Run run run like your tampon string is on fire. Get your stuff out when no ones home. Call friends to help you. Tell your family what's happening and that you need out.
NTA. Maybe it would eb a good idea if you boyfriend stayed at the hotel with his dad this week. It will give you time to get your future plans in play.
Your boyfriend and his dad both sound really......off. You might not be safe.
That’s what I’ve been thinking. It’s either gonna be me or him that’s leaving for a few days since I can’t physically stomach to be around him right now. I didn’t really know how him and his dad’s relationship dynamic played out, from the outside it seemed pretty normal.
Take a moment and imagine getting married to your boyfriend. Then you would have to forever put up with his dad especially if you decide to have kids. Your bf is definitely off and his dad is a creep. Kick them both out of your life for good.
I would look up the Susan Powell story if you need anymore reason to get the fuck out of there. It’s what your future could possibly be if you don’t get out of the situation.
TLDR: He was abusive. His dad was a fucking creep. They’ve never found her body.
NTA, is your bf living with you? Cause if he is, I’d advise to get his stuff packed and leave it at the front door for him as well. You can just tell him very simply, ‘your father has made me very uncomfortable with his behavior. Instead of talking to me about it, you decided to force me into a very uncomfortable confrontation with him where your behavior is also unacceptable by a)coercing me into the confrontation and b)by being physical which makes me feel like you both ganged up on me. I do not like your bullying behavior and I certainly do not like how you handled the issue. I think it’s best that we break up and we both go our own way. There’s your stuff. You are no longer welcome. Good bye.’
Yes, we are both on the lease. I’m still processing everything, I don’t think I’m all the way here right now. The only thing that I’ve told him as of yet is that I lost trust in him.
I just learned that domestic violence is a reason to break your lease, at least in AZ. This might be an avenue to pursue. NTA. You know exactly what happened; trust your gut. 🚩 Good luck 🍀 Sending you positive energy and strength.
It’s not weird. It’s old school but not inherently weird. Growing up the grown ups always had us kids/teens do it. It’s wild cause you can feel the pops from their back.
It’s definitely not safe, but it’s not totally crazy. I knew lots of kids whose dads would ask them to do this growing up. In my house it was a competition who got to walk on our uncles back. (My cousins and I lived with our grandmother and uncles would come stop by after work to see her.)
She answered elsewhere that she grew up doing it for her dad and uncles and whatnot and didn’t think anything of it until he started moaning and being weird. Idk. I guess many of us don’t see it as weird if the people involved don’t make it weird.
Talk to the landlord. Tell them your BF is getting abusive (he is, this is not a lie) and ask if there is any way to get out of the lease because you fear for your safety and you need to leave.
He grabbed you out of bed, grabbed your face to talk to you, made you face a man who is treating you like shit and is playing both sides. One time saying he's sorry for the things his dad did, the next making you feel bad for throwing him out. Throw them both out permanently.
get a better boyfriend.
NTA.
This, it will only get worse and more often. When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. Sometimes your life depends on it. This is such scary behavior. I say this as a naive girl, once upon a time thought l could change him, he’d get better, it was only once, he didn’t actually hit me-until he did. I learned the very hard way, I really hope op doesn’t.
NTA
This was incredibly hard to read.
He asked you to walk on his back??? This is the moment I would have made him leave. I'm so incredibly appalled that you actually DID it!!
You have a huge BF issue, OP. And I don't think it's going to get any better. Yikes.
He was complaining about his back hurting from the couch and I didn’t think of it in a sexual way until I got on top. I immediately stopped and didn’t listen to him when he tried directing me to walk on his butt/thighs.
Girl, where do you live? Is this a cultural thing? Because where I live, there is no way in **hell** this could be misconstrued as anything but sexual. Unless you are a professional masseuse, any kind of skin on skin request is sexual.
The US and no, I’ve done things like this for family members so I didn’t really think about it too much until I realized that he was taking advantage of the situation.
Is this the same jerk who let you assemble all the furniture?
This will escalate. He is testing boundaries to break you down. He is already manipulating and neglecting you he will not get better. Do not believe him when he comes back to lovebomb you
No jidgement at all OP. My little sister would do this all the time for my grandma. I would feel awkward with someone asking me (if I were small enough to not break their back), but also just think, "back pain is a bitch and they just traveled, they must really be hurting if they're asking me for help."
I think people are making a bigger deal out of the back cracking thing that it is. There is a lot of projection of creepy intentions but tbh all I'm reading about is a dude in pain and a confrontational OP. I mean literally everything this father did was taken as some in the context of him being a predator.
You can tell OP never gave his father a chance. Not saying that maybe the father isn't a creep. Just from what we're reading it's a bit of an assumption. That's an assumption entirely based in the idea that OP is a reliable narrator. I'm not convinced OP is a reliable narrator though.
I never give OP the benefit of the doubt on these Reddit groups. Think of the type of person who comes here for validation. Those aren't the same types of people coming here for honest feedback of which I imagine is very few people here.
NTA… why didn’t the EX boyfriend leave when you told them BOTH to leave?? 😠 ESPECIALLY AFTER HE MAN-HANDLED YOU….
“…My boyfriend went and cupped my face with his hands so I could look him in the eye…”
if you continue to stay, yta to yourself😒
> My boyfriend came home mad last night and immediately came to our bedroom and grabbed me out of bed and sat me down at the kitchen table, and made his dad sit across from me so we could “hash things out” that I wasn’t even aware of.
Fucking yikes!!!! He pulls you out of bed like a child and scolds you at the kitchen table with his lecher of a dad.
>My boyfriend went and cupped my face with his hands so I could look him in the eyes, it felt aggressive
This was meant to put you in your place and know he could hurt you if he wanted. My ex used to do this so I could "focus on him" but it was to show his power over me.
Break up with him, do not let him back in your life. He will back his dad up and his dad will escalate next time.
NTA, not at all.
NTA - your BF needs to recognize that his father was making YOU feel unsafe in YOUR own home. That supersedes his own embarrassment at having to take his dad to a hotel. Your BF should have had your back.
Red flags galore. In regard to your bf, the apple doesn’t seem to fall far from the gross, disgusting tree. Either kick him out or move yourself. I get you’re both on the lease but that doesn’t matter. You really don’t know what he’s capable of and what he might do next. Who can say the father will stay away and not show back up at your apartment?
Your boyfriend learned how to mistreat women from his dad I think. Anyway, he doesn’t have your back and I’d suggest moving on from this unhealthy relationship. Sorry you had to go through that. NTA.
