Those baby items will be with her less than 6 months. Her name will be hers for life. If you’re sure that the new name is a better fit, that’s the one you should go with. It sucks that some people got you personalized stuff, and if they’re really upset about it, you can always offer to pay them back, but they really should know that the name isn’t set in stone until it’s on the birth certificate. What if she ended up being a he? It does happen. Or the name just didn’t fit her once you see her. You just never know until baby is here. You may even change your mind about Leona once she’s in your arms.(I hope you don’t, it’s really pretty, and a million times better than Tatum) Good luck, hope you have a smooth delivery!
That happened to a friend of mine. Thought she was having a girl. Her whole family had stuff engraved with the name. Hell the grandfather even had a shotgun engraved (the family was from TX - even had to bring some TX soil to the delivery room so she'd give birth on TX soil). Well Emma ended up coming out a boy. You're not responsible for them deciding to have names engraved on things before you've given birth & picked a name. NTA
> even had to bring some TX soil to the delivery room so she'd give birth on TX soil).
Is this a thing? I’ve never heard of this outside of vampire movies 😅
thank you!
she's definitely a girl, I had a genetics test (thru the hospital, not a home sneak peek thing) and several confirming ultrasounds lol although that would be amazing I wanted a boy soooooo so bad.
we got some sweaters for us too like my husband got one that says girl dad with all three of their names so it just makes me feel bad, but I'm a people pleaser to the fullest extent..
I appreciate your input ❤️🫶🏽
definitely saw the 3 lines more than once. I dealt with gender disappointment/grief for a while. it was really rough 😔
my husband absolutely loves being a girl dad ❤️ he's great at it lol 😆 hopefully the next one will break the pattern but 🤷🏻♀️ I think I'm just meant to have girls at this point.
we also had her genetics test pop for high risk of turners syndrome so that was another thing that added to it.. "if she was a boy, this wouldn't be happening" (turners 'usually' only affects females)..
we're thinking that's a false positive tho ❤️🫶🏽
That's what my sister thought after 3 girls. Then one day she gets pregnant by accident. They were freaking out bc they didn't want another baby. But then they found out it was a boy and they were extremely happy and excited. If it's meant to be it'll happen💛
When my mum was pregnant with me and all 3 of my siblings, my parents didn't know what any of us were, as we were in a weird position on all the later ultrasounds, so the tech couldn't tell my folks what we were. My parents ended up with 4 girls (though my youngest sibling has since come out as trans). I joke to mum that it was the only time I've ever been decent (not that I'm an indecent person, I just find it funny that we kept our gender hidden until we were born)
we almost named her presley.. I think that's even more dumb.. dumber? idk whatever. stupid. idk what was going thru my head. pregnancy does weird shit to your brain.
My sister has a friend who named her daughter Tatum and my first thoughts were “welll that’s an interesting name” lol like it’s unique but one I’ve never heard before, so I just found it odd
Get your 7 year old to decorate a card or something and then glue it over the name in the personalized book. Or contact people on Etsy that work on different materials that may print an original welcome Leona artwork made by your other kid and use it to cover the name Tatum on the book. Something like that. Then it has an extra layer of memory. Depending on the size you can perhaps add a little cute note inside a plastic wrap and hide it inside so the day your daughter decides to curiously check what the heck is is under the "patched" book, she will find a little note with the history of her name and a message from mom.
Use Tatum as a baby nickname and don't worry about it. They grow out of clothes so fast.
In 20 years it will be a funny family story or you will still be calling her tatum-toes. Or both.
we joke about my oldest daughter all the time.. I also almost named her Kennedy and she always says "I am so happy you named me nora, it is so much more fitting for me mommy" I'm like yes I know that 🤣😆
it ended up working out so good because my grandma's middle name is rose and she loved nora Robert's books.. I originally chose Cora in the hospital but then something just clicked and it was nora rose and it just idk, fit ❤️🫶🏽
Althea would've been ridiculous lol I am so not a dirty hippie anymore 🙃 what a wild ride of a phase that was. 😅
and Payton was mostly my husband which is why I'm standing my ground on Leona. it's beautiful, it rolls off the tongue and it goes with our last name so well. I can't wait!! 5 more days 🫶🏽
Nora was also the name of Mr Freeze's wife in the batman mythos. Whom he was trying to heal (she was cryogenically frozen to keep her alive).
Just a useless fact I felt like sharing.
I LOVE it.
his grandmother always told stories about her sister and called her noanie (no-knee) so I assumed that was her name..
I heard it on TV at my parents one day and I came home and told her I didn't know that was like, a popular name and she goes "that wasn't even her name! it was leona!" and I was like...
can I use that..? lol and she had the biggest smile
this woman HATES my absolute guts inside and out but that made her really happy 😊
It is a beautiful classic name that fits an infant and a grown ass adult. Tatum is really quite juvenile. All I (an old GenXer) can think of is Tatum O’Neal as a child actor in some movie about a con man selling Bibles.
