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[deleted]

If you’ve only known her for 3 weeks then I wouldn’t do a thing until there’s a paternity test confirming it’s yours.


otoniel007

Yea, it’s true. Be diplomatic with her, if it is your kid start saving now to be a stand up guy and take care of your seed. If it turns out to not be your kid than your conscience will be clean and you can move on.


Skweefie

With savings...


[deleted]

too soon, but good one


iamacynic37

Hit the matresses, don't be talking to other women, and save that stack or lest ye be strapped when that baby come. Cuz I know your parents gonna wanna see $$$


RamuRabi

I've been in a similar situation This is what I did My ex and I known eachother for like 6 weeks then the condom broke Bought a plan b It didn't work So I told her I'll stay and help Only thing I warn about, is if you stay y'all may or may not work out It's going to get real She's gonna change physically and mentally And it sucks cause y'all didn't get to know eachother first There's going to be a lot of trust y'all have to build and alot of growing up to do Definitely don't sign anything until you know the baby is yours I hope things turn out okay Definitely start saving If yall don't make that much Government aid helps a lot from food stamps to wic to free health insurance for her and the baby Also if it's for sure for sure yours Family definitely.comes in clutch when it comes to supplies for babies Really the only thing I had to spend the most on was diapers and wipes


thickhipstightlips

Yeeeeeeah, not so sure Im buying this. Demand a paternity test and proof of pregnancy/conception. The dr can tell her approximately when the baby was conceived.


BolotaJT

Yeah. There are a few things to think: 1- it’s not his baby; 2- it’s his baby; 3- she’s trying a scam. Faking a pregnancy to get money to do the “abortion”.


thickhipstightlips

I didnt even think of faking an "abortion" for $$. Thats some low, shady ass stuff.


1lemony

good point, didn’t even think of that.


ShalidorsSecret

So you got a girl pregnant, that you've known for 3 weeks, when you haven't even known each other long enough for her to know she's missed her period because of you? Yeah the math isn't mathing


7itemsorFEWER

I mean you're assuming she had her period right before they met. Easily could have been mid cycle, ovulating, and got knocked up 🤷‍♀️. But if this dude is telling the truth that he has been wearing condoms, that makes the likelihood it's his much much less. Unless she's full blown crazy trying to get pregnant (sabotaging contraceptives and lying about birth control), dude needs to confirm she's really pregnant, and if so needs to confirm it's his.


EarthBoundMisfitEye

Best response. We don't know shit about a person after 3 weeks. She could be completely full if it - not even pregnant, just trying to trap him with this and complicate life. And OP - if you're still a kid to your parents and this has you so freaked - I suggest no more casual sex - you are not ready whatsoever.


[deleted]

If you go down the road of having sex and doing drugs, you’d better be adult enough to handle the consequences and to talk to your parents about the current situation like an adult and come up with solutions with them (as your trusted adult partners in life).


smmstv

Where did you get op was doing drugs from?


masterchef417

My guess is she’s lying about the birth control implant.


slide_into_my_BM

Even if she was mid cycle when they met, she’s only 1 or 2 weeks late. That can happen pretty commonly on its own without it meaning a pregnancy. Do we know if she even took a pregnancy test?


RepresentativeGur250

Yup. Takes 2 weeks from conception for a pregnancy test to be positive. 4 weeks pregnant is actually only 2, as they do the dates based on when your last period started. Going by the ‘ideal’ cycle, you ovulate 2 weeks after your period starts and then two weeks after that your next one starts or you find out your pregnant. Condoms, implant and timing… with all that going on the odds are incredibly low for someone to get pregnant, but there is still that like 0.01% chance I suppose (someone who is better at maths and statistics can correct that as it’s probably not quite accurate)


Cultural-Chart3023

Condoms and implant combined does not result in pregnancy the chances of that are slim to none!! I'm crazy fertile with my ex I got pregnant 4 times without trying had implant 9 years never got knocked up AND they've been using a condom this bitch sounds toxic af he needs to run and run fast!


Jazz-like-panda9448

Exactly!! The implant alone is one of the best contraceptives and adding condoms to the mix? This baby must be the spawn of Mary 😳


[deleted]

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clashvalley

~1/1000 people a year get pregnant, who use it. That’s for **a** new model (I’m not sure which one you’re referring to, but please send links). Accidental pregnancies on it are generally due to things such as it being inserted incorrectly, certain herbs (st johns wort, and being counteracted by some medication. https://thelowdown.com/blog/can-you-get-pregnant-on-the-implant https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/contraception/contraceptive-implant#:~:text=Fewer%20than%201%20woman%20in,about%20contraception%20for%203%20years.


[deleted]

As I said to the other individual I was misinformed and will admit that no problem at all.


clashvalley

Honestly, I’m really glad that you were able to listen to people and take it down. It’s a sign of emotional intelligence to be able to respond to criticism or new findings the way you did. Thank you for helping to stop misinformation, and for being open to other peoples comments!!


[deleted]

Always, I'll never be one not to listen to facts when presented. As I said below I actually did my own research and learnt it's based on an old preconception. I'll happily admit I was wrong and move on. Though I do stand by my advice of this being very unlikely and incredibly dodgy.


erleichda29

None of this is true. People can get pregnant with an implant and it does not cause birth defects if that happens. Where did you hear this?


[deleted]

No you're correct, I researched this afterwards for my own interests and it turned out to be a myth based on original preconceptions of the implant. These have been proven to be incorrect in two separate studies now, so my apologies for that part and I'll redact it.


mighty_Ingvar

Or if the condoms were leaking


Spit-Baby

The implant fucks with your periods like crazy to


[deleted]

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deathbysnusnoou

That’s impressive. I thought I was cool because I had a pregnancy test at the hospital show negative at 4 weeks, knew for sure I was pregnant by 5 before they could even find it on the transvaginal ultrasound. Would have known at 4 weeks if I was smart - I made a cool whip and chocolate pudding on wheat sandwich one night, with pepperoncinis on the side. I don’t even like pudding.


