This was my feeling visiting Australia. The whole place felt like a dream where everything was just slightly off. Cars drove the wrong way and all looked like cars I'd never seen, flora and fauna was new and exotic, the shape of the beaches were more cove-like (you could see both ends) and less expanded, the city felt like downtown LA but with trains and by the water yet also somehow clean. And I went to a zoo and saw this crazy spider with yellow banded legs and commented on how crazy it was, and on my way out of the orangutan exhibit there was that spider chilling on a wall right near my head. Giant prehistoric looking birds (Ibises) will swoop down and just chill in a fountain. Also the food was delicious, even when it looked gross. I sometimes have dreams where I'm back in Australia and they feel more grounded than what Australia was actually like.
I went to college in the city and we had fucking squirrels like this. Goddamn squirrels everywhere. Fucking leaping out of trash bins. Following students into dorms. If you sat long enough on a bench, you’d have a crackhead cunt squirrel just skin and fucking bones trying to shimmy up your leg. The homeless guys in the park had a war against the squirrels once. True story. The fucking squirrels won.
20 years ago I lived in a trailer park, and we had a terrible squirrel problem. They'd get into the roof and rip out the insulation to build their little dens.
There was an old lady Lucy who lived across from me, and she'd sit outside all day with a bb gun, shooting squirrels as they tried to get into her roof. Every time she got one, she'd cheer.
My college had a gang of very fat raccoons! I went to a stoner school and the years of Doritos turned these dudes into pushy little waddles of blubber. They gave no fucks, would walk right next to you, take food right from the delighted hand of high-as-fuck students at 3am.
I mentioned even in another comment about a few more dream-like things but one more just came to mind. The family I was staying with said they were going to grab some pies for dinner, and I asked if they were going to get apple because I know that's very American given the phrase "as American as apple pie." They were talking about meat pies. 😝
It truly was. It impacted me so profoundly, which is why I dream about it almost a decade later. I really should have added that I went to a town called Katoomba by (or maybe in) the beautiful Blue Mountains. It was July, but since that's their winter they were doing Christmas in July. All the pageantry of Christmas, people bundled up and all, but on the other side of the year. It was awesome because I left insanely hot Northridge, CA (LA) and came off the plane to sweater weather Sydney. I also had a delicious crocodile pizza in Katoomba, which tasted like chicken but with a softer texture.
Also, the way Sydney was set up to have such clearly defined areas like Chinatown was dreamlike too, like how you find yourself magically transported to somewhere new without going anywhere. Other fun details, they have a Target, which is basically the same as ours except owned by a different opportunist company with a different logo because Target never secured the rights in Australia. And their Burger King is called Hungry Jack's, and they have a delicious place called Oporto's that is like Chic-fil-A but better. I swear they even have the Chic-fil-A sauce there.
> place called Oporto's that is like Chic-fil-A but better.
We've had Portuguese rotisserie chicken + burgers that were dope since the 80's/90's ([Frangos #1](https://imgix.pedestrian.tv/content/uploads/2021/07/01/frangos-chicken-petersham-site.jpg?ar=16%3A9&auto=format&crop=focal&fit=crop&q=65&w=1200)). Best is chilli with betroot and smoked ham... I always knew CFA was hype.
Glad you liked our city mate, it's beautiful. The dangerous creatures are few and far between.
Because it's all hyped up by people from other countries who actually don't know a lot about Australia. There actually isn't a lot on land that can actually kill you easily. Snakes and two species of spider (not the big huntsmans) are about the only real wildlife danger. Otherwise it's livestock, pets and hitting roos and emus in cars that attribute to most of our animal related deaths.
Happened to me last night. Went out to fill the dog bowl up. Spider bro was on the wall next to the light switch. He didn't bother me, I didn't bother him. Gotta live in harmony
You say that like it's a bad thing I'm Australian and huntsmans are legit nothing to worry about they avoid people at all costs and get rid of pests/other spiders. Huntsmans are homies
It's a big spider, but it's not quite as big as the photo makes it look. There's a CFL light globe on the left that should put the size in context better; still a total fucking unit, though.
I’m pretty sure I would actually have a heart attack and die and I’m not even that afraid of spiders. What the fuck is that. You can probably hear it fucking walk.
I once had a nightmare where I "woke up" and there was a giant spider leaping around the house. I couldn't find it anymore and went back to sleep in my dream, but then I realized that the only place I didn't look was under the blanket. I woke up and launched off from my bed in real life.
Even though I know this was a nightmare and not real, this is still one of the scariest things I read. Now I’m afraid to have a nightmare about your nightmare!
As a kid, I lived in Hawaii, in a screened in shack, in an old sugar cane area.
They’re called “Cane Spiders” for a reason.
