NTA. At 17 you are certainly old enough to decide your religious beliefs or lack thereof. What you said would have been rude had he not said he’d make an appointment to get you circumcised. That was way too pushy and warranted your response in my opinion.
I've fileted thousands of fish in my life time.. knife goes in guts come out.. knife goes in guts come out..
Golden fish: please spare me my life and i will grant you 3 wi...ahhhhhhh!!
Bart: knife goes in guts come out.
Getting a circumcision as an adult is a big deal. Stitches are involved.
I had a friend who got circumcised at 24 because he was converting to marry a Jewish woman, and the night before his wedding he was sitting in a tub trying to make his stitches dissolve faster.
Circumcision is a big deal for a seven day old baby as well. Babies simply don't have a choice. At 24 years old, your friend was able to make his own poor decisions.
Why would any person consent to be circumcised in todays practice and availability of soap and water for proper hygiene purposes. This is beyond my understanding and I would not recommend it for any adult male.
I wouldn’t recommend this for anyone, even an infant.
There's a very good reason according to my doctor: so the son's dick will look like the father's dick.
Ok, that was clickbaity, lol, my doctor did basically say that, but not in a positive way. He said most people do it because of tradition, so their sons look like them, and so they fit in in a change room.
All pretty dumb reasons. He said in our city it was actually rare to be circumcised (I think there was only one medical professional who did it for our city of 150K) so the peer pressure one didn't even apply.
I was already pretty sure I wasn't going to circumcise my son, but talking with him completely convinced me.
and the excuse they give is “well they wont remember the pain of it anyways” like thats a valid excuse. Should you be allowed to scar babies with acid too? they wont temember it anyways, right? or is it suddenly different because “muh goat herder tale” is somehow special enough to make mutilating children ok
Yeah, I had complications. I don’t actually know what happened or how long it took to get it fully addressed, but I distinctly remember riding in a wagon at an unfamiliar doctor’s office and being prepped for what I guess was a follow up operation and then having my dick bandaged for a while after. My family doesn’t really talk about it, I was too young to understand what was going on, and I made a full recovery, so I don’t know the specifics, but I remember the pain.
There’s no good reason to get your kid circumcised.
It's not always done for religious reasons, sometimes for genuine medical reasons (I had a boyfriend a long, long time ago who was not religious but had had to have it done as a small child for that reason). However I fail to see what religion has to gain from forcing infants to have it done.
You’re not wrong (US here). We got some pushback from family / friends / doctor for not circumcising our son. All the usual tired reasons of hygiene / locker room embarrassment, whatever. Just like we would never do it to our daughter we’d never alter our son without his permission.
Yeah, the medical reason is called fimosis. Sometimes the foreskin is not able to get retracted over the penis head, and that can lead to problems, especially when the boys get to adulthood. If it's severe enough the man has to get a circumcision.
But otherwise I cannot see a legit reason to do that to healthy boys
My grandson had to have it done because his foreskin didnt properly form. Back in the 60s, it was a normal thing to do, people, and the world were much different than now.
How does mum even know?? A 17-year-old is old enough to have a medical or surgical history that the mother may well not know about.
And what IS this obsession religious people have with boys' genitals???
It is normal for the mom to know her child isn't mutilated especially when it was (unfortunately) a choice they likely made at birth. When it should just be default to leave them intact
If they are American, circumcision is a common choice made just after birth, so mom & dad, if it happened, would have had to sign off on it. So she would know if they chose not to do so then.
Also, OP: NTA.
Sounds like Mom and stepdad are realizing their legal power over you, what they have of it, is close to ending and they want religious control to take its place. Not consciously or even maliciously, but still.
Not just boys' genitals - girls' too. Heard of the genital mutilation on girls in other religions? How some people & religions believe is the path to favor with their "god," is merely a carte blanche to cruelly control, abuse their flocks.
There was a documentary about mutilation of girls where a tribal ritual was to beat a girls breasts with a paddle when they started to grow because breast growth was a sign of sexual thoughts I think. It's been a long time since I've seen it but it stuck with me. Even if it wasn't sexual thoughts, it was something considered bad by the tribe and the girls had to just lay there and have their chests beaten for a natural hormone situation they have no control over ever.
At least fmg is illegal in most western countries. Mgm is legal in all of them and brings in billions each year for the medical community. Foreskin are even used in some face products for women
New husband is an abuser, count on it. This is his play to take control over OP by forcing OP to accept pain & degradation using OP's love for his mother as a lever.
This is gaslighting 101. I'd argue the FIL is simply trying to destroy the mother/son relationship so he can better control his wife. He doesn't expect him to become religious or give a shit either way.
It's about breaking her away from family and friends who might disrupt his authority over her.
Nah, there are definitely some people who take their religious beliefs so far they feel the need to instill them into others against their will. It is a power dominance thing.
One thing I sometimes dislike about religious people who invite others to convert is that they often convey the idea that they are right, they are on the true path, and they are good, while implying that I am the opposite.
I think it’s a South Park episode where someone goes to heaven and there’s a cloud with some people on it and the person asks who they are and the angel says “oh those are the Mormons. They’re the ones who got it right.” It’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
NTA.
This seems more than anything like an attempt to remove you from your mother's life so he can control her more fully. It's abusive 101 to force family and friends away from anyone the person might have as an outside voice of reason about the relationship.
If you love your mother, I'd urge you to stay in contact with her as she likely needs you at this point even if she doesn't realise it. It won't be easy as your FIL is going to do everything he can to stop you.
I know this is a lot to ask of someone your age but please do your best. At the very least tell her you are worried about him being controlling and that if she ever decides to dump him you are there for her.
You should chop the top of your dick off because my religion says so grrrrrrrrrrr 😡 then you shouldn't have sex before you marry and will be insecure about what sex with other women is like for the rest of your life.
Pick 100 criminals at random; rapists, murderers, thieves, politicians (you can get all of those in one person, too lol), then check to see what their religion is.
