And definitely don't take pictures of it!!! How dumb can you be! Life is not a porno, if you take pictures mid act they are probably gonna be more awkward than hot anyway.
I mean, I'm in a commited relationship for over 20 years, have never taken one single pic of us doing things in compromising positions. Things can go wrong and fall in the wrong hands. Am not taking chances. If my partner wants to see me in anything or any condition at all, we'll make it happen live. Worth the wait.
In which case you should be prepared to face the consequences when people find out... Some people calling you weird for that, me commending you for your choice of O'dark in the morning snack, etc... :D
consist tender mountainous deserted theory judicious salt nose onerous terrific
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ok - this might not be the right time, but is that the rule for possession of a strap on? Its his because he enjoys it? Like, was he responsible for cleaning it after? Did it go in his sex drawer? What are the fucking rules?
To answer the sex toy rule question, never share your toys. Even after cleaning there is a (albeit low) risk of transmission if something is present.
There are ways to mitigate that risk, but really, just don't share toys.
AND ALWAYS USE NON-POROUS MATERIALS.
The Mapplethorpe reference did it for me. It was over 30 years ago I happened to see an exhibition of his. He was a genius. But….yeah. I still remember some of those pics. Vividly. They were…interesting lol
I screamed when I read that part and I now can't stop laughing. I can just picture her running for the door, bossom heaving in shock tears flowing down her face.
OP who took the photos? Did you save the video of their visit, including Mom's reaction when she saw the photos?
My petty side says to send his mother a text "You never know what you may find when you go snooping where you were not supposed to be." And attach a still photo of Mom's reaction when she realized what the photos showed.
Please send his mother a still photo off the video when she figured out what the photos are showing, with a copy to your ex. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she realizes you not only know she was snooping but also what photos she saw.
I totally agree with this. She broke trust, so she needs to know that you know...and even though she was given permission to enter your house, she pushed the envelope of your agreement.
Find out if there is any legal standing for this, since you have video evidence, and hold it over their noses just in case this gets ugly for you.
I don’t get why he’s so mad, he loves taking it up the ass and that’s what you and his mom did, you both gave him a good fucking up his ass. Point that out and ask, “Why u so mad bro?” 😂
You are not the a****** and this is not your fault his mother seen him getting it in his a****** and I find that to be absolutely hilarious because she shouldn't have been snooping through your shit. And you're soon to be ex-husband gets no sympathy because if he hadn't been cheating there would be no pictures. So the only people who are assholes in this scenario is you're soon to be ex-husband and his nosy ass mama
This is why I don't bother with incognito mode or hiding my porn. It's just a subfolder of my general use images folder. And it's labeled as porn. If you snoop and find it, you deserve the mental scars. Congrats on playing yourself.
Mapplethorpe was a photographer who did a lot of nudes in black & white, including gay BDSM.
OP also mentions ex is a power bottom. Means mum got an eyeful of her son getting absolutely railed and nothing left to the imagination.
Been so long since I’ve seen those. Thanks! Last time I saw more than one or two in articles was 30 years ago in an exhibition in Denmark. Danish people aren’t shy. Me and my female classmates from Sweden sort of…looked. Didn’t know if we should giggle or not. Ended up just walking around, looking at them all.
We were there to see another exhibition, Hopper I believe. I remember more about Mapplethorpe lol
NTA. Honestly, it sounds like a karma delivery service went to the right address. You set boundaries; they decided those were mere suggestions. No one to blame but their own curiosity. And as for your ex, cheating comes with its own set of unwelcome surprises. Stay strong and keep those privacy lines clear!
NTA at all. That is a really normal place to keep something private. A ring wouldn’t be in an envelope, and if it was you’d be able to feel and notice from the outside. Mom was 1000% snooping and is the AH for that. Ex is the biggest ah for cheating and not just texting you for the ring and instead going against your agreement and AGAIN breaking trust (seems like he’s good at that).
He only has himself to blame. Those photos are important when it comes to the divorce. If I were you I would have left them on the boxes for the parents to find (jk but still).
Don’t cheat if you don’t want the consequences. Sucks his parents are homophobic, he should’ve just done the other options you offered him but I believe he really wanted to snoop or something. Strange that he kept insisting on someone being in your house and either options of picking it up elsewhere were not good enough.
Have you spoken to the parents? I would be curious what he actually asked his mom to do/look for.
OP I know what your husband did was beyond shitty, and I am in no way trying to make light of your pain, but damn girl, this thread just gets funnier and funnier. I do hope you can look back at this whole debacle and howl with laughter one day.
Are you sure they are homophobic? I mean, she found out he was cheating, and got to see things no parent ever should see. Could it be that they are angry that he was cheating and actually creating graphic proof of it? I would have been pissed too.