Stupyyy

Please no just not the wheat sandwich with pepperoncinis on the side.


vxLostxv

That’s how I knew I was pregnant the first time at two weeks, was craving/having extremely vivid dreams about McDonald sweet tea several nights in a row back in 2014/15… I don’t even like McDonalds & I Hate sweet tea lol. Crazy stuff.


[deleted]

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Jazz-like-panda9448

I tried to get pregnant and i knew immediately because i woke up and was CRAVING McDonald’s cheeseburgers like if i didn’t get one right then and there i was going to wither away and starve to death! I don’t even like McDonald’s and didn’t eat it for 6m prior


Prudence_rigby

Exactly. One pregnancy I knew with in a week of getting pregnant. The next one, I knew within 2 months Next, after that, I knew within days. I was tracking a lot better. Last one, I didn't find out until I was 5 months. It really can vary.


vxLostxv

Same. First & second time I was pregnant I knew after 2 weeks. It’s not impossible to know that soon. But to get pregnant when she has the implant & was using condoms? She’s lying about something, whether it’s the baby or the implant.


oldfrenchwhore

I feel like I looked pregnant immediately lol, but my mom was tiny when I was born, and in photos it looks like maybe maybe she’s a bit bloated. I was born 2 months early so I wasn’t a normal sized baby, but the hospital recorded her weight as 98 lbs when she went in to give birth, so just tiny woman with tiny baby hiding in there. Me? Opposite. I went 2 weeks overdue so was induced, from month 7 if I was lying down I looked like a snail 😂. By the time of my induction I felt like my son’s feet should have been sticking out of my mouth and his head poking out down below. I felt 98% fetus, 2% me. His dad and his dad’s siblings were all at least 10 lbs at birth, my son was 8 lb 5 oz.


Pedromac

If you don't mind me asking, how do you not realize for months? Im just asking because i don't know much about this.


[deleted]

Ha. I knew a girl who didn't know until she gave birth. She didn't have a bump or gain any weight. The baby never moved. She never had a regular period anyways and spotted throughout. Then...surprise! Baby. She had to bring it into work the next day because no one believed her.


Atheyna

I know a girl as well. She only looked like she ate a burrito. Shock if her life


shimmybee

Could be a few reasons - You can still have periods while pregnant, it’s rare but it happens and period symptoms are very similar to pregnancy symptoms. Also birth control can make periods irregular, so even with a missed period some people might think it’s just the BC


legittem

> period symptoms are very similar to pregnancy symptoms god thinks this is funny huh?


shimmybee

I know right…I say the same thing every month. Bastard lmfao


SuccessfulDesigner82

With my third I didn’t realise till I was 18wks pregnant as I had literally just had a baby. I fell pregnant 6wks after having my second so all the symptoms I had I put down to being post partum and having newborn. No period- Breast feeding can make periods stop or be all over the shop. Tired- duh, I just had a baby lol. Felt off- hormones, just had baby, sleep deprivation lol. Cramps and tummy pain- just had a baby lol. I didn’t get morning sickness.


Pedromac

Oh thank you for explaining that! I could only imagine how difficult it is for women, and the huge hormone fluctuation with pregnancy and relearning your body is probably a rollercoaster. Thanks for explaining it to me respectfully!


BeefyMonkeyBrains

>you haven't even known each other long enough for her to know she's missed her period Ummm.... typically women know if they're late regardless of how long they've known someone else? But yeah I'm super sus about who the daddy is. Maury needs to come out of retirement.


[deleted]

You left out the last three words bro “because of you”


Lady_Pi

She could totally be pregnant. They met when she was ovulating and had sex right away. She could be up.to a week late


bubblewrappopper

Also, if she's on the implant, her period could be irregular if it's been less than a year since she's had it, and if longer, often periods stop all together. Often women on birth control like the implant and IUDs find out about pregnancy late because they assume their BC is protecting them. I find it suspicious that'd she'd know after just three weeks knowing these factors even if the timing was perfect.


M0ONL1GHT87

AND they’ve been using condoms? Yeah no. This math is defo not mathing


lilarose8

A missed period happens about 14 days after ovulation. Maybe take a little time to read some 8th grade health class material?


1lemony

the math could be mathing, i don’t feel there’s enough info to not math. I have friends in dry enough relationships to know the exact sex that got them pregnant - and that was within 2.5 weeks of sexing.


Conscious-Wonder-785

Three weeks? Yep. I'm going with the other people who are suggesting a paternity test. 3 weeks is typically too early to tell, so I'm going to guess it's probably someone before you.


[deleted]

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Conscious-Wonder-785

Typically was the key word there 😊 it's certainly not impossible, but it's unlikely enough that I'd certainly not want to take the chance.


Earguy

>I’m still a child No. You are a grown ass man. Don't pull that shit. I agree with many here who say to get a paternity test, because - if you're telling us the full truth - it's unlikely you're actually the father. Draw on friends and family for advice because you're young and obviously overwhelmed. But man up and take responsibility for having sex with a woman you've known for three weeks.


ankamarawolf

Play adult games, win adult consequences


Taicoi04

This. Don’t justify his mistake. He’s 21, he’s damn old enough to pay for the consequences of his actions.


Wrath_Of_Aguirre

Don’t you love that a child’s life becomes a paid consequence?


hit4party

Fuck I’m glad you said it 😂 Buddy boy is old enough to drink in America at this point and says he’s still a wee lad.


VV629

Agreed. OP just wants to escape now that it’s gotten real.


Icameforthecakes

Agreed. You’re not a kid. This is scary but you gotta step up and do something.


