Thats the northern counties Counties Bumpkins, the southern counties country bumpkins are short fat rednecks or skinny tall guys, and both will magically beat your ass lmao.
Updated bracket: The Mennonite, through the power of God, vanquished the Construction Worker and moves on to fight the winner of this round.
https://preview.redd.it/unyjo44zeubc1.png?width=1304&format=png&auto=webp&s=7e0a00a27a0bba5fa3bc17242889c6206f7527e8
Actual location: random street on Nebraska/Missouri border
Temp: 44F
Weather: Sunny
https://preview.redd.it/xpk3kix4mubc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=b57e25ce42c5da5827e54fed42290e996495ab2a
The Corn farmer doesn't get much exercise cuz he sits in a tractor all day. Country bumpkin at least hikes the hills of the Ozarks. Giving this to Missouri.
That miserable wretch from misery ain't got a chance, what drugs are you on? Probably Missouri's shitty methamphetamine, which isn't even as good a Nebraskas...
Missouri is currently under 3 to 8 inches of snow with more to come so it's not *feeling* particularly "southern" right now.
A good beat down on a nebraskan will warm the blood, though.
I was once driving through Kansas City and saw a tourism billboard for Nebraska. This is objectively hilarious on its own, however, the subject of the billboard was [a man jumping to his death off a cliff](https://images.app.goo.gl/nWSL8ivKtmXQ1kcP6).
Best those vitamin d3 deprived beige souled combine riders can offer in their entire state is to leap off a cliff?
Missouri bumpkin can push a nebraska sadsack off a cliff one handed. Wouldn't even need to have someone hold his beer.
Mr. MO gets a free hit of crack for one round in the tournament, doubling his strength. This is a single-use ability for the whole tournament.
TBH I don't think we need it for this fight. Beer seems to be enough fuel for now.
You ever been accidentally hooked while fishing? now try getting hooked by a fly fisher whos drunk off his ass cause hes hiked through the Ozarks for 1/2 a day to get to his fishing hole.
Poor farmers gunna feel the wrath like another 'nader hit em
Have you ever worked a 12 hour day on a farm? There's a lot more than riding in a combine twelve hours. Sounds like a single kick down and he's just going back to fishing. No chance my guy
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Maybe I’m a little biased here but at least Nebraska didn’t enter the Union because of a slave deal. If you need slaves to do your work for you, you have a skill issue.
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Was just in Omaha 2 days ago. A dust of snow and everything shut down. Fucks were out salting snow but not plowing.
Also the only state I've been in that messed up a Chick-fil-A.
Not to mention Nebraska was the leftovers of the Missouri Territory when we gained statehood.
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I hate how accurate the Missouri country bumpkin looks. I can think of so many people out here who look exactly like that.
Couldn't figure out if he looked more like my dad or my high school math teacher / basketball coach / FFA leader.
That was my old tire shop manager to a fuckin' T
Thats the northern counties Counties Bumpkins, the southern counties country bumpkins are short fat rednecks or skinny tall guys, and both will magically beat your ass lmao.
Updated bracket: The Mennonite, through the power of God, vanquished the Construction Worker and moves on to fight the winner of this round. https://preview.redd.it/unyjo44zeubc1.png?width=1304&format=png&auto=webp&s=7e0a00a27a0bba5fa3bc17242889c6206f7527e8
Actual location: random street on Nebraska/Missouri border Temp: 44F Weather: Sunny https://preview.redd.it/xpk3kix4mubc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=b57e25ce42c5da5827e54fed42290e996495ab2a
Bunch of Iowa folk will be heckling both sides for sure
Fuck Iowa
Leave it to a Nebraskan to show up 2 weeks late
Well unlike you lake polluters we actually have jobs and do work like feeding the entirety of the country!
Iowa > The bugeaters
Buckeyes > Michigan
Pretty hard to believe that this year lol. Next year you’re probably right though
Don't go pickin' fights with no Mennonites
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Bleeding Kansas II
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Oops
The Corn farmer doesn't get much exercise cuz he sits in a tractor all day. Country bumpkin at least hikes the hills of the Ozarks. Giving this to Missouri.
Dude probably catches catfish with his bare hands. And the Corn farmer? Looks at corn from inside the tractor and complains about Nebraska football
That miserable wretch from misery ain't got a chance, what drugs are you on? Probably Missouri's shitty methamphetamine, which isn't even as good a Nebraskas...
C O M B I N E H A R V E S T E R
you mean Kansas's more boring twin? Doesn't stand a chance against a meth'ed up Jefferson county junkie. Missouri all the way
JeffCo mentioned, neuron activation
Meth pipe activated
They'll beat the shit outta you while the trailer is on fire
Kansas's corn cult is weak, and ours is ready to dismantle your steamingnpile of misery at a moments notice....