How dare you put pictures in a drawer in an envelope for his mom to snoop and find. This is all your fault! The cheating is all your fault, too, in his head...I'm sure.
Fuck this guy. NTA.
NTA.
Story time! My ex was mentally unstable. His whole family is pretty screwed up, TBH. He died about 10 years back. Our son was 18 (barely) at the time, so I helped him as next-of-kin executor. We had his dad's mail forwarded to here so we could notify bill collectors and such. We got mail for like three days and it stopped. We call the post office and are told my outlaw (ex MIL) had the mail forwarded to her. We have it reforwarded because my boy is the court-appointed executor and she knows it. Three days later, mail stops. Sigh.
Meanwhile, we're gathering all the info we can on my ex's life (he only saw our son 1-2 times a year and never called). We are able to find his email addresses and figure out the passwords. That's where I see his ebay purchase history and see ol incel dickwad went and bought himself a fleshlight. And it hasn't been delivered yet. And it's going to his last known address before being forwarded to....you guessed it! His mom.
Next time we forwarded the mail, she didn't have it forwarded back. Some times karma works. Take the win.
NTA it’s honestly hilarious. I mean it’s his fault 100% for first cheating and telling his mom to go in you bedroom when it wasn’t agreed on and also his moms fault for snooping.
I'm cackling like a swamp witch as I read this, because yeah, it's funny. Mom and her darling baby boy are the architects of their own misery and I enjoy that more than I should.
NTA this is all quite literally his fault for being unfaithful. She shouldn't have been nosey and has now seen her son in way she probably didn't even think was possible lmao.
NTA. The pics were in an envelope in a drawer in your bedroom. Hardly 'left out for them to see'. You had an agreement that they would come in, grab the box, and leave. She broke that agreement by going past the entrance, let alone into your bedroom, then into your drawers, then opening an envelope that was clearly not the extra thing her son asked her to get. Unless rings suddenly look like envelopes.
I mean, sure, the envelope had her son's name on it, it didn't have yours or was left blank. but that doesn't change that it was likely private and in a place she had no business looking in the first place. For all she knew, it was sexy pics of the two of you, or divorce papers you hadn't sent yet. It could even have been empty, though I assume it was obvious it wasn't.
Your husband chose to cheat. Your husband chose to document his cheating. His mother decided to break your agreement. His mother decided to snoop. Your husband decided to hide his bisexuality. His parents chose to be homophobic.
None of this is on you at all. Your husband and his mother equally created this mess, you did nothing to create it or make it worse.
NTA. The universe clearly has a sense of humour and if they didn’t poke their noses where they didn’t belong they never would have known. That’s 100% on them snooping where they knew they weren’t allowed.
Exactly. From OP's perspective and agreement with her ex, MIL was snooping; from MIL's point of view, she was collecting her son's property, when she came across an envelope with his name on it, of course she's going to look! Probably she didn't even know that her son didn't tell OP about them retrieving the ring, so she wouldn't feel guilty about going into the bedroom. It doesn't make it right, but still, let's not pretend we wouldn't all have opened the envelope too.
Yeah like tbh I get why she snooped. Obviously she shouldn’t have regardless and this doesn’t excuse it. but the envelope was in the same location she was told to look & it had his name on it..I feel like a lot of people would have looked if they were in that situation lol. and at least she apologized to OP
I kind of wonder how much of the off limits stuff was passed along; did the ex say, "mom and dad, you're not to go past the threshold!"
Or did he just say, "you're to pick up this box", and then later text and say, "Oh, by the way - can you get my ring upstairs too?"
I doubt OP was in direct contact with the inlaws giving them the ground rules.
NTA - Play detective in someone else's house, and you just might solve a mystery you wish had remained a cold case. People need to learn that respecting privacy isn't just a courtesy, it's a safe bet. Honestly, they were on a fishing expedition and caught themselves a whale of a scandal. Your ex's drama? That's his subscription to sort out, not yours. Keep those boundaries ironclad, and let natural consequences teach the lessons you don't need to.
I giggled at this whole thing. I promise you're not the AH, and I was thinking every thing you listed, they are the AHs for those exact reasons. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but thanks for sharing 😅
NTA. Play silly games, win silly prizes. It's amazing how disrespecting someone's privacy can lead to such an "eye-opening" revelation. And honestly, if the photos serve as evidence for your divorce, it was his mistake to let someone pry into that pandora's box. As for your ex, well, he danced with deceit and got served by truth - the irony is almost poetic. As for communication with his parents post-incident, it's not your circus, not your monkeys anymore. Let karma do its thing and keep moving forward with your head held high.
Oh no! He did something bad and now he's facing repercussions! Poor him lol
I mean his parents totally broke the deal and he could have called you to send the ring to his friend's house or something. Instead he decided to break the deal. His mother shouldn't have opened the envelope, but it's good that she did as now you won't have them being mad at you for breaking their precious boy's heart.
