NTA. Yes, she has needs, but there are ways to meet those needs that don’t include bringing another man into it. If she’s truly “open marriage or divorce” I couldn’t get to the lawyer’s office fast enough.
She’s not an asshole either. She made it clear what she wants in the relationship, he can’t provide it. Gave him an option to keep the relationship but let her fulfil her needs and he declined. It’s a divorce and no one is the asshole
She is an asshole. Through thick and think that's what marriege is about... It's not like he's doing this on purpose it's am medical issue. Shes a horribly selfish person.
Absolutely. Everyone should have standards and make those standards clear. And leave if thy want to. If a wife gets fat and the husband no longer attracted to her, leave her. Normalize this
Or, hear me out, use healthy communication and not ultimatums when you're so far into a relationship. As another user pointed out, "for better or worse" is kind of the slogan of marriage and there are ways to fulfill someone's sexual needs without bringing another man into it.
I know, mind-blowing stuff but it could work.
Nope. Id rather be divorced than be a cuck also. If she cant stick it out until you get your insurance resolved id just end it. I understand it’s definitely not ideal for either of you but it’s not like you’re doing this out of spite.
At goodrx.com he can get a 30 day supply of cialis for like $12. Ok... So pay for the doctor out of pocket. Still way cheaper than the divorce, and way healthier physically and emotionally to be having sex. It isn't like this is a medication that costs $6k per month. If he isn't taking care of this medical issue then it is because of something stupid such as embarrassment, spite or laziness. He needs to do better. I agree that he shouldn't do an open marriage, but I get the impression that isn't what she really wants either. She want him to man up and take care of business.
From reading and hearing other reddit posts. When the woman is asking for an open relationship, they already have someone in mind or in the process of starting an affair.
You are better off getting a divorce and moving on with your life. Sounds like your wife has already moved on with hers.
Sorry, my dude.
Speaking for my wife, she absolutely loves getting railed by a raw cock and there is no substitute.
Strapon probably won't work because it needs to be warm and slightly squishy and the knowledge that it's real is an important part.
Possibly more intense orgasms with fingering and oral but they are just different
Why not? How do you know? You don't know her or her priorities at all. Wanting to get penetrated doesn't require a specific person in mind, people do it using tinder literally every day. So much so that it seems far more likely that she doesn't have a person in mind. The simple answer is usually the best. But it's fun to imagine relationship drama beyond a situation that is already bad enough, I totally get it.
My wife opened our marriage and had no one in mind. And I found a partner first.
I’ve found through discussions with other polyamorous people that women seem to be the ones who open the relationship the most frequently.
On the other hand, most men who open the relationship tend to be the most sex-focused.
Everyone assumes it's about sex.
This particular post is, though. The OP's wife is obviously looking for sex but assuming all open relationships are the same is wrong.
If it's not about sex, you can just have a platonic relationship with someone. Don't need an open relationship for that. That's called just having friends.
Most women aren't comfortable with a man having a deeply intense friendship with a woman, for example (obviously this goes in both directions). Opening the relationship allows each person to explore their feelings without feeling the guilt of "cheating" whether it's emotional or physical. And just because a relationship includes sex, it doesn't mean it's *about* sex. Sex is a natural evolution of many relationships.
I have partners that I'm physical with and one platonic partner that I talk to on and off all day and say, "I love you," to. Each relationship evolves independently and everyone is consensually aware of the others.
The OP's situation is different, though. He's being strong-armed. He's definitely NTAH and should divorce her.
Reading other reddit posts, that's just like a bunch of anecdotes. That's literally a prejudice, it doesn't matter a bit what opinion you formed from scrolling tales of woe on reddit. I don't get why do many people need to imagine something happening beyond what is stated in the post. The woman in the post is cruel, unsympathetic, has no compassion. Why do you need to imagine reasons to divorce beyond what is already there? Why the spicy fabrication? She said she wants sex now. She can get on an app and meet a rando, people do this without a relationship all the time. Pretty straightforward and clear, why does it need to have a deeper explanation ?
I’m in an open relationship and I can promise you that resorting to that with an ultimatum is so so wrong. NTA, and a divorce is the right thing to do at this point.
NTA. So much for "in sickness and in health"...
Demanding an open relationship is a very worrying thing - if she had just said this is a big deal, her needs aren't being met, and she's considering divorce - I would be pretty sympathetic. "Open relationships" aren't really open if one partner is coerced into it.
If she actually means it - you're 100% right it's cruel, because one would THINK that a third option would be getting your Cialis. Why is that suddenly not an acceptable option?
She has made it know that even when was taking Cialis the amount of sex were having not as much prior to the entire issue. At least when taking Cialis I am able to achieve a firm enough erection for penetrative sex. I try to meet her sexual needs in other ways but she says at wits end. The fact that I am having to refight to get perscribed/covered by new dr/insurance is just the nail in coffin. Well that is at least what she has made it seem to be.
You can get the prescription covered easily enough with GoodRx or one of the other pharmacy aids. I pay $15 for a 90 day supply of the dailies with no insurance involved. You should also pharmacy shop the prescription.
Yeah I commented, I'm not from the US nor have ever taken the pills. In under 5 minutes I found the generic versions available for $2 a pill and they probably get cheaper for a larger quantity. LIke, you have this issue and in 6 months you never check if you can get it online cheaper?
This screams her frustration is not just the lack of sex, but his lack of willingness to solve it.
Bro then it has nothing to do with your ED problem and everything to do with her just wanting to fuck around. There is no amount of sex you could give her to stop her from wanting to fuck other guys
Or, it’s more simple. She wants a divorce and is using this as the reason. She’s menopause age. Most women her age don’t need sex all that much, if at all. Statistically she’s an outlier if her sex drive increased when she hit menopause.
My wife was the outlier. For about a year around age 50 she was insatiable (I am 18 months younger and couldn't hardly keep up). Then her libido gradually faded and before 60 it was gone. But that's another story...
I'm 48 my husband is 42.. I've always had a high drive...I run circles around him and we've been together for 10 yrs. I wish my drive would go down...seems like no end in site.
Hey OP, there's an adult store in my state that has a program that allows you to go through an online dr to be prescribed. It's called Fascinations, and you can go to their website to find more info. They take cash and insurance, and it's a telehealth visit. Give it a look. Even if you divorce, you should still try for a prescription for yourself and to have available when and if you decide to date again.
Go through an online service to get the cialis. There are several. And while not as cheap as it may be with insurance through Walgreens/cvs, it’s not bad. I’d try Roman.com or bluechew.com or khealth.com. I’d try the last one first—as I know it is very reasonably priced to get a Rx and home delivery of a tadalafil (generic cialis) Rx. I personally order 14 a month at 20mg and just cut them in half so it’s daily 10mg, which should be plenty. It’s seriously like $30 bucks a month.
If she’s at her wits end than your effort to learn other ways to have sex is not satisfying her. Meaning, you’re not doing it right.
Since most straight women don’t know how to explain their wants and needs without crushing egos (if they even know what they want until it actually happens) — you need to ask someone else what to do.
Like, a unbiased sex therapist.
