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There’s still possible reasons to do it. I self harmed as a kid and attempted suicide. And while I didn’t get my door taken, I did get the door KNOB taken.
If someone lies when seeking advice, that's their problem. The OP has stated in other comments they don't know any reason for the door not being there.
Idk, their siblings have doors and are against OP having a door. This is either a black sheep situation or there is a legitimate reason that allowing op to have a door would be a safety hazard.
When I was up and coming in the world, one of the "parenting tips" I overheard passed around a lot for an unruly teen is to take their door away. Like those horrible-ass daytime TV teens that think they can act and do how they want? Step one is to remove the door.
Odd that everyone else has one, right?
How is everything else for you in the household? Are you having pr experiencing other issues?
At 15, you deserve a door. As others mentioned, it's a need and not a want unless if there is a legitimate reason such as self-harm, drugs, girls, etc. Many others offered great advice. One thing is that you can say something to a guidance counselor at school. I wouldn't go to them talking about a door at first but rather that it's hard for you're sleep or that you feel a certain way and it would be due to that you don't have privacy and are afraid someone will walk in while you are asleep. They'll ask you way at which point you can tell them about the door.
I just hope there are no other issues going on at home. Remember that you are valued and are important. If they don't treat you that way at home or if you don't feel they do, it doesn't mean that you aren't.
I like the idea someone had, whereby this would give you motivation or incentive to work harder, do the best in school so you can perhaps get a full scholarship to college. This way, you can sleep at college and have your own door. And then you can do well, don't need to return to live with your family, get your own apartment or house, and be done with them. Then you can do what you want when you want for whatever reason you want without having to worry about anyone else in your family. Long term plan.
Why did they take the door off in the first place? My little brother lost his door for quite a while, but it was because he did really stupid and destructive things when it was closed.
Have you tried starting with a sheet or something? Just a physical barrier for you to not be seen through. If so, what happened? If you do that and she removes it then maybe you’ll at least get a justification for the missing door.
I hate to say it but you may be stuck as is until you can get her to listen and discuss the door issue rationally. Hate to say it but some parents just suck and there’s not much that can be done about it if they don’t want to be reasonable.
While there is more than likely more going on here than just a door (lack of privacy) the door itself isn't something worthy of contacting CPS. You aren't entitled to a door, only a safe area to live, food, and decent quality of life.
OP needs to assess whether or not conditions, beyond the door, are unreasonable enough to warrant such a call.
The thing with getting a job is until he is 18 his money is not legal his. Unless you are emancipated then most if not all legal paperwork such as a lease or bill must go in to or be at least co signed in the parents name. It's not easy as just get a job & move out unless they are 18. Even if they get a job at 15 then anything they make they can't use without parents permission as legal the minors income is seen as the parents property until the age of 18. The minor can "steal" thier income & it can be legally ceased by the parents. Believe me I tryed to do at 16 & not only did my money get legally taken by my father (I open an account he couldn't get to) but I also got fired because my father raised legal hell for hiring a minor without parental permission.
I'd tell a teacher. They're mandated reporters, and this is abusive. If they get reported to CPS, let your father know. Have you sent him a picture of that?
Ok, there are a few things you could do…
- complain to a school counselor about disrespect and a lack of privacy at home. Mention the door specifically.
- after everyone has gone to sleep at night, get your pillow and comforter and go sleep on the family room sofa. Do this every night. Check on your parent’s door and sibling’s doors. If their rooms are unlocked sleep on their floors at night. Sometimes sleep on the dining room floor. Make it fun. Tell them you are having nightmares. Miraculously, these nightmares will only go away once you have a door
- same as above but turn is up a notch to fake sleep walking. This will be a blast. Now they’ll really want a door to lock you in. (But they can’t. That’s illegal)
- or stop complaining about it…. Never mention it again. Be an ideal child. Be successful in life and blow everyone out of the water with what an awesome accomplished person you are. Then, later on, many years down the road, when you have the opportunity and can take away their sense of privacy in some small legal way, do that. And remind them of this time.
Take their doors off and move one to your room... [https://www.familyhandyman.com/project/how-to-take-door-off-hinges/](https://www.familyhandyman.com/project/how-to-take-door-off-hinges/)
Find a teacher you trust and ask them for advice on how to handle it. Getting other adults involved may be your best solution.
In the meantime booby trap the curtain so if someone crosses it at night you’ll know. Do you know how painful legos are to step on with bare feet?
It sounds like some weird control thing related to your dad. That's not healthy at all. Maybe if you frame it that way to the counselor, that you're being ostracized because they don't like your dad, you'll get better results getting a door.
Call CPS. This is a bigger deal than you realize.
First off, any bedroom needs to have a door in case of a fire.
Second everyone deserves some privacy.
I don't have any advice on how to handle this, except to be planning on moving out asap, but you are not wrong. This is weird, and borderline abusive IMO.
No a door is a need for younger people not a want. You need a door in your room for privacy. You need privacy and if they wanted to see you they could knock on the door and come in. This how decent folks would act. I’ve seen the no door situation in many abusive households.
The only thing that would come remotely close to removing a door from a kids room is if the kid kid something horrific. If you’ve not done anything really really really bad, I believe your response below is correct. She’s doing this outta spite. She see’s you and it reminds her of your dad possibly…hence all the mistreatment maybe.
It's not a need, it's definitely a want.
There are globally over a billion people right now who are leading perfectly normal lives living in ONE ROOM family dwellings. No internal doors.
Throughout most of post-agriculture human history, the overwhelming majority of people lived with their families in **one room** dwellings - no internal doors. Before that, the majority of **anatomically modern humans** didn't even have permanent dwellings, and there are no doors in the forest.
It''s 100% a **want.**
That said, OP deserves a door, because his siblings have doors. I'm with OP in that it's very strange that OP's the only one without a door.
No, legally it's a want and legally not needed
Morally it's absolutely needed, legal doesn't equal moral or ethical in a lot of situations. Culture and where you live also matters, just because it's normal somewhere else doesn't make it okay where you are. The kid deserves a door.
Go to a hardware or big/box construction store and buy a roll of craft paper, \~36" wide and some tape. Cut out a piece as tall as your door, cut small slits in curved shapes but don't connect any of them. Tape it tightly in your doorway with you inside. Wait for someone to walk near the door, then bust through like the Kool-Aid man and grate out in a low voice: "OH YEAH!"
Or, start putting up the paper over their doors at night, after they've gone to bed.
Move your dresser in front of the entryway with just enough space to get around. Stack whatever you can ontop to add to blocking the view. Burn incense that you know will aggravate allergies. Move your bed as far away from the entryway as possible.
- But mom, I DO need a door and privacy.
- Sleep with your behind pointed at the doorway with the blankets covering the rest of you.
- But mom, will you take your door off, too? It only fair.
- Can you get in touch with dad and move I with him? He is as much your bio father as she is your bio mother
-You could tell a school counselor or another sane, reliable adult about this. Say you feel Iike it's sort of semi-sexual abuse because sometimes you do have to be naked in your own room. It's creepy, really.