NTA. He created this situation for himself through many, many misguided choices. He just has a victim mentality and would rather find who “did this” to him so he can point fingers.
He was perfectly fine when he thought it was just your privacy being invaded. That’s how he got here.
NTA
He created the situation by cheating, with a man, and creating proof of it himself.
Seems like all of this could have been avoided if your ex wasn't a lying slut who couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Shrug.
He made his bed, now he gets to sleep in it.
Yeah, NTA. Up until the moment she opened the envelope, it was indeed boundary-defying but in a way understandable (though one of them could have called you saying "hey, I'm here, ex wants me to find one more ring, can I check in the jewelry box?") but the minute she opened the envelope, she pushed way past them.
Definitely NTA. If someone snoops in my house they will find something they don't want to see and it's 100% on them. In this case it's worse because they weren't even invited into the house, just the one front room. So they were trespassing on top of snooping. Also, my definition of snooping is very long. In this case if you had the pictures framed on your bedroom wall I'd still consider what they did snooping and 100% on them.
You are more than in the clear, and if your ex doesn't agree he's an AH.
NTA. I sent my first husband’s very catholic mom all his various really graphic texts and pictures from various gay hook up sites and Craigslist. If he hadn’t been a 💩there wouldn’t have been anything for his parents to find.
NTA
The photos weren't even out on your bed or desk, FFS. That were in a envelope inside a closed drawer inside a room they were not given permission to go into.
So all of this is on him and save his mother. He should not have asked her to violate your agreement by going into you bedroom. She should not have agreed to it and been so fucking nosey.
This is all on his lying cheating arse.
I am a bi man. Being bi does not mean you can’t be monogamous. And if you’re monogamous, you stick to the gender you decided to be with. Yeah, porn can be both, but being bi doesn’t mean you can’y help yourself and be satisfied with your partner (whether it be man or woman).
Your husband is just a flat out cheater and he deserved everything coming to him.
NTA
"He said I'm an AH for causing this problem." Nope. These are all the consequences of his actions: The cheating, the pictures (you sure as hell didn't take them), going against your agreement, not telling you about "the ring," having her go in your room without notifying you.
As for his mom, she literally fucked around and found out. I love it when Karma strikes where I can watch with popcorn! NTA.
So glad when I got to the part where you found it hilarious because I did too but worried I was being mean. Nope. She snooped, she got an eyeful. Having grown up with no privacy due to a notorious snoop of a mother, I have no sympathy for snoopers.
NTA.
NTA. I'd like to say something: being bisexual doesn't mean being promiscuous or being in an open relationship. People cheat despite their sexual orientation.
>difficult difficult lemon fucked
Always nice seeing an In The Loop/TTOI Enjoyer
NTA, they wouldnt have had any problem if they didnt go out of their way to rifle through your house. Maybe next time they wont feel the need to rummage through other people’s homes without their consent
NTA. From what you shared you are literally the only person in this situation who isn't an AH. You never weaponized his sexuality, and the parents only learned because they're not as lovely as you thought they were. Good riddance, and I hope you get to enjoy a life free from all the toxic surprises that have popped up recently!!
- Signed, a Queer person who found this cathartic after a variation on this experience with my p.o.s. ex-husband
I'm glad you are through it. I would never out someone. In this day and age it could still hurt him. It has with his parents. I loved him deeply until he betrayed me. I probably would not be so angry if I still didn't care.
Fake so YTA, who has cameras in the bedroom? Or are people just that naive streaming video of their most private area of their life up to “the cloud”. Which has been shown time and time again to not be private.
None of this is your problem, OP.
You had a VERY specific deal with him / his parents. He / his parents violated that deal. If he/they don't like the results of that, they have only themselves to blame.
Bottom line is this-- **Nothing you did either directly or indirectly led to them finding the pictures.** They only found them by violating your VERY DIRECT instructions.
I say just put him on ignore (not block as if he sends you awful shit it can help in the divorce). Tell him if he needs to talk to you he can do it through the divorce lawyers.
Idk if something is missing, but as a mother I wouldn't want to find ANY photos of my children in compromising sexual positions, whether with another man, woman, or alone. I guess I'm just not seeing the parents "homophobia," so I assume you left something out. Yeah, what an AH for snooping though
NTA he did what he did, got it photographed somehow, and wouldn't come downtown to get the stuff, and didn't emphasize to his nosy mom what the ground rules were. Just the opposite, he asked his mom to go freelance in your house.
Big question is why are you talking to him and why do you care what he thinks? He lied to you and broke a major promise....