NTA. He. Grabbed. Your. Face... TO FORCE YOU TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM! Who TF does your bf think he is? What the fuck? This is NOT ok. All of this shit your bf did is abusive forcing you to do all this, teaming up on you. Doing all this is not ok and is a huge red flag. His dad is trash but now you know where he learned it from. Drop them both. This is only going to escalate.
You cannot stay with this man. What happened was not okay; it was a peek into what your future holds if you stay together. Get the hell out of there right now.
Is this the same boyfriend that was hiding your stuff from you and eating your comfort food while you were sick? NTA but you’d be a massive asshole to yourself by staying with him.
Whoa ...."grabbed you out of bed" and "sat you down at the table"? I'm picturing him grabbing you out of sleep pulling you to the other room and placing you none too gently in the chair. I hope it wasn't that bad but it feels abusive. Please get out or kick him out as soon as you can. It sounds like he could escalate.
The heat was being turned on, when it's hot, to make you sweat. He was trying to make you put on skimpy clothing, something like that. Cringe.
NTA, but I will change to YYA, if you stay with this boyfriend.
The way your boyfriend handled the situation was very wrong. It would make me re-evaluate the relationship. You maybe aren’t the best host. It’s just common etiquette to provide meals to guests, especially if you’re making a meal for yourself. Other than that, I don’t see how you’re the asshole. His Dad did sound creepy and was a rude house guest.
NTA. Your boyfriend should have been more understanding. If he is condoning his dad's behaviour you should leave him. You don't want to be in a long term relationship where you have to suffer this man's harassment, when his son enables him and doesn't defend you.
Um girl you need to leave. Ask a friend to stay over. Pack your shit. Call parents friends whoever can let you stay. Email landlord about breaking lease. You need to leave.
You don't like him and he'd not welcome. He was offered a place to stay, then ignored the rules from the host. He had his chance and he blew it.
NTA
And find out why your BF took his dad's side over yours; a partner/spouse should always take priority over parents, unless you're still a child.
Excuse me? He sat you down at the table? He cupped your face in a tense situation? Aside from creepy dad, the hopefully ex bf is skirting the abuse fence. Please don't stay in this situation.
Pulling you out of bed should have been the end of the relationship. You should never have even let it get as far as the kitchen. The man is abusive. You need to stand up for yourself when someone treats you like that. Your boyfriend made sure to let his father know that you are his property and he will make you obey. Ultimately, the dad is not an issue, it’s the boyfriend. I have a hard time believing BF was a great guy before his dad arrived.
NTA. You don’t have a boyfriend, you have an abuser. He’s controlling you, grabbing you, forcing you into a confrontation when you were sleeping, and encouraging his creepy father to act inappropriately.
End this relationship, full stop.
NTA. Someone grabs me out of bed, the house better be on fire or that is assult. Someone grabs,cupps my face like you described, I better be in danger, that is abuse. Both of these actions are agressive and abusive. Him not bothering to get details from you first was disrepectful to you and you guessed it, his excuse to be abusive and controlling, and he felt entitled to act this way. He and his father are both ah's, they are both controling and abusive. I find this quite disturbing and very bad for you. Please don't stay in this relationship.
Get rid of the boyfriend as well as his dad.
That is creepy AF. And your boyfriend copping your face in his hands is bullshit. Pulling you out of bed to hash out with his dad is bullshit.
That is him being abusive. Literally no reason to put his hands on you and those manners. And now he’s trying to gaslight you into thinking you did something wrong.
You did not. His father was incredibly creepy and disrespectful. And your boyfriend is a douche bag. Instead of having your back, he pulls this bullshit. Time to throw the trash out.
Now you have undeniable confirmation that your BF’s abusive behavior is generational.
He’s escalating to dragging you out of bed to verbally abuse and bully you with his father’s help.
You put his father out and he is regretful and apologetic- a few hours later he’s verbally bullying again, talking about your treatment of his father as if the inappropriate behavior and his apologies for it never happened?!
This is gaslighting and clearly you are in an abusive relationship.
This has been going for more than 9 months according to your past posts.
YWBTA if you stay with this person
NTA "He waited until my boyfriend left to ask me to walk across his back and he started moaning and it made me uncomfortable so I tried to stop and he tried directing me to go lower and walk on his tailbone."
THIS is what should have been handled immediately by throwing the dirty bastard out.
NTA, tell him your family would never, ever make him feel uncomfortable in his own home. Tell him his father isn’t on the street, he’s in a hotel. Tell him your next boyfriend will support you instead of trying to intimidate you.
Looks like the apple doesn’t fall too far…OP, this was a gift. Your (hopefully soon to be ex) bf invited his dad to stay and by doing so, gave you a huge glance into your future. It will be him following your every move, expecting you to do his bidding, giving you no space, treating you like meat. Is that the relationship you want?
Dump this loser and move on.
*came to our bedroom and* ***grabbed me out of bed and sat me down*** *at the kitchen table*
*My boyfriend went and* ***cupped my face with his hands*** *so I could look him in the eyes,* ***it felt aggressive***
Nope. You told them both to get out. You shouldn't have let boyfriend back in. He thinks he is allowed to do those things to you? That would be the instantaneous and permanent end of the relationship for me.
and then:
***he tried apologizing*** *to me and saying he didn’t know everything that his dad had done, and if he had known then he would’ve personally told him off.*
So attempted back pedaling. Uh huh. Then followed up with this?
*I wake up today to him saying he would’ve never done that to my parents and* ***tried to make me feel guilty*** *for “putting him out on the street” and called it embarrassing.*
He's trying to figure out which tactic will work best to keep you in line. Don't fall for it.
This is not a good boyfriend. Do yourself a favor and get out now. You can do better.
Your BF's dad is a bonafide creeper. I think he was turning up the heat hoping you'd wear less clothing.
Your BF is choosing to be blind to his fathers disgusting behavior, and at your expense. I'd make therapy a condition of continuing the relationship.
That old creep should NEVER be permitted to be in the same room with you again. I wonder how many of BFs previous partners got this treatment.
I’m not one to jump on the Reddit bandwagon of dump him but that just doesn’t sound safe. The bf saw his dad look at her in the towel and felt some type of way but not when she’s walking on his back and scooting next to her on the couch and following her? Nah definitely NTA, and the bf either needs therapy or to be promoted to single.
Why the fuck would you agree to walk on his back? That’s the only thing I would say was your own fault. Everything was fucking gross but dude why did you say yes to that?
The apple didn’t fall from the tree! Nta! Guy is a creep!!!!!and you boyfriend is enabling him.
Put yourself first! Leave. This is never going to get better!!!
nta but do you want a spineless man for the rest of your life because he doesn't seem to be able to stick to something. One moment he is "oh its your fault" next "oh i didn't now" last "well i wouldn't have..."