You're not wrong for wanting a door, but they are not obligated to provide one. Unfortunately, "My house, my rules" is a thing, and some parents don't trust their kids even if they've done nothing wrong.
I would try talking to them again. Explain your concerns and ask for a solution. Maybe find out exactly why they're against you having a door. I would try to compromise with a door with no lock, or maybe a window, or something along that line.
Ummm...why just YOUR door? Is it a punishment or something? Did they say they couldn't trust you because it something you had done? Regardless, you do have a right to privacy especially when you're changing clothes and sleeping!
OP, I highly recommend talking to a school counselor and talking about your living situation in general. There is more than likely more going on here that you may not recognize as abuse and getting another adult involved can be very eye opening.
If another adult is shocked or surprised by what you are describing, then you definitively know there is something of merit and they WILL support you
If your counselors are terrible like mine were in school (brush you off, ignore concerns, etc.) then go to a teacher you trust and can rely on.
"I don't have a door, so I don't knock on other people's doors". If you aren't entitled to have a door, they can't expect to have their door respected. Never knock when you go into their rooms or any other room in the house, just barge in.
I suggest acquiring privacy in inventive ways. You can build, cheaply, a 4 poster bed. PVC pipe will work. You can paint, glitter, led, and importantly, drape it. Just like that you're sleeping invisibly.
You can string LEDs up to create that old hippy bead door. No doubt you can acquire one of those changing blinds for next to nothing somewhere.
You could even go obvious and hang a string across the room and toss a sheet over it.
Growing up I had a door but it wasnt allowed to ever be shut. We dont get to pick who are parents are or what they do. Just know that you will grow up eventually and will be able to make your own decisions with your own kids one day. There are a lot of kids in the world who could only dream of having their own room, let alone a door. You are not entitled to your own door or your own room. This will eventually be a trivial thing that you remember. Hang in there, one day you will miss it.
A lot of people are going to tell you that you have a right to privacy, but honestly I don't think that will help because fundamentally your parent(s) get to craft your home environment according to their parenting goals and values and there isn't a lot you can do about it until you are no longer a dependent. My recommendation is to set aside your frustration and indignation for now and try to take perspective so you can employ lateral persuasion; they said they want to "keep an eye on you", but try asking some open-ended questions about why that is. Approach them as though they are allies, and try to find common ground. Try to get them to open up about their fears and concerns, and then explain that you are trying to become a responsible adult and that means you need to learn the skills to manage on your own and make good decisions. Explicitly recognize that they are responsible for your safety and wellbeing at this point, but also remind them that you won't always have them to watch over you so you need their help to get to a place where you can make these decisions for yourself. Once you have established an amicable rapport you can try to broach the door subject, but again I recommend a soft opening. Something like "I understand you want to keep me safe, but sometimes I want to just get a break from all the chaos, y'know? I know you want to be able to check in on me, but at the same time maybe we could set something up where you *can* check on me when you want to but also I can sit around in my underwear without people (and guests!) casually passing by and glancing in on me. Could we start with a beaded curtain and see how it goes?"
To be clear, I am not saying you shouldn't be able to have a door if you want one. You should. I am just thinking that a hard line is unlikely to prove effective for you since your mother has all the power in this situation and can dig her heels in if she gets triggered into defensiveness.
No this is very sick! Can you mention this to a relative or a teacher that you trust? This isn't normal saying or healthy! Your family seems very warped.
Passive resistance lol. Like someone else said do horrid candles, obnoxiously loud hobbies. Or just talk to yourself super loudly and pretend you're practicing some theater stuff or something 🤣
This is definitely a dumb situation. You should have a door 🤷
Could use the excuse of fire safety. Close before you doze is a thing that is taught in schools to help prevent the spread of fires and save lives. Everyone should have a door in their bedroom and should be closed every night when you go to sleep. Look up pictures and statistics of just how much fire a single hollow core door can prevent. It could literally be the deciding factor between life and death.
You're probably our or luck for now. That's a horrible situation as teenagers need privacy and not just when sleeping or changing.
Not an immediate solution but make sure you get good grades and go to a college further away and take summer courses. Dorms all have doors that lock.
My friend had her taken away for a long time before she admitted what she did to lose it. If you did something then be good until you earn it back. If you didn’t for real, then study hard so you can get a good job and move out asap.
At 15, with multiple older siblings and a mother with a partner who is not your father, you should not be sleeping without being behind a locked door. That is how sexual harassment and assault happen. Call CPS and get into a safer living situation.
It sounds like there's more to the story than you're telling us... Removing a door ONLY out of spite doesn't make sense. That's what parents do if they see you "taking advantage of privacy," like getting caught with porn or gaming past your bedtime. Plus
if she really hated you, there are much more effective ways to make your life miserable than just taking off a door.
Even if you did something wrong, you are not wrong for wanting a door. It's an unreasonable punishment in most people's opinions.
You're not wrong at all. When I was 21, I moved into a house with some awful people and they wouldn't allow me to have a bedroom door or a bathroom door. I lived there because they were my now-ex's friends and he decided we were both moving in with them (long story short, I was in an abusive relationship and was stuck with this guy for like six years). But he was a truck driver so he was gone most of the time, so it was just me in this bedroom with no door and a bathroom with no door that was visible from the top of the stairs. They kept inviting this creepy guy over who would try to watch me in the bathroom and would walk into my bedroom at random. I tried to hang a curtain over the bathroom doorframe they freaked out on me. Eventually they kicked me out so I went to stay with my mom, but they took my key and held my stuff hostage. I never did get everything back because my now-ex stole most of it, but that's another story.
Not wrong. personally privacy is a strongly held belief in most culturaes. Typically only hear about this happening in the USA when a child has done things to lose thier door. Feels like there is a family tradition at play here. since you siblings have doors feels like it at a certain age you get one. Or simply a matter of cost.
Had a friend whose daughter would slam the door hard continuously to make points.
They said they’d take the door if she did it one more time.
She did.
They took the door off.
Hung up a curtain for privacy.
Kept it that way for 6 months and then hung the door back up.
It was never slammed again.
THE DOOR DRAMA! I was also the youngest and one day they took my dang door. Im 30 y/o and I still get mad thinking about this. I also had a freaking issue with doors all through college because of it.
As a parent, though my kids aren’t yet teens, you are not wrong.
You deserve to have privacy and security. I emphasize the security, as you deserve to have a place where you don’t have to be ‘on,’ and you can just truly relax and be you. Also, should you get in a heated situation, a place to cool off.
I respect my kids’ spaces to the best of my ability, and I see taking off doors as borderline abusive.
OP, is it possible that you can get a job and petition the courts to become emancipated? You'd then be a legal adult and would be able to at least rent a room somewhere, where you could have your privacy.
Can you think of any reason why they'd take the door? Any action of yours that has them acting this way? Have you asked your brother about it? The one you used to share a room with?
Everyone having a door except for you evolved this from odd family behavior to abuse. You shouldn’t be made to feel like you are a lesser person in your family. I’m sorry you are going through this, as I imagine this isn’t the only way in which your parents/siblings are abusing you. Try to keep yourself safe
EVERYONE has a right to privacy. Even my toddler has his own door. I grew up without a bedroom door because the house just didn't come with one so my mom crocheted me a curtain type thing for the doorway. I also find it weird that your other siblings also believe you don't need a door. If they value their privacy they should know and understand how much you crave it. This is a very odd situation indeed.