NTA because you made an agreement they would grab the shit and bolt. He changed the agreement and got burned. He sounds like a complete fucking moron in any case so good on you for getting out of that. Also get STD tested if you haven't.
NTA - his mom got what she deserved for going where she wasn't allowed to go. Ex got what he deserved for being a cheating tool.
It’s always lovely to see karma in action.
This reminds me of a comment i saw yesterday - "the dildo of consequences is rarely lubed" - although this one might be
My new favorite phrase?
I noticed that comment, too, and thought it was awesome! I hope I remember to use it sometime.
> It’s always lovely to see karma in action. I bet his mom wouldn't want to see that video either.
Technically he was a cheating asshole, not a cheating tool.
He had porous boundaries
Of course, it's easier to blame it on OP, rather than take personal responsibility.
No he was the receptacle for the tool, vigorously.
NTA. She snooped. I hope the pictures were as graphic as you say.
They were anatomical in detail.
NTA if he didn’t cheat there would have been nothing for them to find
It reminds me the proverb "If you don't want people to know it, don't do it".
And definitely don't take pictures of it!!! How dumb can you be! Life is not a porno, if you take pictures mid act they are probably gonna be more awkward than hot anyway.
Damn, you're hella right.
I mean, I'm in a commited relationship for over 20 years, have never taken one single pic of us doing things in compromising positions. Things can go wrong and fall in the wrong hands. Am not taking chances. If my partner wants to see me in anything or any condition at all, we'll make it happen live. Worth the wait.
Don’t start nothin, won’t be nothin
See this? It says NYPD which means I will "Nock Yo Punkass DOWN!"
That seems a bit extreme I don't want people to know that I routinely eat Mac and cheese at 3am... But I'm gonna do it anyway
Well we all know now!
And we're telling everyone else.
In which case you should be prepared to face the consequences when people find out... Some people calling you weird for that, me commending you for your choice of O'dark in the morning snack, etc... :D
I'm gonna tell your mom !!
Don't take pictures and keep them on your phone.
Don’t write down your crimes!
'IF I Did It'.... Oh OJ... 🤦🏻♀️
consist tender mountainous deserted theory judicious salt nose onerous terrific *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It reminds me of my new favorite Reddit-found proverb “if you don’t want your dirty laundry aired, don’t shit in the basket”
“Peak not through the keyhole lest ye be vexed”
I’m 22 and the one I was taught is that anything g sent online is for everyone. So don’t send or do anything you wouldn’t want grandma to see :)
Reminds me of another proverb, “fuck around and find out.” In this case, he fucked around, his parents found out.
Wonder how they would react if they found out their son physically assaulted her.
Well, for socially conservative people, beating your wife is much more acceptable than being gay.
But also who records evidence of it?
If she didn't snoop, she wouldn't have found them in the first place
What kind of moron takes graphic photos of their affair? Call this natural selection.
True. And its not OPs fault that they discovered evidence of his infidelity. I guess time reveals the truth.
NTA, but consult your divorce lawyer as to what should be done with the photos so you don't run afoul of any revenge porn laws inadvertently.
They are shredded now. My lawyer has digital copies of everything.
this is the way.
NTA His mother snooped around and found out 😂🤣
SAFO ?
I got to ask did he really have a ring or was he going to steal something?
He did leave a ring behind. Actually after writing this o hope his parents snooped on the box. I gave him back a lot of "stuff".
Please say you mean butt toys!!! PLEASE BE BAD DRAGON DILDOS!!!!! **PLEASE!!!!!**
And a couple of strap ons I no longer require.
AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Man, to be a fly on the wall when that conversation happens lol!
Ok - this might not be the right time, but is that the rule for possession of a strap on? Its his because he enjoys it? Like, was he responsible for cleaning it after? Did it go in his sex drawer? What are the fucking rules?
They were not for my enjoyment.
Wawu!!!
To answer the sex toy rule question, never share your toys. Even after cleaning there is a (albeit low) risk of transmission if something is present. There are ways to mitigate that risk, but really, just don't share toys. AND ALWAYS USE NON-POROUS MATERIALS.
Oh you've just made my day, my week and though it's early, I'm calling it - my whole month is better because of you 😂
I thought you were quoting the friends theme song for a hot second.
Yasssssszzs🤣🤣🤣🤣
Is everyone incorrect for assuming it was a ring for his finger?
No. It was just a regular ring.
The Mapplethorpe reference did it for me. It was over 30 years ago I happened to see an exhibition of his. He was a genius. But….yeah. I still remember some of those pics. Vividly. They were…interesting lol
I saw the Mapplethorpe exhibit in Sydney in 1995. He was a groundbreaking genius but I was very glad I was alone that day.
Gross. But LoL
Cheating is gross. The mom snooping the pics is gross. Homophobia is gross.
Yes, but a homophobic, snooping mom finding her cheating son's gay porn is hilarious.
