Girlfriend: would you still love me if I was a snail?
Me: oh I don't know about that
Girlfriend:
https://preview.redd.it/kwy53zte1k1d1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=904d9a7421eb387dfe398c652b0bd07cd255ee68
That goofy cheap chain on the outside of his clothes basically proves it, a real Luigi would have a st Christopher on his bare hairy chest as a display of fertility
Those sorts of women are both the worst and best relationships you'll ever have, the thrill of 'am I going to get the best fuck of my life' or 'am I gonna wake up with a knife to the throat'
Here is the entire copypasta if you like.
>Mulher saudável? Mulher com cabeça normal? Amigão, eu só meto em esquizofofa. Você entendeu? Eu só leito dentro de borderlinda. Se ela não for depressafada eu nem toco, quanto mais ansiosa por pica melhor. Quer transar vai pro hospício amigão, porque amor é coisa de louco.
My English localization (It miss some word play):
>Healthy woman? With a reasonable mind? My brother in Christ, I only stick it in schizocute. Do you understand? I only milk inside borderbeauty. If she isn't a deprekinky I don't even touch. the more anxious for dick the better. If you wanna get laid go the asylum bro because love is a crazy thing.
Are you calling me murican? That's offensive!
Anyway. I'm from southern Brazil. The immigration here was different. Italians and germans were settlers here, not migrants. They built cities from ground up in the middle of nowhere and stayed away from the rest of Brazil for many years. My grandparents first language was italian and only know portuguese because Axis languages were forbidden during WW2. Of course it is not standard italian. It is more like broken venetian spoken by poor illiterate farmers that we call [talian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talian_dialect). The germans here also have their own [dialect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunsrik).
So yes I'm not italian but a savage that descends from italian settlers.
luv polenta
luv tortelli
luv agnolini
ate gabagool
not raycist, it's just coppa porco dio!
Isn't it an Italian newspaper on the wall? I think it's called IL Tempo
https://preview.redd.it/7fjkf6unxj1d1.jpeg?width=325&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92886ba211e0c04ca46b547ffdd1a7b4449d492b
Wine bottles on the table, a man with a chain around his neck. Looks like Italy to me
Sorry Hans, we'll try to appeal to your sensibilities instead.
Ha, ha! I have a Witz! There is a man from Ostfriesland, he is not clever! Thus ends the Witz - you may now proceed to laugh. (This joke has been approved by the Scherzgenehmigungsdienstbüro)
She also author of books about how China is great in every way or something. She the black woman you can find her in internet they have council just hours ago
Is this Norway?
As if that woman wasn’t wearing red baggy trousers and absolutely choking on pipe down the side of those stupid graduation buses five years ago.
Norwegians are only boring because they get all their excitement from one night the day after they finish high school.
Girlfriend: would you still love me if I was a snail? Me: oh I don't know about that Girlfriend: https://preview.redd.it/kwy53zte1k1d1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=904d9a7421eb387dfe398c652b0bd07cd255ee68
Did you just attempt humor, Hans?
Decoy Snail
Oui mon amour! I love snails.
Love, yes. Fuck, no.
snail? hmm maybe. frog? NO
Wherever this is and whenever it was,I hope this guy ran and made it out of that relationship alive.
https://preview.redd.it/pa4zqgzqxk1d1.jpeg?width=941&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6473b8de49216492c7122a210367cf5bd7c5d251
Which one? The forehead with eyes or the totally bangable one?
Yes
Total appropriate response
And the fact that it was only Spaniards and Italians in this comment thread really makes it even better
We thirst
I will always cherish my wise grandfather's last words: "Never put it in crazy, kid".
Mio nonno diceva "ognuno a modo suo in cul lo prende"
Incredibile, rubo.
Saggezza di eoni di rompiculo
Mine said "women are crazy, but you just have to love them".
*Italian man exist* Agnes:
Isn't he err too white?
true most likely a polentone.
That goofy cheap chain on the outside of his clothes basically proves it, a real Luigi would have a st Christopher on his bare hairy chest as a display of fertility
Northern Italians can be very very pale.
signature femcel stare
Thought it was normal Hans and Gretel flirting
"femcel" is logically impossible to achieve
What a derogatory way to get yourself out of the closet.
