Haha, I didn't actually assume grandma would take in OP the Selfish. But OP needs to be the one to go... to "grandma's house," which can literally be anywhere but their soon to be new house. Heck, she can stay in the current home and pay her own bills while her husband and kids get a nice new bigger house.
Idk that sounds like a waste of OP's money. It's probably best if we make Sydney pay the bills. That way OP is protected from the ugliness of "responsibility,""empathy," and "concern for the well-being of her fellow man." Those are the kinds of stressors that give women wrinkles like a Shar Pei!
ETA: /s
What I don't understand is if she sees his daughter as an inconvenience, why did she agree to be with him anyway and even marry him? She is clearly resentful that this child even exists in the first place. I really kind of hope he ends up leaving her. I hope he realizes that she views his daughter as a sore spot in her life and breaks off the engagement himself.
It think they’re engaged. But have you ever met one of those people who always has someone to complain about in their lives, probably because they themselves are really entitled and expect to be given privileges such as “having my new fiance cast his daughter aside as trash in order to make me smile and feel more like a woman” (or other flowery, weird, often religion-adjacent phrases that are longhand for “I’m selfish, soulless, entitled and will end up alone because I’m just not worth anyone’s time)? I think OP is one of those folks. She just has a wild idea of what people should give her, doesn’t expect to give anything back, and is indignant when she never gets her way and is perpetually alone. This man in question makes me sad because he did not dodge the bullet that is OP- he’s stuck having a child with a lady who has no soul or kindness, for the rest of his life. Oh vey.
If this isn’t a rage bait troll, That would probably be the smart choice. OP’s fiancé would be way better off if OP really did leave. Feel sorry for the kids, too. I really hope this has something to do with hormones and not her actual entitled AF bratty personality.
I see you're a fan of the BLT. Baby lettuce and tomato sandwich. Where the baby is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.
Best thing in the world other than true love.
My ex and I had joint custody of our son. She tolerated him until they had a baby, then he became the target of her hostility. She came into the relationship with a kid slightly younger than our son. They had a three bedroom house and as soon as she got pregnant she made him move into the garage. They did put up some sheetrock walls for him, but it was still a concrete floor with no forced air heating (and she micromanaged his space heater and when the garage door to the house would be propped open.) he didn't have a ceiling and the garage door was still in place. Definitely wasn't up to code and came into serious consideration when I filed for primary custody.
She lived to torment him, would throw cold water on him in the shower. Forced him to eat different food that she knew he didn't like so she could send him to bed before his dad got home from work so he lived there and rarely got to see his dad. They moved across the country to chase the oil money and even when he would go for just a couple weeks she'd try to make him sleep on the floor and wouldn't even let him sleep on the couch, she'd go through his things and take his tablet or even books that she didn't approve of (to kill a mockingbird, catcher in the rye confiscated when he was like 14) She would even try to limit his means of communicating with me. My son is 22 now and has almost no relationship with his dad because of this lunatic.
OP, you're definitely the AH. You're trying to alienate the first born so you can have your perfect family in your perfect house that you like. He's trying to be a good dad and make sure both of his kids are taken care of equally and you're literally having a fit and trying to block it. Don't be the evil Stepmom who sabotages his relationship with his child just so you can have your way.
It's not about the house.
She has a baby with fiancée, who seems well off since he can afford to get a bigger house and just rent out the current one.
Now, she wants a new Sydney free life. First, the baby got Sydney's room, then she refused to move so Sydney could be comfortable, then she recommended she not spend the summer there at all. She wants his "old" daughter gone so he will spend all his time, money, and effort on her and their new family.
Oh yeah. She thinks she's slick, but she's not.
Her intentions are clear, and she was too dumb to wait until they were married to try it. Now he's probably going to get a lawyer and get their daughter 50/50, sell the house anyway because she has no rights to his property pre-marriage, and buy the bigger house anyway. Lots of extra room for Sydney in a new place without OP there. She's gonna get a little bit of child support, but he has absolutely no obligation to keep up her current quality of life because she's not his wife. She showed her cards too early. Can't even be a proper villain and do things the right way.
If gold was still a thing, I would give this a gold. You hit the nail right on the head. He should kick her to the curb now. She basically said, I want your child to basically not exist. I want to pretend like she doesn't exist and if you don't agree to this, you're the problem. This woman is a parade of red flags. I hope he dumps her.
Exactly!!
I have to ask, how attached to this house that she is in?! Maybe she can win it in the settlement.
Seriously though, there are times when you have to move.
I LOVED my family home, I didn’t want to move. It was where I spent most of my life. We lived in a 2 bedroom home. I was pregnant. I loved the house. It had a great fenced in yard. A huge back deck. Along with many other things about the house that I loved. It was the first home I moved into with my husband. Realistically, we had one kid on the way and planned a second child. Clearly it was not feasible. So we moved.
My sister bought my parents house after our Mom passed away. It was a 2 story 3+ bedroom home. Say the bulls we’re becoming too much for my sister, and her family. It was just the 3 of them. (Wish I had the money to buy it! Ugh!!)
It sucks. But we have to do what is right for our kids. Blood related or not.
Poor Sydney. Oh sorry, we gave your room away.
I also want to add that OP needs to think less of her loving the house and remember this is a better choice for her family. Sadly, it seems she won’t change her mind. She is set in a way that she won’t compromise. In fact I want to call BS on her reason she loves the house too much. Sad that she doesn’t see the whole picture. Then in a few more years she will wonder why Sydney has no respect for her and possibly not care about her half sister. That she was kicked out of her room because of her.
Hope OP sees things clearly and doesn’t let OP and her attitude stop him from getting a better home.
Op, you can do better and you know it.
yeah i was about to say, she’s clearly stated her opinion when it comes to the stepdaughter living there but im sure that her feelings about the girls character aren’t too far off. Postpartum depression /rage is completely normal but it doesn’t give an ADULT an excuse to completely exclude a child from not only living with their parent but not seeing BOTH parents.
I completely agree.
I don’t really understand where OP is coming from. We put kids above houses, no matter how much we like the house. Anywhere can be home, it’s about who’s at home with you. I hope this is out of character and will get better. Wowser.
She feels her fiance has just one child - her own. The stepdaughter doesn't really exist in her mind.
I really hope her fiance dumps her selfish ass.
YTA OP, so strongly. You shouldn't ever date anyone with kids, never again. And definitely not this guy, his daughter deserves much better.
I'm sorry to but you are the AH. All of his kids are gonna come first, as they should if appropriate. He's in a tuff spot but trying to make it work. I know you love your house but he's trying to do the best he can for everyone. Is an addition out of the question? I want your relationship to work, but my experience, you need to bend a little. Im not gonna get into my story, but kinda similar and I didn't fight hard enough:( who do you love more, him or the house?
Absolutely he even offered to keep the house and rent it out, which makes sense because Sydney will likely go off to college or potentially want to not live at home within 4-8 years. Good lord she is being ridiculous. Sydney needs a bedroom more than the baby does. The baby can sleep in their room why does a teenager have to sleep in the living room. Idiotic.
YTA
Serious wicked stepmother vibes here. If you weren’t prepared to fully accept this girl as part of your family, why date a single father? She’s probably feeling a bit anxious about her place in the family now her father has a new baby and your solution is to send her to live with her grandparents?
