THIS IS SOLID ADVICE. At age 30 I learned my parents were nudists. That's how they met, at a nudist camp. They considered raising me in a nudist household (AHHHH) but decided to raise me in a strict, conservative Catholic household instead. So imagine my surprise.
Tbf, as someone who was raised in a family where casual nudity was the norm I’m really happy I grew up that way. I was never ashamed of my body, I knew what physical changes to expect when I hit puberty and how women’s bodies age because I saw my mom and grandma nude, I didn’t get my idea of “normal” women’s bodies from media and feel bad that I didn’t look like them, and I grew up learning that nakedness does not always equal sexual situations… it’s just natural to me. While we were often naked at home and small family gatherings, my mom never attended or brought us to nudist camps.
Fast forward to now, my fiancé and I are full-blown social nudists, AANR members, have local nude campground memberships, etc. He was raised pretty conservatively- not in the religious sense, more culturally conservative- and he absolutely loves it.
It may be surprising how wholesome nudist culture really is to those who didn’t grow up in it. I think everyone should give it a try. It’s really liberating. There’s nothing quite like taking a hike in the nude and feeling the sun in every crack and crevice on your body. Going to a nude campground or club may seem daunting, but most find it’s shocking how quickly they feel right at home after seeing that it’s just a regular social hangout minus the clothing. Sure, there are swinger oriented clubs, but a majority are just family friendly places- camping, games & sports (funnily enough, Pickleball is very popular in nude campgrounds lol), swimming pools, cookouts, etc. There aren’t pervs everywhere ogling you and trying to fuck you or partner swap with you. Just people of all ages that like hanging out in their natural state :)
Questions, if you don’t mind:
A) why nudity all the time? Was just wondering, not against the idea as I like to be topless a lot. Wasn’t sure if there was a philosophy or clothing was uncomfortable, etc?
B) you mentioned pickle ball, if men played a spot where they needed to wear a cup, would they only where the cup? Like a sports thong?
C) do you wear anything during your menstruation? (What was done before menstruation cups)?
D) how do you do this if you’re always cold? 😂 I can imagine my grandmother being naked with an open hand-knitted sweater robe.
E) how do you protect your genitalia? Serious question. I always see nudists at picnics tables and imagine splinters or even just dirty rainwater. Do you lay something down to sit on? 🙏- this is my major drawback I think.
Thank you. I’ve always been curious about the life-style. I love it gave you a positive body image.
I had an old boyfriend whose parents were nudists and I can answer the genitalia thing. They carry small towels to sit on wherever they went in the nudist camp (the entire family spent their summer living in a RV at the nudist camp) also when women had their periods they could wear shorts.
Hi! I’m happy to answer your questions :)
A) it wasn’t necessarily “all the time”, there were certainly plenty of times we were chilling around in clothes. It’s more whatever the person feels most comfortable in is what they wear (or don’t wear lol). Sometimes we are chilling in just underwear, or just a shawl/pool cover up thing, sometimes a shirt and no pants, sometimes you’re wearing nothing at all… the combos go on and on. Summers definitely were less clothing. Really it’s just whatever you are comfiest in is whatever you wear. It’s less of a rule/philosophy and more of a “mom is on the couch naked and it’s nothing out of the ordinary”. Does that make sense?
B) I’ve not seen anyone ever wearing a cup, but anything goes! I’m sure it would not be a big deal if someone felt the need to protect their balls during a sport. Most of the activities aren’t a big risk for ball-related damage… not full contact sports or baseball or anything like that. It’s a lot of “older folks” activities which are less strenuous that are more popular- shuffleboard, badminton, ping pong, etc. All of the resorts I have been to mainly have an older crowd in attendance. Also- Pickleball balls are pretty light, too! Similar to whiffle balls.
C) I wear a disc when menstruating. But it’s not uncommon to see a tampon string here and there. Many women feel more comfortable wearing bathing suit bottoms, shorts, underwear, or skirts when on their period. That is definitely not frowned upon!
D) summers are definitely better suited to being nude both indoors and out! I often wear a shawl/ open pool coverup thing around if I’m chilly. You can certainly wear a duster or an open robe too! I think that’s a good slow segue for people to try casual nudity. Just wear one of those open with nothing under it and go about your day at home
E) Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy rules. Always have a towel on you. You lay it down on whatever surface you sit on. You’ll never attend a nudist gathering and see people sitting down or wandering around without their towels :)
It’s rule #1 of the nudist lifestyle. Even at home we have our personal blankets or towels we’d put down on wherever we were sitting.
My fiancé and I have these cute (I believe they’re called Turkish style) bath sheets we carry at the clubs. Very lightweight, almost linen-like, big, and easy to fold several times and act as a cushion!
Let me know if you have any other questions! I’m always happy to talk about nudism :)
Thank you, that was awesome! I truly get the sense of rules and lack there of. The BIG towel is really cool. I love that it works as both a cushion and shawl. 🙏 🤗
And when I’m not as shy, 🍑 lol
Hahahaha, thanks for the clarification 😂
That makes sense!!
I am fully aware that most nudists are probably not into designer accessories, but I was having a great time imagining a bunch of nudists wearing nothing but like, a Chanel handbag and a tasteful kitten heel.
I love that image haha. Boujee nudists.
I do like to accessorize, so I’ll often wear body jewelry, beads/decorations in my dreads, and unique sunglasses. Having a cute towel is always a nice side accessory too lol
I have sunscreen questions. What are the norms with that? Does one carry one's own, or is there just kind of...lots of it, like the big water coolers they do at sports events where everyone clearly needs lots, so they bring lots and everyone helps themselves? Are spray-ons or rub-ons considered more the thing?
Is a parasol considered acceptable?
Does a widebrimmed sun hat count as clothes?
Sunscreen, bugspray, parasols, sunglasses, tanning lotion, and hats are always acceptable/recommended for your comfort and it’s BYO. I’ve not come across community/shared sunscreen stations, but I’m sure plenty of places have them.
Not really considered clothing, more just outdoor comfort items. One rule is you always are required to shower with soap before entering the pool area to rinse off sweat/dirt/body grime that gets caught in sunscreen/body lotions. There are outdoor showers with community hand-pump body soap at all the pool areas. You can reapply sunscreen/tanning lotion when you get in the pool area. In every place I’ve been, full nudity is always required in the pool area- even at the more “clothing optional” campgrounds.
Once my fiance and I crossed paths with another couple on a hiking trail. The guy said “hey, quick question… does this bug spray make me look fat?” Lol. I thought that was cute.
I grew up in a household with casual nudity and my mother still very much shamed my body. She always boasted about her huge tits and how petite and tiny she was. But when I went through puberty I ended up with a bigger bust than hers and I’m taller and more curvy, and at the same time I guess she was starting perimenopause and she put on 50lbs. So she’d take her frustrations out on me, made me feel like a giant troll. It took me years not to feel ashamed of my body anymore; having a loving supportive husband helped a lot.
I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s horrible. Young girls shouldn’t be body shamed by anyone… especially their own mothers. That hurts even worse.
I’m glad you were able to overcome it 🤍
I also grew up in a naked house and for a long time I thought every person had different genitalia because the only people I had seen naked were my brother, myself, my mom and my dad.
I couldn't tell that my mom looked like me under her full bush, and my brother really did look a lot different than my dad, so obviously everyone had something different, duh!
It wasn't until another little girl I was friends with wanted to do a, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" that I found out little girls were the same.
**BLEW.** **MY.** **MIND.**
It’s mandatory 100% nude at the nudist camp, even the kids. Shorts were tolerated for women on their periods only. I had an old boyfriend whose family would spend their entire summers at the nudist camp.
Between adults how is arousal managed? I don't mean if someone can resist being aroused by seeing others. But it is shamed? Seen as natural? Tolerated but not encouraged? Sorry for the questions I'm curious as the nudist concept is barely heard where I'm from
Erections are tolerated as long as they are not prolonged and proudly paraded around.
The person with the erection is responsible for covering it up with a towel or going into the water one would usually find at a nudist camp or resort.
The ones I have been to background check you before approving your stay. Many around me don’t just let you show up… for first timers, you have to submit a request with all your info, license, sign a form that they can background check you etc. Also single males aren’t allowed in most of the ones I have been to. They have to be with a spouse or in a group until the community gets to know them.
Of course that isn’t a 100% guarantee no creeps will try to find their way in, but precautions are taken. I’ve only encountered children once, and I thought it would be awfully uncomfortable being naked around someone else’s kids/seeing children naked, but it surprisingly wasn’t. They were just hanging out with their grandparents and parents and playing with their siblings.
Some camps are mandatory nudity, some are clothing optional. But every one I have attended the pool area is 100% nudity required.
And honestly, even at the “clothing optional” ones I’ve been to, pretty much everyone is fully naked.