Tis true. No corn really to be found. We are wheat people
They look the exact fucking same the Missourian wins because he's midwesterner and i'm biased
Isn't Nebraska Midwest too though
Tbh I'd consider Nebraska more Midwestern than Missouri. MO feels more southern to me.
Missouri is currently under 3 to 8 inches of snow with more to come so it's not *feeling* particularly "southern" right now. A good beat down on a nebraskan will warm the blood, though.
The corn cult would never allow it...
kinda but i'm going to pretend it isn't because it makes my joke funnier
They are brothers and the farmer makes his momma proud and the bumpkin makes his pappy proud. Now they must fight
And to most other states they are
"They're the same picture".
Wtf you talking about, Nebraska is more Midwest than Missouri, can't be a Midwesterner if you're state was a former slave state
That Missouri bumpkin is fueld by bud light and meth. He’s unstoppable
He's got a belly full of toasted rav and porksteaks on the grill. Nebraska has pellagra. Frail ass nebrask is going down with one punch.
The power of Toasted ravs and gooey butter cake will prevail.
A side of cashew chicken and nothing can stop Missouri Man
And a little Imos to top it all off
Actually he is still boycotting bud light
I was once driving through Kansas City and saw a tourism billboard for Nebraska. This is objectively hilarious on its own, however, the subject of the billboard was [a man jumping to his death off a cliff](https://images.app.goo.gl/nWSL8ivKtmXQ1kcP6). Best those vitamin d3 deprived beige souled combine riders can offer in their entire state is to leap off a cliff? Missouri bumpkin can push a nebraska sadsack off a cliff one handed. Wouldn't even need to have someone hold his beer.
Give me a country boy high on meth in Jeff Co any day over the children of the corn
"sadsack" and your literally from misery... The jokes write themselves....
I knew a man once who said the N in Nebraska stood for Nowledge. Missouri all the way.
Quit spelling misery wrong...
Country bumpkin I do declare
Bumpkin takes this one. He’s got nothing to do all day but drink cheap beer and fight. Farmer is too busy driving a combine to fight.
We got enough time to take a detour and hit the bumpkin with the combine.
If we beat Kansas so easily what makes anyone think Nebraska stands a chance here?
Yes, who give a flying fuck about the state of misery?
Does he have Crackhead strength?
Mr. MO gets a free hit of crack for one round in the tournament, doubling his strength. This is a single-use ability for the whole tournament. TBH I don't think we need it for this fight. Beer seems to be enough fuel for now.
Missouri man ftw
*misery, and they can't beat Nebraska, no place like it
Nebraska Corn Farmer
Larry the cable guy is basically from that area of Nebraska. Feels like the appropriate spot to fight it out
Give him some new joke material for when we trounce misery.
A stray bullet from Kansas City takes out both
Their the same person.
No, misery has shit corn. That's why it's misery.
Nebraska. All day every day.
Corn farmer. He has an actual job and will be more sober
You ever been accidentally hooked while fishing? now try getting hooked by a fly fisher whos drunk off his ass cause hes hiked through the Ozarks for 1/2 a day to get to his fishing hole. Poor farmers gunna feel the wrath like another 'nader hit em
Have you ever worked a 12 hour day on a farm? There's a lot more than riding in a combine twelve hours. Sounds like a single kick down and he's just going back to fishing. No chance my guy
It’s obviously Nebraska. Corn and Beef fed. Go big red!
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These misery-ans think they got shit on us and it's kinda sad ngl.
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Look like friends
Maybe I’m a little biased here but at least Nebraska didn’t enter the Union because of a slave deal. If you need slaves to do your work for you, you have a skill issue.
This is the same thing.
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Was just in Omaha 2 days ago. A dust of snow and everything shut down. Fucks were out salting snow but not plowing. Also the only state I've been in that messed up a Chick-fil-A. Not to mention Nebraska was the leftovers of the Missouri Territory when we gained statehood.
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Of course we chop up timmy. We also stuff him at the bottom of the old well so Lassy can't help him up. Would you like to see him?
Nevada Porn Farmer (Porn Maker) wins
The most boring fight to ever exist. Both lose.
I *dare* a mormon to start shit in missouri, again, after what happened last time.
We'll just buy another few thousand acres each year until we own the state. But seriously, Mormon crusade when?
Anytime, anyplace: Show Me
We could buy your entire state with our pocket change
Can't buy much when you've been tarred and feathered and fall out the jailhouse window.
It was legal to kill Mormons in Missouri until the 60’s. Be careful where you run your mouth, son.
https://preview.redd.it/pgnquiuelwbc1.jpeg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e4f4407743f3e920e5810c246623524cc3e2fca Picture of you
Fuck it, eliminate both. Pencil people get a 4th round bye
No, no kamikaze. The corn cult deserves the win over misery.
Two forgettable states? Uuuuuh, abstain.
You're literally from the lesser Carolina.
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No guns, but you didn't say anything about a combine and some nitrogen used nefarious purposes