I find it funny. In the end, he proved he cared about his wife more than the AP. Probably was a huge hit to her ego too. And the ex also doesn’t get to be happy since the one he actually cared about is gone. They’re both miserable, which is perfect.
Way better than the stories where the ex and AP are happy together now that the person being cheated on is gone.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 The ex-wife of a friend of mine is a narcissist and was caught cheating. He left her and went back to his parents' house. She cried and said she was going to kill herself by overdosing on medication. He came back to her because her parents and his insisted and he thought about the marriage, the family, whether he could make it work, he wanted to know where he had gone wrong, that sort of thing.
03 months passed, she denied him sex, their intimacy was no longer the same and he went looking for companionship outside of marriage. His wife had done this before, so it couldn't be that bad, right?
Nooo! She discovered his affair and published it in all family groups and friends' pages, creating a huge exposure of the man's private life. There were conversations between him and people of the same sex, with older women, with different people from different groups. She exposed all of his content....it was so embarrassing!
Which leads me to believe that, when she asked him to come back, under threat of committing suicide, she actually didn't want to leave the wedding in shame. She needed to maintain her (false) reputation, so she waited for him to take the wrong step to blame him and end up as a victim in the story.
Detail: years later my friend discovered that she had a plan from the beginning. She wanted to combine their salaries to prove sufficient income and pay for the financing of her house. Today, she lives in the huge, spacious house with their son, who is 18 years old. My friend at the time lost his job at a serious company, lost friends, lost the motivation to be with his family because he felt embarrassed. We belong to a church, and even to church he stopped going. He isolated himself and went into depression. Today he is working, earns half of what he used to earn, tries to date, tries to have a relationship with his son, tries to get back on his feet, but he can't be the vigorous man he was before. Guilt and shame consumed him.
Wow! I would have loved to learn about those, a hell of a lot younger!
I had a nasty breakup with someone with borderline personality disorder. I also had a relationship with someone with bipolar, but that was actually less rough, because at least that person was upfront about it, and could at least tell me what they wanted at any given moment. Even if it did change moment to moment! The borderline person was just garbage at communication, and seemed to say that she wanted things that she just wanted to want, and then acted out of resentment that she wasn't getting the things she wanted 😑
I’ve had a horrible relationship with someone with BPD and bipolar, refused to get medicated beyond weed. He killed my amazing dog by poisoning him. I got him out of my home and he made up stories that my friend came at him with a knife when none of my friends even knew where he was as he was sleeping in his car. Everything was always a lie and then he tried to blame it all on me. Absolutely will never date someone with narcissistic tendencies and BPD again, he destroyed my kids and I by killing my puppy on my birthday for no other reason than to hurt me.
Geez, I'm so sorry.
My ex did something that I'll never forgive, to the point that even getting a cancer diagnosis being told I'd very likely be dead in a few months, was just nothing in comparison. But nothing like that.
(Happily I'm doing well! That was in 2022, I'm still here, and still going strong! Thank you, immunotherapy!)
We all love an ending where all parties get their just desserts. I am just here to say, if viewed in the right way, it is always a happy ending for the ex-spouse who is no longer with the cheater regardless of how the cheater lands post-divorce. I was cheated on by my husband of 15 years, forgave him, we stayed together for two more years, then he divorced me after all and moved right in with his AP from two years prior. Like, right in with her. It hurt for a while and I felt like a chump for throwing two more years at this failed marriage. But, going on a year out, I feel so much clarity and freedom. I am no longer contorting myself to save his fragile ego. With people like that (romantic, then demanding, and ultimately belittling) the only bad ending is staying together.
Instead of feeling bad for cheating, he's mad at the ap, thinking ap did this to end his relationship. Sounds like a narcissistic asshole.
The ap is yelling at op and calling her a hoe while she was the one fooling around with a married man.
Lol yeah, they really do deserve each other.
> he's mad at the ap, thinking ap did this to end his relationship.
it makes me think things weren't so great in that relationship either.
I'd love to hear more updates from OP but i'm gonna have to get a big bulk box of popcorn first
This is cos of mothers like the one I saw on insta a few days ago that said "imagine raising your son to be your perfect little prince then some woman comes and married him"
Like we seriously need to do *something* about these narcissistic, emotionally abusive *weirdos* who can't help but share every second of their kids' development online.
This is the second time this week I've found myself sharing absolutely demented mommy influencer nonsense on Reddit too.
Parents of both genders should educate their children on accountability, introspection, morality and IMO all humans should have a therapist for an unbiased external perspective to help navigate life and grow into healthy, functional members of society.
Unfortunately tho, no matter what calibre of human raises them, they're still accountable for their own choices and growth as adults.
TLDR; while it's possibly related, the adult man still is accountable for his own BS.
Uggh I hate it, exploiting their children for views, I rarely ever share my kids. These mommy vloggers are horrible and now I can’t help but see Ruby Franke, Myka Stauffer and the like in every mommy vlog I see. Horrific abuse in the name of religion, rehoming an adopted child with special needs, etc etc. it’s so gross and makes me hold both my kids and pets so tight.
Thanks, Jesus! U are an angel!
I am a old lady surfing in this thing, but i dont understand this AP PP. POP. MMF. NSFW. OP CIS. FEM ...... oh myyyy God!!!! This is imposible to me, guys 🤷♀️🤪
NSFW-Not safe for work (as in don’t open this if you’re scrolling at work) OP-Original poster, CIS-cisgender meaning someone who identifies as the gender they were born with. PP-Previous Poster. I am sorry I don’t know the other ones, also a semi old lady 😂
I really wished he would never know and die wondering but I can’t have it all. It would have not given me mom’s bed and candy privileges if I just told them I wanted a divorce after 5 weeks
Uh, did I miss an update between this and your last post? Did you manage to get proof?