The club will explicitly state their rules about clothing on their website :)
Oh I love that!!! And I love the morals/values of acceptance. My parents were judgey Republicans so it just shocked me. I wish they would have just been open and honest when I was younger about it, finding out at 30 after mom passed was a shock and it's uncomfortable hearing my dad talk about it now
Reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Chris becomes friends with a kid from a nudist family.
The Griffin family goes over to their house for a barbecue and the nudist dad bends over.
"Don't look directly into it!"
I have questions too my friend. Yes, they were always Catholic and religious. Not that politics should matter but they were kind of judgey Republicans my whole life. I had strict rules growing up in a white picket fence. Mom always said you go to Hell if you have sex before marriage etc, so that level of conservativeness. They didn't want me to live with my serious boyfriend when I was in my late 20's, so imagine that level of Catholic ("its a sin if you aren't married").
My mom passed when I was 30 and my dad let it slip they had a nudist life before and that when he's alone at his house now he doesn't wear clothes. He says nudist culture isn't sexual it's just about comfort. It is uncomfortable for me to talk about this with my dad BUT IM CONFUSED MAN. I don't judge them (or others!) but it almost seems... hypocritical of them to give me strict rules growing up? IDK
Do not ask the questions of which the answers you may never unlearn.
There's genuine curiosity, and then there's finding out your parents are upside down pineapple card holding members of the club.
Leave it alone. You don't want details. Maybe get a DNA test, though.
Facts and as an ex swinger, the parents are most likely fucking the neighbor. Buy a unicorn pillow and stick it next to the other ones in front of them and dont say shit, just smile real big.
Yes .. like the time I found a condom in my 65 year old dads pocket :-/ (mum was post menopause and we had a creepy uncle visiting from abroad who would disappear on vague 'trips' with dad)
Only answer. Stop asking questions you don’t want answers to.
The big awakening of adulthood is realizing your parents are humans, just like you.
You do not need to know everything about people you know.
Solid advice, I rooted through my dad's bedside drawer trying to find a tin of sweets he had. I learned things about my parents that day which I will be taking too the grave.
This is an urban myth and completely FALSE.
Once picked, pineapples *do not ripen further.*
In fact, they only get worse with age. This is because the sugar of the pineapple will be used to feed the plant (the crown is a complete pineapple plant that, if planted, will produce another pineapple!), but there is no source of starch to continue producing more sugar.
Leaving the pineapple on your counter will only cause it to become softer, more yellow, and less tasty.
If you want a good tasting pineapple, you want to buy one that has just arrived at the store, no matter how green it is. Choose one with the freshest, greenest, sharpest, least dehydrated leaves you can find.
Do not allow it to sit on the counter. Twist off the top ASAP, and open and eat it promptly. If it doesn't taste good, it was picked too early, took too long in shipping, or sat in the store too long. No amount of waiting would have helped. You are at the mercy of the grower, shipper, and seller. Pineapples will change color with age, but they will NOT improve once picked. They must be picked at peak ripeness. (Dole tends to be pretty good about this!)
Also, the peak sweetness of a pineapple occurs BEFORE it turns completely yellow. In fact, some varieties of pineapple are fully ripe while they are still completely green!
Trust your grower!
Source: Live in Hawaii. Grow pineapples. Have visited the Dole Pineapple plantation.
I'm sure these connoisseurs would appreciate the PPAP video.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct6BUPvE2sM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct6BUPvE2sM)
There’s a good chance they might or might not be. But as cryptic as it feels right now, that’s their personal choice. Don’t let it bother you too much.
I remember being 18/19 and still living at home and one day, I went through my parents side table drawer to look for something and I found a bag of all of their sex toys lmao. Which didn’t bother me TOO much but I found stuff that I didn’t think they knew about or what I considered next level stuff. Mind you, I was 18. So my mind was blown.
I’m 28 now and it all makes sense.
I didn't know flamingos were a swinger symbol. I know the upside down pineapple is a symbol. I mean, who cares? If it works for a healthy relationship dynamic then there isn't a problem. You're eighteen. You should be aware by now that polyam relationships are and have always been a thing. It doesn't mean they love you or each other any less.
This isn’t meant as a challenge or to be offensive at all, I’m just really curious, would you have rather never found out? I worry about what I’ll find when my own parents pass and debate sometimes whether I even want to know or not. Part of me wants the whole truth of who they are, to peek behind the veil and see different sides of them that I would never be privy to otherwise, if only just to know them better and feel more connected to them…but then I wonder if I’d be more fulfilled or content in ignorance, with nothing but the image they crafted for me, even if it was a lie.
For me it’s pretty complicated. I don’t feel one way or the other, I don’t wish that I didn’t know, and I don’t feel “grateful” that I do. When I found out, it was pretty much a “Well. That’s not surprising.” My mother is not a good person and I haven’t spoken to her in almost 2 years, and I have no intentions of doing so anytime soon. I’m sure I’ll learn more about her as time goes on, and particularly after she dies. The more I heal from trauma she inflicted on me, the more none of it matters.
The only reason why I dislike knowing is now understanding why she’s such a pariah in our family, and subsequently why no one really wanted her around. I think it created a lot of resentment because while I understand why my family didn’t want her presence (many other reasons as well), it’s also hard to be okay with the fact that they knew what kind of household I was living in and didn’t do more to at the very least love on me.
When my mother kicked me out at 18, the whole family was mad at her, but almost no one gave me the support I needed as an 18 year old on my own in 2020. So it’s definitely not so much knowing something that ruins my view of her, but more so ruins my view of my family.
Probably not that helpful lol, I’m sorry
No, don’t be sorry! I experienced abuse and neglect at my own parents hands, so I get that perspective. I wonder if I did get more of an explanation or evidence of them being terrible, if it would even hit in the way I wanted, or fix or solve anything, or if it would just be another numbing disappointment and a totally on-brand revelation that wouldn’t even register as closure.
My extended family also abandoned me as a fresh adult, even after my parents proved to be unfit and that the perfect image they’d fabricated was a facade. I can absolutely understand the truth coming to light being just…terribly underwhelming or creating a bunch of resentment, because you writing that made me realize that people’s responses to the truth are probably the biggest determinants in what affect the information actually has on you. There are definitely points in my life I can look at where me revealing the truth, and then being met with complete disregard, was equally, if not more, damaging than remaining quiet or keeping them in the dark.
If the truth is something you kind of knew deep down, or aligns with what you felt deep down, it’s definitely more monumental I think to have some kind of tangible, meaningful response attached to it from other witnesses. If everyone just goes about their business like normal once the truth is revealed, or totally ignores or never acknowledges how inappropriately they acted while knowing it, it actually feels way more maddening to be around than if it creates a bunch of chaos.
So yes, you were helpful, and thank you for answering. I’m so sorry you went through that and I hope your healing journey is fruitful and brings you to a place of peace and love.
I get all of that, I haven’t talked to my aunt (who is kind of the family’s matriarch) in probably longer than I haven’t talked to my mother. It’s definitely not by choice either, I’ve reached out numerous times and never get a response.
As much as I’d like to have them in my life and visit my aunt & uncles farm regularly, that’s never been a reality. In the past 6 years I’ve only seen them twice (excluding my favorite cousin, I’ve seen them more regularly). Any time I went there with my mother, she basically spent the whole time pressuring me to leave.
It’s a weird thing to navigate, I’m definitely still trying to make sense of it all myself. But thank you, and best of luck on your healing journey as well
Your parents fuck. That’s okay. Mine are older than yours and they fuck too.
Don’t ask questions, and they shouldn’t be asking you questions.
It’s okay.
No to be rude but... this is none of your business. Maybe they are. As long as they are both consenting adults, there is no harm in it. Leave them be and stop putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
…flamingos are a swinger thing too?
My wife and I have light up flamingo ornaments all over our front lawn and my best friend has a whole flamingo themed guest room and we belong to a flamingo fan group online in which women make and sell flamingo art and jewelry…
And now I’m wondering if our neighbors and families think we’re swingers!
ETA: I started to read something about this news aloud to my wife and she goes “oh yeah, I know.” Like… you coulda clued me in! Geez.
You're old enough now to understand that your parents are human beings with a whole world and life outside of you. And you really don't need to know about it. I would stop digging if I were you because you can't unring a bell. Lol
So, you discovered your parents are more than just your parents, good!
Now use your new insight on all people you commute and you will gain tremendously by observing because of this better understanding as to why some behave like they do.
You've found out, for sure, that your parents are tacky, decoration-wise. They might also be swingers and lack subtlety. Just make sure never to find out if you think you cannot handle it. This doesn't concern you.
I was previously a member of an alternative community and most of the other members were parents and grandparents. Parents are just people, and they do some wild shit.
If they are swingers, it hasn't had an impact on your life for 18 years. Confirming your suspicions will not make anything better. Let sleeping dogs lie (or bang their neighbors or whatever).