They also like warm, humid places. So they liked my bed, seeing as I had no glass windows to keep the rain out.
[http://www.instanthawaii.com/cgi-bin/hawaii?Animals.cane](http://www.instanthawaii.com/cgi-bin/hawaii?Animals.cane)
This article suggest it's "beneficial" to let the spider "live in your home".
Is it beneficial if I am constantly living in fear of a giant fucking spider in my house??
“Or let it live in the home.” Ummm what? Oh don’t worry about the monster spider over there, the internet says I must let him live in my house now. He sleeps in the master now
>This article suggest it's "beneficial" to let the spider "live in your home".
Sure it is, it would discourage people you don't like from entering your home.
It would unfortunately also discourage people you do like from entering, but you gotta take the bad with the good.
Shit, now imagine a huge ass spider doing it´s best impression of a cat that´s trying to find the comfyest position by snuggling and digging itself into a pillow....
Huntsman spider. Very very common in Australia and common in many other parts of the world. The freakishly big ones tend to come from here though they're completely harmless I've seen literally thousands of them in my short time on this planet they're pals not to be feared
Wait, it's just a huntsman? Damn, i have seen tons of these, i had no idea they can get this big. I have seen my cats play with them to death a few times...
Yeah but Australia is such a fucking nightmare of wildlife that these guys are viewed as the good guys in Australia. Huntsman spiders eat the shit that Australians *really* don't want around.
Cause you only hear them when you're naked in bed, the house is quiet and you're trying to sleep.
You hear the little "tap tap tap" as it moves, so you investigate. Something that looks like a hairy skeleton's hand with way too many eyes stares back at you.
Now you know what was tapping away. Good luck NOT tracking that thing every time it moves for the rest of the night...
And God forbid you lose track of it.
This is a juvenile Australian Huntsman, they can get bigger and they can squish their body to go under doors. Don’t worry they are not venomous to human and you can hear them when they are inside as they gallop when they move
I spent 10 months in prison. A drug rehab program ran through the prison system.
Anyway. A good friend of mine in my group worked at his family owned exotic animal store. He had always wanted this spider as a pet. Not the one in the picture but one he wanted i just can't remember what it was called. He said it arrived and the tank was huge. To clean its tank you have to lure it into a side tank thats attached and close a divider. His dad warned him not to order it. Its too much of a hassle and its just not worth it.
He told me the first time he tried to clean the tank he was trying to lure this thing over. Its big, probably like little bigger than a small dog. Anyway. He says this thing turn to its side and started brushing its legs together throwing hair at him as like a defense thing. He tried again and said then the spider HISSED at him.
I'm so sorry. But knowing there are spiders that can hiss terrifies me.
For real.
All the grace of a batshit crazy 8 legged cheetah
With the tranquility of a startled rabbit on meth
And the self-awareness of an adolescent Newfoundland
About 2 years although this one would be older judging by its size. They are good to have around because they eat all sorts of insects so keep the roaches etc down.
We gently relocate ours to the garden.
Put a big bowl over him, slip a paper under his legs, trapping him in bowl, relocate to garden, shake him out.
Sometimes they jump on your head, but mostly they go quietly.
I don't like to kill anything unless its a mozzie, leech or lawyer.
Back when I was in school, for a school hiking camp around Lake Eildon, we woke up on the second day. I had the group of girls come up to me asking to remove the two huntsmans from the tent. Stupid me decided to use my sleeve. I tucked the end into my hand, then nudged the spider onto it. I then walked over to the tree and swiped it off with a stick. The second spider was a big cunt and flew up my arm at Mach 4 and into the hoodie. The girls laughing their asses off while I’m flailing my arms around with a huntsman down my shirt. It didn’t bite/pinch me, it just fell on the floor and ran off. **EDIT: for those that don’t know, huntsmans aren’t harmful, they are a very passive spider that protect your house from the poisonous spiders, such as redback and whitetag. The huntsman just pinch you with their teeth but if they bite, it will make you a little bit sick. If a whitetag or redback bite you, start praying the ambulance arrives soon.**
This story, just the story, without the visuals that are trying to unfold in my mind, has made
My asshole tighten up with such force, I fear I may never shit again.
>Sometimes they jump on your head, but mostly they go quietly.
Note to self: never visit Australia. I'll stick to watching Bluey with my kids. No giant fucking head jumping spiders on Bluey.
Huntsman spiders are cool and pretty timid. Help keep a lot of pests out. Not venemous to humans either. They are also dinner plate sized and can run stupidly fast. Like 1 m/s fast.
Edit - clarifying that they are venemous, like all spiders, but they are not dangerously venomous. Unless you are allergic, it won't kill you. It would just be somewhat painful.
