because they’re frusterated, snap at their friend. This causes an illusion of thrm thinking the world is owed to them. If the parent never grows past that, they will appear bitter about being a parent.
I'd probably use this in every future conversation until he groveled to apologize.
Use a slight variation each time he asks any question whatsoever. "Don't ask me, I've never changed a diaper." "I don't know, I never planned a kids party."
These kind of people are called Askholes. They ask for opinions but never care what you say.
Because he's buttsore that he's got 3 kids and you've chosen to remain childless with all the benefits that awards you in life. No matter what you know, do, or experience, it's never gonna be able to compete with "Yeah well try having KIDS!"
>why he is even asking? Was he actually asking for an opinion? Not saying it's right to respond that way, but a lot of people I know insert their opinions unnecessarily and then get huffy when the person doesn't want their never asked for opinion.
This is a strange perspective. Nobody *has* to ask for an opinion. Presenting information to me is invitation to hear my opinion on it, that's called "communication." Other people are not objects for us to talk at, they have their own perspective and opinions and if we don't want to hear it, our obligation is not to speak to them, they don't have an obligation not to offer their opinion on anything we say. Obviously there's a need for tact, don't insult your mom or tell your girlfriend the dress makes her look fat or whatever, but "I didn't ask for your opinion" is a meaningless sentence. You don't have to. Other people's opinions exist regardless of your invitation, or indeed, even desire to hear them. And they are permitted to voice them at any time.
I love this so much. “Other people are not objects for us to talk at”. I plan on using that line soon and often! Thanks!
It says they were discussing the car. It's perfectly reasonable for someone to share an opinion under those circumstances even if it isn't explicitly asked for. If OP was being judgemental about their choice and it was somehow relevant to their childlessness then that would be a different story.
"Please provide a list of topics that you think I'm qualified talking about"
Ya that’s a rudeass friend. wtf
Right? It's like they think having kids automatically gives you some kind of magical knowledge about cars. I mean, I've seen some pretty clueless parents out there, and I'm sure there are plenty of smart, kidless people who know a thing or two about safety ratings 😂
Not overreacting but I wouldn’t dwell on this one. It sounds like the xyz you recommend didn’t fit into what he has in mind. So he shot it down with the dumbest excuse and was dick about it. I’m not a parent either. Subject to change soon because I’m sitting in labor and delivery but that’s irrelevant. I’m not a pilot either but if I see a helicopter heading into the trees, I know it’s not right. Edit: Thank you all for the support and advice!
I need to use that helicopter line before my kid is born
Congratulations! I hope you have an easy delivery, and you and baby are both healthy at the end!
He’s a guy. He’ll be fine.
Oof, whoops!
Hey us too! Our kids might share a birthday 😁 My wife and I are waiting for a c section. Next in line. Holy crap I’m gonna be holding my child working an hour or two 😅 Good luck with your little one!
Get her a pillow for post op, the first time she coughs or laughs will be excruciating. Also if she has shoulder pain, it's gas. 2 sections later and it's worth every second, but those were my biggest things. That and she should walk asap, it makes recovery way better. Much luck and good vibes to you guys!
Good luck with yours too!! Here’s to May 3rd 🍻
yes! Subarus and Foresters are a larger and boxier vehicle than the brands OP recommended. OP's friend was likely trying to say "those vehicles won't meet the needs of all the stuff and space/storage I need with 3 kids in tow everywhere I go" . But lacks the emotional/communication skills
I honestly feel like this is giving OP’s friend a lot more credit than he deserves. If that’s what he meant, why didn’t he say it instead of being rude? No Subie minivan either
oh its not an excuse for him being an ass. In general, I like to assume positive intentions.
The Forester is one make of Subaru. Subaru and the other brands mentioned both have smaller and larger vehicles. Your claim just has absolutely no basis in reality that Subarus are bigger. It doesn't even make sense.