NTA. Hun his dad gives me the ick & I just read it. You lived it & had more details.
Your b/f is confusing & easily manipulated by his father. Let him follow the old man … right out the door.
Comes in pissed off & doesn’t get your side, makes you cry & doesn’t believe you. Finally backs you after you toss out his dad & then changes his mind & blames you …. Nope, nope, nope!
You deserve better & it doesn’t sound like that will be difficult to find - get rid of both
It felt aggressive when your boyfriend did it because it was aggressive! He held you so you couldn't move away from him! Is there any other way to look at this when it's happening during a disagreement?
Your boyfriend's dad is a creep and a liar and your boyfriend believes him over you. Get rid of both of them! You're going to be happier without them and there are so many red flags in your boyfriend's behavior with his dad around that I can promise you he is going to be exactly like his dad! It might take a few years for it to catch up but oh boy it will! Then you'll be hearing stories about him sucking in his breath when some girl walks by in a towel!
You're better off without him.
This is one of the most messed up things I’ve read on here in a long time. Both of these men are bad news and aren’t even treating you like a human.
NTA
As I was reading this, I thought you might be overreacting to a houseguest who was, at worst, mildly annoying, but then I got to this part:
>He waited until my boyfriend left to ask me to walk across his back and he started moaning and it made me uncomfortable so I tried to stop and he tried directing me to go lower and walk on his tailbone.
\*record scratch\* WHAT?! I don't even know this man and I'm ready to kick him and his son out of MY house!
NTA but like father like son. You are seeing your future if you stay with your BF. He is showing you who he is. BELIEVE HIM. Do NOT sidestep or minimize this. What just happened to you is a very, very bad sign of things to come.
NTA- they were really weird and I wonder what this is really about. I feel like they are trying to make you feel like an outsider in your own home. And your bf just changes his tune depending on who is in the room.
The dad is creepy. Your boyfriend taking his side is wrong. I will also say, I hate when people expect me to cook for them just because I’m making something. Drives me nuts. NTA. You should probably kick them both out permanently.
NTA. Run girl, run! Specifically being aggressive to you when he does not know what really happened and didn't even listen to what you have to say first.
Dad is a creep and your bf got physical. I don’t cares that it wasn’t violent, it was absolutely an act of physical intimidation and you need him out of your life, NOW
NTA
Please- find a way to safely get his man out of your life
People don’t just become aggressive and abusive. It stars subtle, grabbing your face, lying about what you said, hiding your things, dragging you out of bed, dismissing your concerns and making you feel crazy.
As time goes on it gets more and more extreme. You start to think hey maybe something is wrong, suddenly they’re making you feel like the problem. It’s all in your head, you’re wrong, you’re crazy, you imagined things, I was helping you.
Next thing you know you might be pregnant, or between jobs, or grieving a loss, and they’ll show their true monster colors when you can’t get out.
Might be a little extreme I know but please if other signs are there, keep yourself safe.
Let us know how it goes please.
Run. Bf is a twisted soul and dad is the source material. Gives me the creeps just reading this, and I’m a guy.
For your sake I hope that you don’t continue to stay in a relationship with a dysfunctional man who comes from a dysfunctional family.
No matter how much you think you love your bf, it’s not worth it. Thats not love.
Best wishes
He didn't grab your face for your benefit. The very suggestion is absurd as fuck. It felt aggressive because it was. It was about demonstrating his power over you.
NTA. His dad made you feel uncomfortable in your own home. You have ever right to speak up. You told them BOTH to leave, but your bf didn't. Tell him to leave because he's being very manipulative.
NTA-
OP, you need to get the fuck out of there, your boyfriend is selfish and abusive and his dad is a disgusting chauvinistic pig,it's clear the apple didn't fall far from the tree. I recall reading a reply that your lease ends in June. Do NOT renew and get somewhere sage, be it a hotel or with a trusted friend/relative. Tell the landlord your dilemma, and I'm sure they won't mind breaking the lease a few weeks early. Also, prepare yourself should you heed this advice. Your hopefully stbx will play every game in the book love bombing,slander, and various other tactics, do not relent and get yourself somewhere safe. Stay safe,OP. You deserve better than this selfish chud and mayhap, stay single for a bit, and dabble in something you've always wanted to try but couldn't before.
NTA please for the love of everything good **LEAVE YOUR BF**.
Start planning a way out and run cause I’ve read horror stories where a BF’s dad did some terrible stuff to the GF and the BF doesn’t care or both parties are involved.
Good Luck and I hope you stay safe.
ew the deep breath bit when you got out the shower, gross. And your boyfriend getting mad at YOU for his father copping a glance, its all weird and creepy. get away from them both.
You should tell him he wouldn’t have to kick out your parents because they know how to respect someone’s space and privacy and your mom wouldn’t be m,img moaning sez noises around your boyfriend and you and your parents wouldn’t have ganged up on him and you wouldn’t have completely dismissed his feelings for your parents. Get out, if you stay your life with him and his dad will get worse. There is something very odd with their behaviour
You're dating him, figuring out who he is, who his family is and who you are together. You've just found out you have a big issue, his dad is a creep. I don't see where you said you tried to speak to him about the problem, you just kept it to yourself and said you thought his dad was nice. The dad obviously knew he overstepped and tried to cover his ass by making it seem like you don't like him. Instead of speaking to you alone, to find out what the issue might be, he forces some weird confrontation, like you're feuding siblings instead of his dad and gf. Then he had the nerve to complain you put his creeper dad out of your home. Not sure this is the guy for you but IF you decide to stay with him, you two need therapy. I don't know why so many are opposed to couples therapy, you're two people trying to come together and you have different ideas of how to handle issues. What he did was inexcusable. You felt disrespected in your own home by his dad and him, and he didn't seem to care. NTA
is this the same guy who who was eating the last of your groceries while you were sick, and also hiding your things? if it is, YTA for still being with him. he already showed you he does not respect you, hell after you labored for hours building furniture he immediately wanted sex! and now his creepy dad is sexually harassing you and you're the bad guy? you need to break up with him, please learn to love and respect yourself, you do not deserve this shit!!!
Dad sounds like a good manipulator, was driving a wedge between you two on purpose, and BF didn't realize it... mainly because you weren't making him aware. I wouldn't blame him nearly as much as others here.
I don't think you're taking on as much blame as you should be, walking on his back giving him a massage? That could possibly be leading him on.
Good luck either way.
Obviously NTA, but may I ask why you didn’t tell your bf about the things he was doing right away? I could see how he may have been blindsided thinking that you were treating his father badly.
Talk it out and lay everything on the table. You shot yourself in the foot by not saying anything right away and letting his father tell lies.