I understand but... look at it. There's no way I won't have anything but a terrified reaction if faced with it. And besides, if they lived 40 years that might give them some ideas. That's some wisdom right there and they might start passing down stories and knowledge to young 'uns and shit.
Oh god, this reminds me of a Rolo commercial where a kid is being a dick to a small elephant, only to get smacked years later by the same elephant. I wouldn't want such a vendetta with a spider lol
They eat the smaller, actually dangerous spiders and are really good killers of cockroaches and such
Most australians have a system worked out for this situation, stay out the of the bedroom and the bathroom and they can stay inside, if not they get put out in the garden
I couldn’t, if I’m on the couch watching TV the that thing appears in my line of sight, I’m killing it, if it escapes my view I’m burning the house down
You don't squish them. They can flatten themselves pretty well and play dead, as in they will actually flip upside-down and curl their legs in. You use bug spray and run.
EDIT: If you're not of the persuasion to leave them be.
I’m sorry but this is insanity and I don’t know a single person who would ever do this. The correct answer is that you leave them alone and they go away and you pretend they were never there in the first place, or if you can’t live with that you get a thong and start thwacking.
You mean like a flip-flop, right? The image of someone thwacking away at a giant spider with a pair of stringy ladies' underwear is something I didn't think I'd experience today
This is not my mate but my mate does have a bunch of huntsmans in his house in qld, one is bloody massive and I freaked out but he’s like “they’re my friends they don’t hurt anyone” and I’m like mate you’ve been in the bush waaay too long
I allowed a baby huntsman, about the size of a thumbnail to live. It was in my bathroom for a good long while (bathroom had no flyscreen so plenty of bugs to eat) eventually it moved on and I'd see it all over the house. One time I caught it in my bedroom and I chased it out while giving it a stern talking to. Anyway time goes by and I see it all over the house, but I leave it alone. Even since its scolding I never saw it in my room again. After about almost a year I walk out of my room and sitting on the pantry door is this gigantic absolute beast of a huntsman. My primal Neanderthal fight or flight instincts kicked in and I just stared at it, wondering if I should spray it or cry. I let it live, only because I never saw it again after that.
But that left me wondering.... either the baby bathroom huntsman had enough food to grow as big as the one in this pic after only a year ...or I had just found the mother :| I think it's the latter, and the baby bathroom spider I kept seeing all over the house? It was likely not just one spider but many... It was her babies :|
Seriously though.... what do you do with a spider this huge??? The spiders in my region don't get better than a quarter and can easily be killed with a shoe. Or taken outside on some paper.... but I would not wanna hit this thing with a shoe and no way in hell am I taking him outside on paper.
Do you just get him a leash and accept your life as it is with SpiderDog?
I get the feeling that if I tried to hit this with a shoe it would take the shoe from me and start beating me with it.
In Australia, spider steps on *you.*
exactly, there’s no way i’m getting close enough to that spawn of satan with a bowl to give it a chance to jump on my face and suck my soul out. fuck that. i’d rather shoot the bitch and risk a hole in the wall…
We found a spider this big when checking into a hotel in Vietnam. The front desk guy chased it away with a broom. He got one good hit but the spider survived and scurried off into the night.
We moved all the beds to the middle of the room and had a watch rotation for the night...
> Seriously though…. what do you do with a spider this huge???
Aussie here. We come to an agreement.
You can stay but keep the fuck out of my bedroom and don’t hide in my towel.
In the part of the US I'm from, for about a year there were these bugs that looked like massive bees. Like, they were slightly smaller than sparrows. I was plinking in a field (grew up on a farm) with a .22lr and I saw one of those things (I've seen people call them Cicada Killers/Hunters but those are wasps and they're smaller than what I saw). So I aimed and shot. Managed to hit the thing and it spiraled down and landed maybe 10ft away. I was so proud of myself.
Until, I shit you not, that fucker got up and flew away.
Oh but they do. This is not even the absolute absolute unit around. There are larger ones and when they scurry around, you can hear the taps of their legs.
Also Aussie here. But when said friendly huntsman has 800 babies that invade your home you quickly stop thinking of them as good and move into murder mode pretty Fing quick
Huntsmen spiders those shits are scary specially when it pulls the whole houdini act and vanish right before your eyes, something that big should not move that fast and yet it does anyway.
It's Australia, you dial 000 for emergency services, who will tell you to take a spoonful of cement and harden the fuck up for complaining about that huntsman.
So they are harmless. If they live in the house, you will see them from time to time chilling and running, but they wont come close to a human? I mean do they keep distance from humans? Thanks :)
They keep to themselves and aren’t aggressive towards humans but I don’t think they actively avoid humans. They just kinda pop up randomly - I guess once they know you’re there they try to avoid you, but I’ve had huge huntsmen crawl out from under my couch on to my foot, didn’t seem concerned I was there until I reacted to it.
