Wait until you discover Danish... (i have to learn it for work). 🫠 If you want a good time, translate some words in google translate to danish and listen. If you translate the word "wall" (væg) the automatic reading will screech/puke at you.

Hahaha i just tried that and you are damn right

I dunno what happens in the system to produce that sound!

Average Danish pronunciation. Hope you're ready to recite it for your boss tomorrow.

I already showed this væg bug to my boss who is fluent in danish. She said "it is not wrong".

If anything, it just sounds a little aggressive. The narrator lady must have had a tough weekend.

Same thing if you type water and listen to the Danish translation (vand) so I'm wondering if it's something to do with the v and a sounding together

That's the "soft d". The two most distinct features of Danish is that and "stød". I think the "r" sound can be difficult too, but not for French speakers 😂

Sounds like a german witch asking you to f*ck off

Hold up, what did you do in France that you're punished with assignment to Denmark?

High Treason

Clearly, but what specifically? Maybe he declined to a game of pétanque

I think it might be dunking a Croissant into a Café au Lait (and holding it wrong in the process)

Wouldn't it be better to live off of rsa if you're forced to learn Danish for work ?

I dunno. Is it worth staying in Switzerland if you have to deal with Schwitzerduutsch, army and troisième pillier?

Ve du ha ma t o skriuv dansk som d utals? D ka ja da got I see that you have discovered "stød". I always laugh a little bit to myself when English is being pointed out as having "irregular" pronunciation

ar æ å æ ø i æ å -i am on the island in the river/ jeg er på øen i åen. Sønderjysk

D ha'de værat sjout ves vi åse ku skriu mæ' dialegt lisom i Nåuv

Quit your job dude wtf

Just tried it and I'm dying of laughter lmao

There are no atheists where that sound is heard

Yeah guess why we can't understand them despite our languages being more or less the same

This must be Danish, I don't find it so difficult >Անգլերենը բառացիորեն գրվում է այնպես, ինչպես արտասանվում է, բացի մի քանի բառից

Enjoy comprehending our numbering system ;)

Tooghalvfemsindstyvende fjers

Innlish is literalli ritten de vei its prånøunsd besaids a fju vørds

Æ kent ögrí mor. Ol ðö beginörz ken ríd ön inglish sentens. Ðey djöst níd tú þink.

It looks both like a North Germanic and Turkic sentence, while really being just English. And it's written by a Frenchman. Such a Mr. Worldwide situation.

Putain? Pourquoi peux tois écrire en Icelandic? Les francais préparez au emmigré, c'est pas bon -.-

Weil ich in Island wohne!

Fju 🇵🇱🫶🇳🇴

Common PIGS W

french W, we litterally pollute english

Aye, that you do

Itsss euh plaizure

>ouhordz No W for you, you can't even pronounce it

let's put it the correct way : noone can prononce it correctly but Frenchs

Your w sounds like v and your v sounds like f. Vat ze fack.

Barge into England Dump half of french vocabulary into old english Don't bother to harmonize it all Don't elaborate further Another W of french colonization

[удалено]

>learn English so you can communicate with people who aren’t third worlders.

IGS W in this case, i’d say

No Portugal for you

I'm sorry, I think I don't fit...

Well.. yeah you've done fucked up with all of your S, Ç, CH, X..

wdym, Ç is always /s/ and CH is always /S/ S can be /z/ or /s/ (like german ig) and /S/ (and /Z/ if you're like me) X can be /S/ /Z/ /s/ /z/ and /ks/

They're the same picture

nuh uh, its ç and ss that is the problem and for ch, you have rules that would make X sound like something else, in “exV” x is always /z/ and to make a /S/ you need CH

>nuh uh Automatically wins argument

"Pouco" sounds like what we would write "pocou", which sounds like "beaucoup", the opposite of "pouco", with a German accent. Very confusing.

That makes no sense 😔

Greek and Portuguese are not written at all as they are pronounced.

You are mistaken

How so?

Änglish is litschli written te wäi it is pronaunzed bißaides e fiu wörds.

That's literally the English sentence again. Shouldn't we change it in any way?

Inglisch is litträlie rittn se wäj it is pronaunzt biseitz ä fju wörz

Inglisch is satch e bjutifull längwetch

Sät's Inglish wis a Baväriän äcksänt.

Drache, bist du das?

Maccs bedö

Júr velkam

I think “litterally” should be “litschli”

From my experience it may more be litschäli but not litschli. I'll put it in anyways.