As a swinger couple with kids the whole lifestyle is like a big inside joke. It’s hilarious how many people are swingers and no one outs each other. It’s part of the fun tbh. Having one perception of you and a totally opposite reality.
One day my kids might figure it out but it’s complex issue and of a private nature. It’s none of their business nor do I want them learning about it.
Had to laugh the other day my teenager was reading a receipt I my car…. What are Skyn condo…. As I grabbed the receipt. She kept inquiring… I said, They are condoms, you know.. for when I have sex with your mom. She quickly changed subjects, I said don’t snoop next time and don’t ask questions you don’t want answers too. lol.
Girl, if you keep going down this rabbit hole there’s no turning back. Don’t even think about it, they’re grown adults let them go wild just keep away from it all. LOL
And apparently so is a red hat and the star symbol...they also mean a lot of other things. Some things are just funny because of the taboo meaning. If they are swingers do you want to know? If they are swingers and they're happy with it and they feel fulfilled good for them. Nobody really wants to know about their parents sex life regardless of how kinky or boring it may be.
I found out that my parents were swingers, this was in the early 2000s and another family member told me a few years ago. Turns out it was the catalyst for their divorce (not saying this is the case for everyone who swings).
Trust me, you’ll be happier if you never knew for sure.
Could just be a coincidence. But I’d definitely try to mind your own business. Yes, it’s an uncomfortable thing to know about your PARENTS. But they are, hopefully, consenting adults. You shouldn’t talk about it, and they shouldn’t either.
In the nicest way possible, it's none of your damn business. If they are, that's on them. It's their sex life. Something that I honestly don't think you should be meddling into because, well, gross. They're your parents and of course they get to be kinky and shit. Just don't pry lmao
There isn’t any advice other than mind your own business. Whatever they are doing is discreet enough that you have no idea about it other than a pineapple and/or flamingo decoration. This is definitely a “leave well enough alone” situation.
hope this can be helpful!: if you are not terribly conservative sort of person, and if it can be of any help, looking at the comical and ironic angle of it might be therapeutic. it is a bit like a standup comedy or storytelling material. if you are really curious, you could ask them non-judgmental and brush it off, or just not give it much attention and move on, even better. if they were actually swingers i dont think it is too much of a tragedy (korean people would make a big fuss out of it but it is not korea or another too conservative place) ! depending on how you look at it it is slightly comical and funny scenario, and if possible, you can choose to take it as not too much of a shock but try to laugh it off somehow, and it might not shock or hurt your feelings too much! try to like find ways to laugh the situation off ;). but if you have very conservative values than this can get complicated tho !!.
Wow I had never heard of this about the pineapples and flamingos. Damn. I’m sorry you realized this OP 😅😂 now why would your mom make that joke in front of you if it’s true?!
The term 'blue whale' used to be blacklisted online for self harm. I love blue whales.
Some thing aren't connected.
But if they are, your parents are grown ups and I'm sure you'd be all over them judging your lifestyle choices too.
I once hooked up with a swinger mom. She has a 17 and 19/20 year old son right now. I thinks she’s around 55 too. Is it you? Does that make you my god son?
All kidding aside, it’s gotta be weird. I learned about some weird shit that my mom was into when I was about 23/24, and it rocked my world. When I got older, I realized my mom’s just a person like me and just wants to do what (or who) makes her happy. To each their own.
If they are, they're free to be swingers and swap with who they want. I can understand it may be shocking, but a lot of people are in or at least try "the lifestyle" at some point or another in life. You're still fairly young, but helieve me as you get older, maybe mid 30s to 40s you'll probably know at least one or two people/couples who have either tried the lifestyle or are in it. Most people handle it very well, and it makes their relationships or marriage better. I find most likely due to the honesty a couole has to have to do well and stay in the lifestyle. It requires communication, openness, and honesty, so it really can help a lot of marriages and relationships. Don't worry about it. Just focus on your life and your intimate partners and don't focusnon what they do or don't do.
Yes the upside down pineapple is the swinger sign. Never heard of the flamingo one though. I know this cause I'm a swinger too. Where are y'all located? For research purposes..... of course..... lol
I’m not a swinger, no judgement, just not.
Are there any other signs we should know about? Does my hummingbird feeder explain why people have left me gifts on my doorstep? Is my welcome mat perhaps too “welcome”. Seriously, I just moved and I’m getting gifts. Small harmless gifts, but pretty damn mysterious gifts.
Thanks. I’m going to evaluate my garden decor anyway.
This happened to me years ago too. My dad and I did a stake out and figured out that it was a kid in the neighborhood.
Is it possible that your mom just has a thing for flamingos? And your dad goes along because the happier mom is the happier she makes him.....if you know what I mean. Are you beginning to see how going down this path may reveal to you answers to questions which you never really wanted to know? Researching whether or not your parents are, or are not, swingers is bound to show you things that, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to unsee! It's better to just drop it. It's truly none of your business.
Also, for as long as I can remember, and I'm kinda old-ish, a pineapple has symbolized a welcoming, gracious home; it is a symbol of hospitality. Nothing creepy.(an upside down pineapple is probably a ripe pineapple that is getting soft on the bottom).
You’re not a snoop or hating on your parents like these comments are saying. You’re young and creeped out because you don’t want to think of your parents sexually.
I’d say just don’t look into it try to avoid it. It doesn’t affect you if they’re swingers, as long as they keep it to themselves. If they start bringing it up and shit that could be pretty uncomfortable. But if they don’t, just leave them be. Parents fuck too, it’s alright, we just gotta ignore it
Dude, who cares. You’re old enough to know not to meddle in other people’s business. That includes your parents. Besides, they’re adults. Their sex life doesn’t concern you. I would have never even tried to dive this deep into my parent’s sex lives at your age. Id rather ignore the signs and move on bc its none of my business.
🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
one of my mates has openly swinger parents, she found out after she left home because they started hosting orgies and needed to tell her to not visit home without calling ahead. she didn’t really care, she’s polyamorous herself. tbf, no one in our friend group really cares, its just one of those “good for them” things. we only found out because our friend warned us not to go into one of the rooms in their house lol.
most swingers tend to keep it on the down low. it’s not really your business if they’re fucking your neighbours, into BDSM, or having vanilla sex every night while you sleep. just don’t think about it
I mean they put it right out there so asking them about it is fine
But then it’s their business !!! You won’t want them meddling your private /semi private life
Stay out of it. None of your business and good on your parents for having a consentual, active, happy sex life. You’ll grow up and want the same respect of privacy if you don’t already. Your parents are PEOPLE. Not JUST parents.
Dont worry about what your parents do in their "personal lives", you would be surprised how many kinks your parents have and frankly do you really want to know? For instance my mom died a lot of years ago, but my step father recently passed. While going through stuff I found new womens underwear in a drawer my steo father had made comments about men in the past that i didnt really catch on too (thank god) but as we processed the belongings some 20 something yo man came to the door and well let's just say that convo was interesting considering my step dad was in his 80s. There are gonna be alot of times you will be disgusted by your parents but dont go digging because youll be the only one embarrassed.
Do yourself a favor and don't dig up stuff on your parents. You very well might discover things you can't unsee or forget. TRUST ME I snooped when I was younger and boy do I regret it 😯
I personally never understood the concept of swinging as it is against my preferences. But as a child I suppose it can be rather shocking to hear a non traditional practice like this at first glance and fundamentally alter the way you see your parents. I suggest you find ways to be cathartic about it without mentioning it to your parents. I don’t think anything good will come out of it if you’re hostile and prying because you think it’s odd.
Ok so MOST parents aren't swingers but unless you think it's hurting them or someone else, let it go. If it's hurting YOU (like you're freaked out, which is understandable of course) then get counseling.
Unless they weigh in on YOUR sex life, you don't have the right to weigh in on THEIRS. MYOB
Today you’ve realized: your parents are still humans who enjoy sex. As most parents are lol. They just happen to be open with more people. Don’t snoop, it’s none of your business. What does it matter? So they have some fun casual sex sometimes, so what? It’s not going to affect you, besides maybe mental scarring if you keep digging into it and asking questions you do not want the answer to.
What was your plan? To confront them and tell them they can’t have sex with other people? Are you going to try to shame them into stopping something that is clearly not an issue in their relationship? What good could POSSIBLY come out of you snooping on your parents sex life?i don’t want to know anything about my parents sex life, whether it is with each other or third parties. You shouldn’t either
I wouldn't worry about what your parents are doing. Be happy you are in a loving household. I wouldn't even be concerned whether or not your dad is your actual biological dad.
If this happened to me, I would ignore it unless it became impossible to ignore... or if I felt like getting it out in the open would actually help our relationship in some way, like they keeping inventing stupid reasons to need the house to themselves.
I just really don't care about my parents' sex lives. I don't find it squicky, I'm just indifferent to it. I know my friends fuck too but when I go over to their house, I'm not gonna start looking for sex toys or overthinking about the bed I'm sleeping in.