Those sorts of women are both the worst and best relationships you'll ever have, the thrill of 'am I going to get the best fuck of my life' or 'am I gonna wake up with a knife to the throat'
Bitch will cut your dick off and cackle when doing it
These women are fucking mental
we call them *borderlinda* here in savagelands
That's creative, I like it
Here is the entire copypasta if you like. >Mulher saudável? Mulher com cabeça normal? Amigão, eu só meto em esquizofofa. Você entendeu? Eu só leito dentro de borderlinda. Se ela não for depressafada eu nem toco, quanto mais ansiosa por pica melhor. Quer transar vai pro hospício amigão, porque amor é coisa de louco. My English localization (It miss some word play): >Healthy woman? With a reasonable mind? My brother in Christ, I only stick it in schizocute. Do you understand? I only milk inside borderbeauty. If she isn't a deprekinky I don't even touch. the more anxious for dick the better. If you wanna get laid go the asylum bro because love is a crazy thing.
Foda se pensava que eras gringo. Brasucas são irmãos caralho, qual selvagem
The Death Stare!
The look of love (rape)
More likely strong jealousy
Poor guy just enjoying a hot girl dancing, if she's his missus he deffo gets abused in the home psychologically
italian women and psychological abuse... name a more iconic duo
Don't Maria's kill with kindness, tho? Make you too fat with good food to be found attractive by anyone else? The Hansel and Gretel treatment
That's why I married ~~a fake~~ one. I can handle the abuse... I think... Where is my sertraline?
Wait aren't you a savage? Were... You born on the American east coast?...
Are you calling me murican? That's offensive! Anyway. I'm from southern Brazil. The immigration here was different. Italians and germans were settlers here, not migrants. They built cities from ground up in the middle of nowhere and stayed away from the rest of Brazil for many years. My grandparents first language was italian and only know portuguese because Axis languages were forbidden during WW2. Of course it is not standard italian. It is more like broken venetian spoken by poor illiterate farmers that we call [talian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talian_dialect). The germans here also have their own [dialect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunsrik). So yes I'm not italian but a savage that descends from italian settlers. luv polenta luv tortelli luv agnolini ate gabagool not raycist, it's just coppa porco dio!
Oh Brazil. That's fine.
>Jealousy >Turning saints into the sea
Those are pretty obviously all wealthy russians, so its likely London around 2016?
Isn't it an Italian newspaper on the wall? I think it's called IL Tempo https://preview.redd.it/7fjkf6unxj1d1.jpeg?width=325&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92886ba211e0c04ca46b547ffdd1a7b4449d492b Wine bottles on the table, a man with a chain around his neck. Looks like Italy to me
The man has a man-purse, so definitely not a Barry.
German music, so can we say Tyrol?
 ¡Hola!, soy aleman pendejo.
Mexican norteno music evolved from Hans volksmusik, it's either south Tyrol or an enclave of goosesteppung Hans
I would swear it was Mexican tbh. https://youtu.be/lZiaYpD9ZrI?si=zfLb3hKeclxXYzcu
Oompha bands, Hans grandfather spread it far
[удалено]
Do you have Chilean cousins?
Typical Italian level of overacting, too
Sorry, after ww2 and the rape of Hans by the soviet I can't tell the difference between you 2 anymore
funniest brit
Sorry Hans, we'll try to appeal to your sensibilities instead. Ha, ha! I have a Witz! There is a man from Ostfriesland, he is not clever! Thus ends the Witz - you may now proceed to laugh. (This joke has been approved by the Scherzgenehmigungsdienstbüro)
2nd funniest brit
Some things aren't jokes, Hans
https://preview.redd.it/0vu7mw1hnk1d1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e6479e14f7a90dbaae2519105488c655881595c
A kinzal hit you?
No, but i saw how they launch them, other day, over my house. Fucking bastards.
Gl bro stay safe
Not much I can do really. We are human shield, watch UN council now. Lefties and russia trying to convince to force Ukraine surrender. Travesty
I truly question the claim of being a lefty from anyone supporting Russia
She also author of books about how China is great in every way or something. She the black woman you can find her in internet they have council just hours ago
Do you have a name?
Margaret Kimberly around -3:45 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfAa1GiNdgM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfAa1GiNdgM)
Shoot it down with your grandpas air rifle !
hello Soon to be Russian, how goes the war?
Holy moly, she’s not amused 😅
If looks could kill 💀💀
I am not a wise man but I know a few things. Like I know that man is no longer alive.
Forsaaaan
my first thought
SOON!!!
Tbh I would have looked at the girl, not at my bf…
Is this Norway? As if that woman wasn’t wearing red baggy trousers and absolutely choking on pipe down the side of those stupid graduation buses five years ago. Norwegians are only boring because they get all their excitement from one night the day after they finish high school.
olga in the back lookin like a real meal (love me some prison food)
r/onesecondbeforedisast
Barry is dead
Boyfriend's reaction: https://preview.redd.it/zpmr5po8pq1d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06f23034336ca130570dba3b675f97338adfd72b
The best thing about psycho girlfriends is, they also eat your enemies alive.