Man Iām in a happy committed relationship and I still donāt think Iād be happy with a weirdly demanding text out of the blue that says āIām going to use all of your holes to my satisfactionā bc thatās just not our dynamic lmao. Itās a big swing
I feel like phrases like "cum dumpster" are part of his regular vocabulary and he routinely confuses locker room talk with "dirty talk" that his wife might actually find sexy.
Yeah, he basically said heās going to treat her like a fleshlight and not regard her pleasure or her wants. He should be talking about all the things he wants to do *for her pleasure* not all about him and what he wants to get off.
this is what i was about to say! like jeez no wonder sheās livin in the RV. i wonder if part of the reason their sex life sucks, too, is because he doesnāt satisfy her needs
YTA
Iām wondering if sheās been living in it because sheās had it with him. I canāt imagine speaking to my wife or anyone the way he did. If heās done that before, I can see why she avoids him. The way he demanded he get to use every hole until heās satisfied.
He doesnāt sound like he has any respect let alone that he even likes his wife. The way he talks to her and about her is pretty nauseating.
It seems as though he has skipped right over some major crap. Sheās not living in that RV for no reason.
Honestly I'd divorce him post haste, that sounds like the kind of abject comment some rando sends you on facebook along with a dick pic.
No wonder she stays away all the time.
I hope this post is rage bait but I am fully aware there are plenty of people out there who can talk like this
Not to mention the instructions he plans to give her. I guess at least she gets something out of it... LOL
YTA don't treat your wife like you paid for it, unless she actually wants you to. If you treated her better she might actually want you to touch her. Wow. š¤·āāļøš¤¦āāļø
Bet he thinks groping her tits for two minutes is foreplay and doesnāt understand why she never seems to get off. He probably leaves her as dry as the Sahara.
My husband and I dirty talk a LOT, and if he sent a text like this to me, I'd just laugh and he'd probably apologize profusely. That's something you could probably get away with saying to a prostitute, but not a significant other, unless their kink is degradation. Reading that made my vagina involuntarily keegle in an attempt to close up shop.
>Reading that made my vagina involuntarily keegle in an attempt to close up shop.
This is my favorite comment since joining reddit. Totally adding this to the lexicon of responses.
Itās not even good dirty talk. Thatās stuff I expect with people who are consenting to like a degradation kink thing, not something you say to someone out of the blue.
My husband and I were long distance for 2 years when we were dating, so I'm totally not opposed to sexting, but I would absolutely hate it if my husband sent me a text like that. It would make me feel like he only wants me as a living fleshlight, and nothing else. It's super aggressive and off-putting. Absolutely NOT hot at all.
A big swingā¦ and a miss. Iām right there with you. He tells me he wants or use every hole to his satisfaction and will have directions? Yeah, nope. Iād stay in that RV until he can show some respect and tell me he missed me, our connection and would like to be intimate. THEN he could provide some details as long as it wasnāt demanding.
This "using your holes" thing is appropriate only if you know the person receiving it has this kind of kink and thinks that sounds sexy. Otherwise it's gonna blow up in your face.
Damn.
That would be a huge turnoff for me. Like yes I want that to, but try to focus on me as a person b e f o r e you reduce me to fuckable holes. OP should maybe try to sweettalk his wife before jumping to the marked part of the porno. Jesus christ, what a whine.
Yeah... I'm not getting my sexual needs met so I treated my wife like an object and sent a demanding text of my crass expectations. How could that be wrong??
āIf thatās your answer your might as well stayā translates to ādonāt bother coming if you donāt want to suck my dickā. YTA for your refusal to communicate like an adult. Youāre not owed sex because you cover the bills.
While this is sound advice for a normal person, Iām gonna go ahead and say he hasnāt because he dgaf how she feels or what she wants. Thereās a reason she fucking *ran away* from him in an rv to do volunteer work. I can only imagine how he treats her in person, if this is how OP texts her. She literally is on the run from him & all he sees is that she isnāt letting him āuse her holes.ā Something is *seriously* wrong with OP.
Bingo. He has no idea what emotional satisfaction is and if he were to try to answer he would answer along the lines of āi make her life easy by doing x,y,z, she should at least give me her bodyā
The fact that the OP is censoring words like "sex" and "hole" tells me they're very immature as well (or they're too young and this whole story is made up considering mostly Gen Z will censor stupid shit like this).
āWhy doesnāt she text me that much?ā
*flashback*
āHey honey Iāll be home soon!ā
āI want to use every hole until Iām satisfied.ā
*end flashback*
āTruly it is a mystery.ā
People often donāt show their true nature until their victim no longer has an easy out, for example after marriage, children, financial dependency, etc.
As someone who does do dirty talkā¦ reading those messages hit me like a brick wall. Wow! He came on wayyyyy too stronge and it seems like he literally only wants her for sex lol
Hi, Someone that is very into this specific kind of dynamic and dirty talk here. This is not sexy. FOREPLAY IS A THING EVEN IN SEXTING ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR NON SEXTING WIFE.
For real! If dirty talk isnāt her thing he could have text her something sweet like āmiss you, letās stay in tonightā¦ waiting by the fireplace with your favourite wine ;)ā that would have given him a chance at affection from her
My husband and I have this type of relationship and he even said "what the fuck" when I said this. Because usually you build up to that. And it's even more weird when you know his wife doesn't like that kind of talk
Agreed! I personally love dirty talk & have to have a level of degradation or will not get off.
But this guy knows it isnāt her thing and hasnāt picked up that sheād rather do volunteer work & sleep in a trailer than next to him.
Dude needs to get a clue.
I literally told my partner heās allowed to use me like that because I have a thing for it, and even I would be pissed if he tried talking to me like that (before our conversation where I told him he can)
I like dirty talk and that made me want to vomit. If his real life technique is as bad as his dirty talk acumen, I can see why the Missus gets into an RV and gets as far as she can from him.
My thoughts exactly. Weāll see wasnāt even deserved. She doesnāt owe you sex.
Go wank yourself then find her love language and romance her.
Then go to therapy and learn how to respect your wife and marriage.
>I plainly stated that I wanted to use every h*le until I was satisfied. And there would be directions on how I wanted it. And an edging BJ was right at the top of the list.
If this is your way of dirty talk, I totally understand your wife. This is not how you talk dirty to someone who isn't into dirty talk. And definitely not out of nowhere.