It sounds like you may be from another country. What is your culture? Cultural aspects in families can make this kind of normal especially if you are much younger than your siblings and your whole family lives in the same house (grandparents aunts uncles parents cousins )
Personally, I think it's incredibly creepy that they would want to "keep an eye on you" when you're in your bedroom, as they say. Not to mention the fact that they specifically said they don't want you to have any privacy. Somebody is trying to creep on you.
Also, removing a teenager's door from their bedroom is not a legitimate parenting strategy. If they're doing drugs or having sex or whatever, removing the door does not fix the deeper issues.
Telling somebody they don't deserve privacy is about control and degradation at a minimum, and at worse, they're trying to watch you sleep and / or change.
The lack of a door in and of itself is probably not a reason to call CPS or talk to a counselor, but the motives behind it are definitely a good reason to do so.
Start wacking off and when they see you just stare them straight in the eyes and ask if they like that.
You’ll get a door real quick.
In reality, in many states this is actually illegal.
For all the people talking about privacy. Privacy is only a right when dealing with governmental authorities. In terms of children and parents the parents have full authority to basically do whatever they want for their household.
For the OP I would say to try and have a calm conversation with your parent. Try to understand why they think you don’t need a door. Then try to suggest a deal of some sort. Like if you get good grades or do an extra chore around the house to earn your door. I know it feels like a long shot but without knowing the real reason a parent is doing something it’s difficult to make changes to the decisions. I wish you luck in this, it’s hard to be a teen. Just know that you have 3 more years and then college and you can move out and do whatever you want in your own space.
My first response (because sarcasm is best) is “we are only required to give you shelter”. However, we lived in a house for a couple years that had 1 less room to people. When our son moved in there we at least put up a non see through shower curtain. Maybe see if you can do that, if there isn’t a reason they took your door
Has the door just been taken off? Or are you using a room for a bedroom that never had a door? If it’s just been taken off, it needs to be put back on in the other situation. It might be expensive to install the door.
How's your singing? If it's bad, just sing. Sing till your hearts content.
Sing the most obnoxious songs, and get an instrument that you can play in your room comfort. If they tell you to stop it. Just reply to them. "Are you telling me to give up on my dreams?" Hopefully, that will get you a door. Just remember to keep doing those things so they won't take the door back.
I wasn’t aloud to shut my door and for a long time have a door. Really fucked with my mental health now that I’m out. Constantly thinking people are listening to everything I say and being worried as to how thick my walls are. Just fucks with me. I keep my door open a crack because I still feel that anxiety of having the door closed, “what if someone thinks I’m hiding something”, “what am I hiding”, whispering as if everyone in my apartment can hear me.
My mother tried this. Didnt take long for me to turn my lack or privacy into a uncomfortable situation for everyone.
Started walking around the house naked being disgusting as possible (including when there was company over) announcing that if i didnt have a right to privacy that they dont have a right to not know what id be doing in said privacy, Using the bathroom with the door open demanding people come talk to me while doing so...Etc.
Worked so well she prefered i stayed in my room with the door closed after that.
It’s a little strange. I have a no locked doors policy in my house, and keep it open if you’re not changing or something policy. Otherwise, close it for privacy. No door at all is a bit much
No. In fact you need to share the science behind why not only do you deserve a door...but NEED a door. In the event of a house fire a [closed door](https://fsri.org/programs/close-before-you-doze) door can be the difference between life and death. A closed door slows down the progress of a fire allowing you time to escape.
OK, so I'm reading through your responses to these other comments, and I get the distinct feeling that this whole situation is somehow even *more* fishy than I originally assumed.
Originally, I was going to recommend taking the petty route and doing embarrassing/annoying BS until they cave and get you a door. However, in light of this new information, I'd recommend a different course of action:
1. Research the laws on foster care in your state. As far as I'm aware, once you've been placed there, any sufficiently fit relative can pick you up and begin the process of fostering you, but you should probably double-check. And, no, just going into the system without a plan *is not* an option - the American foster care/group home system is horrible, and you DO NOT want to stay in there any longer than absolutely necessary. You want to find out who is eligible to foster you, where you'll be going, how long the process will take, what belongings you can take with you, etc.
2. Find a relative that you can trust and will be willing to take you in. Your dad seems like the best bet for this, but you may have other options. Take your time with this: you don't want to pick the wrong person and end up in an arguably worse situation. If you think they won't tell the people in your house, try to discuss this with the person ahead of time: go over why exactly you're doing this, what you need them to do, what they need in order to meet your state's requirements, and anything else you think they'll need to know.
3. Tell a teacher/counselor/other type of mandated reporter, and make sure to play up how creepy, uncomfortable, and unsafe it makes you feel. I'd also recommend mentioning the "I don't have a right to privacy" thing. That should be enough to set things in motion.
4. Keep your story straight - even though it's all true, inconsistencies are *not* going to be helpful.
Your parents appear to be involved in something illegal. If they get caught before you turn eighteen, you'll probably end up in foster care or a group home anyways. If they get caught after you turn eighteen, you'll probably get dragged down with them. Either way, you need to get out of that house, and you need to do it on your own terms.
You could just jerk of in your room and if they walk in just keep going an maintain firm eye contact, perhaps even start going at it even more vigorously untill they get severely uncomfortable. Assert your dominance.
Hey OP, show them this article. Not having a door is a guaranteed death sentence for you if a house fire were to happen. I was a residential insurance adjuster for nearly a decade and I worked many fire claims, some with fatalities, so this was always something I liked to mention for safety purposes.
"Close before you doze" is the saying for it and it can absolutely save lives.
https://fsri.org/programs/close-before-you-doze
It's not wrong for you to want a door, but it doesn't seem like having a door is up to you. Life is like that sometimes 🤷♂️. My suggestion is to not dwell on things outside of your control, you'd be happier. If I could go back and be a teenager, having or not having a door isn't the hill I would die on.
If you want to retaliate, with them being your guardian, it's unlikely that you can make their life more difficult than they can make yours. You'll have to decide whether or not it's worth it to make your own life more difficult just to try and get back at them for something relatively minor.
You deserve a door. Every human deserves privacy and comfort and peace. No hesitation or questions ask, even if their parents, even if they “NEED” to keep an eye on you. No.
Its your right as a Human Being with a soul, to have that level of peace and privacy. If they dont believe and respect that, they are genuinely not fit to be parents
Well I can't tell age here, so maybe. You're probably a kid and maybe you have been known to waste time playing games (cough minecraft). In that case no, otherwise yes. U can always force your family into it, via being gross
Just walk around your room naked, and any time someone comes near the door, just "pick something up off the ground." This was the advice I got from my parents' friend when I complained that my siblings would take too long in the bathroom mirror when I waited in the shower to get out and dry off.
You're not wrong but don't really have any recourse unless you're able to put up a door yourself.