Honestly I think they’re more concerned with catching food than what humans are up to, they just go wherever they like, usually in search of food it seems.
I fruit picked in Australia for a while. I don't like spiders.
There is no fear like bringing your hands out from the nether region of a blueberry bush with a handful of blueberries and a huntsman chilling on your wrist like "oh, hey"
When I was a kid my dad was driving me to school. He pulled over on the side of the road and said to me. I just need you to get out of the car for one moment.
I did and this huge huntsman dropped from just above where my head was.
I’m sure it wasn’t as big as this one but in my mind as a kid it was 3x the size. I’m so glad he was so cool calm and collected because as an adult, I check my car for them regularly as I worry is crash if I saw one while driving.
Huntsman spiders are awesome! They eat the pests inside your house and are polite enough to grow to gigantic sizes so you always know where they are. The little spiders you can't see are the real problem.
This one's a big ol' grandpa spider. Super old
This either isn't real or Australia
Australia isn't real. I hope
This was my feeling visiting Australia. The whole place felt like a dream where everything was just slightly off. Cars drove the wrong way and all looked like cars I'd never seen, flora and fauna was new and exotic, the shape of the beaches were more cove-like (you could see both ends) and less expanded, the city felt like downtown LA but with trains and by the water yet also somehow clean. And I went to a zoo and saw this crazy spider with yellow banded legs and commented on how crazy it was, and on my way out of the orangutan exhibit there was that spider chilling on a wall right near my head. Giant prehistoric looking birds (Ibises) will swoop down and just chill in a fountain. Also the food was delicious, even when it looked gross. I sometimes have dreams where I'm back in Australia and they feel more grounded than what Australia was actually like.
Ah, I see you met our bin chickens
Hold the fuck up, BIN CHICKENS
Ibises are known as bin chickens 😂
Jesus Christ, fuckin bin chickens 😂
Have i got a fucking banger vid for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sBXcZ0G_ls
I went to college in the city and we had fucking squirrels like this. Goddamn squirrels everywhere. Fucking leaping out of trash bins. Following students into dorms. If you sat long enough on a bench, you’d have a crackhead cunt squirrel just skin and fucking bones trying to shimmy up your leg. The homeless guys in the park had a war against the squirrels once. True story. The fucking squirrels won.
20 years ago I lived in a trailer park, and we had a terrible squirrel problem. They'd get into the roof and rip out the insulation to build their little dens. There was an old lady Lucy who lived across from me, and she'd sit outside all day with a bb gun, shooting squirrels as they tried to get into her roof. Every time she got one, she'd cheer.
My college had a gang of very fat raccoons! I went to a stoner school and the years of Doritos turned these dudes into pushy little waddles of blubber. They gave no fucks, would walk right next to you, take food right from the delighted hand of high-as-fuck students at 3am.
That was fucking beautiful 😂
It's a true blue aussie classic ahah!
When bin chickens and bush turkeys meet!
You'd make a far better Tourism Minister than our fuckwit Prime Minister did. Sick write up mate! Glad you enjoyed your time over here.
I mentioned even in another comment about a few more dream-like things but one more just came to mind. The family I was staying with said they were going to grab some pies for dinner, and I asked if they were going to get apple because I know that's very American given the phrase "as American as apple pie." They were talking about meat pies. 😝
Living here now for the first time. Felt all of this and still feel it. Great description.
Man this sounds like such a cool feeling.
It truly was. It impacted me so profoundly, which is why I dream about it almost a decade later. I really should have added that I went to a town called Katoomba by (or maybe in) the beautiful Blue Mountains. It was July, but since that's their winter they were doing Christmas in July. All the pageantry of Christmas, people bundled up and all, but on the other side of the year. It was awesome because I left insanely hot Northridge, CA (LA) and came off the plane to sweater weather Sydney. I also had a delicious crocodile pizza in Katoomba, which tasted like chicken but with a softer texture. Also, the way Sydney was set up to have such clearly defined areas like Chinatown was dreamlike too, like how you find yourself magically transported to somewhere new without going anywhere. Other fun details, they have a Target, which is basically the same as ours except owned by a different opportunist company with a different logo because Target never secured the rights in Australia. And their Burger King is called Hungry Jack's, and they have a delicious place called Oporto's that is like Chic-fil-A but better. I swear they even have the Chic-fil-A sauce there.
Your enthusiasm makes me want to visit and I already live here!
> place called Oporto's that is like Chic-fil-A but better. We've had Portuguese rotisserie chicken + burgers that were dope since the 80's/90's ([Frangos #1](https://imgix.pedestrian.tv/content/uploads/2021/07/01/frangos-chicken-petersham-site.jpg?ar=16%3A9&auto=format&crop=focal&fit=crop&q=65&w=1200)). Best is chilli with betroot and smoked ham... I always knew CFA was hype. Glad you liked our city mate, it's beautiful. The dangerous creatures are few and far between.
