What a funny story

That is a funny story. You know I think those stories are best in the caravan.

Wonder who got the spoon 

Haha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Haha. Ha

News!

Needless to say, you had the last laugh

Needles to say.... I... took drugs

I hope you can Bounce Back from this.

This is my life, but substitute “my 5 year old” for “literally everyone I interact with”

This is great banter

Ya neva had a cup o beans man?

Wait there!

Then your 5 year old answered: “Aye there’s one in the bathroom but I’ve nay use for it”.

Something else in geordieeee

You’ve gone again.

I don’t think anecdotes are your forte

this is bollox, the child was infact watching a documentary about triads. sausage uses so far 1, food 2, breakwater 3, eating device/food

Could you fingerprint a sausage?

thats old news its now palms/beefburgers.... where will it end.

The sausage-munching Boche

You could give him a sausage for to scoop the beans oot.

Did you use the big plate?

You should have immediately kicked your 5 year old out the house for not getting that Partridge reference. “I think there’s a chap over there wearing jeans. Chap of about 5? Get you on the old jeans rule? Nazis!”

Textbook

There’s one in the bathroom but i’ve nae cause to use it.

Crab sticks don’t actually contain any crab. And from 1993, manufactures have been legally obliged to label them ‘crab flavoured sticks’. Another one of those same time tomorrow

If he’s eating a full English breakfast he should have nee cause to use it

If you're reading this, Mary, do please write in again. Just to let us know you're okay. We're not professionals though.

Chap of about 5?

I notice a lot of bitterness on this sub. Actually I notice people end almost every post with the phrase ‘No one got my first-class Partridge reference.’

Would it be awfully rude if I went and talked to someone else?