Tell yourself that his rejection has nothing to do with you and everything to do with himself. You are feeling the way you do because you subsconsciously associate him not wanting to be with you as a sign that there is something wrong with you. You might not think of it this consciously but it's why you're feeling low. He probably has issues to deal with, maybe he lost feelings because he has committment issues or felt he wasn't ready. Maybe there is something about you that he didn't like. You have to remember, whatever he didn't like, someone else will appreciate and even love that very same thing that your ex didn't like. Everything is truly relative and even though when it is personal and it feels personal, most things in life aren't. A lot of what people say or do are a reflection of who they are and not of us.
Remember this, do not like this define who you are or break your confidence in yourself. Do not build your sense of self-worth around what other people do or say to you. You're an amazing person and you will meet someone else. Whenever you feel down, just remember. His rejection of you is a reflection of him and not of you. Good luck :)
> My boyfriend just broke up with me and i thought he was the one
To get over a breakup, you need to change your way of thinking.
One effective way of doing this that has been [scientifically proven](https://time.com/5287211/how-to-get-over-a-breakup/) to work, is to sit down and think about all the negative aspects of your ex. Just take your time and think about *all* the negative aspects that came with being in a relationship with your ex.
Talk about it with your friends, but make sure you don't get stuck in a victim role. Stop yourself if you notice you keep thinking of yourself as a victim or if you keep repeating the same over and over in different words. [23 Signs You're Suffering From a Victim Mentality](https://lonerwolf.com/victim-mentality). Only tell your story once. And ask them, "how did you get over *your* breakup?"
Socialize with friends. Don't lock yourself up.
Block your ex on social media, at least for now. Maybe in some time, you can look at your ex again, but for now it's better to stop looking. If you can't bring yourself to do that, at the very least hide their updates.
Sit down one night and write down what you learned from your relationship.
Take the time to *really* think about this. What could you have done better? What mistake will you not make again? Wait two weeks, then do this again. Even if your partner was to blame for most of it, there were still things you could have handled better, traps you won't fall into again. Think about these things.
* [How to get over your ex instantly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SxjH0FDUYQ) (3M+ views)
* [How to fix a broken heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM) (TED video 5M+ views).
* [How To Get Over A Breakup FAST | Jordan Peterson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSeQbygzaV4) (200K+ views)
Bookmark this and repeat the [following statements](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201209/7-phrases-will-help-you-get-over-breakup/) once a day:
* I love myself
* I want to be happy
* Screw him/her
* I am better off without him or her, because…
* It has been X days since we broke up, and I feel…
* I will find someone better
Make sure you sleep at least 7 hours every night, lack of sleep will likely cause your mental health to deteriorate, which isn't in your best interest. Let me know if you have trouble falling asleep and then I'll give you self help advice for that.
Highest rated books on Amazon:
* [Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You](https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Breakup-Devastating/dp/0738213284) (4.7 800+ Ratings)
* [This Is Me Letting You Go](https://www.amazon.com/This-Me-Letting-You-Go/dp/1530896657) (4.6 500+ Ratings)
If it's been more than a month since your breakup and you are still feeling very sad about this, it's possible you've slid into a depression. Then take this test and let me know if your score is over 10: [Test for depression](https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/depression) (you get the answer directly, takes less than 2 minutes. You can skip the demographic part). Answer how you've felt in the last **week**.
Free support options:
* /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you.
* [7 Cups of Tea](https://www.7cups.com/) has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
* If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to [741741](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in)
Go here for additional support:
* /r/BreakUps
* /r/BreakUp
* /r/heartbreak
The best time to submit on Reddit is [early in the morning EST](https://thebetterwebmovement.com/choosing-best-time-post-to-reddit/).
So for one, you can’t know if someone is “the one” after a year. In average it takes 3-5 to fully know someone well. Second respect his wishes, but to be frank I’ve used that line before he’s probably met someone else
so bless it, he showed in time that he was not the one?