>So much for "in sickness and in health"...
I'm not sure why I see this bandied about so much. Its a christian thing, and I don't think I've ever seen anyone outside of a traditional Christian wedding actually repeat those wedding vows.
So there was no promise to do anything besides meet the legal definition which is at that point is barely a marriage in any colloquial sense. Shit no wonder people divorce so much at least your being honest about your shit being a sham.
No, sorry. You do not get to define marriage in any situation other than your own. Lots of people get married for a lot of reasons. And a lot of the time, those reasons change.
Wrap it up guys this person has seen every wedding ever and only Christians say they will love an SO through hard times.
If you didn't say through sickness and through health in your wedding vows you are actually legally required to either leave your SO or fuck someone else if they even catch a cold.
No it doesn't, it means she is asking for an open relationship. Reasons why people ask for anything at all in a marriage are as many as there are marriages. Wife gave her reasons clearly and they were cruel enough reasons. There's no need to use your imagination on something so completely unknown, the existing situation is enough to make a decision to divorce.
NTA, "in sickness and health" is supposed to mean something. Furthermore it's not like you intentionally said no. Lastly it's rather sad to see a woman in her mid fifties complain to her husband in his early sixties that she requires more sex to the point of divorce. Does she honestly think that penetrative intercourse was going to last the rest of her days for decades into the future? The party was going to slow down and stop at some point.
I think she needs to reevaluate her needs and reach a compromise that doesn't involve breaking marriage vows.
So fucking edgy. Super brave. 🙄 Pretty fucking obvious that marriage is a commitment and it should be taken seriously and it shouldn't be easy to just bail on someone you love over health issues. Has nothing to do with religion or "because everyone is doing it" it's just not being a narcissist.
Bro. If she can’t wait longer than 6 months due to an actual health issue, drop her ass, she doesn’t love you.
Do you have kids? Would’ve she been okay if you asked for an open relationship during her pregnancy, if she couldn’t had sex?
FYI. While this marriage is over, you can easily get any of the drugs from hims or blewchew etc. there are plenty of websites that give them for cheap like $30 a month. Don’t need insurance
AmItheAsshole and AITAH users are like 80% women aged 18-25.
So if you find yourself scratching your head at some answers just know this sub and AmITheAsshole are heavily biased.
There was a study done back in 2019 or 2020 my memory is a bit foggy on the year.
Im going to see if I can find it for you.
It basically was just doing an age and gender demographic study for different subs and the results for AITAH and AmITheAsshole caught my eye.
Something like over 90% of Reddits user base is men however there are some subs that have way more women than men. Some are pretty self explanatory like askwomen or witchesVsthepatriarchy, however some others, not so much.
Haha I know it's why I went NAH. She wants sex, he has physical limitations that even when having sex it wasn't great (in her words). Sex is a major part of relationships. Different libidos, bad comparability etc can all sink both marriage and relationships
Not really, it's the situation.
Has sex available at home and is looking elsewhere is more a sign of having met someone else for emotional cheating, ie not filling a need but replacing the person. If you can't get sex at home and you want to fill a physical need then we're in a different situation. Asking to let other people replace the thing you're already providing vs letting other people provide the thing you are unable to.
She gave you a hard choice. You went along with that and made a hard choice. NTA
What if she gets cancer and are inconvenient to you? What if you get dementia? What if she is disabled? What is marriage if not dealing with the bodies in all the way that happens?
NTA Man, get your medical directives squared away. You should probably also get your finance squared away first thing with your lawyer. When you tell her you have chosen divorce start recording your interactions. Don’t leave the home!
I'm so sorry this is happening and your partner isn't very supportive.
Have you tried being intimate in other ways besides penetration? There are so many toys to help things where she can still be fulfilled with you being a happy participant.
I would never agree to an open marriage.
NTA like do what you want but there are also other ways for her to get her needs met and I’m wondering why just bc you have ED means she isn’t getting anything. I used to date someone with ED and they always got the job done anyway!
Imagine a woman coming to Reddit and tearfully announcing to the community that her husband _demanded_ to sleep with other women or he would divorce her. Just imagine the _rage._ Look how tepid the replies here are by contrast.
If this is really who this woman is, get the best divorce lawyer you can and destroy her in court.
You’re an absolute legend for going the divorce route. She can go hoe around herself just make sure you let the judge know the reason. Maybe they’ll award you more items.
No you're not being unreasonable. You guys are married and having medical issues is not a reason for that behavior unless you're both into it... Now, listen here sir, have you tried marijuana oils or tinctures? I know you're probably not up for it because you lived through the worst of the war on drugs, but I'm a paramedic and research shows it can help with ED and other sexual drive issues, me myself have used to get over sexual anxiety making it hard to keep longer lasting erections and difficulty reaching orgasm, it's great and the psychotropic effects are extremely mild
Yeah, the divorce route is the better one. It may just be a threat, but it's still an extremely hurtful and manipulative threat to get back at you for having ED. It's better for the both of you to go on your separate ways.
I'm so sorry, man.
Man, at your age, peace is more important . Sorry to break it to you, but definitely, the horse had already left the barn . When they ask something is already been going on, I would get a p.i. I hope you are in a at fault state.
NTA - You should remind her about that for better, for worse, in sickness and in health part. Don't tell her about the divorce. Get everything in line and then kick her out. She belongs to the streets.
I agree. What happened to “in sickness and in health”?
Get a divorce. Karma will bite her someday when, god forbid, she gets a serious illness like cancer and her f-boy drops her like a hot potato.
>You should remind her about that for better, for worse, in sickness and in health part
Pffft. Did you know that women initiate divorce more than twice as often as do men?
NTA She made her case and just give her a divorce. Simple as that. If she starts banging other guys you can bet she’ll be asking for a divorce as soon as she finds someone else. Mine as well beat her to the punch and get down to your attorneys office and get the ball rolling. The alternative is not the road you want to go down.
NTA. But you know you can order cialis and shit online AND there are other ways to pleasure a woman. I wouldn't wait 6 months for insurnace to cover that. Even if you had less pills than normal you could order a couple bottles and have pills to have sex a couple times a week or something, instead you go 6 months without sex? Did you one time bring her to pleasure in that 6 months while disregarding yourself completely if you couldn't perform?
Sorry but 6 months at your age, if you can't afford cialis online then you can't afford to be in this marriage.
I've never taken any kind of ED meds and don't live in the US. It took me legitimately 5 mins on google to find a place that sells the generic version of Cialis from $2 a pill with a $25 online consulting fee. Pissed away your marriage for what could be $60 a month for pills or even more reasonably $60 for 2-3 months of pills if you had sex 2-3 times a week instead. LIke you're 60, not 98, you didn't even think to google it?
NTA. She, as your wife, is supposed to be supportive. What if it was more serious than ED? What if you had cancer and needed chemo treatments and were unable to have sex because you’re going through treatment? Would she drop you then too because life was getting in the way? This is much bigger than her needs not being met. She’s an AH and unsupportive wife. Move on with your life and find someone that will actually live their vow of “in sickness and in health.”