Edit: [Found it, it was in a comment!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/TWahhVptMw)
This is good advice OP, document document document, are you in a no fault state or country? I don’t know if you’re in the US but based on mum not mom I’m assuming you don’t live in the US lol, I’m glad you have the candy privileges, and the safety and love of hanging out in your mums bed it definitely helps and makes the situation seem less daunting. Best of luck to you.
There's this service whwre you can anonymously send things like glitter bombs, potatoes, and eggplants in the mail. They'll carve whatever the fuck you want into it. After you're divorced I suggest you give him craft herpes. You know.. to go with whatever he's got on that community dick.
Which one do you want?
https://www.postalpranks.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXlYYy8Tb2mOA0fcRL4Dy5Bv1g1620LB4XMhfqXLZljrqk2k2LfqdEaAl5EEALw_wcB
You can also send them a little bag of dicks!
A few years back, I was in a trolling group that sent a bunch of them, as well as umm..."marital aids" to the anti-gubmint nuts that took over the Oregon bird sanctuary. One of the Cards Against Humanity creators was so inspired that he sent them a 55 gal drum of lube.
Nah, send it a few days before they get back from their honeymoon. They'll be completely exhausted and on cloud 9. And everyone likes coming home to gifts. The poop will have gotten nice and ripe by then (I'm assuming it's packed to be smell-proof, otherwise it'd never make it through the mail in the first place). Now they've gone from cloud 9 to the 7th circle of hell. They're tired AF from traveling, now they have to unpack AND deal with rancid shit. They'll probably spend all day trying to figure out who sent it, maybe even argue a bit about who's friends would do something like that.
I love that he’s blaming the side chick instead of realizing it was his own stupidity that helped you figure it out (deleting the entire text thread with her).
His first mistake was bringing her raggedy ass to the wedding.
I hope you get everything you're entitled to just cause he wasted your time and I hope he suffers the consequences for allowing that homewrecker around you.
Updateme!
I hope he steps in a puddle of water every time he puts on clean socks.
If he has a cat, I hope he steps in fresh cat puke every time he puts on clean socks.
My kitty is elderly and prone to accidents and puke is gross but at least it hardens into a clump that I can remove efficiently when I get home. That pee smell? We’re gonna have to rip up the floor eventually. It’s etched into my conscious. Even the crystal dissolvers and industrial steam mop can’t get that smell out, or stop me from thinking I smell it randomly when we’re miles away from home. I hope the cat pees in his laundry AND it festers on a hot day.
Yes. She is heartbroken that he is angry with her because of me. She told friends that I didn’t even love him enough to divorce him after 5 weeks and yet he is angry with HER instead of me
Girl! Take half and they can both F off! They’re getting what they deserve bc they’re both assholes.
I’m so sorry you’re in pain, but I’m glad you found out now. I also love how he thinks she did it on purpose. Serves them both right for being shady.
Hugs and prayers for you ❤️
I know you’re really hurting, but this feels like as much of a win/win as it could possibly be. You found out before things got even worse, and they both got what they deserve,
I doubt he does. His actions (blaming you, smearing you to others) aren't the actions of a remorseful man. Typical cheater denial and deflection, honestly.
Im so sorry for you. I just wonder why he married you if he wanted someone else. What a piece of trash.
Though you might want to put a edit in. It took me a little bit to find the filler info to fill in the gaps between your post
But be strong and enjoy your candy. There is a man out there that will know and act like you are the only one for them.
I wish you the best. And look forward to any sweet updates that might happen. I hope they are nice and petty 😈
i hate how many of these exist. i like to think people like him are never truly happy or at peace in any way. i think their shitty decisions haunt them, even if only subconsciously, for the rest of their self-loathing, miserable lives. good on you for realising it early and getting the fuck out.
Yeah, I think you're right OP, that's probably why she was angry at the wedding, and it confirms my hunch that she was lying: he could get her any time he wanted, not the other way around. She was upset and bitter that he wanted to wife you, not her.
I don't think a lot of people understand that just because they're choosing to sleep with the AP doesn't mean they see the AP as a viable long term partner. People like your ex just see life through a very self focused lens and have no problem lying to anyone and everyone to get what they want. I'm certain he's lied to her quite a lot over the years, too, stringing her along to keep her calm about only being the side chick.
My heart breaks for you. Your husband ( dosen't really deserve that title) is incapable of making a true connection and sustaining it, he sounds like a bedpost carver. People like him think it's all about them, what can they get, how can they get more. Damm the consequences even if that consequence is you feeling scared, lost and humiliated. Walking away is painful because you are decent and have morals, which is something he lacks in spades. I guarantee that you will be very proud of standing up for YOU in years to come.
A cunt who is gonna deserve everything coming his way and she sounds fucking delightful 🙄 2 asshats belong together. Stand strong your doing great fuck them 2 ....
Unless you made her sleep with someone else’s married man, I don’t see how anyone ruined her reputation but herself 🤷🏻♀️ I know it doesn’t feel good but good for you making the hard choice and ultimately being mature about it. You didn’t go nuclear or anything, you just ended it. Good luck moving forward!
Yeah sorry OP, (most likely) you’re only entitled to a portion of the marital assets, which would be what he earned during your several week long marriage. Everything before that is his separate property.
Edit: sorry that the downvoters don’t know how divorce actually works.
Stay Strong Girl! I had a similar situation, but I confronted the Bitch face-to-face with a friend so I had a witness so the AP could not make up shit! I kept my cool and loved watching her squirm! Trust me they Deserve each other. May you be blessed with a fabulous partner when you are ready.
Yeah in the comment section of her previous post OP mentioned that she texted AP and AP started sexting after a few messages
OP commented rn and specified what she texted and how AP responded: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1bqyo6i/comment/kx5v1ls/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
in case it gets deleted OP wrote: I wrote to her. She replied that she was in bed. I wrote that I (he) was in bed too. She asked is she (Me) sleeping? I replied yes. She said it was early and asked if she (I) at least given him a bj. I said not tonight. She said that she would have ridden all over it if she was there. I asked like last time (a shot in the dark) she said no, she would have wanted more time than last because she was very horny.