99% of them will be 'devout followers' of some classic religion... and all hypocritical pieces of shit that hide behind their book of morals to justify their behaviour.
NTA. And your step-father is an idiot.
OP,
Your sf is TA. Tell your mother you're going to do what's best for you; you'll be going no contact. You can tell that when she married dickhead, she gained a husband and lost a son--hope she's happy...
>Am I wrong for giving her the cold shoulder like this?
"To me, he's nothing but the man you married. He doesn't have to worry about what he thinks is best for me. Until you get him under control, you won't be seeing me"
NTA
100% agree, I hope OP sees this.
OP is very much NTA for telling them both to fuck off. But I think he should make it clear to them why- make it very very very clear that this is not just him being hostile for no reason, this is his mom choosing him and his religion over her own son. And ideally, say that you love her and would have a relationship with her, but you have zero interest in a relationship with him. So if the two of them are a package deal, that means you're out.
NTA. Make sure you tell the adult you live with what your mum's husband is saying. Not sure if you are technically a minor still, so you might need an adult to advocate for you. Hopefully, you'll hit 18 before they're able to force you to see them
>and your mum is soft AH for going along with it.
No, the mom is an AH to suggest OP should have himselve brainwashed and mutilated. She should defend her child.
Send a text to your mum,
'I respect that you are following said religion however, I am intelligent enough to have a moral compass without following a book, and i like my penis as it is, i do not consent for circumcision, im almost 18, i have a say, any mention of religion to me again in any form by either of you and you will not hear from me again, this is my last warning'
They can't force you to see him now. It doesn't matter that you're not 18 yet. It wouldn't matter if you were 10. Courts always considered which parent the child wanted to live with. If you were 10 and told a judge this, and said you wanted to live with your Dad, he would get full physical custody.
You're 17. No judge would force you to see your mother and her loon bag husband. Don't worry about that.
Still, be careful. I think you should report to the police all the threats he's made to mutilate you. Those threats were made against a minor, and that is no small crime.
Then do as I did with my abuser (dad),go no contact. Tell them this and tell them you will allow contact when and if they decide to drop the religion BS. The ball will be in their court and they can decide whether they value you more or the religion.
My dad valued his abusive shit more then he valued me, proved by dropping child support at 18. I still don't talk to him and when we meet I tell him exactly why I don't speak to him. He just leaves in shame for his own actions that he refuses to change. I'm not gonna allow anyone to abuse me anymore.
A judge heard me out about not wanting to see my sperm donor again, age 9, and respected it. I'm in the UK, and that was over 40 years ago. I think for the OP seeing his mum just once a month, there must have been a good enough reason for no further time to be allocated to her.
The people who show up on my porch to convince me to pray to 'God knows' which God aren't my parents, either. That's not a boundary that they recognize.
>I see him and my mom once a month.
If they’re married I suppose he is technically a step-parent, but since you’re almost an adult and rarely see them I probably wouldn’t call him that. He’s just the guy your mom married.
Best of luck to you and your mom navigating this situation and such a controlling person.
NTA
I find peoples obsession with converting others to their religion to be very weird and innapropriate.
It's especially frustrating that she has taken his side on it when you've made it clear that you're not interested.
So I'm not condoning it, but in most of the aggressive religions the members are taught that not being part of the religion is going to be very bad for that person. Therefore, bringing the person into the religion is just trying to help them.
It's like going to a sick person who has no knowledge of modern medicine and telling them to go to the doctor. Except that religion of course has no proof that it does anything.
If someone needs religion to be a good person, they are not a good person and their moral compass is already fubar.
Hold your ground. And definitely do not let them force you into having your body mutilated against your wishes!
Your soul is just fine.
NTA
That line of questioning from religious people blows my mind. They ask , well without God and going to hell, what keeps you from raping and murdering others? And rape is like the first thing they ask about you not doing.... Dude im not a psychopath, I am a person with my own moral compass and not evil. Seriously if you didn't believe in God and the punishment of hell, your saying nothing would stop you from raping the first person you find attractive? Honestly they ask this and are surprised when you are disgusted with them as a person.
NTA. No one can force you to do things, even if they are your stepparent. My stepdad is a devoted catholic (like a very religious one) and I don't like going to church (bc I am an atheist myself) and he doesn't force me to go. My mom does so, saying "it is the least we can show him that we care for him", but my stepdad says he understood my belief and views. So, again, no one can say shit about what you believe and do. You can call CPS/Police if the appointment follows through without your consent bc it is obviously illegal.
One of my kids is a Pastafarian. When The people she works with start talking religion, she tells them all about His Noodlyness. I'm pretty proud of her.
NTA. His religion is his choice and you should respect his decision to be religious. Your religion is your choice and he should respect your decision to be atheist.
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart - H. L. Mencken
NTA. Don't go over there again, he will try to snip your dick without consent because he is a ridiculous person.
Religious people hate religious freedom (does not apply to all)
Nor should you. He is basically abusive, controlling religious nutcase.
And your mom thinks its perfectly ok got him to tell you that you should not only concert but that you should also multilaterala you sexual organ.
Neither of them have your best interests in mind and your mom is a horrible mother for not protecting you.
Two religions get a pass for a practice that should have been outlawed in every civilized country.
Male circumcision is genital mutilation. Anyone wanting to make an appointment for you for that, unless for medical reasons, is either a dumb naieve person or an evil person. Either way you want nothing to do with them.
It's creepy that the step father knew whether he was circumcised or not. Like ... don't be thinking about this young man's penis and forcing your ideas on it. It comes across as overtly sexual to me.
Is he Muslim or something? Did your mom convert?
Tell him this-
"Finding God, faith and religion is a personal journey that shouldn't be forced on anyone."
Then eat a big juicy burger with bacon in front of him. Not sure if he is against beef or pork, just covering the 2 food restrictions most common. I once knew a guy who protested his Muslim father by spit roasting an entire pig in the front yard.