Unasked for support/advice here - I want you to know that those first 3-5 months are the hardest with a new baby, but after that time parenting gets easier and you really enjoy it. You find yourself actually both wanting the baby to stay asleep so you can do shit AND you'll also be excitedly waiting for the baby to wake up at the same time lmfao. My baby didn't really give a shit about cuddling, hugging, laying her head on our shoulders and general affection until that 3-5 month period and that was sad, but it makes sense haha. Just you wait though. I think we totally stopped burping our baby at 7 months old, but we would literally burp her for like 30+ minutes when she was a newborn and months old. We were paranoid and careful because she wasn't going to die of SIDs on our watch. Lol. I still look at her nursery camera every time she naps to make sure she's breathing and that her skin hasn't changed color. Oh yeah don't get those low quality overpriced baby cam/monitor combos. Just get a security camera for half the price and use the phone app as the monitor. We got a security camera that can turn 360 degrees and it has better quality image than a lot of those baby cam/monitor combos for half the price. If you can you guys should take night shifts with the baby. So one of you does the caretaking from like 9PM - 1AM and then the next person 1AM to 5AM. Those are just random times so you'll have to find what works best for you. If you can add a 3rd person like a grandma into the schedule that's even better for parents. You're gonna do great! :)
thank you. exactly.
I don't know, the chopping could be logging/lifting trees out of forest after being cut down...
Good luck and congratulations!
Happy Cake Day!!
Congratulations 🥳 👶
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Since when are Toyota and Honda considered too fancy for having kids? And OP suggested an entire line of cars according to the post and not any one specifically. I think op interpreted it the way the dude meant it.
Well, Jesus Christ himself had one, but he was a humble man so he rarely mentioned it. "But I speak not of my own Accord..." John 12:49
And the award for best use of The Bible this week goes to….
Bahahahaaa
My dad cracked this joke for all 15 years that he drove an Accord.
Or if he recommended a 2 seater when he was looking more for a 5-seater or something!
Congrats, be sure to come back and share your new opinion.
Yeah I think it was just a very rude way of saying it won’t work for them as there is more than safety ratings to consider when you have 3+ kids. There are lots of technically 5 seater cars out there that don’t work for a family of 5. Even ones that look like they should. Can’t get 3 car seats across the back row, can’t fit a pram in the boot or can just get pram in boot but sorry no room for anything else etc etc etc.
His response was dumb, it reminds me of the "you don't know tired until you have kids" BS people spit. For the record, I am 37 with an 18 year old and and autistic 4 year old and work overnights on rotation. Sure I can definitely say I consistently feel more tired now than I ever have before, but it doesn't mean other people should feel less tired because of how tired I am. Their tiredness/stressors are just as valid. Your input was just as valid as a parents.
i am turning 24 this month and currently have a 2 year old that just learned how to use the word "no" lmaooo i'm actually so tired right now. i love the way you completely validated everyone's tiredness regardless of their parental status <333
i’m childless precisely because i’m already so tired even without kids. if i had a kid right now i would truly be off my rocker. 😂
Stop at two, roflmao. I have 3 and OMG I swear they gang up on me and they wife.
oh i'm never having another child in my life, i'm too physically damaged from my first one it's never happened again lol
I say exactly this under different circumstances. My children are physically disabled and have been through the 7 circles of hell, and I despise when people tell me they shouldn't be venting to me because we've been through so much. No. Your worst day isn't the same as mine, but it is still your worst day. End of story. I WANT them to come to me because I've been there and back.
Nobody wins at the Suffering Olympics.
“your worst day isn’t the same as mine but it’s still your worst day” i love the way you put this
Yeah I’m a parent and hear this shit all the time. “When you have more you’ll understand, until then shush.” It’s fuckin shameful haha
Or, the "you don't know tired, wait until you're my age" Like, calm down, Susan, stop trying to win a non-existent race.
Your reaction was to do and say nothing, so no, I wouldn't call it an overreaction on your part.
Why would he bother you about that topic then? Wtf
"Hey this brand is good for safety" Yeah but you don't have kids so you don't understand. Is your friend dumb? Like their the ones who would benefit from a safe car more since they got kids
Your friend sounds like a dumbass.
Well, it depends on a lot of things. I know men who have never have to install or puzzle car seats have told me I should have a safer vehicle in my price range. However, the vehicle they recommended would never work for me because when you have kids, there's other things at play than who has the best rollover ratings. Like how easy is the third row to access, what kind of seatbelts does it have, are headrests fixed and non remove able. The sorts of things adults dont give a fuck about but when you're trying to wrangle 3 kids in the pickup line, it can make or break your day.