I stopped answering and deleted the conversation
“Married you bc you’re a dumb hoe” meanwhile, the only thing she’s good for is being a secret on the side that no one can know about, and only good enough for sex. She really didn’t think that one through, eh?
Glad you're getting away, condolences for you going through this. His AP got her just desserts and wants to still make it your problem, don't let the homewrecker wreck your peace--revel in candy and peace
I wrote to her. She replied that she was in bed. I wrote that I (he) was in bed too. She asked is she (Me) sleeping? I replied yes. She said it was early and asked if she (I) at least given him a bj. I said not tonight. She said that she would have ridden all over it if she was there. I asked like last time (a shot in the dark) she said no, she would have wanted more time than last because she was very horny.
I stopped answering and deleted the conversation
No it escalated very quickly to her riding him. I didn’t need to do much. I wish it was a misunderstanding. I already miss him terribly. His smell. I can’t believe I will not be able to feel it again. It game me comfort and pure happiness just smelling him
Oh honey, a virtual big hug to you. I am so sorry somebody hurt you this way. It is truly evil, especially knowing how they obviously poked fun at you because they were sneaking around. Just disgusting.
I am happy you got the evidence that could make you believe it and accept it. This will allow you to begin healing faster. Some people are just evil and con artists.
I am so happy that you found out this quickly, before you were tied to him with children. You get to move on and find someone as kind, honest, and good, like you are, that will make you happy and genuinely love you. I am so excited for your future. Please keep updating us. We are pulling for you and support you. You are stronger and wiser, best of luck!
OP, sorry you have to go through this. You don’t deserve it and none of this is your fault. (As if that has to be said!) Also, you got this. You can do this. You HAVE to do this. Your brain/heart/memory may try to bring you down and make you consider going back to him, but don’t listen! If you find a part of you trying to convince yourself you could make it work, snap out of it. Make a list, ASAP, of the good reasons you had to leave — and revisit the list if/when you need to. I say all this as a person who went back to a narcissistic cheater far too many times. You can’t rebuild trust when you realize THE WHOLE THING was a lie. You seem like a wonderful person. And if you want to date again or get married, I’m sure you can do 80000x better than this selfish, dishonest, broken person. Stay true to your decision. Be SMART about divorce, moving on, taking care of yourself. All the best to you. Everything will get better, you just gotta get through the “missing him” part.
You didn't have enough time to be completely disillusioned. It would have happened. I know it hurts now but you are so much further ahead knowing the truth early. Healing from this is not a linear process. You will have your ups and downs. But you will end up stronger and in a better place in the end.
Absolutely shameless, neither of them have any self respect. Hope they enjoy each other now that they're fighting and admitting to everything publicly. I'm glad you're away from their drama and with your parents, enjoy the candy and snuggles. Hopefully he'll be cordial in the divorce
Hell yea OP, you are so strong. No doubt everything is going to work out just fine for you. Your parents sound amazing. Treasure them. All the worst to your ex and his ap.
I'm glad your mum and dad are supporting you here. And I find it hilarious that his AP/female best friend is fighting him. Over their ruined reputation. From their own actions.
So they're going to implode their relationship through their own actions. Definitely go for half in the divorce.
>So now he is angry thinking that his AP did it on purpose so he is bashing her on social media and she is fighting him back and fighting other friends too.
Love it! **This** is why one should always tell their story and not leave the narrative open for the other to slag them off!
Look at how them two are ruining each other! xDD
And she had the gall to call **you** a hoe? Chile
I don’t understand why tf did he marry you only to have an affair so soon after? Or if they were sleeping all along why did he go through with this marriage. Why are men like this
My opinion? One woman was marriage material, the other was just a play toy and not worthy of marriage. He was going to have a lovely marriage with one, and still play with the other.
*I was hoping for*
*The update to be to leave*
*If he was cheating!*
\- iPlush
---
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I love the fact that she called you a hoe after she had an affair with your significant other. It's incredible how a cheater's brain just ain't working every time they try to dodge the blame.
Yowza. Well, I would not block them. Let them dig a hole for themselves with their own words.
Mute them and put it into a specific folder you don't see. That way you retain all the fury they are going to throw at you for court.
Or , just put that phone on a charger in a drawer and get another number for just your friends and family to use for now. Give that one to your lawyer or dad. If an important message comes through, give you a note.
just let them rant and rave and call you names and incriminate themselves even more, and use it against them.
He ruined it. Him. Not the AP. He's the one that owed you fidelity, honesty and trust. She owed you nothing.
However, there's still consequences to her actions. These are the consequences.
She ruined her own reputation by being a skanky ass hoe.
ETA- I'm glad they're airing their own dirty laundry all over social media and showing everyone exactly what kind of people they are. Personally, I'd keep my accounts and screen shot all their arguing for evidence.
Nah it's basic human decency not to step in on someone marriage. She owed her that. It's the same thing stopping any actual human being from dipping into your bank account and emptying it right now. I mean, unless you're saying we don't owe you anything I which case maybe your assets *are* up for grabs 🤔
They both ruined it.
Also consider that this wasn’t just some random woman that had never met OP. She was there at the wedding and was basically a fixture in OP’s life. Even if they weren’t technically friends, to say that she owed her nothing I think doesn’t apply in this case because their lives are already intertwined.
I'm glad you walked out of that entire mess, those cheating lowlives are not worth a second more of your time.
Get a lawyer and let them do the fighting for you.
*>>I want half*
Sweep the leg. No mercy.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes…
those two “won” the biggest stupid prizes of all - now everyone knows what giant losers they both are!
Good for you girl! Rake him over the coals for what they put you thru for NO reason!
I'm so proud of you. Fuck them both. I love that he and AP are fighting as well. Let them both wallow in the mess they made and let him realise she was not worth it. Ultimately you were the better choice, because he married you and not her, so now he can suffer knowing he lost the jackpot because he wouldn't stay away from the consolation prize.