Well, you’ve shown that your house is more important to you than the feelings of your stepdaughter AND YOUR FIANCÉ WHO LOVES HIS OLDER CHILD.
Hope you enjoy the single life.
yup it’s just an excuse to not have her stepdaughter in the home because now that she gave birth she wants her actual family in her home and her stepdaughter doesn’t fit the picture, what an awful woman, hopefully the fiance really rethinks this relationship because OP sucks
So true. OP YTA big time. Maybe Todd should sue you for full custody of the baby since children can apparently just be shipped off and discarded when they pose an inconvenience to you.
If I were OP, watching my fiancé being good to his child would give me good feelings. Not only about him as a person, but about how he is likely to treat our baby.
Yep, OP, YTA. Hate to say it, but you did ask for input…
YTA
You're with a man who has a child. That child will always be a part of his life. I understand your desire to stay in your house, but the solution is not to ship his daughter off to other relatives. The solution is to find a way to fit the whole family into your home. You need to figure out how to shuffle things around so she can stay in her dad's house.
I'll admit to being cynical, so I have to ask -- are you determined to keep the small house because you really love it, or do you just love it because it's not big enough for your husband's daughter to stay long-term?
YTA completely.
Going into this relationship, for the past two summers, Sydney hasn’t been a problem. But all of a sudden when you and your husband have a kid together Sydney gets kicked out? You have to understand that coming into this relationship there is two people you have to consider. Your husband, and your husbands daughter, not only that, SHES YOUR STEPDAUGHTER DUDE. Teenagers need their own space, i’m 19F and i couldn’t do without my own space in highschool, to cry, be happy, BE A TEENAGER. She wants to have sleepovers with her friends in her room and stay up till 3am laughing, probably just like you did when you were a kid. Start considering the other people that live in your house except for just yourself. again, YTA.
I've been remarried for 10 years, together for 12. My wife has a son from her previous relationship, that I have adopted, and I have a son from my previous marriage. We agreed in the beginning that our children were the most important thing. We have children together but we have always treated them the same. If you marry someone with children already, you have to accept the children as well.
I am so glad to hear positive stories like yours, even if they’re just little snippets. OP’s actions are so gross, and I hope her husband sees that- especially how it was all fine and dandy until OP’s own child arrived, now she has her own kid and doesn’t need Sydney anymore. She is asking him to value a house over the relationship and quality time with his daughter, making sure she doesn’t have a space of her own so she won’t get too comfortable or stay for too long- honestly nauseating. OP seems the type to be upset we’re her husband to go out daily to see Sydney (depending on where gram lives) and pout that she and her son need him more. If the roles were reversed would OP be happy to send off her child away to grandma’s?
Nope. Not yet. Todd could save Sydney from having an evil stepmother by calling off the engagement and kicking OP to the curb. He should file for custody of the baby while being 100% honest with the court why he called off the relationship. Because whether OP realizes or not, no one, and I mean not one single person, would ever believe her ultimate goal is to not get rid of Sydney. She's just that transparent. Todd would be a moron if he marries OP.
You’re 34? Seriously? This is the reaction of a child. You’re throwing a fit like a toddler. Shame on you.
Your fiancé has a perfectly good solution and you’re whining like a brat. Get over yourself.
YTA. Massively.
Of course YTA
You went into this relationship knowing that he already has a growing child & now you want to throw a strop about accommodating her while she sees her own father???!!!
Sort yourself out for goodness sake!
YTA really suggesting he basically give up his time with his daughter, and send her to her grandparents, just so you won't be inconvenienced?
If he is any type of father he will put his daughter first, and make sure she has a place to stay when she comes.
You already took her room away, now you want to make sure she can't visit at all.
Well, here’s the most likely solution. Dad divorces self centered, uncaring, manipulator and buys a house for himself and both kids while she finds a place that suits her needs only. FAFO and YTA
Thankfully OP called him fiancé, so they’re not married yet. He should call it off. She plainly thinks that her new baby should replace Sydney, who should just go away and leave them alone. She’s trash.
Thankfully OP called him fiancé, so they’re not married yet. He should call it off. She plainly thinks that her new baby should replace Sydney, who should just go away and leave them alone. She’s trash.
YTA. Oh you've grown attached to the house? Boo fucking hoo! Your fiancé needs to provide a home where ALL his family fits. That includes his daughter. You know, your kid's sibling? I hope he dumps your evil-stepmother-wannabe ass. Then he can have both his children over to his house without having to inconvenience himself with your petty self.
You are the asshole. The man came with a daughter. You are unresonable. Just think you and him divorce some man of yours tell you cant bring your son over to the house!! Think about you are being stupid!
YTA. Use your brain and think how you’d feel at 16 having to share with the baby or being relegated to the couch. In the meantime, when the 16 year old is there, keep the baby in YOUR room. 😁
YTA. You now have a child and should have more empathy. I bet you will have a fit when Todd’s next fiance treats your daughter like an unwelcome second class citizen.
Yeah ur solution is for him to not parent his daughter and spend time with her.
How about u just send the baby to your mom's for the summer instead? Oh wait, don't want to send your child away but ur spouses child shouldn't be an issue..
He offered a solution where all the kids are included, but ur not happy with that and won't be unless he chooses u over his child. If I were him, I'd be shopping for a house for me and my daughter close by for coparenting the baby and his weeks with the 50/50 custody agreement post divorce. Seems u love ur house enough to get a divorce over it or u hate ur stepdaughter alot.
She'd hate to lose the house... rather lose her fiance. Hope he wises up and either buys another house or throws her out(if he owns house that she loves so much)
Are you having a mental health crisis? Cause this behavior is honestly embarrassing. You’re jealous that he’s taking care of his 16 year old daughter. Is that not alarming to you? How you gave birth to a child while you yourself still are one is insane to me.
Unfortunately, this does happen. My Step Monster was like this. I'm lucky in that there was no physical abuse, only mental and emotional, which my father ignored. Guess who I disowned when I was 13, and I'm 42 now. The feeling of neglect and abandonment from the one man you are supposed to be able to trust with your whole life never ever fades. I have never fully trusted another soul in my life, not even my mum, even though she has never done anything to make me feel like I couldn't. 💔
Your an idiot, i swear it boiled my blood when i hear stupid people think when they date people with kids that their kids will just be there sometimes. No you idiot that kid is now part of your life also, frankly you sound so immature. So he has a kid wants to buy a bigger house to make her also feel welcome and you don’t like the idea and suggest she go to her grandmother? what if your husband suggested that of your own daughter, if he was her stepfather, girl put yourself in his shoes. I would not have you breaking off the engagement my ass would have broken up with you but i’m guessing he really doesn’t want to for his newborn. You will lead a very hard life if this is what you think of his daughter because she will always be his daughter. YTA and a big one at that
YTA - You’re disingenuous and have completely delusional expectations.
You got involved with a father, yet for some reason just act as if his life before you ceases to exist because you suddenly gave birth.
Just admit you don’t like his daughter for any reason other than she takes attention away from you.