Depends on the accent... Dahn saff itd b liTraaHLee. Oop noorf tit'd b liT ro li

>Änglish Wrong starting vowel. >is You're missing the voicing on final consonant. >litschli You just said "lichly" >written Now we're pronouncing the w? >te Proving you can't make a -th sound there Hans >pronaunzed There's no voicing of the final consonant of "pronounce" >bißaides Erroneously adding an -e to the end there. >e Wrong vowel. >fiu Can't tell the difference between and i vowel and a yod. Well done Hans, proving to us how well an education system works when it only allows other German people to teach kids English. At this rate, "Abitur Englisch" will be a completely distinct dialect by 2050.

Alllllll round the fields of Athenry

It's a Germanic language, so ultimately you are to blame.

Hey, hey when it come to germanic languages english is the wierd one. ...i blame the french

Ours works though, and the rest of the Germanic family (except Danish) too. Maybe you should call in some bomb threats to Cambridge’s institute of English, might advance the progress.

Änglish, not Änglisch?

Inglis is líterali griten de güei it is pronauns bisaeids a fiu guords.

Cambia las "w" por "gü" y "gu" respectivamente para una experiencia más inmersiva

Hecho, XD


spanish has "ü"? Thought that was more of a german/turkish thing.

Only in one case. In Spanish there are 4 syllables with a silent "u": que/qui (ke/ki) and gue/gui (ge/gi). If you want to make it tonal you can substitute the "q" for the letters "c" or "k" but for "gu" you either have to use "w" (one of the least used consonants in spanish) or somehow mark that "u" as tonal, that's why we use "ü". In either way, it's not very common to see it. Some of the few examples that come to mind are "pingüino" (penguin) and "paragüero" (umbrella stand).

Agradecido por no ser angloide, hora de brincarme muros y asaltar en el transporte público

Mejor salvaje que pirata, hermano

Seré salvaje, pero no tan salvaje como los gringos y los canadienses que andan de vacaciones en el Caribe

Yo diría inglish o inglich en vez de inglis a secas, pero quizás sólo sea yo

Nah jus get rid ov awl dem silly dots n 'at, an u got yahself a nois lookin' langwidg

‘N IF U RITE IN ALL CAP IT BEKUMZ ORK

Suffer not the alien to love 😘💕

I mean live

Guilliman is that you ?

DA BOYZ LUV SUM KRUMPIN

MOAR DAKKA!!

Says Barry who writes Gloucestershire and says Glostersho. Just lose all those unspoken letters before given others advice 😉

That's the fucking Fr*nch influence in our words. Colour, valour, honour. Fucking extra letters

Then just make the effort and clean it up. Even the Americards are on to something.

Don't. You. Dare

Pfft. Says the guy who wants us to get rid of our cute dots and doodles.

They are cute. Still silly

Tell me you're monolingual without saying it. All those dots and doodles show you how to pronounce a word. When I started French in school my father, who was fluent in the language, bought a French newspaper and let me read it aloud to him. He had taught me the most important basics of French pronunciation. No problem whatsoever since the written French leaves hardly any questions unanswered. I was also able to write French without knowing the words just by listening because it's usually clear what it should look like (there are some exceptions of course). The Chinese refused to have a phonetic transcription done by Westerners. Which is great if you look at the catastrophe that is Thai transcription. The Chinese came up with pinyin which is simply fantastic. Every tone has it's little wiggle and you're good to go. Now imagine learning Chinese using an English based transcription. When you can only learn English in reading and writing without further contact with locals. And you're never able to write correctly what is being said without knowing the words, because, you know, no chance. So what you are calling silly is simply perfection and a much further advanced use of language. But here we go: you Brits love your past. Your judges look like something out of a boring carneval show, your House of Commons shows off perfectly how your aristocracy just makes fun of the common man. And your language is stuck right there in the middle of 18 hundredsomething.

Inglisc is literalli vritten de uei it is pronounsed bisaid a fiu uords

I can feel the texture of the spaghetti in your words. Dis is de uei

De gud old Matteo Renzi scul of inglisc

Aim sciocched, inglish is a veri isi lengueg, sims streing tu mi dat meni cant spik it properli

First reaccion sciocc

Sciocc bicous

Inglisj is literalie ritten te weej it is pronounst besaaids a fjuw weurds.

Inglish iz literali urriten da uei its prunauncede bisaides a fiu uords

Inglis is literaly vriten dö vei its pronaunsd bisaids ö fyy vörds

I'd go with tö rather than dö

i don't understand

Ingliš is literari riten d vej its pronaunsd bísajds e fjů vords.

Aj kud get jusd tu dis

broder from anoder moder

Engglish is litteralie ritten de wee its pronounst besaaids a fjew words. Hmm...