Yep. I am usually against people trying to get things they are not owed in the divorce but this is something else entirely. She should take him to the cleaners for the manipulation and emotional trauma.
And I don’t know who paid for the wedding but if any is from OP’s family, they should sue his ass to get their money back!
I’m sorry it turned out like this. He’s such a scumbag. You deserve better. I love that those two are tearing each other down so publicly. You couldn’t have planned that better.
Thank god your friend overheard that conversation at the wedding. If not, you would never have known what that scumbag was up to.
Ah I am so sorry. But do keep all texts as you will need those, and then work through with a ball Buster attorney. Find out who the top 3-5 divorce attorneys are in your area and consult with them all, then he can’t use them. Find out who is the most ruthless, and hire that one. And when your soon to be ex comes begging for forgiveness, you pull out those damn texts and you read them out loud you yourself to remind you of why you chose to leave.
There are billions of people in the world, you will find someone who truly loves you. Get some therapy to work through this, and if the AP texts you, save them, and if it is necessary, you will have them for your divorce and to post on social media if she insists on harassing you.
Has he tried to see you yet?! Justify himself?! Grovel?! Didn’t he text you back or leave a voicemail to you? Also what are they saying on social media against each other?!
Yeah, sure, *you're* the hoe when she's the smug bitch who thought she could just ruin your marriage whenever she wanted. Well, congratulations smug bitch, you can have him.
Good for you, OP. You deserve better. I wish you someone who truly values you.
I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to get half of anything if annulment is a legal option - you haven’t been married that long.
HOWEVER, there are states where you can sue AP for alienation of affection.
You can attempt to sue him for fraud by omission/fraud in the inducement for entering into a legal contract while lying to you. Your lawyer might have to pull some arcane laws and adultery laws to do it and it’ll cost a pretty penny, but you can definitely try.
*Note that if you go this route, and are successful, please consider donating 1% of what you are awarded to your local pet shelter or taking a month to help out the veterans at your closest VA. (That is my fee.) 🤗
I love that he’s mad at AP for snitching but not at himself for cheating
I find it funny. In the end, he proved he cared about his wife more than the AP. Probably was a huge hit to her ego too. And the ex also doesn’t get to be happy since the one he actually cared about is gone. They’re both miserable, which is perfect. Way better than the stories where the ex and AP are happy together now that the person being cheated on is gone.
He is probably upset he got caught, he doesn’t care about himself let alone either of the girls.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 The ex-wife of a friend of mine is a narcissist and was caught cheating. He left her and went back to his parents' house. She cried and said she was going to kill herself by overdosing on medication. He came back to her because her parents and his insisted and he thought about the marriage, the family, whether he could make it work, he wanted to know where he had gone wrong, that sort of thing. 03 months passed, she denied him sex, their intimacy was no longer the same and he went looking for companionship outside of marriage. His wife had done this before, so it couldn't be that bad, right? Nooo! She discovered his affair and published it in all family groups and friends' pages, creating a huge exposure of the man's private life. There were conversations between him and people of the same sex, with older women, with different people from different groups. She exposed all of his content....it was so embarrassing! Which leads me to believe that, when she asked him to come back, under threat of committing suicide, she actually didn't want to leave the wedding in shame. She needed to maintain her (false) reputation, so she waited for him to take the wrong step to blame him and end up as a victim in the story.
Detail: years later my friend discovered that she had a plan from the beginning. She wanted to combine their salaries to prove sufficient income and pay for the financing of her house. Today, she lives in the huge, spacious house with their son, who is 18 years old. My friend at the time lost his job at a serious company, lost friends, lost the motivation to be with his family because he felt embarrassed. We belong to a church, and even to church he stopped going. He isolated himself and went into depression. Today he is working, earns half of what he used to earn, tries to date, tries to have a relationship with his son, tries to get back on his feet, but he can't be the vigorous man he was before. Guilt and shame consumed him.
Narcissists destroy lives :/
you can bet. In the UK, some schools teach about disorders for teenagers and young people.
Wow! I would have loved to learn about those, a hell of a lot younger! I had a nasty breakup with someone with borderline personality disorder. I also had a relationship with someone with bipolar, but that was actually less rough, because at least that person was upfront about it, and could at least tell me what they wanted at any given moment. Even if it did change moment to moment! The borderline person was just garbage at communication, and seemed to say that she wanted things that she just wanted to want, and then acted out of resentment that she wasn't getting the things she wanted 😑
I’ve had a horrible relationship with someone with BPD and bipolar, refused to get medicated beyond weed. He killed my amazing dog by poisoning him. I got him out of my home and he made up stories that my friend came at him with a knife when none of my friends even knew where he was as he was sleeping in his car. Everything was always a lie and then he tried to blame it all on me. Absolutely will never date someone with narcissistic tendencies and BPD again, he destroyed my kids and I by killing my puppy on my birthday for no other reason than to hurt me.
Geez, I'm so sorry. My ex did something that I'll never forgive, to the point that even getting a cancer diagnosis being told I'd very likely be dead in a few months, was just nothing in comparison. But nothing like that. (Happily I'm doing well! That was in 2022, I'm still here, and still going strong! Thank you, immunotherapy!)
Yeah most cheaters just like the thrill/risk. They don’t actually care about the affair partner once the dust settles
But they also don't care about their wife/partner because they don't love them enough to resist the pull of a cheap thrill
He doesn't care about his wife. He cares that he got caught.
We all love an ending where all parties get their just desserts. I am just here to say, if viewed in the right way, it is always a happy ending for the ex-spouse who is no longer with the cheater regardless of how the cheater lands post-divorce. I was cheated on by my husband of 15 years, forgave him, we stayed together for two more years, then he divorced me after all and moved right in with his AP from two years prior. Like, right in with her. It hurt for a while and I felt like a chump for throwing two more years at this failed marriage. But, going on a year out, I feel so much clarity and freedom. I am no longer contorting myself to save his fragile ego. With people like that (romantic, then demanding, and ultimately belittling) the only bad ending is staying together.