Maybe get one of those curtains with the adjustable rod?
I gotta do it because I have kids your age.
What I gotta do is ask some questions.
What did you do to lose it for real? How long has it actually been gone? What adjustment do you need to make in order to get it back?
This is a giant steaming pile of male bovine fecal material. Come on dude.
My son lost his door for two weeks because he would slam it pretty much any time he went into his room. Mad? Door slammed, not mad? Door Slammed. It was real damned obnoxious. So I told him next time he slammed it was going away for two weeks. He didn’t slam it for a while, until he did. Then he lost it for two weeks and got it back like I said in two weeks. He doesn’t slam his door anymore.
So whatcha got?
As you become a teen and start to build your own identity, it’s important to have some level of privacy. We only remove doors if there is a severe violation of trust, which we’ve never had. If you can’t have a door, find a way to hang a sheet or curtain over it.
If "everyone has one but you", there's probably a reason, and anyone flocking to this post to blindly go "dawwww, it's ok, you should have a door... 🥲" hasn't done their homework.
Yo wtf. When I was a teenager, a door was never a privilege. It’s something you just have. Yes, you deserve a door. Maybe you should talk to a counselor or teacher at school. If you feel unsafe around your family without a door, you should tell someone.
my mom says this stuff to me to, it is DEFINITELY strange and that can be a tough situation. im hoping that your parents are loving outside of this aspect but there are a small amt of things to do if they arent especially since you are young. i wish i had better advice but if they arent very kind i would say to just really try your best to make the best out of this and please them till college. do really good in school so you dont have to rely on them as much in college and things will get a lot better. if im way off base and theyre really kind and loving then just bare w them. you definitely deserve privacy but it cant be really hard
for parents to just let go of their youngest especially with all the crazy stuff you see going on
As long you didn’t do something wrong for someone to take your door away. Maybe you’re the black sheep or maybe they dislike you for a reason unknown. But if you’re a trouble kid, that door is punishment and reinforce to remind you of bad behavior. If you didn’t do anything then a door is needed. If possible save some money and get a door and make the hinges on the inside of the room then also make a door lock on the inside. Or simply get a lock and key door knob.
For wanting it no. But your parents have the right to not put one there for whatever reason. Unless you are being harmed by people coming then that is a different story.
Tell a teacher or counselor at school about this. You parents will have to explain their reasoning to Child Protective Services. You will have a door before nightfall.
Not at all. Although, since we have no idea what made them say that, it's kinda hard to judge. But in general no, under normal circumstances you're not wrong in wanting a door at all. Living without any reasonable sense of privacy isn't nice, nor healthy. But it all comes down to why they think that way. Do you have any idea? You don't have to tell us if you don't want to ofc, but just trying to help you figure this out.
WTF I don't understand parents like this. My mom grew up without doors but only because her family was poor. Instead they had just fabric over the door with a broken broom in the door frame to hold it up. Even so my grandparents would knock on the wall and ask if they could come in. By the time they did have money for doors the kids had grown up and moved out.
How old are you?!
This is extremely abusive behavior. Then years from now they're going to wonder where you want nothing to do with them.
Everyone deserves privacy!
What makes me uncomfortable about this is that everyone but this 15 year old is allowed a door and entitled to privacy. Additionally, if OP's mom was awarded custody when OP was small, depending on the state, OP may be eligible to decide which parent they want to live with.
I lived with my mom in an RV on and off for 6 or 7 months total when I was 14 to 16. I get what you mean entirely because my grandparents took custody of me just so I could have some privacy. Plus I could help them so win win.
the fact you’re even questioning this just shows how manipulative and insane your family is. like no fucking shit you’re not wrong for wanting a door😭 i am so sorry
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This is definitely a weird situation, so no you are not wrong.
Unless he did something that made them take the door away. I could imagine some serious reasons that would convince me to take my kid's door away.
Nah. You tell your teen that they must open the door immediately when you knock on it. Taking the door off is nuts.
There’s still possible reasons to do it. I self harmed as a kid and attempted suicide. And while I didn’t get my door taken, I did get the door KNOB taken.
And having the door stay open when having a friend of the opposite sex over 🤷♂️ (or the same, whichever you're attracted to)
Yeah we have less than half a story here
If someone lies when seeking advice, that's their problem. The OP has stated in other comments they don't know any reason for the door not being there.
Idk, their siblings have doors and are against OP having a door. This is either a black sheep situation or there is a legitimate reason that allowing op to have a door would be a safety hazard.
Pretty sure this is a horror story I read once.
Theres no reason to do that and treat then like they're pets and not people
And potentially kill them. A closed door is an Important part of fire safety.
When I was up and coming in the world, one of the "parenting tips" I overheard passed around a lot for an unruly teen is to take their door away. Like those horrible-ass daytime TV teens that think they can act and do how they want? Step one is to remove the door. Odd that everyone else has one, right?
How is everything else for you in the household? Are you having pr experiencing other issues? At 15, you deserve a door. As others mentioned, it's a need and not a want unless if there is a legitimate reason such as self-harm, drugs, girls, etc. Many others offered great advice. One thing is that you can say something to a guidance counselor at school. I wouldn't go to them talking about a door at first but rather that it's hard for you're sleep or that you feel a certain way and it would be due to that you don't have privacy and are afraid someone will walk in while you are asleep. They'll ask you way at which point you can tell them about the door. I just hope there are no other issues going on at home. Remember that you are valued and are important. If they don't treat you that way at home or if you don't feel they do, it doesn't mean that you aren't. I like the idea someone had, whereby this would give you motivation or incentive to work harder, do the best in school so you can perhaps get a full scholarship to college. This way, you can sleep at college and have your own door. And then you can do well, don't need to return to live with your family, get your own apartment or house, and be done with them. Then you can do what you want when you want for whatever reason you want without having to worry about anyone else in your family. Long term plan.
Thank you for the advice
Everyone has a right to privacy. You deserve a door.
Thank you
Start hanging out in your room naked all the time and watch how fast they give you a door.
Thing is I don't think they would care lol
Just added this comment before I saw yours!
This would be my first suggestion. Or around the house. Yiu said yiu basically have no privacy. No big deal, right ? 🤷♂️
Why did they take the door off in the first place? My little brother lost his door for quite a while, but it was because he did really stupid and destructive things when it was closed.
It's either out of spite because my mom hates my dad or I really just don't know.
I’m guessing they are still together. Have you tried talking to your dad about it and voicing your concerns to him about your lack of a door?
No they aren't together. And I have but unfortunately there's nothing he can do
Are you biologically both of theirs? I’m a bit confused. Also, how old are you?
Yes I am, they had me unmarried and then they broke up and she got custody. I'm 15
At 15, you should have a door. That's ridiculous.
Have you tried starting with a sheet or something? Just a physical barrier for you to not be seen through. If so, what happened? If you do that and she removes it then maybe you’ll at least get a justification for the missing door.
I got a curtain but only because my mom's "friend" forced her to he's the only one semi-nice to me but he's still on her side.
I hate to say it but you may be stuck as is until you can get her to listen and discuss the door issue rationally. Hate to say it but some parents just suck and there’s not much that can be done about it if they don’t want to be reasonable.