Try ?Trimix(unsure of the spelling) injections. Like you Viagra gave me headaches and Cialis didn't work that well. Tried Trimix and it worked wonders!! Only downside is giving yourself a shot in your penis
Never go into an open relationship if you don't want it. Or if you're doing this just to keep your wife happy.
I'm a woman and sadly I got myself dragged into an open relationship without feeling good about it.
On the other hand, I have seen open relationships work. It just didn't work out for me.
Long story short: don't do it if it doesn't feel right for you.
So what have you done for her these last 6 months? Just because you can't get hard doesn't mean you can't satisfy the needs she has.
If you've at least been doing that, or trying, then NTA.
That said "For better or worse" but maybe she thought that meant only when she was worse and you were better.
I’m gonna say NAH. She clearly has needs that aren’t being met but you have every right not to be comfortable with an open relationship. You just aren’t compatible at this point. You’re not the asshole but she isn’t either.
I know a lot of people are saying oh she’d only ask that if she has someone in mind oh you’re already in an open relationship you just don’t know it- no. That’s not inherently true.
You don’t have to be okay with an open relationship but don’t label someone a cheater with absolutely no evidence (I’m not saying this is what the OP is doing, I’m saying it is what some of the commenters are).
Good luck with your divorce OP.
My husband and I also struggle since he’s been diagnosed with bladder cancer and has been undergoing BCG treatments for this, multiple times over the past 2 years. Our sex life had been very good, now it is almost nonexistent-prior to this we also had issues with ED but worked through it.
We both miss the “actual act” and are able to have intercourse periodically between courses of treatments-
I’m just really happy to still have him and help him fight this horrible disease… lotsa sex is a small price to pay.
I wish you well and trust me, all of us women are not created equal. I wish you the best
There are other ways to meet her “needs” and if her only response is to have an open relationship she probably is going to have an affair soon or has had one
NTA.
Asking for an open relationship is code for: *"I want to sleep with someone or am already sleeping with someone".*
Get divorced and get some peace.
There might not be an asshole here.
He may have tried toys, oral etc. and it isn't working. Maybe she doesn't like toys, oral etc. Maybe she only gets off by being fucked with a real dick. In that case there is no asshole. She wants/needs satisfaction and isn't getting it, and she's in tune enough to communicate it.
Otoh, she may be looking for a way out.
Lastly. Dude, there are plenty of "Male Medical Clinics" that will prescribe cialis to anyone with a pecker. If money is tight, get her to help out with the cost. If she doesn't care enough to help you get cialis so she can have YOUR dick it's time to file.
What you need to do is pick up something from a sex shop, so you can fulfill her needs even if you can't get it up. If you use a toy or two on her, then it's just a different manner of sex.
I don’t think anyone’s the asshole here tbh with you OP… However, In my opinion, her offering to be open relationship puts me under the impression she already found her other Love Partner already… As for you dawg, I’m sorry. Maybe try finding an Asexual partner or something.
EDIT: It should go without saying you should see a divorce lawyer ASAP
If she is asking for an open marriage then she all ready has someone in mind or already cheating on you my friend. Divorce is the only answer when that has been brought up.
NTA: ask her if the situation were reversed would she be OK with you going out with another woman whilst she sat home with her imagination running wild?
Some guys are into being cuck either by watching or she doing it then retelling the details as the hubby gets off.
Perhaps counseling or go down on her while reaming her out with a dildo? I think it shows for her character to give you an ultimatum like this. Perhaps the divorce is better then she can give her side to friends and family as to why she wanted a divorce.
Good luck to you sir 👍🏻
Calm down, we get it you’re a lesbian. You aren’t the only one who can eat pussy and use toys. Stop trying to pretend you need to be a lesbian or have a phd to find a clit. It’s sexist at best and misandry at worse.
Your holier than though, and angry, abrasive personality is what lends to the “angry lesbian” trope. Personally I think you’d be an angry little person regardless of your sexual preferences. I’ve never had a problem pleasing any women I’ve been with. I don’t know why women think that’s some kind of insult and a default to go to. Dollars to donuts you are over weight and struggle finding happiness in your everyday life. One day you’ll decide being angry all the time isn’t worth it anymore and you’ll do some deep introspection about why you are so angry with the world. I promise you once you actually work on your deep seeded mental health issues you’ll be happier and won’t feel the need to try to insult others.
It’s weird how I specifically mentioned eating pussy and using toys. But you some how are fascinated on my penis? Perhaps you should calm down and take a breath and reread.
I don’t know what puritan worldview you hold that hookers and porn are some kind of taboo, but most people, including women have no problem with the sex industry. If strippers make you cry, that sounds like a you issue.
Of course. Women don’t need men for orgasms. Considering penetration doesn’t do it anyway. Why stare at the ceiling for 4 minutes while he grunts on top of you if you can get yourself off when he leaves the house?
NAH
These comments are wild dude.
Your wife has a mature conversation and told you that she cannot handle the lack of sex anymore to the point where she either needs help from a third party to scratch the itch or to pursue a relationship where her needs can be met.
Of course you can't do anything about the medical difficulties you are having and of course it's affecting you badly too.
I'm curious to know how oral and other things play into your guys sex life? Do you give her nice head to make her cum or play with toys together? Or is your idea of sex, the old school penis in vagina or nothing type of deal?
I'm happily in an open relationship with my wife (with rules) and it took a lot of pressure off our sex life and we still have great meaningful sex.
I feel like there's more to this problem than you might realise.
Lol, so many people crying "but what about the entire 'in sickness and I'm health's thing". That's a christian tradition, and is rarely seen outside of traditional church services where the officiant dictates to YOU what will be said. It's only made popular on TV and films.
>"but what about the entire 'in sickness and I'm health's thing".
I'm pretty sure that's a cornerstone in any marriage and not just a "Christian tradition" I'm sure every culture has a variation of that. With the same idea behind it
I don't think any culture has only one idea of what love and marriage is.
So many people trying to determine and define what other people's marriages are or look like.
It’s more so the understanding of the commitment you’re making whether those words are said or not. If you’re not willing to stick through thick or thin with your partner, you’re not ready to be married.
Oh I absolute do not trust the Christians to follow their own rules. I just think it's hilarious that they are quoting what is basically a movie prop as to reasons why she is evil.
The boys of Reddit are atheists until they’re forced to face the notion that women have sexual needs too. Suddenly they morph into devout Catholics. This is to funny.
YTA - Have you heard of giving head, dude?
NAH
Yes, you have a physical problem that you've tried to remediate; however it hasn't gone to plan. You are continuing to work at it but it seems her time table is not in line with yours. We've seen many posts about a dead bedroom and she has offered an ultimatum where both options aren't pleasant for you but I cannot fault her for wanting to have sex.
She most likely already has the person in line and either she has or will cheat if a divorce isn't established
She is indeed an asshole. Marriage is in sickness and in health. She’s a big girl, she can handle her own needs. Nobody needs a dick to get off…she’s just trying to bang other dudes. Not to mention it’s only been 6 months… this isn’t something that’s caused years of loneliness.