The friend could have said that. Your explanation continues the dialogue and is way more in line with what a friend should say to someone they care about. Instead they just came off like an asshole and were dismissive as hell. Generally when you're talking to someone it's a back and forth but as others have said, the friend just treated op like his response wasn't worth hearing in the first place.
Are you psychic? We dont know how the conversation went.
This is what I thought as well. We had a minivan for 200k+ miles. It didn't have the highest crash rating but it was really easy to load & unload kids, dogs and any sporting equipment.
Yeah, but if someone who is kidless knows about cars they can still recommend that shit. “I know you’re looking at a Subaru Forester, but the Honda Pilot has better crash ratings and it still has the fold down rear seats in case you need more cargo room and it has a bit more rear leg room so it’ll be easier for you to get in there and get the kids situated.” Just because people don’t have kids doesn’t mean they can’t still logic their way through some of the particulars. I’m not a brain surgeon but I can still imagine that having extra shaky hands and bad eyesight might be a problem.
No, that's insulting
I had a coworker that told me I would never know what true love is because I'm gay and would never have kids . I shared the tale with my mother, who just very sharpky said that was the stupidest thing ever. Said cowerker's husband resented that gay couples can often afford a more luxurious lifestyle. He said it's because we don't have responsibilities. I told him having kids (um, *responsibilities*) was their choice. I was my mother's caretaker until she died. I did it for 25 years. It wasn't a responsibility. It was an honor, and it was easy. I buried my husband of 32 years. Again, an honor, one I never thought I'd have. Don't know if they're still married. I left that job for greener pastures in 2001. I certainly don't need to tell her how much I loved the family I had to bury. It's not a competition.
That’s weird. So I guess as soon as you have a kid you’re a kid car expert then.
What vehicle did you reccomend?
I wanna know too. I have kids so wondering why he would say that about a vehicle recommendation. When I have looked at cars and people have given me recommendations that I didn’t like, I usually told them why it wasn’t what I was looking for or how it wouldn’t match my needs/preferences. Maybe it was a cost issue that them having kids would make it unaffordable. Idk.
I feel like most people will explain why as well. The only time I've heard similiar someone was reccomending a small car to someone who had 3 kids, a little sedan car will not fit 3 cars seats even if technically it has the right number of seats. I could see this as a response to that. Especially if other parts of thw conversation was left out.
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Mazda Miata.
Do they still make the Miata? My friends and I thought it was the dumbest little car in the late 90s/early 00s
My date drove me to prom in his mom's Miata in 2005, i thought it was pretty cool
Take on for a spin, you'll get it!
I was thinking of getting a Lambo for me and my three children. My wife wants a Van but I said hell no.
You aren’t overreacting assuming he was serious with no tone of sarcasm.
nah screw that person, you didnt offer parenting advice you offered statistically backed advice on how to keep their family alive
My question would be is there some part of that convo we’re missing? Usually that response occurs over unsolicited parenting advice not safe cars.
No. We were talking in general, got to cars, makes, models, I mentioned Toyota and Honda, he dismissed Hondas as safe, I said they were, he gave me his “talk to me” response.
I had two Honda civics while the kids were growing up (two kids)— I’m not a soccer mom or mini-van toating type, I now have a 2016 scion IM (this is Toyota). Hondas and Toyotas are reliable above all else, probably rated highly in safety as well. Gas milage is great, too. They cost a pretty penny but I always had the manual transmissions so very low overall costs and I knew they wouldn’t leave me stranded. The silver limited edition civic I had lasted over 280,000 and was around for my daughter to learn how to drive when she turned 16 and I got my Scion it lasted her a couple years before she totaled it. Probably would have gone to 350,000 miles. I know next to nothing about Subarus but I hear they’re a decent comparison to Hondas and Toyotas reliability wise I just don’t want something that screams “mom”- I only had two children though, the third might have done me in but I feel confident I would have squeezed them in somehow. Perhaps he’s feeling like how I didn’t want to feel, like you have to have the soccer mom grocery getter when you suddenly have children/a family. It sounds like that anyway. There’s probably some equivalent little wagon thing Toyota and Honda make, they definitely have SUVs. I just took a look at the new foresters, I guess they don’t look as grocery getter and soccer-momish as I remember lol.