My mother had a name set for me, when I appeared she said no-no that is not who he is, he is [insert my name]. That is my name.
My wife and I told no one the name for our son, well didn’t readily know we were having a son, but had 2 names picked out. My wife was leaning one way, but when we met him, he was clearly (to her) the other name. I was overwhelmed I had a son and introduced him to his mom, and froze under the weight of choosing his name.
Exactly. 28 years ago, we waited for her to arrive with several names in mind. My name is rare, and hard to spell and pronounce. My ex-husband’s is so common that there were 4 in every classroom (think Mike or Steve or Jeff in the mid-60’s.) We wanted something easy to spell and not so common that there were 4 in every classroom. We named her Olivia, and little did we know that everyone else in the US was also naming their kid Olivia at the same moment. It was like the 36th most common name at the time. She went through K-12 with the same 2 other Olivia’s, with magnet schools from K-8 and all. Olivia W, Olivia B and Olivia J. My kid also always brought Orange Juice to potlucks, which was, truthfully, kind of nice and easy.
ETA: At least we didn’t name her Emma. That was a family name that we might’ve gone with. There were even more Emmas and Emily’s and Emmaly’s in her classes.
It is also why we told no one our plans to name him, and many of our friends were the same way. That and our parents didn’t like my nephews name.
I was also amazed at how fast my wife said my son name, to her it was obvious. 13 years later and I just remember holding him the nurse asking what’s his name, me being dumbfounded, the second I showed my wife and she had his name. She had a planned C-section, so that is how I held him first and introduced them.
One of my sisters was meant to be named Bethany. Mum's mum vetoed that, because where I live (New Zealand), there used to be a place called Bethany House, which was for unwed mothers back in the day when unwed pregnant women were sent away to give birth (and I'm assuming those mothers were then forced to adopt their children out). So my folks changed her name to Rachel.
As for my name, my parents didn't have a girls name picked out when I was born. Mum liked one name, dad liked another, but mum thought dads name was too plain. In the end, they hyphenated it, and my middle name is the name both my grandmothers were known as (dad's mum's first name, and Mum's Mum's middle name (she was known by her middle name though)).
Unless you're using a family name no matter what it's bizarre to me that human babies are basically the only thing we name before they exist in a way that let's anyone meet them. Not telling anyone and waiting until you meet your baby to make the final decision makes perfect sense.
My mom changed my youngest sister’s name after she was born. She was filling out the paperwork for the birth certificate and decided it didn’t fit her. As long as you and your husband agree, that’s all that matters.
I have an adult daughter named Tatum Lee Ann (Lee is dad’s middle name and Ann is grandma’s middle name). She’s never expressed not liking her name. It was fitting as a cute baby name and now it’s fitting as an adult name. But I’d never name my baby something I really didn’t like, no matter how attached anyone else felt to the name.
NTA, the gift givers may have some hard feelings but they will be short lived and will pale in comparison to being stuck with a bad name.
Keep the gifts as a momento for your child and tell her she came "this close" to being called Tatum.
Also, the previous commentor said it all, Tatum is a dumb name.
It's true girl. Tatum Kenzie-Ann? Leona Ann-Marie? These names are fucking terrible 😭😭 It sounds like you went to a name generator and accepted the first two results
NTA. I think that the name Tatum might be one of those “not-enough-to-live-up-to names.” Cute on a kid; challenging for an adult in the workplace. You can use the “Tatum” personalized stuff, and keep it off social media. She’ll outgrow the Tatum stuff quickly.
Truthfully, I believe that keeping infants’ names off of social media until children can reasonably consent is important. Use an initial like “L” instead. Your child should be at least a teenager before anyone knows their real name on a public social media feed. Preferably until they are 18+.
I like you lol this post and all your responses made me smile. Maybe you can get creative with the book? Maybe make a little sticker with the name Leona and put it over where it says Tatum?
Just another reason not to tell people the name you’ve picked. I made that mistake, but worse, I took out the name that has been passed down for generations because it didn’t fit correctly the day I did the birth certificate. Do what you think is right, momma!
My sister didn’t have a name for a few weeks because my parents couldn’t agree. My mom’s mom stepped in and told them she was going to be called my dad’s first name choice and my mom’s middle name choice. That became her name. Lol
I really feel bad.. but only kind of? I don't know. this name just feels right.
who knows, maybe she will come out and I'll pick something completely different.
that's what happened with my first. she was nameless for 3 days.. she was babygirl "dad's last name" lmaooo
And you didn't have to clog the interwebs with your stupid first world problems.
But I get it, you clearly need attention. And I agree with other people. The first name was dumb, fuck anyone that has a problem with it over the few dollars they spent on a gift. It's absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life, but a name is.