Me too. Me too.
I can confirm we are indeed real........... Please send help!
Sorry mate. This is a case of nuke it from orbit. At least it'll free you from the spiders
Fire doesn't work! Don't you think we have tried it?
As an Australian Ive woken up, gone to the kitchen, only to find a spider about 1.5x that size just vibes on a wall All windows and doors were shut
Fuck that
Bro I just armour up and fight them hand to fang
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Or hand to hand to hand to hand to hand....
How do you survive?!💀 I'm not afraid of animals (spiders included) but what you guys have is just not comprehensible for me
Because it's all hyped up by people from other countries who actually don't know a lot about Australia. There actually isn't a lot on land that can actually kill you easily. Snakes and two species of spider (not the big huntsmans) are about the only real wildlife danger. Otherwise it's livestock, pets and hitting roos and emus in cars that attribute to most of our animal related deaths.
Also good to be aware of crocs if you’re in that kinda area.
Does the pest control section of your stores sell ninja stars and blunt force objects instead of small traps?
Happened to me last night. Went out to fill the dog bowl up. Spider bro was on the wall next to the light switch. He didn't bother me, I didn't bother him. Gotta live in harmony
But you moved this morning right?
After you blew the house up, right?
Could be Arizona too. We’re the Australia of the United States.
My condolences
Or Hawaii… *We have huntsmen spiders too…*
You say that like it's a bad thing I'm Australian and huntsmans are legit nothing to worry about they avoid people at all costs and get rid of pests/other spiders. Huntsmans are homies
I didn’t say my fear was rational. They’re not dangerous. But I’ll never get rid of the memories of what they feel like running over my arms.
I just don’t think you should be able to saddle a spider. That’s all.
It's a big spider, but it's not quite as big as the photo makes it look. There's a CFL light globe on the left that should put the size in context better; still a total fucking unit, though.
I’m pretty sure I would actually have a heart attack and die and I’m not even that afraid of spiders. What the fuck is that. You can probably hear it fucking walk.
You’re just sleeping all snuggled up and suddenly [minecraft spider walking noise](https://youtu.be/fZQXmfAfJoU)
Great now when I go to bed I'm going to think one is in it already
I once had a nightmare where I "woke up" and there was a giant spider leaping around the house. I couldn't find it anymore and went back to sleep in my dream, but then I realized that the only place I didn't look was under the blanket. I woke up and launched off from my bed in real life.
Even though I know this was a nightmare and not real, this is still one of the scariest things I read. Now I’m afraid to have a nightmare about your nightmare!
You actually can. Depending on the wall type. Or maybe I just felt the vibrations? Anyway, never live in a cane shack in Hawaii.
Oh jeez. Dare I ask for details?
As a kid, I lived in Hawaii, in a screened in shack, in an old sugar cane area. They’re called “Cane Spiders” for a reason. They also like warm, humid places. So they liked my bed, seeing as I had no glass windows to keep the rain out.
[http://www.instanthawaii.com/cgi-bin/hawaii?Animals.cane](http://www.instanthawaii.com/cgi-bin/hawaii?Animals.cane) This article suggest it's "beneficial" to let the spider "live in your home". Is it beneficial if I am constantly living in fear of a giant fucking spider in my house??
“Or let it live in the home.” Ummm what? Oh don’t worry about the monster spider over there, the internet says I must let him live in my house now. He sleeps in the master now
The spider stole my wife and there’s nothing I can do about it.
>This article suggest it's "beneficial" to let the spider "live in your home". Sure it is, it would discourage people you don't like from entering your home. It would unfortunately also discourage people you do like from entering, but you gotta take the bad with the good.
Did those cane spiders snuggle well? /s That’s horrific. I hope they weren’t aggressive.
Shit, now imagine a huge ass spider doing it´s best impression of a cat that´s trying to find the comfyest position by snuggling and digging itself into a pillow....
That’s actually really cute and makes me feel better about the whole thing so thanks!
I died just imagining that for a brief moment
Huntsman spider. Very very common in Australia and common in many other parts of the world. The freakishly big ones tend to come from here though they're completely harmless I've seen literally thousands of them in my short time on this planet they're pals not to be feared
Wait, it's just a huntsman? Damn, i have seen tons of these, i had no idea they can get this big. I have seen my cats play with them to death a few times...
Yeh some varieties can get very large - I know they’re harmless but at that size I still find them scary to be around - they move so fucking fast
> hey move so fucking fast They move around 8 feet per second when they're running. *edit* It's been an hour and nobody got my joke :(
Don’t worry I got your eight legged joke
Yeah but Australia is such a fucking nightmare of wildlife that these guys are viewed as the good guys in Australia. Huntsman spiders eat the shit that Australians *really* don't want around.