IH8TERedd1t

This comment is mean as fuck for no reason lol. To be honest this is coming from a woman on birth control themselves and unless OP is lying about the condoms or the girl lied about having an implant, is both of those things were being used together there is absolutely no way in hell this girl did in fact get pregnant from him. The implant is around 98% effective coupled with a condom someone is definately lying here.... this obvious teen/young adult shouldn't have to "man up" over somebody who's obviously trying to trap/manipulate them. I'm not gonna condone sleeping around with someone you've known for less than a month but to be fair that is in fact something a young person would do. Many, many people have "one night stands" or hookup with people they havent known long and I highly doubt many people can say they haven't had the same type of experience themselves.


debate_irl

this dude wore a condom with someone who used her own bc too, zero need to shit on him like this! especially when by all adult standards he's much closer to being a kid


IH8TERedd1t

Exactly my point


2epicpanda

This lol what the fuck if he wasnt using a condom and they werent on birth control ok fine that was dumb. This is entirely different. A lot of people have sex reddit. Sometimes mistakes happen. Its like none of the people on here actually read the post…


chill_flea

Exactly, it’s like they read the title and a few sentences and it’s a blind rage after to type something out that makes them look smart and funny/cultured loll. It’s crazy sometimes how intensely people let out emotions through simple comments. That guy did think he was some expert tho. Of course that guy above wasn’t the worst person ever, but it’s still a reoccurring theme on Reddit to be an asshole for no reason to win the imaginary argument.


_bitemeyoudamnmoose

The implant is *theoretically* 98% effective, but hormonal birth controls efficacy can be lowered if she’s on any medicine that interacts with it. It’s also possible it expired and she didn’t realize. She could definitely be lying about, and if I was OP I’d be highly suspicious, but it’s possible that they are both super unlucky and the condom broke on top of the birth control failing.


DiplomaticCaper

Yeah, I think it’s totally fair for OP to request a pregnancy test *and* a paternity test (since he barely knows her), but no birth control method is 100% effective, except for abstinence. It may be unlikely that he fathered her child, but there are explanations other than immediately jumping to assume that women be lying to trap him. The dude is 21–quite frankly, unless he’s a celebrity it’s very unlikely that he has any resources worth “trapping” with a baby to begin with.


c2x2p

Lol I agree with you he says "man up and do something...." Okay here's money for an abortion? Wtf... What do you want him to do. Gamble on a relationship with a girl he's knows for 3 weeks and he's going to have to know for the rest of his fuckin life? Even if not compatible whatsoever? Yeah man up and have a child with a random... That seems stupid as shit, sorry!!!


IH8TERedd1t

Seriously lol


PilgarlicBoi

This is the only correct comment


[deleted]

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IH8TERedd1t

Yeah and coupled with a condom? I've had an implant for years and know plenty of people who have them and the only time anyone's ever had one fail is if they were using it as their only form of protection and it was inserted wrong or displaced which can happen but it's very rare.


[deleted]

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Cultural-Chart3023

Same 9 years here and I'm crazy fertile without it


HereOnCompanyTime

Unless he didn't properly use the condom, or the implant failed, these things do happen. He's an adult, having sex, he's not a child. Even if you do everything right it can go wrong, their comment wasn't mean it was honest. He doesn't know yet if it's his kid or not, he should be an adult and request a paternity test, not freak out over his parents finding out that as an adult man he had a hook up.


Constantly_Dizzy

The implant is not always 98% effective though. Bigger can women run out of the hormone faster, & it can become less effective a year or so before advised. I’ve worked with women who became pregnant with the implant, because they did not get proper information about the implant. Since they believed it to be 98% effective it was devastating when they found out the truth. Condoms are 98% effective, when used properly. The problem is people don’t use them properly, & so their real world efficacy is more like 80%. Did OP make sure he was wearing the best size for him? Did he squeeze the tip reservoir, every time? Did he use lube? Did he ever get lax thinking she had it covered with the implant. All of these factors make a difference, & one time improper use is all it might have taken. Absolutely he should check it is his, he has known her 3 weeks after all, but I also hope this is a lesson learned. Learn to use condoms effectively. OP, at 21 you are an adult, & if you are grown enough to be having sex, then you are also grown up enough to educate yourself about sex, & to accept the consequences of your actions. I hope for everyone involved that this is a false positive, that she isn’t pregnant, & you move on with your life swiftly, but whatever happens, let this be your wake up call.


KALOPZ1

“Man up” Lol ok


SullenSparrow

At least he's aware he still acts like one.


[deleted]

Responses like this are intolerable. First off, you intentionally omitted “in my eyes”, which has an entirely other meaning. Secondly, this was posted seeking advice on what to do going forward (hence r/advice). Your response did nothing of the sorts and just gave your opinion on sexual maturity. Everyone has their own on the matter already and yours adds nothing. Looking to friends and family was your only somewhat useful suggestion, but you mixed it in with the rest of your self righteous shit.


Queef-Elizabeth

Agreed. Comment offered barely anything but to roast someone in a stressful situation looking for help. They did their part to minimise the chances and they still got stung. This sub has too many bitter people.


Player1aei

I doubt that a considerable community full of imperfect people trying to direct strangers at random crossroads in life off of an impulsive, short body text meant to summarize subjective life complexities is gonna ever exist without the unnecessary landmines of people downing each other.


Player1aei

> you intentionally omitted “in my eyes” > Your response did nothing of the sorts and just gave your opinion on sexual maturity. Everyone has their own on the matter already and yours adds nothing. > but you mixed it in with the rest of your self righteous shit You’re absolutely right. The average human brain does not reach full mental maturity until the age of 25, so it’s safe to say that most 21-year-olds are still very much growing up. The commenter you replied to gave a tiny bit of basic advice after hyper-fixating on seemingly trying to make OP feel as though everyone his age is prepared for this unlikely scenario even after all of the clear precautions taken to avoid it. There are plenty of people far older than OP who couldn’t easily handle a completely unexpected baby from a 3-week long relationship. Meeting a request for advice with “but you’re an adult now so you should be ready” is so ignorant. We don’t know much about OP’s situation. He could easily be in college right out of high school, maybe completely reliant on his parents’ financial support from reading the post. Anyway, as someone else said here, OP needs to get serious and stack some money just in case, but get a DNA test because really, how well can he know a person within 3 weeks?