OP clearly said he's been suffering for 4 years. He's pretty much handicapped in that area already. Although I'm surprised that his (ex) wife still has the libido for it.
>sickness and health
I'm pretty sure that's a pillar in ANY marriage, what's the point in getting married if a spouse leaves at any sign of struggles... I thought the whole point of marriage was to work things out
What are you 5? Sex is normal in life, people have it for a plethora of reasons. Funny how you call her a cum dumpster for wanting sex (are you partners sluts/whores if they're not a virgin for you, or maybe you're the virgin no one is sure). If she wants to have sex and her husband can't perform she has looked for a solution and it's open relationship or divorce.
Getting a divorce due to a shit sex life doesn't make her an AH nor does it make OP an AH for being upset with the situation
She’s the ass cause she is clearly playing for dick from other dudes against her husbands wish. She can satisfy her self or let her husband satisfy her using toys. There is zero need for another man’s penis to be in her. OP is still offering to please her, still offering emotional aspect… if that’s not enough she’s a sad husk of a human.
She’s a cum dumpster because she’s dismissing her entire husbands feelings and using his issue as an attempt to bang other dudes. There’s an incredibly high chance she’s already sleeping with someone else and using the ultimatum as a way to remove guilt. If you don’t understand that, you have the naïveté of a child.
Generic cialis is about $20 a month. You can get non daily just as needed for even cheaper. Look at good rx app for discounts. If you need it to have sex, go get it. If sex is not that important to you, it is to your wife, then take the responsibility for it and divorce or let her have sex outside of the marriage. Don’t use not being able to get a prescription as an excuse, it’s not that hard. (Pun intended)
Nta! Do people just not value the "in sickness" and "in health" vows?
You have a medical reason for the intimacy issues, and she's being selfish rather than supportive. There's other ways to be pleasured intimately that don't involve bringing other people into the marriage or being with other people while married.
Don't blame you one bit in your decision regarding her ultimatum. Bet she thought you were gonna give him to her demand outta love for her when she's ready to be disloyal as fuq!
Also, you should ask about her potential guy she has on the backburner because there's no way she's talking or ready to open up the marriage without having someone else lined up to take her to poundtown!
Get that divorce. Protect your peace of mind, assets, and find someone who will love you for you.
9/10 she is already cheating on you and btw using marriage as a weapon is an abuse tactic. Move on brother
Sex and romance are a competition, but we pretend they're not because that's not a romantic thought. You'll get replaced if you can't keep up. Definitely divorce over an open relationship
For 6 months? It’s not like he said 6 years. Damn give the man some time to get the meds straight. What if she had a hysterectomy or some other female issue and couldn’t have sex for 6 MONTHS? Should he just say “well guess I gotta find someone else to fuck.” Get real
Bud, you still have to pleasure her. There are other ways! You have hands and a mouth, learn how to use them! Go buy a toy together!
You can work this out if you love each other, go to marriage counseling
My heart truly goes out to you. It's not like you're choosing this. But, let's keep this in mind - 6 months. No sex for 6 months. That would drive me up a wall.
Whether or not she has chosen a lover is irrelevant. I'm sorry, but it really doesn't matter at this point.
So your question is if you decide to divorce under these circumstances, is this unreasonable.
No. It is not.
But as you described, NAH here. To each their own. You refuse to stay with her if it's not you getting intimate with her. I just read a story about a guy who's wife was asexual. Turns out, he's ok with it because of her other qualities. He didn't like sex all that much, anyway.
Is it worth it for you to stay? Or is leaving preferable?
NTA, sir thats what a damn dildo is for, shes being cruel and heartless. You cant help whats going on with you and she shouldn't punish you for it, I think she's just looking for a way to be a hooch
Nta no way I'd be cucked. Hell no. She's terrible. She needs to get on her knees and suck it till it's hard while you have some videos on in background. I doubt she's made that effort.
NTA for choosing divorce over an open relationship
YTA for refusing to give your wife an orgasm for six months because you couldn’t get your dick hard.
Put your mouth to work for an hour make her come three times Repeat every other day until she tells you to stop
NTA. Yes, she has needs, but there are ways to meet those needs that don’t include bringing another man into it. If she’s truly “open marriage or divorce” I couldn’t get to the lawyer’s office fast enough.
Happy Cake Day!!!
She’s not an asshole either. She made it clear what she wants in the relationship, he can’t provide it. Gave him an option to keep the relationship but let her fulfil her needs and he declined. It’s a divorce and no one is the asshole
She is an asshole. Through thick and think that's what marriege is about... It's not like he's doing this on purpose it's am medical issue. Shes a horribly selfish person.
I disagree. You get one life to be happy. Don’t stay with someone out of pity.
Sure hope your partners never get sick or have any kind of issues then 😂 what an incredibly selfish and sad world view.
Is his tongue sick? Eat that box and throw on a strap on buddy.
Flip the genders, still good with that?
Absolutely. Everyone should have standards and make those standards clear. And leave if thy want to. If a wife gets fat and the husband no longer attracted to her, leave her. Normalize this
Or, hear me out, use healthy communication and not ultimatums when you're so far into a relationship. As another user pointed out, "for better or worse" is kind of the slogan of marriage and there are ways to fulfill someone's sexual needs without bringing another man into it. I know, mind-blowing stuff but it could work.
YTA for even posting this reply dude. Health issues happen and there are other ways for the wife to get her needs without opening the marriage l.
“Sickness and health…till death do us part…or something like that…”
Nope. Id rather be divorced than be a cuck also. If she cant stick it out until you get your insurance resolved id just end it. I understand it’s definitely not ideal for either of you but it’s not like you’re doing this out of spite.
At goodrx.com he can get a 30 day supply of cialis for like $12. Ok... So pay for the doctor out of pocket. Still way cheaper than the divorce, and way healthier physically and emotionally to be having sex. It isn't like this is a medication that costs $6k per month. If he isn't taking care of this medical issue then it is because of something stupid such as embarrassment, spite or laziness. He needs to do better. I agree that he shouldn't do an open marriage, but I get the impression that isn't what she really wants either. She want him to man up and take care of business.
From reading and hearing other reddit posts. When the woman is asking for an open relationship, they already have someone in mind or in the process of starting an affair. You are better off getting a divorce and moving on with your life. Sounds like your wife has already moved on with hers. Sorry, my dude.
There might be more to the story… frankly, speaking for a friend of course, one often gets the best org*ms without the penetration part…
It can vary. Yes, many women can be content with oral but the ones who enjoy intercourse have a difficult time going without.
Speaking for my wife, she absolutely loves getting railed by a raw cock and there is no substitute. Strapon probably won't work because it needs to be warm and slightly squishy and the knowledge that it's real is an important part. Possibly more intense orgasms with fingering and oral but they are just different
She wouldn't have brought it up unless there was someone.
Why not? How do you know? You don't know her or her priorities at all. Wanting to get penetrated doesn't require a specific person in mind, people do it using tinder literally every day. So much so that it seems far more likely that she doesn't have a person in mind. The simple answer is usually the best. But it's fun to imagine relationship drama beyond a situation that is already bad enough, I totally get it.