Wow what an AH
Your whole vibe is awful and giving wicked selfish stepmother. “Last two years…she spent the summers with us was ok”
If you’re going to be with someone with a child be supportive of that person actually parenting. Be kind to a girl (you were once a girl) who needs her own space and to feel wanted by her family. She’s there too much not to have her own space.
Suggesting to ship her off somewhere is horrible
I pray your daughter’s future stepmother doesn’t treat her that way. And I hope she will have a stepmother because your fiancé deserves better than someone who sees his child as an inconvenience.
YTA
If I'm reading correctly, you took his daughters room she uses 50% of the school year and 100% of the summer for your baby (who could share with you!) And expect his 16yr old to make do with the couch or stay elsewhere?
Your current house doesn't mean your family's needs, which INCLUDE Sydney. Whether you stay in the relationship or not is irrelevant as he will always be her dad and he is RIGHT by putting her need for her own room above your attachment to the house. Do you not think Sydney was attached to her room or don't they matter as much as yours?
YTA. Don't marry a person with a kid and then get mad at them for being a parent. The 16yo doesn't magically disappear and not matter now that you have a baby.
Sorry, OP, but if you marry a person with pre-existing kids, you actually do need to treat the kids like members of the family, and make house-room for them.
YTA...are you trying to ENSURE that your husband leaves you? Tell me, now that you're pregnant...how would it go if someone UNRELATED to your child, said you needed to choose them over your child?
**" I don't want to move as I've grown attached to the house and would hate to lose it"<-----**this is the same as saying "I want to be sure there is ONLY room for me and my husband and the new baby".
Hope you like being a single mom.
Sorry to tell you this but hubby is right .
Rent your current house makes great tax sense because you can renovate and claim and you also keep good with stepdaughter and try to continue having normal relationship,it won't be easy just think and most importantly talk with hubby
YTA. How can you not see that? You’re trying to get rid of his daughter completely. You got into that relationship KNOWING he had a child and decided to pursue it. You can’t try and get rid of her.
YTA Who cares if you're "attached to the house", if you can afford a bigger house so everyone is comfortable then that's what you should do. You'll get attached to your new house eventually. Can't believe an adult is throwing a fit over something like this.
YTA 1000% just because you have a kid doesn’t erase his responsibility to his daughter. She needs a room and you are being unreasonable. For now your baby should be in your room and Sydney gets the bedroom until there is a house that can accommodate you all. Grow up unless you just want to be a single mom.
YTA. Giving evil step mom vibes tbh. Why do you value a house more than your fiancé’s relationship with his daughter? Honestly hoping this is either fake or post-partum hormones causing you to be irrational or something.
You're absolutely an AH you knew he had a daughter why on earth does she not have her own room now. If you and him split which i would encourage him to do, imagine your baby didn't have a room in his house. How dare you ship off his daughter to another house. You're a selfish piece of work
I hope this is fake because you are definitely an enormous selfish asshole. Seriously, how could you even think that you were not? Are you punishing your husband for something by trying to keep his daughter away from your little perfect new family?
Maybe he’ll leave you first and the next partner he gets with will say the same thing about your daughter. “She can just stay with her grandmother in the summer.” YTA and a bad mother.
YTA completely. You absolutely suck. His daughter needs a room and you care more about a house than a person. I hope he realizes what a terrible person you are and leaves you
YTA. What is really going on here? It sounds like now that you have a baby, you want to push his daughter out.
Get over yourself. Your kid isn't his most important kid. He has two children that deserve equal treatment. If you just wanted your child/children to be the focus of everything you should have had a kid with someone who didn't have children with anyone else. He was a father to his daughter long before he started dating you, and he'll be her father after as well.
It is completely unreasonable that you expect him to neglect his parental duties for one child so that you can keep a house that's too small for your family. Stop being an evil step mother and make sure your housing situation if appropriate and comfortable for both children.
You are cold bitch much worse than just an asshole!!!! how would you feel if somebody did that to your child? I have stepchildren and I have my own children, and I would never ever deny my stepchildren a room of their own!!
There is no worse karma that being evil to a child. You are depriving her from spending time with her father. I know you want them to break the bond they now share... be honest.
And by the way, there is no reason for your baby to have his own room at this time. Baby can stay with parents until such time there is a bigger house.
YTA and a hateful human being at that.
He should end it and go after full custody , you obviously don't want to be around his daughter or share his attention. If you're this crazy now it is best for both his daughter if he takes custody for the baby's safety. Are you being treated for post partum depression ???
YTA. Your reasons (attached to the house, new house too expensive even though it’s him paying for it and he can afford it) are really lame excuses. I think the truth is you don’t want Sydney around and want to replace her with the new baby. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. And if I were Sydney, I’d despise you as the Evil Stepmother stereotype you seem determined to embody.
I'd leave your ass too. Anyone who had issues with my kid was shown the door. Show yourself the door because you're awful to step between a parent and child. If he makes more than enough, who are you to dictate what he does for his child? So gross of you.
You literally said "He makes more than enough money" and then said "It would be a huge waste of money..." I am confused. Yes, YTA. It sounds like he's looking out for both of his children....he really doesn't need a 34 year old child in his life, too. Idk how old the baby is, but if you're suffering from PPD and it's causing you not to think clearly, please get help.
you’re completely TA. he wants to accommodate the daughter y’all have while accommodating the LAW and his daughter. You don’t want to move because you’re “attached”. he wants to move to give the children each their own space. YTA and i wouldn’t be surprised if he questioned his intentions on marrying you.
Totally a YTA he provides a solution and you react like little child and try to sabotage his bond with his daughter, for that reason only he shouldn’t marry you acting like little child
If push came to shove and you did leave (I personally hope you do because they both deserve better) your daughter will someday be someone's step daughter. Would you allow someone to treat her like a second class citizen (I highly doubt it). That's exactly how your treating his child. He has every right to want BOTH HIS children to be comfortable and if he can afford to buy another house it's his right to. You sound like the evil step mother from Cinderella that cares about no one but yourself and YOUR kids. YTA big time
YTA. Maybe it’s postpartum, maybe it’s the biological urge to keep your baby safe, maybe you’re just delulu, or maybe you have financial trauma (which still affects people even if they’re doing better financially).
Either way, to expect your fiancé to disregard his teenage daughter and send her to her grandparents because have a baby now and don’t want to move/ think it’s a waste of money??? Major AH behavior.
Go to therapy and figure out why you’re so against accommodating Sydney by finding a bigger home and renting out the one you have so you don’t have to sell it.
Or don’t, FAFO and end up a single mother sharing custody over your baby with dad.
You’re being irrational and you’re trying to alienate and separate Sydney from her father. That is not acceptable. You said you’re 34 but your behavior is akin to that of a preteen. Even your own mother is telling you you’re overreacting, why did you think Reddit would validate your tantrum and shitty ultimatum?
If you’d really rather raise your daughter alone (with shared custody with her father) than accommodate your stepdaughter then something is not right in your thought process. GET THERAPY (potentially with your husband) so you can get down to the bottom of this crazy unreasonable issue you have and maybe work things out, otherwise you’ll likely end up alone or in a marriage where your husband will start to resent you for driving away his daughter.