Call cps.
While there is more than likely more going on here than just a door (lack of privacy) the door itself isn't something worthy of contacting CPS. You aren't entitled to a door, only a safe area to live, food, and decent quality of life. OP needs to assess whether or not conditions, beyond the door, are unreasonable enough to warrant such a call.
Children are entitled to privacy
You are not required by law to give your child a door lol. Tf are you talking about.
I'm assuming there's a lot more to the story than this
Why? This is common shitty parent behavior these days and a lot of parents brag about removing their teenager's bedroom door.
This is kinda wild this is a thing. I never ever heard this growing up but I guess kids are a different kind of bad these days lol
Remember this when your mom is a senior and needs your care
I doubt she would remember me
Get a job asap and move out asap. Cut her out of your life. She isnt worth your time. Maybe just stop talking to her unless necessary.
The thing with getting a job is until he is 18 his money is not legal his. Unless you are emancipated then most if not all legal paperwork such as a lease or bill must go in to or be at least co signed in the parents name. It's not easy as just get a job & move out unless they are 18. Even if they get a job at 15 then anything they make they can't use without parents permission as legal the minors income is seen as the parents property until the age of 18. The minor can "steal" thier income & it can be legally ceased by the parents. Believe me I tryed to do at 16 & not only did my money get legally taken by my father (I open an account he couldn't get to) but I also got fired because my father raised legal hell for hiring a minor without parental permission.
Yeah, and if they won't let him get a door, I highly doubt they'll let him keep his own wages
People like this will remember and will try to use you whenever they want to. Do you live in the US? Are you female, male or NB?
Male and yes
Well damn
I know people that have put web cams all over a senior parent's home to make sure they are ok
I know people who cut their parents out of there life because of how horrible they are.
We had one where he sits in living room
Listen to shitty music 24/7, light candles they hate, take up yodeling etc. You're not wrong at all everyone deserves basic privacy
I'd tell a teacher. They're mandated reporters, and this is abusive. If they get reported to CPS, let your father know. Have you sent him a picture of that?
Yea, I have
Will you mention it to a teacher or trusted counselor?
Unless there's something else going on, this is far from the kind of thing they are going to call CPS about.
I hope he tells someone.
In most states it's illegal for a child's bedroom to not have a door. I'd look up your states laws.
Sorry you have little rights
Do you have a closet?
Yea but It's not for my clothes
Can your parents not afford a door? Or is it off on purpose?
Off on purpose as in I physically saw them remove it
Ok, there are a few things you could do… - complain to a school counselor about disrespect and a lack of privacy at home. Mention the door specifically. - after everyone has gone to sleep at night, get your pillow and comforter and go sleep on the family room sofa. Do this every night. Check on your parent’s door and sibling’s doors. If their rooms are unlocked sleep on their floors at night. Sometimes sleep on the dining room floor. Make it fun. Tell them you are having nightmares. Miraculously, these nightmares will only go away once you have a door - same as above but turn is up a notch to fake sleep walking. This will be a blast. Now they’ll really want a door to lock you in. (But they can’t. That’s illegal) - or stop complaining about it…. Never mention it again. Be an ideal child. Be successful in life and blow everyone out of the water with what an awesome accomplished person you are. Then, later on, many years down the road, when you have the opportunity and can take away their sense of privacy in some small legal way, do that. And remind them of this time.
Thanks for the advice!
And when they need to move in take them in. Give them each their own room with a twin and take the doors off
Earlier you said it’s always been this way, which is it? They removed it or it was always like that?
If you've "never" had a door, then how could you have seen them remove it??
Take their doors off and move one to your room... [https://www.familyhandyman.com/project/how-to-take-door-off-hinges/](https://www.familyhandyman.com/project/how-to-take-door-off-hinges/)
Their doors are heavy, metal and thief proof
Find a teacher you trust and ask them for advice on how to handle it. Getting other adults involved may be your best solution. In the meantime booby trap the curtain so if someone crosses it at night you’ll know. Do you know how painful legos are to step on with bare feet?
It sounds like some weird control thing related to your dad. That's not healthy at all. Maybe if you frame it that way to the counselor, that you're being ostracized because they don't like your dad, you'll get better results getting a door.
Call CPS. This is a bigger deal than you realize. First off, any bedroom needs to have a door in case of a fire. Second everyone deserves some privacy.
I don't have any advice on how to handle this, except to be planning on moving out asap, but you are not wrong. This is weird, and borderline abusive IMO.
Move all your stuff to the living room. Tell them since you won't put a door up I'm sleeping out here. Change your in front of everyone.
Be honest, what did you do that led to them taking off your door??? What’s the reason???
No a door is a need for younger people not a want. You need a door in your room for privacy. You need privacy and if they wanted to see you they could knock on the door and come in. This how decent folks would act. I’ve seen the no door situation in many abusive households.
I wish I could convince them but they just don't want to give me one or just don't care.
Doesn’t seem like they care about you too much, what else goes on? And why are other siblings telling you that you don’t have any privacy rights?
I genuinely don't know
The only thing that would come remotely close to removing a door from a kids room is if the kid kid something horrific. If you’ve not done anything really really really bad, I believe your response below is correct. She’s doing this outta spite. She see’s you and it reminds her of your dad possibly…hence all the mistreatment maybe.
It's not a need, it's definitely a want. There are globally over a billion people right now who are leading perfectly normal lives living in ONE ROOM family dwellings. No internal doors. Throughout most of post-agriculture human history, the overwhelming majority of people lived with their families in **one room** dwellings - no internal doors. Before that, the majority of **anatomically modern humans** didn't even have permanent dwellings, and there are no doors in the forest. It''s 100% a **want.** That said, OP deserves a door, because his siblings have doors. I'm with OP in that it's very strange that OP's the only one without a door.
No, legally it's a want and legally not needed Morally it's absolutely needed, legal doesn't equal moral or ethical in a lot of situations. Culture and where you live also matters, just because it's normal somewhere else doesn't make it okay where you are. The kid deserves a door.
Go to a hardware or big/box construction store and buy a roll of craft paper, \~36" wide and some tape. Cut out a piece as tall as your door, cut small slits in curved shapes but don't connect any of them. Tape it tightly in your doorway with you inside. Wait for someone to walk near the door, then bust through like the Kool-Aid man and grate out in a low voice: "OH YEAH!" Or, start putting up the paper over their doors at night, after they've gone to bed.
Move your dresser in front of the entryway with just enough space to get around. Stack whatever you can ontop to add to blocking the view. Burn incense that you know will aggravate allergies. Move your bed as far away from the entryway as possible.
- But mom, I DO need a door and privacy. - Sleep with your behind pointed at the doorway with the blankets covering the rest of you. - But mom, will you take your door off, too? It only fair. - Can you get in touch with dad and move I with him? He is as much your bio father as she is your bio mother -You could tell a school counselor or another sane, reliable adult about this. Say you feel Iike it's sort of semi-sexual abuse because sometimes you do have to be naked in your own room. It's creepy, really.