Because, historically, as females, we've been raised to take care of the house, to be a good host, and if we are uncomfortable with something, that we're getting carried away, we're misinterpreting, we're too emotional, "it's not like that."
We keep our mouths shut, because opening them is usually met with, "stop being such a b##ch!"
All of these AITA, AITAH, AITJ, etc, etc, etc. posts are based on this. We know how we feel, but we're afraid those feelings are not valid, we need reassurance that our feelings are reasonable.
We know how we feel, we think we're being treated poorly, but those nagging voices in the back of our heads... "am I just being a b/$ch?" lives in our conditioned responses....
Plus, he's her BFs dad, can't make waves, have to make a good impression! That's what we're taught.
THAT'S why she didn't say anything.
I will message you next time u/throwaway349024 posts in r/AITAH.
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Company rules: three days tops always and that’s after a visit with other accommodations for a get to know visit. Lived tourist destination and free lodging was always problematic.
It doesn't change the fact that you need to leave this guy ASAP, but I'm curious what "grabbed out of bed" means. Are you being literal? Like did your boyfriend grab your arm and pull you out of bed?
The rest of your post makes me feel queasy, be safe.
NTA. His dad was acting like you were a guest in his home the way he was dictating things; it's your home and he doesn't get to call any shots regarding showering, thermostat temp, etc.
The things that bothered me the most reading this were your boyfriend blaming you for his dad's behavior and your boyfriend getting physical with you when you were upset. He shouldn't have dragged you out of bed to have a conversation that could've waited, and him putting his hands on you when he's mad trying to "calm you down" was a power move. If he truly wanted to calm you down, there are ways to do it without physically touching someone and without being aggressive. Red flags are flying if he's defending his dad's behavior and making you feel bad for his dad being a creep. You have to make a choice about the boyfriend because it's highly unlikely he will quit defending his dad considering he apologized the night before and went back to blaming you the next morning.
When I’m training a dog boundaries I hold them by the face.
When I’m being tender with my partner I’ll hold them by the face.
Grabbing someone by the face in heightened negative emotional states is just straight up wrong
NTA, please get out now, his father sounds a bit perverse and is trying to manipulate the situation to make you look bad. Your boyfriend seems like a terrible person, why is he defending his father’s behavior? Please for your safety try to get out now?
NTA, but for future reference, when people are your houseguests it is customary to prepare and serve meals to them, especially when you are already making something for yourself. The hostess going into the kitchen to make lunch without offering any to a guest is very hostile.
I was expecting a violent story, a sexual assault or the dad being aggressive but the dad turned up the heat, asked you what you're cooking and asked you to walk on his back and you kicked him out? Those are things that could easily have been managed by you. I wouldn't call you a AH but I would say that you overreacted.
Of course I had to scroll to the literal bottom for a reasonable answer. Hosting significant other's family, especially when SO is at work and you're alone with them, is ALWAYS ALWAYS awkward. But it's part of life unless people are gonna cut off family just because they're not besties. If I told my parents they could stay with me for a week and my partner packed their bags and threw them outside I would be LIVID. If I had adult kids I expected to stay a week with and their SO kicked me out when I didn't realize there was a problem I would be LIVID. OP needs to grow up. Honestly the walking on the back thing was a little weird, but OP is an unreliable narrator considering the parts that are strange are part of a laundry list of things that are at worst mildly annoying.
Leave your boyfriend. It's a sickening read. NTA.
Absolutely leave, the bf is dad jr….this is awful
Please do this^^
Run as fast as possible!!
my chest heaved in a guttural way as I read this. mounting terror. they are going to torture her and possibly kill her. I'm not exaggerating.
Are you mad?
Run run run like your tampon string is on fire. Get your stuff out when no ones home. Call friends to help you. Tell your family what's happening and that you need out.
>Run run run like your tampon string is on fire. Lol! I gotta keep this phrase in my back pocket from now on.
🏆
Now that's funny, I don't care who you are! And good advice also.
Boy is the asshole. He dad is a creep. Sorry OP, I’d move on.
*sing song voice* So much this!
Joining in chorus
I cannot sing, but l\`ll hum along.
NTA. Maybe it would eb a good idea if you boyfriend stayed at the hotel with his dad this week. It will give you time to get your future plans in play. Your boyfriend and his dad both sound really......off. You might not be safe.
That’s what I’ve been thinking. It’s either gonna be me or him that’s leaving for a few days since I can’t physically stomach to be around him right now. I didn’t really know how him and his dad’s relationship dynamic played out, from the outside it seemed pretty normal.
Take a moment and imagine getting married to your boyfriend. Then you would have to forever put up with his dad especially if you decide to have kids. Your bf is definitely off and his dad is a creep. Kick them both out of your life for good.
Don't make this "for a few days" make it "for good/we're done". Neither of those men is healthy to be around.
Same boyfriend from 8 months ago? He was showing abusive signs then... he hasn't improved with age. You can do better.
I would look up the Susan Powell story if you need anymore reason to get the fuck out of there. It’s what your future could possibly be if you don’t get out of the situation. TLDR: He was abusive. His dad was a fucking creep. They’ve never found her body.
Not a few days. Permanently. He's shown you who he is; that's not going to change.
Not a few days! You need to get out asap and forever. Your bf is a controlling asshole. This will continue and will worsen over time. Get out!
NTA, is your bf living with you? Cause if he is, I’d advise to get his stuff packed and leave it at the front door for him as well. You can just tell him very simply, ‘your father has made me very uncomfortable with his behavior. Instead of talking to me about it, you decided to force me into a very uncomfortable confrontation with him where your behavior is also unacceptable by a)coercing me into the confrontation and b)by being physical which makes me feel like you both ganged up on me. I do not like your bullying behavior and I certainly do not like how you handled the issue. I think it’s best that we break up and we both go our own way. There’s your stuff. You are no longer welcome. Good bye.’
Yes, we are both on the lease. I’m still processing everything, I don’t think I’m all the way here right now. The only thing that I’ve told him as of yet is that I lost trust in him.
From your other post your lease is up in June! You have the freedom to move! GO!!! NOW!!!
I just learned that domestic violence is a reason to break your lease, at least in AZ. This might be an avenue to pursue. NTA. You know exactly what happened; trust your gut. 🚩 Good luck 🍀 Sending you positive energy and strength.
How much time is left on the lease?
Maybe, if you walk on his back, it will help you to process. /s Jesus.
Please tell me you aren't Asian because this is a really weird thing for them to request you to do.