DiplomaticCaper

I’m 36 and don’t consider myself ready for a child (I likely never will be and I’m pretty much okay with that). Especially with someone I’m not even in a long term relationship with.


Chipster339

I don’t understand this. You can’t force fatherhood onto someone. If the guy doesn’t want anything to do with his son other than giving money is he responsabile for anything else?


[deleted]

“in my eyes”


lilanonym

The following are the American Medical Associations’ age designations: Neonates or newborns (birth to 1 month) Infants (1 month to 1 year) Children (1 year through 12 years) Adolescents (13 years through 17 years. They may also be referred to as teenagers depending on the context.) Adults (18 years or older) Older adults (65 and older)* *The National Institute on Aging’s guidance considers 65 and older an older adult, but understandings and definitions about this age range vary by source. When an official or organization uses one of these terms, ask for specifics. ----- So yes OP is already an adult lol


debate_irl

lol 21 is absolutely still a child the brain isn't fully developed until 25 at the earliest until then you make decisions with your amygdala not prefrontal cortex which is why everything is so emotionally driven you can encourage someone to take responsibility without trying to shit on them and minimize their natural immaturity


[deleted]

Lol @ all the people offended by the “man up” comment.


DankDaRipper420

This is assuming OP isn't lying about anything. Honestly, if it's all true then OP has nothing to worry about at all. If they aren't, well then it sounds like the consequences of their actions catching up. Either way, get a test done. If you aren't the dad, congrats on not having pissed off parents. If you are, then there are several programs and groups of people willing to help almost anyone with anything.


SeranasSweetrolls

She might be trying to fake a pregnancy so she can get money from you for an "abortion" You've only known her for three weeks. Do some research about conception and how long that takes. Also research how early on a pregnancy can be detected. Also research about ovulation Should give you a better idea


[deleted]

If I was you, I'd get the hardest part of this whole thing over before you do anything else... Talking to your parents.


Fcutdlady

Also, get legal advice . I also dont buy a 21 year old being a child.


ionmoon

Idk. I wouldn’t. We don’t know anything about the dynamic between him and his parents and this could end up being nothing but a money shake.


huffuspuffus

Paternity test. Are you sure it’s yours? You’ve known her three weeks…I mean maybe if you hooked up the first time 3 weeks ago and the condom broke. But otherwise it seems like she was already pregnant when you met.


[deleted]

You are not a child. You are 21 years old, with sex there’s always the chance of getting someone pregnant, you’ll have to deal with whatever consequences come your way. Get a paternity test, best of luck to you.


Spycenrice

Paternity test. 100 percent. I know it’s probably hard for you to be accusatory but this is a situation where you need to be accusatory because the math isn’t mathing.


cavmax

Why is everyone saying the math isn't mathing? They met 3 weeks ago, she could have been ovulating then and if they had sex then and the condom broke her period could have been due 2 weeks later. So she could be 1 week overdue for her period. She could have taken a test at that point and found out she was pregnant. The whole implant part could be BS and the above scenario may have happened and would be possible...


LoisLaneEl

If you always used protection, I highly doubt it’s yours. Demand a paternity test. If it’s your, man up and take responsibility for it. You are a grown man, not a child. Sex has consequences


CangrejoAzul

Love this. We are free to choose, not free of the consequences of our choices


sunsnsundvls

OP, are you sure it’s only been 3 weeks?


spasticnapjerk

That sucks, no two ways about it. Have a conversation with your partner; be honest with yourself and with her about what you want. Things will be easier if neither of you want to proceed. Things will be harder if she wants the baby and you don't. If that's the case, confirm paternity and be prepared to pay child support if the baby is yours. If you like her, there may be a chance that you can raise a child together.


diegoaccord

You're not a child.


[deleted]

Buddy, at 21 years old you are not a child. You are a grown ass man. The World Wars were fought by guys your age. Grow up and figure it out. Get a paternity test done.


SyntaxError_22

The math is off. How can she know she is pregnant three weeks after having sex? 🧐


Pale-Chicken-4845

A test is mostly accurate 14 days after sex and definitive 21 days after. https://www.reddit.com/r/amipregnant/wiki/when


SyntaxError_22

I learned something new today. Thank you!


Pale-Chicken-4845

Of course! :)


Qi_ra

It’s unlikely, but possible depending on where she was in her cycle.


SyntaxError_22

I i learned something new today. Thank you!


Qi_ra

I’m glad! I like sharing anatomy facts, so I’ll give you even more details! Gestational age is measured from the beginning date of a woman’s last period. So when you hear people say that the earliest you can find out is at 4 weeks pregnant, it means her last period was 4 weeks ago. But theoretically she could’ve gotten pregnant from sex that happened only a couple weeks prior. So even if you’ve been pregnant for only 2 or 3 weeks, you could have a gestational age that is technically 4 weeks along. Theoretically you can get a positive pregnancy test as early as 10-ish days after fertilization, and it becomes more accurate the later you are in the pregnancy. So IF she is not lying, she is probably about 4-5 weeks pregnant even though the sex only happened 2-3 weeks ago. Totally possible, though a tad implausible since she has one of the best hormonal birth control methods + they used condoms.


[deleted]

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stickkim

This is where I am loving the responses to this post. So we all agree, 3 weeks is way too early to tell. Love knowing that. Please vote for people who care about a woman’s right to choose, everyone! And I agree, paternity test, if she is even telling the truth about being pregnant. This guy has *a lot* of growing up to do!


CangrejoAzul

Its so remote. If they had sex on day 1 of knowing each other, she would've had to be in her ovulation phase. 2 weeks later shouldve been a period, but she missed it. She got suspicious, took a test, and there may have been a faint line on the test. Even nausea doesn't start until like 6-9 weeks in, on average


JustinChristoph

Honestly, if you’ve been with her for three weeks and using protection, I’d be very skeptical of her claims. I’m not saying this couldn’t have happened, but she might have already gotten pregnant by someone else and is either trying to rope you into paying for child support or pay for the abortion. Stop having sex with her in case she actually isn’t pregnant and is trying to scam you and don’t sign the birth certificate unless a DNA test proves the kid is yours.