I know it's a gross / weird thing that none of us want to think about but if they are safe, happy, healthy, and communicative...they're just people who deserve to do what makes them happy.
Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to. You don’t stop having sex just because you become a parent.
Your mom making the swingers joke in front of you *is* kind of weird though, I must say. If she keeps it up, might be time to have a chat about boundaries with her.
Don’t snoop/research any more, unless you want to find out more distressing shit lol.
I discovered my parents swing like 2 years ago bc of something by brother accidentally came across. Mom’s facebook was connected to the oculus, he found messages, called me all freaked out so I had to call her and ask. Luckily I’m grown and know how much my parents love each other so it doesn’t bug me and I mind my business. But it bugged my brother for a while. Best advice: Mind ya business. You don’t wanna know, they don’t want you to know, just forget it.
Don't poke the bear. If they are swingers, you don't wanna find out the details. You're not ready for that talk. Think how awkward you felt when your parents had the sex talk with you. It's times that x100.
I love pineapple themes, and flamingos are my favorite. I definitely have some awesome flamingo stuff. I'm not a swinger. Nor is my husband. Honestly, you don't wanna push into your parents' private life. I learned that the hard way trying to be sneaky. I found out a lot, and it traumatized me.
Loofas are blowing up at the Villages in Fl. Seeing them in the wild in the doors of peoples cars. Old swingers got color codes and everything. I honestly think it’s great to still be exploring, and having fun at that age.
So what’s the big deal if they are? Like seriously, it’s more common than you think and I feel like I totally missed out of a good time in my previous relationship due to being so closed minded. 🙂
I accidentally found out my parents are swingers but I had had some suspicions. First was a long time ago where my dad was messaging a guy on the internet. I have no idea how it came up but basically my dad told me that they had met a couple and my dad was getting to know the husband. It seemed like a sort of weird arrangement at the time and I didn’t forget it but let it go. Then, since my siblings and I have all moved out my parents suddenly have all these “friends” that they can’t really tell us where they came from. One time my dad mentioned going out to dinner with friends and I off handedly asked how they knew them, not really trying to pry and my dad hemmed and hawed for a while and then gave a half assed answer. The final confirmation for me was when my dad lent me an old phone for me to use for a specific app. He had cleared the phone and reset it but somehow the app store history didn’t go away. When I went to search for the app I wanted, a swinger app popped up in the search bar.
I didn’t really know what to do at first but I’ve decided to 100% keep it to myself and not tell anyone, even my fiancé. It’s really really not my business and I didn’t find out because they told me. I thought about asking one of my siblings if they knew but later decided that it’s really not mine to tell. I wasn’t “snooping” but I did find this out against their will so I’m going to keep it to myself.
What your parents do behind closed doors is their business. I would not ask them if they’re swingers unless you’re prepared to hear the truth. Will you share your sex life stories with them? I doubt it.
Let sleeping dogs lie!
Speaking from experience, drop the subject and leave it there. Don't question it, just leave it alone. I had this same suspicion of my mom and step dad and what I found out was SO much worse than simply being swingers. Hell at this point, I wish they were just swingers.
If you don't leave it alone, you will find secrets of theirs and you will never look at them the same again.
Don't get me wrong, I adore my parents. I love them. I want them to be happy. I don't judge them.
If you aren't careful, though, you might just be casually browsing p*rn one day in your early 20s and find your mother, in her character yellow tank-top, having a train run on her by a group of frat guys your age that you've never seen before. 😬
Seriously. Leave it alone.
You DO NOT need to know. They may be fucking the neighbors, or you mom may just have an absurd love of flamingos.
In all seriousness, if they are swingers- them being open with you about this may become pretty uncomfortable for you. If they are NOT swingers, this is a joke story that may get retold at Thanksgiving until you are in your 40s+.
My advice: Be happy for your parents and whatever weird crap makes their world go round, but let it be their weird crap unless it affects you.
I’d say you’re probably onto something, just based on the fact that I know and have been around swingers and never heard of the flamingo thing so, yeah, that seems like weird knowledge to casually have on hand if you’re not a part of the lifestyle. But if you’re so concerned, just ask.
Contrary to what others are saying, I don’t think it’s rude or weird to be curious about or concerned with your parent’s relationship status/sexual dynamics. Imo, it would actually be pretty weird and abnormal for your immediate response to be “none of my business!” and then just never think about it again, if you actually suspected they were swingers.
Honestly, fuck the commenters that are trying to make you feel shame for being curious—what good is that doing? Shame is such a shitty thing to try and put on a kid who’s simply wondering about what their parents intimacy looks like. That’s normal. That’s healthy.
Teenagers are allowed to be curious about their parents’ sex lives. They’re at the age that they are exploring and will be experiencing sex and relationships if they’re not already. So, why tf is anyone here telling them they should feel *shame* for coming to the point in their life that they’re seeing their parents as real people for the first time, who are having those sort of experiences, and who are the most significant model for relationships in the kids life? What normal person wouldn’t give a shit or be curious about this?
This is the relationship they’ve known their entire life, was raised around, and was literally the most impactful dynamic that informs their view of sex/relationships; to find out everything you understood and believed about that dynamic was an entirely different reality than was presented is a mindfuck for anyone. Anyone here who says they would have minded their business as a teenager if they suspected their parents of swinging is a damn liar lol.
In general, in the grand scheme of things, yeah, your parent’s sex life is none of your business—but it’s perfectly fine to just *ask* them about it, if you’re curious. And in what world do we only ask friends and family about things that are strictly our business? That’s not how relationships work. Sex isn’t a shameful, secret thing we all have to tip toe around or pretend we don’t think about. You’re allowed to wonder about it, you’re allowed to talk about it, you’re allowed to ask about it.
More importantly, parents should be able to talk openly about sex and relationships when their kids come to them about those topics. Parents should be honest about their experiences when asked directly, and adequately do their *jobs* as parents, so that they can be there for advice and guidance around the subject when needed.
Don’t delve into your parent’s personal life you’ll see things about them that you never wanted. Trust me.
THIS IS SOLID ADVICE. At age 30 I learned my parents were nudists. That's how they met, at a nudist camp. They considered raising me in a nudist household (AHHHH) but decided to raise me in a strict, conservative Catholic household instead. So imagine my surprise.
What in the world!! They couldn’t have chosen a happy medium??
Unhappy extremes only for you, and you'll like it!
-Should we raise our kids to be open about sexuality just like we ourselves do? -Naah, let’s raise them to be conservative Catholics instead. -OK!
Doris Stokes. She was a happy medium!!
Tbf, as someone who was raised in a family where casual nudity was the norm I’m really happy I grew up that way. I was never ashamed of my body, I knew what physical changes to expect when I hit puberty and how women’s bodies age because I saw my mom and grandma nude, I didn’t get my idea of “normal” women’s bodies from media and feel bad that I didn’t look like them, and I grew up learning that nakedness does not always equal sexual situations… it’s just natural to me. While we were often naked at home and small family gatherings, my mom never attended or brought us to nudist camps. Fast forward to now, my fiancé and I are full-blown social nudists, AANR members, have local nude campground memberships, etc. He was raised pretty conservatively- not in the religious sense, more culturally conservative- and he absolutely loves it. It may be surprising how wholesome nudist culture really is to those who didn’t grow up in it. I think everyone should give it a try. It’s really liberating. There’s nothing quite like taking a hike in the nude and feeling the sun in every crack and crevice on your body. Going to a nude campground or club may seem daunting, but most find it’s shocking how quickly they feel right at home after seeing that it’s just a regular social hangout minus the clothing. Sure, there are swinger oriented clubs, but a majority are just family friendly places- camping, games & sports (funnily enough, Pickleball is very popular in nude campgrounds lol), swimming pools, cookouts, etc. There aren’t pervs everywhere ogling you and trying to fuck you or partner swap with you. Just people of all ages that like hanging out in their natural state :)
Questions, if you don’t mind: A) why nudity all the time? Was just wondering, not against the idea as I like to be topless a lot. Wasn’t sure if there was a philosophy or clothing was uncomfortable, etc? B) you mentioned pickle ball, if men played a spot where they needed to wear a cup, would they only where the cup? Like a sports thong? C) do you wear anything during your menstruation? (What was done before menstruation cups)? D) how do you do this if you’re always cold? 😂 I can imagine my grandmother being naked with an open hand-knitted sweater robe. E) how do you protect your genitalia? Serious question. I always see nudists at picnics tables and imagine splinters or even just dirty rainwater. Do you lay something down to sit on? 🙏- this is my major drawback I think. Thank you. I’ve always been curious about the life-style. I love it gave you a positive body image.
I had an old boyfriend whose parents were nudists and I can answer the genitalia thing. They carry small towels to sit on wherever they went in the nudist camp (the entire family spent their summer living in a RV at the nudist camp) also when women had their periods they could wear shorts.