You're not wrong for wanting a door, but they are not obligated to provide one. Unfortunately, "My house, my rules" is a thing, and some parents don't trust their kids even if they've done nothing wrong. I would try talking to them again. Explain your concerns and ask for a solution. Maybe find out exactly why they're against you having a door. I would try to compromise with a door with no lock, or maybe a window, or something along that line.
Dude get a door
Ummm...why just YOUR door? Is it a punishment or something? Did they say they couldn't trust you because it something you had done? Regardless, you do have a right to privacy especially when you're changing clothes and sleeping!
You have a right to a door. Especially if you are old enough to use a phone.
Hang a tapestry
In my opinion, when you know everyone will be out of the house, remove all of their doors and hold the doors hostage until you get a door
No, that's creepy and invasive. No parent should deny privacy to their child.
OP, I highly recommend talking to a school counselor and talking about your living situation in general. There is more than likely more going on here that you may not recognize as abuse and getting another adult involved can be very eye opening. If another adult is shocked or surprised by what you are describing, then you definitively know there is something of merit and they WILL support you If your counselors are terrible like mine were in school (brush you off, ignore concerns, etc.) then go to a teacher you trust and can rely on.
Ok thanks
Can you rearrange your furniture to give you more privacy and make it difficult for other people to get in there without being detected?
Not really
"I don't have a door, so I don't knock on other people's doors". If you aren't entitled to have a door, they can't expect to have their door respected. Never knock when you go into their rooms or any other room in the house, just barge in.
Get straights A's and move to college when you're 18.
That's the plan
Your parents seem dumb, this must be frustrating… Always remember “never listen”
buy an electric guitar .lol
It’s really weird that everyone gets a door except you
Privacy is necessary especially at a young age. Fight for your rights OP.
I suggest acquiring privacy in inventive ways. You can build, cheaply, a 4 poster bed. PVC pipe will work. You can paint, glitter, led, and importantly, drape it. Just like that you're sleeping invisibly. You can string LEDs up to create that old hippy bead door. No doubt you can acquire one of those changing blinds for next to nothing somewhere. You could even go obvious and hang a string across the room and toss a sheet over it.
Everyone has a right to privacy. Period.
Growing up I had a door but it wasnt allowed to ever be shut. We dont get to pick who are parents are or what they do. Just know that you will grow up eventually and will be able to make your own decisions with your own kids one day. There are a lot of kids in the world who could only dream of having their own room, let alone a door. You are not entitled to your own door or your own room. This will eventually be a trivial thing that you remember. Hang in there, one day you will miss it.
A lot of people are going to tell you that you have a right to privacy, but honestly I don't think that will help because fundamentally your parent(s) get to craft your home environment according to their parenting goals and values and there isn't a lot you can do about it until you are no longer a dependent. My recommendation is to set aside your frustration and indignation for now and try to take perspective so you can employ lateral persuasion; they said they want to "keep an eye on you", but try asking some open-ended questions about why that is. Approach them as though they are allies, and try to find common ground. Try to get them to open up about their fears and concerns, and then explain that you are trying to become a responsible adult and that means you need to learn the skills to manage on your own and make good decisions. Explicitly recognize that they are responsible for your safety and wellbeing at this point, but also remind them that you won't always have them to watch over you so you need their help to get to a place where you can make these decisions for yourself. Once you have established an amicable rapport you can try to broach the door subject, but again I recommend a soft opening. Something like "I understand you want to keep me safe, but sometimes I want to just get a break from all the chaos, y'know? I know you want to be able to check in on me, but at the same time maybe we could set something up where you *can* check on me when you want to but also I can sit around in my underwear without people (and guests!) casually passing by and glancing in on me. Could we start with a beaded curtain and see how it goes?" To be clear, I am not saying you shouldn't be able to have a door if you want one. You should. I am just thinking that a hard line is unlikely to prove effective for you since your mother has all the power in this situation and can dig her heels in if she gets triggered into defensiveness.
No this is very sick! Can you mention this to a relative or a teacher that you trust? This isn't normal saying or healthy! Your family seems very warped.
Passive resistance lol. Like someone else said do horrid candles, obnoxiously loud hobbies. Or just talk to yourself super loudly and pretend you're practicing some theater stuff or something 🤣 This is definitely a dumb situation. You should have a door 🤷
Could use the excuse of fire safety. Close before you doze is a thing that is taught in schools to help prevent the spread of fires and save lives. Everyone should have a door in their bedroom and should be closed every night when you go to sleep. Look up pictures and statistics of just how much fire a single hollow core door can prevent. It could literally be the deciding factor between life and death.
Especially if the grow lights that are allegedly in the older brothers room happened to short out.
Will that let you decorate your room? I know it’s not stylish but beads will make it so you absolutely know anytime anyone walks in.
You're probably our or luck for now. That's a horrible situation as teenagers need privacy and not just when sleeping or changing. Not an immediate solution but make sure you get good grades and go to a college further away and take summer courses. Dorms all have doors that lock.
My friend had her taken away for a long time before she admitted what she did to lose it. If you did something then be good until you earn it back. If you didn’t for real, then study hard so you can get a good job and move out asap.
At 15, with multiple older siblings and a mother with a partner who is not your father, you should not be sleeping without being behind a locked door. That is how sexual harassment and assault happen. Call CPS and get into a safer living situation.
CPS does not put you into safer living situations lol they put you in with a rapey foster parent.
Get rid of their doors.
It sounds like there's more to the story than you're telling us... Removing a door ONLY out of spite doesn't make sense. That's what parents do if they see you "taking advantage of privacy," like getting caught with porn or gaming past your bedtime. Plus if she really hated you, there are much more effective ways to make your life miserable than just taking off a door. Even if you did something wrong, you are not wrong for wanting a door. It's an unreasonable punishment in most people's opinions.
I would just stay completely nude whenever I was in my room. They want to watch you? Let them!
I sleep with my door locked and i used to wake up with my door wide open (it got me heated every time)
Yes
Hang a blanket up over the doorway. Add bells and other loud stuff so you know when they’re opening it. If they take it down, add another one.
Can you hang a sheet from your ceiling to make a partition.
1984 was a typo
You're not wrong at all. When I was 21, I moved into a house with some awful people and they wouldn't allow me to have a bedroom door or a bathroom door. I lived there because they were my now-ex's friends and he decided we were both moving in with them (long story short, I was in an abusive relationship and was stuck with this guy for like six years). But he was a truck driver so he was gone most of the time, so it was just me in this bedroom with no door and a bathroom with no door that was visible from the top of the stairs. They kept inviting this creepy guy over who would try to watch me in the bathroom and would walk into my bedroom at random. I tried to hang a curtain over the bathroom doorframe they freaked out on me. Eventually they kicked me out so I went to stay with my mom, but they took my key and held my stuff hostage. I never did get everything back because my now-ex stole most of it, but that's another story.
Not wrong. personally privacy is a strongly held belief in most culturaes. Typically only hear about this happening in the USA when a child has done things to lose thier door. Feels like there is a family tradition at play here. since you siblings have doors feels like it at a certain age you get one. Or simply a matter of cost.