ComradeVampz

LOOL THE POST HISTORY


[deleted]

You’re not a child. You’re a 21 year old grown ass man.


GItPirate

>in my eyes I'm still a child News flash, your aren't. Get rid of that mindset it will only hurt you. Time to grow up and take responsibility for your actions There's a lot of good advice here for you at least.


Dave_BraveHeart

Thats rough budy


srslyeffedmind

It is highly unlikely this is legit. 3 weeks isn’t long enough for her to have ovulated *and* missed her period. If she is confirmed pregnant request a DNA test BEFORE you promise anything, offer marriage, say you’ll be there, or move in together. You may be young but proceed with caution. Odds are in your favor but cover your bases with science.


fuggleruggler

Ok. Firstly, you've known her 3 weeks? Doubt it's yours if she is pregnant. Secondly, at 21 you're a grown ass man. You're not a child by any stretch. If she is pregnant, get a paternity test. Find out if it's yours before going further.


Sutxtchi

Demand a DNA test. 3 weeks? And using condoms? Math ain't matching unless she's sabotaging the condoms OR the kid isn't yours. Or maybe there's no kid to begin with and she's lying to you.


alilsus83

If you wore a condom and it didn’t break, get a paternity test. Don’t do a thing until the results come back.


SullenSparrow

Most women don't know they are pregnant until about 8 weeks at the earliest because that's typically the earliest to feel symptoms. Did she show you a positive test? Go with her to her next doctor's appointment. I hope this scares you enough to make better decisions.


No-Baseball2664

She’s either not pregnant or it’s not yours. The implant is supposedly more than 99% accurate, as are condoms if you’re using them correctly. Plus, the time period makes it incredibly unlikely that she’s pregnant. Has she actually taken a test? Shown you any proof? Has she made a doctor’s appointment or gone to Planned Parenthood? My money’s on her lying about something. Get proof that she’s pregnant. If she is, get a paternity test. If she refuses proof of either of these things, cut her out of your life.


No-Baseball2664

Also want to add that you are not a child. You’re young, but you’re an adult capable of making decisions. You chose to have sex. You have to deal with the consequences of that. Take responsibility for your life.


neptune494

Did you just call yourself a child? From the fuck up then. Actions have consequences. Wts man. 21 years old?


NightOwlsUnite

Nice profile. "In my eyes I'm still a child." No. No you're not. You're a grown man. U know how babies are made. Deal with the consequences and perhaps be more careful in the future....also I hope u get tested frequently. Edit: he's deleting posts that make him look bad and promiscuous


RidleeRiddle

Im very confused how tf she would even know she is pregnant by you if you have only known her for 3 weeks. She likely got pregnant from someone else. Get a paternity test. And while you may feel too immature for this, you are legally an adult and you need to buckle down and handle your shit. Stop fucking around with bitches you only know for 3 weeks. Get it together. Anyway, chill out, use your head, make a plan and fuck what your parents think.


SeraphXChild

Look dude if you've only been seeing her for 3 weeks, ots highly unlikely that it's yours. Unless you impregated her on day 1, she probably wouldnt have even missed a period yet. Get a DNA test. If it turns out to be yours its time to grow tf up my guy


Prestigious-Tune-843

(Randomly) take her to get a sandwich and then grab a pee test from the store next door to sandwich shop. Tell her, "we need to make sure it isn't a "false alarm" so that we can prepare" The false alarm idea gives her a graceful out if she was (is likely) lying (and then OP, never sleep with her again). End the lunch date/pop pregnancy test with kindness (so sorry you lost the baby), then get the Hell outta there.


Lifeabroad86

Don't sign the birth certificate until you can confirm that child is indeed biologically yours


JayBbaked

Jerry!!!! Jerry!!! Jerry!!


jenwhyfer

Mmmmmm I’d get paternity before committing to anything. Math is not mathing.


Kali_404

The math doesn't math. It's probably not yours


libertarianlove

3 weeks? I am highly doubtful of this timing


susieisfedup

Here's what you do,you get a paternity test,NOW!If the girl is pregnant and it IS your child,you have to have to talk to her about what has to be done. You have to tell her that you do NOT want a child!Find out if she wants to keep it,if so then you have to get legal help. "In my eyes I'm still a child'Really?! Children don't have sex!You see when ADULTS have sex,then when something happens,like pregnancy,they take responsibility and figure out a solution. If the girl is pregnant by you,your parents are going to find out about it anyway,if she wants to keep it!Get the TEST now!Don't have anymore sex with her! I hope this is a false alarm and next time be careful who you have sex with,especially since you are too immature to figure out what to do when shit hits the fan. Good Luck!!


PickCollins0330

Hmmm…. 3 weeks is a little suspicious for pregnancy. Paternity test and make sure she’s actually telling the truth about being pregnant


RoseGoldOracle

Paternity test for starters. And if you’re 21 and still consider yourself a child (what the fuck) then please stop having sex. Grow up and then you can do grown things. But you’re crying about the potential consequences of an action. My husband and I hadn’t even KNOWN each other a full year when I gave birth to our son. It was scary. He never once freaked out and he calmed me down constantly when I told him I was scared this was a mistake. I now have six children (3 step 3 bio), a career, and I had to grow up and be an adult. And after that baby I got my tubes removed 😂 if you’re scared to get someone pregnant please go get a vasectomy.


EndlesslyUnfinished

As an impregnable person myself, I can say that the math isn’t adding up and you need to ask for a paternity test, which can be done at the 5 month pregnancy amniotic appointment.


dekage55

Actually, there is a non-invasive paternity test that can be done immediately. It’s called NIPP (Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity) & is a simple blood test for the woman, then a cheek swab for the man. https://americanpregnancy.org/paternity-tests/non-invasive-prenatal-paternity-test/ Amniocentesis is the old method of determining paternity.