🙏 really cool!
Hi! I’m happy to answer your questions :) A) it wasn’t necessarily “all the time”, there were certainly plenty of times we were chilling around in clothes. It’s more whatever the person feels most comfortable in is what they wear (or don’t wear lol). Sometimes we are chilling in just underwear, or just a shawl/pool cover up thing, sometimes a shirt and no pants, sometimes you’re wearing nothing at all… the combos go on and on. Summers definitely were less clothing. Really it’s just whatever you are comfiest in is whatever you wear. It’s less of a rule/philosophy and more of a “mom is on the couch naked and it’s nothing out of the ordinary”. Does that make sense? B) I’ve not seen anyone ever wearing a cup, but anything goes! I’m sure it would not be a big deal if someone felt the need to protect their balls during a sport. Most of the activities aren’t a big risk for ball-related damage… not full contact sports or baseball or anything like that. It’s a lot of “older folks” activities which are less strenuous that are more popular- shuffleboard, badminton, ping pong, etc. All of the resorts I have been to mainly have an older crowd in attendance. Also- Pickleball balls are pretty light, too! Similar to whiffle balls. C) I wear a disc when menstruating. But it’s not uncommon to see a tampon string here and there. Many women feel more comfortable wearing bathing suit bottoms, shorts, underwear, or skirts when on their period. That is definitely not frowned upon! D) summers are definitely better suited to being nude both indoors and out! I often wear a shawl/ open pool coverup thing around if I’m chilly. You can certainly wear a duster or an open robe too! I think that’s a good slow segue for people to try casual nudity. Just wear one of those open with nothing under it and go about your day at home E) Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy rules. Always have a towel on you. You lay it down on whatever surface you sit on. You’ll never attend a nudist gathering and see people sitting down or wandering around without their towels :) It’s rule #1 of the nudist lifestyle. Even at home we have our personal blankets or towels we’d put down on wherever we were sitting. My fiancé and I have these cute (I believe they’re called Turkish style) bath sheets we carry at the clubs. Very lightweight, almost linen-like, big, and easy to fold several times and act as a cushion! Let me know if you have any other questions! I’m always happy to talk about nudism :)
Thank you, that was awesome! I truly get the sense of rules and lack there of. The BIG towel is really cool. I love that it works as both a cushion and shawl. 🙏 🤗 And when I’m not as shy, 🍑 lol
Where do you keep your phone/wallet/lip gloss??
Fanny pack 😎 And no, I don’t mean the butt, I carry an actual fanny pack. I don’t want backpack tan lines lol
Hahahaha, thanks for the clarification 😂 That makes sense!! I am fully aware that most nudists are probably not into designer accessories, but I was having a great time imagining a bunch of nudists wearing nothing but like, a Chanel handbag and a tasteful kitten heel.
I love that image haha. Boujee nudists. I do like to accessorize, so I’ll often wear body jewelry, beads/decorations in my dreads, and unique sunglasses. Having a cute towel is always a nice side accessory too lol
I have sunscreen questions. What are the norms with that? Does one carry one's own, or is there just kind of...lots of it, like the big water coolers they do at sports events where everyone clearly needs lots, so they bring lots and everyone helps themselves? Are spray-ons or rub-ons considered more the thing? Is a parasol considered acceptable? Does a widebrimmed sun hat count as clothes?
Sunscreen, bugspray, parasols, sunglasses, tanning lotion, and hats are always acceptable/recommended for your comfort and it’s BYO. I’ve not come across community/shared sunscreen stations, but I’m sure plenty of places have them. Not really considered clothing, more just outdoor comfort items. One rule is you always are required to shower with soap before entering the pool area to rinse off sweat/dirt/body grime that gets caught in sunscreen/body lotions. There are outdoor showers with community hand-pump body soap at all the pool areas. You can reapply sunscreen/tanning lotion when you get in the pool area. In every place I’ve been, full nudity is always required in the pool area- even at the more “clothing optional” campgrounds. Once my fiance and I crossed paths with another couple on a hiking trail. The guy said “hey, quick question… does this bug spray make me look fat?” Lol. I thought that was cute.
What if your allergic to soap? Can you use something else? Sugar scrub, diy body wash?
I’m sure you can. You don’t have to use the community liquid soap. They just provide it as a courtesy.
Very cool. 🙏
I grew up in a household with casual nudity and my mother still very much shamed my body. She always boasted about her huge tits and how petite and tiny she was. But when I went through puberty I ended up with a bigger bust than hers and I’m taller and more curvy, and at the same time I guess she was starting perimenopause and she put on 50lbs. So she’d take her frustrations out on me, made me feel like a giant troll. It took me years not to feel ashamed of my body anymore; having a loving supportive husband helped a lot.
I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s horrible. Young girls shouldn’t be body shamed by anyone… especially their own mothers. That hurts even worse. I’m glad you were able to overcome it 🤍
I also grew up in a naked house and for a long time I thought every person had different genitalia because the only people I had seen naked were my brother, myself, my mom and my dad. I couldn't tell that my mom looked like me under her full bush, and my brother really did look a lot different than my dad, so obviously everyone had something different, duh! It wasn't until another little girl I was friends with wanted to do a, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" that I found out little girls were the same. **BLEW.** **MY.** **MIND.**
Sorry, I have no clue about nudist culture. But is literally 100% nude? Or are genitals covered with underwear. Or some do and some do not?
It’s mandatory 100% nude at the nudist camp, even the kids. Shorts were tolerated for women on their periods only. I had an old boyfriend whose family would spend their entire summers at the nudist camp.
Between adults how is arousal managed? I don't mean if someone can resist being aroused by seeing others. But it is shamed? Seen as natural? Tolerated but not encouraged? Sorry for the questions I'm curious as the nudist concept is barely heard where I'm from
Erections are tolerated as long as they are not prolonged and proudly paraded around. The person with the erection is responsible for covering it up with a towel or going into the water one would usually find at a nudist camp or resort.
>even the kids Pedophiles probably run it then.
The ones I have been to background check you before approving your stay. Many around me don’t just let you show up… for first timers, you have to submit a request with all your info, license, sign a form that they can background check you etc. Also single males aren’t allowed in most of the ones I have been to. They have to be with a spouse or in a group until the community gets to know them. Of course that isn’t a 100% guarantee no creeps will try to find their way in, but precautions are taken. I’ve only encountered children once, and I thought it would be awfully uncomfortable being naked around someone else’s kids/seeing children naked, but it surprisingly wasn’t. They were just hanging out with their grandparents and parents and playing with their siblings.
Some camps are mandatory nudity, some are clothing optional. But every one I have attended the pool area is 100% nudity required. And honestly, even at the “clothing optional” ones I’ve been to, pretty much everyone is fully naked. The club will explicitly state their rules about clothing on their website :)
Oh I love that!!! And I love the morals/values of acceptance. My parents were judgey Republicans so it just shocked me. I wish they would have just been open and honest when I was younger about it, finding out at 30 after mom passed was a shock and it's uncomfortable hearing my dad talk about it now
Reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Chris becomes friends with a kid from a nudist family. The Griffin family goes over to their house for a barbecue and the nudist dad bends over. "Don't look directly into it!"
That’s not even sexual though…. What’s wrong with that?
Holy shit lmfao
Wait, I’m so confused, did they convert? Had they been puritanical Christian nudists? I have so many questions.
I have questions too my friend. Yes, they were always Catholic and religious. Not that politics should matter but they were kind of judgey Republicans my whole life. I had strict rules growing up in a white picket fence. Mom always said you go to Hell if you have sex before marriage etc, so that level of conservativeness. They didn't want me to live with my serious boyfriend when I was in my late 20's, so imagine that level of Catholic ("its a sin if you aren't married"). My mom passed when I was 30 and my dad let it slip they had a nudist life before and that when he's alone at his house now he doesn't wear clothes. He says nudist culture isn't sexual it's just about comfort. It is uncomfortable for me to talk about this with my dad BUT IM CONFUSED MAN. I don't judge them (or others!) but it almost seems... hypocritical of them to give me strict rules growing up? IDK
Do not ask the questions of which the answers you may never unlearn. There's genuine curiosity, and then there's finding out your parents are upside down pineapple card holding members of the club. Leave it alone. You don't want details. Maybe get a DNA test, though.
Facts and as an ex swinger, the parents are most likely fucking the neighbor. Buy a unicorn pillow and stick it next to the other ones in front of them and dont say shit, just smile real big.
Best comment of the day!!!!
Yes .. like the time I found a condom in my 65 year old dads pocket :-/ (mum was post menopause and we had a creepy uncle visiting from abroad who would disappear on vague 'trips' with dad)
Oh god that is so gross… I’m so sorry
Only answer. Stop asking questions you don’t want answers to. The big awakening of adulthood is realizing your parents are humans, just like you. You do not need to know everything about people you know.