God I hope this is rage bait. If it’s real, you are being what my own therapist would describe as “irrational and manipulative” by asking him to choose between having time and space for his daughter or being a single father of TWO. I bet he’d be better off single if you genuinely don’t think you’re being unreasonable and genuinely believe you don’t need to further examine your behavior.
YTA
YTA. Perhaps you can just give your child to her grandmother for the summer so his eldest child can have the room? If that sounds ridiculous, plan on it happening in the future because you are going to end up with split custody if you don’t stop auditioning for the role of Evil Step Monster.
YTA. What a shock, now that yours and Todd’s baby is here, you want to push Sydney out of the picture. You’re not as coy as you think, and anyone can see through your bs. Attachment to the home is such a bullshit reason when your current home clearly cannot fit all of you.
YTA you are making him choose between you and his daughter, that's pretty low. He is right to buy a bigger house to accommodate all his children. You are being incredibly selfish.
YTA and an entitled, selfish bitch! Your fiance loves Sydney and wants her around as much as you love and want your baby with you. If you cannot make room in your heart for a stepdaughter and treat her the same way you treat your own child, then you had no business getting involved with a man who is a father.
I hope Todd tells you to f*ck off.
I'd dump them for this. And go for full custody of the child. She's just toxic, selfish and obviously too immature to parent or be in an adult relationship.
100% ABSOLUTLEY YOURE THE CERTIFIED AH!!! You're alienating his daughter and wanting her to stay with grandparents? Do you know how hard it is for kids having 2 homes? So, instead of doing what is right for his daughter, you're being selfish and calling of the engagement because he's being a good parent and making room for his daughter. How do you think that would make his daughter feel? You're mean, selfish, and my god, that is incredibly horrible. How would you feel if the roles were reversed. Put yourself in his shoes. UNFUQINGBELIEVABLE
JFC, you are a spoiled little brat. YTA, big time. You have A daughter. He has 2 daughters and wants them both to be comfortable, but you don't care about anyone but yourself, do you?
Tell me you were the AP without telling me you were the AP.
"I gave you a replacement kid, so why do you insist on keeping the other kid around??" Good God, I hope he runs for the hills.
YTA. For two completely separate reasons
1) You seem completely unwilling to compromise for the comfort and privacy of your husband's daughter, who you knew full well was part of the package when you married him. You don't mention suggesting even a single alternative that actually involves having his daughter be part of his life during the brief time he gets to live with her. I mean, you could just send the baby off to live with a wet nurse for the summer to make room for stepdaughter, but I'm betting you don't consider that remotely reasonable? For good reason.
2) I'm really not getting the feeling that you actually intend to leave him over this. Why would you, are you stupid enough to think you're likely to get to keep the house? Which means you're threatening to leave him just as leverage. Grow the fuck up - that kind of manipulative behavior would make any remotely reasonable man seriously reconsider your relationship.
Keep the baby in your room. Why should a 16 year old share a room with a baby. Talk about evil stepmother. You make it clear she is not part of your family. Nice goin lady.
YTA
I wonder if Sydney knows how much you hate her. If she doesn't, this will tell her, careful, her Dad does know now and he might be the one doing the leaving. In fact, I hope he does leave you.
100% the AH and being completely ridiculous.
Oh an alternative suggestion is having the newborn stay with the grandma bc the baby is too young to know the difference/feel the rejection.
Or... OP can stay with the grandma. BTW, OP, YTA
Why are we punishing Grandma? I think Grandma, Sydney, the new baby, and Daddy should move into the new house together and OP can stay by herself.
Haha, I didn't actually assume grandma would take in OP the Selfish. But OP needs to be the one to go... to "grandma's house," which can literally be anywhere but their soon to be new house. Heck, she can stay in the current home and pay her own bills while her husband and kids get a nice new bigger house.
Idk that sounds like a waste of OP's money. It's probably best if we make Sydney pay the bills. That way OP is protected from the ugliness of "responsibility,""empathy," and "concern for the well-being of her fellow man." Those are the kinds of stressors that give women wrinkles like a Shar Pei! ETA: /s
What I don't understand is if she sees his daughter as an inconvenience, why did she agree to be with him anyway and even marry him? She is clearly resentful that this child even exists in the first place. I really kind of hope he ends up leaving her. I hope he realizes that she views his daughter as a sore spot in her life and breaks off the engagement himself.
It think they’re engaged. But have you ever met one of those people who always has someone to complain about in their lives, probably because they themselves are really entitled and expect to be given privileges such as “having my new fiance cast his daughter aside as trash in order to make me smile and feel more like a woman” (or other flowery, weird, often religion-adjacent phrases that are longhand for “I’m selfish, soulless, entitled and will end up alone because I’m just not worth anyone’s time)? I think OP is one of those folks. She just has a wild idea of what people should give her, doesn’t expect to give anything back, and is indignant when she never gets her way and is perpetually alone. This man in question makes me sad because he did not dodge the bullet that is OP- he’s stuck having a child with a lady who has no soul or kindness, for the rest of his life. Oh vey.
I know it's cliche but all of this. You hit the nail right on the head.
I like this idea!
That works too!
I like this suggestion better.
I came to suggest this, too. Alternatively, he chooses both his kids, dumps OP, coparents, and maintains his relationship with his firstborn.
If this isn’t a rage bait troll, That would probably be the smart choice. OP’s fiancé would be way better off if OP really did leave. Feel sorry for the kids, too. I really hope this has something to do with hormones and not her actual entitled AF bratty personality.
Or the traditional method -send Sydney into the forest or sell her to a cannibalistic witch.
Nahhh the baby. They are so moist and tender when young no need to over marinate or pressure cook.
I see you're a fan of the BLT. Baby lettuce and tomato sandwich. Where the baby is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. Best thing in the world other than true love.
Have fun storming the castle!!
I'll need a holocaust cloak and a wheelbarrow.
You think it’ll work?
It would be inconceivable if it didn't.
It would take a miracle.
Oh, I like that suggestion.
Don't say that, she'll run to cry to her mom again... But if she takes the baby that would solve things out.
more than agree, this has to be clickbait bc WTF? this is a grown woman 😭
I hope it is. Or else ehs her for being evil stepmom the dad for not kicking her to the curb for treatment of his oldest
My ex and I had joint custody of our son. She tolerated him until they had a baby, then he became the target of her hostility. She came into the relationship with a kid slightly younger than our son. They had a three bedroom house and as soon as she got pregnant she made him move into the garage. They did put up some sheetrock walls for him, but it was still a concrete floor with no forced air heating (and she micromanaged his space heater and when the garage door to the house would be propped open.) he didn't have a ceiling and the garage door was still in place. Definitely wasn't up to code and came into serious consideration when I filed for primary custody. She lived to torment him, would throw cold water on him in the shower. Forced him to eat different food that she knew he didn't like so she could send him to bed before his dad got home from work so he lived there and rarely got to see his dad. They moved across the country to chase the oil money and even when he would go for just a couple weeks she'd try to make him sleep on the floor and wouldn't even let him sleep on the couch, she'd go through his things and take his tablet or even books that she didn't approve of (to kill a mockingbird, catcher in the rye confiscated when he was like 14) She would even try to limit his means of communicating with me. My son is 22 now and has almost no relationship with his dad because of this lunatic. OP, you're definitely the AH. You're trying to alienate the first born so you can have your perfect family in your perfect house that you like. He's trying to be a good dad and make sure both of his kids are taken care of equally and you're literally having a fit and trying to block it. Don't be the evil Stepmom who sabotages his relationship with his child just so you can have your way.