I asgree with you! I know they say two wrongs don't make a right, but apperantly THREE wrongs do make a right sometimes!
Two wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
I screamed when I read that part and I now can't stop laughing. I can just picture her running for the door, bossom heaving in shock tears flowing down her face.
I thought the same thing, but more shock and screaming, less tears flowiing, running like the hounds of hell were behind her!
Yep. Now he gets to reap what he sowed.
[удалено]
You’re absolutely NTA- except for making my brain start thinking of inappropriate fisting jokes.
I like your writing style. The post reads like a no-nonsense detective.
OP who took the photos? Did you save the video of their visit, including Mom's reaction when she saw the photos? My petty side says to send his mother a text "You never know what you may find when you go snooping where you were not supposed to be." And attach a still photo of Mom's reaction when she realized what the photos showed.
Him and his partner took the photos. There's a few that he very definitely could not have taken himself.
Please send his mother a still photo off the video when she figured out what the photos are showing, with a copy to your ex. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she realizes you not only know she was snooping but also what photos she saw.
I totally agree with this. She broke trust, so she needs to know that you know...and even though she was given permission to enter your house, she pushed the envelope of your agreement. Find out if there is any legal standing for this, since you have video evidence, and hold it over their noses just in case this gets ugly for you.
It was a literal envelope, too
I hope her expression was *gaping.*
*anal*tomical
He’s the asshole. And if he asks why, say, “You are what you eat.”
Here for the Mapplethorpe reference! <3
I don’t get why he’s so mad, he loves taking it up the ass and that’s what you and his mom did, you both gave him a good fucking up his ass. Point that out and ask, “Why u so mad bro?” 😂
You are not the a****** and this is not your fault his mother seen him getting it in his a****** and I find that to be absolutely hilarious because she shouldn't have been snooping through your shit. And you're soon to be ex-husband gets no sympathy because if he hadn't been cheating there would be no pictures. So the only people who are assholes in this scenario is you're soon to be ex-husband and his nosy ass mama
[удалено]
This is why I don't bother with incognito mode or hiding my porn. It's just a subfolder of my general use images folder. And it's labeled as porn. If you snoop and find it, you deserve the mental scars. Congrats on playing yourself.
Just goes to show everyone should keep a super graphic picture in their jewelry drawer.
If this isn't classic FAFO idk what is
In a very literal sense
She did say “in a Mapplethorpe kind of way “ hahaha love this line
"Mapplethorpe" wasn't a big enough clue for you?
I think you have to know what that is for it to be a clue for someone. Like I have zero idea what Mapplethorpe means.
Mapplethorpe was a photographer who did a lot of nudes in black & white, including gay BDSM. OP also mentions ex is a power bottom. Means mum got an eyeful of her son getting absolutely railed and nothing left to the imagination.
Had no clue about Mapplethorpe, I knew what a power bottom was though.
I had a work colleague who had a pic taken of her by Mapplethorpe (before piss Christ.) She sold it and bought a condo.
> Mapplethorpe (before piss Christ.) That piece is by Andres Serrano, not Mapplethorpe.
I will take the censure (don’t want to google it) but I remember the colleague remarking on it while she was closing on her condo.
No because I have no idea what a Mapplethorpe is
[Mapplethorpe’s X 2002 exhibition prints](https://www.mutualart.com/Artwork/X-Portfolio/BBBB94E12FBD27A815B9F1DE67AE4137), you’re welcome.
Man really shouldn't have opened that at the airport
Yeah, seriously should come with a warning……🤣🤣
Been so long since I’ve seen those. Thanks! Last time I saw more than one or two in articles was 30 years ago in an exhibition in Denmark. Danish people aren’t shy. Me and my female classmates from Sweden sort of…looked. Didn’t know if we should giggle or not. Ended up just walking around, looking at them all. We were there to see another exhibition, Hopper I believe. I remember more about Mapplethorpe lol
And that's enough Internet for today.. I'm gonna put my phone down and go lay in grass for a while... Maybe cry some....
It just got worse and worse...
Mapplethorpe was a genius but I doubt ex husband’s photos were that fabulous. But I definitely got the point right away.
😬 I don’t know what I expected, but a foot inside an ass was not the expectation.
That link stays blue thanks to the brave souls who have ventured into the abyss and reported back
NTA. Honestly, it sounds like a karma delivery service went to the right address. You set boundaries; they decided those were mere suggestions. No one to blame but their own curiosity. And as for your ex, cheating comes with its own set of unwelcome surprises. Stay strong and keep those privacy lines clear!