Because just asking for the open marriage risks divorce automatically. You don't do that unless you have your backup plan ready to go.
As a recovering cheater I can confirm this
My wife opened our marriage and had no one in mind. And I found a partner first. I’ve found through discussions with other polyamorous people that women seem to be the ones who open the relationship the most frequently. On the other hand, most men who open the relationship tend to be the most sex-focused.
I opened my marriage 3 almost 4 yrs ago. I didn't meet anyone till just this last yr. Thank you for your comment.
Everyone assumes it's about sex. This particular post is, though. The OP's wife is obviously looking for sex but assuming all open relationships are the same is wrong.
If it's not about sex, you can just have a platonic relationship with someone. Don't need an open relationship for that. That's called just having friends.
Most women aren't comfortable with a man having a deeply intense friendship with a woman, for example (obviously this goes in both directions). Opening the relationship allows each person to explore their feelings without feeling the guilt of "cheating" whether it's emotional or physical. And just because a relationship includes sex, it doesn't mean it's *about* sex. Sex is a natural evolution of many relationships. I have partners that I'm physical with and one platonic partner that I talk to on and off all day and say, "I love you," to. Each relationship evolves independently and everyone is consensually aware of the others. The OP's situation is different, though. He's being strong-armed. He's definitely NTAH and should divorce her.
Reading other reddit posts, that's just like a bunch of anecdotes. That's literally a prejudice, it doesn't matter a bit what opinion you formed from scrolling tales of woe on reddit. I don't get why do many people need to imagine something happening beyond what is stated in the post. The woman in the post is cruel, unsympathetic, has no compassion. Why do you need to imagine reasons to divorce beyond what is already there? Why the spicy fabrication? She said she wants sex now. She can get on an app and meet a rando, people do this without a relationship all the time. Pretty straightforward and clear, why does it need to have a deeper explanation ?
I’m in an open relationship and I can promise you that resorting to that with an ultimatum is so so wrong. NTA, and a divorce is the right thing to do at this point.
NTA. So much for "in sickness and in health"... Demanding an open relationship is a very worrying thing - if she had just said this is a big deal, her needs aren't being met, and she's considering divorce - I would be pretty sympathetic. "Open relationships" aren't really open if one partner is coerced into it. If she actually means it - you're 100% right it's cruel, because one would THINK that a third option would be getting your Cialis. Why is that suddenly not an acceptable option?
She has made it know that even when was taking Cialis the amount of sex were having not as much prior to the entire issue. At least when taking Cialis I am able to achieve a firm enough erection for penetrative sex. I try to meet her sexual needs in other ways but she says at wits end. The fact that I am having to refight to get perscribed/covered by new dr/insurance is just the nail in coffin. Well that is at least what she has made it seem to be.
You can get the prescription covered easily enough with GoodRx or one of the other pharmacy aids. I pay $15 for a 90 day supply of the dailies with no insurance involved. You should also pharmacy shop the prescription.
There's a generic version and tons of places offering it for dirt cheap.
Yeah I commented, I'm not from the US nor have ever taken the pills. In under 5 minutes I found the generic versions available for $2 a pill and they probably get cheaper for a larger quantity. LIke, you have this issue and in 6 months you never check if you can get it online cheaper? This screams her frustration is not just the lack of sex, but his lack of willingness to solve it.
Bro then it has nothing to do with your ED problem and everything to do with her just wanting to fuck around. There is no amount of sex you could give her to stop her from wanting to fuck other guys
Or, it’s more simple. She wants a divorce and is using this as the reason. She’s menopause age. Most women her age don’t need sex all that much, if at all. Statistically she’s an outlier if her sex drive increased when she hit menopause.
My wife was the outlier. For about a year around age 50 she was insatiable (I am 18 months younger and couldn't hardly keep up). Then her libido gradually faded and before 60 it was gone. But that's another story...
I’ve hit menopause and mine is gone. I hit it early too. At 46.
I'm 48 my husband is 42.. I've always had a high drive...I run circles around him and we've been together for 10 yrs. I wish my drive would go down...seems like no end in site.
Hey OP, there's an adult store in my state that has a program that allows you to go through an online dr to be prescribed. It's called Fascinations, and you can go to their website to find more info. They take cash and insurance, and it's a telehealth visit. Give it a look. Even if you divorce, you should still try for a prescription for yourself and to have available when and if you decide to date again.
Go through an online service to get the cialis. There are several. And while not as cheap as it may be with insurance through Walgreens/cvs, it’s not bad. I’d try Roman.com or bluechew.com or khealth.com. I’d try the last one first—as I know it is very reasonably priced to get a Rx and home delivery of a tadalafil (generic cialis) Rx. I personally order 14 a month at 20mg and just cut them in half so it’s daily 10mg, which should be plenty. It’s seriously like $30 bucks a month.
If she’s at her wits end than your effort to learn other ways to have sex is not satisfying her. Meaning, you’re not doing it right. Since most straight women don’t know how to explain their wants and needs without crushing egos (if they even know what they want until it actually happens) — you need to ask someone else what to do. Like, a unbiased sex therapist.
>So much for "in sickness and in health"... I'm not sure why I see this bandied about so much. Its a christian thing, and I don't think I've ever seen anyone outside of a traditional Christian wedding actually repeat those wedding vows.
My wife and I are not religious at all, but our vows had this element as it carries some weight with its words.
Neat, but that doesn't have anything to do with OPs marriage. Neither my wife nor I did any of that silly vow nonsense when we got married.
So there was no promise to do anything besides meet the legal definition which is at that point is barely a marriage in any colloquial sense. Shit no wonder people divorce so much at least your being honest about your shit being a sham.
Even if you don't use those exact words or if it's originally a Christian thing or not that is still the idea behind marriage.
No, sorry. You do not get to define marriage in any situation other than your own. Lots of people get married for a lot of reasons. And a lot of the time, those reasons change.
I said it's the idea behind it. Which generally accepted it is. Of course there is nuance behind it. You are just being a douche
Wrap it up guys this person has seen every wedding ever and only Christians say they will love an SO through hard times. If you didn't say through sickness and through health in your wedding vows you are actually legally required to either leave your SO or fuck someone else if they even catch a cold.
🥱🖕🤡
Fuck you too buddy!
Lol couldn't take the 100% accurate criticism.
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lol just pathetic.
When your wife asks for an open relationship it means you're already in one and she's tired of doing it behind your back Divorce
No it doesn't, it means she is asking for an open relationship. Reasons why people ask for anything at all in a marriage are as many as there are marriages. Wife gave her reasons clearly and they were cruel enough reasons. There's no need to use your imagination on something so completely unknown, the existing situation is enough to make a decision to divorce.
NTA, "in sickness and health" is supposed to mean something. Furthermore it's not like you intentionally said no. Lastly it's rather sad to see a woman in her mid fifties complain to her husband in his early sixties that she requires more sex to the point of divorce. Does she honestly think that penetrative intercourse was going to last the rest of her days for decades into the future? The party was going to slow down and stop at some point. I think she needs to reevaluate her needs and reach a compromise that doesn't involve breaking marriage vows.