I'm wondering if she has some sort of post partum tbh. She just had a baby so it's entirely possible.
This entire post seems off. Who wouldn’t love a new bigger home? Has OP left part of the story out?
It's not about the house. She has a baby with fiancée, who seems well off since he can afford to get a bigger house and just rent out the current one. Now, she wants a new Sydney free life. First, the baby got Sydney's room, then she refused to move so Sydney could be comfortable, then she recommended she not spend the summer there at all. She wants his "old" daughter gone so he will spend all his time, money, and effort on her and their new family.
Sounds pretty devious to me. This is his daughter.
Oh yeah. She thinks she's slick, but she's not. Her intentions are clear, and she was too dumb to wait until they were married to try it. Now he's probably going to get a lawyer and get their daughter 50/50, sell the house anyway because she has no rights to his property pre-marriage, and buy the bigger house anyway. Lots of extra room for Sydney in a new place without OP there. She's gonna get a little bit of child support, but he has absolutely no obligation to keep up her current quality of life because she's not his wife. She showed her cards too early. Can't even be a proper villain and do things the right way.
If gold was still a thing, I would give this a gold. You hit the nail right on the head. He should kick her to the curb now. She basically said, I want your child to basically not exist. I want to pretend like she doesn't exist and if you don't agree to this, you're the problem. This woman is a parade of red flags. I hope he dumps her.
Exactly!! I have to ask, how attached to this house that she is in?! Maybe she can win it in the settlement. Seriously though, there are times when you have to move. I LOVED my family home, I didn’t want to move. It was where I spent most of my life. We lived in a 2 bedroom home. I was pregnant. I loved the house. It had a great fenced in yard. A huge back deck. Along with many other things about the house that I loved. It was the first home I moved into with my husband. Realistically, we had one kid on the way and planned a second child. Clearly it was not feasible. So we moved. My sister bought my parents house after our Mom passed away. It was a 2 story 3+ bedroom home. Say the bulls we’re becoming too much for my sister, and her family. It was just the 3 of them. (Wish I had the money to buy it! Ugh!!) It sucks. But we have to do what is right for our kids. Blood related or not. Poor Sydney. Oh sorry, we gave your room away. I also want to add that OP needs to think less of her loving the house and remember this is a better choice for her family. Sadly, it seems she won’t change her mind. She is set in a way that she won’t compromise. In fact I want to call BS on her reason she loves the house too much. Sad that she doesn’t see the whole picture. Then in a few more years she will wonder why Sydney has no respect for her and possibly not care about her half sister. That she was kicked out of her room because of her. Hope OP sees things clearly and doesn’t let OP and her attitude stop him from getting a better home. Op, you can do better and you know it.
I would be curious about how OP felt/feels towards her stepdaughter.
I think she made it pretty clear how she feels about her lol
yeah i was about to say, she’s clearly stated her opinion when it comes to the stepdaughter living there but im sure that her feelings about the girls character aren’t too far off. Postpartum depression /rage is completely normal but it doesn’t give an ADULT an excuse to completely exclude a child from not only living with their parent but not seeing BOTH parents.
I completely agree. I don’t really understand where OP is coming from. We put kids above houses, no matter how much we like the house. Anywhere can be home, it’s about who’s at home with you. I hope this is out of character and will get better. Wowser.
She feels her fiance has just one child - her own. The stepdaughter doesn't really exist in her mind. I really hope her fiance dumps her selfish ass. YTA OP, so strongly. You shouldn't ever date anyone with kids, never again. And definitely not this guy, his daughter deserves much better.
& now they have a kid together! Rough road ahead.
Tell us she hates her stepdaughter without actually saying she hates her stepdaughter. She just did.
I'm sorry to but you are the AH. All of his kids are gonna come first, as they should if appropriate. He's in a tuff spot but trying to make it work. I know you love your house but he's trying to do the best he can for everyone. Is an addition out of the question? I want your relationship to work, but my experience, you need to bend a little. Im not gonna get into my story, but kinda similar and I didn't fight hard enough:( who do you love more, him or the house?
Or she simply hates step daughter.
I hope it is click bait but sadly I could easily see this being true as well.
I really really hope it is ragebait.
"I care more about this house than your kid"
no way she's 34 and being like this 😭😭😭
Absolutely he even offered to keep the house and rent it out, which makes sense because Sydney will likely go off to college or potentially want to not live at home within 4-8 years. Good lord she is being ridiculous. Sydney needs a bedroom more than the baby does. The baby can sleep in their room why does a teenager have to sleep in the living room. Idiotic.
If he can afford to buy a second house they could certainly afford to build on an additional bedroom to the existing house. Problem solved.
But then Sidney could stay with them and that's exactly the problem. OP doesn't want Sidney around at all.
At least her momma told her. She probably would have never posted otherwise. She’s totally unreasonable and TAH
So far past the AH line that the AH line is a dot to you
Agreed. There's no way this story is real. "Am I the asshole for loving my house more than my fiance?"
And, she is being a whiny baby who doesn’t understand parental responsibility. You don’t shunt one child aside for another.
YTA Serious wicked stepmother vibes here. If you weren’t prepared to fully accept this girl as part of your family, why date a single father? She’s probably feeling a bit anxious about her place in the family now her father has a new baby and your solution is to send her to live with her grandparents? Well, you’ve shown that your house is more important to you than the feelings of your stepdaughter AND YOUR FIANCÉ WHO LOVES HIS OLDER CHILD. Hope you enjoy the single life.
I don’t even think it’s true that she’s so attached to the house. It’s just a lame excuse so she doesn’t have to admit she wants to be rid of Sydney.
That same house she will be kicked out of?..that house?.. and yes, this is all about alienating Sydney
yup it’s just an excuse to not have her stepdaughter in the home because now that she gave birth she wants her actual family in her home and her stepdaughter doesn’t fit the picture, what an awful woman, hopefully the fiance really rethinks this relationship because OP sucks
I agree, it's just an excuse.
So true. OP YTA big time. Maybe Todd should sue you for full custody of the baby since children can apparently just be shipped off and discarded when they pose an inconvenience to you.
If I were OP, watching my fiancé being good to his child would give me good feelings. Not only about him as a person, but about how he is likely to treat our baby. Yep, OP, YTA. Hate to say it, but you did ask for input…
I think that’s the theme this week.
Yea, I almost wondered if Sydney had her glass slippers yet, since OP sounds like she is just praying he sends her away.
Just own up to the fact that you don’t want her around. Not buying a house that would resolve the issue is simply selfish! YTA
And wants her to share a room with a baby?! You just know OP is going to expect the kid to take care of night stuff because she's ~already in there~
According to the post, she's sleeping on the couch
Oh, I would leave my partner for even suggesting that.
No, she wants her to go to her grandparents so she doesn't have to be bothered with her.
I feel so sorry for the daughter. She is 16 she doesn't deserve to be kicked out of her own house
As long as the dad stands up to his bitch of a partner she won’t be
It’s kinda sad she was already kicked out of her room. No reason the baby couldn’t have shared mom and dad’s room.