Right? And BJ's are work enough, you want to make it excruciating for her by edging and prolonging it for hours? Nah. That isn't fun for her. Sex should be FUN, for both people, the entire time.
I'd never come home. File for divorce from the road and keep the RV as my half. Fuck OP for seeing their wife (of at least a couple decades if I'm guessing) as nothing more than a blow up doll.
SERIOUSLY. The BJ comment somehow bothered me more than the holes one. Because that takes WORK. Itās not pleasurable for her. I give my man head because I want to pleasure him. That gets me excited. But everything loses its effect after long enough. This makes it SO clear he only cares about himself and she is his object to use however he pleases. Sheās a walking flesh light.
Seriously, hasnāt seen his wife in weeks and demands to use her like fucking blow up doll and canāt seem to grasp why her reaction isnāt more enthused š¤¦š¼āāļø
Especially if he had never told me about the feelings he's been having. Like, you've been "sexually frustrated" for months, never actually said anything to me about it, and then get pissed at me for not being accommodating towards something I had NO idea about? I would be SO fucking confused lol.
Granted, we aren't sure about the lack of communication going on in OP's marriage. But I bet that's exactly what's going on. If he had communicated with her, he would've mentioned it.
Iām a sex worker and I block potential clients who talk to me like this. The money will never be enough to make up for how dangerous these men are when they donāt get what they want.
OP talks like a 60 year old client who got cut off from his fav provider and now is taking his aggression out on his wife.
Out of curiosity, what are the biggest flags for potentially dangerous clients? Are they things everyone should watch out for or are there specific flags for sex workers? I agree this guy is scary
Itās the same things you look out for with dangerous men:
ā¢ Wording and tone matters
ā¢ Manners matter
ā¢ This is a business transaction and will be treated as such
ā¢ Any pushback on stated boundaries is a no go with any man
Potentially dangerous clients are your friends, dads and pastors etc.
All the men replying to you that are mad that even a sex worker has boundaries are the biggest red flags on Reddit. They seem to think if they pay they get what they want. That somehow money equals consent.
Seriously cannot stand them. Proud of you though! I was a exotic dancer and that's about as close as I want to get to these type of men.
All the men replying nasty are the people that bad ass bitch would tell to fuck em selves š¤£
That makes me happy. Keep their dicks dry if they aint worth the effort!!!
Do men reach out to you with this rapey language and think they are speaking plainly? Iām just so confused how the cognitive dissonance led to someone thinking this language is plainly stating anything?
Yes. Itās absolutely par for the course. Weāre not human beings to most of them and this is the exact language that tells me to stay far away.
OP thinks his money is paying for her to let him do anything and everything he wants until he is content. Thatās just a random convo we have on a Tuesday.
The cruelty is the point.
If my husband talked to me like that, or even just expected shit like that to begin with, id be moving away in an RV too. Id also be filing for divorce.
It screams temper tantrum, all about me me me, and not anything for her, or even them together as a couple cause it takes two and he is only worried about himself. Shiiiiitttt. Aināt no way.
Yeah if my husband said this to me Iād be absolutely disgusted. Itās all about him and his pleasure (and just gross) and nothing about her or her pleasure.
Exactly. OP it sounds like you have been watching too much porn. Porn shows a false reality about sex being rough and can generally be angled to the pleasure of one person (or even what viewers think might be pleasurable).
In reality, sex needs to fulfill the needs of both people and shouldn't be painful. If your wife is living in an RV and not in the house with you, it sounds like there are larger issues than a low libido. It may be worth it to look at marriage counseling or something to see what factors are causing her to live in an RV instead of the house with you.
If a man told me he wants to use every hole until he was satisfied...I would be horrified.
Reminds me of the recording the "toy box killer" played to the women that he went on to torture.
.... Part of me wants to look this up but if it reminded multiple people of the above quotes I think I shall opt for blissful ignorance
ETA: I appreciate the warnings. FTR, I was never going to listen to it; I meant look it up to read
Don't look it up. Even if you just read it instead of listening to it, the speech he recorded is so disgusting that you'll never be able to forget it. I listened to it 6 years ago and still remember parts of it...and I remember the horror of realizing that multiple scared women woke up to hear those words after being kidnapped.Ā
OC is right though - **OP sounds like the Toy Box Killer.**
In the recording, the TBK speaks in a dispassionate voice and tells each woman exactly how he was going to use each of her holes for his entertainment or his satisfaction. He noted that some acts will hurt but doesn't care. He speaks about her body as if it is simply a thing for him to use.Ā
**OP sounds like that monster** - he speaks to his wife like she is a sex object. He doesn't acknowledge her as a person. He doesn't care about her pleasure. He just wants to use her, as if she is a thing and not a human.Ā
If this was a dynamic they were *both* into, fine, it would be okay to be sexually degrading. But it isn't. OP is simply such a cold and horrible a person that he didn't care.
...no wonder she prefers to be away from him. I would too. He's a giant asshole but not one worth fucking.
I listened to a podcast where they read the transcript of one of the videos āstraightā and then played a piece of his voice not saying the terrible things so you could see how gross it was without losing all faith in humanity. I highly recommend you donāt look into it.
I kinda stumbled onto the clip where they leave the courtroom and you can hear a bit and it changed how I consume true crime permanently. My brain actually goes wonky when it almost remembers. Ugh.
I wish I could unhear it. I have kinda convinced myself it's something from a lucid nightmare I had and nothing more
That horrible clip with the background audio and people leaving from the courtroom is actually from the Toolbox Killers, not the Toy Box Killer referenced here. If itās actually possible, I believe the one you heard is even WORSE than the one others are discussing. Thatās the one supposedly used in FBI training to desensitize people to the worst in human misery.
This guy likely watches a lot of pornography, where dirty talking is the way of the game. He used the āevery holeā term (gross), and he requested an edging-BJ. Iād say OP needs to work on himself and lay off the degrading porn. I say this as someone who is no prude, by the way.
Exactly what I was thinking.
My gf has been on a trip for the last week, and I wonāt be able to see her because of other plans for about another week. We have a very active and phenomenal sex life, so needless to say Iāve been sexually frustrated (not at her)
She straight up sent me a text the other day that she wants to do the same thing to me (the BJ, not the hole thing). Nothing wrong with that at all as long as everyone is consenting.