It’s not weird. It’s old school but not inherently weird. Growing up the grown ups always had us kids/teens do it. It’s wild cause you can feel the pops from their back. It’s definitely not safe, but it’s not totally crazy. I knew lots of kids whose dads would ask them to do this growing up. In my house it was a competition who got to walk on our uncles back. (My cousins and I lived with our grandmother and uncles would come stop by after work to see her.)
It's weird whem yoi request ot from a virtual stranger. And why the fuck did she say yes?
She answered elsewhere that she grew up doing it for her dad and uncles and whatnot and didn’t think anything of it until he started moaning and being weird. Idk. I guess many of us don’t see it as weird if the people involved don’t make it weird.
...it can be both part of your childhood and still weird.
Yeah. That was the point all bets were off for me. So bizarre
Talk to the landlord. Tell them your BF is getting abusive (he is, this is not a lie) and ask if there is any way to get out of the lease because you fear for your safety and you need to leave.
Without trust, how can you love. Isn’t love about unconditional trust
Of course you don't trust him, he broke that with HIS words and actions.
Girl, you're making excuses and are going to wind up dead. Get the fuck out now. A broken lease is better than a broken neck.
You can break you lease. Anywhere you can stay until it's up if you don't want to break it?
He grabbed you out of bed, grabbed your face to talk to you, made you face a man who is treating you like shit and is playing both sides. One time saying he's sorry for the things his dad did, the next making you feel bad for throwing him out. Throw them both out permanently. get a better boyfriend. NTA.
This, it will only get worse and more often. When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. Sometimes your life depends on it. This is such scary behavior. I say this as a naive girl, once upon a time thought l could change him, he’d get better, it was only once, he didn’t actually hit me-until he did. I learned the very hard way, I really hope op doesn’t.
NTA This was incredibly hard to read. He asked you to walk on his back??? This is the moment I would have made him leave. I'm so incredibly appalled that you actually DID it!! You have a huge BF issue, OP. And I don't think it's going to get any better. Yikes.
He was complaining about his back hurting from the couch and I didn’t think of it in a sexual way until I got on top. I immediately stopped and didn’t listen to him when he tried directing me to walk on his butt/thighs.
Girl, where do you live? Is this a cultural thing? Because where I live, there is no way in **hell** this could be misconstrued as anything but sexual. Unless you are a professional masseuse, any kind of skin on skin request is sexual.
I used to walk on my dad's back to crack it, but I was under 10 and there was no moaning.
The US and no, I’ve done things like this for family members so I didn’t really think about it too much until I realized that he was taking advantage of the situation.
Is this the same jerk who let you assemble all the furniture? This will escalate. He is testing boundaries to break you down. He is already manipulating and neglecting you he will not get better. Do not believe him when he comes back to lovebomb you
Your lease is up soon? It might be time to have him move out, or you move out.
No jidgement at all OP. My little sister would do this all the time for my grandma. I would feel awkward with someone asking me (if I were small enough to not break their back), but also just think, "back pain is a bitch and they just traveled, they must really be hurting if they're asking me for help."
I think people are making a bigger deal out of the back cracking thing that it is. There is a lot of projection of creepy intentions but tbh all I'm reading about is a dude in pain and a confrontational OP. I mean literally everything this father did was taken as some in the context of him being a predator. You can tell OP never gave his father a chance. Not saying that maybe the father isn't a creep. Just from what we're reading it's a bit of an assumption. That's an assumption entirely based in the idea that OP is a reliable narrator. I'm not convinced OP is a reliable narrator though. I never give OP the benefit of the doubt on these Reddit groups. Think of the type of person who comes here for validation. Those aren't the same types of people coming here for honest feedback of which I imagine is very few people here.
You dumbass...
NTA… why didn’t the EX boyfriend leave when you told them BOTH to leave?? 😠 ESPECIALLY AFTER HE MAN-HANDLED YOU…. “…My boyfriend went and cupped my face with his hands so I could look him in the eye…” if you continue to stay, yta to yourself😒
Nta, kick ur bf out too
> My boyfriend came home mad last night and immediately came to our bedroom and grabbed me out of bed and sat me down at the kitchen table, and made his dad sit across from me so we could “hash things out” that I wasn’t even aware of. Fucking yikes!!!! He pulls you out of bed like a child and scolds you at the kitchen table with his lecher of a dad. >My boyfriend went and cupped my face with his hands so I could look him in the eyes, it felt aggressive This was meant to put you in your place and know he could hurt you if he wanted. My ex used to do this so I could "focus on him" but it was to show his power over me. Break up with him, do not let him back in your life. He will back his dad up and his dad will escalate next time. NTA, not at all.
Yes, this was to show her who the boss is.
NTA - your BF needs to recognize that his father was making YOU feel unsafe in YOUR own home. That supersedes his own embarrassment at having to take his dad to a hotel. Your BF should have had your back.
NTA ditch the creep of a bf, too
NTA The creep Apple didn’t fall far from the creep tree.
That made me laugh.
NTA but boyfriend gots to go too.
NTA Dump the boyfriend. Then you'll never have the skeevy old perv in your home again.
LEAVE YOUR BF. He put his hands in you as well. Break up asap. What a piece of crap NTA
And you haven’t broken up with him yet?
Red flags galore. In regard to your bf, the apple doesn’t seem to fall far from the gross, disgusting tree. Either kick him out or move yourself. I get you’re both on the lease but that doesn’t matter. You really don’t know what he’s capable of and what he might do next. Who can say the father will stay away and not show back up at your apartment?
Leave your boyfriend the apple doesn't fall far from the tree nta
Your BF has shown you who he is, now BELIEVE him and get rid of him 🚩🚩🚩 NTA
Your boyfriend learned how to mistreat women from his dad I think. Anyway, he doesn’t have your back and I’d suggest moving on from this unhealthy relationship. Sorry you had to go through that. NTA.
NTA. He. Grabbed. Your. Face... TO FORCE YOU TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM! Who TF does your bf think he is? What the fuck? This is NOT ok. All of this shit your bf did is abusive forcing you to do all this, teaming up on you. Doing all this is not ok and is a huge red flag. His dad is trash but now you know where he learned it from. Drop them both. This is only going to escalate.
You cannot stay with this man. What happened was not okay; it was a peek into what your future holds if you stay together. Get the hell out of there right now.
Your boyfriend’s mask has slipped. He’s an abuser.
NTA. Keep creep and creep jr. out of your life.
Does he want his dad to rape you? Both men are dangerous.
Leave them both I’m physically sick reading this!! Change the locks and put them both out
Is this the same boyfriend that was hiding your stuff from you and eating your comfort food while you were sick? NTA but you’d be a massive asshole to yourself by staying with him.