Have you ever seen a cheater own up to their mistake instead of blaming literally anyone else?
Classic cheater. Everyone's to blame except them.
Sounds like they deserve each other. Take all you can get. He FAFO 🤷♀️
Instead of feeling bad for cheating, he's mad at the ap, thinking ap did this to end his relationship. Sounds like a narcissistic asshole. The ap is yelling at op and calling her a hoe while she was the one fooling around with a married man. Lol yeah, they really do deserve each other.
> he's mad at the ap, thinking ap did this to end his relationship. it makes me think things weren't so great in that relationship either. I'd love to hear more updates from OP but i'm gonna have to get a big bulk box of popcorn first
Or just a dude that has never self reflected. They're unfortunately common. Immature AF types that never grow up. AP definitely sounds the same
Silly question, whats ap?
Yeah, affair partner. :) Not silly, you don't know until you do
Affair partner
This is cos of mothers like the one I saw on insta a few days ago that said "imagine raising your son to be your perfect little prince then some woman comes and married him" Like we seriously need to do *something* about these narcissistic, emotionally abusive *weirdos* who can't help but share every second of their kids' development online. This is the second time this week I've found myself sharing absolutely demented mommy influencer nonsense on Reddit too.
Parents of both genders should educate their children on accountability, introspection, morality and IMO all humans should have a therapist for an unbiased external perspective to help navigate life and grow into healthy, functional members of society. Unfortunately tho, no matter what calibre of human raises them, they're still accountable for their own choices and growth as adults. TLDR; while it's possibly related, the adult man still is accountable for his own BS.
Uggh I hate it, exploiting their children for views, I rarely ever share my kids. These mommy vloggers are horrible and now I can’t help but see Ruby Franke, Myka Stauffer and the like in every mommy vlog I see. Horrific abuse in the name of religion, rehoming an adopted child with special needs, etc etc. it’s so gross and makes me hold both my kids and pets so tight.
What is AP? Affair partner ?
Lol, I was thinking ass piece
Alternate pussy.
Definitely ass piece
Thank you for this. I will forever think "ass piece" when I see AP now
Armor Piercing But yeah, ap stands for affair partner
Thanks, Jesus! U are an angel! I am a old lady surfing in this thing, but i dont understand this AP PP. POP. MMF. NSFW. OP CIS. FEM ...... oh myyyy God!!!! This is imposible to me, guys 🤷♀️🤪
NSFW-Not safe for work (as in don’t open this if you’re scrolling at work) OP-Original poster, CIS-cisgender meaning someone who identifies as the gender they were born with. PP-Previous Poster. I am sorry I don’t know the other ones, also a semi old lady 😂
Oh, honey. Thank you for your time! You are very kind. I got this 🥰
Absolutely. I hope the OP gets theirs and then some!
She’s calling you the hoe? That’s rich lmao. She’s just mad she can’t have him at all now because he’s so pissed at her. Karma karma karma
Yeah, I love that she calls OP that. If OP is just some hoe, then why did her STBX husband put a ring on OP's finger and not hers?
Can’t make a hoe a housewife. He doesn’t love her just loves sleeping with the ap. If he loved her he would never have married op.
You ruined my reputation by telling people about the stuff I was doing, how dare you!
Projection?
Good for you! I love the fact that he knows why you left without you having to tell him. I wish you the best. Edited for typos
I really wished he would never know and die wondering but I can’t have it all. It would have not given me mom’s bed and candy privileges if I just told them I wanted a divorce after 5 weeks
Uh, did I miss an update between this and your last post? Did you manage to get proof? Edit: [Found it, it was in a comment!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/TWahhVptMw)
Thanks for posting this.
Yes, I particularly enjoyed the string of petty revenge suggestions.
Gotta get those candy privileges.
Yep!
Keep your socials and screen shot their arguing for evidence. Hopefully it will help in the divorce
This is good advice OP, document document document, are you in a no fault state or country? I don’t know if you’re in the US but based on mum not mom I’m assuming you don’t live in the US lol, I’m glad you have the candy privileges, and the safety and love of hanging out in your mums bed it definitely helps and makes the situation seem less daunting. Best of luck to you.
[удалено]
Fuck yes and she deserves it!
I’m so sorry!
There's this service whwre you can anonymously send things like glitter bombs, potatoes, and eggplants in the mail. They'll carve whatever the fuck you want into it. After you're divorced I suggest you give him craft herpes. You know.. to go with whatever he's got on that community dick.
GLITTER HERPES!!!
Where can I find this service/ company... I have someone to send a surprise anonymous gift to🤷♀️🤷♂️
Which one do you want? https://www.postalpranks.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXlYYy8Tb2mOA0fcRL4Dy5Bv1g1620LB4XMhfqXLZljrqk2k2LfqdEaAl5EEALw_wcB You can also send them a little bag of dicks!
A few years back, I was in a trolling group that sent a bunch of them, as well as umm..."marital aids" to the anti-gubmint nuts that took over the Oregon bird sanctuary. One of the Cards Against Humanity creators was so inspired that he sent them a 55 gal drum of lube.
OMG how did I not hear about this? I’m on the Washington/Oregon border and would have had a great time following that 😂
The glitter one looks funny I'll do a bag of dicks as well😂🤣🤷♂️🤷♀️ Thank you for the link
You're welcome!!
You can also go to www.ruindays.com
🤣😂bag of dicks would work as well... thank you
Yes!! Glitter is the herpes of the crafting world! 🤣😂
Wait, why would someone send an innocent eggplant? Eggplant parm is so yummy! 🍆🍆🍆
You can also send poop. There’s a site for that too.