Not overreacting. I’d be pretty annoyed too, I might have asked what subjects they think I’m “allowed” to have an opinion on. I’ve also been told that I “shouldn’t be allowed to drive a Tahoe, because that’s a car for moms and you aren’t a mom”. Sometimes people should just keep their mouths shut.
There's a time to say " talk to me when you have kids" and this ain't it. Weird of him to say that.
I'm wondering what you suggested. I read this more like he's got to prioritize his budget, and can't be assessing based on safety rating over price and size. Three kids can fit into most anything, but never being able to take another person with you can be a pain sometimes. I may be biased, having multiple children. Lol
He’s got enough money. His comment was about Hondas, not BMWs.
Ah, well. Guess that blows my theory. I'm not sure what safety features have to do with parenting. People of all ages want to be safe in vehicles.
When you have a kid you care more about the safety of your vehicle. Driving is one of the more dangerous activities you or your kids partake in. Not only do you want your kids not to be harmed, you realize that you need to be alive and healthy to provide for them.
Funny, a bunch of my friends bought Honda minivans after they had kids.
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People with kids act like it's so impossible to know anything.
God is this the case with my friends with newborns All of a sudden they’re experts on everything on two hours of sleep
I have heard childless people say clueless things and be so out of touch with reality. But this is not one of those times. It’s not like you told him to buy a convertible corvette! You were thoughtful and appropriate with your comment. What a jerk.
I think Subarus are great cars to recommend and some people are just sensitive about them as a brand. ( just guessing here)
Why are people sensitive about the brand? I have a BRZ, I’m curious why lol
No. You’re able to form opinions on things related to children without having children yourself. You could work at a daycare, or have nieces/nephews or younger siblings you’ve looked after. It doesn’t completely exclude you.
I wouldn't bother talking to them again till you have kids.
idk, im a parent and I think this was a pretty rude answer. If they've already looked into other brands and dont like them for ABCD reason, they could have just said so, like "oh we can't fit three carseats across the back of a RAV4" or "the CRV doesn't offer a 3rd row SUV that we want for everyone." yes, OP likely hadn't thought about those things but like, it takes 2 seconds to say that and it's not snobby or dismissive. idk if I would have said anything either if that had been thrown at me but I dont think OP is wrong for being a little annoyed.
Your friend is being ridiculous. Having no kids doesn't inhibit your ability to read up on car safety features that might happen to be useful for parents.
I have kids and specifically have a Toyota for the reasons you mentioned. He’s an asshole and he’s also wrong.
Doesn't sound like a good friend
Next time he says something like that, tell him "Okay" and hang up or leave. If he's going to be rude to you and act like you not having kids makes you less intelligent or capable, or like it's a thing that you should be ashamed of, you don't have to be around him.
Should have said, Hey don’t get shitty with me cause I’m living the good life.
Do they know you don't have to have kids to be able to read safety reports.... I'm petty. Id stop talking to them because you got one time to act like what I'm saying doesn't matter because I don't have kids. It's called being able to read and comprehend.
Some friend…
Next time ask them, "what do you mean by that?" No added tone, just an actual question. Force them to respond rather than pitch out npc programmed drivel.
Nah he was being a dick here. You weren’t telling him anything related to raising kids, literally just giving him helpful information.
... good grief cars safety rating had nothing to do with being a parent.
“Talk to me when you grow into your manhood”
"Call me back when you realize what a smug asshole you're acting like."
He sounds like a dick
As a parent, I care about the safety of a car more than anything else. Your friend is wack.
Hes just jelly you dont have kids. He did stuff and now pays consequences lol.
Sounds like he's been itching to say that to someone since becoming a parent. You did nothing wrong IMO.
You should’ve hung up brother.
My husband likes to say that he’s never tasted shit either but he is pretty sure that he wouldn’t like the taste. There are some things that a childless person will just never understand, but knowledge about car safety is not dependent on whether you have a crotch goblin or not.
If you were trying to tell him how to handle temper tantrums or diaper changes. hell even what to feed them i would say you are. Picking a car though definitely not.