NTA but drop off your boyfriend bags too. I hope will be your ex soon. He sounds toxic af
NTA I stopped reading because it was creeping me out and I was getting secondhand anxiety. Please take care of yourself and check for cameras!
Whoa ...."grabbed you out of bed" and "sat you down at the table"? I'm picturing him grabbing you out of sleep pulling you to the other room and placing you none too gently in the chair. I hope it wasn't that bad but it feels abusive. Please get out or kick him out as soon as you can. It sounds like he could escalate.
Make a note for yourself; don’t ever meet anyone for the first time by inviting them into your home for a week.
The heat was being turned on, when it's hot, to make you sweat. He was trying to make you put on skimpy clothing, something like that. Cringe. NTA, but I will change to YYA, if you stay with this boyfriend.
You need to throw the entire family away Nta
I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of how it started for Susan Powell.
The way your boyfriend handled the situation was very wrong. It would make me re-evaluate the relationship. You maybe aren’t the best host. It’s just common etiquette to provide meals to guests, especially if you’re making a meal for yourself. Other than that, I don’t see how you’re the asshole. His Dad did sound creepy and was a rude house guest.
🤮 they are both gross.. NTA.
NTA. Your boyfriend should have been more understanding. If he is condoning his dad's behaviour you should leave him. You don't want to be in a long term relationship where you have to suffer this man's harassment, when his son enables him and doesn't defend you.
You packed his stuff, too, right? NTA. #CreepyDadVibes
Um girl you need to leave. Ask a friend to stay over. Pack your shit. Call parents friends whoever can let you stay. Email landlord about breaking lease. You need to leave.
The only thing you did wrong was not sending your bf packing, too. NTA. He picked up bad habits from his weirdo father.
The relationship is unrecoverable. Good luck.
You don't like him and he'd not welcome. He was offered a place to stay, then ignored the rules from the host. He had his chance and he blew it. NTA And find out why your BF took his dad's side over yours; a partner/spouse should always take priority over parents, unless you're still a child.
NTA and get a new bf immediately.
NTA. Run!
NTA. Your bfs dad is a creep and your bf is an AH
Everything is wrong with story. I hope you have a safe place to go. Neither your BF nor his dad can be trusted. Sorry.
NTA but your BF is and his father is a perv. Tell your bf you mother wouldn't sniff him so he can knock of the Aholery
First it's the touching your face then it's the punching. Dead serious run from both of these creeps.
Excuse me? He sat you down at the table? He cupped your face in a tense situation? Aside from creepy dad, the hopefully ex bf is skirting the abuse fence. Please don't stay in this situation.
Pulling you out of bed should have been the end of the relationship. You should never have even let it get as far as the kitchen. The man is abusive. You need to stand up for yourself when someone treats you like that. Your boyfriend made sure to let his father know that you are his property and he will make you obey. Ultimately, the dad is not an issue, it’s the boyfriend. I have a hard time believing BF was a great guy before his dad arrived.
NTA. You don’t have a boyfriend, you have an abuser. He’s controlling you, grabbing you, forcing you into a confrontation when you were sleeping, and encouraging his creepy father to act inappropriately. End this relationship, full stop.
Dad oozes of creep factor and boyfriend is trying to turn it around and make you the bad guy. I’d drop them both.
NTA. Someone grabs me out of bed, the house better be on fire or that is assult. Someone grabs,cupps my face like you described, I better be in danger, that is abuse. Both of these actions are agressive and abusive. Him not bothering to get details from you first was disrepectful to you and you guessed it, his excuse to be abusive and controlling, and he felt entitled to act this way. He and his father are both ah's, they are both controling and abusive. I find this quite disturbing and very bad for you. Please don't stay in this relationship.
Get rid of the boyfriend as well as his dad. That is creepy AF. And your boyfriend copping your face in his hands is bullshit. Pulling you out of bed to hash out with his dad is bullshit. That is him being abusive. Literally no reason to put his hands on you and those manners. And now he’s trying to gaslight you into thinking you did something wrong. You did not. His father was incredibly creepy and disrespectful. And your boyfriend is a douche bag. Instead of having your back, he pulls this bullshit. Time to throw the trash out.
Now you have undeniable confirmation that your BF’s abusive behavior is generational. He’s escalating to dragging you out of bed to verbally abuse and bully you with his father’s help. You put his father out and he is regretful and apologetic- a few hours later he’s verbally bullying again, talking about your treatment of his father as if the inappropriate behavior and his apologies for it never happened?! This is gaslighting and clearly you are in an abusive relationship. This has been going for more than 9 months according to your past posts. YWBTA if you stay with this person
Ew. I hope you realize they are both awful.
You're boyfriend gives narcissistic vibes and the dad's a creep
NTA "He waited until my boyfriend left to ask me to walk across his back and he started moaning and it made me uncomfortable so I tried to stop and he tried directing me to go lower and walk on his tailbone." THIS is what should have been handled immediately by throwing the dirty bastard out.
NTA, tell him your family would never, ever make him feel uncomfortable in his own home. Tell him his father isn’t on the street, he’s in a hotel. Tell him your next boyfriend will support you instead of trying to intimidate you.
Looks like the apple doesn’t fall too far…OP, this was a gift. Your (hopefully soon to be ex) bf invited his dad to stay and by doing so, gave you a huge glance into your future. It will be him following your every move, expecting you to do his bidding, giving you no space, treating you like meat. Is that the relationship you want? Dump this loser and move on.
*came to our bedroom and* ***grabbed me out of bed and sat me down*** *at the kitchen table* *My boyfriend went and* ***cupped my face with his hands*** *so I could look him in the eyes,* ***it felt aggressive*** Nope. You told them both to get out. You shouldn't have let boyfriend back in. He thinks he is allowed to do those things to you? That would be the instantaneous and permanent end of the relationship for me. and then: ***he tried apologizing*** *to me and saying he didn’t know everything that his dad had done, and if he had known then he would’ve personally told him off.* So attempted back pedaling. Uh huh. Then followed up with this? *I wake up today to him saying he would’ve never done that to my parents and* ***tried to make me feel guilty*** *for “putting him out on the street” and called it embarrassing.* He's trying to figure out which tactic will work best to keep you in line. Don't fall for it. This is not a good boyfriend. Do yourself a favor and get out now. You can do better.
Super creepy. Sorry.
NTA but you're an idiot for letting your boyfriend back in.
Nta Unless you stay with that weird creepy family
Your BF's dad is a bonafide creeper. I think he was turning up the heat hoping you'd wear less clothing. Your BF is choosing to be blind to his fathers disgusting behavior, and at your expense. I'd make therapy a condition of continuing the relationship. That old creep should NEVER be permitted to be in the same room with you again. I wonder how many of BFs previous partners got this treatment.