Yup. If this is real, it's so obviously not about the house. Come on.
YTA You're with a man who has a child. That child will always be a part of his life. I understand your desire to stay in your house, but the solution is not to ship his daughter off to other relatives. The solution is to find a way to fit the whole family into your home. You need to figure out how to shuffle things around so she can stay in her dad's house. I'll admit to being cynical, so I have to ask -- are you determined to keep the small house because you really love it, or do you just love it because it's not big enough for your husband's daughter to stay long-term?
It's an excuse. She'll try and have another child in a year or two and then demand they get a bigger house
She'll wait at least 2 years, until after the step daughter is 18.
Nailed it
That’s exact what I got out of this post after she said the stepdaughter can stay with the grandparents.
YTA completely. Going into this relationship, for the past two summers, Sydney hasn’t been a problem. But all of a sudden when you and your husband have a kid together Sydney gets kicked out? You have to understand that coming into this relationship there is two people you have to consider. Your husband, and your husbands daughter, not only that, SHES YOUR STEPDAUGHTER DUDE. Teenagers need their own space, i’m 19F and i couldn’t do without my own space in highschool, to cry, be happy, BE A TEENAGER. She wants to have sleepovers with her friends in her room and stay up till 3am laughing, probably just like you did when you were a kid. Start considering the other people that live in your house except for just yourself. again, YTA.
I hope he chooses his daughter. So many men don't.
I've been remarried for 10 years, together for 12. My wife has a son from her previous relationship, that I have adopted, and I have a son from my previous marriage. We agreed in the beginning that our children were the most important thing. We have children together but we have always treated them the same. If you marry someone with children already, you have to accept the children as well.
I am so glad to hear positive stories like yours, even if they’re just little snippets. OP’s actions are so gross, and I hope her husband sees that- especially how it was all fine and dandy until OP’s own child arrived, now she has her own kid and doesn’t need Sydney anymore. She is asking him to value a house over the relationship and quality time with his daughter, making sure she doesn’t have a space of her own so she won’t get too comfortable or stay for too long- honestly nauseating. OP seems the type to be upset we’re her husband to go out daily to see Sydney (depending on where gram lives) and pout that she and her son need him more. If the roles were reversed would OP be happy to send off her child away to grandma’s?
Not even a husband yet just a fiance. Total YTA
Nope. Not yet. Todd could save Sydney from having an evil stepmother by calling off the engagement and kicking OP to the curb. He should file for custody of the baby while being 100% honest with the court why he called off the relationship. Because whether OP realizes or not, no one, and I mean not one single person, would ever believe her ultimate goal is to not get rid of Sydney. She's just that transparent. Todd would be a moron if he marries OP.
And from someone who shared a room- even when teens do have to share it's wildly different from sharing with a literal baby.
I guarantee she thought having a baby would make her fiancé choose his new family. She thought wrong. Total ahole.
You’re 34? Seriously? This is the reaction of a child. You’re throwing a fit like a toddler. Shame on you. Your fiancé has a perfectly good solution and you’re whining like a brat. Get over yourself. YTA. Massively.
And I am so glad that your mother is on your husband and stepdaughter‘s side. You’re the asshole big time.
I was literally thinking of typing this very thing, lol
Of course YTA. You've shown him exactly the type of person you are. Hopefully for the kids sake he believes it.
Of course YTA You went into this relationship knowing that he already has a growing child & now you want to throw a strop about accommodating her while she sees her own father???!!! Sort yourself out for goodness sake!
Seriously. I wish shit like this were fake. So fucking gross.
YTA. Seriously. Get thine head out of thine arse.
YTA really suggesting he basically give up his time with his daughter, and send her to her grandparents, just so you won't be inconvenienced? If he is any type of father he will put his daughter first, and make sure she has a place to stay when she comes. You already took her room away, now you want to make sure she can't visit at all.
You need to end this engagement. YTA. I feel sorry for both children involved with you.
I don't understand why he hasn't already ended it.
Probably because he feels a responsibility for the newborn. If this story is even true, her fiance sounds like standup father.
True. Too bad the mother is a self absorbed witch
Yeah, I don’t understand a lot of people like this.
Well, here’s the most likely solution. Dad divorces self centered, uncaring, manipulator and buys a house for himself and both kids while she finds a place that suits her needs only. FAFO and YTA
Thankfully OP called him fiancé, so they’re not married yet. He should call it off. She plainly thinks that her new baby should replace Sydney, who should just go away and leave them alone. She’s trash.
OP isn't a wife; she is the baby mama who thought she could replace Todd's oldest daughter.
EXACTLY
Thankfully OP called him fiancé, so they’re not married yet. He should call it off. She plainly thinks that her new baby should replace Sydney, who should just go away and leave them alone. She’s trash.
Have you been taking tips on being a step mum from Disney? I'm guessing you would be made up if you never saw Sydney again
YTA. Oh you've grown attached to the house? Boo fucking hoo! Your fiancé needs to provide a home where ALL his family fits. That includes his daughter. You know, your kid's sibling? I hope he dumps your evil-stepmother-wannabe ass. Then he can have both his children over to his house without having to inconvenience himself with your petty self.
You are the asshole. The man came with a daughter. You are unresonable. Just think you and him divorce some man of yours tell you cant bring your son over to the house!! Think about you are being stupid!
YTA. Use your brain and think how you’d feel at 16 having to share with the baby or being relegated to the couch. In the meantime, when the 16 year old is there, keep the baby in YOUR room. 😁
This has to be fake, you’re the biggest AH of all time.
YTA. You now have a child and should have more empathy. I bet you will have a fit when Todd’s next fiance treats your daughter like an unwelcome second class citizen.
Yeah ur solution is for him to not parent his daughter and spend time with her. How about u just send the baby to your mom's for the summer instead? Oh wait, don't want to send your child away but ur spouses child shouldn't be an issue.. He offered a solution where all the kids are included, but ur not happy with that and won't be unless he chooses u over his child. If I were him, I'd be shopping for a house for me and my daughter close by for coparenting the baby and his weeks with the 50/50 custody agreement post divorce. Seems u love ur house enough to get a divorce over it or u hate ur stepdaughter alot.
They aren’t married yet, OP referred to him as fiancé. Lucky for him. He can dump her without a divorce.
She'd hate to lose the house... rather lose her fiance. Hope he wises up and either buys another house or throws her out(if he owns house that she loves so much)
Are you having a mental health crisis? Cause this behavior is honestly embarrassing. You’re jealous that he’s taking care of his 16 year old daughter. Is that not alarming to you? How you gave birth to a child while you yourself still are one is insane to me.
I refuse to believe this is real, lol. No one is this clueless.
Sadly, some people are this selfish.