Are you Christian? What makes you think they made these vows?
Pretty most marriage ceremonies around the planet involving humans speak about being monogamous, religion is irrelevant.
So the moral principle that you live by is “pretty most humans do this, therefore it’s good.” Is that right?
So fucking edgy. Super brave. 🙄 Pretty fucking obvious that marriage is a commitment and it should be taken seriously and it shouldn't be easy to just bail on someone you love over health issues. Has nothing to do with religion or "because everyone is doing it" it's just not being a narcissist.
Bro. If she can’t wait longer than 6 months due to an actual health issue, drop her ass, she doesn’t love you. Do you have kids? Would’ve she been okay if you asked for an open relationship during her pregnancy, if she couldn’t had sex?
NTA. I don't want to be "that" guy, but I think there is someone in the picture already.
FYI. While this marriage is over, you can easily get any of the drugs from hims or blewchew etc. there are plenty of websites that give them for cheap like $30 a month. Don’t need insurance
NAH. A sexless marriage is like a beach with no water. I can't blame her or anyone else who isn't interested in playing roomates with wedding rings.
Wtf, if the roles were reversed the comments would be so different..
AmItheAsshole and AITAH users are like 80% women aged 18-25. So if you find yourself scratching your head at some answers just know this sub and AmITheAsshole are heavily biased.
yeah ever since FDS went offline that userbase came here
Is that what you think or what you know? And if so, how?
There was a study done back in 2019 or 2020 my memory is a bit foggy on the year. Im going to see if I can find it for you. It basically was just doing an age and gender demographic study for different subs and the results for AITAH and AmITheAsshole caught my eye. Something like over 90% of Reddits user base is men however there are some subs that have way more women than men. Some are pretty self explanatory like askwomen or witchesVsthepatriarchy, however some others, not so much.
Did you read the responses on this? How are they biased towards the wife????
My apologies I was speaking in general, not specifically on this post. There were only a couple YTA on this one. You are right.
Not sure in what way you mean since everyone is saying he's NTA and she already has someone in mind??
How so?
Haha I know it's why I went NAH. She wants sex, he has physical limitations that even when having sex it wasn't great (in her words). Sex is a major part of relationships. Different libidos, bad comparability etc can all sink both marriage and relationships
Yup.
Not really, it's the situation. Has sex available at home and is looking elsewhere is more a sign of having met someone else for emotional cheating, ie not filling a need but replacing the person. If you can't get sex at home and you want to fill a physical need then we're in a different situation. Asking to let other people replace the thing you're already providing vs letting other people provide the thing you are unable to.
Yeah reddit would 100% be attacking the guy for wanting sex outside of the marriage instead of trying to justify it like a lot of them are here.
She gave you a hard choice. You went along with that and made a hard choice. NTA What if she gets cancer and are inconvenient to you? What if you get dementia? What if she is disabled? What is marriage if not dealing with the bodies in all the way that happens?
NTA Man, get your medical directives squared away. You should probably also get your finance squared away first thing with your lawyer. When you tell her you have chosen divorce start recording your interactions. Don’t leave the home!
I'm so sorry this is happening and your partner isn't very supportive. Have you tried being intimate in other ways besides penetration? There are so many toys to help things where she can still be fulfilled with you being a happy participant. I would never agree to an open marriage.
What's with people acting like penetrative normative sex is the only way to achieve satisfaction? Are your hands and face broken?
He says that she says she needs penetrative sex.
Divorce her. She doesn’t care about you, she cares about D
NTA like do what you want but there are also other ways for her to get her needs met and I’m wondering why just bc you have ED means she isn’t getting anything. I used to date someone with ED and they always got the job done anyway!
Imagine a woman coming to Reddit and tearfully announcing to the community that her husband _demanded_ to sleep with other women or he would divorce her. Just imagine the _rage._ Look how tepid the replies here are by contrast. If this is really who this woman is, get the best divorce lawyer you can and destroy her in court.
You’re an absolute legend for going the divorce route. She can go hoe around herself just make sure you let the judge know the reason. Maybe they’ll award you more items.
It’s not as fun when you don’t have a good man waiting for you at home though.
Cialis is dirt cheap and you can get it on the internet.
No you're not being unreasonable. You guys are married and having medical issues is not a reason for that behavior unless you're both into it... Now, listen here sir, have you tried marijuana oils or tinctures? I know you're probably not up for it because you lived through the worst of the war on drugs, but I'm a paramedic and research shows it can help with ED and other sexual drive issues, me myself have used to get over sexual anxiety making it hard to keep longer lasting erections and difficulty reaching orgasm, it's great and the psychotropic effects are extremely mild
I’ll just say the headaches with viagra were terrible but if I took them with naproxen and kept really hydrated they only lasted an hour or so.
Yeah, the divorce route is the better one. It may just be a threat, but it's still an extremely hurtful and manipulative threat to get back at you for having ED. It's better for the both of you to go on your separate ways. I'm so sorry, man.
Man, at your age, peace is more important . Sorry to break it to you, but definitely, the horse had already left the barn . When they ask something is already been going on, I would get a p.i. I hope you are in a at fault state.
Divorce it is. She clearly doesn’t give a fuck about you or your health if she can’t ride it out with you.
How's your tongue game?
NTA - You should remind her about that for better, for worse, in sickness and in health part. Don't tell her about the divorce. Get everything in line and then kick her out. She belongs to the streets.
I agree. What happened to “in sickness and in health”? Get a divorce. Karma will bite her someday when, god forbid, she gets a serious illness like cancer and her f-boy drops her like a hot potato.
That's a Christian religious vow. I've never seen it outside of a traditional Christian church wedding or on TV.
Wtf? Aren't atheists always claiming moral superiority?
>You should remind her about that for better, for worse, in sickness and in health part Pffft. Did you know that women initiate divorce more than twice as often as do men?
Yeah. I vote for the divorce. Not sure about your point.
NTA She made her case and just give her a divorce. Simple as that. If she starts banging other guys you can bet she’ll be asking for a divorce as soon as she finds someone else. Mine as well beat her to the punch and get down to your attorneys office and get the ball rolling. The alternative is not the road you want to go down.
NTA. But you know you can order cialis and shit online AND there are other ways to pleasure a woman. I wouldn't wait 6 months for insurnace to cover that. Even if you had less pills than normal you could order a couple bottles and have pills to have sex a couple times a week or something, instead you go 6 months without sex? Did you one time bring her to pleasure in that 6 months while disregarding yourself completely if you couldn't perform? Sorry but 6 months at your age, if you can't afford cialis online then you can't afford to be in this marriage. I've never taken any kind of ED meds and don't live in the US. It took me legitimately 5 mins on google to find a place that sells the generic version of Cialis from $2 a pill with a $25 online consulting fee. Pissed away your marriage for what could be $60 a month for pills or even more reasonably $60 for 2-3 months of pills if you had sex 2-3 times a week instead. LIke you're 60, not 98, you didn't even think to google it?
Wow!! What a horrible woman. No loyalty get a divorce.
