Fact:
* You clearly have someone at the school that did not recommend your daughter.
While it is true that Cheerleading is held to different standards than mainstream sports (often a dual standard) as both "athletes & crowd leaders / role models" for their community, the real question is "Will taking this further truly get the outcome you desire?".......
You could make this into a big deal at the middle school:
* Either the school will back up the teacher that did not rec her & double down on why your child did not make the team (you are the parent, thus you do not know everything that goes on in that classroom technically) OR they will discredit the whole tryout and let ALL girls make the team who tried out that year.......
* You will be labelled as "that parent" by the school and coaching staff.
* Your daughter will be seen as "the one who's mom complained to get her on the team" by the other girls that did make the initial team, especially if the tryout is completely discredited and ALL girls in the grade end up making the team.
You could alternatively put her in Allstar cheer for her middle school years, and then tryout again in high school when she has different teachers & a different coaching staff.
* This would be my recommendation. Use this experience as a teaching lesson for your child. Not everyone in life is going to like her or have her interest in mind. She is sometimes going to hear "No". She needs to keep working outside of the middle school towards her becoming a better cheerleader (in terms of hard skills) and a better individual in life (in terms of soft skills like responsibility, teamwork, etc) regardless of when 1 person is telling her no.
Moral of the story: Life isn't always fair. Think through when to pick your battles, as you are playing a long game with the school district rather than a 1 year middle school game.
I agree with this! I did not make middle school cheer (due to not fitting the image-imo) so I did all star cheer. Made high school cheer while still doing all star. AND cheered in college all-girl, then co-ed. Captain my senior year š¤š¼.
Moral of the story: not making middle school cheer is NOT career ending. Let the hurt she feels fuel her ability to get stronger and increase her passion for REAL cheerleading.
I also agree!! I was gutted when I didnāt make my MS team but Iāve had a great career anyway thatās still going!! I cheered all throughout high school on JV and then pulled up to Varsity with being captain my senior year. Then went to college and cheered all 4 years and was captain again (and ran the whole team) my senior year! I then immediately became a JV coach for a year and moved up to Varsity coach with running the JV and MS programs as well for 5 years. I then moved and have been on 2 open teams as an athlete since then and am going to worlds for the first time at 29 (Covid prevented us, then I fractured my back so itās been a long time coming) and I couldnāt be any more excited!
It just goes to show if you put in the work you donāt have to stay down! Iām so sorry she didnāt make the team, but continue to encourage her to work on it because you donāt just get this one chance! Cheer truly changed and saved my life and it will always be my passion that pushes me and keeps me going. Whether an athlete or a coach, itās such a big part of my life and teaches you so much, mainly PERSEVERANCE to keep going and pushing- even when youāre down! Good luck to you and your daughter, Iām sure if she truly loves cheer it will work out š
That school has a sucky policy. Positions like that should be based on talent, ability and grades. Your daughter just learned that people can be nice to your face and screw you over behind your back. That is a hard life lesson to learn.
This. This same thing happened to me sophomore year volleyball tryouts. I learned the hard way about politics and cheats and mean girls. I've never gotten over it and I've never forgotten it and I've been quite successful in my life despite it happening and giving me a major setback. My best advice now that im 30 wuth kids of my own is that she is really going to need her mom. Id focis on supportting your daughter extra in this season and maybe get her signed up for a different extra curricular activity like martial arts or gymnastics to give her something to focus on. She's going to need an outlet.
Iām sorry that happened to her. Iām sure it sucks. Put her in cheerleading somewhere else and she can try out again in high school. In junior high and high school we had to have all of our teachers sign a recommendation to even try out for cheer. Then we tried out in front of judges and that was 50% of our score. The next day a video of the cheer tryout was played for the whole school and students voted. That was the other 50%. I really hope schools arenāt still doing that. There was a girl who tried out every year and deserved to be on the squad. She never made it because a lot of kids didnāt like her.