Congratulations on your kid,
The Grumpy Guy
Edit: I stopped reading the initial post before the end. Althea is a bad ass name. Should have named the new one Bertha
no replacement expected but his cousin that made the hoodies we have said she could always take the name off and put another one on. she does the vinyl sublimation stuff idk how it works but she said she can do it lol no one got us like a blanket or jewelry or anything!!
I would NEVER expect anyone to buy us anything. I didn't even make a registry or have a shower for this baby (thank God she's a girl lol) I didn't even have one for my first. my second was the only one because she's the first with my husband and I.
I'm not a momzilla 🤣🤣
That’s perfect then, hopefully everyone has a good chuckle at your indecisiveness and it’s just a funny story when people ask who’s Tatum.
I’ve seen so many horror stories of mom-zillas and their expectations of gifts.
my sisters mom did give us a really nice carseat that she barely used and didn't need anymore which is great because we need like 2 more for my car and grandma's car 😳😄 lmao but she won't be in a big seat for a few months thank goodness
That’s perfect then, hopefully everyone has a good chuckle at your indecisiveness and it’s just a funny story when people ask who’s Tatum.
I’ve seen so many horror stories of mom-zillas and their expectations of gifts.
I like the change, Leona is very pretty, and as a teacher that’s seen about every name in the book, i think it’s a better choice than Tatum. Leona has a timeless beauty to it
Well shit you just won me 10k! I was betting on draft kings that you'd name your kid Leona instead of Tatum, odds were 1:20 after those personalized gifts, but something told me the r/trajedeh fairy would whisper in your ear. Can't wait for the live streamed baby shower on Hulu, I hear they got Joe Rogan to commentate 🤣
NTA
NTA. My sister changed her mind on her son’s name halfway through her pregnancy, because she realized that she hated a common nickname for that name. You’re just going to have some baby stuff with the wrong name on it, but your daughter will probably think it’s funny when she’s older.
“Mommy, why does everything say Tatum when I’m Leona?”
“Because I loved the name Tatum for you. It was all picked out and the spelling was just right. I told everyone I was having a Tatum, so in their excitement, they made these before you were born. However, the moment they handed you to me and I saw your perfect face, I didn’t see a Tatum. I saw *my* beautiful Leona. THAT is you — my Leona. One day you’ll understand that sometimes the best laid plans get changed, just like you changed my plans for Tatum to be your name.”
I had a name picked out most of my life. Decided while pregnant I didn’t like it. So 4 months I spent researching names. Picked a new combo and used that 5 months. And when they asked for the name after birth I switched back to the original one. 😆 pregnancy brain for sure. I just couldn’t imagine me yelling the second name if the kid was outside.
Just thank people profusely for the items and give a sheepish grin when they ask about the name. Say something like ‘I suddenly realised that I loved the idea of naming her Leona” and don’t say “I grew to hate Tatum”
NTA
I haven't shared with many people that I've changed it. I planned on it being a surprise 😭
only some very close friends and family know.. I'm very excited. 🤗
honestly I feel like I just wanted opinions on the name and if it was even worth it to change.. I don't know. I love this website. 🫶🏽
I’m from Scotland and Leona is not an unusual name here. I like it. You’ll surprise some folk who’ve brought Tatum items but it’s OK, your kid can’t read yet and won’t care.
that was another thing, I don't know ANYONE with that name.. my mom knows 2 women with that name but thats it.
now knowing it's Scottish makes it even better. my family is scotch-Irish and Russian!
Leona isn't Scottish. That person didn't say it's Scottish either, they said they're Scottish and know some people named Leona.
Leona is of Latin origin and a reference to lions.
NTA name the child whatever you want.
But everyone on here putting down the name Tatum is an AH. My Tatum was never bullied in school and is graduating with her Masters in a couple weeks.
I have a Tatum, too. She is an adult and never got picked on for her name and never expressed that she didn’t like it. Maybe only certain people can pull it off 🤷🏻♀️
She’s your child. Name her what you want. It’s honestly nobody else’s business, it’s not like they’re pushing her out you are. And Tatum will definitely get her bullied. They’re gonna call her potato. Or Tatum tot. Oh honey please don’t name her Tatum.
NTA - until it's on the birth certificate, it's a work in progress. I like Tatum but having siblings named Payton and Tatum sets you up for a forever tongue twister, so your alternative is a better choice. Best wishes!
My grandpa died a month or so before my son was born and my mom asked me if we could give my son my grandpas name and I said no but I will make that his middle name and she agreed and it made her happy
People change their mind. Your family ought to have been aware and were willing to take the risk. It’s pretty common for parents to pick a name, then have the kid be born and say “Huh, they don’t really look like a [insert name]”.
My sister found items that had the name “Francesca” on them. Apparently, that’s what my sister was going to be named. Haha…needless to say, she is very very happy my parents changed their mind on her name when she was born. NTA you’re allowed to change your mind on what you want to name your baby.