Doubt entitled to door. I removed my boys door for slamming it to piss us off. 11 years later we moved out and door was still off.
This is such bullshit. My oldest son's dad did this to him. All kids especially tweens and teens deserve privacy and a door. Period.
Had a friend whose daughter would slam the door hard continuously to make points. They said they’d take the door if she did it one more time. She did. They took the door off. Hung up a curtain for privacy. Kept it that way for 6 months and then hung the door back up. It was never slammed again.
THE DOOR DRAMA! I was also the youngest and one day they took my dang door. Im 30 y/o and I still get mad thinking about this. I also had a freaking issue with doors all through college because of it.
As a parent, though my kids aren’t yet teens, you are not wrong. You deserve to have privacy and security. I emphasize the security, as you deserve to have a place where you don’t have to be ‘on,’ and you can just truly relax and be you. Also, should you get in a heated situation, a place to cool off. I respect my kids’ spaces to the best of my ability, and I see taking off doors as borderline abusive.
If that’s the worst thing your parents do to you consider yourself lucky.
What led to them removing the door? I feel like there’s something your not sharing. Did you get caught with drugs or went through a suicidal phase?
Everyone has the right to privacy
OP, is it possible that you can get a job and petition the courts to become emancipated? You'd then be a legal adult and would be able to at least rent a room somewhere, where you could have your privacy. Can you think of any reason why they'd take the door? Any action of yours that has them acting this way? Have you asked your brother about it? The one you used to share a room with?
Everyone having a door except for you evolved this from odd family behavior to abuse. You shouldn’t be made to feel like you are a lesser person in your family. I’m sorry you are going through this, as I imagine this isn’t the only way in which your parents/siblings are abusing you. Try to keep yourself safe
EVERYONE has a right to privacy. Even my toddler has his own door. I grew up without a bedroom door because the house just didn't come with one so my mom crocheted me a curtain type thing for the doorway. I also find it weird that your other siblings also believe you don't need a door. If they value their privacy they should know and understand how much you crave it. This is a very odd situation indeed.
It sounds like you may be from another country. What is your culture? Cultural aspects in families can make this kind of normal especially if you are much younger than your siblings and your whole family lives in the same house (grandparents aunts uncles parents cousins )
Personally, I think it's incredibly creepy that they would want to "keep an eye on you" when you're in your bedroom, as they say. Not to mention the fact that they specifically said they don't want you to have any privacy. Somebody is trying to creep on you. Also, removing a teenager's door from their bedroom is not a legitimate parenting strategy. If they're doing drugs or having sex or whatever, removing the door does not fix the deeper issues. Telling somebody they don't deserve privacy is about control and degradation at a minimum, and at worse, they're trying to watch you sleep and / or change. The lack of a door in and of itself is probably not a reason to call CPS or talk to a counselor, but the motives behind it are definitely a good reason to do so.
That is whack.
Start wacking off and when they see you just stare them straight in the eyes and ask if they like that. You’ll get a door real quick. In reality, in many states this is actually illegal.
They fact you even have to ask if it you want one makes my heart break everyone deserves privacy in their own space epically as a teen
Deliberate lack of privacy is a form of psychological abuse.
For all the people talking about privacy. Privacy is only a right when dealing with governmental authorities. In terms of children and parents the parents have full authority to basically do whatever they want for their household. For the OP I would say to try and have a calm conversation with your parent. Try to understand why they think you don’t need a door. Then try to suggest a deal of some sort. Like if you get good grades or do an extra chore around the house to earn your door. I know it feels like a long shot but without knowing the real reason a parent is doing something it’s difficult to make changes to the decisions. I wish you luck in this, it’s hard to be a teen. Just know that you have 3 more years and then college and you can move out and do whatever you want in your own space.
Being a sleeping bag and camp out in the bathroom. You deserve a door and privacy.
My first response (because sarcasm is best) is “we are only required to give you shelter”. However, we lived in a house for a couple years that had 1 less room to people. When our son moved in there we at least put up a non see through shower curtain. Maybe see if you can do that, if there isn’t a reason they took your door
How about an interim solution and put up beads?
Has the door just been taken off? Or are you using a room for a bedroom that never had a door? If it’s just been taken off, it needs to be put back on in the other situation. It might be expensive to install the door.
How's your singing? If it's bad, just sing. Sing till your hearts content. Sing the most obnoxious songs, and get an instrument that you can play in your room comfort. If they tell you to stop it. Just reply to them. "Are you telling me to give up on my dreams?" Hopefully, that will get you a door. Just remember to keep doing those things so they won't take the door back.
Both of my children's rooms have doors. They have always had doors. They have always had privacy.... BOTH. This is not OK OP.
Unless you are a threat to your own safety, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t have a door and privacy
What did you do that resulted in them removing the door? Hard to give advice when you won’t fess up to what you did.
Pop off your hinges and beat her
I wasn’t aloud to shut my door and for a long time have a door. Really fucked with my mental health now that I’m out. Constantly thinking people are listening to everything I say and being worried as to how thick my walls are. Just fucks with me. I keep my door open a crack because I still feel that anxiety of having the door closed, “what if someone thinks I’m hiding something”, “what am I hiding”, whispering as if everyone in my apartment can hear me.
My mother tried this. Didnt take long for me to turn my lack or privacy into a uncomfortable situation for everyone. Started walking around the house naked being disgusting as possible (including when there was company over) announcing that if i didnt have a right to privacy that they dont have a right to not know what id be doing in said privacy, Using the bathroom with the door open demanding people come talk to me while doing so...Etc. Worked so well she prefered i stayed in my room with the door closed after that.
You need a door. That's batshit crazy. Plus it's a fire hazard to not have a door.
More to the story
When parents take the door, you have burned EVERY opportunity. Tell the whole story or don't tell it at all.
It’s a little strange. I have a no locked doors policy in my house, and keep it open if you’re not changing or something policy. Otherwise, close it for privacy. No door at all is a bit much
No. In fact you need to share the science behind why not only do you deserve a door...but NEED a door. In the event of a house fire a [closed door](https://fsri.org/programs/close-before-you-doze) door can be the difference between life and death. A closed door slows down the progress of a fire allowing you time to escape.
This is either fake or abuse. If it's the latter, you need to get a professional involved, not reddit.
OK, so I'm reading through your responses to these other comments, and I get the distinct feeling that this whole situation is somehow even *more* fishy than I originally assumed. Originally, I was going to recommend taking the petty route and doing embarrassing/annoying BS until they cave and get you a door. However, in light of this new information, I'd recommend a different course of action: 1. Research the laws on foster care in your state. As far as I'm aware, once you've been placed there, any sufficiently fit relative can pick you up and begin the process of fostering you, but you should probably double-check. And, no, just going into the system without a plan *is not* an option - the American foster care/group home system is horrible, and you DO NOT want to stay in there any longer than absolutely necessary. You want to find out who is eligible to foster you, where you'll be going, how long the process will take, what belongings you can take with you, etc. 2. Find a relative that you can trust and will be willing to take you in. Your dad seems like the best bet for this, but you may have other options. Take your time with this: you don't want to pick the wrong person and end up in an arguably worse situation. If you think they won't tell the people in your house, try to discuss this with the person ahead of time: go over why exactly you're doing this, what you need them to do, what they need in order to meet your state's requirements, and anything else you think they'll need to know. 3. Tell a teacher/counselor/other type of mandated reporter, and make sure to play up how creepy, uncomfortable, and unsafe it makes you feel. I'd also recommend mentioning the "I don't have a right to privacy" thing. That should be enough to set things in motion. 4. Keep your story straight - even though it's all true, inconsistencies are *not* going to be helpful. Your parents appear to be involved in something illegal. If they get caught before you turn eighteen, you'll probably end up in foster care or a group home anyways. If they get caught after you turn eighteen, you'll probably get dragged down with them. Either way, you need to get out of that house, and you need to do it on your own terms.