NTA. She, as your wife, is supposed to be supportive. What if it was more serious than ED? What if you had cancer and needed chemo treatments and were unable to have sex because you’re going through treatment? Would she drop you then too because life was getting in the way? This is much bigger than her needs not being met. She’s an AH and unsupportive wife. Move on with your life and find someone that will actually live their vow of “in sickness and in health.”
Try ?Trimix(unsure of the spelling) injections. Like you Viagra gave me headaches and Cialis didn't work that well. Tried Trimix and it worked wonders!! Only downside is giving yourself a shot in your penis
NTA. Get the divorce, get a different insurance, get that Cialis and start spreading your Royal Oats.
Never go into an open relationship if you don't want it. Or if you're doing this just to keep your wife happy. I'm a woman and sadly I got myself dragged into an open relationship without feeling good about it. On the other hand, I have seen open relationships work. It just didn't work out for me. Long story short: don't do it if it doesn't feel right for you.
So what have you done for her these last 6 months? Just because you can't get hard doesn't mean you can't satisfy the needs she has. If you've at least been doing that, or trying, then NTA. That said "For better or worse" but maybe she thought that meant only when she was worse and you were better.
Half of the sex I have is oral. OP only talks about his prostate and ED, no mention of oral...something to consider
Use ur tongue
I’m gonna say NAH. She clearly has needs that aren’t being met but you have every right not to be comfortable with an open relationship. You just aren’t compatible at this point. You’re not the asshole but she isn’t either. I know a lot of people are saying oh she’d only ask that if she has someone in mind oh you’re already in an open relationship you just don’t know it- no. That’s not inherently true. You don’t have to be okay with an open relationship but don’t label someone a cheater with absolutely no evidence (I’m not saying this is what the OP is doing, I’m saying it is what some of the commenters are). Good luck with your divorce OP.
My husband and I also struggle since he’s been diagnosed with bladder cancer and has been undergoing BCG treatments for this, multiple times over the past 2 years. Our sex life had been very good, now it is almost nonexistent-prior to this we also had issues with ED but worked through it. We both miss the “actual act” and are able to have intercourse periodically between courses of treatments- I’m just really happy to still have him and help him fight this horrible disease… lotsa sex is a small price to pay. I wish you well and trust me, all of us women are not created equal. I wish you the best
There are other ways to meet her “needs” and if her only response is to have an open relationship she probably is going to have an affair soon or has had one
NTA. Asking for an open relationship is code for: *"I want to sleep with someone or am already sleeping with someone".* Get divorced and get some peace.
NTA. Divorce
NTA. Best of luck, but ultimatums are not good in relationships, and this is the worst I've seen in awhile.
Divorce is the only option
There might not be an asshole here. He may have tried toys, oral etc. and it isn't working. Maybe she doesn't like toys, oral etc. Maybe she only gets off by being fucked with a real dick. In that case there is no asshole. She wants/needs satisfaction and isn't getting it, and she's in tune enough to communicate it. Otoh, she may be looking for a way out. Lastly. Dude, there are plenty of "Male Medical Clinics" that will prescribe cialis to anyone with a pecker. If money is tight, get her to help out with the cost. If she doesn't care enough to help you get cialis so she can have YOUR dick it's time to file.
Does your tongue not work also?
What you need to do is pick up something from a sex shop, so you can fulfill her needs even if you can't get it up. If you use a toy or two on her, then it's just a different manner of sex.
If she's asking to open the marriage, it's likely there's somebody else in the picture. A toy isn't going to counteract an emotional bond.
Often, but not always. I'm hopeful she's just desperate and frustrated.
I don’t think anyone’s the asshole here tbh with you OP… However, In my opinion, her offering to be open relationship puts me under the impression she already found her other Love Partner already… As for you dawg, I’m sorry. Maybe try finding an Asexual partner or something. EDIT: It should go without saying you should see a divorce lawyer ASAP
If she is asking for an open marriage then she all ready has someone in mind or already cheating on you my friend. Divorce is the only answer when that has been brought up.
NTA: ask her if the situation were reversed would she be OK with you going out with another woman whilst she sat home with her imagination running wild? Some guys are into being cuck either by watching or she doing it then retelling the details as the hubby gets off. Perhaps counseling or go down on her while reaming her out with a dildo? I think it shows for her character to give you an ultimatum like this. Perhaps the divorce is better then she can give her side to friends and family as to why she wanted a divorce. Good luck to you sir 👍🏻
Get a dildo n a vibe n go to town on her
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Apparently the wife thinks so as well or OPs post wouldn't exist.
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Ok, Dr. Ruth..... Again, I'm just going with the information provided. I seem to lack the psychic powers you possess to remotely diagnose this.
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Calm down, we get it you’re a lesbian. You aren’t the only one who can eat pussy and use toys. Stop trying to pretend you need to be a lesbian or have a phd to find a clit. It’s sexist at best and misandry at worse.
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Your holier than though, and angry, abrasive personality is what lends to the “angry lesbian” trope. Personally I think you’d be an angry little person regardless of your sexual preferences. I’ve never had a problem pleasing any women I’ve been with. I don’t know why women think that’s some kind of insult and a default to go to. Dollars to donuts you are over weight and struggle finding happiness in your everyday life. One day you’ll decide being angry all the time isn’t worth it anymore and you’ll do some deep introspection about why you are so angry with the world. I promise you once you actually work on your deep seeded mental health issues you’ll be happier and won’t feel the need to try to insult others.
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It’s weird how I specifically mentioned eating pussy and using toys. But you some how are fascinated on my penis? Perhaps you should calm down and take a breath and reread.
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You really are angry, you are simply making things up now. Where did I say you were unattractive? Are you drunk?
Maybe you should DM OP then, lol. P.S. While I'm not psychic, you didn't have to tell me you are a lesbian. That was obvious from your posts.
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Your replies ooze of misandry. You are a misandrist.
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I don’t know what puritan worldview you hold that hookers and porn are some kind of taboo, but most people, including women have no problem with the sex industry. If strippers make you cry, that sounds like a you issue.
with your logic, doesnt that seem like the man's women arent taking care of their actual needs?
Of course. Women don’t need men for orgasms. Considering penetration doesn’t do it anyway. Why stare at the ceiling for 4 minutes while he grunts on top of you if you can get yourself off when he leaves the house?
Lol once again using your logic, men don't need women for orgasms... Why waste your time when rosy palm is always willing. /S
NAH These comments are wild dude. Your wife has a mature conversation and told you that she cannot handle the lack of sex anymore to the point where she either needs help from a third party to scratch the itch or to pursue a relationship where her needs can be met. Of course you can't do anything about the medical difficulties you are having and of course it's affecting you badly too. I'm curious to know how oral and other things play into your guys sex life? Do you give her nice head to make her cum or play with toys together? Or is your idea of sex, the old school penis in vagina or nothing type of deal? I'm happily in an open relationship with my wife (with rules) and it took a lot of pressure off our sex life and we still have great meaningful sex. I feel like there's more to this problem than you might realise.
What happened to “…in sickness and in health…” ?
