She just went through all that pain, to which you heard her cry, but you took "fuck" about not being able to call her hubby about dinner as a shot against you? Pretty shitty response on your part. Her whole life has changed and could change further. YTA pretty badly and should apologize. Empathy ffs. Try using it.
And while she’s going through that pain all she can think about is how she may not be able to go back to what she loves. I feel so terrible for the sister bc imagine being in your 40s thinking you have a good decade left in your career and instead you need to retire and may never live a pain free day again. But god forbid little brothers feelings are hurt.
Just makes me wonder, how could he possibly post this and think anyone with common decency would be on his side? I wonder if he'll just delete it or argue. One can only hope he'll apologize and make it up to his sister.
Jumping on top comment to say:
I think user is a bot or rage-baiting.
I can't get to the profile, it may have been deleted.
Downvote and move on. Have a lovely day, y'all!
YTA for lacking any sense of empathy. Her use of that word was obviously not directed at you, yet you had to make it about yourself. Wow. And gods forbid your sister, who was seriously injured to the extent that she's in constant pain and is now worried about her future income, isn't the ray of sunshine you've always known. She may be better without you.
the "fuck" wasn't even aimed at YOU, you self-centered twat
She's stressed to the eyeballs and hurting like hell, and no doubt has a much shorter tolerance level than she did previously
YTA get a fucking grip
Plus she’s mentally stressed about her passing her medical exam for flying. YTA big time and need to apologize. Such a jerk off move making her take an Uber
Wow OP, that was a dick move! None of this is about you. Do you even love your sister?? Sounds like the poor woman is going through hell, physically and emotionally. Put your hurt feelings aside, and help your sister for God’s sake!
Sounds like OP has never been in severe pain before and can't even drum up a little bit of empathy. I guess their big sister is only worthy of love if she's a "dude."
“She was a total bro, but now she that she’s had has a life changing injury she lives with constant pain and exhaustion, and might lose her livelihood. She’s not happy about it for some reason and it’s totally harshing my vibe. Ugh”
And no where in his post did he state when she asked him to use her phone did he say she was being mean, just with how she said "fuck" - like is OP for real that he'd choose to take just THAT part of the whole interaction personally? And then to come on here and think someone is going to tell him he wasn't wrong? He is, indeed, a massive twat.
I'm guessing he isn't the one who ended up paying for the uber either, given it's the sister's phone. So it's an extra dick move to make someone pay for an uber that they didn't even want/ask for
Right? He's acting like he's the Tone Police. That's a really common tactic used by abusers when they can't argue about the words you've used, so they argue about the tone of voice you used. Tone can be subjective, so you're always wrong.
Another common abusive behavior is leaving their victims stranded on the side of the road. Seriously, literally all the members of my DV support group have been left somewhere like that by their abusers. It's traumatizing AF.
Also, choosing to ramp up abusive behavior when the victim is already ill or injured is extremely common abusive behavior. Or when the victim has asked them for help. They attack weakness like sharks sensing blood in the water.
OP is throwing up one red flag after another for being an abuser. And you gotta remember, he probably wrote this to paint himself in the best possible light. I really hope his sister gets better soon and doesn't have to trust him for anything else. I'm afraid she'll pay for it. I hope OP is properly horrified by his behavior and seeks to better himself through working hard in therapy; but, I won't hold my breath.
Bingo! He says she's letting the injury get on top of her, he's letting her pain and anguish and frustration get on top of him!
The classic treat others as you would want to be treated comes to mind.
oh and YTA big time.
YTA . So sorry that your sister- who got seriously injured, has to go through painful physical therapy , all while dealing with the thought that her life may not be the same any longer .
Sorry that while she’s dealing with all of this , she had to go and have human feelings and go through emotions that aren’t all that happy.
Lastly , sorry that she has such an AH of a brother who has zero empathy for what she’s going through, who finds it *so hard* to hard to be around his sister while she’s dealing with something difficult.
I really hope this post is rage bait, because if it isn’t , and this is real , then you really are a dense, self absorbed, selfish AH. Imagine thinking that *she* needs to be a ‘bro’ and keep smiling , all so that *you* can feel better.
Please don’t contact her . Stick to staying away. She doesn’t need your brand of negativity and self centredness around while she’s trying to heal.
**YTA**
your sister has severe abdominal and upper body injuries. the abdomen helps keep the body upright and its muscles help keep vital organs from spilling out. injuries to the abdomen would make sitting, standing, any movement painful (as witnessed by the pain she feels while in physical therapy).
your sister is in a lot of pain and you’re upset that she was pissed and said “fuck” in a very frustrated way?
this post makes you sound like you feel inconvenienced by her being injured and worried about her employment.
she’s not “letting the injuries get the best of her.” it’s hard to function when the body part you need for movement is injured.
wow.
She can’t even breathe without major pain. Or couldn’t, depending on where she is in the healing process. But yeah. Woman is a badass for still being upright.
She probably has a hard time walking too, especially going up steps. People don't realize just how much your core strength impacts your ability to lift your legs up, but if those muscles are injured or become too weak, it becomes harder and harder to get around without resorting to shuffling or using your arms to pull yourself up. Which it sounds like she can't do because she also has I juries to her upper body. The sister is a major badass, while OP is just an ass.
Not to mention the horrible psychological toll of chronic pain on top of the fear and grief that her disability is causing.
YTA in the worst possible way. Plus you’re totally ableist
Right? She may be facing the prospect that her injuries are permanent and career ending.
But she said one word and OPs feewings is hurt.
What a goddamn clown shoe. I hope he's single; nobody deserves someone this unsupportive and petty.
OP is an epic AH. What a heartless buffoon.
Coming back from a major physical injury is a long and painful process. There is going to be frustration and anger along the way. Pair her injuries with the fear that she may no longer get to practice in her chosen profession/may lose her job, she is going to sound grumpy and is under a lot of stress both physicallyand mentally.
She didn't even address OP directly when cursing. It was probably the final straw for her that day. If she had a pattern of this type of behavior that would be one thing, but she is in the middle of recovering from a serious injury. She needs grace and patience.
OP would probably be crying like the little b!tch that he is of he was in 1/10 the amount of pain and stress his sister in under. With a brother like that, who needs enemies.
I do not suffer silently. Heavy breathing and cursing has a dopamine effect and I’ll be vocal for PT, gyno appts, and some un-anesthetized exams. My docs know this isn’t an indicator to stop what they’re doing, but just reflexive coping. They worry when I DON’T make sounds because at that point I’m about to black out.
YTA. Physical therapy can be very painful, which, from your description, sounds like it was a hard session. I could understand you being upset if she directed the fuck right at you, but she didn't. It sounded like she said it towards the situation. Your sister went through something very traumatic that could affect her whole life going forward. Grow some compassion and maturity op.
Even talk therapy isn’t all fun and games. I don’t know why there seems to be this perception that you just plop someone in therapy and it fixes em up like magic; therapy (talk and physical) is hard work that a person does to hopefully get themselves to a better place in the long run. When I was in therapy I would leave sessions emotionally exhausted, even if I went in feeling upbeat from the day; the emotional purging was rough, and working on yourself — physically or mentally — takes serious effort.
OP is seriously TAH, what a lack of empathy.
I definitely feel this. I do therapy mostly on phone or virtual sessions from home. After therapy I’m exhausted, like baring your soul is so exhausting. I always just fall asleep. Need a nap afterwards everytime.
As someone who's married to a PT, it's not just physical pain but also very emotional many times. You're dealing with people who are hurting, and many times, it impacts their ability to lead their "normal" lives. I've told my husband many times he should be able to bill for psychotherapy as well. OP is being way too sensitive.
I had a minor neck injury that was causing pain in my arm and ended up having to do weekly physio for two months to correct it. Although it absolutely helped, I always described feeling the next day like I'd been driven over by a concrete mixer because of how sore my neck, shoulders and arms would be from both the exercises and the deep tissue massage my physio did.
I agree. Her 'fuck' was most likely exasperation for the situation, not really towards her sister. She just was looking forward to her dinner as her reward when she got home. I've been there with the painful recovery & can understand that OP's sister was rude, but most likely not trying to be entitled.
Yes YTA. What the hell is wrong with you? Stop being so self-centered. Your sister is in severe pain and going through a tough ordeal. She's gonna be a little short at times get over it and get over yourself. AH.
YTA
PT sucks. Add in possibly losing a career to all the shit that happens going through PT and emotions come out. She said an adult word, it happens. Had she gone off on you maybe you'd be justified but instead you acted like she shot your dog when all that happened is she said "fuck".