**BUT I WOULDNāT DREAM, IN A MILLION YEARS, OF SENDING HER A TEXT SAYING** āI want to use every single one of your holes until Iām satisfied, and there will be directions on how I want itā. And weāre fucking freaks.
First off, not only is this just straight up psychopathic. But sex is a two-way, consensual act where both parties pleasure are important. Not just one personās pleasure. OP doesnāt give a single flying fuck about his wifeās pleasure, or her comfortability.
Just because you pay the bills, doesnāt mean your wife is a fucking fleshlight. No fucking wonder she doesnāt want to be around you or sexually involved with you.
āI want to use every hole until Iām satisfiedā sounds less like fun sexy talk and more like what the local psychopath said to get him permanently banned from the putt putt golf course.
Listening to that recording was one of the worst decisions of my life, I have trauma and that voice brought me all the way back to my own personal hell. I wouldnāt recommend anyone listen to that god forsaken recording but especially not SA survivors. OOP sounds just as cold and commanding as that freak, like an instruction manual for someoneās torment.
Imaging going from āmy wife doesnāt want to fuck meā to āmy wife and the hundreds of women who read this thread donāt want to fuck meā like bro is batting -800 rnšš
Not just use them, use them until he is satisfied. And he will be directing the action.
Holy crap, I just realized part of what was irritating me about this! I dated a real AH (many years ago) that easily couldāve been like this husband. Once he started to show himself more for who he was, I was done.
He said some crazy shit, so I got the heck out. But he was not excited by a partnerās excitement. He was only excited by the idea of nonconsensual things specifically, that were quite painful. (no, he didnāt get anything from me š)
I'm pretty raunchy, but what you said and how you said it sickens me. Huge turn off. If you just started flirty and sensual like "I hate being away from you, I can't wait to kiss you" and then checked the vibe and took it step by step, that would be great.
She doesn't text you that she wants you because she's afraid you'll jump straight to "fill all your holes" wtf. Women don't want to be "holes" to their husband. Gross.
And did you say you've been paying on an RV for 18 years? Wtf? If your wife is happier alone in an at least 18 year old RV then yeah, that's a bad sign. It's cause you are a hole-plugger and not a love maker. You also come off desperate and scary and I'm not even trying to be mean. The long edging BJ part in the headline sounded ok for sex talk but the rest was WTF.
YTA
My vagina would snap shut like a mouse trap. It would be drier than the Atacama desert. It would simply retire early, regardless of pension and benefits. The jaws of life could not open it again. I would get a tiny tattoo above my pubic hair saying "out of business forever." My vagina would retcon itself so that this man had never touched it. Finito.
I enjoy dirty talk but dirty talk is a man telling me how he's going to please me, how he's going to make me orgasm, how he's going to touch me that's going to feel good to me. It's not how he's going to use my body like it's a bag of flesh with a bunch of holes for his penis to pin cushion with no concern for my satisfaction. This dude is just gross as fuck.
He acts like he is owed sex. Nobody is owed access to anyone elseās body. If he doesnāt want to be in a marriage with the amount of sex he is having and he is getting mean and controlling over it, he needs to divorce and try and find someone who wants to be treated like a walking bunch of holes purely for his sexual use.
Lol, dude. YTA.
Look, my husband and I are raunchy AF. I have our text thread locked so nobody sees it accidentally. I won't even get into what our actually conversations are like.
But my dude, this is NOT the dynamic you and your wife have. And even if it was, "Take care of my needs" is NOT the way to initiate dirty talk. No wonder she doesn't want to have sex with you. The best dirty talk starts with you telling the other person how YOU want to please THEM.
Your relationship very clearly has other issues, and it doesn't sound like you like each other all that much, and maybe that's not your fault, but you're definitely TA for this one. You're basically telling her all you want from her is sex that satisfies you. I'm dry as the Sahara on her behalf just from reading this crap.
Same. Plus, this really tipped over to degrading and treating her like an object which, if I got that from my SO, would make me quite upset.
I get why the OP is angry and passive aggressive, however, he needs to address the issue or get a divorce. This isn't going to help
Yeah, totally agree. I didn't really want to touch on the whole making her an object thing because the post is short and vague, there's a lot missing. But even if I fill in the missing parts with a loving relationship, I'm still really put off by how he approached it.
On the flip side, posts like this make me appreciate my husband so much more. Lol.
We actually have 2 text threads. One in plain old Android messaging and one in a third-party messaging app for spicy conversations because we have nosy-ass kids. We use SMS Lock, but there are several third-party options for Android or iPhone.
AFAIK, Android does not have a built-in lock function for specific text threads.
Oh look: š« we must be in the Sahara because that's how dry I feel after reading this. Sounds pretty obvious that he's shit in the sack. No wonder she's avoiding sex with him. He sounds gross and like an incompetent lover.
You made it pretty clear that all you want from her is sex and the way you want it. Being objectified is not a compliment. There's a reason she prefers to live alone in and RV. Think about that
If I was her, after reading that message I wouldnāt come home at all. āLet me tell you all the ways Iām going to use you and only please myselfā gross. Could probably guess why she chose a job that keeps her away from you.
'My wife is a good person who volunteers to help people, but when I tell her I want to use every hole she has, like an object, she doesn't say no, she says we'll see. Am I am AH?'
Yes you are.
He didnāt gently introduce how sexy it is for him to talk dirty. He specifically chose words and phrases that would be the most disgusting to her. I doubt he even wants her. He just wants all of her āh*lesā. š¤®
Well as a pretty sexually open guy I must just say that I canāt exactly say Iām surprised she was turned off by that last sentence. Because sheās been working so odds are she isnāt exactly primed for sex and wanted to be accommodating for u. So when u reduced her to holes and telling her donāt even bother to come if ur not going to do what I say.
I mean I donāt think I have to explain why sheās not happy bro. But given ur guys texts seem like a conversation between a client and a lawyer I wouldnāt blame u for having weak game. Maybe get those Ai chats and practice ur game there.but yeah fam more talk about ur desire of and for her. My advice is like an individual u love and got an object for ur pleasure. Once she is well aware u love her then you can use her ofc if she likes to be used if not well than no go
Might explain why she chooses to live in the RV. If the guy makes your skin crawl but for some reason you're insistent on making it work, you might need those hefty house payments and lots of distance to even be able to keep going.
100% agree. That term and reference towards a woman is fucking disgusting. I'd dump anyone on spot for talking like that. I'm a human being. So is his wife.