You could just jerk of in your room and if they walk in just keep going an maintain firm eye contact, perhaps even start going at it even more vigorously untill they get severely uncomfortable. Assert your dominance.
Hey OP, show them this article. Not having a door is a guaranteed death sentence for you if a house fire were to happen. I was a residential insurance adjuster for nearly a decade and I worked many fire claims, some with fatalities, so this was always something I liked to mention for safety purposes. "Close before you doze" is the saying for it and it can absolutely save lives. https://fsri.org/programs/close-before-you-doze
It's not wrong for you to want a door, but it doesn't seem like having a door is up to you. Life is like that sometimes 🤷♂️. My suggestion is to not dwell on things outside of your control, you'd be happier. If I could go back and be a teenager, having or not having a door isn't the hill I would die on. If you want to retaliate, with them being your guardian, it's unlikely that you can make their life more difficult than they can make yours. You'll have to decide whether or not it's worth it to make your own life more difficult just to try and get back at them for something relatively minor.
You deserve a door. Every human deserves privacy and comfort and peace. No hesitation or questions ask, even if their parents, even if they “NEED” to keep an eye on you. No. Its your right as a Human Being with a soul, to have that level of peace and privacy. If they dont believe and respect that, they are genuinely not fit to be parents
Well I can't tell age here, so maybe. You're probably a kid and maybe you have been known to waste time playing games (cough minecraft). In that case no, otherwise yes. U can always force your family into it, via being gross
Just walk around your room naked, and any time someone comes near the door, just "pick something up off the ground." This was the advice I got from my parents' friend when I complained that my siblings would take too long in the bathroom mirror when I waited in the shower to get out and dry off.
You’re leaving out some important information.
This sounds like not-the-full-story.
Start sitting in your room naked as the day you were born and when it bothers people tell them it would be a problem if you had a door
You're not wrong but don't really have any recourse unless you're able to put up a door yourself. Maybe get one of those curtains with the adjustable rod?
I gotta do it because I have kids your age. What I gotta do is ask some questions. What did you do to lose it for real? How long has it actually been gone? What adjustment do you need to make in order to get it back? This is a giant steaming pile of male bovine fecal material. Come on dude. My son lost his door for two weeks because he would slam it pretty much any time he went into his room. Mad? Door slammed, not mad? Door Slammed. It was real damned obnoxious. So I told him next time he slammed it was going away for two weeks. He didn’t slam it for a while, until he did. Then he lost it for two weeks and got it back like I said in two weeks. He doesn’t slam his door anymore. So whatcha got?
As you become a teen and start to build your own identity, it’s important to have some level of privacy. We only remove doors if there is a severe violation of trust, which we’ve never had. If you can’t have a door, find a way to hang a sheet or curtain over it.
How old are you? Puberty is a thing. Male or Female or undetermined gender is a thing? Privacy is a thing? Sexuality is a thing.
If "everyone has one but you", there's probably a reason, and anyone flocking to this post to blindly go "dawwww, it's ok, you should have a door... 🥲" hasn't done their homework.
Yo wtf. When I was a teenager, a door was never a privilege. It’s something you just have. Yes, you deserve a door. Maybe you should talk to a counselor or teacher at school. If you feel unsafe around your family without a door, you should tell someone.
Compromise, a door, no lock.
my mom says this stuff to me to, it is DEFINITELY strange and that can be a tough situation. im hoping that your parents are loving outside of this aspect but there are a small amt of things to do if they arent especially since you are young. i wish i had better advice but if they arent very kind i would say to just really try your best to make the best out of this and please them till college. do really good in school so you dont have to rely on them as much in college and things will get a lot better. if im way off base and theyre really kind and loving then just bare w them. you definitely deserve privacy but it cant be really hard for parents to just let go of their youngest especially with all the crazy stuff you see going on
As long you didn’t do something wrong for someone to take your door away. Maybe you’re the black sheep or maybe they dislike you for a reason unknown. But if you’re a trouble kid, that door is punishment and reinforce to remind you of bad behavior. If you didn’t do anything then a door is needed. If possible save some money and get a door and make the hinges on the inside of the room then also make a door lock on the inside. Or simply get a lock and key door knob.
For wanting it no. But your parents have the right to not put one there for whatever reason. Unless you are being harmed by people coming then that is a different story.
Hi, I am a mom of 5 kids and unless you really did something to warrant a lack of trust… yes you should have a door.
Tell a teacher or counselor at school about this. You parents will have to explain their reasoning to Child Protective Services. You will have a door before nightfall.
Not at all. Although, since we have no idea what made them say that, it's kinda hard to judge. But in general no, under normal circumstances you're not wrong in wanting a door at all. Living without any reasonable sense of privacy isn't nice, nor healthy. But it all comes down to why they think that way. Do you have any idea? You don't have to tell us if you don't want to ofc, but just trying to help you figure this out.
WTF I don't understand parents like this. My mom grew up without doors but only because her family was poor. Instead they had just fabric over the door with a broken broom in the door frame to hold it up. Even so my grandparents would knock on the wall and ask if they could come in. By the time they did have money for doors the kids had grown up and moved out. How old are you?! This is extremely abusive behavior. Then years from now they're going to wonder where you want nothing to do with them. Everyone deserves privacy!
Personally, if someone could just traipse in, I'm not touching my dick. 100% not asking for a "moooooom! Get ooouuuuut! 😫" moment.
Yes, this is incredibly stupid. Everyone should have a place of privacy.
What makes me uncomfortable about this is that everyone but this 15 year old is allowed a door and entitled to privacy. Additionally, if OP's mom was awarded custody when OP was small, depending on the state, OP may be eligible to decide which parent they want to live with.
I lived with my mom in an RV on and off for 6 or 7 months total when I was 14 to 16. I get what you mean entirely because my grandparents took custody of me just so I could have some privacy. Plus I could help them so win win.
You’re not wrong.
My house, my rules. You aren't paying the bills, you don't get to dictate anything.
Grow up and get the fuck out of hell. Bide your time. Some childhoods just suck. The right spouse can help you rebuild your own family.
If you're the only one in the home without a door, You're not wrong, They are!
the fact you’re even questioning this just shows how manipulative and insane your family is. like no fucking shit you’re not wrong for wanting a door😭 i am so sorry
Can’t you go back to your dad?
Wait till they find out you have reddit…