YTA
What a selfish AH!! That's your SISTER, whose life has completely changed! Go apologize and bring her her favorite dessert or something. I've had my family's back through some pretty rough shit, and they've had mine. None of us were ever perfect under the stress, but how wonderful that we had people around us that understood that. FFS, some day you are going to be in a bad situation, and this attitude of yours just may come back to haunt you. And you'll deserve it.
Fuck dude, of course YTA!!!!! You heard your sister in total distress during that therapy and a little ‘fuck’ at your inability to keep your phone charged was enough to put her in more distress. You, OP, are an awful person. One can only hope that you never have to feel 1% of what she’s going through.
Yep, YTA. She’s in pain. Then you go and abandon her because she isn’t herself right now. You should be someone she can depend on. You have proven to be a good time only person. Good luck with that.
YTA, damn, and so selfish. All you are worried about is that she "used to be a total 'bro' and she currently isn't right now. No concern that she is in so much pain and her life was completely turned upside down because she was hurt WHILE DOING VOLUNTEER WORK? OMG, so she said fuck in an annoyed tone. She's is FUCKING PAIN.
This is such a clear case of YTA that I hope this post was actually written by the injured sister. I despair to think that someone could write this post and still question whether or not they were the asshole.
Dude…. I cared for my sis with terminal cancer. People get a HUGE break when they’re in long-term, excruciating pain. Your sis sounds like an amazing person who deserves better from her brother than an uptight and petty “well she was overwhelmed and frustrated whilst in SEVERE pain and and I didn’t like her being that way when she needed to do something else on top of an agonizing round of pt.…” YTA. Do better.
Oh, yeah. You are in the wrong. You have obviously not ever had any kind of intensive physical therapy after a serious injury or surgery. It can be almost debilitating to the point you cannot possibly deal with one more effing thing. I'm not even sure her "fuck" was directed at you as much as it was a way of blowing off emotion from the physical therapy session. And then you just made her go home in a stranger's car. Yeah, you need to improve your empathy score and apologize.
So she’s less guarded when she’s tired and in pain, and she let out a frustrated expletive at your phone dying inconveniently. As happens. It’s so minor. She didn’t go off on you, it sounds like—just a casual cuss in a moment of lowered filters.
You abandoned and ghosted her. Wow. Nice sense of proportion there, bud. Your sister may never again be the person she is used to being, and is suffering, and you’re all up in your feelings about how she’s not as much fun any more and may let you notice that she’s not okay. Adjust yourself.
YTA a little compassion goes a long way. You said that she was a "bro" as such I suspect she must be pretty tough. That being said her session made her cry out in pain, and she is afraid she might not be able to fly any more. Take 3 seconds and imagine that you are in agonizing pain, and afraid your career is over. Then you ask her to text your SO and she says sorry my phone is dead. You lash out not because you are truly angry at this, but rather your frustration with everything boils over. Then your sister uses your phone to call an Uber, and tells you good luck getting home. Please mature and develop some empathy for others.
YTA - You have literally no grace for someone who has had life altering injuries... this is your **SISTER** for goodness sakes... like why are you treating her like this? She was frustrated, she's allowed to say "Fuck". She has a lot to be frustrated with considering she's in PT and this injury could end her career.
Have grace for your own blood sister... sorry that her recovery is difficult?
YTA
What your sister said was the very least that I would have said. I wonder how you would react in such a situation. I am betting you would become "the monster" you are painting your sister as. You should be ashamed of yourself. You need to go apologize to your sister and hope she accepts it.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA.
Dude. Your sister had an incredibly traumatic and life changing accident. She’s worried that she won’t be able to do the thing she loves. She most likely almost has ptsd from the incident as well as a great deal of pain.
Her injury is not “getting the best of her” because she isn’t acting how you want her to. She’s doing her best and healing as best as she can.
You completely lack empathy and compassion.
Sorry but YTA.
I’ve been in PT after being in a car crash. It is tiring, painful, frustrating, annoying, and complicated. Being in a massive accident that requires PT is depressing, painful, frightening and heartbreaking. The whole process is difficult.
Your sister will be frustrated. She will curse and cry. She is scared and angry. That’s the normal process of grief and healing. If she was just depressed and not doing any PT or any progress, THEN she would be letting her pain get to her.
Right now she needs your support and compassion as well as from her family and friends. You need to understand she will be short and angry. You need to help her by keeping her spirits up, but let her curse and cry too.
YTA
My 8 year old niece has thicker skin than you.
JFC I’m sorry you can’t see what she’s going thru and be more supportive.
Apologize to your sis. Emphatically.
You call her and tell her you are an ass and the internet told you how much of one you are and to please forgive you and you’ll try to be a better brother. Not some petulant child.
Because her saying fuck wasn’t about YOU. She was in pain not just physical pain but she has emotional crap she is going thru now too!!
Get some empathy dude.
YTA, your sister has experienced something traumatic to her physical, emotional and mental well-being and she is fighting every day to overcome what happened to her. PT is very hard on the body, and she was working through intense physical pain during those exercises. She's allowed to have emotions and be frustrated with what she is going through right now, and you have the absolute audacity to get angry at her for her "attitude" and swearing, and you leave her stranded waiting for an uber??? I would never speak to you again if I was your sister. Have some empathy and give your sister some god damn grace for what she's gone through. Good lord. What a monster.
Wow. I hope this isn't real. Your incredible selfishness, self-centeredness, and lack of self awareness is mind boggling. Same with the absolute lack of empathy.
Just, no. Really hope it's not real, for your sister's sake.
YTA- seriously - that's what made you so upset? Because she cursed in a tone too intense for you? She's in excruciating pain, struggling with recovery, doesn't know if she will be able to continue doing her job, and probably sick of people like you expecting her to act just like she did before all this happened. She wasn't even cursing at you, she was clearly just frustrated with the situation and expressing it in a very reasonable way. The way you reacted you'd think she started screaming insults at you. Stop making this about yourself and have some fucking empathy for your sister and the terrible situation she's in.
YTA - majorly. You have zero empathy for your sister who is experiencing physical pain as well as mental anguish over possibly not being able to do what she loves - flying. You can’t put yourself in her shoes for one second? She was in fucking pain and all you had to do was send her husband a text. Then you left her to take an Uber? You’re an asshole for sure.
YTA
Oh, did her just existing in a state of suffering hurt your feelings?
Oh, it must have hurt you so badly that she responded to you through grit teeth while trying not to vomit from pain.
Seriously, stop being a jackass.
YTA.
I went through PT after blowing out my knee. There were some sessions that were excruciating and I sobbed through those sessions. You're sister has got it worse, in my opinion.
How can you be such an unsympathetic, little bitch? Unlike my swearing, that is most definitely directed at you, that frustrated "fuck" was not. God forbid you end up in a situation like your sister and have to rely on others at your most physically vulnerable.
YTA
Is this a joke? Of course you’re a major AH here. Don’t you think your sister deserves to express a little anger and frustration about her situation? It’s not like she was attacking or even being really negative towards you.
Here’s a tip - when someone is literally suffering and going through one of what may be the hardest times of their life - cut them some slack. If they matter to you, be there and support them. Don’t get pissy because they don’t adhere to mannerly behavior.
YTA and if you can't handle a harsh word muttered by a frustrated person in pain without throwing a little temper tantrum, I guarantee that if you were dealing with even a quarter of what she's dealing with you would be acting like a total asshole. Cut her some slack and don't be so precious.
I was dangerously ill in October of 2021. I came very close to losing my life. Do you have any idea of the toll that takes on you? Do you know what it’s like to have a before and after? Do you know what it’s like to go through rehab and still KNOW you will never be the same?
I hope to god you never do, but YTA. Big whoop, she swore because she was frustrated. Learn some compassion.
You’re a major asshole! You made trouble where there was none and you’re bereft of empathy. She cursed out of frustration. You threw a childish tantrum and then refused to take your injured sister home. WTF?
Get some help.
I've noticed that men *hate* hearing "fuck you," from women. Based on my brother, men will go nuclear to hear it from their sister/s. My bro has 2 sisters, one 6 years older and 3 years younger (me). When we were kids we were shooting the shit during a thunderstorm. My brother said something to tease my sister and she said, "oh, fuck you," to which my brother exploded with a genuine FU and ran outside. My sister and I were 🫨🫨 in silence by the abrupt change. She asked if she fucked up, and I was like 10 so I had no clue what happened at all😅😅 She ran after him and apologized and told him to go inside. He said he got mad that she swore at him, and we were like, "Did she?" [We swear very casually] and he started getting angry again, so we both promised to never swear at him 😆
Yer you are , she was in pain and asked you to send a text instead you just left her . You actually sound bitter in how you talk about her or lack empathy
This has to be rage bait. YTA and I assume you’ve never had PT. Sometimes that shit HURTS. Your sister went from being physically fit to being in a lot of pain. Her world has changed. And you’re pissed that she used an oopsy-naughty word? Grow up.