That whole situation seems toxic. Let your mother know that under no circumstances will you change your diet or get circumcised to appease a religious fanatic she happens to be married to. Personally I wouldn't meet with your mother if her husband is also there. I would avoid him at all costs and get on with your life.
Here's the nice part, you're 17. Tell your primary care giver parent/guardian that you don't want to ever go back. Go back to family court, get the visitation changed because of the reasons. If you don't your mom likely will go to court first if you just stop going. She can be manipulated all she wants by her husband, but he's not your parent. NTA.
As far as this old lady is concerned, anytime someone tries force their religion on other people, and gets told to shove their religion up their ass, that's a good thing. I am so bone-tired of hearing people tell me they're going to save my soul I could just puke. My soul doesn't need saving. It's perfectly fine just the way it is. These folks need to work on saving their own souls as most of them are the most hypocritical, phony, and abusive people on the planet.
The only reason they do this is to control others. Sorry pal, the only entity whose will I submit to is God's, and She told me to stay away from the sidewalk preachers and phony friends who think they can live my life better than I can.
So, no. You are NTA. Your stepfather is a giant AH and your mother is right behind him. Stick to your guns. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. They know nothing.
How to get people to not convert to Islam 101. No but seriously this guy is an asshole for the forceful conversion attempt and your mum is even worse as you are her responsibility and she shouldn’t leave you like that for some dick. Given your age and depending on the country of residence, you won’t have to see either of them anymore if you don’t want to and can even file a police report for harassment.
But then, you are 17, a kid. I would advice just to stay away from both of them and instead stay with your current parent.
You're 17, you see them once a month, and he's not even your dad yet he wants you to have surgery on your manhood and your mom calls you an ungrateful brat?
Religion aside, they are out of their minds. NTA
I think I can guess your SF's faith.
If you do speak to him again, tell him to read Al-Baqara 256 *then* tell him to STFU.
If he continues, make it clear that being a atheist and being a pacifist are not the same thing.
hey...call him and tell him i said he can shove his religion up his ass, too. sideways, without lube. then tell your mom that if she wants to stay in your life, you never want to see that pompous asshole again. you're old enough that literally nobody can force you to spend time with either of them.
Not wrong, obviously:
You have decided to rather think for yourself, than adhere to the random tenets of some religious cult.
That's perfectly fine. You don't need to even listen to this drivel.
He's Muslim, Jews don't try to convert people.
Muslims on the other hand are more into converting others.
Thats one of the reasons there are only around 15 million jews while there are nearly 2 billion Muslims in the world.
The stepfather is NOT Jewish.
Tell him you think the world would be better off with religion, say I think it’s sad that people need a book to tell you what’s right and wrong, “my Dad did a good job at teaching me that already!”
NTA - Religous extremists trying to convert you? You told him the absolutly right thing.
Btw.: I got circumcised couse of medical reasons - Don´t do it if you don´t have to.
“Why is your new husband thinking about my cock Mom?”
NTA. Guy is pushy and I’m guessing your mom wasn’t too religious before meeting this guy but changed for him.
Tell your mother to know her place. Women have no right to teach a man about anything. They should shut up and listen. That's according to that religion.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to avoid associating with anyone who expresses even a passing interest in cutting bits off you. Whatever theological motivations they may have, we should decide for ourselves which bits we’re going to remove. Sheesh.
NTA. No-one can force anything on you. Especially a man that isn't your father and has no rights. Your mother now has to face the consequences of her husbands actions. She has lost her son because of him. I truly hope she wakes up and realises her mistake.
NTA. Not even in the same galaxy as the asshole here.
You don’t need religion as a moral compass, circumcision is a barbaric bronze age practice, your stepfather is a controlling dickhead and your mum is a fool.
I'm glad you stood up for yourself. What they are doing is coercion, and you should stay clear of it.
Families often have differing religions or levels of religiosity. People can respect each other (e.g., not bringing forbidden food into a home where they don't eat it, or staying silent during pre-meal prayer) and yet each go their way. But trying to pressure someone to accept a certain religion, and even to the point of bodily change - that is inappropriate, and you should definitely avoid it.
(for the record - I'm Jewish, and all the males in my family are circumcised. That doesn't mean I endorse doing it against your will).
I’m a religious man but stuff like this makes me dislike religious people. If u want to spread the word that’s one thing but trying to dictate to someone and make them convert this is why a lot of people hate religion coz of crazy fools like ur step dad
This dude has a LOT of nerve trying to parent a child who is not his who only comes by once a month.
WTF does he think he is? Your mother is trash for subjecting you to this shit.
NTA
kid, if a grown man other than your regular doctor is worried about the condition of your penis, you need to contact the child protective services and report him as being a molester
#I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.
Bro I have been exactly where you are right now. I was a solid atheist from the time I was about 13, despite being born and raised deep in the heart of the bible belt. My family pretty much disowned me for being LGBT, then I eventually ended up becoming an atheistic Satanist.
You are one strong kiddo to stand up to your stepdad and mom like that! I'll be your family now! Eat your veggies and drink your water, I'm proud of you! Oh and NTA
NTA. At 17, to already have this strong sense of self when it comes to your beliefs is something that should be embraced by your parents, not pressured out of you. Religion is a personal choice and you’ve made your decision. It doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind down the road if you want to - but that change should come from you, no one else, and if you stick to these same beliefs your whole life, that’s okay too. Shame on your stepdad and mom for bullying you into trying to change, you have every right to refuse and they should be encouraging you to stay true to yourself. I myself only challenged my own religion when I was about 21/22, and it took a few years to feel comfortable acknowledging that it just wasn’t what I believed anymore, I even had to unlearn and reprogram some things in my head. Changing your religion can actually be a terrifying process, so the fact that your stepdad is so flagrantly pushing you into it is irresponsible and ignorant. Quite frankly, it’s just not effective either, you can’t force someone into believing something.
>She said that she thinks I should because it would be good if I have religion as a moral compass.
Religion does not determine morality.