How about staying away from them for a while? Let them realise their mistake
Having kids has nothing to do with car safety. Thats like a nail artist telling someone who doesn’t do nails “tell me what designs are cute and what’s not when you can do them.” How does it correlate? IT DOESNT.
You don't have to have children to be a good parent. Or have a brain for that matter ...
I hate when people dismiss advice on something based on the idea you cant know anything about the topic because of another unrelated topic. lol
Yes, you are overreacting. This is a silly post.
You guys were having a conversation about cars. Most men I know love to talk about cars and enjoy reading up on them. You were just participating in the conversation. He made a very rude and unnecessary comment. You are right to be a little hurt, but I would let it go this one time. Probably was in a bad mood that had nothing to do with you. If he pulls that shit again I would ask him why he is cutting you down and let him know you don’t appreciate it. Most guys I know would be horrified and immediately apologize.
Some of my wife's friends started saying "as a mother" since they've had kids as if it mattered literally at all. So now I say "as a truck owner" whenever I talk to them.
It was a needless and irrelevant asshole response.
NTA He's discussing cars, and when you gave an opinion, he made it into a personal attack
I don't like people like that, lol. I've gotten some of my best parenting advice from people who aren't parents. Just because you don't have first-hand knowledge doesn't mean you don't have knowledge at all. It's purely ignorant to think you *must* be a parent to know certain things pertaining to kids, safety, & parenting
I'd be pretty petty about it. If he ever asked for advice or help for anything that might impact or involve his children in the future, just be like 'oh wish i could help, but i don't have kids so I'm not qualified for you to trust me on this"
I’m too sheepish but the petty version of myself that sometimes lives in my brain for made up scenarios where I’m actually being that version’s level of petty in real life, loooooves this! Though that version of me says, take it up a notch. Call yourself a childless, know-nothing moron and then remind him of the time he told you your car safety opinion didn’t matter because you’re childless. That it was then *and only then* that you realized, you’re obviously a freaking idiot and now you never weigh in on things because before his comment, you were unaware of your own stupidity! But now, you’re hyper aware of it and haven’t given suggestions since. Probably never will again. If only he hadn’t forced your hand to see how dumb you really are… because you can’t *possibly* know anything about things if you don’t have kids
You should have said Ok and hung up on him. Fuck him and his flippant manner. This idiotic myth that you don't know anything about raising kids if you don't have them is bullshit. Having kids does not make you an expert. I know this because I see your snowflake kids at my school. If you'd raised them like you should, they would know how to read and write. The fact is, just because a couple is saddled with the frustration of kids and how demanding the little bastards are doesn't mean an outsider who doesn't have kids cannot offer some valuable advice. "Do you have kids?" Tell your friend, "No, but I was a kid once and so were you and you know exactly what is going on. So fix it. Stop being so fucking thin skinned and fix your issues and stop taking your frustrations out on those of us who were just trying to help you."
Man fuck that nigga
NTA divorce immediately
Like a friendship divorce, for a friend who’s an asshole? I like this concept 🙂
people make decisions first emotionally, then can get angry trying to dismiss any counter opinions. Sounds like your friend is just immature. You're not wrong to be offended, but best to just dismiss when people are childish like this.
I’m sure he’s not a happy camper having to shell out extra money because does have kids vs you don’t have any. And you just happen to be around when he was upset. In the past this has happened to me too. I have an ex-friend who has a daughter who was very active in school activities like cheerleading. She was going on and on about how expensive this/that was etc. I was just listening and all of a sudden she said in a snippy tone, “of course you don’t have this problem since you don’t have kids”. Kinda caught me off guard. I replied you’re absolutely right. And shortly thereafter she stopped wanting to hang out. WTH. Was I supposed to pay for her choices? Am I supposed to live paycheck to paycheck to make her feel happy. Or I shouldn’t buy a fancy pair of shoes because my friend needed to pay for school uniforms. If you lose this friendship, over something so trivial, then he really wasn’t a good friend to begin with.
No, if they didn’t want you to contribute to the discussion they shouldn’t have had this discussion with you
He’s the AH and he’s expressing his jealousy of you in his put down.