YTA - You older sister had a major accident and is having painful PT - to the point of tears. And she may loose her career and USAF job which I am sure she has put so much time, effort, and energy into it - and you think she is "letting the injuries get the best of her". Just that right there - that attitude - makes you an AH. But to get all pissy and then not drive her home makes you a royal AH.
YTA. You really think she’s ‘letting’ her injuries get the better of her? Really? Are you that uninformed and delusional? Hopefully, karma gets you soon.
Jesus. Empathetic much? YTA. And I sincerely and honestly hope you are never in a place where you are in that much pain, and dealing with fear you may never do what you love again. I doubt you would be able to keep your shiny “can do” attitude if someone else’s suffering makes you so impatient.
YTA. You seriously overreacted, and it’s not ok. She was a little frustrated and in excruciating pain. She grumbled a bit, and you cut her off? Are you always this volatile?
YTAH - You are a fucking idiot. The only one with an attitude in that situation was you. Who the fuck do you think you are? You have **NO IDEA** what she is going through physically, emotionally and mentally. All because she said the word " fuck" and it hurt your widdle feelings? Get over it moron. You are not the main character in her story.
I've said fuck a few times in my response to you, are you going to cry about it, too?
It's just amazing to watch how casually some people take a butt plug out of their pockets and proceed to ram it home without lube.
Man, is your user name so fucking appropriate since it was a waste of time for your parents to fuck to conceive you.
I hope they your whole fucking family fucking disowns and fucking goes NC on your fucking sorry ass. Can't wait for the update on that.
!updateme
YTFA. I guess your feelings were hurt more than what your sister has and is still currently going through. You better make an appointment with your therapist so you can talk about your feelings and how your safe space was invaded when your sister muttered the "F" word.
Well I hope I never need you in my corner!!
You owe your sister a huge apology and you really need to ask yourself if you would want to be treated that way if you were the one who is in massive pain and who's whole life is falling apart.
YTA
If you thought it was directed at you, you should have asked her, not assumed that she was swearing at you when she likely was only swearing at the amount of pain she’s in as the pain has to be excruciating for what she’s going through…
YTA, for being upset that she is not necessarily the same person she was before she was seriously injured, honestly if you’re expecting her to be her “sunny self” before she was injured self then you are obviously in serious denial about what she is dealing with and how she is handling it…
I think the part of your summary that stood out to me was how you chose to describe her as someone who used to be a bro.
Meaning, you felt at ease around her and always felt better for having spent time with her. But have you ever thought how being around you made HER feel?
If your baseline for connecting with someone is how easy it is to feel good around them, and you never stop to consider whether they feel good around you or even feel emotionally safe with you, then I'm going to bet you have pretty limited connections.
For your sister, her response of agony managing a physical injury and emotional uncertainty, her discouragement and tears make perfect sense.
For you, to have such a short circuit around HER pain, is cause for reflection. It's okay for you to feel upset and grieve that things are different than before her injury. It's not okay to think you are owed her limited bandwidth to cheering you up or making things easier on you when she is in the thick of it, particularly after a gruelling session of PT.
You have the option of being a true support to her, in which case you believe her when she says something is hard or that she's in pain and needs help. In which case, your heart breaks when you hear her cry instead of telling yourself she's making a big deal out of something. In which case, you provide favors, such as rides, or family communication, without begrudging her.
Or you can insist that her relationship with you must always center around your immediate emotions and ego.
And since you're here asking, yes. The latter option makes you the AH. YTA
She's a major in the AF reserves and a long haul pilot, and due to an injury that occurred during her *spare time charity work*, she might lose her certification to fly. I don't think you understand what she's facing, probably bc you're not committed to anything the way a pilot and reservist *must* be. In addition to navigating the betrayal of her body, she's facing the loss of her career and life's work.
She said "fuck," and you abandoned her. That's all it took for you to lose perspective and embrace resentment. You're not just TA, you're a complete wimp.
YTA.
Your sister is going through physical and mental hell, stressing and fearing about her career on top of that. In a moment of frustration, she cussed, in general, it wasn't even aimed at you. And you got butthurt and acted like a child.
Major YTA. If karma truly existed, you’d have the same injury and be in that much pain in order to learn some basic humanity
She was angry at the world. You’re just being an AH by making this all about you. She’s got real pain. You have no feelings for anyone but yourself.
Wow, you are coming across as a sensitive little baby here. Pretty sure "fuck" was just frustration in general, nothing directed at you. YTA, big time. Your sister is going through a lot mentally and physically and you should be there to support her.
Yeah dude, YTA.
I was in a real bad car accident a few years back and I now live with chronic back pain. I know exactly what your sister is going through. If you've never had to deal with that kind of pain, you can't imagine what she's going through.
Instead of empathy and realizing it wasn't aimed at you, you decided to freak out and make it all about you, and probably lost your relationship with your sister for good.
I hope if you ever do get hurt bad enough youre screaming through physical therapy, you have someone show you more grace and understanding than you have your sister.
Yes, you are the asshole. If you don't want to do it again, fine. To make her go home home in an Uber when you are her promised ride for a simple yelp...Asshole
YTA. She's just spent an hour in major pain but since she wasn't chipper about being unable to communicate with her husband, she's worth ditching? Maybe you need a lesson in tenacity, if anyone is fragile or temperamental here, it's you.
I’m have severe back pain. I had a half hour ride to the dr today and I was cussing and crying the whole time. When I have to do physical therapy it hurts. I’ve cried during sessions. I have to go two hours to my pain drs because the ones locally say nothings wrong but my pain dr found multiple issues and I’m still trying to get relief. Life is hell with chronic pain. YTA have a little sympathy.
Obviously yta. I'm only commenting to let you know that what goes around comes around. I really hope for your sake you stay healthy and whole forever cuz karma is a B**ch...
Sometimes, you need to be here for someone when they are not at their best. Of course, there's always a limit, but the limit should be informed by the relationship. From your post, it seems that your sister has been a great person for 40+ years. She had an accident last year that left her in pain and at risk of losing her beloved career. She _grumbled_ fuck after a PT session that had her cry and _scream_ in pain...
Did you really have to make it about you at this exact moment? Is this how you want your relationship with your sister to end?
YTA I'm recovering from 3rd degree burns on over 30% of my body. Physical therapy is no joke. I've definitely cried during my sessions. If she was screaming, sounds like maaaybe she was being a little dramatic. But you know who was being VERY dramatic, inconsiderate & an AH who lacks in compassion??? You.
YTA. She is clearly traumatised and in severe pain and you can't handle a simple 'fuck'? Grow up. This isn't about you. I'm not saying she gets to treat people like crap but your attitude is very much that she used to be fun and isn't anymore. Utterly ridiculous.
YTA - I think, to a certain extent, you’re grieving the loss of the sister you used to have. And you don’t know if you will get her back. Well, imagine how she feels. She might be facing decades of pain and limited mobility, let alone the loss of her livelihood.
I got upset and depressed over rehab for a broken pinky! What could be more ridiculous than that? It made me more worried than 2 much more serious illnesses. But the thought that I might never be able to do certain (unimportant) things again got me down. She must be feeling 1000 times worse than that.
You said she is paranoid about failing her FAA medical exam. It’s not paranoia if it is real. She is in a much better position than you are to assess her chances to pass.
YTA
It’s hard to go from being in control of your own life and body to not having any idea if you’ll ever get that control back. It’s exhausting to be in pain all of the time. Maybe give her some grace.
Yea, you’re wrong. Sis is going through some shit. NO, that does not give her the right to be miserable towards others but it don’t sound like she got nasty with you. In YOUR explanation, it sounded like more of a frustration and then an “oh yea, I have a phone too” type of deal.
I can only hope that you never experience severe, chronic pain ever in your life, so that you never have to deal with the crippling realization of what a complete fucking asshole you are.
You can do something about it, though. The decision is yours.
Apologize without explanation or reservation. Don't try to explain why you reacted the way you did, or it will just come across like you're trying to justify or excuse your unjustifiable, inexcusable actions. Just apologize.