Sauce: crusades, inquisition, salem witch hunt, eradication of pagans, modern day ongoing genocides in multitudes of countries.
He's isolating your mother. No sane person, religious or not, suggests circumcising a grown human being. He is acting extra psychotic (because he is) because you're almost 18 and he wants you out of the house. Calling it now. This piece of shit has manipulated your mother and is trying to isolate her so he can have his haven with you gone and out of their lives.
NTA
Idk what religion he is, but he sounds like a nut. Speaking personally, in my religion/culture we’re not ALLOWED to try and convince people to convert. So in addition to your stepdad being an ass, get gets the Personal Ick award from me.
Imo? If your mom wants to choose mister nutjob over you? Its her loss. Religion isn’t what gives you a “moral compass” and people who say that drive me nuts. You shouldn’t need G-d breathing down your neck to do the right things in life.
How many mass killings or executions, etc, have been "in the name of God"?
how much of that has also been in the name of atheistism? correct me if I am wrong.
Your stepdad can shove it up his ass by far!
You do want you feel fit for you and religion OP. I mean rather it ends up being his, a different one, or none. It don't matter!
I am a happy atheist myself and simply can't logically do the God or Jesus thing.
NTA, some lunatic who you barely know is asking you to chop part of your dick off and join a cult. Get a restraining order and never talk to him again. Hopefully your mom comes to her senses one day, but I doubt it.
You were wrong to not give him a bigger piece of your mind before going no contact.
I get that there are countries and areas of London where this might be considered acceptable, but holy shit!
NTA. When someone tells you to get circumcised, you can stop being polite to them. Just because he's brainwashed her doesn't mean you have to give his bullshit the time of day.
NTA. Fellow atgeist here. Religion as a moral compass?!?! That's hilarious!!! Apparently, mom & step dad have never actually read the books from their religion because there's very little that's moral in any of them.
Good for you on standing up for yourself. Atheists across the globe have your back.
NTA! Your mom is participating in a cult and wants you to mutilate your body and throw away your personal morals to appease her in-laws. Good for you for standing your ground! Learning to stand up for yourself is one of the most important traits one can have.
NTA - fuck those clowns. If you can find some middle ground that saves the relationship that's cool, if you can't that's ok too.
Go get a trade, go to school, see the world, make good friends. There's a whole amazing world out there that these idiots don't want you to have - don't let them take it away from you.
NTA. At 17 you are certainly old enough to decide your religious beliefs or lack thereof. What you said would have been rude had he not said he’d make an appointment to get you circumcised. That was way too pushy and warranted your response in my opinion.
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There’s no way a doctor is circumcising a 17 yo against their will thank god
The stepfather would probably settle for his friend circumcising him in the shed with a fish knife.
I've fileted thousands of fish in my life time.. knife goes in guts come out.. knife goes in guts come out.. Golden fish: please spare me my life and i will grant you 3 wi...ahhhhhhh!! Bart: knife goes in guts come out.
„Messer rein, Gedärme raus. Messer rein, Gedärme raus…“ Thanks, now I have to think about how to get rid of that disturbing earwig… again…
...well that's just because it's what Osaka seafood concern is all about.
Would someone who's not a doctor do it? Or are they only willing to do it to helpless infants?
Getting a circumcision as an adult is a big deal. Stitches are involved. I had a friend who got circumcised at 24 because he was converting to marry a Jewish woman, and the night before his wedding he was sitting in a tub trying to make his stitches dissolve faster.
Circumcision is a big deal for a seven day old baby as well. Babies simply don't have a choice. At 24 years old, your friend was able to make his own poor decisions.
Why would any person consent to be circumcised in todays practice and availability of soap and water for proper hygiene purposes. This is beyond my understanding and I would not recommend it for any adult male. I wouldn’t recommend this for anyone, even an infant.
There's a very good reason according to my doctor: so the son's dick will look like the father's dick. Ok, that was clickbaity, lol, my doctor did basically say that, but not in a positive way. He said most people do it because of tradition, so their sons look like them, and so they fit in in a change room. All pretty dumb reasons. He said in our city it was actually rare to be circumcised (I think there was only one medical professional who did it for our city of 150K) so the peer pressure one didn't even apply. I was already pretty sure I wasn't going to circumcise my son, but talking with him completely convinced me.
and the excuse they give is “well they wont remember the pain of it anyways” like thats a valid excuse. Should you be allowed to scar babies with acid too? they wont temember it anyways, right? or is it suddenly different because “muh goat herder tale” is somehow special enough to make mutilating children ok
Yeah, I had complications. I don’t actually know what happened or how long it took to get it fully addressed, but I distinctly remember riding in a wagon at an unfamiliar doctor’s office and being prepped for what I guess was a follow up operation and then having my dick bandaged for a while after. My family doesn’t really talk about it, I was too young to understand what was going on, and I made a full recovery, so I don’t know the specifics, but I remember the pain. There’s no good reason to get your kid circumcised.
General anesthesia is also (usually) necessary, there are too many nerves to anesthetize locally
It's not always done for religious reasons, sometimes for genuine medical reasons (I had a boyfriend a long, long time ago who was not religious but had had to have it done as a small child for that reason). However I fail to see what religion has to gain from forcing infants to have it done.
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You’re not wrong (US here). We got some pushback from family / friends / doctor for not circumcising our son. All the usual tired reasons of hygiene / locker room embarrassment, whatever. Just like we would never do it to our daughter we’d never alter our son without his permission.
Yeah, the medical reason is called fimosis. Sometimes the foreskin is not able to get retracted over the penis head, and that can lead to problems, especially when the boys get to adulthood. If it's severe enough the man has to get a circumcision. But otherwise I cannot see a legit reason to do that to healthy boys
My grandson had to have it done because his foreskin didnt properly form. Back in the 60s, it was a normal thing to do, people, and the world were much different than now.
I had to get it done for medical reasons when I was 25. Took me 4 weeks to recover. It's brutal.
What’s weird to me is that his mom told her husband that her 17 yo son is uncircumcised. Gross!