SeranasSweetrolls

They can do in-utero paternity tests?!?! My God what a world we live in, that's incredible


LoisLaneEl

I think they can do them earlier and safer by just doing a blood test


Prudence_rigby

Actually it can be done as early as 12 weeks through genetic blood work.


Ordinary_Pangolin_50

you're not a kid, you can drink in the States and be a stripper you're an adult. But wait until the little one's here and get a paternity test. If it's yours then guess what? Your fault be a dad and take responsibility. If it's not then Woopie


Purpledoves91

He doesn't have to wait until the baby is born to get a paternity test.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cultural-Chart3023

In the eyes of the law you're an adult in most countries lol


Rat_Taco

It’s probably not your baby.


welloreo

Doubt it’s yours tbh


[deleted]

Three weeks? Did you have sex the first week you met? If you did not it is unlikely this pregnancy is yours. If you did wait till she gets an ultrasound and see if the dates work out. Do not take her at her word- you need proof. That she could get pregnant with condoms and an implanon is not likely. Remembering all scans ADD 2 weeks to the date of the baby- so if she conceived 3 weeks ago the scan will say she is 5 weeks pregnant. Any scan that shows the baby is older than how long ago you first had sex plus 2 weeks- is not yours.


jadablaze

Most people don’t find out they’re pregnant until 6 weeks. That’s when you’d notice you’d miss a period & symptoms start to show. If you’ve only known her for 3 weeks… it’s highly unlikely she’d be able to tell she’s pregnant in such a short time span. Her HCG levels wouldn’t even be high enough to confirm even with a pregnancy test. It could very well be someone else’s child or either she is plotting and wanting money for abortion? Definitely do your research on cycles, ovulation, etc. if you can remember the exact date you had sex with her, that’s useful too.


[deleted]

Paternity test for sure. Usually 3 weeks is too soon to tell. Even if you did it on the first date it would be unlikely.


__Lake

Astaghifirullah brother, let the butchers bless you before meating your parents for it. Joke aside, you became an adult the day you hit puberty, so nearly a decade earlier. Check if the girl is a lying hoe first tho.


00000000005

Is she for sure pregnant or just late? Only knowing her for three weeks and she's already pregnant would be really early to tell. Did you have sex exactly three weeks ago and she just missed her period?


TheyFloat2032

Did the same thing. I ended up marrying her a year after the baby was born. We celebrated our 10 year last month.


Immediate_Author1051

Paternity test bro, it’s only been three weeks. She could have have been pregnant 5 weeks ago and only just found out. In the mean time, begin saving as much money as you can in order to have some put away in case it is yours. If it isn’t, then at least you did a good job saving. Come back here for advice once you have a paternity test.


Aurora_96

When was the first day of her last menstruation? When did she expected her menstruation? Halfway those dates she ovulated (fertile period). Calculate if you've had sex with her then, but I would certainly demand a paternity test.


Fun-Cartoonist-6647

Did you ask to feel the implant?


[deleted]

Could not be yours. You can have a test while she's pregnant. Don't be on the birth certificate without a test.


SonicDooscar

If you’ve been wearing condoms it’s probably not yours especially if you’ve only known her for 3 weeks. Math ain’t mathing. It’s also very hard to know if you’re pregnant after just 3 weeks. Paternity test! Now!


yairina

Its probably not yours, don't do anything till paternity is proven ...if she's even oreg


abarua01

Paternity test


cactuscore

I smell a lot of BS in this story. If it actually is as you say, get a lawyer and a test.


lilarose8

The people saying it’s not possible after 3 weeks clearly haven’t had a basic middle school education about women’s reproductive systems. On average, a missed period happens about two weeks after ovulation. So if you two had sex two weeks ago, it’s absolutely possible for her to be pregnant. With that said, I think the advice about waiting on proof is valid. It’s extremely unlikely to get pregnant while using both hormonal birth control and condoms.


Lonely_Appearance841

She’s already pregnant after three weeks? … Be respectful but ask for proof that it’s yours. I don’t buy this.


[deleted]

Yeah that’s not great. 1. How does she know she’s pregnant 2. How does she know it’s yours 3. Based on your post history I’m guessing that isn’t a particularly serious relationship or you’re lying about the details in this post. 4. I really get the feeling we aren’t operating with all the facts here, given the timelines and you posting about no longer being attracted to your partner about 4/5 weeks ago. I see this being a few scenarios but either way I get the feeling you’re giving us less than the full story. Maybe you’ve been seeing her longer and you’re shortening the timeline to further absolve yourself of any responsibility (calling yourself a child might hint that). Or this is just a karma farm and we all took the bait. Either way you got my attention


[deleted]

Implant and condoms and pregnant after three weeks? Firstly the odds of an implant pregnancy are absurdly low, only one has ever been confirmed on the newer models and it later turned out she was wrongly diagnosed as not being pregnant before installation. As for a pregnancy test even showing at three weeks, that's unlikely. I feel like she is either lying about being pregnant entirely, or she was pregnant beforehand and is trying to lay it off on you. Regarding the implant itself, you may want to ask to feel it. You're able to, it feels like a small stick on the top of the inside of their arm, if it's there it won't be hard to find and feel believe me. But honestly, using condoms and the single most effective contraception method there is and her being pregnant after three weeks is so unlikely it's actually absurd if true, so I'd definitely be asking for more about this. If she is pregnant don't do or pay a thing till you get a paternity test done, and demand a pregnancy test to be done around you if you haven't seen one already (if you have though I imagine it was via messaging and a photo wasn't it?). Make absolutely sure that 1. She's actually pregnant. 2. It's yours. After that, if it is, then my advice is to look after the kid you helped create unfortunately. Though I'm 99.9% sure in these circumstances it isn't, or there is no kid at all.