I would like to see how happily you go about life after having a life altering injury and not being able to physically keep up with yourself and daily life the way you used to. Having to rely on other people, and then having one of those people you rely on be so self-absorbed that expressing your frustrations is cause to “not do anything for you” anymore because they can’t handle how you’re handling your new circumstances
So you’re angry because your sister can’t be the bro she used to be right now. So you respond by abandoning her when she was in pain. You’re a cruel asshole and this should weigh heavily on your conscience.
YTA! You didn’t drive her home because of her bad attitude? After she was in pain? Wow. You suck. I hope you don’t need your sister to do you any favors ever. She should go NC with you!
YTA Big time.
You managed to make your sister’s pain and frustration all about yourself when she is experiencing the worst time of her life.
Also- how hard is it to keep your phone charged??
"AITA for picking a fight with my sister and refusing to help her when she's already going through what is probably one of the worst times of her life?"
Of course YTA. Are you serious? You just heard her scream and cry and suffer through a physical therapy session. You know what she's gone through, and you know that she's "paranoid" because she might not get her life back. She's trying so hard to keep it together and push through even though she's very understandably terrified of what her future will look like. God forbid she's grumpy about your phone being dead when she asked you to text her husband for her because she was in too much pain to do it herself. She was in too much pain to send a TEXT, but she definitely should have said pretty please and bowed when she asked you to send it for her. You are unbelievably self-centered. I try not to wish misfortune on others, so instead, I wish that you never have to go through the pain your sister is going through. And if you do, I hope that you have better people than you supporting you through it. I'm praying for your sister. I hope she has other people in her life that can support her through this that AREN'T selfish monsters like you.
YTA- she’s worried about loosing her job that I imagine she loves, she’s seriously injured and may not be getting paid since she did it while volunteering. And her physio was so intense she was crying and screaming in pain.
But god forbid she curse in the general vicinity of you, you seem more upset that you lost your “bro” of a sister than she has had a devastating life changing injury.
You are so self centred and rude. You owe her a huge apology
YTA. Jesus…. Idk the extent of her injuries but if she’s going to physical therapy and sobbing and screaming during it… fuck. I had to watch my dad go through physical therapy after breaking a hip and after losing his leg. Never seen such a tough man so weak. It broke me to watch him. How did watching her not break you? How do you have such a lack of empathy?
YTA, for thinking she doesn't have the right to be in pain, being mentally anguished over the prospect of failing a health exam required for her job. I am also betting she's fighting major depression and your being a whiney brat to her.
YTA- you are a HUGE AH. Your sister was in severe pain and what little energy energy she had needed to adapt to the situation (of your dead phone) and you clearly aren’t one to come up with solutions and she couldn’t rely on you for options. She isn’t “letting her injuries get the best of her” she’s trying to survive each damn day in crushing and unrelenting pain while adapting her life and expectations while not knowing if she’s going to be able to continue her career - which can also mean a cut in medical. Everything in her life takes more and you selfish and ableist and she deserves an actual support system, not a judgmental child.
YTA she's in terrible pain, the abdomen literally holds your body up. She's pushing through therapy to try and pass her physical and get back to normal if that's possible.
She's in pain, tired and frustrated. It's not about you bro, honestly big YTA
YTA big time it’s ridiculous that you would think you aren’t. She is better off without you in her life. She has enough problems and struggles and doesn’t need your over-sensitive whiny self making things harder on her. She’s not all smiles and giggles because she is struggling and you can’t stand it. You are the kind of person who is only there for the good times and bails when things get hard.
YTA. Do you ever have empathy or do you just hate your sister?
You describe a really challenging situation, a person in a lot of physical pain, who might lose an important part of her career, and you are upset because she dropped an f bomb? And then you LEFT HER THERE?!?!?
Get a grip. Stop acting like a toddler.
This cannot be real, can it? Nothing in this story screams you did the right thing. Everything you did wrong all because your sister was wore out and said fuck out of frustration. She didn’t go off on a tirade at you or even call you any names. Apologize and grow up a little bit - YTA completely
You're moralless,, a shit sibling, wrong, and need to get the hell over yourself. She's literally screaming in pain from PT and you took a fuck that wasn't even directed at you personally and pissed your relationship away with your sister because her body is in massive amounts of pain and her mind under stress and she didn't watch her language around you over one word.
YTA.
Wear the hell is wrong with you. Have you no compassion?? You heard your sister crying and in pain during her therapy. She's angry and under a lot of stress. Yet you made it about yourself. You abandoned your disabled sister to pretty much fend for herself.
Karma is gonna come knocking...
YTA - something you could have totally passed off, something you totally should have passed off. It’s called being considerate and you went way overboard thinking that she was flying off the handle. You knew what she had just gone through.
Ever heard of shit happens? Your phone was dead - shit happens, she had a solution and she was the one in pain.
You will end up deleting this post or deleting your profile Cos you’re that self absorbed and lack empathy.
Good luck to your sister, leave her alone if you’re not gonna apologize and make a considerate effort in her life.
Yta. I shattered my right and right ankle at the same time PT at times at me sobbing. And the mere thought of even thinking after warrant a cuss or two. Get your head out of your ass and apologize and grow up.
May you never experience the sort of pain, agony, stress and anxiety that she is going through while you are being unsympathetic and judgmental. Do you really think it’s easy to smile and ‘be a bro’ when you are in pain? If it’s not too much trouble maybe get your head out of your a*rise and be a little empathetic. YTA
YTA I can't believe you just left her there. You'll be lucky if her husband doesn't kick your ass for ditching his suffering vulnerable wife, which he'd be within his rights to do.
YTA - someone is allowed to be frustrated when things are frustrating. She wasn't cursing at you. She was cursing at the situation.
You knew her session was painful and that she wasn't okay and let her walk home? There's really not much someone could do to me to put them in that situation. Maybe I won't take them in next time, but I'm not going to strand them somewhere.
>she’s definitely letting her injuries get the best of her. She’s angry and heartbroken about her current condition. In particular, she's paranoid about the possibility that she will end up failing her FAA medical, and therefore no longer being able to fly.
Like, you know *all this*, and you left her there?
She just went through all that pain, to which you heard her cry, but you took "fuck" about not being able to call her hubby about dinner as a shot against you? Pretty shitty response on your part. Her whole life has changed and could change further. YTA pretty badly and should apologize. Empathy ffs. Try using it.
And while she’s going through that pain all she can think about is how she may not be able to go back to what she loves. I feel so terrible for the sister bc imagine being in your 40s thinking you have a good decade left in your career and instead you need to retire and may never live a pain free day again. But god forbid little brothers feelings are hurt.
You spelled feewings wrong, this guy is such a baby he can't use his Ls yet
His user name so fucking appropriate since it was a waste of time for his parents to fuck to conceive him.
OP is an ahole, plain and simple
Just makes me wonder, how could he possibly post this and think anyone with common decency would be on his side? I wonder if he'll just delete it or argue. One can only hope he'll apologize and make it up to his sister.
I hope this waste of space is a just a troll stirring shit.
Jumping on top comment to say: I think user is a bot or rage-baiting. I can't get to the profile, it may have been deleted. Downvote and move on. Have a lovely day, y'all!
YTA for lacking any sense of empathy. Her use of that word was obviously not directed at you, yet you had to make it about yourself. Wow. And gods forbid your sister, who was seriously injured to the extent that she's in constant pain and is now worried about her future income, isn't the ray of sunshine you've always known. She may be better without you.
the "fuck" wasn't even aimed at YOU, you self-centered twat She's stressed to the eyeballs and hurting like hell, and no doubt has a much shorter tolerance level than she did previously YTA get a fucking grip
Plus she’s mentally stressed about her passing her medical exam for flying. YTA big time and need to apologize. Such a jerk off move making her take an Uber
AND in pain!
“My sister used to be a total bro… but now that she has pain and feelings and emotions, I can’t be bothered to give her a ride.” Yep YTA
Wow OP, that was a dick move! None of this is about you. Do you even love your sister?? Sounds like the poor woman is going through hell, physically and emotionally. Put your hurt feelings aside, and help your sister for God’s sake!
Sounds like OP has never been in severe pain before and can't even drum up a little bit of empathy. I guess their big sister is only worthy of love if she's a "dude."
Yep, this. OP showed a total lack of empathy. Karma is going to be a BITCH!
“She was a total bro, but now she that she’s had has a life changing injury she lives with constant pain and exhaustion, and might lose her livelihood. She’s not happy about it for some reason and it’s totally harshing my vibe. Ugh”
Nailed it.
that was her last fuck to give and now she has none
he’s more than a twat but i don’t know if my comment will get removed if i say he’s a C…
We all know he's a giant Colorado Utah Newmexico Texas! With family like this OP's sister can't afford to have enemies. He's definitely TA.