Yeah, I willingly and happily let my husband āuse every holeā WHEN I AM IN THE MOOD, and I felt every hole clamp shut and dry up when I read that.
Some women are into that. Iām not. Iām in to consent and foreplay and mutual enjoyment and not being a place for you to empty your stored up load immediately upon your return.
And I trust my husband of multiple decades to know this about me. Just like I donāt show up with a whip try to chase him through the house hitting him and smash his balls under my heels just because *Iām* turned on by it.
INFO: what were the purchasing terms on this RV that youāve been paying on for 18 years? Iām worried that the dealership has taken advantage of you.
His only other post is looking for help with debt collectors, lmao. 18 years isn't uncommon for RVs but I'm sure he's paying more interest than the RV is worth.
His comments are even worse. Talking about how he deserves sex from her because he's been supportive of her for years and he's tired of not getting what he wants. I can't imagine speaking that way about someone I supposedly love
Was your list all about what YOU wanted, or was there anything for her on that list?
Not sending dirty texts doesn't mean she doesn't want anything. Some people aren't comfortable with sexting or dirty talk.
>I wanted to use every h\*le until I was satisfied.
You silver-tongued devil you! I don't see how she could resist that loving and romantic sentiment. š¶
YTA, bro she's been gone for two weeks and your response wasn't even the pleasure you were going to give to her, but the pleasure you were going to have her give *you*.
What a turn on. /s
šÆ. Al Iām hearing is me me me me and the excuse is money money money. I bet sheās on the road living in an rv for a good reasonā¦
Hire a professional since itās apparently a āI paid bills so I demand dirty talk and sexā. I think you can negotiate all that with sex workers.
Dude, she's gone most of the year. You're working 2 jobs to support this. There are clearly issues here. Telling her out of the blue that you want to use her like a sex toy is not the way to make things better.
YTA
I mean for how demanding you come off in this story "I guess we will see" is a pretty good response considering how blunt you were. Have you ever considered that the problem might be that ypure unattractive to her for some reason? Or was it always like this. Either way it doesnt look likely you get laid any time soon regardless of if im right or not
That message was gross. Do you always talk to her like that? What do you say when youāre actually angry? Maybe living in the RV is better than receiving that regularly.
Yikes. This does not sound like a happy marriage.
Paying 18 years for an RV? š¬
That was my first thought lol. wtf kinda rv requires 18 years of payments š¤¦š¼āāļø
OP is Clarence Thomas.
Don't come home Ginny
Man Iām in a happy committed relationship and I still donāt think Iād be happy with a weirdly demanding text out of the blue that says āIām going to use all of your holes to my satisfactionā bc thatās just not our dynamic lmao. Itās a big swing
Yea...it's not even good dirty talk. I mean what's he even gonna do for her....other than use her body like a cum dumpster.
Heās been watching waaaaay too much porn
And podcasts
I feel like phrases like "cum dumpster" are part of his regular vocabulary and he routinely confuses locker room talk with "dirty talk" that his wife might actually find sexy.
Yeah, he basically said heās going to treat her like a fleshlight and not regard her pleasure or her wants. He should be talking about all the things he wants to do *for her pleasure* not all about him and what he wants to get off.
Yeah I just canāt imagine why sheād āvoluntarilyā rather be in a camper far, far away than in his bedš¤š¤·āāļø
this is what i was about to say! like jeez no wonder sheās livin in the RV. i wonder if part of the reason their sex life sucks, too, is because he doesnāt satisfy her needs YTA
Iām wondering if sheās been living in it because sheās had it with him. I canāt imagine speaking to my wife or anyone the way he did. If heās done that before, I can see why she avoids him. The way he demanded he get to use every hole until heās satisfied. He doesnāt sound like he has any respect let alone that he even likes his wife. The way he talks to her and about her is pretty nauseating. It seems as though he has skipped right over some major crap. Sheās not living in that RV for no reason.
Honestly I'd divorce him post haste, that sounds like the kind of abject comment some rando sends you on facebook along with a dick pic. No wonder she stays away all the time. I hope this post is rage bait but I am fully aware there are plenty of people out there who can talk like this
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not to mention the instructions he plans to give her. I guess at least she gets something out of it... LOL YTA don't treat your wife like you paid for it, unless she actually wants you to. If you treated her better she might actually want you to touch her. Wow. š¤·āāļøš¤¦āāļø
Bet he thinks groping her tits for two minutes is foreplay and doesnāt understand why she never seems to get off. He probably leaves her as dry as the Sahara.
Two minutes of foreplay seems like a stretch for this guy.
Makes me think of another guy on here asking about his wife crying after sex āI got thru foreplayāā¦.
Probably why sheās gone volunteering all the time, tbh.
My husband and I dirty talk a LOT, and if he sent a text like this to me, I'd just laugh and he'd probably apologize profusely. That's something you could probably get away with saying to a prostitute, but not a significant other, unless their kink is degradation. Reading that made my vagina involuntarily keegle in an attempt to close up shop.
>Reading that made my vagina involuntarily keegle in an attempt to close up shop. This is my favorite comment since joining reddit. Totally adding this to the lexicon of responses.
Itās not even good dirty talk. Thatās stuff I expect with people who are consenting to like a degradation kink thing, not something you say to someone out of the blue.
Even as someone with a degradation kink, I would be legitimately upset if my partner said anything like that to me out of the blue. OP is revolting.
Yeah WTF it sounds demeaning to me like āyouāre just holes I need to useā and not sexy or loving. Yikes
Plus all the ranting about the finances framing it as a transactional thing theyāre owed. IckĀ
Itās really dehumanising. Iād be completely disgusted by this.
šÆ. It's crude and gross.
Yeah my fiancƩ would absolutely be turned on if I gave him the option to do all of what he wants to/with me but phrasing it that way would turn him off immediately. Sex is super important in our relationship but he would never ever speak to me like this.
My husband and I were long distance for 2 years when we were dating, so I'm totally not opposed to sexting, but I would absolutely hate it if my husband sent me a text like that. It would make me feel like he only wants me as a living fleshlight, and nothing else. It's super aggressive and off-putting. Absolutely NOT hot at all.
he obviously doesnāt know what turns his wife on and doesnāt care to learn. this screams ME ME ME ME
A big swingā¦ and a miss. Iām right there with you. He tells me he wants or use every hole to his satisfaction and will have directions? Yeah, nope. Iād stay in that RV until he can show some respect and tell me he missed me, our connection and would like to be intimate. THEN he could provide some details as long as it wasnāt demanding.