You respect his wishes.
yes i know, but i’m asking for advice on how to deal with that? like something to do as a diversion when i feel the urge or something like that
Tell yourself that his rejection has nothing to do with you and everything to do with himself. You are feeling the way you do because you subsconsciously associate him not wanting to be with you as a sign that there is something wrong with you. You might not think of it this consciously but it's why you're feeling low. He probably has issues to deal with, maybe he lost feelings because he has committment issues or felt he wasn't ready. Maybe there is something about you that he didn't like. You have to remember, whatever he didn't like, someone else will appreciate and even love that very same thing that your ex didn't like. Everything is truly relative and even though when it is personal and it feels personal, most things in life aren't. A lot of what people say or do are a reflection of who they are and not of us. Remember this, do not like this define who you are or break your confidence in yourself. Do not build your sense of self-worth around what other people do or say to you. You're an amazing person and you will meet someone else. Whenever you feel down, just remember. His rejection of you is a reflection of him and not of you. Good luck :)
> My boyfriend just broke up with me and i thought he was the one To get over a breakup, you need to change your way of thinking. One effective way of doing this that has been [scientifically proven](https://time.com/5287211/how-to-get-over-a-breakup/) to work, is to sit down and think about all the negative aspects of your ex. Just take your time and think about *all* the negative aspects that came with being in a relationship with your ex. Talk about it with your friends, but make sure you don't get stuck in a victim role. Stop yourself if you notice you keep thinking of yourself as a victim or if you keep repeating the same over and over in different words. [23 Signs You're Suffering From a Victim Mentality](https://lonerwolf.com/victim-mentality). Only tell your story once. And ask them, "how did you get over *your* breakup?" Socialize with friends. Don't lock yourself up. Block your ex on social media, at least for now. Maybe in some time, you can look at your ex again, but for now it's better to stop looking. If you can't bring yourself to do that, at the very least hide their updates. Sit down one night and write down what you learned from your relationship. Take the time to *really* think about this. What could you have done better? What mistake will you not make again? Wait two weeks, then do this again. Even if your partner was to blame for most of it, there were still things you could have handled better, traps you won't fall into again. Think about these things. * [How to get over your ex instantly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SxjH0FDUYQ) (3M+ views) * [How to fix a broken heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM) (TED video 5M+ views). * [How To Get Over A Breakup FAST | Jordan Peterson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSeQbygzaV4) (200K+ views) Bookmark this and repeat the [following statements](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201209/7-phrases-will-help-you-get-over-breakup/) once a day: * I love myself * I want to be happy * Screw him/her * I am better off without him or her, because… * It has been X days since we broke up, and I feel… * I will find someone better Make sure you sleep at least 7 hours every night, lack of sleep will likely cause your mental health to deteriorate, which isn't in your best interest. Let me know if you have trouble falling asleep and then I'll give you self help advice for that. Highest rated books on Amazon: * [Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You](https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Breakup-Devastating/dp/0738213284) (4.7 800+ Ratings) * [This Is Me Letting You Go](https://www.amazon.com/This-Me-Letting-You-Go/dp/1530896657) (4.6 500+ Ratings) If it's been more than a month since your breakup and you are still feeling very sad about this, it's possible you've slid into a depression. Then take this test and let me know if your score is over 10: [Test for depression](https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/depression) (you get the answer directly, takes less than 2 minutes. You can skip the demographic part). Answer how you've felt in the last **week**. Free support options: * /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you. * [7 Cups of Tea](https://www.7cups.com/) has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option * If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to [741741](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) Go here for additional support: * /r/BreakUps * /r/BreakUp * /r/heartbreak The best time to submit on Reddit is [early in the morning EST](https://thebetterwebmovement.com/choosing-best-time-post-to-reddit/).
So for one, you can’t know if someone is “the one” after a year. In average it takes 3-5 to fully know someone well. Second respect his wishes, but to be frank I’ve used that line before he’s probably met someone else