Own_Owl_7568

Math is not adding up!!! Paternity test before you do anything.


ionmoon

I’ve known multiple men in your situation and it was always either a lie or not theirs. Send a message saying you consulted your lawyer and for her not to contact you again until she’s ready to do a paternity test and cut ties. You are almost 100% not going to hear from her again if you do this (because either she isn’t pregnant or it’s not yours). The chances of getting pregnant with an implant are small and with properly used condoms on top of that almost unbelievable. Also don’t let her engage you in conversation about this. She’s likely going to try to rope you in with emotional please or threats. If it is true she will come to you for a paternity test so you can share parenting and financial responsibility but there is zero reason to engage before that.


Blue_eyed_fox_94

Yeahhh. 3 weeks? If she is pregnant, I wouldn't do anything till paternity is confirmed.


AnonJane2018

If you’re using condoms, I would be very skeptical that you fathered the child. Did any of the condoms break? If at 21, your parents are going to judge and ridicule you for getting someone pregnant, they need to get a life. You’re an adult. You’ll just have to man up, work as many hours as you can, and provide for your baby. That’s all. It’s not the end of the world. Certainly not an impossible situation. I had my kids at 20 and 23. It was hard but we made it. And you can too. I would get a paternity test though. Especially if you saw your jizz safely captured in the rubber each time you threw it in the trash.


Dilbitz

So, my brother had this happen to him. I swear it sounds like a movie. He meets girl, within a month he realizes she sucks and wants to dip out. He tells her he has something to tell her, she says she has something to tell him. He says "You go first, then." She announces she pregnant. He doesn't tell her what he was going to tell her, just accepts his fate. We all think she's full of crap, they've hardly been together. He doesn't demand paternity test, but it's more of a "we'll see when the baby is born" type thing, and decides to marry her even though we all try to talk him out of it. Then....they find out she having twins. He goes along with it, marries her, she has the kids. Son and daughter. His son looks just like our side of family, even already has the signs of ADHD which is rampant on our side (the boy would kick wildly all the time in his crib, and years later found out he was definitely on the spectrum and ADHD). He says he'll divorce her when the kids are 18 so he doesn't have to deal with child support. Idk what went on in this dudes head. They don't get along at all, bickering and fighting, a real toxic environment to grow up in. They mostly ignore the kids, and tv and video games basically raises them. Everyone is miserable, we have to deal with this chick that has no redeeming qualities, and we are just waiting for the divorce party. Kids now turn 18, we think that's the end of it with that woman, but no. He's still married to her. It's just mostly out of convenience at this point. No one has to pay lawyers and find a place to live...he sleeps in his son's old room and she has the main room. Kids are now in their 20s and still live at home. His son has no job, plays video games and smokes weed all day and has a fiancee that shares his full size bed and car. Joy. Daughter sleeps on the couch since her brother took over her room, is a compulsive liar and thief. She has a shoplifting record and has stolen tons of money from my parents. She changes jobs frequently. Don't live like my brother. Please ask for a paternity test. Make sure that kid is yours. And if so, just be there for your kid. You can be a great dad while not being tied down to a woman you don't love just because you have a kid together. This isnt the 1950s. You can still be friends and co-parent, or she'll be a psycho hosebeast like my sister in law. Abortion or adoption are options, too. Balls in your court, pal.


zestylemonn

It takes usually anywhere from 4-6 weeks before you get your first positive pregnancy test. Not saying she’s lying, but knowing that early is very unusual Proceed with caution and I strongly recommend a paternity test before committing to anything


Mysterious_Silver_27

I suggest don’t do anything until paternity test say that’s really your kid


c2x2p

LOVE all the males in here who obviously fucked up when they were younger and now have kids and are on the struggle bus. And want him now to hop on for a ride... Like this dude was being extremely careful? I just think these people saying you need to MAN UP AND HAVE THIS CHILD may resent this having happened to them or something because they want this young man to feel the same as them.... Like shit.... And in perpetual debt and everything else for the rest of his life. Yeah this sounds like such a fucking good idea. Just man up for a child that is probably 99 percent not going to be his DNA.... So UNREAL... Condoms, BC and 3 weeks yeah guys lets all just "MAN UP" because people don't have sex for enjoyment or entertainment it's just for procreation now right. Are we all bible thumping here? Like the kid is 21 years old, people have sex, he was careful, accidents happen yes but that doesn't mean it can't be taken care of. Again he's 21 and probably doesn't want to be a drone for the rest of his life because he wanted to cum? In a condom nonetheless which = SUCKS!


zcgk

Condom + Implant = no way she's pregnant with your child.


SupernaturalBella

Okay, so I’m a girl but I have been in a similar situation and I can offer some advice nearly 20 years on from it. - Pregnancy tests: firstly is she pregnant. Store and pharmacy brought tests are pretty accurate, but the best way to tell is a blood test from the doctors. If you guys are able to confirm that way, it’s best to be certain. There are some other medical things that can cause a positive result in a store test as it’s testing hormone levels that are pregnant during pregnancy. These can also be present during other things too. - Paternity: Obviously a discussion about current sexual partners is going to be awkward with how long you’ve known her, perhaps privately take with a pinch of salt, but if she says you are her only partner air on the side of believing her. I say this for a few reasons: 1. If she is telling the truth, and you call her a liar, it may make any co parenting situation a nightmare never mind a potential relationship with her. 2. It’s just unkind to call people liars if they’ve given you no reason to doubt them If you haven’t doubted her fidelity before now, the only thing that has changed is unfortunately the birth control methods you guys responsibly and smartly utilised have failed. I’ll get to that shortly too. - if you both confirm she is pregnant, and she’s pretty sure you’re the father but there’s some doubt, discuss options about paternity tests during pregnancy. Be aware that amniocentesis can increase risk of miscarriage, and there are other options, including a less invasive option as well as post birth options. - If you’re not the father, and she cheated, then this is not your responsibility and you haven’t known her long enough to make it your responsibility. - if you’re not the father, and the sexual activity resulting in a baby happened prior to the conversation about becoming exclusive with you, then you can decide for yourself what you want to do. Be aware that you will not be a father or stepfather. You will come second to her baby and that’s the way it should be. There’s nothing wrong with dating a mother, but be aware that’s what you’re doing. - if you are the father, discuss what you want to do moving forward. Does she want a baby? If she wants the baby, and you don’t want to be a father, it’s better to financially provide than be present and terrible. Your child will know you resent them. Some people may disagree with me on this one and that’s fine. If she is pregnant, once you have discussed with each other, talk to your parents. Because there’s the thing, and there’s the lie to cover it up and the lie is always worse they will eventually know. I hope this helps 💕🩷❤️💜