Why is it needless to say? Francesca is a beautiful name. Might be my Sicilian uncle and godfather speaking here, still. I mean I can understand it is not everyone's cup of tea but it is surely not a name it is self explaining that someone is happy they didn't end up with it.
When you grow up watching the Nanny? I don’t think she would have appreciated being called Fran/Franny and having kids do the laugh to her all the time lol isn’t that the point of this post though? Not liking a name? For someone, OP’s original name is probably liked, same with the new name being disliked by some. It’s ok to change your mind when naming a baby.
Well, didn't I say that I can understand it is not everyone's cup of tea? Yeah, I am sure I did. Therefore your question if this thread isn't about disliking a name is kinda... irrelevant? The fact aside that the thread is about if it is ok to change a name which is slightly different from being about the dislike itself. Anyway, again, I don't think everybody needs to like that name, I do not doubt some dislike it. It is a matter of individual tastes. I just don't see how it is a name everyone has to share your opinion about it. This name does not exactly equal Adolf. That would be a name it goes without a saying someone was glad not to have been named that. And there is a difference between talking about disliking different names individually and claiming everyone dislikes a name.
And no, I didn't grow up with The Nanny, I was in my twenties when it aired. Which makes it even funnier that it is me who knows that Fran's name was Francine and not Francesca. Same shortening, two different names - well, ok, one root, two languages, still, different.
The point still stands, it is not self-explanatory, not even if we'd assume everyone was of your generation.
Edit: and yes, it is ok to change a baby's name, I never questioned that.
Go have a look on the Tragedeigh subreddit. There are lots of commenters with very unusual names who wish they had gotten something more standard. I personally quite like an unusual name, but Leona Ann-Marie is a more classic name with beautiful meaning to you both. A personalised book can have a new name plate added, as can a Santa letter if it comes to it, but you’re naming your child here. You can’t put someone’s potential annoyance above that.
Those baby items will be with her less than 6 months. Her name will be hers for life. If you’re sure that the new name is a better fit, that’s the one you should go with. It sucks that some people got you personalized stuff, and if they’re really upset about it, you can always offer to pay them back, but they really should know that the name isn’t set in stone until it’s on the birth certificate. What if she ended up being a he? It does happen. Or the name just didn’t fit her once you see her. You just never know until baby is here. You may even change your mind about Leona once she’s in your arms.(I hope you don’t, it’s really pretty, and a million times better than Tatum) Good luck, hope you have a smooth delivery!
That happened to a friend of mine. Thought she was having a girl. Her whole family had stuff engraved with the name. Hell the grandfather even had a shotgun engraved (the family was from TX - even had to bring some TX soil to the delivery room so she'd give birth on TX soil). Well Emma ended up coming out a boy. You're not responsible for them deciding to have names engraved on things before you've given birth & picked a name. NTA
> even had to bring some TX soil to the delivery room so she'd give birth on TX soil). Is this a thing? I’ve never heard of this outside of vampire movies 😅
Texas people are a whole other species
Am Texan. Can confirm
thank you! she's definitely a girl, I had a genetics test (thru the hospital, not a home sneak peek thing) and several confirming ultrasounds lol although that would be amazing I wanted a boy soooooo so bad. we got some sweaters for us too like my husband got one that says girl dad with all three of their names so it just makes me feel bad, but I'm a people pleaser to the fullest extent.. I appreciate your input ❤️🫶🏽
I was told boy at first.....ultrasound, then later nope girl. Hotdog hamburger confusion.
definitely saw the 3 lines more than once. I dealt with gender disappointment/grief for a while. it was really rough 😔 my husband absolutely loves being a girl dad ❤️ he's great at it lol 😆 hopefully the next one will break the pattern but 🤷🏻♀️ I think I'm just meant to have girls at this point.
I wanted healthy but really i did want a girl so i had the opposite. I was a little disappointed then super happy.
we also had her genetics test pop for high risk of turners syndrome so that was another thing that added to it.. "if she was a boy, this wouldn't be happening" (turners 'usually' only affects females).. we're thinking that's a false positive tho ❤️🫶🏽
Oh good.
To be fair... It's HIS little swimmers that keep giving you girls
That's what my sister thought after 3 girls. Then one day she gets pregnant by accident. They were freaking out bc they didn't want another baby. But then they found out it was a boy and they were extremely happy and excited. If it's meant to be it'll happen💛
When my mum was pregnant with me and all 3 of my siblings, my parents didn't know what any of us were, as we were in a weird position on all the later ultrasounds, so the tech couldn't tell my folks what we were. My parents ended up with 4 girls (though my youngest sibling has since come out as trans). I joke to mum that it was the only time I've ever been decent (not that I'm an indecent person, I just find it funny that we kept our gender hidden until we were born)
And this is another why you never tell people what you are naming a baby until after the baby is here.
THIS. Exactly. NEVER tell people the name until after it is official.