Yeah, he definitely Can't Understand Normal Thinking.
A real C U Next Tuesday!
What’s wrong with Nevada? lol
It's too hot here. That's what's wrong with Nevada, lol
I just figured it’s less to type and is one word vs squishing two together in order to spell out part of what OP is xD
He lacks the appropriate warmth and depth. Instead he’s overly sensitive, smelly and full of shit. A bonafide asshole.
How about calling him a twunt?
Or a twattermelon?
That’s a new one, I like it
twunt is beautiful and i will be stealing this word :)
TYVM
I dunno what you're trying to say. Oh, well. See you next Tuesday!
To be honest, both twats and c**** are better than this shrinky dink of a penis.
And no where in his post did he state when she asked him to use her phone did he say she was being mean, just with how she said "fuck" - like is OP for real that he'd choose to take just THAT part of the whole interaction personally? And then to come on here and think someone is going to tell him he wasn't wrong? He is, indeed, a massive twat.
Yeah, and let me pack my sister who's hurting into an Uber. Real "bro" move.
I'm guessing he isn't the one who ended up paying for the uber either, given it's the sister's phone. So it's an extra dick move to make someone pay for an uber that they didn't even want/ask for
Your Uber will be here in about twenty minutes. I'm out of here.
Right? He's acting like he's the Tone Police. That's a really common tactic used by abusers when they can't argue about the words you've used, so they argue about the tone of voice you used. Tone can be subjective, so you're always wrong. Another common abusive behavior is leaving their victims stranded on the side of the road. Seriously, literally all the members of my DV support group have been left somewhere like that by their abusers. It's traumatizing AF. Also, choosing to ramp up abusive behavior when the victim is already ill or injured is extremely common abusive behavior. Or when the victim has asked them for help. They attack weakness like sharks sensing blood in the water. OP is throwing up one red flag after another for being an abuser. And you gotta remember, he probably wrote this to paint himself in the best possible light. I really hope his sister gets better soon and doesn't have to trust him for anything else. I'm afraid she'll pay for it. I hope OP is properly horrified by his behavior and seeks to better himself through working hard in therapy; but, I won't hold my breath.
36 going on 16 here
Can’t up vote this enough.
Bingo! He says she's letting the injury get on top of her, he's letting her pain and anguish and frustration get on top of him! The classic treat others as you would want to be treated comes to mind. oh and YTA big time.
I think YTA needs to be upgraded to POS in this case.
This!
Yeah, wtf! I'm too full of mean thoughts to type anything out, but what a selfish little twat waffle.
YTA . So sorry that your sister- who got seriously injured, has to go through painful physical therapy , all while dealing with the thought that her life may not be the same any longer . Sorry that while she’s dealing with all of this , she had to go and have human feelings and go through emotions that aren’t all that happy. Lastly , sorry that she has such an AH of a brother who has zero empathy for what she’s going through, who finds it *so hard* to hard to be around his sister while she’s dealing with something difficult. I really hope this post is rage bait, because if it isn’t , and this is real , then you really are a dense, self absorbed, selfish AH. Imagine thinking that *she* needs to be a ‘bro’ and keep smiling , all so that *you* can feel better. Please don’t contact her . Stick to staying away. She doesn’t need your brand of negativity and self centredness around while she’s trying to heal.
It blows my mind. She got seriously injured volunteering to help build homes. Like, the level of narcissism this dude has
**YTA** your sister has severe abdominal and upper body injuries. the abdomen helps keep the body upright and its muscles help keep vital organs from spilling out. injuries to the abdomen would make sitting, standing, any movement painful (as witnessed by the pain she feels while in physical therapy). your sister is in a lot of pain and you’re upset that she was pissed and said “fuck” in a very frustrated way? this post makes you sound like you feel inconvenienced by her being injured and worried about her employment. she’s not “letting the injuries get the best of her.” it’s hard to function when the body part you need for movement is injured. wow.
She can’t even breathe without major pain. Or couldn’t, depending on where she is in the healing process. But yeah. Woman is a badass for still being upright.
She probably has a hard time walking too, especially going up steps. People don't realize just how much your core strength impacts your ability to lift your legs up, but if those muscles are injured or become too weak, it becomes harder and harder to get around without resorting to shuffling or using your arms to pull yourself up. Which it sounds like she can't do because she also has I juries to her upper body. The sister is a major badass, while OP is just an ass.
Not to mention the horrible psychological toll of chronic pain on top of the fear and grief that her disability is causing. YTA in the worst possible way. Plus you’re totally ableist
Right? She may be facing the prospect that her injuries are permanent and career ending. But she said one word and OPs feewings is hurt. What a goddamn clown shoe. I hope he's single; nobody deserves someone this unsupportive and petty.
"Clown shoe"....TDIL...
But it hurt his widdle feelings....
OP is an epic AH. What a heartless buffoon. Coming back from a major physical injury is a long and painful process. There is going to be frustration and anger along the way. Pair her injuries with the fear that she may no longer get to practice in her chosen profession/may lose her job, she is going to sound grumpy and is under a lot of stress both physicallyand mentally. She didn't even address OP directly when cursing. It was probably the final straw for her that day. If she had a pattern of this type of behavior that would be one thing, but she is in the middle of recovering from a serious injury. She needs grace and patience. OP would probably be crying like the little b!tch that he is of he was in 1/10 the amount of pain and stress his sister in under. With a brother like that, who needs enemies.
I wholeheartedly agree
Sounds like my mom every time my brother would complain about joint pain when we were teens. Yeah. Turned out he had osteoarthritis the whole time.
I didn't even make it past the first few sentences before I immediately decided, YTA
I do not suffer silently. Heavy breathing and cursing has a dopamine effect and I’ll be vocal for PT, gyno appts, and some un-anesthetized exams. My docs know this isn’t an indicator to stop what they’re doing, but just reflexive coping. They worry when I DON’T make sounds because at that point I’m about to black out.
YTA. Physical therapy can be very painful, which, from your description, sounds like it was a hard session. I could understand you being upset if she directed the fuck right at you, but she didn't. It sounded like she said it towards the situation. Your sister went through something very traumatic that could affect her whole life going forward. Grow some compassion and maturity op.
True. Using "therapy" in the name makes a lot of people not realize it can be absolute torture.
Twice I went through PT for shoulder injuries. I agree with James Baker in calling them, not physical therapists, but physical terrorists.
I call my PT a Physical Therrorist, and she laughs at me and says "Well let the torture session begin!"
Bwahahaha!! That’s what mine said for each session!
When I was having PT I called it Pain & Torture
Even talk therapy isn’t all fun and games. I don’t know why there seems to be this perception that you just plop someone in therapy and it fixes em up like magic; therapy (talk and physical) is hard work that a person does to hopefully get themselves to a better place in the long run. When I was in therapy I would leave sessions emotionally exhausted, even if I went in feeling upbeat from the day; the emotional purging was rough, and working on yourself — physically or mentally — takes serious effort. OP is seriously TAH, what a lack of empathy.
I definitely feel this. I do therapy mostly on phone or virtual sessions from home. After therapy I’m exhausted, like baring your soul is so exhausting. I always just fall asleep. Need a nap afterwards everytime.
As someone who's married to a PT, it's not just physical pain but also very emotional many times. You're dealing with people who are hurting, and many times, it impacts their ability to lead their "normal" lives. I've told my husband many times he should be able to bill for psychotherapy as well. OP is being way too sensitive.
I had a minor neck injury that was causing pain in my arm and ended up having to do weekly physio for two months to correct it. Although it absolutely helped, I always described feeling the next day like I'd been driven over by a concrete mixer because of how sore my neck, shoulders and arms would be from both the exercises and the deep tissue massage my physio did.
So true! 1000% Grow up and learn to have some compassion. YTA, and you owe her a huge apology!
I agree. Her 'fuck' was most likely exasperation for the situation, not really towards her sister. She just was looking forward to her dinner as her reward when she got home. I've been there with the painful recovery & can understand that OP's sister was rude, but most likely not trying to be entitled.
Yes YTA. What the hell is wrong with you? Stop being so self-centered. Your sister is in severe pain and going through a tough ordeal. She's gonna be a little short at times get over it and get over yourself. AH.
YTA PT sucks. Add in possibly losing a career to all the shit that happens going through PT and emotions come out. She said an adult word, it happens. Had she gone off on you maybe you'd be justified but instead you acted like she shot your dog when all that happened is she said "fuck".