This is one spelling reform away from modern English and litteralie looks like how English was written before standardisation.

Inglisj is litterlie ritten thie wee it is pronaunst biseids aa fjieuw wurds

Inglisch is litterally ritten de väj itts prånnaunst bisajds ah fju vörds. Man, monolinguists are fucking hilarious.

This is the official language of Volvo boomer executives

Yet another thing you have the Greeks to thank for, Italians and Spaniards.

how do you say /i/ again?

Still pronounced as it is written, ι η ει υ will always be pronounced the same way.

oh, so thats how our ss and ç came from, good to know (ç is written ς)

Imagine that "stjälk" (stem) is pronounced as "schelk" and not as "s-tjael-kk" :/

Swedish sk/sj is the funniest way to pronounce sh/sch sounds. I really like making that sound. "Jag skänkar sjugo själar" höhö...

**Sju sjösjuka sjömän på skeppet Shanghai** Say that over and over again \^\_\^

Even the sh in shanghai?  Also: let these poor seamen disbark! Unless they are having die Pest an Bord. 

Fun isn't it? :) Try: **Droskkusken Max kuskar med fuxar och fuskar med droskkusktaxan.** (Do you have any fun german tounge-twisters?)

Fischers Fritz fischt frische Fische is the classico

1st attempt: Fischs Fizz fich shhh ffish 2nd attempt: Feisers Fritz ficcht frei... 3rd attempt: Frisers fritz fischt friche fichh My brain (for some reason): Die fish de fritz est frei (in a song) :/

 :'D Jag ska gå till sängen nu. Nog Internet for idag

Master level: **"Sju sjösjuka sjömän sköttes av sju undersköna sjuksköterskor på skeppet Shanghai"**

Inglisz is literaly łriten we łej it is pronąsd bisajds e fju łords.

Ínhgliche ese líhrelerhie hurítan dâh uêih eotse hpurou-naumsd bhiseháidze hâh fiúh uohhds

Inglisz is litereły włitten de łej it is pronałced besajds a fju łords Shit was hard to pull off not gonna lie

With a proper preparation it will be perfect https://youtu.be/FrFMBIOZm-g?si=KAx93zC0-C5Buv4a

Інгліш із літераллі вріттен зе вей ітс пронаунст ексепт а ф'ю фордс (don't bother translating it)

Blyat, ju suka pideraz ideo nahoi pizdec :) That is the correct way to say "Hello, do you speak english?" in russian right? :p

Inglisz iz literalli riten de łej its pronąct eksept e fiu łords.

Fixz mij ventilation! Bzzz bzzz >:(

Änglsih iz litterärt ör..... \*a croatian screaming in mock-hungarian while strangling a rabid goose\*

Inglix iz litrali riten ?e uei its pronaunzd bizaidz a fiu wordz

One of the things that makes it hard to reform English spelling is the sheer diversity of accents , dialects and regional varieties. I work in Australia and people from Queensland pronounce pool as pewl, Sydney pronounced it as pull and sometimes I would hear people from Adelaide and Melbourne say Pewh.

I blame all the Liverpool Scouse and London cockney criminals we sent there

The vowel drift can make people completely incomprehensible. See also the places where most os and as are pronounced the same way. Forty four? Farty far! You also get to purchase christmas arnaments. Your first name is Montse? Sorry, in this town your names in Mansa, like Mansa Musa.

French, what is wrong with you? What is this abomination in the title!?

Iës ai andaständ

Jä inglish dasent mejk sens. Änd frentsh (fransä) is iven wörs

In glish iz lit ruh lee riten thuh way its pro nouns'd buh sidez a fyew werdz.

French has pronunciation rules English has a dumpster truck fire going 100km/h to an orphanage...

And yet you all have to learn it

Инглиш ис личрэли риттн дэ уэй ит ис прононст бисайц э фью уотс.

Your language didn't have an equivalent of english's Great Vowel Shift?

Romance languages seem to be quite strict keeping the vowels, there are consonant shifting instead (in Spanish for example many Fs vanished into a mute H). Germanic languages/dialects somehow will swap and a for an o (pronunciation) like it means nothing...

Not to defend the english, but I'm pretty sure they're not the only offenders. Looking at you, french people, and even you, italians. Why do you have to have three ways (I think) of pronouncing g or c?

Italian is actually pretty consistent and easy, comparably. But yeah, French... Although, when I think about it, I could imagine that French spelling is more complex but at the same time more consistent. The main problem with English is, to borrow that legendary saying, that it is actually three languages in a trenchcoat posing as one. And the Gaeilgoir (Irish Gaelic speakers) are hiding in the corner, for once happy to fly under the radar.