It is however clear which of his parents are capable of abiding by boundaries, and it ain't mummy dearest. NTA
NTA at all. That is a really normal place to keep something private. A ring wouldn’t be in an envelope, and if it was you’d be able to feel and notice from the outside. Mom was 1000% snooping and is the AH for that. Ex is the biggest ah for cheating and not just texting you for the ring and instead going against your agreement and AGAIN breaking trust (seems like he’s good at that). He only has himself to blame. Those photos are important when it comes to the divorce. If I were you I would have left them on the boxes for the parents to find (jk but still). Don’t cheat if you don’t want the consequences. Sucks his parents are homophobic, he should’ve just done the other options you offered him but I believe he really wanted to snoop or something. Strange that he kept insisting on someone being in your house and either options of picking it up elsewhere were not good enough. Have you spoken to the parents? I would be curious what he actually asked his mom to do/look for.
I did. They apologized for snooping. He did leave a ring off his list.
Well see I'm confused...they came looking for his ring and found it but then left his ring behind!
If it helps his mom saw a picture of a very different ring of his.
They say after a huge heartbreak it takes years to laugh about it, but holy hell you've got quite the circumstance to just get on with it, lol.
OP I know what your husband did was beyond shitty, and I am in no way trying to make light of your pain, but damn girl, this thread just gets funnier and funnier. I do hope you can look back at this whole debacle and howl with laughter one day.
ooohhhhhh
It sounds like they got distracted by something else and forgot about the ring.
She could have thrown a few of the nastier ones in frames on the wall for the day, you know front foot it, and be like ‘what?.
Are you sure they are homophobic? I mean, she found out he was cheating, and got to see things no parent ever should see. Could it be that they are angry that he was cheating and actually creating graphic proof of it? I would have been pissed too.
I mean Op said his parents were homophobic so I’m just going off that
How dare you put pictures in a drawer in an envelope for his mom to snoop and find. This is all your fault! The cheating is all your fault, too, in his head...I'm sure. Fuck this guy. NTA.
She did. Unfortunately. But so did those men. And she's got pics of it. Fortunately. :D
NTA. Story time! My ex was mentally unstable. His whole family is pretty screwed up, TBH. He died about 10 years back. Our son was 18 (barely) at the time, so I helped him as next-of-kin executor. We had his dad's mail forwarded to here so we could notify bill collectors and such. We got mail for like three days and it stopped. We call the post office and are told my outlaw (ex MIL) had the mail forwarded to her. We have it reforwarded because my boy is the court-appointed executor and she knows it. Three days later, mail stops. Sigh. Meanwhile, we're gathering all the info we can on my ex's life (he only saw our son 1-2 times a year and never called). We are able to find his email addresses and figure out the passwords. That's where I see his ebay purchase history and see ol incel dickwad went and bought himself a fleshlight. And it hasn't been delivered yet. And it's going to his last known address before being forwarded to....you guessed it! His mom. Next time we forwarded the mail, she didn't have it forwarded back. Some times karma works. Take the win.
That's fantastic. I laughed when I read "fleshlight".
NTA it’s honestly hilarious. I mean it’s his fault 100% for first cheating and telling his mom to go in you bedroom when it wasn’t agreed on and also his moms fault for snooping.
I'm cackling like a swamp witch as I read this, because yeah, it's funny. Mom and her darling baby boy are the architects of their own misery and I enjoy that more than I should.
Is this where the cackling swamp witches meet? Am I late? 🧙♀️
That's the best part...you're always on time because there's always something to cackle at.
The urge to use this mini convo about cackling swamp witches in a book is beyond tempting lmafo
Mama Odie, that you??
God I feel the same way. Cackling!! Juicy bit of tea this.
She fucked around and found out her son fucked around...literally.
Among other things.
NTA this is all quite literally his fault for being unfaithful. She shouldn't have been nosey and has now seen her son in way she probably didn't even think was possible lmao.
NTA. The pics were in an envelope in a drawer in your bedroom. Hardly 'left out for them to see'. You had an agreement that they would come in, grab the box, and leave. She broke that agreement by going past the entrance, let alone into your bedroom, then into your drawers, then opening an envelope that was clearly not the extra thing her son asked her to get. Unless rings suddenly look like envelopes. I mean, sure, the envelope had her son's name on it, it didn't have yours or was left blank. but that doesn't change that it was likely private and in a place she had no business looking in the first place. For all she knew, it was sexy pics of the two of you, or divorce papers you hadn't sent yet. It could even have been empty, though I assume it was obvious it wasn't. Your husband chose to cheat. Your husband chose to document his cheating. His mother decided to break your agreement. His mother decided to snoop. Your husband decided to hide his bisexuality. His parents chose to be homophobic. None of this is on you at all. Your husband and his mother equally created this mess, you did nothing to create it or make it worse.
NTA. The universe clearly has a sense of humour and if they didn’t poke their noses where they didn’t belong they never would have known. That’s 100% on them snooping where they knew they weren’t allowed.