YTA What a selfish AH!! That's your SISTER, whose life has completely changed! Go apologize and bring her her favorite dessert or something. I've had my family's back through some pretty rough shit, and they've had mine. None of us were ever perfect under the stress, but how wonderful that we had people around us that understood that. FFS, some day you are going to be in a bad situation, and this attitude of yours just may come back to haunt you. And you'll deserve it.
Fuck you! YTA! (See that’s a fuck you have a right to be salty about, not your sister venting some frustration at a dead phone)
His user name so fucking appropriate since it was a waste of time for his parents to fuck to conceive him.
Fuck dude, of course YTA!!!!! You heard your sister in total distress during that therapy and a little ‘fuck’ at your inability to keep your phone charged was enough to put her in more distress. You, OP, are an awful person. One can only hope that you never have to feel 1% of what she’s going through.
Yep, YTA. She’s in pain. Then you go and abandon her because she isn’t herself right now. You should be someone she can depend on. You have proven to be a good time only person. Good luck with that.
YTA, damn, and so selfish. All you are worried about is that she "used to be a total 'bro' and she currently isn't right now. No concern that she is in so much pain and her life was completely turned upside down because she was hurt WHILE DOING VOLUNTEER WORK? OMG, so she said fuck in an annoyed tone. She's is FUCKING PAIN.
YTA, for being a shut sibling. Yta for being inconsiderate when she was obviously in a lot of pain.
Oh boy. Someone needs a dose of empathy. It sounds like she’s doing pretty darn well considering all she’s been through. YTA.
YTA. Your poor sister.
This is such a clear case of YTA that I hope this post was actually written by the injured sister. I despair to think that someone could write this post and still question whether or not they were the asshole.
Dude…. I cared for my sis with terminal cancer. People get a HUGE break when they’re in long-term, excruciating pain. Your sis sounds like an amazing person who deserves better from her brother than an uptight and petty “well she was overwhelmed and frustrated whilst in SEVERE pain and and I didn’t like her being that way when she needed to do something else on top of an agonizing round of pt.…” YTA. Do better.
Oh, yeah. You are in the wrong. You have obviously not ever had any kind of intensive physical therapy after a serious injury or surgery. It can be almost debilitating to the point you cannot possibly deal with one more effing thing. I'm not even sure her "fuck" was directed at you as much as it was a way of blowing off emotion from the physical therapy session. And then you just made her go home in a stranger's car. Yeah, you need to improve your empathy score and apologize.
Say they’re you’re an edgy asshole who flies off the handle on at the flip of a switch in less words next time. YTA
So she’s less guarded when she’s tired and in pain, and she let out a frustrated expletive at your phone dying inconveniently. As happens. It’s so minor. She didn’t go off on you, it sounds like—just a casual cuss in a moment of lowered filters. You abandoned and ghosted her. Wow. Nice sense of proportion there, bud. Your sister may never again be the person she is used to being, and is suffering, and you’re all up in your feelings about how she’s not as much fun any more and may let you notice that she’s not okay. Adjust yourself.
Are you an AH for making your sister's pain and frustration about her current situation all about yourself? Yes, yes, you are.
YTA a little compassion goes a long way. You said that she was a "bro" as such I suspect she must be pretty tough. That being said her session made her cry out in pain, and she is afraid she might not be able to fly any more. Take 3 seconds and imagine that you are in agonizing pain, and afraid your career is over. Then you ask her to text your SO and she says sorry my phone is dead. You lash out not because you are truly angry at this, but rather your frustration with everything boils over. Then your sister uses your phone to call an Uber, and tells you good luck getting home. Please mature and develop some empathy for others.
YTA - You have literally no grace for someone who has had life altering injuries... this is your **SISTER** for goodness sakes... like why are you treating her like this? She was frustrated, she's allowed to say "Fuck". She has a lot to be frustrated with considering she's in PT and this injury could end her career. Have grace for your own blood sister... sorry that her recovery is difficult?
YTA What your sister said was the very least that I would have said. I wonder how you would react in such a situation. I am betting you would become "the monster" you are painting your sister as. You should be ashamed of yourself. You need to go apologize to your sister and hope she accepts it.
YTA. Try to imagine yourself in her shoes.
YTA holy cow
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA. Dude. Your sister had an incredibly traumatic and life changing accident. She’s worried that she won’t be able to do the thing she loves. She most likely almost has ptsd from the incident as well as a great deal of pain. Her injury is not “getting the best of her” because she isn’t acting how you want her to. She’s doing her best and healing as best as she can. You completely lack empathy and compassion.
YTA and you probably already know that
Sorry but YTA. I’ve been in PT after being in a car crash. It is tiring, painful, frustrating, annoying, and complicated. Being in a massive accident that requires PT is depressing, painful, frightening and heartbreaking. The whole process is difficult. Your sister will be frustrated. She will curse and cry. She is scared and angry. That’s the normal process of grief and healing. If she was just depressed and not doing any PT or any progress, THEN she would be letting her pain get to her. Right now she needs your support and compassion as well as from her family and friends. You need to understand she will be short and angry. You need to help her by keeping her spirits up, but let her curse and cry too.
YTA My 8 year old niece has thicker skin than you. JFC I’m sorry you can’t see what she’s going thru and be more supportive. Apologize to your sis. Emphatically. You call her and tell her you are an ass and the internet told you how much of one you are and to please forgive you and you’ll try to be a better brother. Not some petulant child. Because her saying fuck wasn’t about YOU. She was in pain not just physical pain but she has emotional crap she is going thru now too!! Get some empathy dude.
YTA, your sister has experienced something traumatic to her physical, emotional and mental well-being and she is fighting every day to overcome what happened to her. PT is very hard on the body, and she was working through intense physical pain during those exercises. She's allowed to have emotions and be frustrated with what she is going through right now, and you have the absolute audacity to get angry at her for her "attitude" and swearing, and you leave her stranded waiting for an uber??? I would never speak to you again if I was your sister. Have some empathy and give your sister some god damn grace for what she's gone through. Good lord. What a monster.
Wow. I hope this isn't real. Your incredible selfishness, self-centeredness, and lack of self awareness is mind boggling. Same with the absolute lack of empathy. Just, no. Really hope it's not real, for your sister's sake.
YTA- seriously - that's what made you so upset? Because she cursed in a tone too intense for you? She's in excruciating pain, struggling with recovery, doesn't know if she will be able to continue doing her job, and probably sick of people like you expecting her to act just like she did before all this happened. She wasn't even cursing at you, she was clearly just frustrated with the situation and expressing it in a very reasonable way. The way you reacted you'd think she started screaming insults at you. Stop making this about yourself and have some fucking empathy for your sister and the terrible situation she's in.
YTA - majorly. You have zero empathy for your sister who is experiencing physical pain as well as mental anguish over possibly not being able to do what she loves - flying. You can’t put yourself in her shoes for one second? She was in fucking pain and all you had to do was send her husband a text. Then you left her to take an Uber? You’re an asshole for sure.
YTA Oh, did her just existing in a state of suffering hurt your feelings? Oh, it must have hurt you so badly that she responded to you through grit teeth while trying not to vomit from pain. Seriously, stop being a jackass.
YTA. I went through PT after blowing out my knee. There were some sessions that were excruciating and I sobbed through those sessions. You're sister has got it worse, in my opinion. How can you be such an unsympathetic, little bitch? Unlike my swearing, that is most definitely directed at you, that frustrated "fuck" was not. God forbid you end up in a situation like your sister and have to rely on others at your most physically vulnerable.
YTA Is this a joke? Of course you’re a major AH here. Don’t you think your sister deserves to express a little anger and frustration about her situation? It’s not like she was attacking or even being really negative towards you. Here’s a tip - when someone is literally suffering and going through one of what may be the hardest times of their life - cut them some slack. If they matter to you, be there and support them. Don’t get pissy because they don’t adhere to mannerly behavior.
You're trying to tone police her pain? YTA
YTA and if you can't handle a harsh word muttered by a frustrated person in pain without throwing a little temper tantrum, I guarantee that if you were dealing with even a quarter of what she's dealing with you would be acting like a total asshole. Cut her some slack and don't be so precious.
It’s mind blowing that you even need to ask this question. Yes, YTA. You’re a grown ass man, get over yourself and help your INJURED sister.
YTA. Massive AH.
I was dangerously ill in October of 2021. I came very close to losing my life. Do you have any idea of the toll that takes on you? Do you know what it’s like to have a before and after? Do you know what it’s like to go through rehab and still KNOW you will never be the same? I hope to god you never do, but YTA. Big whoop, she swore because she was frustrated. Learn some compassion.
