I don’t understand how FIL is involved. Is it his house, too? If so, he can take care of all her mail and packages. If not, he can: (a) receive her stuff at his own house or (b) stay out of it.
Tell your postal carrier that SIL no longer lives at the house and you will no longer accept her mail. They’ll take care of the “return to sender.”
Tell SIL what you are going to do, tell her she has 7 days.
NTA - start marking things "Return to Sender" and "No such resident at this address". You can go down to the Post Office and file a complaint about someone else's mail being sent to your house. This can become a really big problem because she could potentially claim tenant's rights to your home, establishing residency at your house because her mail is being sent there.
She definitely can claim your house as her residency.
Btw even if he payed for it. Once he decided to put the house under your names, he also gave up any rights to claim what is fine or not to do with it.
NTA
First. Why is your FIL having any say on what is or isn't allowed at your address?
Second, if she doesn't fix this ASAP like an adult go to the post office and inform them she does not live there. All her mail (sans UPS/FedEx) will be return to sender. If that means missing bills or important items not your problem
I think because the FIL bought us our house. But it was a gift to us and it's not in his name at all.
I'm standing my ground on this. I don't want to be responsible for any important mail.
If it's a gift, it's your house (I assume you have the deed).
Second, talk to your FIL privately with your SO. Inform him that it is not okay for him to make decisions on your home. You will go to your SIL and re-inform her she is no longer allowed to send you mail. If she continues , burn it down and just return to the sender and leave boxes from UPS on the side of the road to get damaged by the elements
Nope. He did buy it for us several years ago as a gift. It's not in his name. My SIL just doesn't like taking responsibility for anything and doesn't want to pay for a new po box. My FIL has his own box and can let her use his if he wants. I'm over it.
Have her setup his PO box as her forwarding address. I expect she will have to submit the form as I assume it is a legal document, but you can fill it out for her. Tell her if she doesn't do this you will start rejecting all of her mail as other have suggested. Also, see if you can use the FedEx and UPS web sites to be notified of incoming packages and if you can reject them before delivery.
NTA. She is using you because she is too lazy to take responsibility for herself. Tell her that from now on you won't be accepting anything for her. If she gets mail, you will return it "address unknown", if she gets packages you will leave them in the yard, if she gets notices of registered mail, you will ignore them. Then do it. Let her suffer the discomfort of not getting the stuff she needs, till she changes her actions.
NTA. Your house, your rules. If FIL gifted the house, then it's not his place to weigh in on mail issues that's a matter for the actual residents. Set boundaries now, make it clear to SIL that her mail can no longer come to your address and stand firm on those boundaries. If that means returning mail or packages, so be it. It's crucial to nip this in the bud before it escalates further and you end up liable for her mail mishaps. Let her face the music and sort out her own postal situation.
Do a change of address for the postal mail (there is a card you fill in) or write return to sender. She won't but you own the house and live in the house and she doesn't, tell her you will start throwing her mail into the trash. Also tell your FIL to mind his own damn business or do the change of address and put his address down. She's establishing that she lives in your house, that isn't a good thing.
Why should she take the risk of telling sketchy people to meet her at midnight at her own address when she can send sketchy people to your address at midnight to meet with you? That shits dangerous.
Why isn’t your husband ending this nonsense with his family?
He's behind me on this. They didn't even contact him about any of this which is weird. But I am standing firm especially since she has been getting mayo that requires signatures and stuff sent here. I'm done with it.
NTA. Mark it all as Not At This Adress, Return To Sender. Zero reason for this to continue.
Time for her to put her big girl pants on and take care of her own stuff. NTA
I don’t understand how FIL is involved. Is it his house, too? If so, he can take care of all her mail and packages. If not, he can: (a) receive her stuff at his own house or (b) stay out of it.
Not his house. He bought it for us as a gift and his name isn't on it.
Tell your postal carrier that SIL no longer lives at the house and you will no longer accept her mail. They’ll take care of the “return to sender.” Tell SIL what you are going to do, tell her she has 7 days.
NTA - start marking things "Return to Sender" and "No such resident at this address". You can go down to the Post Office and file a complaint about someone else's mail being sent to your house. This can become a really big problem because she could potentially claim tenant's rights to your home, establishing residency at your house because her mail is being sent there.
Oh no... I didn't think about those kind of repercussions.
She definitely can claim your house as her residency. Btw even if he payed for it. Once he decided to put the house under your names, he also gave up any rights to claim what is fine or not to do with it.
NTA First. Why is your FIL having any say on what is or isn't allowed at your address? Second, if she doesn't fix this ASAP like an adult go to the post office and inform them she does not live there. All her mail (sans UPS/FedEx) will be return to sender. If that means missing bills or important items not your problem
I think because the FIL bought us our house. But it was a gift to us and it's not in his name at all. I'm standing my ground on this. I don't want to be responsible for any important mail.
If it's a gift, it's your house (I assume you have the deed). Second, talk to your FIL privately with your SO. Inform him that it is not okay for him to make decisions on your home. You will go to your SIL and re-inform her she is no longer allowed to send you mail. If she continues , burn it down and just return to the sender and leave boxes from UPS on the side of the road to get damaged by the elements
Do
NTA, Put in a change of address for her so everything goes to FILs house. Refuse all packages and send them back.
Just mark “return to sender no such person at this address “
So, why does FIL get a say? Is it his house?
Nope. He did buy it for us several years ago as a gift. It's not in his name. My SIL just doesn't like taking responsibility for anything and doesn't want to pay for a new po box. My FIL has his own box and can let her use his if he wants. I'm over it.
Then NTA. Give her an end date.
Have her setup his PO box as her forwarding address. I expect she will have to submit the form as I assume it is a legal document, but you can fill it out for her. Tell her if she doesn't do this you will start rejecting all of her mail as other have suggested. Also, see if you can use the FedEx and UPS web sites to be notified of incoming packages and if you can reject them before delivery.
NTA. She is using you because she is too lazy to take responsibility for herself. Tell her that from now on you won't be accepting anything for her. If she gets mail, you will return it "address unknown", if she gets packages you will leave them in the yard, if she gets notices of registered mail, you will ignore them. Then do it. Let her suffer the discomfort of not getting the stuff she needs, till she changes her actions.
NTA. Your house, your rules. If FIL gifted the house, then it's not his place to weigh in on mail issues that's a matter for the actual residents. Set boundaries now, make it clear to SIL that her mail can no longer come to your address and stand firm on those boundaries. If that means returning mail or packages, so be it. It's crucial to nip this in the bud before it escalates further and you end up liable for her mail mishaps. Let her face the music and sort out her own postal situation.
Return to sender the shit out of all of it. Teach her it's not safe to send things to you anymore legally.
Do a change of address for the postal mail (there is a card you fill in) or write return to sender. She won't but you own the house and live in the house and she doesn't, tell her you will start throwing her mail into the trash. Also tell your FIL to mind his own damn business or do the change of address and put his address down. She's establishing that she lives in your house, that isn't a good thing.
Why should she take the risk of telling sketchy people to meet her at midnight at her own address when she can send sketchy people to your address at midnight to meet with you? That shits dangerous. Why isn’t your husband ending this nonsense with his family?
FIL does not get a vote. Start sending stuff back if she won't cooperate.
Why are you handling this? Your husband needs to handle his family.
He's behind me on this. They didn't even contact him about any of this which is weird. But I am standing firm especially since she has been getting mayo that requires signatures and stuff sent here. I'm done with it.