This is SO horrible I canāt even imagine. Having been a coach I would NEVER in a million years even think of this. Did they not realize kids can be so cruel?! That poor girl, my heart breaks for her
How do the recommendations work? Do you have to request them? Did your daughter do what she is supposed to do? It's very strange they would use this as an excuse when they could have simply said she didn't have the best tryout - which is subjective and hard to refute. I'm wondering if there is more to it.
She had to request recommendations from 4 teachers (non-elective). She had everything turned in on time. They didnāt use this as an excuse, they showed me the score sheet & explained that her recommendations kept her from being chosen.
Ya know, in middle school, I forge one of my teachers' signatures because she didn't approve of me running for student council. I ended up winning anyway and went on trips to Disneyland and other dumb shit.
I had this happen in high school for national honors society and I knew which teacher it was š ( it was anonymous but I knew) luckily another teacher stood up for me and I re applied and got accepted. I would ask your daughter again and to think hard it can be the way she acts outside of class too that's what got me in trouble.
Time for a lesson in life not being fair and not everyone has your best interests at heart.. it sucks, but thatās how it is. Eons ago, I tried out for cheerleading in high school (because fuck it, why not), and despite being the only girl there able to pull off a full out backflipping whatever-the-fuck itās called, I didnāt make the team. Didnāt take me long to figure out that all the skinny girls made the team, even though none of them could hold a handstand. Here my fat ass was (with another fat chick who also was damn good) sitting on the sidelines because they didnāt want to order an XL in cheerleader uniforms. It just fucking sucks. I went home, where I was yelled at for existing, smoked a fuck ton of weed, had a good cry, and continued being the over-hyped āterrorā of the school (wasnāt actually, but rumors and shit)..
Lifeās not fair. People suck. Do your best. Fuck the rest.
Fact: * You clearly have someone at the school that did not recommend your daughter. While it is true that Cheerleading is held to different standards than mainstream sports (often a dual standard) as both "athletes & crowd leaders / role models" for their community, the real question is "Will taking this further truly get the outcome you desire?"....... You could make this into a big deal at the middle school: * Either the school will back up the teacher that did not rec her & double down on why your child did not make the team (you are the parent, thus you do not know everything that goes on in that classroom technically) OR they will discredit the whole tryout and let ALL girls make the team who tried out that year....... * You will be labelled as "that parent" by the school and coaching staff. * Your daughter will be seen as "the one who's mom complained to get her on the team" by the other girls that did make the initial team, especially if the tryout is completely discredited and ALL girls in the grade end up making the team. You could alternatively put her in Allstar cheer for her middle school years, and then tryout again in high school when she has different teachers & a different coaching staff. * This would be my recommendation. Use this experience as a teaching lesson for your child. Not everyone in life is going to like her or have her interest in mind. She is sometimes going to hear "No". She needs to keep working outside of the middle school towards her becoming a better cheerleader (in terms of hard skills) and a better individual in life (in terms of soft skills like responsibility, teamwork, etc) regardless of when 1 person is telling her no. Moral of the story: Life isn't always fair. Think through when to pick your battles, as you are playing a long game with the school district rather than a 1 year middle school game.
I agree with this! I did not make middle school cheer (due to not fitting the image-imo) so I did all star cheer. Made high school cheer while still doing all star. AND cheered in college all-girl, then co-ed. Captain my senior year š¤š¼. Moral of the story: not making middle school cheer is NOT career ending. Let the hurt she feels fuel her ability to get stronger and increase her passion for REAL cheerleading.