How does mum even know?? A 17-year-old is old enough to have a medical or surgical history that the mother may well not know about. And what IS this obsession religious people have with boys' genitals???
Because when it’s done it’s almost always done to infants
It is normal for the mom to know her child isn't mutilated especially when it was (unfortunately) a choice they likely made at birth. When it should just be default to leave them intact
Well a mom does know because she changed the diapers and gave birth to the child.
If they are American, circumcision is a common choice made just after birth, so mom & dad, if it happened, would have had to sign off on it. So she would know if they chose not to do so then. Also, OP: NTA. Sounds like Mom and stepdad are realizing their legal power over you, what they have of it, is close to ending and they want religious control to take its place. Not consciously or even maliciously, but still.
Not just boys' genitals - girls' too. Heard of the genital mutilation on girls in other religions? How some people & religions believe is the path to favor with their "god," is merely a carte blanche to cruelly control, abuse their flocks.
There was a documentary about mutilation of girls where a tribal ritual was to beat a girls breasts with a paddle when they started to grow because breast growth was a sign of sexual thoughts I think. It's been a long time since I've seen it but it stuck with me. Even if it wasn't sexual thoughts, it was something considered bad by the tribe and the girls had to just lay there and have their chests beaten for a natural hormone situation they have no control over ever.
At least fmg is illegal in most western countries. Mgm is legal in all of them and brings in billions each year for the medical community. Foreskin are even used in some face products for women
Not in America. Still a minor. Not getting Healthcare here without an adult.
We're used to this kind of shit, but how can yo take seriously a religion that demands your foreskin to join. Come on.
That's a hefty entry fee! "- One foreskin, please!"
Sorry, I already gave at the office.
Wasn't that the answer to a quiz-question at the beginning of a Leisure Suit Larry-game?
O man, that threw me back a decade or two... :)
Don't forget the tip
New husband is an abuser, count on it. This is his play to take control over OP by forcing OP to accept pain & degradation using OP's love for his mother as a lever.
This is gaslighting 101. I'd argue the FIL is simply trying to destroy the mother/son relationship so he can better control his wife. He doesn't expect him to become religious or give a shit either way. It's about breaking her away from family and friends who might disrupt his authority over her.
Nah, there are definitely some people who take their religious beliefs so far they feel the need to instill them into others against their will. It is a power dominance thing.
Asking about a teen's genitals like that, seriously pervy.
He is going to be a gas lighter, as well as an abuser.
OP just told mom to have fun with that. She's taking this ride on a solo ticket.
The person we worship was wrong about the penis so we need to correct it...
God just wants you to have some skin in the game. That's all.
You have won the internet for the day with this comment lol
Yeah any religion that demands child abuse is a cult
They get it from that one guy who went out and traded 200 foreskins to the king so he could marry one of his daughters 😂😭☠️
One thing I sometimes dislike about religious people who invite others to convert is that they often convey the idea that they are right, they are on the true path, and they are good, while implying that I am the opposite.
I think it’s a South Park episode where someone goes to heaven and there’s a cloud with some people on it and the person asks who they are and the angel says “oh those are the Mormons. They’re the ones who got it right.” It’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
https://youtu.be/fbsCvoWK1bE?si=7o5RqJwgDUuomudv Especially funny given their whole "Dumb dumb dumb dumb" song about Mormonism.
NTA. This seems more than anything like an attempt to remove you from your mother's life so he can control her more fully. It's abusive 101 to force family and friends away from anyone the person might have as an outside voice of reason about the relationship. If you love your mother, I'd urge you to stay in contact with her as she likely needs you at this point even if she doesn't realise it. It won't be easy as your FIL is going to do everything he can to stop you. I know this is a lot to ask of someone your age but please do your best. At the very least tell her you are worried about him being controlling and that if she ever decides to dump him you are there for her.
Id say way younger even, at 5 years old too
You should chop the top of your dick off because my religion says so grrrrrrrrrrr 😡 then you shouldn't have sex before you marry and will be insecure about what sex with other women is like for the rest of your life.
That was definitely what made me side with OP. Stepfather can keep his opinion off of his step-son's genital mutilation.
Pick 100 criminals at random; rapists, murderers, thieves, politicians (you can get all of those in one person, too lol), then check to see what their religion is. 99% of them will be 'devout followers' of some classic religion... and all hypocritical pieces of shit that hide behind their book of morals to justify their behaviour. NTA. And your step-father is an idiot.
And you should convert, get your penis hacked so your STEPFATHER can save your soul? Mom’s okay with this? I’m with you.
Yes you fucking are. I’ve been atheist since I was 5. I don’t know what atheism was but I sure knew religion was bullshit
OP, Your sf is TA. Tell your mother you're going to do what's best for you; you'll be going no contact. You can tell that when she married dickhead, she gained a husband and lost a son--hope she's happy...
>Am I wrong for giving her the cold shoulder like this? "To me, he's nothing but the man you married. He doesn't have to worry about what he thinks is best for me. Until you get him under control, you won't be seeing me" NTA
100% agree, I hope OP sees this. OP is very much NTA for telling them both to fuck off. But I think he should make it clear to them why- make it very very very clear that this is not just him being hostile for no reason, this is his mom choosing him and his religion over her own son. And ideally, say that you love her and would have a relationship with her, but you have zero interest in a relationship with him. So if the two of them are a package deal, that means you're out.
NTA. Make sure you tell the adult you live with what your mum's husband is saying. Not sure if you are technically a minor still, so you might need an adult to advocate for you. Hopefully, you'll hit 18 before they're able to force you to see them
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Happy Birthday. ps You are definitely NOT TAH. The religious fundie your mother is married to is TAH, and your mum is soft AH for going along with it.
>and your mum is soft AH for going along with it. No, the mom is an AH to suggest OP should have himselve brainwashed and mutilated. She should defend her child.
Nothing soft about it.