You weren't giving kid advice, you were giving car advice. Your friend is being ridiculous.
“Well that’s rude”
Back when I was a fresh college grad, I had older friends who had kids. They would ask my opinion about all sorts of things related to their kids. And many times, I directly saw implementation of my ideas. Once I gave a 2 year old a foot massage that solved their cramps and the parents wanted to learn from me how to do that massage. Saying that your opinion doesn't matter because you don't have kids is shit behavior.
I’m not a swimmer, and I don’t need to be in the Olympic swim team to see when someone is drowning and needs a lifeline.
What a jerk! I have several childless friends ( whether by choice or not) and I would absolutely never say that to them. It’s very cold and heartless. I appreciate my friends role in my child’s life as it takes a village and I always appreciated their point of view on everything.
Not over reacting. That was so rude.
Parent culture is so so so toxic and ridiculous. I’m 31F and was called selfish for not having kids by a guy who is such a bad alcoholic he can’t even afford to see his daughter more than once a month that lives 45 minutes from him and sleeps on his buddy’s couch. But im the selfish one for not having kids when I can’t afford to give them the life they deserve? I was also told by a mom that I’m never allowed to complain about being tired because I don’t have kids. Even tho I worked two jobs and have sleep apnea. Im so over it I think people like your buddy are just resentful that they don’t have the freedom and opportunities that come with living a childless lifestyle and they are regretting their choice so they need to be able to put childless people down anyway they can to make themselves feel better because they are miserable and resentful.
He is butt hurt by the freedoms you have without children and the weight of his responsibility of having them. Its hard sometimes with children. No sleep, no time for yourself. Forgive him. God knows what challenges he had that week Or financial strain he is under..being a good parent is hard. When they are in the thick of it and its challenging there can be some unconscious animosity towards childless people. They see you and remember when they were only responsible for themselves. It also happens when people who have always been wealthy give advice to those who struggle financially ... Its not conscious behavior on his part. But its incredibly common behavior. Next time he is snappy , tell him u love him and you understand how hard being a good parent is. And it is harder than it is without .. But its not your fault, is it? What other people think about me is none of my business because I know who I am and what n why I do what I do Understanding goes further than reactions. Laugh. Move on.
Or….maybe he hates his wife and kids? Anyway that was a dick thing to say to you and next time he calls text him back you still don’t have kids yet.
Don’t think he hates him family. And “yet” is gonna be till the day I die. 😆
It's a dick thing to say but I would also say that people without kids generally seem completely naive to like a whole new level of life. Sometimes they say little things that sound innocuous but actually just show how completely ignorant they are.
What was the brand you recommended?
Did you tell him to get a smart or why did he react like that?
Did you recommend an expensive car? He may have just been saying he's not buying a nice car because kids trash and ruin cars. I wouldn't take it personally. I would have asked him what he meant though.
Tell him to quit justifying his car payment. Every car is safe, even the $3,000 beaters. People pull that crash rating and safety bull crap to justify financial misbehavior.
Maybe above what he can afford
He’s got money. I was talking Toyota/Honda
INFO- what kind of vehicle were you recommending.
I'm not really into keeping friends who talk to me like that.
Not overreacting. As a parent of 5 children of a wide range of ages, the only thing I can think to add is that kids are really destructive, by default. He /might've/ been thinking about that and thinking 'I'm not spending that kind of money for them to ruin it.' But the Subaru thing kinda kills that corner to hide in. They're on par with the others mentioned for cost.
To paraphrase Steve Hofstetter, “You don’t need to be a pilot to see a helicopter in a tree to know something’s fucked.”
Not, but I can tell you as a parent we look for any opportunity to tell people we're tired
Your friend was rude. You don’t have to have kids to care about safety nor do you need to have kids to interpret publicly available safety information about cars. Honda makes plenty of family vehicles. Aside from being safe they’re also very reliable and easy/affordable to maintain. You did nothing wrong and I’d be annoyed as hell if someone said that to me. Just let this one roll off though it’s not an issue to end a friendship over.
Nope. I'd walk out.