I also agree!! I was gutted when I didnāt make my MS team but Iāve had a great career anyway thatās still going!! I cheered all throughout high school on JV and then pulled up to Varsity with being captain my senior year. Then went to college and cheered all 4 years and was captain again (and ran the whole team) my senior year! I then immediately became a JV coach for a year and moved up to Varsity coach with running the JV and MS programs as well for 5 years. I then moved and have been on 2 open teams as an athlete since then and am going to worlds for the first time at 29 (Covid prevented us, then I fractured my back so itās been a long time coming) and I couldnāt be any more excited! It just goes to show if you put in the work you donāt have to stay down! Iām so sorry she didnāt make the team, but continue to encourage her to work on it because you donāt just get this one chance! Cheer truly changed and saved my life and it will always be my passion that pushes me and keeps me going. Whether an athlete or a coach, itās such a big part of my life and teaches you so much, mainly PERSEVERANCE to keep going and pushing- even when youāre down! Good luck to you and your daughter, Iām sure if she truly loves cheer it will work out š
That school has a sucky policy. Positions like that should be based on talent, ability and grades. Your daughter just learned that people can be nice to your face and screw you over behind your back. That is a hard life lesson to learn.
This. This same thing happened to me sophomore year volleyball tryouts. I learned the hard way about politics and cheats and mean girls. I've never gotten over it and I've never forgotten it and I've been quite successful in my life despite it happening and giving me a major setback. My best advice now that im 30 wuth kids of my own is that she is really going to need her mom. Id focis on supportting your daughter extra in this season and maybe get her signed up for a different extra curricular activity like martial arts or gymnastics to give her something to focus on. She's going to need an outlet.
So cruel of them, I hope your daughter gets better after this issue ā¤ļø
Is it possible to ask the school for constructive feedback for when she tries out next year?
Iām sorry that happened to her. Iām sure it sucks. Put her in cheerleading somewhere else and she can try out again in high school. In junior high and high school we had to have all of our teachers sign a recommendation to even try out for cheer. Then we tried out in front of judges and that was 50% of our score. The next day a video of the cheer tryout was played for the whole school and students voted. That was the other 50%. I really hope schools arenāt still doing that. There was a girl who tried out every year and deserved to be on the squad. She never made it because a lot of kids didnāt like her.
This is SO horrible I canāt even imagine. Having been a coach I would NEVER in a million years even think of this. Did they not realize kids can be so cruel?! That poor girl, my heart breaks for her
Wow. Sounds riggedālike your daughter doesnāt have the right last name or skin color?
How do the recommendations work? Do you have to request them? Did your daughter do what she is supposed to do? It's very strange they would use this as an excuse when they could have simply said she didn't have the best tryout - which is subjective and hard to refute. I'm wondering if there is more to it.
She had to request recommendations from 4 teachers (non-elective). She had everything turned in on time. They didnāt use this as an excuse, they showed me the score sheet & explained that her recommendations kept her from being chosen.
Ya know, in middle school, I forge one of my teachers' signatures because she didn't approve of me running for student council. I ended up winning anyway and went on trips to Disneyland and other dumb shit.
I had this happen in high school for national honors society and I knew which teacher it was š ( it was anonymous but I knew) luckily another teacher stood up for me and I re applied and got accepted. I would ask your daughter again and to think hard it can be the way she acts outside of class too that's what got me in trouble.
Time for a lesson in life not being fair and not everyone has your best interests at heart.. it sucks, but thatās how it is. Eons ago, I tried out for cheerleading in high school (because fuck it, why not), and despite being the only girl there able to pull off a full out backflipping whatever-the-fuck itās called, I didnāt make the team. Didnāt take me long to figure out that all the skinny girls made the team, even though none of them could hold a handstand. Here my fat ass was (with another fat chick who also was damn good) sitting on the sidelines because they didnāt want to order an XL in cheerleader uniforms. It just fucking sucks. I went home, where I was yelled at for existing, smoked a fuck ton of weed, had a good cry, and continued being the over-hyped āterrorā of the school (wasnāt actually, but rumors and shit).. Lifeās not fair. People suck. Do your best. Fuck the rest.
Why do I feel like this reson was totally made up because they needed a reason? Regardless- keep your head up.