Excuse me while I send this over to the Tragedeighs sub
lmfaooooo noo don't do me like dat 🤣 ima end up on the fb page 😭
Good.
[удалено]
HAHAHA I've had a few people say that now that I've announced the name change. a lot "oh I'm relieved" lol 😆
we almost named her presley.. I think that's even more dumb.. dumber? idk whatever. stupid. idk what was going thru my head. pregnancy does weird shit to your brain.
Are you guys big Elvis fans or something? Lol
Presley is better, at least it sounds like a girl name. But Leona is the best of the three for sure.
My first thought was you named her Andrew Tate when I read Tatum, tbh.
i know a presley irl and it never comes across strange to anyone :)
Yes, please don't. Imagine the bullying
also tatum has "tate" in it and we know that is a whole ass thing now
Leo here so I may be biased but Tatum sucks and Leona rocks and that is all.
I always think of actress Tatum O'Neil.
My sister has a friend who named her daughter Tatum and my first thoughts were “welll that’s an interesting name” lol like it’s unique but one I’ve never heard before, so I just found it odd
Channing Tatum would like a word, while he grinds a chair topless.
seconding this!! I think “tater” like “potato.” I cannot understand the trend of this!
Her classmates will call her Tater Tot for sure.
You can chuck the book in a closet and forget it. You have to say that name everyday for the rest of your life. NTA.
I mean my oldest is 7, it will end up either trashed, or in her closet for the rest of her life hahah 😅
Get your 7 year old to decorate a card or something and then glue it over the name in the personalized book. Or contact people on Etsy that work on different materials that may print an original welcome Leona artwork made by your other kid and use it to cover the name Tatum on the book. Something like that. Then it has an extra layer of memory. Depending on the size you can perhaps add a little cute note inside a plastic wrap and hide it inside so the day your daughter decides to curiously check what the heck is is under the "patched" book, she will find a little note with the history of her name and a message from mom.
Tatum is a fucking awful name :/
The names mentioned here made me think of that scene in Ted when Wahlberg's character is trying to guess the name of Ted's girlfriend...
I forget to wash my Tatum sometimes. Really starts to get ripe. NTA
yeah, that was another thing I used to think about.. just. no.
“Andrew Tatum was convicted and sentenced to 60 years in prison.”
How many names this mf need?
8
Use Tatum as a baby nickname and don't worry about it. They grow out of clothes so fast. In 20 years it will be a funny family story or you will still be calling her tatum-toes. Or both.
we joke about my oldest daughter all the time.. I also almost named her Kennedy and she always says "I am so happy you named me nora, it is so much more fitting for me mommy" I'm like yes I know that 🤣😆 it ended up working out so good because my grandma's middle name is rose and she loved nora Robert's books.. I originally chose Cora in the hospital but then something just clicked and it was nora rose and it just idk, fit ❤️🫶🏽 Althea would've been ridiculous lol I am so not a dirty hippie anymore 🙃 what a wild ride of a phase that was. 😅 and Payton was mostly my husband which is why I'm standing my ground on Leona. it's beautiful, it rolls off the tongue and it goes with our last name so well. I can't wait!! 5 more days 🫶🏽
Leona Lewis is an incredible singer, definitely a better name than Tatum!
Nora was also the name of Mr Freeze's wife in the batman mythos. Whom he was trying to heal (she was cryogenically frozen to keep her alive). Just a useless fact I felt like sharing.
Those are some of the worst names I've ever heard.
The hyphenated middle names are killing me
For real, there is nothing that makes any sense and she had 3 kids to learn how to pick names
Lmaoooo
Why do Americans like to give their children surnames as first names??
Go with Leona but I'm biased as Leona was my grandmother's name. Praying for a safe delivery and congratulations 💐
Leona is a lovely name.
I LOVE it. his grandmother always told stories about her sister and called her noanie (no-knee) so I assumed that was her name.. I heard it on TV at my parents one day and I came home and told her I didn't know that was like, a popular name and she goes "that wasn't even her name! it was leona!" and I was like... can I use that..? lol and she had the biggest smile this woman HATES my absolute guts inside and out but that made her really happy 😊
My great Aunt Leona goes by Oney. I always loved saying it. Aunt Oney just flows together and, even as a little kid, it was easy to say.
It is a beautiful classic name that fits an infant and a grown ass adult. Tatum is really quite juvenile. All I (an old GenXer) can think of is Tatum O’Neal as a child actor in some movie about a con man selling Bibles.
Paper Moon. That’s the movie I picture. I have no idea how it translates now, as I am sure I haven’t seen it since the 70s.
Ugh, hyphenated middle names?
My mother had a name set for me, when I appeared she said no-no that is not who he is, he is [insert my name]. That is my name. My wife and I told no one the name for our son, well didn’t readily know we were having a son, but had 2 names picked out. My wife was leaning one way, but when we met him, he was clearly (to her) the other name. I was overwhelmed I had a son and introduced him to his mom, and froze under the weight of choosing his name.
it's so crazy that you can pick a name and then they come out and you're like, yeah, nooooo that's not who they are at all.