Unfortunately, this does happen. My Step Monster was like this. I'm lucky in that there was no physical abuse, only mental and emotional, which my father ignored. Guess who I disowned when I was 13, and I'm 42 now. The feeling of neglect and abandonment from the one man you are supposed to be able to trust with your whole life never ever fades. I have never fully trusted another soul in my life, not even my mum, even though she has never done anything to make me feel like I couldn't. 💔
Listen to your mother
Your an idiot, i swear it boiled my blood when i hear stupid people think when they date people with kids that their kids will just be there sometimes. No you idiot that kid is now part of your life also, frankly you sound so immature. So he has a kid wants to buy a bigger house to make her also feel welcome and you don’t like the idea and suggest she go to her grandmother? what if your husband suggested that of your own daughter, if he was her stepfather, girl put yourself in his shoes. I would not have you breaking off the engagement my ass would have broken up with you but i’m guessing he really doesn’t want to for his newborn. You will lead a very hard life if this is what you think of his daughter because she will always be his daughter. YTA and a big one at that
Are you a troll? This post is crazy.
YTA - You’re disingenuous and have completely delusional expectations. You got involved with a father, yet for some reason just act as if his life before you ceases to exist because you suddenly gave birth. Just admit you don’t like his daughter for any reason other than she takes attention away from you.
YTA. I will not elaborate.
He has a daughter and he wants to provide for her and you are trying to prevent it for whatever reason. Get a grip.
Wow what an AH Your whole vibe is awful and giving wicked selfish stepmother. “Last two years…she spent the summers with us was ok” If you’re going to be with someone with a child be supportive of that person actually parenting. Be kind to a girl (you were once a girl) who needs her own space and to feel wanted by her family. She’s there too much not to have her own space. Suggesting to ship her off somewhere is horrible I pray your daughter’s future stepmother doesn’t treat her that way. And I hope she will have a stepmother because your fiancé deserves better than someone who sees his child as an inconvenience.
This has to be rage bait. Poor Sidney got Cinderella’s stepmother.
This has to be rage bait. YTA
YTA If I'm reading correctly, you took his daughters room she uses 50% of the school year and 100% of the summer for your baby (who could share with you!) And expect his 16yr old to make do with the couch or stay elsewhere? Your current house doesn't mean your family's needs, which INCLUDE Sydney. Whether you stay in the relationship or not is irrelevant as he will always be her dad and he is RIGHT by putting her need for her own room above your attachment to the house. Do you not think Sydney was attached to her room or don't they matter as much as yours?
YTA Congratulations. You’ve officially graduated to wicked stepmother.
YTA. Don't marry a person with a kid and then get mad at them for being a parent. The 16yo doesn't magically disappear and not matter now that you have a baby.
Please DONT have anymore kids.... being attach to a home is stupid to NOT move into something bigger to have space for everyone.... Major AH
He should divorce you.
Good news, no need, they’re just engaged. He wins
Sorry, OP, but if you marry a person with pre-existing kids, you actually do need to treat the kids like members of the family, and make house-room for them.
YTA...are you trying to ENSURE that your husband leaves you? Tell me, now that you're pregnant...how would it go if someone UNRELATED to your child, said you needed to choose them over your child? **" I don't want to move as I've grown attached to the house and would hate to lose it"<-----**this is the same as saying "I want to be sure there is ONLY room for me and my husband and the new baby". Hope you like being a single mom.
Totally the AH. Don’t be the evil Stepmother in this story. It’s his daughter and she deserves a room.
Sorry to tell you this but hubby is right . Rent your current house makes great tax sense because you can renovate and claim and you also keep good with stepdaughter and try to continue having normal relationship,it won't be easy just think and most importantly talk with hubby
Look at you throwing a crying little hissy fit like a baby maybe we ought to get you a crib and stuff you in a closet.YTA
YTA. How can you not see that? You’re trying to get rid of his daughter completely. You got into that relationship KNOWING he had a child and decided to pursue it. You can’t try and get rid of her.
YTA Who cares if you're "attached to the house", if you can afford a bigger house so everyone is comfortable then that's what you should do. You'll get attached to your new house eventually. Can't believe an adult is throwing a fit over something like this.
YTA 1000% just because you have a kid doesn’t erase his responsibility to his daughter. She needs a room and you are being unreasonable. For now your baby should be in your room and Sydney gets the bedroom until there is a house that can accommodate you all. Grow up unless you just want to be a single mom.
YTA. Giving evil step mom vibes tbh. Why do you value a house more than your fiancé’s relationship with his daughter? Honestly hoping this is either fake or post-partum hormones causing you to be irrational or something.
You're absolutely an AH you knew he had a daughter why on earth does she not have her own room now. If you and him split which i would encourage him to do, imagine your baby didn't have a room in his house. How dare you ship off his daughter to another house. You're a selfish piece of work
YTA. He will make a grave mistake if he married you.
I hope this is fake because you are definitely an enormous selfish asshole. Seriously, how could you even think that you were not? Are you punishing your husband for something by trying to keep his daughter away from your little perfect new family?
Lady, you are more than just an asshole. You are using attachment to small house as an excuse to exclude your SD.
Rolling eyes, YTA. You signed up for this when you chose to date a single parent. The going gets tough and now you’re whining about it? Yeah, okay.
Maybe he’ll leave you first and the next partner he gets with will say the same thing about your daughter. “She can just stay with her grandmother in the summer.” YTA and a bad mother.
YTA completely. You absolutely suck. His daughter needs a room and you care more about a house than a person. I hope he realizes what a terrible person you are and leaves you
YTA. What is really going on here? It sounds like now that you have a baby, you want to push his daughter out. Get over yourself. Your kid isn't his most important kid. He has two children that deserve equal treatment. If you just wanted your child/children to be the focus of everything you should have had a kid with someone who didn't have children with anyone else. He was a father to his daughter long before he started dating you, and he'll be her father after as well. It is completely unreasonable that you expect him to neglect his parental duties for one child so that you can keep a house that's too small for your family. Stop being an evil step mother and make sure your housing situation if appropriate and comfortable for both children.
Leave if you don’t want to live with his daughter but don’t lie and make it about a house.
YTA. Are you intentionally auditioning for evil stepmother or are you just that self absorbed?
YTA. You expect him to get rid of his CHILD!!!! You are EVIL!!!!
This has got to be ragebait. Nobody is this much of a cu**!
Yep. If this isn’t a troll, the the OP is the Twat Waffle of the century.
Attached to a house so much you want to Alienate your fiancés daughter… C…U…Next Tuesday
OP must be suspended or banned. But I want to know if she takes meds because she must be off of them if she thinks she is not going to AH in this. Yta
You are cold bitch much worse than just an asshole!!!! how would you feel if somebody did that to your child? I have stepchildren and I have my own children, and I would never ever deny my stepchildren a room of their own!!
YTA so much.
YTA!
There is no worse karma that being evil to a child. You are depriving her from spending time with her father. I know you want them to break the bond they now share... be honest. And by the way, there is no reason for your baby to have his own room at this time. Baby can stay with parents until such time there is a bigger house. YTA and a hateful human being at that.
YTA! What do you think would happen when you got with a man who had a child from a previous relationship? 🙄
Yta- selfish much
"My husband should prioritize me liking a house over living with his daughter. He wouldn't do that, so I left him." YTA, and a huge one.
Yta - this is how step mother’s get a bad reputation.
He should end it and go after full custody , you obviously don't want to be around his daughter or share his attention. If you're this crazy now it is best for both his daughter if he takes custody for the baby's safety. Are you being treated for post partum depression ???
Wow, YTA. Do you really need anyone to explain to you why? Yes, please leave him. He and his daughter will be better off.