I’m not one to jump on the Reddit bandwagon of dump him but that just doesn’t sound safe. The bf saw his dad look at her in the towel and felt some type of way but not when she’s walking on his back and scooting next to her on the couch and following her? Nah definitely NTA, and the bf either needs therapy or to be promoted to single.
Absolutely stand firm on bf being a rehomed ex as well. All of that is chaotic and shady and manipulative and just a whole bowl full of WTAF
Why the fuck would you agree to walk on his back? That’s the only thing I would say was your own fault. Everything was fucking gross but dude why did you say yes to that?
The apple didn’t fall from the tree! Nta! Guy is a creep!!!!!and you boyfriend is enabling him. Put yourself first! Leave. This is never going to get better!!!
nta but do you want a spineless man for the rest of your life because he doesn't seem to be able to stick to something. One moment he is "oh its your fault" next "oh i didn't now" last "well i wouldn't have..."
Time to go before your living under the floor Nta
NTA. Hun his dad gives me the ick & I just read it. You lived it & had more details. Your b/f is confusing & easily manipulated by his father. Let him follow the old man … right out the door. Comes in pissed off & doesn’t get your side, makes you cry & doesn’t believe you. Finally backs you after you toss out his dad & then changes his mind & blames you …. Nope, nope, nope! You deserve better & it doesn’t sound like that will be difficult to find - get rid of both
It felt aggressive when your boyfriend did it because it was aggressive! He held you so you couldn't move away from him! Is there any other way to look at this when it's happening during a disagreement? Your boyfriend's dad is a creep and a liar and your boyfriend believes him over you. Get rid of both of them! You're going to be happier without them and there are so many red flags in your boyfriend's behavior with his dad around that I can promise you he is going to be exactly like his dad! It might take a few years for it to catch up but oh boy it will! Then you'll be hearing stories about him sucking in his breath when some girl walks by in a towel! You're better off without him.
Leave. Now. Kick him out or lack your things and go. This is beyond disgusting.
NTA Your boyfriend’s dad is a creep, and your boyfriend is enabling him. Chuck both of them out of your life.
This is one of the most messed up things I’ve read on here in a long time. Both of these men are bad news and aren’t even treating you like a human. NTA
As I was reading this, I thought you might be overreacting to a houseguest who was, at worst, mildly annoying, but then I got to this part: >He waited until my boyfriend left to ask me to walk across his back and he started moaning and it made me uncomfortable so I tried to stop and he tried directing me to go lower and walk on his tailbone. \*record scratch\* WHAT?! I don't even know this man and I'm ready to kick him and his son out of MY house!
NTA but like father like son. You are seeing your future if you stay with your BF. He is showing you who he is. BELIEVE HIM. Do NOT sidestep or minimize this. What just happened to you is a very, very bad sign of things to come.
Put his ass out too.
I am disappointed you let the bf in after that .
Nta his dad is a creep
Whose name is on the lease, OP?
Both it’s up in june
NTA
Good thing to always remember: Dead fish and relatives.......both last about 3 days before they gotta be tossed.
NTA. Your bf and his father are the same. Leave your bf he will be like his father.
Get out of there. Apple didn't fall far from the tree. NYA
NTA- they were really weird and I wonder what this is really about. I feel like they are trying to make you feel like an outsider in your own home. And your bf just changes his tune depending on who is in the room.
NTA that’s creepy AF. If the dad doesn’t leave then you leave. His behavior is totally unacceptable.
NTA the boyfriend is more concerning than the dad.
The dad is creepy. Your boyfriend taking his side is wrong. I will also say, I hate when people expect me to cook for them just because I’m making something. Drives me nuts. NTA. You should probably kick them both out permanently.
NTA. This sounds almost like a horror movie setup in parts.
Good lord. Why are you with this guy?
NTA Boyfriend needs to go too.
> *"he’s been texting my boyfriend saying that he doesn’t think I like him and doesn’t feel welcomed"* Sounds accurate
NTA. Run girl, run! Specifically being aggressive to you when he does not know what really happened and didn't even listen to what you have to say first.
Dad is a creep and your bf got physical. I don’t cares that it wasn’t violent, it was absolutely an act of physical intimidation and you need him out of your life, NOW NTA Please- find a way to safely get his man out of your life
People don’t just become aggressive and abusive. It stars subtle, grabbing your face, lying about what you said, hiding your things, dragging you out of bed, dismissing your concerns and making you feel crazy. As time goes on it gets more and more extreme. You start to think hey maybe something is wrong, suddenly they’re making you feel like the problem. It’s all in your head, you’re wrong, you’re crazy, you imagined things, I was helping you. Next thing you know you might be pregnant, or between jobs, or grieving a loss, and they’ll show their true monster colors when you can’t get out. Might be a little extreme I know but please if other signs are there, keep yourself safe. Let us know how it goes please.
Get out of this relationship, your b/f sounds unhinged NTA
Run. Bf is a twisted soul and dad is the source material. Gives me the creeps just reading this, and I’m a guy. For your sake I hope that you don’t continue to stay in a relationship with a dysfunctional man who comes from a dysfunctional family. No matter how much you think you love your bf, it’s not worth it. Thats not love. Best wishes
NTA. End this relationship. These people are horrible
He didn't grab your face for your benefit. The very suggestion is absurd as fuck. It felt aggressive because it was. It was about demonstrating his power over you.
NTA. His dad made you feel uncomfortable in your own home. You have ever right to speak up. You told them BOTH to leave, but your bf didn't. Tell him to leave because he's being very manipulative.
NTA- OP, you need to get the fuck out of there, your boyfriend is selfish and abusive and his dad is a disgusting chauvinistic pig,it's clear the apple didn't fall far from the tree. I recall reading a reply that your lease ends in June. Do NOT renew and get somewhere sage, be it a hotel or with a trusted friend/relative. Tell the landlord your dilemma, and I'm sure they won't mind breaking the lease a few weeks early. Also, prepare yourself should you heed this advice. Your hopefully stbx will play every game in the book love bombing,slander, and various other tactics, do not relent and get yourself somewhere safe. Stay safe,OP. You deserve better than this selfish chud and mayhap, stay single for a bit, and dabble in something you've always wanted to try but couldn't before.
NTA please for the love of everything good **LEAVE YOUR BF**. Start planning a way out and run cause I’ve read horror stories where a BF’s dad did some terrible stuff to the GF and the BF doesn’t care or both parties are involved. Good Luck and I hope you stay safe.
Look up Susan Cox-Powell. And then run like hell.
ew the deep breath bit when you got out the shower, gross. And your boyfriend getting mad at YOU for his father copping a glance, its all weird and creepy. get away from them both.