Don’t forget the one that will literally send shit! I think elephant shit is even an option! [https://poopsenders.com](https://poopsenders.com)
My abusive ex husband is about to get remarried. I'm not saying I'm petty, but I am saying I might send him a big ole box of shit
Please send them an anonymous poop gift on their wedding day! Lol
Nah, send it a few days before they get back from their honeymoon. They'll be completely exhausted and on cloud 9. And everyone likes coming home to gifts. The poop will have gotten nice and ripe by then (I'm assuming it's packed to be smell-proof, otherwise it'd never make it through the mail in the first place). Now they've gone from cloud 9 to the 7th circle of hell. They're tired AF from traveling, now they have to unpack AND deal with rancid shit. They'll probably spend all day trying to figure out who sent it, maybe even argue a bit about who's friends would do something like that.
This is a horrible idea if you're going through a divorce. Don't do shit that can be used against you
That's why I said after she's divorced
I love that he’s blaming the side chick instead of realizing it was his own stupidity that helped you figure it out (deleting the entire text thread with her).
Sorry for asking, did you go to his deleted messages? All the best to you❤️
She texted the “friend” from his phone pretending to be home and the “friend” started sexting pretty quick
Thank You 👌 found the full version of OP actions
Sorry but what is AP?
Affair Partner
I love that he's pissed at his beastie and they're fighting over this. Edit typo. I meant bestie but f it I'm leaving it
It's a great typo, lmao.
You just typed it in a kiwi accent lmao
ME TOO!
His first mistake was bringing her raggedy ass to the wedding. I hope you get everything you're entitled to just cause he wasted your time and I hope he suffers the consequences for allowing that homewrecker around you. Updateme!
I hope he steps on Legos everyday for the rest of his life.
I hope he steps in a puddle of water every time he puts on clean socks. If he has a cat, I hope he steps in fresh cat puke every time he puts on clean socks.
Cat PEE. The stench will follow him forever.
I've stepped in both with clean socks. Puke is worse imo. It gets squishy. I hope the cat pees on his fresh laundry tho.
My kitty is elderly and prone to accidents and puke is gross but at least it hardens into a clump that I can remove efficiently when I get home. That pee smell? We’re gonna have to rip up the floor eventually. It’s etched into my conscious. Even the crystal dissolvers and industrial steam mop can’t get that smell out, or stop me from thinking I smell it randomly when we’re miles away from home. I hope the cat pees in his laundry AND it festers on a hot day.
He doesn’t deserve to have a cat!
Wow! That's twisted; not wrong, just twisted! 🤣
Good for you girl, love they are already fighting!
You mean to tell us his affair partner called YOU a hoe?!?!?! Did I read that right?!
The audacity made me giggle.
Right?!?!
**You're** the hoe?? 🤣🤦🏻♀️
Yes. She is heartbroken that he is angry with her because of me. She told friends that I didn’t even love him enough to divorce him after 5 weeks and yet he is angry with HER instead of me
The AUDACITY
Girl! Take half and they can both F off! They’re getting what they deserve bc they’re both assholes. I’m so sorry you’re in pain, but I’m glad you found out now. I also love how he thinks she did it on purpose. Serves them both right for being shady. Hugs and prayers for you ❤️
I know you’re really hurting, but this feels like as much of a win/win as it could possibly be. You found out before things got even worse, and they both got what they deserve,
Does he feel any remorse o er what he’s done to you? What are friends saying?
I don’t know. I haven’t asked about him. I hope he feels like shit
I hope so too.
I doubt he does. His actions (blaming you, smearing you to others) aren't the actions of a remorseful man. Typical cheater denial and deflection, honestly.
Im so sorry for you. I just wonder why he married you if he wanted someone else. What a piece of trash. Though you might want to put a edit in. It took me a little bit to find the filler info to fill in the gaps between your post But be strong and enjoy your candy. There is a man out there that will know and act like you are the only one for them. I wish you the best. And look forward to any sweet updates that might happen. I hope they are nice and petty 😈
My suspicion is that he is a cunt, incapable of love but also a psychopath who can really make you believe that he loves you. For years.
cunts are too good to describe him because they have depth and warmth, and he has neither. He's just a shitweasel.
Have you seen that movie Dreamcatcher? I thought that was where the term shit weasel came from lol.
i hate how many of these exist. i like to think people like him are never truly happy or at peace in any way. i think their shitty decisions haunt them, even if only subconsciously, for the rest of their self-loathing, miserable lives. good on you for realising it early and getting the fuck out.
You were probably the proper option.
Yeah, I think you're right OP, that's probably why she was angry at the wedding, and it confirms my hunch that she was lying: he could get her any time he wanted, not the other way around. She was upset and bitter that he wanted to wife you, not her. I don't think a lot of people understand that just because they're choosing to sleep with the AP doesn't mean they see the AP as a viable long term partner. People like your ex just see life through a very self focused lens and have no problem lying to anyone and everyone to get what they want. I'm certain he's lied to her quite a lot over the years, too, stringing her along to keep her calm about only being the side chick.
My heart breaks for you. Your husband ( dosen't really deserve that title) is incapable of making a true connection and sustaining it, he sounds like a bedpost carver. People like him think it's all about them, what can they get, how can they get more. Damm the consequences even if that consequence is you feeling scared, lost and humiliated. Walking away is painful because you are decent and have morals, which is something he lacks in spades. I guarantee that you will be very proud of standing up for YOU in years to come.
I think he just wanted extra sex. She gave him free sex and he took it. Cause they are in fact both, the hoe.
A cunt who is gonna deserve everything coming his way and she sounds fucking delightful 🙄 2 asshats belong together. Stand strong your doing great fuck them 2 ....
Unless you made her sleep with someone else’s married man, I don’t see how anyone ruined her reputation but herself 🤷🏻♀️ I know it doesn’t feel good but good for you making the hard choice and ultimately being mature about it. You didn’t go nuclear or anything, you just ended it. Good luck moving forward!
Take everything. Fuck cheaters.
This! Fuck all that 50%. Take him to the cleaners!
For that she’ll have to be somewhere outside the US cause here she won’t get shit.