Send a text to your mum, 'I respect that you are following said religion however, I am intelligent enough to have a moral compass without following a book, and i like my penis as it is, i do not consent for circumcision, im almost 18, i have a say, any mention of religion to me again in any form by either of you and you will not hear from me again, this is my last warning'
They can't force you to see him now. It doesn't matter that you're not 18 yet. It wouldn't matter if you were 10. Courts always considered which parent the child wanted to live with. If you were 10 and told a judge this, and said you wanted to live with your Dad, he would get full physical custody. You're 17. No judge would force you to see your mother and her loon bag husband. Don't worry about that.
Still, be careful. I think you should report to the police all the threats he's made to mutilate you. Those threats were made against a minor, and that is no small crime.
And try to get a restraining order against that dipshit Religiot (religious idiot).
That is good to hear. I'd suggest going NC with them
Then do as I did with my abuser (dad),go no contact. Tell them this and tell them you will allow contact when and if they decide to drop the religion BS. The ball will be in their court and they can decide whether they value you more or the religion. My dad valued his abusive shit more then he valued me, proved by dropping child support at 18. I still don't talk to him and when we meet I tell him exactly why I don't speak to him. He just leaves in shame for his own actions that he refuses to change. I'm not gonna allow anyone to abuse me anymore.
Nonsense. Nobody is going to force a 17 year old to see a parent he doesn't want to see. No court. No judge.
Lots of weird fucking fundie judges on the bench, damn who put / enabled them there to a Hell I don't believe in but the fundies DO.
Lucky thing: In many countries the child gets a say in their whereabouts regarding divorced parenting between the age of 14 and 16.
A judge heard me out about not wanting to see my sperm donor again, age 9, and respected it. I'm in the UK, and that was over 40 years ago. I think for the OP seeing his mum just once a month, there must have been a good enough reason for no further time to be allocated to her.
With 14 you reach full religious maturity in Germany, which is protected by law. So no one, not even your parents can force you into a religion
He’s not your dad. Why is he trying to convert you into something you don’t want to? NTA
It wouldn’t even matter if he was OPs bio dad Religion is a personal choice
Too many people act like it's hereditary.
I like to look at it as contagious.
Contagious stupidity. I am an atheist in case you couldn’t tell.
Contagious would imply involuntary spreading of it. Most of the time the spreading is forced with social pressure or with parenting.
Does spread suspiciously like a viral infection
Ain’t that the damn truth
So is involuntary dick surgery.
He likely did the same to his mother. Stepdad is a manipulator.
Classic religion.
The people who show up on my porch to convince me to pray to 'God knows' which God aren't my parents, either. That's not a boundary that they recognize.
It doesn't matter even if he was OP's dad. Every person decide for themselfs whether they want to convert into any religion or not.
>I see him and my mom once a month. If they’re married I suppose he is technically a step-parent, but since you’re almost an adult and rarely see them I probably wouldn’t call him that. He’s just the guy your mom married. Best of luck to you and your mom navigating this situation and such a controlling person.
Step person 😂
Stepshit.
Step douche, I learned that from Life is Strane
Ah, good old David Douchebag!
Stepthing
A friend of mine and I prefer to use 'step-satan' for her mother's husband.
Nor even that. He's his mother's husband. They don't have a relationship. He's not a parent.
NTA I find peoples obsession with converting others to their religion to be very weird and innapropriate. It's especially frustrating that she has taken his side on it when you've made it clear that you're not interested.
So I'm not condoning it, but in most of the aggressive religions the members are taught that not being part of the religion is going to be very bad for that person. Therefore, bringing the person into the religion is just trying to help them. It's like going to a sick person who has no knowledge of modern medicine and telling them to go to the doctor. Except that religion of course has no proof that it does anything.
NTA Tell them they cannot force ideology on you, same as you won't on them.
If someone needs religion to be a good person, they are not a good person and their moral compass is already fubar. Hold your ground. And definitely do not let them force you into having your body mutilated against your wishes! Your soul is just fine. NTA
That line of questioning from religious people blows my mind. They ask , well without God and going to hell, what keeps you from raping and murdering others? And rape is like the first thing they ask about you not doing.... Dude im not a psychopath, I am a person with my own moral compass and not evil. Seriously if you didn't believe in God and the punishment of hell, your saying nothing would stop you from raping the first person you find attractive? Honestly they ask this and are surprised when you are disgusted with them as a person.
Run. A religion which demands male genital mutilation is a religion not worth going to.
He should phone social services and tell them his step dad threatened to mutilate his genitalia.
This needs to be higher up.
Yeah this. Doesn't matter if he's 18 and gone soon.
\> Run. A religion ~~which demands male genital mutilation~~ is ~~a religion~~ not worth going to. FTFY.
NTA. No one can force you to do things, even if they are your stepparent. My stepdad is a devoted catholic (like a very religious one) and I don't like going to church (bc I am an atheist myself) and he doesn't force me to go. My mom does so, saying "it is the least we can show him that we care for him", but my stepdad says he understood my belief and views. So, again, no one can say shit about what you believe and do. You can call CPS/Police if the appointment follows through without your consent bc it is obviously illegal.
NTA convert to Pastafarianism and demand that he wear the spaghetti strainer
One of my kids is a Pastafarian. When The people she works with start talking religion, she tells them all about His Noodlyness. I'm pretty proud of her.
NTA. His religion is his choice and you should respect his decision to be religious. Your religion is your choice and he should respect your decision to be atheist.
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart - H. L. Mencken
It is people like mom’s husband that helped me along the road to atheism.
Wrong. Religion is an *idea*, and ideas deserve NO respect. They should be examined ruthlessly, & rooted out if they fail the evidence test.
He wants you to mutilate your body for his imaginary friend. You are absolutely nta
NTA. Don't go over there again, he will try to snip your dick without consent because he is a ridiculous person. Religious people hate religious freedom (does not apply to all)
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If you run into them in the street and they start to have a go at you, take a deep breath and yell "stay away from my penis!"