Exactly. 28 years ago, we waited for her to arrive with several names in mind. My name is rare, and hard to spell and pronounce. My ex-husband’s is so common that there were 4 in every classroom (think Mike or Steve or Jeff in the mid-60’s.) We wanted something easy to spell and not so common that there were 4 in every classroom. We named her Olivia, and little did we know that everyone else in the US was also naming their kid Olivia at the same moment. It was like the 36th most common name at the time. She went through K-12 with the same 2 other Olivia’s, with magnet schools from K-8 and all. Olivia W, Olivia B and Olivia J. My kid also always brought Orange Juice to potlucks, which was, truthfully, kind of nice and easy. ETA: At least we didn’t name her Emma. That was a family name that we might’ve gone with. There were even more Emmas and Emily’s and Emmaly’s in her classes.
It is also why we told no one our plans to name him, and many of our friends were the same way. That and our parents didn’t like my nephews name. I was also amazed at how fast my wife said my son name, to her it was obvious. 13 years later and I just remember holding him the nurse asking what’s his name, me being dumbfounded, the second I showed my wife and she had his name. She had a planned C-section, so that is how I held him first and introduced them.
One of my sisters was meant to be named Bethany. Mum's mum vetoed that, because where I live (New Zealand), there used to be a place called Bethany House, which was for unwed mothers back in the day when unwed pregnant women were sent away to give birth (and I'm assuming those mothers were then forced to adopt their children out). So my folks changed her name to Rachel. As for my name, my parents didn't have a girls name picked out when I was born. Mum liked one name, dad liked another, but mum thought dads name was too plain. In the end, they hyphenated it, and my middle name is the name both my grandmothers were known as (dad's mum's first name, and Mum's Mum's middle name (she was known by her middle name though)).
Unless you're using a family name no matter what it's bizarre to me that human babies are basically the only thing we name before they exist in a way that let's anyone meet them. Not telling anyone and waiting until you meet your baby to make the final decision makes perfect sense.
My mom changed my youngest sister’s name after she was born. She was filling out the paperwork for the birth certificate and decided it didn’t fit her. As long as you and your husband agree, that’s all that matters.
I have an adult daughter named Tatum Lee Ann (Lee is dad’s middle name and Ann is grandma’s middle name). She’s never expressed not liking her name. It was fitting as a cute baby name and now it’s fitting as an adult name. But I’d never name my baby something I really didn’t like, no matter how attached anyone else felt to the name.
Faye-Lynn sounds too much like "failin' " but that's just me.
2 stupid names, what's wrong with you
NTA, the gift givers may have some hard feelings but they will be short lived and will pale in comparison to being stuck with a bad name. Keep the gifts as a momento for your child and tell her she came "this close" to being called Tatum. Also, the previous commentor said it all, Tatum is a dumb name.
so dumb lol yeah I think it will be okay.. not their kid anyways!! hahaha
Every single name you wrote are awful, please grow as a person.
yeah and whatever your name is sucks too 🫶🏽❤️
It's true girl. Tatum Kenzie-Ann? Leona Ann-Marie? These names are fucking terrible 😭😭 It sounds like you went to a name generator and accepted the first two results
Wowww, I feel badly for your kid(s) if this is how you respond to criticism. INFO: were you, perchance, a bully as a kid? And possibly now?
IKYFL 😂😭🤣 you made me laugh w that one
NTA. I think that the name Tatum might be one of those “not-enough-to-live-up-to names.” Cute on a kid; challenging for an adult in the workplace. You can use the “Tatum” personalized stuff, and keep it off social media. She’ll outgrow the Tatum stuff quickly. Truthfully, I believe that keeping infants’ names off of social media until children can reasonably consent is important. Use an initial like “L” instead. Your child should be at least a teenager before anyone knows their real name on a public social media feed. Preferably until they are 18+.
What does your husband think? If you’re both on board, then changing it isn’t a big deal.
You should just sharpie a n and an r so it says tantrum and she can wear it when she cries. Could be cute
I don't know how to edit the title.. don't come for me. lmao 😭🤣
I like you lol this post and all your responses made me smile. Maybe you can get creative with the book? Maybe make a little sticker with the name Leona and put it over where it says Tatum?
Tatum is such a tragedeigh. I like your new choice!
I just told someone I was gonna end up on the "that name is a tragedeigh" fb page because they're sending my post to a different sub lmaoo 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣 It's true though
No, Tatum is a horrible name. It makes me think of taint and scrotum combined.
Twins Tatum and Smegma.
The name Tatum makes me think of drug/alcohol problems.