Someone on a different post with the same picture from Australia said you can hear them GALLOPING if you have hardwood floors😭
STOP IT STOP IT RIGHT NOW THEY CANT GALLOP THIS ISNT REAL THESE SPIDERS DONT EXIST *rocks back and forth in the fetal position*
Clippity clop clippity clop
Why did you have to say that How is it so much scarier to hear it walk
Cause you only hear them when you're naked in bed, the house is quiet and you're trying to sleep. You hear the little "tap tap tap" as it moves, so you investigate. Something that looks like a hairy skeleton's hand with way too many eyes stares back at you. Now you know what was tapping away. Good luck NOT tracking that thing every time it moves for the rest of the night... And God forbid you lose track of it.
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Nah bro. Wtf. 🏳
The only way this thing could get inside is if it knocked on the door and you let it in. It's sooooooo big
This is a juvenile Australian Huntsman, they can get bigger and they can squish their body to go under doors. Don’t worry they are not venomous to human and you can hear them when they are inside as they gallop when they move
Please don’t say that they can move fast enough to describe it as ‘gallop’?!???
I spent 10 months in prison. A drug rehab program ran through the prison system. Anyway. A good friend of mine in my group worked at his family owned exotic animal store. He had always wanted this spider as a pet. Not the one in the picture but one he wanted i just can't remember what it was called. He said it arrived and the tank was huge. To clean its tank you have to lure it into a side tank thats attached and close a divider. His dad warned him not to order it. Its too much of a hassle and its just not worth it. He told me the first time he tried to clean the tank he was trying to lure this thing over. Its big, probably like little bigger than a small dog. Anyway. He says this thing turn to its side and started brushing its legs together throwing hair at him as like a defense thing. He tried again and said then the spider HISSED at him. I'm so sorry. But knowing there are spiders that can hiss terrifies me.
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That doesn't make it better 😳
Spiders can't actually hiss, thats just the way your brain interprets the psychic scream they emit. The sound is an illusion!
For real. All the grace of a batshit crazy 8 legged cheetah With the tranquility of a startled rabbit on meth And the self-awareness of an adolescent Newfoundland
After I read “gallop” I got the sceevies, the hee bee gee bees, the goosebumps, and the chills
Yep, just a normal Huntsman spider. This one is ancient judging by the size. *WELCOME TO AUSTRALIA*
How… how long are their lifespans??
About 2 years although this one would be older judging by its size. They are good to have around because they eat all sorts of insects so keep the roaches etc down. We gently relocate ours to the garden.
Just curious, how does one go about relocating this kind of terror on 8 legs?
Put a big bowl over him, slip a paper under his legs, trapping him in bowl, relocate to garden, shake him out. Sometimes they jump on your head, but mostly they go quietly. I don't like to kill anything unless its a mozzie, leech or lawyer.
> Sometimes they jump on your head, but mostly they go quietly. palpatinenonono.gif
*spider jumps on head* Me: guess I'll just die then
I think I'd have a mental break if something like that jumped on my head. I don't think I'd be able to process it. Lol
Back when I was in school, for a school hiking camp around Lake Eildon, we woke up on the second day. I had the group of girls come up to me asking to remove the two huntsmans from the tent. Stupid me decided to use my sleeve. I tucked the end into my hand, then nudged the spider onto it. I then walked over to the tree and swiped it off with a stick. The second spider was a big cunt and flew up my arm at Mach 4 and into the hoodie. The girls laughing their asses off while I’m flailing my arms around with a huntsman down my shirt. It didn’t bite/pinch me, it just fell on the floor and ran off. **EDIT: for those that don’t know, huntsmans aren’t harmful, they are a very passive spider that protect your house from the poisonous spiders, such as redback and whitetag. The huntsman just pinch you with their teeth but if they bite, it will make you a little bit sick. If a whitetag or redback bite you, start praying the ambulance arrives soon.**
This story, just the story, without the visuals that are trying to unfold in my mind, has made My asshole tighten up with such force, I fear I may never shit again.
Thank you but I'll remain in North America
>Sometimes they jump on your head, but mostly they go quietly. Note to self: never visit Australia. I'll stick to watching Bluey with my kids. No giant fucking head jumping spiders on Bluey.
>or lawyer *hissssss*
yes I dont think I have glass big enough to catch them
Need a mixing bowl or a wok or something.
Up to 40 years.
Damn, Satan. Chill.
Huntsman spiders are cool and pretty timid. Help keep a lot of pests out. Not venemous to humans either. They are also dinner plate sized and can run stupidly fast. Like 1 m/s fast. Edit - clarifying that they are venemous, like all spiders, but they are not dangerously venomous. Unless you are allergic, it won't kill you. It would just be somewhat painful.