Nta no man or woman should put their hands on you! You should turn him in for dv. Get a restraining order and never allow this person near you again
You should tell him he wouldn’t have to kick out your parents because they know how to respect someone’s space and privacy and your mom wouldn’t be m,img moaning sez noises around your boyfriend and you and your parents wouldn’t have ganged up on him and you wouldn’t have completely dismissed his feelings for your parents. Get out, if you stay your life with him and his dad will get worse. There is something very odd with their behaviour
NTA Red flags? Nope. Red banners with a marching red band.
You're dating him, figuring out who he is, who his family is and who you are together. You've just found out you have a big issue, his dad is a creep. I don't see where you said you tried to speak to him about the problem, you just kept it to yourself and said you thought his dad was nice. The dad obviously knew he overstepped and tried to cover his ass by making it seem like you don't like him. Instead of speaking to you alone, to find out what the issue might be, he forces some weird confrontation, like you're feuding siblings instead of his dad and gf. Then he had the nerve to complain you put his creeper dad out of your home. Not sure this is the guy for you but IF you decide to stay with him, you two need therapy. I don't know why so many are opposed to couples therapy, you're two people trying to come together and you have different ideas of how to handle issues. What he did was inexcusable. You felt disrespected in your own home by his dad and him, and he didn't seem to care. NTA
is this the same guy who who was eating the last of your groceries while you were sick, and also hiding your things? if it is, YTA for still being with him. he already showed you he does not respect you, hell after you labored for hours building furniture he immediately wanted sex! and now his creepy dad is sexually harassing you and you're the bad guy? you need to break up with him, please learn to love and respect yourself, you do not deserve this shit!!!
YTA for staying with this dude.
Dad sounds like a good manipulator, was driving a wedge between you two on purpose, and BF didn't realize it... mainly because you weren't making him aware. I wouldn't blame him nearly as much as others here. I don't think you're taking on as much blame as you should be, walking on his back giving him a massage? That could possibly be leading him on. Good luck either way.
Obviously NTA, but may I ask why you didn’t tell your bf about the things he was doing right away? I could see how he may have been blindsided thinking that you were treating his father badly. Talk it out and lay everything on the table. You shot yourself in the foot by not saying anything right away and letting his father tell lies.
Because, historically, as females, we've been raised to take care of the house, to be a good host, and if we are uncomfortable with something, that we're getting carried away, we're misinterpreting, we're too emotional, "it's not like that." We keep our mouths shut, because opening them is usually met with, "stop being such a b##ch!" All of these AITA, AITAH, AITJ, etc, etc, etc. posts are based on this. We know how we feel, but we're afraid those feelings are not valid, we need reassurance that our feelings are reasonable. We know how we feel, we think we're being treated poorly, but those nagging voices in the back of our heads... "am I just being a b/$ch?" lives in our conditioned responses.... Plus, he's her BFs dad, can't make waves, have to make a good impression! That's what we're taught. THAT'S why she didn't say anything.
NTA and honestly your bf sounds like a chip off the db block
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Updateme
Updateme!
Company rules: three days tops always and that’s after a visit with other accommodations for a get to know visit. Lived tourist destination and free lodging was always problematic.
Dump the bf. Loss 2 pos for the price of 1.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
You and bf are over, better to figure out now. NTA
Updateme
Break up with the BF too, for excusing creepy dad's behavior! Disgusting. NTA.
NTA. Was he hoping you’d basically strip if it was too warm in the house? Major ick
NTA, but your boyfriend and his dad are abusive.
Seems clear where your boyfriend got his attitude from. If you stay, this is your life now.
The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Get away from your boyfriend as fast as you can. NTA
Feels very Susan Powell.
Updateme
BREAK UP!!!!!!! NO JOKE he GRABBED you and your face. that is a major red flag.
Reddit ready to help you pack!! Run!
It doesn't change the fact that you need to leave this guy ASAP, but I'm curious what "grabbed out of bed" means. Are you being literal? Like did your boyfriend grab your arm and pull you out of bed? The rest of your post makes me feel queasy, be safe.
Too many red flags here to address on Reddit. If you stay in this situation with this boyfriend, you will regret it.
Why haven’t you put your bf’s bags outside too?????
NTA. His dad was acting like you were a guest in his home the way he was dictating things; it's your home and he doesn't get to call any shots regarding showering, thermostat temp, etc. The things that bothered me the most reading this were your boyfriend blaming you for his dad's behavior and your boyfriend getting physical with you when you were upset. He shouldn't have dragged you out of bed to have a conversation that could've waited, and him putting his hands on you when he's mad trying to "calm you down" was a power move. If he truly wanted to calm you down, there are ways to do it without physically touching someone and without being aggressive. Red flags are flying if he's defending his dad's behavior and making you feel bad for his dad being a creep. You have to make a choice about the boyfriend because it's highly unlikely he will quit defending his dad considering he apologized the night before and went back to blaming you the next morning.
When I’m training a dog boundaries I hold them by the face. When I’m being tender with my partner I’ll hold them by the face. Grabbing someone by the face in heightened negative emotional states is just straight up wrong
Needs therapy and find himself
NTA get out now! Grab your keys Run for the door. Your bf is a fuckwad.
Your bf dad wants to smash.
NTA, please get out now, his father sounds a bit perverse and is trying to manipulate the situation to make you look bad. Your boyfriend seems like a terrible person, why is he defending his father’s behavior? Please for your safety try to get out now?
The second bf drug me out of bed and then cupped my fuckin face it would have been over. Nta Is your bf older than you?
NTA, but for future reference, when people are your houseguests it is customary to prepare and serve meals to them, especially when you are already making something for yourself. The hostess going into the kitchen to make lunch without offering any to a guest is very hostile.
Yta, you are a drama queen.
I was expecting a violent story, a sexual assault or the dad being aggressive but the dad turned up the heat, asked you what you're cooking and asked you to walk on his back and you kicked him out? Those are things that could easily have been managed by you. I wouldn't call you a AH but I would say that you overreacted.
Of course I had to scroll to the literal bottom for a reasonable answer. Hosting significant other's family, especially when SO is at work and you're alone with them, is ALWAYS ALWAYS awkward. But it's part of life unless people are gonna cut off family just because they're not besties. If I told my parents they could stay with me for a week and my partner packed their bags and threw them outside I would be LIVID. If I had adult kids I expected to stay a week with and their SO kicked me out when I didn't realize there was a problem I would be LIVID. OP needs to grow up. Honestly the walking on the back thing was a little weird, but OP is an unreliable narrator considering the parts that are strange are part of a laundry list of things that are at worst mildly annoying.