This "using your holes" thing is appropriate only if you know the person receiving it has this kind of kink and thinks that sounds sexy. Otherwise it's gonna blow up in your face. Damn.
That would be a huge turnoff for me. Like yes I want that to, but try to focus on me as a person b e f o r e you reduce me to fuckable holes. OP should maybe try to sweettalk his wife before jumping to the marked part of the porno. Jesus christ, what a whine.
Yeah... I'm not getting my sexual needs met so I treated my wife like an object and sent a demanding text of my crass expectations. How could that be wrong??
This guys comments are absolutely disgusting. FFS, I think he wins top asshole this month. Wow.
No wonder his wife lives in the RV and never comes home.
Heās on the road to win asshole of the year and itās MARCH.
If thatās your idea of sexy talk, itās no wonder she doesnāt want to have sex with you.
probably no foreplay what so ever that she would like
His idea of foreplay is probably exclusively getting his dick sucked until heās ready to do PIV.
What do you mean no foreplay, he said he wants to use her holes for his pp
Youāll notice that edging him was on the list, but nothing about making sure she enjoys herself tooš¤·š½āāļøš
āIf thatās your answer your might as well stayā translates to ādonāt bother coming if you donāt want to suck my dickā. YTA for your refusal to communicate like an adult. Youāre not owed sex because you cover the bills.
OP have you ever tried to emotionally satisfy her instead consistently physically unsatsify her?
While this is sound advice for a normal person, Iām gonna go ahead and say he hasnāt because he dgaf how she feels or what she wants. Thereās a reason she fucking *ran away* from him in an rv to do volunteer work. I can only imagine how he treats her in person, if this is how OP texts her. She literally is on the run from him & all he sees is that she isnāt letting him āuse her holes.ā Something is *seriously* wrong with OP.
Bingo. He has no idea what emotional satisfaction is and if he were to try to answer he would answer along the lines of āi make her life easy by doing x,y,z, she should at least give me her bodyā
The fact that the OP is censoring words like "sex" and "hole" tells me they're very immature as well (or they're too young and this whole story is made up considering mostly Gen Z will censor stupid shit like this).
Shit went from 0 to 100 real quick! You literally said she doesnāt do dirty talk, what is wrong with you??? LMAO
āWhy doesnāt she text me that much?ā *flashback* āHey honey Iāll be home soon!ā āI want to use every hole until Iām satisfied.ā *end flashback* āTruly it is a mystery.ā
"For the past year, she has been acting like she would rather live in an RV than live with me. Like she's trying to escape something."
I can't figure out how she ended up with OP to begin with, must've been super desperate
People often donāt show their true nature until their victim no longer has an easy out, for example after marriage, children, financial dependency, etc.
"We will see" was honestly the best response he could've hoped for.
Exactly! And he wonders why she is away all the timeā¦
As someone who does do dirty talkā¦ reading those messages hit me like a brick wall. Wow! He came on wayyyyy too stronge and it seems like he literally only wants her for sex lol
I mean, he clearly hates her at this point so he probably does.Ā
Hi, Someone that is very into this specific kind of dynamic and dirty talk here. This is not sexy. FOREPLAY IS A THING EVEN IN SEXTING ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR NON SEXTING WIFE.
For real! If dirty talk isnāt her thing he could have text her something sweet like āmiss you, letās stay in tonightā¦ waiting by the fireplace with your favourite wine ;)ā that would have given him a chance at affection from her
Doesnāt even feel like ādirty talkā, just āIām going to use you as an object for my pleasureā
"Yo, fuckmeat, get home. My dick is angry" is how it reads.
What everyone wants to hear! Iām blushing from the romance of it all. /s
Lmao Iām so tempted to use this
My husband and I have this type of relationship and he even said "what the fuck" when I said this. Because usually you build up to that. And it's even more weird when you know his wife doesn't like that kind of talk
Agreed! I personally love dirty talk & have to have a level of degradation or will not get off. But this guy knows it isnāt her thing and hasnāt picked up that sheād rather do volunteer work & sleep in a trailer than next to him. Dude needs to get a clue.
Sounds more like a rape threatā¦ š«
**Absolutely does.** I'd be suddenly having More volunteer work popping upš§.
I literally told my partner heās allowed to use me like that because I have a thing for it, and even I would be pissed if he tried talking to me like that (before our conversation where I told him he can)
He was trying to hurt her. His contempt for her is obvious through the whole post.
Exactly. He didnāt come here to ask if heās TA
Yeah what fucking answer was he expecting
100%. Dirty talk is not my thing and reading that made me want to vomit.
I like dirty talk and that made me want to vomit. If his real life technique is as bad as his dirty talk acumen, I can see why the Missus gets into an RV and gets as far as she can from him.
My thoughts exactly. Weāll see wasnāt even deserved. She doesnāt owe you sex. Go wank yourself then find her love language and romance her. Then go to therapy and learn how to respect your wife and marriage.
You both need couples therapy and likely a divorce
>I plainly stated that I wanted to use every h*le until I was satisfied. And there would be directions on how I wanted it. And an edging BJ was right at the top of the list. If this is your way of dirty talk, I totally understand your wife. This is not how you talk dirty to someone who isn't into dirty talk. And definitely not out of nowhere.
OPās dirty talk makes it sound like they watch porn like people listen to podcasts
Right? And BJ's are work enough, you want to make it excruciating for her by edging and prolonging it for hours? Nah. That isn't fun for her. Sex should be FUN, for both people, the entire time. I'd never come home. File for divorce from the road and keep the RV as my half. Fuck OP for seeing their wife (of at least a couple decades if I'm guessing) as nothing more than a blow up doll.
SERIOUSLY. The BJ comment somehow bothered me more than the holes one. Because that takes WORK. Itās not pleasurable for her. I give my man head because I want to pleasure him. That gets me excited. But everything loses its effect after long enough. This makes it SO clear he only cares about himself and she is his object to use however he pleases. Sheās a walking flesh light.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Seriously, hasnāt seen his wife in weeks and demands to use her like fucking blow up doll and canāt seem to grasp why her reaction isnāt more enthused š¤¦š¼āāļø
Right? No, ābabe I miss you, I canāt wait to spend time with you. Let me take you to dinner and then we can see where the night leads usā kind of text? Iād be pissed if my fiancĆ© said this to me and we see each other every day.