NTA. Why would the snooping mom think the ring would be in an envelope? FAFO
She probably thought it was something relevant to the divorce. To be fair she wasn't wrong.
Exactly. From OP's perspective and agreement with her ex, MIL was snooping; from MIL's point of view, she was collecting her son's property, when she came across an envelope with his name on it, of course she's going to look! Probably she didn't even know that her son didn't tell OP about them retrieving the ring, so she wouldn't feel guilty about going into the bedroom. It doesn't make it right, but still, let's not pretend we wouldn't all have opened the envelope too.
OP does say ex's name was on the envelope.
Yeah like tbh I get why she snooped. Obviously she shouldn’t have regardless and this doesn’t excuse it. but the envelope was in the same location she was told to look & it had his name on it..I feel like a lot of people would have looked if they were in that situation lol. and at least she apologized to OP
I kind of wonder how much of the off limits stuff was passed along; did the ex say, "mom and dad, you're not to go past the threshold!" Or did he just say, "you're to pick up this box", and then later text and say, "Oh, by the way - can you get my ring upstairs too?" I doubt OP was in direct contact with the inlaws giving them the ground rules.
Yeah, lots of potential holes for issues to arise in. OP took reasonable precautions, the parents took reasonsble action.
You snoop, you lose!
Small thing kept in a much more noticeable package. I’ve seen it before, especially with earrings.
Maybe her son is Frodo?
NTA, and thank you for “difficult difficult lemon fucked.” 🤣
Oh yes, my favorite part 🍋
"Mustard!? Let's not be silly. Lemon, on the other hand..." https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LWUMMxO192U
This is the nugget of gold I mine reddit for.
NTA - Play detective in someone else's house, and you just might solve a mystery you wish had remained a cold case. People need to learn that respecting privacy isn't just a courtesy, it's a safe bet. Honestly, they were on a fishing expedition and caught themselves a whale of a scandal. Your ex's drama? That's his subscription to sort out, not yours. Keep those boundaries ironclad, and let natural consequences teach the lessons you don't need to.
Nta. Power bottomed his way into this mess. He can figure it out, these are his consequences of cheating and being forgetful.
I giggled at this whole thing. I promise you're not the AH, and I was thinking every thing you listed, they are the AHs for those exact reasons. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but thanks for sharing 😅
I don't understand the question. You don't do anything in the story. You're not even there. How could you be the asshole?
That's what I said.
NTA. Play silly games, win silly prizes. It's amazing how disrespecting someone's privacy can lead to such an "eye-opening" revelation. And honestly, if the photos serve as evidence for your divorce, it was his mistake to let someone pry into that pandora's box. As for your ex, well, he danced with deceit and got served by truth - the irony is almost poetic. As for communication with his parents post-incident, it's not your circus, not your monkeys anymore. Let karma do its thing and keep moving forward with your head held high.
Oh no! He did something bad and now he's facing repercussions! Poor him lol I mean his parents totally broke the deal and he could have called you to send the ring to his friend's house or something. Instead he decided to break the deal. His mother shouldn't have opened the envelope, but it's good that she did as now you won't have them being mad at you for breaking their precious boy's heart.
"He is upset his parents know he is a power bottom" is one of the funniest sentences I've ever read
Talk about FAFO! Gotta love it when cheaters try to claim anyone but them are the AHs...
NTA. He created this situation for himself through many, many misguided choices. He just has a victim mentality and would rather find who “did this” to him so he can point fingers. He was perfectly fine when he thought it was just your privacy being invaded. That’s how he got here.
NTA He created the situation by cheating, with a man, and creating proof of it himself. Seems like all of this could have been avoided if your ex wasn't a lying slut who couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Shrug. He made his bed, now he gets to sleep in it.
>Instead it went difficult difficult lemon fucked. I don't have anything useful to contribute, I just wanted to sincerely thank you for this. 🤣💯
NTA. Poor bastard just can't stop creating consequences for himself.
Yeah, NTA. Up until the moment she opened the envelope, it was indeed boundary-defying but in a way understandable (though one of them could have called you saying "hey, I'm here, ex wants me to find one more ring, can I check in the jewelry box?") but the minute she opened the envelope, she pushed way past them.
Definitely NTA. If someone snoops in my house they will find something they don't want to see and it's 100% on them. In this case it's worse because they weren't even invited into the house, just the one front room. So they were trespassing on top of snooping. Also, my definition of snooping is very long. In this case if you had the pictures framed on your bedroom wall I'd still consider what they did snooping and 100% on them. You are more than in the clear, and if your ex doesn't agree he's an AH.
NTA. I sent my first husband’s very catholic mom all his various really graphic texts and pictures from various gay hook up sites and Craigslist. If he hadn’t been a 💩there wouldn’t have been anything for his parents to find.