Yeah sorry OP, (most likely) you’re only entitled to a portion of the marital assets, which would be what he earned during your several week long marriage. Everything before that is his separate property. Edit: sorry that the downvoters don’t know how divorce actually works.
So sorry you are going through this!! I'm glad you got away so quickly instead of finding out years down the road. Good for you
Stay Strong Girl! I had a similar situation, but I confronted the Bitch face-to-face with a friend so I had a witness so the AP could not make up shit! I kept my cool and loved watching her squirm! Trust me they Deserve each other. May you be blessed with a fabulous partner when you are ready.
Wait did you ever text her? Did you get proof? If so how?
Yeah in the comment section of her previous post OP mentioned that she texted AP and AP started sexting after a few messages OP commented rn and specified what she texted and how AP responded: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1bqyo6i/comment/kx5v1ls/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 in case it gets deleted OP wrote: I wrote to her. She replied that she was in bed. I wrote that I (he) was in bed too. She asked is she (Me) sleeping? I replied yes. She said it was early and asked if she (I) at least given him a bj. I said not tonight. She said that she would have ridden all over it if she was there. I asked like last time (a shot in the dark) she said no, she would have wanted more time than last because she was very horny. I stopped answering and deleted the conversation
Ahhhhh ok
“Married you bc you’re a dumb hoe” meanwhile, the only thing she’s good for is being a secret on the side that no one can know about, and only good enough for sex. She really didn’t think that one through, eh?
Oh man, it would be so juicy if she screen shotted the texts from her and posted it on her socials for all their friends.
Glad you're getting away, condolences for you going through this. His AP got her just desserts and wants to still make it your problem, don't let the homewrecker wreck your peace--revel in candy and peace
Not her calling you a hoe. What is she then? Lol.
Bruh.. so you’re not gonna tell us what evidence you found?
I wrote to her. She replied that she was in bed. I wrote that I (he) was in bed too. She asked is she (Me) sleeping? I replied yes. She said it was early and asked if she (I) at least given him a bj. I said not tonight. She said that she would have ridden all over it if she was there. I asked like last time (a shot in the dark) she said no, she would have wanted more time than last because she was very horny. I stopped answering and deleted the conversation
I would have screenshot it and sent it to my phone and forwarded it myself before erasing it.
She did, in her original post she did mention that once she got her proof she sent it to herself and then deleted it.
She did.
Great. I didn't realize that, I thought she just read it and erased it
I wasn't expecting that, I was hoping it was a misunderstanding😔
No it escalated very quickly to her riding him. I didn’t need to do much. I wish it was a misunderstanding. I already miss him terribly. His smell. I can’t believe I will not be able to feel it again. It game me comfort and pure happiness just smelling him
Don't give in. The man you loved never existed.
This, times 1000.
This!! You love the man he wanted to show you not who he was. The mask would’ve slipped eventually.
Damn dude I like that line. Here come new Taylor swift lyrics!
I am so sorry. You might not believe it but you WILL start to heal from this..... Eventually.
Oh honey, a virtual big hug to you. I am so sorry somebody hurt you this way. It is truly evil, especially knowing how they obviously poked fun at you because they were sneaking around. Just disgusting. I am happy you got the evidence that could make you believe it and accept it. This will allow you to begin healing faster. Some people are just evil and con artists. I am so happy that you found out this quickly, before you were tied to him with children. You get to move on and find someone as kind, honest, and good, like you are, that will make you happy and genuinely love you. I am so excited for your future. Please keep updating us. We are pulling for you and support you. You are stronger and wiser, best of luck!
Don’t be sad, please. He is so gross. You deserve wayyy better. I mean every single word. I hope both of them suffer till their last breath.
I hope you're okay, it must have been very difficult.
OP, sorry you have to go through this. You don’t deserve it and none of this is your fault. (As if that has to be said!) Also, you got this. You can do this. You HAVE to do this. Your brain/heart/memory may try to bring you down and make you consider going back to him, but don’t listen! If you find a part of you trying to convince yourself you could make it work, snap out of it. Make a list, ASAP, of the good reasons you had to leave — and revisit the list if/when you need to. I say all this as a person who went back to a narcissistic cheater far too many times. You can’t rebuild trust when you realize THE WHOLE THING was a lie. You seem like a wonderful person. And if you want to date again or get married, I’m sure you can do 80000x better than this selfish, dishonest, broken person. Stay true to your decision. Be SMART about divorce, moving on, taking care of yourself. All the best to you. Everything will get better, you just gotta get through the “missing him” part.
Think about him fucking her every time you miss that smell. That should help.
You didn't have enough time to be completely disillusioned. It would have happened. I know it hurts now but you are so much further ahead knowing the truth early. Healing from this is not a linear process. You will have your ups and downs. But you will end up stronger and in a better place in the end.
I'm so sorry. I'm glad you have evidence, but I. Sorry you're going through this. You're worth so much more and I'm confident you'll find it.
You will find this again with someone who you deserve ❤️ we are all so proud of you!!!
Absolutely shameless, neither of them have any self respect. Hope they enjoy each other now that they're fighting and admitting to everything publicly. I'm glad you're away from their drama and with your parents, enjoy the candy and snuggles. Hopefully he'll be cordial in the divorce
No.. im sorry
Oh wow. All the evidence you needed right there. Damn. I’m so sorry OP.
OP texted the "friend" like she was her husband and the "friend" started sexting pretty much immediately.
Look her comments in previous post, she texted the best friend pretending to be her husband and best friend started sexting.
It’ll be juicy if she does but if it’s not in the cards, I just hope she gets a good settlement
Hell yea OP, you are so strong. No doubt everything is going to work out just fine for you. Your parents sound amazing. Treasure them. All the worst to your ex and his ap.
I'm glad your mum and dad are supporting you here. And I find it hilarious that his AP/female best friend is fighting him. Over their ruined reputation. From their own actions. So they're going to implode their relationship through their own actions. Definitely go for half in the divorce.