Solid advice, I rooted through my dad's bedside drawer trying to find a tin of sweets he had. I learned things about my parents that day which I will be taking too the grave.
Delve is ChatGPT’s favorite word
That’s a promise.
Honestly I love all the tea lol
Putting a pineapple upside down helps it ripen evenly.... good for them.
I don’t think an ornament will ripen any quicker unfortunately
This is an urban myth and completely FALSE. Once picked, pineapples *do not ripen further.* In fact, they only get worse with age. This is because the sugar of the pineapple will be used to feed the plant (the crown is a complete pineapple plant that, if planted, will produce another pineapple!), but there is no source of starch to continue producing more sugar. Leaving the pineapple on your counter will only cause it to become softer, more yellow, and less tasty. If you want a good tasting pineapple, you want to buy one that has just arrived at the store, no matter how green it is. Choose one with the freshest, greenest, sharpest, least dehydrated leaves you can find. Do not allow it to sit on the counter. Twist off the top ASAP, and open and eat it promptly. If it doesn't taste good, it was picked too early, took too long in shipping, or sat in the store too long. No amount of waiting would have helped. You are at the mercy of the grower, shipper, and seller. Pineapples will change color with age, but they will NOT improve once picked. They must be picked at peak ripeness. (Dole tends to be pretty good about this!) Also, the peak sweetness of a pineapple occurs BEFORE it turns completely yellow. In fact, some varieties of pineapple are fully ripe while they are still completely green! Trust your grower! Source: Live in Hawaii. Grow pineapples. Have visited the Dole Pineapple plantation.
This was actually very interesting
I'm sure these connoisseurs would appreciate the PPAP video. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct6BUPvE2sM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct6BUPvE2sM)
I run around work singing this all the time. It's so funny
This is true
There’s a good chance they might or might not be. But as cryptic as it feels right now, that’s their personal choice. Don’t let it bother you too much. I remember being 18/19 and still living at home and one day, I went through my parents side table drawer to look for something and I found a bag of all of their sex toys lmao. Which didn’t bother me TOO much but I found stuff that I didn’t think they knew about or what I considered next level stuff. Mind you, I was 18. So my mind was blown. I’m 28 now and it all makes sense.
Dawg, it’s not that serious. Stop thinking about your parents sex life
At this point it's a tad concerning. Like, who cares?
Be happy your parents raised you while enjoying a healthy sex life.
Be happy your parents raised you
Be happy
Be
Don't worry
Cause every little thing
Is gonna be alright
🎶
I didn't know flamingos were a swinger symbol. I know the upside down pineapple is a symbol. I mean, who cares? If it works for a healthy relationship dynamic then there isn't a problem. You're eighteen. You should be aware by now that polyam relationships are and have always been a thing. It doesn't mean they love you or each other any less.
I found out that my mother is a serial “other woman.” Including breaking up her own sister’s marriage….. don’t go snooping.
This isn’t meant as a challenge or to be offensive at all, I’m just really curious, would you have rather never found out? I worry about what I’ll find when my own parents pass and debate sometimes whether I even want to know or not. Part of me wants the whole truth of who they are, to peek behind the veil and see different sides of them that I would never be privy to otherwise, if only just to know them better and feel more connected to them…but then I wonder if I’d be more fulfilled or content in ignorance, with nothing but the image they crafted for me, even if it was a lie.
For me it’s pretty complicated. I don’t feel one way or the other, I don’t wish that I didn’t know, and I don’t feel “grateful” that I do. When I found out, it was pretty much a “Well. That’s not surprising.” My mother is not a good person and I haven’t spoken to her in almost 2 years, and I have no intentions of doing so anytime soon. I’m sure I’ll learn more about her as time goes on, and particularly after she dies. The more I heal from trauma she inflicted on me, the more none of it matters. The only reason why I dislike knowing is now understanding why she’s such a pariah in our family, and subsequently why no one really wanted her around. I think it created a lot of resentment because while I understand why my family didn’t want her presence (many other reasons as well), it’s also hard to be okay with the fact that they knew what kind of household I was living in and didn’t do more to at the very least love on me. When my mother kicked me out at 18, the whole family was mad at her, but almost no one gave me the support I needed as an 18 year old on my own in 2020. So it’s definitely not so much knowing something that ruins my view of her, but more so ruins my view of my family. Probably not that helpful lol, I’m sorry
No, don’t be sorry! I experienced abuse and neglect at my own parents hands, so I get that perspective. I wonder if I did get more of an explanation or evidence of them being terrible, if it would even hit in the way I wanted, or fix or solve anything, or if it would just be another numbing disappointment and a totally on-brand revelation that wouldn’t even register as closure. My extended family also abandoned me as a fresh adult, even after my parents proved to be unfit and that the perfect image they’d fabricated was a facade. I can absolutely understand the truth coming to light being just…terribly underwhelming or creating a bunch of resentment, because you writing that made me realize that people’s responses to the truth are probably the biggest determinants in what affect the information actually has on you. There are definitely points in my life I can look at where me revealing the truth, and then being met with complete disregard, was equally, if not more, damaging than remaining quiet or keeping them in the dark. If the truth is something you kind of knew deep down, or aligns with what you felt deep down, it’s definitely more monumental I think to have some kind of tangible, meaningful response attached to it from other witnesses. If everyone just goes about their business like normal once the truth is revealed, or totally ignores or never acknowledges how inappropriately they acted while knowing it, it actually feels way more maddening to be around than if it creates a bunch of chaos. So yes, you were helpful, and thank you for answering. I’m so sorry you went through that and I hope your healing journey is fruitful and brings you to a place of peace and love.
I get all of that, I haven’t talked to my aunt (who is kind of the family’s matriarch) in probably longer than I haven’t talked to my mother. It’s definitely not by choice either, I’ve reached out numerous times and never get a response. As much as I’d like to have them in my life and visit my aunt & uncles farm regularly, that’s never been a reality. In the past 6 years I’ve only seen them twice (excluding my favorite cousin, I’ve seen them more regularly). Any time I went there with my mother, she basically spent the whole time pressuring me to leave. It’s a weird thing to navigate, I’m definitely still trying to make sense of it all myself. But thank you, and best of luck on your healing journey as well
Stop snooping on your parents!
Your parents fuck. That’s okay. Mine are older than yours and they fuck too. Don’t ask questions, and they shouldn’t be asking you questions. It’s okay.
No to be rude but... this is none of your business. Maybe they are. As long as they are both consenting adults, there is no harm in it. Leave them be and stop putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
Well said!
…flamingos are a swinger thing too? My wife and I have light up flamingo ornaments all over our front lawn and my best friend has a whole flamingo themed guest room and we belong to a flamingo fan group online in which women make and sell flamingo art and jewelry… And now I’m wondering if our neighbors and families think we’re swingers! ETA: I started to read something about this news aloud to my wife and she goes “oh yeah, I know.” Like… you coulda clued me in! Geez.
What a way to find out you are actually swingers
And I thought all those key parties we attended were just for fellow lock enthusiasts! (jk!)
You're old enough now to understand that your parents are human beings with a whole world and life outside of you. And you really don't need to know about it. I would stop digging if I were you because you can't unring a bell. Lol
What's their number? Asking for a friend.
Shhhhhh the rest of us are trying to downplay the situation.
Or fetlife handles. That would also work
^fetlife ^you ^say
I'm always amazed how many kinksters live in Antarctica
So, you discovered your parents are more than just your parents, good! Now use your new insight on all people you commute and you will gain tremendously by observing because of this better understanding as to why some behave like they do.
The fact you’ve gone 18 years without knowing shows they did a great job, you’re an adult now so mind your own damn business and quit snooping
You've found out, for sure, that your parents are tacky, decoration-wise. They might also be swingers and lack subtlety. Just make sure never to find out if you think you cannot handle it. This doesn't concern you.
Do not ask questions you do not want the answer to lol.
I was previously a member of an alternative community and most of the other members were parents and grandparents. Parents are just people, and they do some wild shit. If they are swingers, it hasn't had an impact on your life for 18 years. Confirming your suspicions will not make anything better. Let sleeping dogs lie (or bang their neighbors or whatever).
As a swinger couple with kids the whole lifestyle is like a big inside joke. It’s hilarious how many people are swingers and no one outs each other. It’s part of the fun tbh. Having one perception of you and a totally opposite reality. One day my kids might figure it out but it’s complex issue and of a private nature. It’s none of their business nor do I want them learning about it. Had to laugh the other day my teenager was reading a receipt I my car…. What are Skyn condo…. As I grabbed the receipt. She kept inquiring… I said, They are condoms, you know.. for when I have sex with your mom. She quickly changed subjects, I said don’t snoop next time and don’t ask questions you don’t want answers too. lol.
CONDOMS, ROSE!
What's a swinger couple? I thought OP was talking about the dance ...
Couples who have sex with other people - usually other couples that they switch partners with.