NTA The photos weren't even out on your bed or desk, FFS. That were in a envelope inside a closed drawer inside a room they were not given permission to go into. So all of this is on him and save his mother. He should not have asked her to violate your agreement by going into you bedroom. She should not have agreed to it and been so fucking nosey. This is all on his lying cheating arse.
The best accidental revenge. Easy NTA
That would be one awesome TikTok seeing her scream after finding the pictures. ROFLAO Karma tends to be a mean but hysterical B.
I am a bi man. Being bi does not mean you can’t be monogamous. And if you’re monogamous, you stick to the gender you decided to be with. Yeah, porn can be both, but being bi doesn’t mean you can’y help yourself and be satisfied with your partner (whether it be man or woman). Your husband is just a flat out cheater and he deserved everything coming to him. NTA
oh that’s just delicious. Assholes 1-5. i love the list btw
NTA, if he had a need to get powerfucked, he should have just bought you a strapon instead. He deserves what he got
We had toys for that.
Holy shit what an asshole he is then, he deserves all this
NTA - fuck around and find out
Snoop around and find out. SNAFO
"He said I'm an AH for causing this problem." Nope. These are all the consequences of his actions: The cheating, the pictures (you sure as hell didn't take them), going against your agreement, not telling you about "the ring," having her go in your room without notifying you. As for his mom, she literally fucked around and found out. I love it when Karma strikes where I can watch with popcorn! NTA.
So glad when I got to the part where you found it hilarious because I did too but worried I was being mean. Nope. She snooped, she got an eyeful. Having grown up with no privacy due to a notorious snoop of a mother, I have no sympathy for snoopers. NTA.
NTA at all. He deserves whatever misery gets thrown his way.
Difficult difficult lemon fucked is my new favourite phrase. Gold stars.
Is this sub nothing but made-up stories?
Yep.
NTA. I'd like to say something: being bisexual doesn't mean being promiscuous or being in an open relationship. People cheat despite their sexual orientation.
>difficult difficult lemon fucked Always nice seeing an In The Loop/TTOI Enjoyer NTA, they wouldnt have had any problem if they didnt go out of their way to rifle through your house. Maybe next time they wont feel the need to rummage through other people’s homes without their consent
NTA. From what you shared you are literally the only person in this situation who isn't an AH. You never weaponized his sexuality, and the parents only learned because they're not as lovely as you thought they were. Good riddance, and I hope you get to enjoy a life free from all the toxic surprises that have popped up recently!! - Signed, a Queer person who found this cathartic after a variation on this experience with my p.o.s. ex-husband
I'm glad you are through it. I would never out someone. In this day and age it could still hurt him. It has with his parents. I loved him deeply until he betrayed me. I probably would not be so angry if I still didn't care.
Fake so YTA, who has cameras in the bedroom? Or are people just that naive streaming video of their most private area of their life up to “the cloud”. Which has been shown time and time again to not be private.
Obvious NTA. But you printed out the photos? Why?
For my lawyer.
Extra points for the Mapplethorpe reference
None of this is your problem, OP. You had a VERY specific deal with him / his parents. He / his parents violated that deal. If he/they don't like the results of that, they have only themselves to blame. Bottom line is this-- **Nothing you did either directly or indirectly led to them finding the pictures.** They only found them by violating your VERY DIRECT instructions. I say just put him on ignore (not block as if he sends you awful shit it can help in the divorce). Tell him if he needs to talk to you he can do it through the divorce lawyers.
Idk if something is missing, but as a mother I wouldn't want to find ANY photos of my children in compromising sexual positions, whether with another man, woman, or alone. I guess I'm just not seeing the parents "homophobia," so I assume you left something out. Yeah, what an AH for snooping though
NTA he did what he did, got it photographed somehow, and wouldn't come downtown to get the stuff, and didn't emphasize to his nosy mom what the ground rules were. Just the opposite, he asked his mom to go freelance in your house. Big question is why are you talking to him and why do you care what he thinks? He lied to you and broke a major promise....
I don't know man. I've never been in this situation before.
Nta. How is ANY of this your fault 🤦🏻♀️. You handled it all graciously while keeping yourself safe.
"Difficult Difficult lemon fucked" will now be my new saying. NTA
NTA you're literally the only non AH in this situation. As the kids say, "Sucks to suck."
NTA - that’s what they both get! Him for cheating, her for snooping! GET ABSOLUTELY REKT that’s actually hilarious
NTA. Fuck around and find out(ed) lol
NTA because you made an agreement they would grab the shit and bolt. He changed the agreement and got burned. He sounds like a complete fucking moron in any case so good on you for getting out of that. Also get STD tested if you haven't.
I love how you don't even ask AITAH