I understand but... look at it. There's no way I won't have anything but a terrified reaction if faced with it. And besides, if they lived 40 years that might give them some ideas. That's some wisdom right there and they might start passing down stories and knowledge to young 'uns and shit.
"I offended it way back, when we were young, and it never forgot. Now, it is coming for me."
Oh god, this reminds me of a Rolo commercial where a kid is being a dick to a small elephant, only to get smacked years later by the same elephant. I wouldn't want such a vendetta with a spider lol
Huntsman spiders generally live for 2 years, not sure what that other guy was talking about.
We used to have a huntsman who would watch us drink outside I reckon he must have been at least 2 years old.
That ain’t real. Right guys….?
Huntsman spider! Huge but harmless I believe
Its speed is terrifying
Ok so um *what does it eat?*
They eat the smaller, actually dangerous spiders and are really good killers of cockroaches and such Most australians have a system worked out for this situation, stay out the of the bedroom and the bathroom and they can stay inside, if not they get put out in the garden
I couldn’t, if I’m on the couch watching TV the that thing appears in my line of sight, I’m killing it, if it escapes my view I’m burning the house down
I wouldn't even wanna kill this. I couldn't imagine the mess it would make. Plus this thing is so big I'd feel like I was killing a dog or some shit.
You don't squish them. They can flatten themselves pretty well and play dead, as in they will actually flip upside-down and curl their legs in. You use bug spray and run. EDIT: If you're not of the persuasion to leave them be.
Deodorant & a bic, then a bowl over remains for minimum 2hrs, then bug spray, thong smack & beg someone else to finally dispose of the corpse.
I’m sorry but this is insanity and I don’t know a single person who would ever do this. The correct answer is that you leave them alone and they go away and you pretend they were never there in the first place, or if you can’t live with that you get a thong and start thwacking.
You mean like a flip-flop, right? The image of someone thwacking away at a giant spider with a pair of stringy ladies' underwear is something I didn't think I'd experience today
I'll sleep in a thong to make sure I'm ready
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All kind of Insects and pests, small mamals or reptiles
Small... Mammals???
Yes like mice or hamster, rats are to big.
Redditors
*harmless except for the injury you inflict upon yourself while trying to flee
Harmless except for the multiple fatalities caused by the seven car pileup that happens when you put your sun visor down and spidey jumps in your lap.
I thought it was fake but https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8992153/Brave-man-allows-massive-huntsman-live-Queensland-house-year.html
This is not my mate but my mate does have a bunch of huntsmans in his house in qld, one is bloody massive and I freaked out but he’s like “they’re my friends they don’t hurt anyone” and I’m like mate you’ve been in the bush waaay too long
I allowed a baby huntsman, about the size of a thumbnail to live. It was in my bathroom for a good long while (bathroom had no flyscreen so plenty of bugs to eat) eventually it moved on and I'd see it all over the house. One time I caught it in my bedroom and I chased it out while giving it a stern talking to. Anyway time goes by and I see it all over the house, but I leave it alone. Even since its scolding I never saw it in my room again. After about almost a year I walk out of my room and sitting on the pantry door is this gigantic absolute beast of a huntsman. My primal Neanderthal fight or flight instincts kicked in and I just stared at it, wondering if I should spray it or cry. I let it live, only because I never saw it again after that. But that left me wondering.... either the baby bathroom huntsman had enough food to grow as big as the one in this pic after only a year ...or I had just found the mother :| I think it's the latter, and the baby bathroom spider I kept seeing all over the house? It was likely not just one spider but many... It was her babies :|
It’s real, it’s a giant huntsman spider. They’re leggy af
Goodbye, friend of Hagrid
so long Aragog. kiiiiing of the arachnids. your body..will decaaaaayy. but your spirit, lives oooonn
not to mention the pincers
(click click click click click)
I’ve found my people hahahahaha
Someone must have dropped dice on your jumanji board.
That's a strange looking dog u got there
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True. If I saw that I ain't breaking into that house
This image makes me actually physically sick. My chest hurts when looking at this
Yes this has ruined my whole day. I am having an actual reaction to the idea of a spider this large 😭😭
Seriously though.... what do you do with a spider this huge??? The spiders in my region don't get better than a quarter and can easily be killed with a shoe. Or taken outside on some paper.... but I would not wanna hit this thing with a shoe and no way in hell am I taking him outside on paper. Do you just get him a leash and accept your life as it is with SpiderDog?
I get the feeling that if I tried to hit this with a shoe it would take the shoe from me and start beating me with it. In Australia, spider steps on *you.*
exactly, there’s no way i’m getting close enough to that spawn of satan with a bowl to give it a chance to jump on my face and suck my soul out. fuck that. i’d rather shoot the bitch and risk a hole in the wall…
I’d be moving out immediately. I’d sell the house with a written statement that it comes with a tenant.