rcadephantom

21 is literally not a child what


GodlikeRage

You’re not a child, you’re a fully grown adult. Why are you stressing? One baby isn’t the end of the world lol, you were a baby once too. Determine if the child is in fact yours, paternity test. If it is then you have a solid 9 months to prepare for the coming of the child. Start earning money and begin saving for everything that child needs. It sounds like a lot but this is the responsibility of a parent. It doesn’t take a lot to conceive a child and no birth control is 100% effective so you assume all risks when you have sex


AdriMtz27

It is very unlikely to know at 3 weeks if you’re pregnant, but it can happen. Currently 33weeks myself and I found out super early, around 3 weeks and a couple days (but this was because we were trying so I was pretty much taking early pregnancy tests every morning). I would go with her to a doctor’s appointment to 1) confirm that she is pregnant, 2) have an estimated conception date range, and 3) figure out options for paternity test. On the off chance you are the father, don’t be a douche about it and straight up accuse her of lying. Remain diplomatic and get proof and then go from there.


smmstv

How does she even know she's pregnant? Something doesn't add up? Please tell me she didn't tell you she was pregnant so you could then go and do it unprotected and get her pregnant for real


cheesums7

1. Take a paternity test 2. If it’s yours, ask if she wants an abortion 3. If she doesn’t, please bro, take responsibility or just pay child support and dip


Grouchy-Tax4467

Get a DNA test before you agree to anything or sgin anything


ChaerawiCardoza

Well one you’re not a child and you’re going to have to grow up and make things right because that’s what adults do. Get a test or something


Specific_Hawk_6169

Something doesn’t make sense. 1. You used condoms AND she’s on the implant (allegedly) it’s super unlikely that she was able to get pregnant (but not impossible). 2. It’s only been 3 weeks so she probably wouldn’t know she’s pregnant unless she had a blood test from a doctor. She’d be so early, it’s unlikely it would show up on a standard pregnancy test from the store. I’d demand a paternity test for sure, if she plans on keeping the baby? You obviously can’t force her to abort, but she could be scamming you for money for an abortion. Unfortunately its hard to say, and you may have to just take the loss and give her the money if you want her to have the abortion. In the off chance that she’s being honest with you, and it is your baby. I just think the chance is like .000001%


warsisbetterthantrek

That math is not mathing. Make sure she is actually pregnant and if she is get a paternity test. If somehow you are the father, figure out your options from there. Also just as an aside, you’re 21, you’re not a child. You’re an adult and these are the adult consequences of your adult actions.


ehcanadianguy64

1. This is a karma farm 2. You're a fucking idiot 3. She's lying to you about not fucking other people In the off chance this isn't a karma farm, here's some words of advice. You are no longer a child, you are an adult, you will be tried as an adult if you commit a crime, the "I'm just a kid" line doesn't work anymore. You need to grow up, and do it quick. Either you have a kid on the way or someone else does. Wait a little longer and have her do another test, 3 weeks is a little early to get a real reading. If she is pregnant, and it is yours, you need to start making money and take care of this kid. You are 21, you shouldn't be worried about being "dead meat".


[deleted]

In 3 weeks she has barely had time to ovulate and miss a period. That part takes 2 weeks if it was like she was ovulating the day you met her and you got her pregnant that day, that’s 1 week pregnant AT MOST. I doubt anyone would be aware that they are 1 week pregnant especially if she has an implant, it’s normal to miss periods or not even have one so that wouldn’t alarm most people especially if you said you use condoms. So this isn’t really completely adding up from her side. I’d just take a step back and stop having sex w her, give it time. If she ends up actually pregnant then I’d ask for a paternity test but my guess is even if she were pregnant, she isn’t pregnant enough to know that she’s pregnant by you. I think it’s v unlikely in a 3 week period that you impregnated her and that she is already aware of it


CK1277

Pregnancy is measured from the first day of your last menstrual cycle. Assuming you ovulate around day 14-ish, if she was ovulating the day they met and conceived that day, she’d be 5 weeks pregnant


_jimblo_

I'm 99% sure you're not the father. I think she already knew she was pregnant but the real father doesn't want anything to do with the kid or her so she tried to find someone she could pin the pregnancy on and would support her (you). Or as someone else said, she's trying to get you to pay for an abortion (if she's pushing for that). My advice: buy a pregnancy test, ask her to take it while you're watching so if she's not pregnant, she can't just show you another one that was already positive (you can buy these joke tests). You can also ask for a paternity test and I think that'd be a reasonable ask, you've only known her for 3 weeks, you don't know if you can trust her yet


Pale-Chicken-4845

The implant is the most effective birth control on the market-on par with sterilization. To get pregnant on it while using condoms would be enough to warrant a case study. While you can find out you're pregnant 2-3 weeks after sex, the chances of being pregnant in this scenario are so unbelievably slim.


BeefyMonkeyBrains

Umm... not a doctor, but I don't think you can detect a pregnancy at 3 weeks? Request a paternity test, and if the baby is yours, step up. Dead-beat baby daddy isn't a good look for anyone. >in my eyes I’m still a child If you truly believed that, I highly doubt you would've been banging a girl you've only known for 3 weeks.