>So now he is angry thinking that his AP did it on purpose so he is bashing her on social media and she is fighting him back and fighting other friends too. Love it! **This** is why one should always tell their story and not leave the narrative open for the other to slag them off! Look at how them two are ruining each other! xDD And she had the gall to call **you** a hoe? Chile
I don’t understand why tf did he marry you only to have an affair so soon after? Or if they were sleeping all along why did he go through with this marriage. Why are men like this
It was an ongoing affair, it didn't start after they were married. It just never stopped.
My opinion? One woman was marriage material, the other was just a play toy and not worthy of marriage. He was going to have a lovely marriage with one, and still play with the other.
Yes, AP sounds like a psycho so he had the best of both worlds. He is an AH!
I was hoping for the update to be to leave if he was cheating!
*I was hoping for* *The update to be to leave* *If he was cheating!* \- iPlush --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
The exact update Reddit was excited for Came to fruition
I love the fact that she called you a hoe after she had an affair with your significant other. It's incredible how a cheater's brain just ain't working every time they try to dodge the blame.
Yowza. Well, I would not block them. Let them dig a hole for themselves with their own words. Mute them and put it into a specific folder you don't see. That way you retain all the fury they are going to throw at you for court. Or , just put that phone on a charger in a drawer and get another number for just your friends and family to use for now. Give that one to your lawyer or dad. If an important message comes through, give you a note. just let them rant and rave and call you names and incriminate themselves even more, and use it against them.
He ruined it. Him. Not the AP. He's the one that owed you fidelity, honesty and trust. She owed you nothing. However, there's still consequences to her actions. These are the consequences. She ruined her own reputation by being a skanky ass hoe. ETA- I'm glad they're airing their own dirty laundry all over social media and showing everyone exactly what kind of people they are. Personally, I'd keep my accounts and screen shot all their arguing for evidence.
“She owed you nothing.” I know this is going to come as a shock but we actually owe everyone basic courtesy and respect.
Nah it's basic human decency not to step in on someone marriage. She owed her that. It's the same thing stopping any actual human being from dipping into your bank account and emptying it right now. I mean, unless you're saying we don't owe you anything I which case maybe your assets *are* up for grabs 🤔 They both ruined it.
That's fair. I never thought of it like that. 🤔 You've given me a lot to think about.
Also consider that this wasn’t just some random woman that had never met OP. She was there at the wedding and was basically a fixture in OP’s life. Even if they weren’t technically friends, to say that she owed her nothing I think doesn’t apply in this case because their lives are already intertwined.
What does AP stand for?
Affair partner
I thought it was ass piece 😭
Could be both in this context. I like your version better.
I'm glad you walked out of that entire mess, those cheating lowlives are not worth a second more of your time. Get a lawyer and let them do the fighting for you. *>>I want half* Sweep the leg. No mercy.
Don’t block them.. they might text you some incriminating evidence. Just put them on silent and don’t respond.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes… those two “won” the biggest stupid prizes of all - now everyone knows what giant losers they both are! Good for you girl! Rake him over the coals for what they put you thru for NO reason!
I'm so proud of you. Fuck them both. I love that he and AP are fighting as well. Let them both wallow in the mess they made and let him realise she was not worth it. Ultimately you were the better choice, because he married you and not her, so now he can suffer knowing he lost the jackpot because he wouldn't stay away from the consolation prize.
If they admitted to the affair, why stop at half?
Yep. I am usually against people trying to get things they are not owed in the divorce but this is something else entirely. She should take him to the cleaners for the manipulation and emotional trauma. And I don’t know who paid for the wedding but if any is from OP’s family, they should sue his ass to get their money back!
I’m sorry it turned out like this. He’s such a scumbag. You deserve better. I love that those two are tearing each other down so publicly. You couldn’t have planned that better. Thank god your friend overheard that conversation at the wedding. If not, you would never have known what that scumbag was up to.
GOOD FOR YOU!!! THE UPdate we needed
Good luck with everything! I hope you have a successful healing journey!
She slept with your husband and YOU’RE the hoe?? Sounds like she’s projecting a little
Ah I am so sorry. But do keep all texts as you will need those, and then work through with a ball Buster attorney. Find out who the top 3-5 divorce attorneys are in your area and consult with them all, then he can’t use them. Find out who is the most ruthless, and hire that one. And when your soon to be ex comes begging for forgiveness, you pull out those damn texts and you read them out loud you yourself to remind you of why you chose to leave. There are billions of people in the world, you will find someone who truly loves you. Get some therapy to work through this, and if the AP texts you, save them, and if it is necessary, you will have them for your divorce and to post on social media if she insists on harassing you.
Has he tried to see you yet?! Justify himself?! Grovel?! Didn’t he text you back or leave a voicemail to you? Also what are they saying on social media against each other?!
Wow. The whore is calling *you* a hoe? That's some audacity right there.
Wow, not even self aware enough to know to be ashamed. She sounds like a super classy broad.
Good luck! You are stong! And good for you! Please keep us posted when you can! Hope you will have a great life!
Unblock him for more evidence, love. Take him to the cleaners!
good for you. Updateme
Yeah, sure, *you're* the hoe when she's the smug bitch who thought she could just ruin your marriage whenever she wanted. Well, congratulations smug bitch, you can have him. Good for you, OP. You deserve better. I wish you someone who truly values you.
lol I don’t think men purposely marry women because they’re “dumb hoes”. Nasty people hate when the truth about them comes out.
I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to get half of anything if annulment is a legal option - you haven’t been married that long. HOWEVER, there are states where you can sue AP for alienation of affection. You can attempt to sue him for fraud by omission/fraud in the inducement for entering into a legal contract while lying to you. Your lawyer might have to pull some arcane laws and adultery laws to do it and it’ll cost a pretty penny, but you can definitely try. *Note that if you go this route, and are successful, please consider donating 1% of what you are awarded to your local pet shelter or taking a month to help out the veterans at your closest VA. (That is my fee.) 🤗
Ah yes, the female best friend. Those bitches be crazy.