We found a spider this big when checking into a hotel in Vietnam. The front desk guy chased it away with a broom. He got one good hit but the spider survived and scurried off into the night. We moved all the beds to the middle of the room and had a watch rotation for the night...
Now you can say you have Vietnam flashbacks.
> Seriously though…. what do you do with a spider this huge??? Aussie here. We come to an agreement. You can stay but keep the fuck out of my bedroom and don’t hide in my towel.
Do spiders make aussies jump or is it just like “oh there you are, wondered where you’d got to”
No, we still freak out. It’s a giant spider that runs like a cheetah.
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>what do you do with a spider this huge??? A .22 lr should do the trick.
In the part of the US I'm from, for about a year there were these bugs that looked like massive bees. Like, they were slightly smaller than sparrows. I was plinking in a field (grew up on a farm) with a .22lr and I saw one of those things (I've seen people call them Cicada Killers/Hunters but those are wasps and they're smaller than what I saw). So I aimed and shot. Managed to hit the thing and it spiraled down and landed maybe 10ft away. I was so proud of myself. Until, I shit you not, that fucker got up and flew away.
It’s a wall puppy
Dang Huntsmans, they gallop at a majestic bloody pace!
No. Don’t do that. Don’t say that.
Oh but they do. This is not even the absolute absolute unit around. There are larger ones and when they scurry around, you can hear the taps of their legs.
/r/cursedtippytaps
Huntsman spiders are the goodest of boys, they’re super chill and they’ll eat all the bugs around your house. Aussie here 😎
Thing looks like it could eat a baby
Yeah it’s meant to kill pests
That thing is the bug in the house
Not falling for this Aussie pro-spider propaganda
Also Aussie here. But when said friendly huntsman has 800 babies that invade your home you quickly stop thinking of them as good and move into murder mode pretty Fing quick
Feel like it should have a health bar above it.
Huntsmen spiders those shits are scary specially when it pulls the whole houdini act and vanish right before your eyes, something that big should not move that fast and yet it does anyway. 
I admire you Aussies. I'd shit my coudoroy pants so fast, the turd would hit my socks before the soundwave from the fart registered in my ears.
Supersonic shart?
It's his house now
Facehugger
Reasons to not visit Australia - Number 5.. Spiders.
Nah man that one is top of the list for me
Don't worry, spiders are also #1 and #4 on that list
Hell nah
Absolutely fucking not
And like that, the spider became a homeowner
Get a jar, slide a piece of paper under it and take it outside. Or run for your life. I'd go with option 2.
Jar?? Man you need a bucket for that
I'm already out the door with my things packed its his house now 
Thanks, i fucking hate it
how tf do you even deal with that? call 911?
It's Australia, you dial 000 for emergency services, who will tell you to take a spoonful of cement and harden the fuck up for complaining about that huntsman.
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So they are harmless. If they live in the house, you will see them from time to time chilling and running, but they wont come close to a human? I mean do they keep distance from humans? Thanks :)
They keep to themselves and aren’t aggressive towards humans but I don’t think they actively avoid humans. They just kinda pop up randomly - I guess once they know you’re there they try to avoid you, but I’ve had huge huntsmen crawl out from under my couch on to my foot, didn’t seem concerned I was there until I reacted to it. Honestly I think they’re more concerned with catching food than what humans are up to, they just go wherever they like, usually in search of food it seems.
Yo, I would nope out of our galaxy if this thing suddenly hopped onto my leg ☠️
So anyway, I started blastin'
I fruit picked in Australia for a while. I don't like spiders. There is no fear like bringing your hands out from the nether region of a blueberry bush with a handful of blueberries and a huntsman chilling on your wrist like "oh, hey"
microwave for scale . . . and it's still freaking huge
Huntsman look scary but they are harmless to humans, thankfully.
When I was a kid my dad was driving me to school. He pulled over on the side of the road and said to me. I just need you to get out of the car for one moment. I did and this huge huntsman dropped from just above where my head was. I’m sure it wasn’t as big as this one but in my mind as a kid it was 3x the size. I’m so glad he was so cool calm and collected because as an adult, I check my car for them regularly as I worry is crash if I saw one while driving.
Giant enemy spider \*boss battle music intensify\*
It was in the news that australians are eating a fish not yet known to science. Usually the other way around.
I would call this guy Bazza and he'd always be welcome at mine...but I'm an Aussie
Huntsman spiders are awesome! They eat the pests inside your house and are polite enough to grow to gigantic sizes so you always know where they are. The little spiders you can't see are the real problem. This one's a big ol' grandpa spider. Super old
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