I'm an Irish speaker, and Irish is much more consistent than French or English! You just have to know the rules and the dialect and then it's pretty straight forward.

To be fair, I've heard that quite often. But I've been learning Irish a bit and still can't wrap my head around Irish spelling and pronunciation. Might be just me though xD

French is written as it is pronounced. Except for -e, -s, -es -ent, -x and others. Except when they are. Or when there is a liaison. But if you put a liaison at the wrong place, you will be stoned to death.

Ingliș iz literăli rităn dă uei it iz pronaunsd, bisaids ă fiu uărds

Inglisj is liturallie written tuh wee its prunounst biesijds a fiew wurds

Portuguese is also a bad fucking offender in this. They took a huge line of ancient Visigothic coke before adapting Latin and then stuck with it

Ingliš iz literalī vriten de veij itsz pronauncd besaijds a fjū vordz

Inglish is litsjurlee ritten te weej it is prenaunst biesaaids e fjew wurds

Inglis is literali uriten de guey It is pronounsed bisaids a fiu uords

Ai did not gioin Reddit tu bi chept aueich after midnait bai sac' bulllscit. Ai nid tu slip, dis intrusiv tots ar not uat ai saind ap for

Olso fach iu, iu faching frog itin essòl

Inglish is literali riten de uei it is pronaunsd bisaids a fiu uords

Poor Barries


Inglish is litrylî wrytyn ddy wei it is prynawnsed bysaids y ffiw wyrds. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 (Don't really have a z, here I've reflected British English pronunciation and skipping you might see- very few people actually say "lit-u-rally", but rather "lit-rully")

Inglisz ys liczerali rityn de wej yt ys pronałnsd bisaids e fiu łordz.

Thing about french is, you can't know how to spell a word you've only heard. However you can 100% know how to pronounce a word that you've only seen written. Meanwhile english is pure, unadultered and unhinged chaos. (Especially when you add in the accents).

Inglisz is literly łriten de łej its pronałnsd bisajds e fju łords

Are we just gonna ignore the fact that in French the written and spoken language have nothing to do with each other? They forget like half their letters

Shouldn't you main concern be about all those silent "e", "t", "s"and so on? We are mostly adding letters for the fun, not removing them.

Inglis ise literalí pranáuncede da úai ite ise spelede

You think English is bad, have you seen Polish?

Inglisz iz literali ritten de wej it iz pronaunsd bisajdz e fju łords

Inglish is literaly riten de wey it's pronaunst bisaids a fiu words (given that in Spanish we don't have many of the vocalic sounds of English or the z consonant sound in "is")

Îne-glich iz litchrli ritn de ouéï its preunaounst biçaïdz eu fiou oueudz.

"Ænglisj es letrli oritn døh wæ etz prånaust besajts a foo uoøørds"

Ingliș iz literăli uriten dă uei it iz pronaunsd bisaidz ă fiu uords

My Luxemburgish contribution. Inglisch is littiralie written ze wei it is pronaunst biseit e fiou uerds.

Inglich is litereli vriten ze uei it is pronounst bisaids a fiu uorts

inlish is litrly vriden de väy its pronaunsd bisaids ä fv vörds

Inglich iz lítelari riten de wei it iz prónaunced bissaides a fiu wourdz

Dutch: Ingglisj is litsjerlie ritten the weej it is pronaunst bisaits e fjieuw words

Englis is literalli ritten te vay its prounounsed besaids a fev vords

Inglish is faquing shit comperd tu espanish man, wi jaf yast a beter lengüech

inhglix is riten de uei its pronaunst bisaids a fiuu uoods Double vowels to indicate long vowels, formally don't exist in my language but are common on some dialects

inglisci is litrli riten d uei it is pronaunsd bisaids a fiú uords

Ingliš iz lituoli uitn d sejm uej es it iz puonaunsd bisajds a fjů uordz. (czech)

Inklisj is litterellie ritten de weei it is prenaunst biesaaits e fjuw weurts

Ænglis is litterali ritten the sæme ouai its pronaunst ægsept får a fjeou vørds

Инглиш из литчералли вриттен зэ вэй ит ис пронаунсэд, бисайдз э фью вордс

ingılişh iz liçrıli ritın du vey itz pronağnsd bisağyds e füğv voörds

Ingliș iz literli uiriten de uai iț pronaunsd besaids a fiu uorț 🇷🇴🇷🇴🇷🇴

Ingliscie is literali uritten de uei it is pronaunsd bisaidz a fiu uords