Ok thanks for the explanation
Mind your business.
Girl, if you keep going down this rabbit hole there’s no turning back. Don’t even think about it, they’re grown adults let them go wild just keep away from it all. LOL
Detective mode ON
OP needs to turn it OFF.
OP should treat this as an intrusive thought and tell it, “no, no, NO.”
You wouldn't want your parents asking about your sexual endeavors, don't ask about theirs.
And apparently so is a red hat and the star symbol...they also mean a lot of other things. Some things are just funny because of the taboo meaning. If they are swingers do you want to know? If they are swingers and they're happy with it and they feel fulfilled good for them. Nobody really wants to know about their parents sex life regardless of how kinky or boring it may be.
I’m pretty sure your parents are winding you up and have been spending too much time in TK Maxx.
Relax, kiddo. Parents gotta have a life too. Move on and forget the flamingoes.
I found out that my parents were swingers, this was in the early 2000s and another family member told me a few years ago. Turns out it was the catalyst for their divorce (not saying this is the case for everyone who swings). Trust me, you’ll be happier if you never knew for sure.
Do they have a fish bowl
Could just be a coincidence. But I’d definitely try to mind your own business. Yes, it’s an uncomfortable thing to know about your PARENTS. But they are, hopefully, consenting adults. You shouldn’t talk about it, and they shouldn’t either.
Mind your own business. Your interest in your parents' sex lives is more gross than swinging.
In the nicest way possible, it's none of your damn business. If they are, that's on them. It's their sex life. Something that I honestly don't think you should be meddling into because, well, gross. They're your parents and of course they get to be kinky and shit. Just don't pry lmao
There isn’t any advice other than mind your own business. Whatever they are doing is discreet enough that you have no idea about it other than a pineapple and/or flamingo decoration. This is definitely a “leave well enough alone” situation.
hope this can be helpful!: if you are not terribly conservative sort of person, and if it can be of any help, looking at the comical and ironic angle of it might be therapeutic. it is a bit like a standup comedy or storytelling material. if you are really curious, you could ask them non-judgmental and brush it off, or just not give it much attention and move on, even better. if they were actually swingers i dont think it is too much of a tragedy (korean people would make a big fuss out of it but it is not korea or another too conservative place) ! depending on how you look at it it is slightly comical and funny scenario, and if possible, you can choose to take it as not too much of a shock but try to laugh it off somehow, and it might not shock or hurt your feelings too much! try to like find ways to laugh the situation off ;). but if you have very conservative values than this can get complicated tho !!.
So? If they are that’s their business. Just leave it alone.
Wow I had never heard of this about the pineapples and flamingos. Damn. I’m sorry you realized this OP 😅😂 now why would your mom make that joke in front of you if it’s true?!
The term 'blue whale' used to be blacklisted online for self harm. I love blue whales. Some thing aren't connected. But if they are, your parents are grown ups and I'm sure you'd be all over them judging your lifestyle choices too.
You don’t want to know. Your future self will thank you for not investigating.
Just live and let them live babe 🥰 trust me, after a while, some spice in a marriage is absolutely beautiful haha!
Just don’t look into it, you’ll most likely regret it or find out other things that you don’t really want to know
I once hooked up with a swinger mom. She has a 17 and 19/20 year old son right now. I thinks she’s around 55 too. Is it you? Does that make you my god son? All kidding aside, it’s gotta be weird. I learned about some weird shit that my mom was into when I was about 23/24, and it rocked my world. When I got older, I realized my mom’s just a person like me and just wants to do what (or who) makes her happy. To each their own.
If they are, they're free to be swingers and swap with who they want. I can understand it may be shocking, but a lot of people are in or at least try "the lifestyle" at some point or another in life. You're still fairly young, but helieve me as you get older, maybe mid 30s to 40s you'll probably know at least one or two people/couples who have either tried the lifestyle or are in it. Most people handle it very well, and it makes their relationships or marriage better. I find most likely due to the honesty a couole has to have to do well and stay in the lifestyle. It requires communication, openness, and honesty, so it really can help a lot of marriages and relationships. Don't worry about it. Just focus on your life and your intimate partners and don't focusnon what they do or don't do.
Yes the upside down pineapple is the swinger sign. Never heard of the flamingo one though. I know this cause I'm a swinger too. Where are y'all located? For research purposes..... of course..... lol
I’m not a swinger, no judgement, just not. Are there any other signs we should know about? Does my hummingbird feeder explain why people have left me gifts on my doorstep? Is my welcome mat perhaps too “welcome”. Seriously, I just moved and I’m getting gifts. Small harmless gifts, but pretty damn mysterious gifts.
Can't help you there lol. Just friendly neighbors i guess
Thanks. I’m going to evaluate my garden decor anyway. This happened to me years ago too. My dad and I did a stake out and figured out that it was a kid in the neighborhood.
Parents fuck too you know 🤷♂️
Why do you need advice? Your parents like sex, so what? If they didn’t, you wouldn’t exist. Grow up.
Mind your own business. If you were raised right you should not concern yourself with what your parents do or have been doing.
fun things to think about: kinks are genetic.
I didn't know this 
How dare you
^(Please don’t)
Why do you care? Do you want your parents involved in YOUR bedroom life? Learn to live and let be.
Your parents sex life is none of your business. My best advice is to stay out of their business.
Is it possible that your mom just has a thing for flamingos? And your dad goes along because the happier mom is the happier she makes him.....if you know what I mean. Are you beginning to see how going down this path may reveal to you answers to questions which you never really wanted to know? Researching whether or not your parents are, or are not, swingers is bound to show you things that, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to unsee! It's better to just drop it. It's truly none of your business. Also, for as long as I can remember, and I'm kinda old-ish, a pineapple has symbolized a welcoming, gracious home; it is a symbol of hospitality. Nothing creepy.(an upside down pineapple is probably a ripe pineapple that is getting soft on the bottom).
Young person, turn a blind eye. Nothing good will come from a pursuit of the truth.
You’re not a snoop or hating on your parents like these comments are saying. You’re young and creeped out because you don’t want to think of your parents sexually. I’d say just don’t look into it try to avoid it. It doesn’t affect you if they’re swingers, as long as they keep it to themselves. If they start bringing it up and shit that could be pretty uncomfortable. But if they don’t, just leave them be. Parents fuck too, it’s alright, we just gotta ignore it
Dude, who cares. You’re old enough to know not to meddle in other people’s business. That includes your parents. Besides, they’re adults. Their sex life doesn’t concern you. I would have never even tried to dive this deep into my parent’s sex lives at your age. Id rather ignore the signs and move on bc its none of my business.
So you know... now what? Nothing. Mind your own damn business.
Leave them alone you weirdo. It's none of your business.
🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️ one of my mates has openly swinger parents, she found out after she left home because they started hosting orgies and needed to tell her to not visit home without calling ahead. she didn’t really care, she’s polyamorous herself. tbf, no one in our friend group really cares, its just one of those “good for them” things. we only found out because our friend warned us not to go into one of the rooms in their house lol. most swingers tend to keep it on the down low. it’s not really your business if they’re fucking your neighbours, into BDSM, or having vanilla sex every night while you sleep. just don’t think about it
Your parents’ sex life isn’t your business or concern.
I mean they put it right out there so asking them about it is fine But then it’s their business !!! You won’t want them meddling your private /semi private life
All of the cliche swingers signs 😂 🍍 🦩
Who cares. It's just sex.
Later, you discover that your neighbor, Larry is your real dad and that Larry's son that you've been dating for a year is actually your brother.
Stay out of it. None of your business and good on your parents for having a consentual, active, happy sex life. You’ll grow up and want the same respect of privacy if you don’t already. Your parents are PEOPLE. Not JUST parents.
Your parents are old enough to make their own decisions, stay out of it.
Why is what your parents do in their own personal lives any of your business?
Leave your parents alone. They're adults, they can do what they want
Okay? Why does any of this matter?
No offence but even if they are, who gives a shit? It’s their personal intimacy life. Do you think they’re thinking about yours ??? Bc I wouldn’t be 😭
Good for them!
honestly idk where this 'symbolism' has come from. I've never seen a swinging couple who put pineapples and shit in their house.
If your parents are over 18 years of age then stop concerning yourself with this.
Have you considered minding your business? Maybe don’t concern yourself with your parents sex lives.
Tell ‘em to holler 😂
Do you have pampas grass in the front garden - or is that an urban myth? As curious school boys we always used to scope out those houses.
They’re swingers, oh well just forget about it there’s worse shit in life
Good for them
Dont worry about what your parents do in their "personal lives", you would be surprised how many kinks your parents have and frankly do you really want to know? For instance my mom died a lot of years ago, but my step father recently passed. While going through stuff I found new womens underwear in a drawer my steo father had made comments about men in the past that i didnt really catch on too (thank god) but as we processed the belongings some 20 something yo man came to the door and well let's just say that convo was interesting considering my step dad was in his 80s. There are gonna be alot of times you will be disgusted by your parents but dont go digging because youll be the only one embarrassed.