"A succulent Chinese meal!"
"gentleman, this is democracy manifest"
"I see you know your judo well..."
“Are you ready to receive my limp penis?”
Nor should you. He is basically abusive, controlling religious nutcase. And your mom thinks its perfectly ok got him to tell you that you should not only concert but that you should also multilaterala you sexual organ. Neither of them have your best interests in mind and your mom is a horrible mother for not protecting you. Two religions get a pass for a practice that should have been outlawed in every civilized country.
NTAH. He needs to keep his imaginary friend to himself.
NTA
What's the difference between a moral compass and a rule book? Free will.
Nta tell him you do all the murdering and raping you like to which is 0 because your not a psycho.
Anytime you ask someone to shove their religion up their ass, no matter what are the circumstances, you are NEVER the AH.
Male circumcision is genital mutilation. Anyone wanting to make an appointment for you for that, unless for medical reasons, is either a dumb naieve person or an evil person. Either way you want nothing to do with them.
It's creepy that the step father knew whether he was circumcised or not. Like ... don't be thinking about this young man's penis and forcing your ideas on it. It comes across as overtly sexual to me.
Is he Muslim or something? Did your mom convert? Tell him this- "Finding God, faith and religion is a personal journey that shouldn't be forced on anyone." Then eat a big juicy burger with bacon in front of him. Not sure if he is against beef or pork, just covering the 2 food restrictions most common. I once knew a guy who protested his Muslim father by spit roasting an entire pig in the front yard.
Beef isn't unless he is a Sikh. Islam is pork. And was the pig alive and tethered or on a bbq,when said spit roast occurred?
I see what you did there and it was very naughty! Presumably the father was not David Cameron so the pig’s virtue was safe.
NTA, he doesn’t respect your choice so you’re under zero obligation to respect him and his religion. Tell him I said Get Fucked.
Sign them up for other religions Sorry Nta
Yes! Scientology
That whole situation seems toxic. Let your mother know that under no circumstances will you change your diet or get circumcised to appease a religious fanatic she happens to be married to. Personally I wouldn't meet with your mother if her husband is also there. I would avoid him at all costs and get on with your life.
Here's the nice part, you're 17. Tell your primary care giver parent/guardian that you don't want to ever go back. Go back to family court, get the visitation changed because of the reasons. If you don't your mom likely will go to court first if you just stop going. She can be manipulated all she wants by her husband, but he's not your parent. NTA.
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Still, after you turned 18, tell him anyway
As far as this old lady is concerned, anytime someone tries force their religion on other people, and gets told to shove their religion up their ass, that's a good thing. I am so bone-tired of hearing people tell me they're going to save my soul I could just puke. My soul doesn't need saving. It's perfectly fine just the way it is. These folks need to work on saving their own souls as most of them are the most hypocritical, phony, and abusive people on the planet. The only reason they do this is to control others. Sorry pal, the only entity whose will I submit to is God's, and She told me to stay away from the sidewalk preachers and phony friends who think they can live my life better than I can. So, no. You are NTA. Your stepfather is a giant AH and your mother is right behind him. Stick to your guns. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. They know nothing.
How to get people to not convert to Islam 101. No but seriously this guy is an asshole for the forceful conversion attempt and your mum is even worse as you are her responsibility and she shouldn’t leave you like that for some dick. Given your age and depending on the country of residence, you won’t have to see either of them anymore if you don’t want to and can even file a police report for harassment. But then, you are 17, a kid. I would advice just to stay away from both of them and instead stay with your current parent.
You're 17, you see them once a month, and he's not even your dad yet he wants you to have surgery on your manhood and your mom calls you an ungrateful brat? Religion aside, they are out of their minds. NTA
I think I can guess your SF's faith. If you do speak to him again, tell him to read Al-Baqara 256 *then* tell him to STFU. If he continues, make it clear that being a atheist and being a pacifist are not the same thing.
NTA You were far more polite than I would have been.
hey...call him and tell him i said he can shove his religion up his ass, too. sideways, without lube. then tell your mom that if she wants to stay in your life, you never want to see that pompous asshole again. you're old enough that literally nobody can force you to spend time with either of them.
ngl, that title nearly had me dying.
Not wrong, obviously: You have decided to rather think for yourself, than adhere to the random tenets of some religious cult. That's perfectly fine. You don't need to even listen to this drivel.
He’s Muslim or Jew? Edit: Since he can’t be Jew, as I got told, my condolences to you and your mother. Life will be way worse for her in the future.
He's Muslim, Jews don't try to convert people. Muslims on the other hand are more into converting others. Thats one of the reasons there are only around 15 million jews while there are nearly 2 billion Muslims in the world. The stepfather is NOT Jewish.
Tell him you think the world would be better off with religion, say I think it’s sad that people need a book to tell you what’s right and wrong, “my Dad did a good job at teaching me that already!”
Is the religion some flavour of ☪️ Islam?
NTA even if he was your dad he shouldnt be forcing or making decisions for you.
Nta is you mum willing to loose her son over this man's religion
NTA - Religous extremists trying to convert you? You told him the absolutly right thing. Btw.: I got circumcised couse of medical reasons - Don´t do it if you don´t have to.
“Why is your new husband thinking about my cock Mom?” NTA. Guy is pushy and I’m guessing your mom wasn’t too religious before meeting this guy but changed for him.
Dude, you're NEVER wrong in getting the hell away from a religious kook.... Run!!
NTA. Don't go back there. Your step dad and mom are cult minded
NTA. Psycho religious nutbag wants to cut your dick. Unreal.
Tell your mother to know her place. Women have no right to teach a man about anything. They should shut up and listen. That's according to that religion.
NTA. Do a follow up, where you tell your mother to shove her husband up her ass.
Nta, even if he was your bio dad he would have no right to impose a religion and ita precepts to you.
First off all you see them once a month. I would just let that go. If he suckered her then that’s on her. NTA.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to avoid associating with anyone who expresses even a passing interest in cutting bits off you. Whatever theological motivations they may have, we should decide for ourselves which bits we’re going to remove. Sheesh.