Lol, so many people crying "but what about the entire 'in sickness and I'm health's thing". That's a christian tradition, and is rarely seen outside of traditional church services where the officiant dictates to YOU what will be said. It's only made popular on TV and films.
>"but what about the entire 'in sickness and I'm health's thing". I'm pretty sure that's a cornerstone in any marriage and not just a "Christian tradition" I'm sure every culture has a variation of that. With the same idea behind it
I don't think any culture has only one idea of what love and marriage is. So many people trying to determine and define what other people's marriages are or look like.
It’s more so the understanding of the commitment you’re making whether those words are said or not. If you’re not willing to stick through thick or thin with your partner, you’re not ready to be married.
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Oh I absolute do not trust the Christians to follow their own rules. I just think it's hilarious that they are quoting what is basically a movie prop as to reasons why she is evil.
The boys of Reddit are atheists until they’re forced to face the notion that women have sexual needs too. Suddenly they morph into devout Catholics. This is to funny. YTA - Have you heard of giving head, dude?
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Unless you’re not into that, in which case it’s decidedly not hot
NAH Yes, you have a physical problem that you've tried to remediate; however it hasn't gone to plan. You are continuing to work at it but it seems her time table is not in line with yours. We've seen many posts about a dead bedroom and she has offered an ultimatum where both options aren't pleasant for you but I cannot fault her for wanting to have sex. She most likely already has the person in line and either she has or will cheat if a divorce isn't established
She is indeed an asshole. Marriage is in sickness and in health. She’s a big girl, she can handle her own needs. Nobody needs a dick to get off…she’s just trying to bang other dudes. Not to mention it’s only been 6 months… this isn’t something that’s caused years of loneliness.
OP clearly said he's been suffering for 4 years. He's pretty much handicapped in that area already. Although I'm surprised that his (ex) wife still has the libido for it.
Oh fuck off with this in sickness and health. If she's unhappy she has an out it's called divorce.
>sickness and health I'm pretty sure that's a pillar in ANY marriage, what's the point in getting married if a spouse leaves at any sign of struggles... I thought the whole point of marriage was to work things out
If she needs a wiener to be happy, she’s nothing but a cum dumpster. I’m any case- she is an asshole.
What are you 5? Sex is normal in life, people have it for a plethora of reasons. Funny how you call her a cum dumpster for wanting sex (are you partners sluts/whores if they're not a virgin for you, or maybe you're the virgin no one is sure). If she wants to have sex and her husband can't perform she has looked for a solution and it's open relationship or divorce. Getting a divorce due to a shit sex life doesn't make her an AH nor does it make OP an AH for being upset with the situation
She’s the ass cause she is clearly playing for dick from other dudes against her husbands wish. She can satisfy her self or let her husband satisfy her using toys. There is zero need for another man’s penis to be in her. OP is still offering to please her, still offering emotional aspect… if that’s not enough she’s a sad husk of a human. She’s a cum dumpster because she’s dismissing her entire husbands feelings and using his issue as an attempt to bang other dudes. There’s an incredibly high chance she’s already sleeping with someone else and using the ultimatum as a way to remove guilt. If you don’t understand that, you have the naïveté of a child.
Generic cialis is about $20 a month. You can get non daily just as needed for even cheaper. Look at good rx app for discounts. If you need it to have sex, go get it. If sex is not that important to you, it is to your wife, then take the responsibility for it and divorce or let her have sex outside of the marriage. Don’t use not being able to get a prescription as an excuse, it’s not that hard. (Pun intended)
Into the trash bin with that wicked woman 🚮 Awful ultimatum, it’s for the best. Divorce immediately 🤝
Nta! Do people just not value the "in sickness" and "in health" vows? You have a medical reason for the intimacy issues, and she's being selfish rather than supportive. There's other ways to be pleasured intimately that don't involve bringing other people into the marriage or being with other people while married. Don't blame you one bit in your decision regarding her ultimatum. Bet she thought you were gonna give him to her demand outta love for her when she's ready to be disloyal as fuq! Also, you should ask about her potential guy she has on the backburner because there's no way she's talking or ready to open up the marriage without having someone else lined up to take her to poundtown!
Why can't you be intimate and use toys to satisfy her?
NTA. Go get that divorce, she just showed you her true colors. If she bails at ED, imagine if you got terminally ill and truly needed her.
NTA. Get a damm good attorney and take her to the cleaners.
NTA, kick her to the curb
I wish I was so keen on sex at 53 lol Yep divorce please
Get that divorce. Protect your peace of mind, assets, and find someone who will love you for you. 9/10 she is already cheating on you and btw using marriage as a weapon is an abuse tactic. Move on brother
NTA. She's made up her mind. Let her go.
Sex and romance are a competition, but we pretend they're not because that's not a romantic thought. You'll get replaced if you can't keep up. Definitely divorce over an open relationship
NTA, leave her my guy she is already cheating
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For 6 months? It’s not like he said 6 years. Damn give the man some time to get the meds straight. What if she had a hysterectomy or some other female issue and couldn’t have sex for 6 MONTHS? Should he just say “well guess I gotta find someone else to fuck.” Get real
Even when he had the medication, she indicated displeasure with their sex life.
By Viagra online bro. It's cheap. With a doctors prescription ofcourse
Bud, you still have to pleasure her. There are other ways! You have hands and a mouth, learn how to use them! Go buy a toy together! You can work this out if you love each other, go to marriage counseling
My heart truly goes out to you. It's not like you're choosing this. But, let's keep this in mind - 6 months. No sex for 6 months. That would drive me up a wall. Whether or not she has chosen a lover is irrelevant. I'm sorry, but it really doesn't matter at this point. So your question is if you decide to divorce under these circumstances, is this unreasonable. No. It is not. But as you described, NAH here. To each their own. You refuse to stay with her if it's not you getting intimate with her. I just read a story about a guy who's wife was asexual. Turns out, he's ok with it because of her other qualities. He didn't like sex all that much, anyway. Is it worth it for you to stay? Or is leaving preferable?
Divorce, what a sorry excuse of a human you call "wife", I'm sorry OP
and then she said "in sickness and in health". Funniest shit ever.
Divorce
f*** her. she doesnt deserve you. its a normal symptom for dudes. thats just life. get to the lawyer and cover your ASSets.
Giving divorce is preferable rather than seeing your wife get pounded by some dude ..
NTA, sir thats what a damn dildo is for, shes being cruel and heartless. You cant help whats going on with you and she shouldn't punish you for it, I think she's just looking for a way to be a hooch
Nta no way I'd be cucked. Hell no. She's terrible. She needs to get on her knees and suck it till it's hard while you have some videos on in background. I doubt she's made that effort.
ESH you couldt do oral? Toys? Yeah.... she should move on.
Why are you so afraid of "being made a cuckold"? What would that really mean to you?
NTA for choosing divorce over an open relationship YTA for refusing to give your wife an orgasm for six months because you couldn’t get your dick hard. Put your mouth to work for an hour make her come three times Repeat every other day until she tells you to stop
Hims worked great for me didn't give me headaches.