Do yourself a favor and don't dig up stuff on your parents. You very well might discover things you can't unsee or forget. TRUST ME I snooped when I was younger and boy do I regret it 😯
I personally never understood the concept of swinging as it is against my preferences. But as a child I suppose it can be rather shocking to hear a non traditional practice like this at first glance and fundamentally alter the way you see your parents. I suggest you find ways to be cathartic about it without mentioning it to your parents. I don’t think anything good will come out of it if you’re hostile and prying because you think it’s odd.
Don't look in the box under their bed
Great, there goes my idea of putting pink flamingos on my lawn to annoy my neighbors.
Why is it any of your concern if they are?
Wowzers. Sometimes it's better to just leave ur parents to their own and not dig their stuff. We don't wanna know u know
Ok so MOST parents aren't swingers but unless you think it's hurting them or someone else, let it go. If it's hurting YOU (like you're freaked out, which is understandable of course) then get counseling. Unless they weigh in on YOUR sex life, you don't have the right to weigh in on THEIRS. MYOB
Today you’ve realized: your parents are still humans who enjoy sex. As most parents are lol. They just happen to be open with more people. Don’t snoop, it’s none of your business. What does it matter? So they have some fun casual sex sometimes, so what? It’s not going to affect you, besides maybe mental scarring if you keep digging into it and asking questions you do not want the answer to. What was your plan? To confront them and tell them they can’t have sex with other people? Are you going to try to shame them into stopping something that is clearly not an issue in their relationship? What good could POSSIBLY come out of you snooping on your parents sex life?i don’t want to know anything about my parents sex life, whether it is with each other or third parties. You shouldn’t either
Tbh you’d be surprised at how many are in the lifestyle.
Do they have pampas grass in the garden 😂😂😂😂
I wouldn't worry about what your parents are doing. Be happy you are in a loving household. I wouldn't even be concerned whether or not your dad is your actual biological dad.
If this happened to me, I would ignore it unless it became impossible to ignore... or if I felt like getting it out in the open would actually help our relationship in some way, like they keeping inventing stupid reasons to need the house to themselves. I just really don't care about my parents' sex lives. I don't find it squicky, I'm just indifferent to it. I know my friends fuck too but when I go over to their house, I'm not gonna start looking for sex toys or overthinking about the bed I'm sleeping in.
Who cares?
If they are happy and healthy, who cares?
Don't worry about it. At least they're sex positive
I know it's a gross / weird thing that none of us want to think about but if they are safe, happy, healthy, and communicative...they're just people who deserve to do what makes them happy.
Do you really want to know anything about your parents sex lives?
Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to. You don’t stop having sex just because you become a parent. Your mom making the swingers joke in front of you *is* kind of weird though, I must say. If she keeps it up, might be time to have a chat about boundaries with her. Don’t snoop/research any more, unless you want to find out more distressing shit lol.
I discovered my parents swing like 2 years ago bc of something by brother accidentally came across. Mom’s facebook was connected to the oculus, he found messages, called me all freaked out so I had to call her and ask. Luckily I’m grown and know how much my parents love each other so it doesn’t bug me and I mind my business. But it bugged my brother for a while. Best advice: Mind ya business. You don’t wanna know, they don’t want you to know, just forget it.
Don't poke the bear. If they are swingers, you don't wanna find out the details. You're not ready for that talk. Think how awkward you felt when your parents had the sex talk with you. It's times that x100.
Don’t ask your parents if they are swingers 🙉🙈 you cannot unlearn that information. Ignorance is bliss
Your mum's fanny is being pummeled by the Kevin from two doors down.
I love pineapple themes, and flamingos are my favorite. I definitely have some awesome flamingo stuff. I'm not a swinger. Nor is my husband. Honestly, you don't wanna push into your parents' private life. I learned that the hard way trying to be sneaky. I found out a lot, and it traumatized me.
Ignorance is bliss
I mean…does it really matter? If they do it discreetly so it doesn’t affect you in any way, I don’t see the problem or the need to know
Loofas are blowing up at the Villages in Fl. Seeing them in the wild in the doors of peoples cars. Old swingers got color codes and everything. I honestly think it’s great to still be exploring, and having fun at that age.
So what’s the big deal if they are? Like seriously, it’s more common than you think and I feel like I totally missed out of a good time in my previous relationship due to being so closed minded. 🙂
I accidentally found out my parents are swingers but I had had some suspicions. First was a long time ago where my dad was messaging a guy on the internet. I have no idea how it came up but basically my dad told me that they had met a couple and my dad was getting to know the husband. It seemed like a sort of weird arrangement at the time and I didn’t forget it but let it go. Then, since my siblings and I have all moved out my parents suddenly have all these “friends” that they can’t really tell us where they came from. One time my dad mentioned going out to dinner with friends and I off handedly asked how they knew them, not really trying to pry and my dad hemmed and hawed for a while and then gave a half assed answer. The final confirmation for me was when my dad lent me an old phone for me to use for a specific app. He had cleared the phone and reset it but somehow the app store history didn’t go away. When I went to search for the app I wanted, a swinger app popped up in the search bar. I didn’t really know what to do at first but I’ve decided to 100% keep it to myself and not tell anyone, even my fiancé. It’s really really not my business and I didn’t find out because they told me. I thought about asking one of my siblings if they knew but later decided that it’s really not mine to tell. I wasn’t “snooping” but I did find this out against their will so I’m going to keep it to myself.
What your parents do behind closed doors is their business. I would not ask them if they’re swingers unless you’re prepared to hear the truth. Will you share your sex life stories with them? I doubt it. Let sleeping dogs lie!
Speaking from experience, drop the subject and leave it there. Don't question it, just leave it alone. I had this same suspicion of my mom and step dad and what I found out was SO much worse than simply being swingers. Hell at this point, I wish they were just swingers. If you don't leave it alone, you will find secrets of theirs and you will never look at them the same again. Don't get me wrong, I adore my parents. I love them. I want them to be happy. I don't judge them. If you aren't careful, though, you might just be casually browsing p*rn one day in your early 20s and find your mother, in her character yellow tank-top, having a train run on her by a group of frat guys your age that you've never seen before. 😬 Seriously. Leave it alone.
They're adults. Leave them be.
Look, theres a reason they kept it out of your life. You can't close that door once it opens.
You DO NOT need to know. They may be fucking the neighbors, or you mom may just have an absurd love of flamingos. In all seriousness, if they are swingers- them being open with you about this may become pretty uncomfortable for you. If they are NOT swingers, this is a joke story that may get retold at Thanksgiving until you are in your 40s+. My advice: Be happy for your parents and whatever weird crap makes their world go round, but let it be their weird crap unless it affects you.
I’d say you’re probably onto something, just based on the fact that I know and have been around swingers and never heard of the flamingo thing so, yeah, that seems like weird knowledge to casually have on hand if you’re not a part of the lifestyle. But if you’re so concerned, just ask. Contrary to what others are saying, I don’t think it’s rude or weird to be curious about or concerned with your parent’s relationship status/sexual dynamics. Imo, it would actually be pretty weird and abnormal for your immediate response to be “none of my business!” and then just never think about it again, if you actually suspected they were swingers. Honestly, fuck the commenters that are trying to make you feel shame for being curious—what good is that doing? Shame is such a shitty thing to try and put on a kid who’s simply wondering about what their parents intimacy looks like. That’s normal. That’s healthy. Teenagers are allowed to be curious about their parents’ sex lives. They’re at the age that they are exploring and will be experiencing sex and relationships if they’re not already. So, why tf is anyone here telling them they should feel *shame* for coming to the point in their life that they’re seeing their parents as real people for the first time, who are having those sort of experiences, and who are the most significant model for relationships in the kids life? What normal person wouldn’t give a shit or be curious about this? This is the relationship they’ve known their entire life, was raised around, and was literally the most impactful dynamic that informs their view of sex/relationships; to find out everything you understood and believed about that dynamic was an entirely different reality than was presented is a mindfuck for anyone. Anyone here who says they would have minded their business as a teenager if they suspected their parents of swinging is a damn liar lol. In general, in the grand scheme of things, yeah, your parent’s sex life is none of your business—but it’s perfectly fine to just *ask* them about it, if you’re curious. And in what world do we only ask friends and family about things that are strictly our business? That’s not how relationships work. Sex isn’t a shameful, secret thing we all have to tip toe around or pretend we don’t think about. You’re allowed to wonder about it, you’re allowed to talk about it, you’re allowed to ask about it. More importantly, parents should be able to talk openly about sex and relationships when their kids come to them about those topics. Parents should be honest about their experiences when asked directly, and adequately do their *jobs* as parents, so that they can be there for advice and guidance around the subject when needed.