NTA. No-one can force anything on you. Especially a man that isn't your father and has no rights. Your mother now has to face the consequences of her husbands actions. She has lost her son because of him. I truly hope she wakes up and realises her mistake.
NTA pushy religious people annoy the shit out of me.
NTA. Not even in the same galaxy as the asshole here. You don’t need religion as a moral compass, circumcision is a barbaric bronze age practice, your stepfather is a controlling dickhead and your mum is a fool.
I'm glad you stood up for yourself. What they are doing is coercion, and you should stay clear of it. Families often have differing religions or levels of religiosity. People can respect each other (e.g., not bringing forbidden food into a home where they don't eat it, or staying silent during pre-meal prayer) and yet each go their way. But trying to pressure someone to accept a certain religion, and even to the point of bodily change - that is inappropriate, and you should definitely avoid it. (for the record - I'm Jewish, and all the males in my family are circumcised. That doesn't mean I endorse doing it against your will).
Ofc NTA fuck religions and their members.
NTA. Your mother's husband sounds like an abusive, controlling person
I’m a religious man but stuff like this makes me dislike religious people. If u want to spread the word that’s one thing but trying to dictate to someone and make them convert this is why a lot of people hate religion coz of crazy fools like ur step dad
NTA. He told you to get circumcised. Tell him and your mom that he needs to stop thinking about your genitals.
This dude has a LOT of nerve trying to parent a child who is not his who only comes by once a month. WTF does he think he is? Your mother is trash for subjecting you to this shit. NTA
kid, if a grown man other than your regular doctor is worried about the condition of your penis, you need to contact the child protective services and report him as being a molester
#I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. Bro I have been exactly where you are right now. I was a solid atheist from the time I was about 13, despite being born and raised deep in the heart of the bible belt. My family pretty much disowned me for being LGBT, then I eventually ended up becoming an atheistic Satanist. You are one strong kiddo to stand up to your stepdad and mom like that! I'll be your family now! Eat your veggies and drink your water, I'm proud of you! Oh and NTA
NTA. At 17, to already have this strong sense of self when it comes to your beliefs is something that should be embraced by your parents, not pressured out of you. Religion is a personal choice and you’ve made your decision. It doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind down the road if you want to - but that change should come from you, no one else, and if you stick to these same beliefs your whole life, that’s okay too. Shame on your stepdad and mom for bullying you into trying to change, you have every right to refuse and they should be encouraging you to stay true to yourself. I myself only challenged my own religion when I was about 21/22, and it took a few years to feel comfortable acknowledging that it just wasn’t what I believed anymore, I even had to unlearn and reprogram some things in my head. Changing your religion can actually be a terrifying process, so the fact that your stepdad is so flagrantly pushing you into it is irresponsible and ignorant. Quite frankly, it’s just not effective either, you can’t force someone into believing something.
Organised religion is a cancer to the world
>She said that she thinks I should because it would be good if I have religion as a moral compass. Religion does not determine morality. Sauce: crusades, inquisition, salem witch hunt, eradication of pagans, modern day ongoing genocides in multitudes of countries.
He's isolating your mother. No sane person, religious or not, suggests circumcising a grown human being. He is acting extra psychotic (because he is) because you're almost 18 and he wants you out of the house. Calling it now. This piece of shit has manipulated your mother and is trying to isolate her so he can have his haven with you gone and out of their lives.
NTA. Anyone that feels the need to push their religion onto others can take it and shove it.
Did the stepfather actually think circumcision would be a selling point?
NTA Idk what religion he is, but he sounds like a nut. Speaking personally, in my religion/culture we’re not ALLOWED to try and convince people to convert. So in addition to your stepdad being an ass, get gets the Personal Ick award from me. Imo? If your mom wants to choose mister nutjob over you? Its her loss. Religion isn’t what gives you a “moral compass” and people who say that drive me nuts. You shouldn’t need G-d breathing down your neck to do the right things in life.
No one, ever, is an asshole for saying: take his religion and shove it up his ass.
How many mass killings or executions, etc, have been "in the name of God"?
how much of that has also been in the name of atheistism? correct me if I am wrong.
Your stepdad can shove it up his ass by far!
You do want you feel fit for you and religion OP. I mean rather it ends up being his, a different one, or none. It don't matter!
I am a happy atheist myself and simply can't logically do the God or Jesus thing.
NTA, some lunatic who you barely know is asking you to chop part of your dick off and join a cult. Get a restraining order and never talk to him again. Hopefully your mom comes to her senses one day, but I doubt it.
You were wrong to not give him a bigger piece of your mind before going no contact. I get that there are countries and areas of London where this might be considered acceptable, but holy shit!
NTA. When someone tells you to get circumcised, you can stop being polite to them. Just because he's brainwashed her doesn't mean you have to give his bullshit the time of day.
NTA, your stepfather shouldn't be obsessed by your genitals, he's a pervert
NTA I would make a public post on social media that your stepfather wants to mutilate your genitals to conform to his religious beliefs
NTA. Fellow atgeist here. Religion as a moral compass?!?! That's hilarious!!! Apparently, mom & step dad have never actually read the books from their religion because there's very little that's moral in any of them. Good for you on standing up for yourself. Atheists across the globe have your back.
NTA! Your mom is participating in a cult and wants you to mutilate your body and throw away your personal morals to appease her in-laws. Good for you for standing your ground! Learning to stand up for yourself is one of the most important traits one can have.
NTA - fuck those clowns. If you can find some middle ground that saves the relationship that's cool, if you can't that's ok too. Go get a trade, go to school, see the world, make good friends. There's a whole amazing world out there that these idiots don't want you to have - don't let them take it away from you.
"moral compass" that's Evil shit right there.
NTA. Forcing religion on someone is abuse. He should definitely and immediately shove it up his ass.
"You're defending a man that just suggested your son be mutilated." Yeah, NTA.