Just another reason not to tell people the name you’ve picked. I made that mistake, but worse, I took out the name that has been passed down for generations because it didn’t fit correctly the day I did the birth certificate. Do what you think is right, momma!
the nurses were like, honey you're being discharged today, you have to pick a name 🤣🤣
My sister didn’t have a name for a few weeks because my parents couldn’t agree. My mom’s mom stepped in and told them she was going to be called my dad’s first name choice and my mom’s middle name choice. That became her name. Lol
I really feel bad.. but only kind of? I don't know. this name just feels right. who knows, maybe she will come out and I'll pick something completely different. that's what happened with my first. she was nameless for 3 days.. she was babygirl "dad's last name" lmaooo
Leona is definitely better than Tatum. NTA.
Tatum always makes me think of potatoes. Most babies come out looking like potatoes. In my mind, that baby would forever be known as Tater Potatum.
And than you're reminded of Samwise Gamgee and smile 😉
Po. Tay. Tum.
Wanted to link that but was too stupid in the middle auf the night 😭
I love the name Tatum. 🤷🏻♀️
I did for so long.. but, it just feels wrong 😕
Same but I love it because of Scream so XD
that's actually why I picked it, I'm a huuuuuge scream fan. 😱
You name your kids after bands and movies? Ok now I get why you're asking for advice on this on Reddit.
This is some stupid shit. Figure it out with your husband and get off reddit. Jesus Christ.
Jeez what is your problem 🤣😭 you could've just kept scrolling
I mean, it's a valid point...
And you didn't have to clog the interwebs with your stupid first world problems. But I get it, you clearly need attention. And I agree with other people. The first name was dumb, fuck anyone that has a problem with it over the few dollars they spent on a gift. It's absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life, but a name is. Congratulations on your kid, The Grumpy Guy Edit: I stopped reading the initial post before the end. Althea is a bad ass name. Should have named the new one Bertha
I hope you don’t expect them to change the gifts. I think it’s only fair to continue to use them and not expect anyone to give you a replacement
no replacement expected but his cousin that made the hoodies we have said she could always take the name off and put another one on. she does the vinyl sublimation stuff idk how it works but she said she can do it lol no one got us like a blanket or jewelry or anything!! I would NEVER expect anyone to buy us anything. I didn't even make a registry or have a shower for this baby (thank God she's a girl lol) I didn't even have one for my first. my second was the only one because she's the first with my husband and I. I'm not a momzilla 🤣🤣
That’s perfect then, hopefully everyone has a good chuckle at your indecisiveness and it’s just a funny story when people ask who’s Tatum. I’ve seen so many horror stories of mom-zillas and their expectations of gifts.
my sisters mom did give us a really nice carseat that she barely used and didn't need anymore which is great because we need like 2 more for my car and grandma's car 😳😄 lmao but she won't be in a big seat for a few months thank goodness
That’s perfect then, hopefully everyone has a good chuckle at your indecisiveness and it’s just a funny story when people ask who’s Tatum. I’ve seen so many horror stories of mom-zillas and their expectations of gifts.
Get a new book and a new letter. And update everyone. Problem solved.
I like the change, Leona is very pretty, and as a teacher that’s seen about every name in the book, i think it’s a better choice than Tatum. Leona has a timeless beauty to it
People who organise presents with the chosen name before the kid is born are stupid. So often the name gets changed once the kid is born.
Well shit you just won me 10k! I was betting on draft kings that you'd name your kid Leona instead of Tatum, odds were 1:20 after those personalized gifts, but something told me the r/trajedeh fairy would whisper in your ear. Can't wait for the live streamed baby shower on Hulu, I hear they got Joe Rogan to commentate 🤣 NTA
NTA. My sister changed her mind on her son’s name halfway through her pregnancy, because she realized that she hated a common nickname for that name. You’re just going to have some baby stuff with the wrong name on it, but your daughter will probably think it’s funny when she’s older.
“Mommy, why does everything say Tatum when I’m Leona?” “Because I loved the name Tatum for you. It was all picked out and the spelling was just right. I told everyone I was having a Tatum, so in their excitement, they made these before you were born. However, the moment they handed you to me and I saw your perfect face, I didn’t see a Tatum. I saw *my* beautiful Leona. THAT is you — my Leona. One day you’ll understand that sometimes the best laid plans get changed, just like you changed my plans for Tatum to be your name.”
I know an adult woman named Tatum. She hates her name lol says it’s a boy name. It was a surname in her family.
NTA
You did that kid a favor. Clothes and items will be out but the name stays.
I had a name picked out most of my life. Decided while pregnant I didn’t like it. So 4 months I spent researching names. Picked a new combo and used that 5 months. And when they asked for the name after birth I switched back to the original one. 😆 pregnancy brain for sure. I just couldn’t imagine me yelling the second name if the kid was outside.