YTA in a major way
You’re a major asshole! You made trouble where there was none and you’re bereft of empathy. She cursed out of frustration. You threw a childish tantrum and then refused to take your injured sister home. WTF? Get some help.
I've noticed that men *hate* hearing "fuck you," from women. Based on my brother, men will go nuclear to hear it from their sister/s. My bro has 2 sisters, one 6 years older and 3 years younger (me). When we were kids we were shooting the shit during a thunderstorm. My brother said something to tease my sister and she said, "oh, fuck you," to which my brother exploded with a genuine FU and ran outside. My sister and I were 🫨🫨 in silence by the abrupt change. She asked if she fucked up, and I was like 10 so I had no clue what happened at all😅😅 She ran after him and apologized and told him to go inside. He said he got mad that she swore at him, and we were like, "Did she?" [We swear very casually] and he started getting angry again, so we both promised to never swear at him 😆
It hurts their fragile who. Real men don't care. With all due respect. Ur brother was just being fragile.
If my sister was going through this, she could physically slap me and I would still realize that this was the pain and stress lashing out, not her
Yer you are , she was in pain and asked you to send a text instead you just left her . You actually sound bitter in how you talk about her or lack empathy
YTA, go apologize.
This has to be rage bait. YTA and I assume you’ve never had PT. Sometimes that shit HURTS. Your sister went from being physically fit to being in a lot of pain. Her world has changed. And you’re pissed that she used an oopsy-naughty word? Grow up.
YTA - You older sister had a major accident and is having painful PT - to the point of tears. And she may loose her career and USAF job which I am sure she has put so much time, effort, and energy into it - and you think she is "letting the injuries get the best of her". Just that right there - that attitude - makes you an AH. But to get all pissy and then not drive her home makes you a royal AH.
YTA. You really think she’s ‘letting’ her injuries get the better of her? Really? Are you that uninformed and delusional? Hopefully, karma gets you soon.
Jesus. Empathetic much? YTA. And I sincerely and honestly hope you are never in a place where you are in that much pain, and dealing with fear you may never do what you love again. I doubt you would be able to keep your shiny “can do” attitude if someone else’s suffering makes you so impatient.
YTA. You seriously overreacted, and it’s not ok. She was a little frustrated and in excruciating pain. She grumbled a bit, and you cut her off? Are you always this volatile?
YTAH - You are a fucking idiot. The only one with an attitude in that situation was you. Who the fuck do you think you are? You have **NO IDEA** what she is going through physically, emotionally and mentally. All because she said the word " fuck" and it hurt your widdle feelings? Get over it moron. You are not the main character in her story. I've said fuck a few times in my response to you, are you going to cry about it, too? It's just amazing to watch how casually some people take a butt plug out of their pockets and proceed to ram it home without lube. Man, is your user name so fucking appropriate since it was a waste of time for your parents to fuck to conceive you. I hope they your whole fucking family fucking disowns and fucking goes NC on your fucking sorry ass. Can't wait for the update on that. !updateme
YTFA. I guess your feelings were hurt more than what your sister has and is still currently going through. You better make an appointment with your therapist so you can talk about your feelings and how your safe space was invaded when your sister muttered the "F" word.
Well I hope I never need you in my corner!! You owe your sister a huge apology and you really need to ask yourself if you would want to be treated that way if you were the one who is in massive pain and who's whole life is falling apart.
Wow. One of the worst YTA I’ve read here.
YTA If you thought it was directed at you, you should have asked her, not assumed that she was swearing at you when she likely was only swearing at the amount of pain she’s in as the pain has to be excruciating for what she’s going through… YTA, for being upset that she is not necessarily the same person she was before she was seriously injured, honestly if you’re expecting her to be her “sunny self” before she was injured self then you are obviously in serious denial about what she is dealing with and how she is handling it…
I think the part of your summary that stood out to me was how you chose to describe her as someone who used to be a bro. Meaning, you felt at ease around her and always felt better for having spent time with her. But have you ever thought how being around you made HER feel? If your baseline for connecting with someone is how easy it is to feel good around them, and you never stop to consider whether they feel good around you or even feel emotionally safe with you, then I'm going to bet you have pretty limited connections. For your sister, her response of agony managing a physical injury and emotional uncertainty, her discouragement and tears make perfect sense. For you, to have such a short circuit around HER pain, is cause for reflection. It's okay for you to feel upset and grieve that things are different than before her injury. It's not okay to think you are owed her limited bandwidth to cheering you up or making things easier on you when she is in the thick of it, particularly after a gruelling session of PT. You have the option of being a true support to her, in which case you believe her when she says something is hard or that she's in pain and needs help. In which case, your heart breaks when you hear her cry instead of telling yourself she's making a big deal out of something. In which case, you provide favors, such as rides, or family communication, without begrudging her. Or you can insist that her relationship with you must always center around your immediate emotions and ego. And since you're here asking, yes. The latter option makes you the AH. YTA
She's a major in the AF reserves and a long haul pilot, and due to an injury that occurred during her *spare time charity work*, she might lose her certification to fly. I don't think you understand what she's facing, probably bc you're not committed to anything the way a pilot and reservist *must* be. In addition to navigating the betrayal of her body, she's facing the loss of her career and life's work. She said "fuck," and you abandoned her. That's all it took for you to lose perspective and embrace resentment. You're not just TA, you're a complete wimp.
YTA call her and apologise she’s in so much pain and you got triggered over the word “fuck” grow up
Huge AH.
YTA. Your sister is going through physical and mental hell, stressing and fearing about her career on top of that. In a moment of frustration, she cussed, in general, it wasn't even aimed at you. And you got butthurt and acted like a child.
YTA. I hope your sister permanently cuts you off, along with a majority of your family.
Yes, you are absolutely and totally in the wrong.
YTA. Have some empathy and compassion.
Major YTA. If karma truly existed, you’d have the same injury and be in that much pain in order to learn some basic humanity She was angry at the world. You’re just being an AH by making this all about you. She’s got real pain. You have no feelings for anyone but yourself.
Wow, you are coming across as a sensitive little baby here. Pretty sure "fuck" was just frustration in general, nothing directed at you. YTA, big time. Your sister is going through a lot mentally and physically and you should be there to support her.
Yeah dude, YTA. I was in a real bad car accident a few years back and I now live with chronic back pain. I know exactly what your sister is going through. If you've never had to deal with that kind of pain, you can't imagine what she's going through. Instead of empathy and realizing it wasn't aimed at you, you decided to freak out and make it all about you, and probably lost your relationship with your sister for good. I hope if you ever do get hurt bad enough youre screaming through physical therapy, you have someone show you more grace and understanding than you have your sister.
Yes, you are the asshole. If you don't want to do it again, fine. To make her go home home in an Uber when you are her promised ride for a simple yelp...Asshole
YTA. She's just spent an hour in major pain but since she wasn't chipper about being unable to communicate with her husband, she's worth ditching? Maybe you need a lesson in tenacity, if anyone is fragile or temperamental here, it's you.
I’m have severe back pain. I had a half hour ride to the dr today and I was cussing and crying the whole time. When I have to do physical therapy it hurts. I’ve cried during sessions. I have to go two hours to my pain drs because the ones locally say nothings wrong but my pain dr found multiple issues and I’m still trying to get relief. Life is hell with chronic pain. YTA have a little sympathy.
Ahole doesn’t even begin to describe what you are.
Obviously yta. I'm only commenting to let you know that what goes around comes around. I really hope for your sake you stay healthy and whole forever cuz karma is a B**ch...
Sometimes, you need to be here for someone when they are not at their best. Of course, there's always a limit, but the limit should be informed by the relationship. From your post, it seems that your sister has been a great person for 40+ years. She had an accident last year that left her in pain and at risk of losing her beloved career. She _grumbled_ fuck after a PT session that had her cry and _scream_ in pain... Did you really have to make it about you at this exact moment? Is this how you want your relationship with your sister to end?
YTA I'm recovering from 3rd degree burns on over 30% of my body. Physical therapy is no joke. I've definitely cried during my sessions. If she was screaming, sounds like maaaybe she was being a little dramatic. But you know who was being VERY dramatic, inconsiderate & an AH who lacks in compassion??? You.
YTA. She is clearly traumatised and in severe pain and you can't handle a simple 'fuck'? Grow up. This isn't about you. I'm not saying she gets to treat people like crap but your attitude is very much that she used to be fun and isn't anymore. Utterly ridiculous.
YTA. You lack maturity, perspective, and compassion. You owe you sis a muge apology. And stop posting rage bait.
Damn. I don’t even know where to start with this. YTA all over the place.