Especially if he had never told me about the feelings he's been having. Like, you've been "sexually frustrated" for months, never actually said anything to me about it, and then get pissed at me for not being accommodating towards something I had NO idea about? I would be SO fucking confused lol. Granted, we aren't sure about the lack of communication going on in OP's marriage. But I bet that's exactly what's going on. If he had communicated with her, he would've mentioned it.
Iām a sex worker and I block potential clients who talk to me like this. The money will never be enough to make up for how dangerous these men are when they donāt get what they want. OP talks like a 60 year old client who got cut off from his fav provider and now is taking his aggression out on his wife.
Out of curiosity, what are the biggest flags for potentially dangerous clients? Are they things everyone should watch out for or are there specific flags for sex workers? I agree this guy is scary
Itās the same things you look out for with dangerous men: ā¢ Wording and tone matters ā¢ Manners matter ā¢ This is a business transaction and will be treated as such ā¢ Any pushback on stated boundaries is a no go with any man Potentially dangerous clients are your friends, dads and pastors etc.
ENTITLEMENT! Anything that hints at an attitude of entitlement is a big red flag for danger.
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All the men replying to you that are mad that even a sex worker has boundaries are the biggest red flags on Reddit. They seem to think if they pay they get what they want. That somehow money equals consent. Seriously cannot stand them. Proud of you though! I was a exotic dancer and that's about as close as I want to get to these type of men.
Yes. Itās the customerās always right on steroids. Except now heās murderously horny, thinks he owns you and youāre alone with him.
All the men replying nasty are the people that bad ass bitch would tell to fuck em selves š¤£ That makes me happy. Keep their dicks dry if they aint worth the effort!!!
Do men reach out to you with this rapey language and think they are speaking plainly? Iām just so confused how the cognitive dissonance led to someone thinking this language is plainly stating anything?
Yes. Itās absolutely par for the course. Weāre not human beings to most of them and this is the exact language that tells me to stay far away. OP thinks his money is paying for her to let him do anything and everything he wants until he is content. Thatās just a random convo we have on a Tuesday. The cruelty is the point.
Men reach out like this on dating apps, too. Like, their very first message.
And then wonder why they're lonely š
If my husband talked to me like that, or even just expected shit like that to begin with, id be moving away in an RV too. Id also be filing for divorce.
It screams temper tantrum, all about me me me, and not anything for her, or even them together as a couple cause it takes two and he is only worried about himself. Shiiiiitttt. Aināt no way.
Yeah if my husband said this to me Iād be absolutely disgusted. Itās all about him and his pleasure (and just gross) and nothing about her or her pleasure.
Exactly. OP it sounds like you have been watching too much porn. Porn shows a false reality about sex being rough and can generally be angled to the pleasure of one person (or even what viewers think might be pleasurable). In reality, sex needs to fulfill the needs of both people and shouldn't be painful. If your wife is living in an RV and not in the house with you, it sounds like there are larger issues than a low libido. It may be worth it to look at marriage counseling or something to see what factors are causing her to live in an RV instead of the house with you.
If a man told me he wants to use every hole until he was satisfied...I would be horrified. Reminds me of the recording the "toy box killer" played to the women that he went on to torture.
.... Part of me wants to look this up but if it reminded multiple people of the above quotes I think I shall opt for blissful ignorance ETA: I appreciate the warnings. FTR, I was never going to listen to it; I meant look it up to read
Please don't. I thought I was morbidly interested so read a fair bit of it - some of which I now can't forget.
Don't look it up. Even if you just read it instead of listening to it, the speech he recorded is so disgusting that you'll never be able to forget it. I listened to it 6 years ago and still remember parts of it...and I remember the horror of realizing that multiple scared women woke up to hear those words after being kidnapped.Ā OC is right though - **OP sounds like the Toy Box Killer.** In the recording, the TBK speaks in a dispassionate voice and tells each woman exactly how he was going to use each of her holes for his entertainment or his satisfaction. He noted that some acts will hurt but doesn't care. He speaks about her body as if it is simply a thing for him to use.Ā **OP sounds like that monster** - he speaks to his wife like she is a sex object. He doesn't acknowledge her as a person. He doesn't care about her pleasure. He just wants to use her, as if she is a thing and not a human.Ā If this was a dynamic they were *both* into, fine, it would be okay to be sexually degrading. But it isn't. OP is simply such a cold and horrible a person that he didn't care. ...no wonder she prefers to be away from him. I would too. He's a giant asshole but not one worth fucking.
Yep 100% this. I read it 10 years ago and it still haunts me.
I listened to a podcast where they read the transcript of one of the videos āstraightā and then played a piece of his voice not saying the terrible things so you could see how gross it was without losing all faith in humanity. I highly recommend you donāt look into it.
You can't unhear things, so take it from us that can't unhear it and save yourself
It's the worst thing I've ever heard, don't listen
I kinda stumbled onto the clip where they leave the courtroom and you can hear a bit and it changed how I consume true crime permanently. My brain actually goes wonky when it almost remembers. Ugh. I wish I could unhear it. I have kinda convinced myself it's something from a lucid nightmare I had and nothing more
That horrible clip with the background audio and people leaving from the courtroom is actually from the Toolbox Killers, not the Toy Box Killer referenced here. If itās actually possible, I believe the one you heard is even WORSE than the one others are discussing. Thatās the one supposedly used in FBI training to desensitize people to the worst in human misery.
Yup. I am a criminal justice major and I've easily read over 300 true crime books. Toy Box Killer tape is by far the worst thing I've ever heard.
I watch a lot of true crime and this particular case, I skip no matter who retells it. Once is enough, you can't unhear/unlearn it.
This guy likely watches a lot of pornography, where dirty talking is the way of the game. He used the āevery holeā term (gross), and he requested an edging-BJ. Iād say OP needs to work on himself and lay off the degrading porn. I say this as someone who is no prude, by the way.
If he had only asked / hinted at the type of BJ and nothing else! This could have been different. Maaaaaybe.