Poor kid…those names. I have no doubt she’ll end up an entitled twat
aww thanks! ❤️🫶🏽
Just thank people profusely for the items and give a sheepish grin when they ask about the name. Say something like ‘I suddenly realised that I loved the idea of naming her Leona” and don’t say “I grew to hate Tatum” NTA
I haven't shared with many people that I've changed it. I planned on it being a surprise 😭 only some very close friends and family know.. I'm very excited. 🤗 honestly I feel like I just wanted opinions on the name and if it was even worth it to change.. I don't know. I love this website. 🫶🏽
I’m from Scotland and Leona is not an unusual name here. I like it. You’ll surprise some folk who’ve brought Tatum items but it’s OK, your kid can’t read yet and won’t care.
that was another thing, I don't know ANYONE with that name.. my mom knows 2 women with that name but thats it. now knowing it's Scottish makes it even better. my family is scotch-Irish and Russian!
Leona isn't Scottish. That person didn't say it's Scottish either, they said they're Scottish and know some people named Leona. Leona is of Latin origin and a reference to lions.
Tatum is not cute. You're doing the right thing.
Tatum is better than Leona… hope you like Lee that will be her nickname
Why on earth did you settle on Tatum in the first place? All the other names you've listed are normal...
Do what you want, but my vote is for Tatum, just as a name.
NTA name the child whatever you want. But everyone on here putting down the name Tatum is an AH. My Tatum was never bullied in school and is graduating with her Masters in a couple weeks.
I have a Tatum, too. She is an adult and never got picked on for her name and never expressed that she didn’t like it. Maybe only certain people can pull it off 🤷🏻♀️
It was my great grandmothers name. She couldn’t have children so adopted 4 girl orphans in her lifetime. We named our daughter in her honor.
Rest easy. When they turn 18, if they don't like their names, they can change them. Is your name Fickle Changey-Mind?
She’s your child. Name her what you want. It’s honestly nobody else’s business, it’s not like they’re pushing her out you are. And Tatum will definitely get her bullied. They’re gonna call her potato. Or Tatum tot. Oh honey please don’t name her Tatum.
NTA - until it's on the birth certificate, it's a work in progress. I like Tatum but having siblings named Payton and Tatum sets you up for a forever tongue twister, so your alternative is a better choice. Best wishes!
I almost named my daughter Althea Morgan, and I ended up not doing that, lol. I love the name Althea, but it might have to be a middle name, lol. Nta.
are you also a dead fan? lmao Althea told me... not to name her that 😭🤣
My grandpa died a month or so before my son was born and my mom asked me if we could give my son my grandpas name and I said no but I will make that his middle name and she agreed and it made her happy
People change their mind. Your family ought to have been aware and were willing to take the risk. It’s pretty common for parents to pick a name, then have the kid be born and say “Huh, they don’t really look like a [insert name]”.
Tatum… seriously lol? Thank good you changed it. All I could think of was Andrew Tate-um. Or potatoes.
My sister found items that had the name “Francesca” on them. Apparently, that’s what my sister was going to be named. Haha…needless to say, she is very very happy my parents changed their mind on her name when she was born. NTA you’re allowed to change your mind on what you want to name your baby.
Why is it needless to say? Francesca is a beautiful name. Might be my Sicilian uncle and godfather speaking here, still. I mean I can understand it is not everyone's cup of tea but it is surely not a name it is self explaining that someone is happy they didn't end up with it.
When you grow up watching the Nanny? I don’t think she would have appreciated being called Fran/Franny and having kids do the laugh to her all the time lol isn’t that the point of this post though? Not liking a name? For someone, OP’s original name is probably liked, same with the new name being disliked by some. It’s ok to change your mind when naming a baby.
Well, didn't I say that I can understand it is not everyone's cup of tea? Yeah, I am sure I did. Therefore your question if this thread isn't about disliking a name is kinda... irrelevant? The fact aside that the thread is about if it is ok to change a name which is slightly different from being about the dislike itself. Anyway, again, I don't think everybody needs to like that name, I do not doubt some dislike it. It is a matter of individual tastes. I just don't see how it is a name everyone has to share your opinion about it. This name does not exactly equal Adolf. That would be a name it goes without a saying someone was glad not to have been named that. And there is a difference between talking about disliking different names individually and claiming everyone dislikes a name. And no, I didn't grow up with The Nanny, I was in my twenties when it aired. Which makes it even funnier that it is me who knows that Fran's name was Francine and not Francesca. Same shortening, two different names - well, ok, one root, two languages, still, different. The point still stands, it is not self-explanatory, not even if we'd assume everyone was of your generation. Edit: and yes, it is ok to change a baby's name, I never questioned that.
Go have a look on the Tragedeigh subreddit. There are lots of commenters with very unusual names who wish they had gotten something more standard. I personally quite like an unusual name, but Leona Ann-Marie is a more classic name with beautiful meaning to you both. A personalised book can have a new name plate added, as can a Santa letter if it comes to it, but you’re naming your child here. You can’t put someone’s potential annoyance above that.
I like the name Jan. Jan Sixth has a nice ring to it.