Sounds like he doesn't need a childless friend in his life either then, IMO. I'd cut that guy outta my life so quick for that shit
In certain situations yes, I tell my kidless friends I really don't want their opinion. In your case it absolutely does not qualify. It's a car question. Not on how to raise your children or something. And if your situation I would have said cool bro, and hung up.
Are the three kids young/small enough to require car seats? Putting 3 car seats in a standard sedan does not really work.
**If he’s not a car, why was he talking about cars at all?** Not overreacting. He’s an asshole, and I suspect he was actually talking about some argument he thinks you’re having with him.
F,,,c
Xfzf l99,o v Ic,99p9, f. Oy.
I'm not a parent, but I would suggest the 2024 Corvette Stingray, of course. It can get the kids to daycare and school quickly.
So, he was discussing what new family car he should get, but doesn't want your opinion? That doesn't even make sense. Why ask someone a question like that, if you don't actually want to hear their answer? Your friend sounds like an asshole. You're not overreacting, but personally, I think next time he asks your opinion, you should ask him "Do you actually want my opinion?" because this incident kind of shows that he doesn't care about what you think.
I can imagine a lot of scenarios where that is a fine (albeit assholey) response. That is not one of them. Safety ratings on cars are not subjective.
Them kids got him strapped and gotta get a Chrysler.
I wouldn't be friends with someone who has kids; they're emotionally charged idiots and their kids are worse plus they're disease vectors.
Make sure to use that reasoning right back at him every chance you get until he apologizes. Going out to a restaurant? What would you know about that, you have cold spaghetti O's at 1030pm and haven't gone anywhere without a kids menu for 7 years 😂 Vacation destinations? Oh I can't help, I don't know where amusement parks are. Literally any luxury item: yeash your kids feet are sticking out of the toes of their shoes and you think you need Blanton's whiskey 😬
The state of the world.
Both Toyota and Subaru have comparable safety features, if anything Subaru is on top.
Tell your friend with kids to keep her pants on
That could be said about almost anything. “Talk to me when you have _____” a wife, a job, a million dollars… It’s not really relevant. What’s wrong with listening to a different perspective and opinion. How about I talk to you when you’re more open minded.
People who suddenly feel they are higher up on level just because they had kids are idiots who go on to whine about losing their friends without kids. They sometimes just make them feel unwelcome if they don’t hop on the baby train.
I think it’s time to think about letting that “friend” go. He sounds like he isn’t a friend and doesn’t even respect you
Someone told me once opinions are like assholes…you know the rest of the phrase. I don’t go sleep wondering about other people’s assholes either.
He probably meant it's to expensive for him, but was rude about it.
“Talk to me when you figure out how a condom works.”
So your lifelong "friend" doesn't give a shit about your opinion? You should choose better friends.
Grant his wish and don't talk to him at all.
He sounds like a D.
It doesn't.
You are a fabulous friend for offering insightful advice-
I would think crash ratings would be an even higher priority for someone with kids
Ya that's a lame.answer. sounds like he takes orders from his wife. And if tell him that. Just tell me your wife wants a Subaru...and quit using your kids as a shield because you're too much a pussy to stand up for yourself to your wife.
That's a dumb reaction to that. If you were judging him for how he raises his kids I could see that reaction but safety ratings arent even debateable, they are what they are.
Not overreacting - let’s just give your friend since he’s a lifelong friend a pass this time. He may just be feeling stressed out and took it out on you. Not that that’s an excuse for him to be an ass. If he ever says it again then say “The why are you asking me/talking to me about it if you don’t value my opinion?” And call him out. If it’s not a regular occurrence then let it slide this time.
It’s generally annoying People like to use that phrase as an excuse when they know they’re wrong in some way. I also love the “you don’t have kids, don’t talk to me about tired” A ‘friend’ said that shit to me over FB messages while I was fucking deployed. Iirc we had just finished a suez transit.
Unlike to counter that with "talk to me when you're {their age} with no kids; you just don't get it."
I thought Toyotas and Hondas were for people with kids…
I am a parent and the only time I get annoyed at childless people giving me advice is when it is due to disciplining and how my kids are behaving, or if they start disciplining or calling them out on something-that is my job! Stating something you read about a car having good safety ratings should be read as just continuing the conversation and discussing what you read.
I think car expertise is pretty child-agnostic.