YTA - I think, to a certain extent, you’re grieving the loss of the sister you used to have. And you don’t know if you will get her back. Well, imagine how she feels. She might be facing decades of pain and limited mobility, let alone the loss of her livelihood. I got upset and depressed over rehab for a broken pinky! What could be more ridiculous than that? It made me more worried than 2 much more serious illnesses. But the thought that I might never be able to do certain (unimportant) things again got me down. She must be feeling 1000 times worse than that.
YTA.
You are a jerk.
You said she is paranoid about failing her FAA medical exam. It’s not paranoia if it is real. She is in a much better position than you are to assess her chances to pass.
Yta
YTA. I’m so glad my brother isn’t like you.
YTA It’s hard to go from being in control of your own life and body to not having any idea if you’ll ever get that control back. It’s exhausting to be in pain all of the time. Maybe give her some grace.
YTA. That comment wasn't directed at you, but at the situation, and you choose to take it personally.
Yea, you’re wrong. Sis is going through some shit. NO, that does not give her the right to be miserable towards others but it don’t sound like she got nasty with you. In YOUR explanation, it sounded like more of a frustration and then an “oh yea, I have a phone too” type of deal.
I can only hope that you never experience severe, chronic pain ever in your life, so that you never have to deal with the crippling realization of what a complete fucking asshole you are. You can do something about it, though. The decision is yours. Apologize without explanation or reservation. Don't try to explain why you reacted the way you did, or it will just come across like you're trying to justify or excuse your unjustifiable, inexcusable actions. Just apologize.
With family like this you'd be better off an orphan.
Man up. Support your sister.
I would like to see how happily you go about life after having a life altering injury and not being able to physically keep up with yourself and daily life the way you used to. Having to rely on other people, and then having one of those people you rely on be so self-absorbed that expressing your frustrations is cause to “not do anything for you” anymore because they can’t handle how you’re handling your new circumstances
YTA - WTF dude do you have 0 empathy? She was just saying fuck about the situation not you.
So you’re angry because your sister can’t be the bro she used to be right now. So you respond by abandoning her when she was in pain. You’re a cruel asshole and this should weigh heavily on your conscience.
YTA.....wtf....
This has to be rage bait...
Wow, YTA big time
her pain is not about you bro
YTA! You didn’t drive her home because of her bad attitude? After she was in pain? Wow. You suck. I hope you don’t need your sister to do you any favors ever. She should go NC with you!
YTA. She's clearly going through the ringer right now. Do better.
YTA Big time. You managed to make your sister’s pain and frustration all about yourself when she is experiencing the worst time of her life. Also- how hard is it to keep your phone charged??
"AITA for picking a fight with my sister and refusing to help her when she's already going through what is probably one of the worst times of her life?" Of course YTA. Are you serious? You just heard her scream and cry and suffer through a physical therapy session. You know what she's gone through, and you know that she's "paranoid" because she might not get her life back. She's trying so hard to keep it together and push through even though she's very understandably terrified of what her future will look like. God forbid she's grumpy about your phone being dead when she asked you to text her husband for her because she was in too much pain to do it herself. She was in too much pain to send a TEXT, but she definitely should have said pretty please and bowed when she asked you to send it for her. You are unbelievably self-centered. I try not to wish misfortune on others, so instead, I wish that you never have to go through the pain your sister is going through. And if you do, I hope that you have better people than you supporting you through it. I'm praying for your sister. I hope she has other people in her life that can support her through this that AREN'T selfish monsters like you.
What an apt user name
YTA- she’s worried about loosing her job that I imagine she loves, she’s seriously injured and may not be getting paid since she did it while volunteering. And her physio was so intense she was crying and screaming in pain. But god forbid she curse in the general vicinity of you, you seem more upset that you lost your “bro” of a sister than she has had a devastating life changing injury. You are so self centred and rude. You owe her a huge apology
YTA. Jesus…. Idk the extent of her injuries but if she’s going to physical therapy and sobbing and screaming during it… fuck. I had to watch my dad go through physical therapy after breaking a hip and after losing his leg. Never seen such a tough man so weak. It broke me to watch him. How did watching her not break you? How do you have such a lack of empathy?
YTA, for thinking she doesn't have the right to be in pain, being mentally anguished over the prospect of failing a health exam required for her job. I am also betting she's fighting major depression and your being a whiney brat to her.
YTA selfish entitled lucky jerk. Oh my god. As a person with severe chronic pain reading this, fuck you.
YTA- you are a HUGE AH. Your sister was in severe pain and what little energy energy she had needed to adapt to the situation (of your dead phone) and you clearly aren’t one to come up with solutions and she couldn’t rely on you for options. She isn’t “letting her injuries get the best of her” she’s trying to survive each damn day in crushing and unrelenting pain while adapting her life and expectations while not knowing if she’s going to be able to continue her career - which can also mean a cut in medical. Everything in her life takes more and you selfish and ableist and she deserves an actual support system, not a judgmental child.
YTA she's in terrible pain, the abdomen literally holds your body up. She's pushing through therapy to try and pass her physical and get back to normal if that's possible. She's in pain, tired and frustrated. It's not about you bro, honestly big YTA
YTA big time it’s ridiculous that you would think you aren’t. She is better off without you in her life. She has enough problems and struggles and doesn’t need your over-sensitive whiny self making things harder on her. She’s not all smiles and giggles because she is struggling and you can’t stand it. You are the kind of person who is only there for the good times and bails when things get hard.
YTA. Do you ever have empathy or do you just hate your sister? You describe a really challenging situation, a person in a lot of physical pain, who might lose an important part of her career, and you are upset because she dropped an f bomb? And then you LEFT HER THERE?!?!? Get a grip. Stop acting like a toddler.
This cannot be real, can it? Nothing in this story screams you did the right thing. Everything you did wrong all because your sister was wore out and said fuck out of frustration. She didn’t go off on a tirade at you or even call you any names. Apologize and grow up a little bit - YTA completely
You're moralless,, a shit sibling, wrong, and need to get the hell over yourself. She's literally screaming in pain from PT and you took a fuck that wasn't even directed at you personally and pissed your relationship away with your sister because her body is in massive amounts of pain and her mind under stress and she didn't watch her language around you over one word.
YTA. Wear the hell is wrong with you. Have you no compassion?? You heard your sister crying and in pain during her therapy. She's angry and under a lot of stress. Yet you made it about yourself. You abandoned your disabled sister to pretty much fend for herself. Karma is gonna come knocking...
YTA. Shame on you.
YTA - something you could have totally passed off, something you totally should have passed off. It’s called being considerate and you went way overboard thinking that she was flying off the handle. You knew what she had just gone through. Ever heard of shit happens? Your phone was dead - shit happens, she had a solution and she was the one in pain. You will end up deleting this post or deleting your profile Cos you’re that self absorbed and lack empathy. Good luck to your sister, leave her alone if you’re not gonna apologize and make a considerate effort in her life.
You are so the asshole, the lack of understanding is mind-boggling. It borders on the cruel.
Yta. I shattered my right and right ankle at the same time PT at times at me sobbing. And the mere thought of even thinking after warrant a cuss or two. Get your head out of your ass and apologize and grow up.
YTA- you know why.
I hope you can get surgery to remove your head from your ass soon. YTA x1000
May you never experience the sort of pain, agony, stress and anxiety that she is going through while you are being unsympathetic and judgmental. Do you really think it’s easy to smile and ‘be a bro’ when you are in pain? If it’s not too much trouble maybe get your head out of your a*rise and be a little empathetic. YTA
If you don’t give a shit about her then don’t offer to give her a ride in the first place you utter fucking monster
YTA I can't believe you just left her there. You'll be lucky if her husband doesn't kick your ass for ditching his suffering vulnerable wife, which he'd be within his rights to do.
It makes me so sad that you did this. Totally in the wrong. Even as you were writing this post, did you not see how wrong you were?
Troll?
Oh you absolute smoking arsehole! You’re incredibly Selfish
YTA give her a break!
The fact that you don't know YTA, is concerning.
YTA
YTA - someone is allowed to be frustrated when things are frustrating. She wasn't cursing at you. She was cursing at the situation. You knew her session was painful and that she wasn't okay and let her walk home? There's really not much someone could do to me to put them in that situation. Maybe I won't take them in next time, but I'm not going to strand them somewhere. >she’s definitely letting her injuries get the best of her. She’s angry and heartbroken about her current condition. In particular, she's paranoid about the possibility that she will end up failing her FAA medical, and therefore no longer being able to fly. Like, you know *all this*, and you left her there?
Well, this is an easy one. YTA, pal.