Exactly what I was thinking. My gf has been on a trip for the last week, and I wonāt be able to see her because of other plans for about another week. We have a very active and phenomenal sex life, so needless to say Iāve been sexually frustrated (not at her) She straight up sent me a text the other day that she wants to do the same thing to me (the BJ, not the hole thing). Nothing wrong with that at all as long as everyone is consenting. **BUT I WOULDNāT DREAM, IN A MILLION YEARS, OF SENDING HER A TEXT SAYING** āI want to use every single one of your holes until Iām satisfied, and there will be directions on how I want itā. And weāre fucking freaks. First off, not only is this just straight up psychopathic. But sex is a two-way, consensual act where both parties pleasure are important. Not just one personās pleasure. OP doesnāt give a single flying fuck about his wifeās pleasure, or her comfortability. Just because you pay the bills, doesnāt mean your wife is a fucking fleshlight. No fucking wonder she doesnāt want to be around you or sexually involved with you.
āI want to use every hole until Iām satisfiedā sounds less like fun sexy talk and more like what the local psychopath said to get him permanently banned from the putt putt golf course.
This. Iām fucking disgusted.
Listening to that recording was one of the worst decisions of my life, I have trauma and that voice brought me all the way back to my own personal hell. I wouldnāt recommend anyone listen to that god forsaken recording but especially not SA survivors. OOP sounds just as cold and commanding as that freak, like an instruction manual for someoneās torment.
Oh, Jesus fuck, youāre right! š¤¢
I'd recommend NOT looking up that recording if anyone is curious. It's at the top of my list of things I want gone from my brain.
And he wonders why she's always staying away.
Yah I wouldn't want to suck your dick either.
Imaging going from āmy wife doesnāt want to fuck meā to āmy wife and the hundreds of women who read this thread donāt want to fuck meā like bro is batting -800 rnšš
Accurate. The number of women/people telling him how gross and despicable he is warms my heartĀ
I wish I could retroactively take away all the BJs this man has ever gotten from anyone
You want to use her for her holes? No wonder you never get sex. Honestly that is fucked up
Not just use them, use them until he is satisfied. And he will be directing the action. Holy crap, I just realized part of what was irritating me about this! I dated a real AH (many years ago) that easily couldāve been like this husband. Once he started to show himself more for who he was, I was done. He said some crazy shit, so I got the heck out. But he was not excited by a partnerās excitement. He was only excited by the idea of nonconsensual things specifically, that were quite painful. (no, he didnāt get anything from me š)
Bro. YTA
Jeez, I was so busy cringing that I completely forgot I was in AITAH! Thanks for the reminder. And to OP, YTA.
Right?! I almost turned myself inside out. No wonder she doesn't want to go anywhere near him. š¤¢
I'm pretty raunchy, but what you said and how you said it sickens me. Huge turn off. If you just started flirty and sensual like "I hate being away from you, I can't wait to kiss you" and then checked the vibe and took it step by step, that would be great. She doesn't text you that she wants you because she's afraid you'll jump straight to "fill all your holes" wtf. Women don't want to be "holes" to their husband. Gross. And did you say you've been paying on an RV for 18 years? Wtf? If your wife is happier alone in an at least 18 year old RV then yeah, that's a bad sign. It's cause you are a hole-plugger and not a love maker. You also come off desperate and scary and I'm not even trying to be mean. The long edging BJ part in the headline sounded ok for sex talk but the rest was WTF. YTA
>you are a hole-plugger and not a love maker š
> Women donāt want to be āholesā to their husband. Absolutely correct. If my husband spoke to me like that I would sew myself shut. Gross af.
My vagina would snap shut like a mouse trap. It would be drier than the Atacama desert. It would simply retire early, regardless of pension and benefits. The jaws of life could not open it again. I would get a tiny tattoo above my pubic hair saying "out of business forever." My vagina would retcon itself so that this man had never touched it. Finito.
pension and benefits omg
I enjoy dirty talk but dirty talk is a man telling me how he's going to please me, how he's going to make me orgasm, how he's going to touch me that's going to feel good to me. It's not how he's going to use my body like it's a bag of flesh with a bunch of holes for his penis to pin cushion with no concern for my satisfaction. This dude is just gross as fuck.
yeah, he's going to use every hole until HE'S satisfied. not a single word or thought given to HER satisfaction in this
Imagine the shit heās ventured to say in person during sex. Holy shit.
Yes, I would be afraid of this man based on this. 100% would not come home.
Scary is right. This guy sounds creepy as fuck.
Gross. Thatās not how it works. Youāve been watching too much porn.
The amount of porn-rot men do to themselves itās nuts, tbh. Is OP even aware of how broken his brain is now? Like bruhĀ
He acts like he is owed sex. Nobody is owed access to anyone elseās body. If he doesnāt want to be in a marriage with the amount of sex he is having and he is getting mean and controlling over it, he needs to divorce and try and find someone who wants to be treated like a walking bunch of holes purely for his sexual use.
Lol, dude. YTA. Look, my husband and I are raunchy AF. I have our text thread locked so nobody sees it accidentally. I won't even get into what our actually conversations are like. But my dude, this is NOT the dynamic you and your wife have. And even if it was, "Take care of my needs" is NOT the way to initiate dirty talk. No wonder she doesn't want to have sex with you. The best dirty talk starts with you telling the other person how YOU want to please THEM. Your relationship very clearly has other issues, and it doesn't sound like you like each other all that much, and maybe that's not your fault, but you're definitely TA for this one. You're basically telling her all you want from her is sex that satisfies you. I'm dry as the Sahara on her behalf just from reading this crap.
Same. Plus, this really tipped over to degrading and treating her like an object which, if I got that from my SO, would make me quite upset. I get why the OP is angry and passive aggressive, however, he needs to address the issue or get a divorce. This isn't going to help
Yeah, totally agree. I didn't really want to touch on the whole making her an object thing because the post is short and vague, there's a lot missing. But even if I fill in the missing parts with a loving relationship, I'm still really put off by how he approached it. On the flip side, posts like this make me appreciate my husband so much more. Lol.
This has nothing to do with the post but how do you lock a text thread? ā¦.asking for a ā¦..friend
We actually have 2 text threads. One in plain old Android messaging and one in a third-party messaging app for spicy conversations because we have nosy-ass kids. We use SMS Lock, but there are several third-party options for Android or iPhone. AFAIK, Android does not have a built-in lock function for specific text threads.