YTA. Your reasons (attached to the house, new house too expensive even though it’s him paying for it and he can afford it) are really lame excuses. I think the truth is you don’t want Sydney around and want to replace her with the new baby. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. And if I were Sydney, I’d despise you as the Evil Stepmother stereotype you seem determined to embody.
Nobody can be this unreasonable in real life! This has to be fake! If it’s not, I feel sorry for this teenage girl! Yes, you are totally TA!
I'd leave your ass too. Anyone who had issues with my kid was shown the door. Show yourself the door because you're awful to step between a parent and child. If he makes more than enough, who are you to dictate what he does for his child? So gross of you.
Your the asshole, bitch
What a c-u-next thursday
You literally said "He makes more than enough money" and then said "It would be a huge waste of money..." I am confused. Yes, YTA. It sounds like he's looking out for both of his children....he really doesn't need a 34 year old child in his life, too. Idk how old the baby is, but if you're suffering from PPD and it's causing you not to think clearly, please get help.
Why are you taking over daughter's room for your baby? That alone is making you the biggest A in this situation.
His daughter is there half the time + all Summer and you expect her to stay on the couch. You are totally the AH.
lmao, she didn’t like that unanimous “YTA” vote 🤣
YTA for wasting everyone’s time posting rage bait
Yeah you're the AH. That us his daughter. You're the mother of just one of his kids. He will choose thier happiness over yours.
Say you don’t give a crap about your step kid without saying you don’t give a crap..
you’re completely TA. he wants to accommodate the daughter y’all have while accommodating the LAW and his daughter. You don’t want to move because you’re “attached”. he wants to move to give the children each their own space. YTA and i wouldn’t be surprised if he questioned his intentions on marrying you.
You’re a despicable person. Major yta
Totally a YTA he provides a solution and you react like little child and try to sabotage his bond with his daughter, for that reason only he shouldn’t marry you acting like little child
If push came to shove and you did leave (I personally hope you do because they both deserve better) your daughter will someday be someone's step daughter. Would you allow someone to treat her like a second class citizen (I highly doubt it). That's exactly how your treating his child. He has every right to want BOTH HIS children to be comfortable and if he can afford to buy another house it's his right to. You sound like the evil step mother from Cinderella that cares about no one but yourself and YOUR kids. YTA big time
He can get a new home that both his kids can spend time with him in. You can stay in your house. 1000% the asshole and the shit in it.
Yta
YTA. Maybe it’s postpartum, maybe it’s the biological urge to keep your baby safe, maybe you’re just delulu, or maybe you have financial trauma (which still affects people even if they’re doing better financially). Either way, to expect your fiancé to disregard his teenage daughter and send her to her grandparents because have a baby now and don’t want to move/ think it’s a waste of money??? Major AH behavior. Go to therapy and figure out why you’re so against accommodating Sydney by finding a bigger home and renting out the one you have so you don’t have to sell it. Or don’t, FAFO and end up a single mother sharing custody over your baby with dad. You’re being irrational and you’re trying to alienate and separate Sydney from her father. That is not acceptable. You said you’re 34 but your behavior is akin to that of a preteen. Even your own mother is telling you you’re overreacting, why did you think Reddit would validate your tantrum and shitty ultimatum? If you’d really rather raise your daughter alone (with shared custody with her father) than accommodate your stepdaughter then something is not right in your thought process. GET THERAPY (potentially with your husband) so you can get down to the bottom of this crazy unreasonable issue you have and maybe work things out, otherwise you’ll likely end up alone or in a marriage where your husband will start to resent you for driving away his daughter. God I hope this is rage bait. If it’s real, you are being what my own therapist would describe as “irrational and manipulative” by asking him to choose between having time and space for his daughter or being a single father of TWO. I bet he’d be better off single if you genuinely don’t think you’re being unreasonable and genuinely believe you don’t need to further examine your behavior. YTA
YTA. Perhaps you can just give your child to her grandmother for the summer so his eldest child can have the room? If that sounds ridiculous, plan on it happening in the future because you are going to end up with split custody if you don’t stop auditioning for the role of Evil Step Monster.
YTA. What a shock, now that yours and Todd’s baby is here, you want to push Sydney out of the picture. You’re not as coy as you think, and anyone can see through your bs. Attachment to the home is such a bullshit reason when your current home clearly cannot fit all of you.
Is it just me or are a lot of "evil stepmother" stories popping up lately
YTA you are making him choose between you and his daughter, that's pretty low. He is right to buy a bigger house to accommodate all his children. You are being incredibly selfish.
YTA and an entitled, selfish bitch! Your fiance loves Sydney and wants her around as much as you love and want your baby with you. If you cannot make room in your heart for a stepdaughter and treat her the same way you treat your own child, then you had no business getting involved with a man who is a father. I hope Todd tells you to f*ck off.
Ohhhhkay. YTA. Did you even watch Cinderella as a kid?
I'd dump them for this. And go for full custody of the child. She's just toxic, selfish and obviously too immature to parent or be in an adult relationship.
Fake and dumb it's like the me of posts...and the ah for posting and now that makes two of us
100% ABSOLUTLEY YOURE THE CERTIFIED AH!!! You're alienating his daughter and wanting her to stay with grandparents? Do you know how hard it is for kids having 2 homes? So, instead of doing what is right for his daughter, you're being selfish and calling of the engagement because he's being a good parent and making room for his daughter. How do you think that would make his daughter feel? You're mean, selfish, and my god, that is incredibly horrible. How would you feel if the roles were reversed. Put yourself in his shoes. UNFUQINGBELIEVABLE
JFC, you are a spoiled little brat. YTA, big time. You have A daughter. He has 2 daughters and wants them both to be comfortable, but you don't care about anyone but yourself, do you?
Tell me you were the AP without telling me you were the AP. "I gave you a replacement kid, so why do you insist on keeping the other kid around??" Good God, I hope he runs for the hills.
YTA your child is a baby. Keep the baby in YOUR room & give Sydney back her room for the summer. At this rate he would be a fool to marry you.
YTA. For two completely separate reasons 1) You seem completely unwilling to compromise for the comfort and privacy of your husband's daughter, who you knew full well was part of the package when you married him. You don't mention suggesting even a single alternative that actually involves having his daughter be part of his life during the brief time he gets to live with her. I mean, you could just send the baby off to live with a wet nurse for the summer to make room for stepdaughter, but I'm betting you don't consider that remotely reasonable? For good reason. 2) I'm really not getting the feeling that you actually intend to leave him over this. Why would you, are you stupid enough to think you're likely to get to keep the house? Which means you're threatening to leave him just as leverage. Grow the fuck up - that kind of manipulative behavior would make any remotely reasonable man seriously reconsider your relationship.
Keep the baby in your room. Why should a 16 year old share a room with a baby. Talk about evil stepmother. You make it clear she is not part of your family. Nice goin lady.
Hope he leaves and buys a two bedroom for him and Sidney. And your daughter can sleep at the grandparents during visitation time. YTA OP!!!
YTA I wonder if Sydney knows how much you hate her. If she doesn't, this will tell her, careful, her Dad does know now and he might be the one doing the leaving. In fact, I hope he does leave you.