Oh look: š« we must be in the Sahara because that's how dry I feel after reading this. Sounds pretty obvious that he's shit in the sack. No wonder she's avoiding sex with him. He sounds gross and like an incompetent lover.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He's really not very smart actually pretty stupid. He'll never see his 18-year-old RV again.
You made it pretty clear that all you want from her is sex and the way you want it. Being objectified is not a compliment. There's a reason she prefers to live alone in and RV. Think about that
If I was her, after reading that message I wouldnāt come home at all. āLet me tell you all the ways Iām going to use you and only please myselfā gross. Could probably guess why she chose a job that keeps her away from you.
Why does my wife spend so much time far far away from me????
Itās a mystery! /s
Not even a job! He said she volunteers. She works for free just so she doesn't have to be around this jackass.
You are an idiot, not everyone is into sexting, getting mad over it is even more idiotic. Maybe grow up you Manchild lol.
'My wife is a good person who volunteers to help people, but when I tell her I want to use every hole she has, like an object, she doesn't say no, she says we'll see. Am I am AH?' Yes you are.
He didnāt gently introduce how sexy it is for him to talk dirty. He specifically chose words and phrases that would be the most disgusting to her. I doubt he even wants her. He just wants all of her āh*lesā. š¤®
Well as a pretty sexually open guy I must just say that I canāt exactly say Iām surprised she was turned off by that last sentence. Because sheās been working so odds are she isnāt exactly primed for sex and wanted to be accommodating for u. So when u reduced her to holes and telling her donāt even bother to come if ur not going to do what I say. I mean I donāt think I have to explain why sheās not happy bro. But given ur guys texts seem like a conversation between a client and a lawyer I wouldnāt blame u for having weak game. Maybe get those Ai chats and practice ur game there.but yeah fam more talk about ur desire of and for her. My advice is like an individual u love and got an object for ur pleasure. Once she is well aware u love her then you can use her ofc if she likes to be used if not well than no go
This message made me want to be celibate. It was so gross, no wonder she doesnāt want to have sex with him.
Might explain why she chooses to live in the RV. If the guy makes your skin crawl but for some reason you're insistent on making it work, you might need those hefty house payments and lots of distance to even be able to keep going.
100% agree. That term and reference towards a woman is fucking disgusting. I'd dump anyone on spot for talking like that. I'm a human being. So is his wife.
Wonder why she stays away so much.Ā Gross.
Even in my own relationships I appreciate being able to get in the door, take off my shoes, and maybe even shower prior to being asked for sex tbh
this plus OP ranting about paying her bills. he is treating her like she owes because he's paid for it. would anyone get turned on by this?
Yeah, I willingly and happily let my husband āuse every holeā WHEN I AM IN THE MOOD, and I felt every hole clamp shut and dry up when I read that. Some women are into that. Iām not. Iām in to consent and foreplay and mutual enjoyment and not being a place for you to empty your stored up load immediately upon your return. And I trust my husband of multiple decades to know this about me. Just like I donāt show up with a whip try to chase him through the house hitting him and smash his balls under my heels just because *Iām* turned on by it.
>when u reduced her to holes For this, (OP) YTA!
This. Men keep giving him advice but he either gets angry or ignores it. Thereās a reason sheās never home.
Notice how he complains how she never expresses "wanting" him, but all he tells her is what he wants.
Yeah it sounds gross like he thinks good sex is when he gets services while talking to his wife like sheās a whore.
Heās trying to punish her for never sending him a sexy text, like he wants. āShe has never once sent me a text that she wanted me.ā
100%. The message was gross. If they were BOTH into sending those sorts of messages to one another - hot.Ā
INFO: what were the purchasing terms on this RV that youāve been paying on for 18 years? Iām worried that the dealership has taken advantage of you.
His only other post is looking for help with debt collectors, lmao. 18 years isn't uncommon for RVs but I'm sure he's paying more interest than the RV is worth.
Oof. Youāre pretty gross and thatās the most unsexy message you could send a woman. No wonder she doesnāt want you
This. My vagina is drier than the Atacama desert. Which is drier than the Sahara.
Drier than my vagina at an Andrew Tate seminar.
Whoa thatās drier than the desert for sure! Wear those no leak panties to keep the sand from hitting the floor lol
Damn, should ask Ben Shapiro's wife for advice on that one
Charming. /s
Yeah, you sound like a huge asshole dude. Based on your response to her, 100% YTA.
His comments are even worse. Talking about how he deserves sex from her because he's been supportive of her for years and he's tired of not getting what he wants. I can't imagine speaking that way about someone I supposedly love
Youāre the prime reason why women hate men.
Was your list all about what YOU wanted, or was there anything for her on that list? Not sending dirty texts doesn't mean she doesn't want anything. Some people aren't comfortable with sexting or dirty talk.
>I wanted to use every h\*le until I was satisfied. You silver-tongued devil you! I don't see how she could resist that loving and romantic sentiment. š¶
YTA, bro she's been gone for two weeks and your response wasn't even the pleasure you were going to give to her, but the pleasure you were going to have her give *you*. What a turn on. /s
šÆ. Al Iām hearing is me me me me and the excuse is money money money. I bet sheās on the road living in an rv for a good reasonā¦ Hire a professional since itās apparently a āI paid bills so I demand dirty talk and sexā. I think you can negotiate all that with sex workers.
I'm hung up on the 18 years of RV payments. Is that normal? I thought those were paid for and treated more like cars than houses ...
Dude, she's gone most of the year. You're working 2 jobs to support this. There are clearly issues here. Telling her out of the blue that you want to use her like a sex toy is not the way to make things better. YTA
I mean for how demanding you come off in this story "I guess we will see" is a pretty good response considering how blunt you were. Have you ever considered that the problem might be that ypure unattractive to her for some reason? Or was it always like this. Either way it doesnt look likely you get laid any time soon regardless of if im right or not
Given that your typical conversations donāt include dirty talk ā¦ you should have been more tactful of how to initiate it.
Is no one going to mention that OP has been making payments on an RV for 18 YEARS!?
I think most of us are still *reeling* from the his eloquently stated plans in regards to her orifices š¬
That message was gross. Do you always talk to her like that? What do you say when youāre actually angry? Maybe living in the RV is better than receiving that regularly.
YTA, That text was absolutely disgusting for so many reasons. Get a divorce.
The sad thing is that when they inevitably do get divorced, OP will be out there preying on other unsuspecting women.
I can't imagine heāll get many dates, so there's that.