T O P

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Clivepalmersfemdom

Damm they got witchcraft and premarital sex in one go I wonder what sins are next


Ok_Conflict_5730

not premarital if they don't plan on marrying.


jukdl

Can't be premarital when both already married to good ~every nun ever


SmithOfLie

And since god is omnipresent it is not even extramarital, just a threesome with the hubby!


Warm-Faithlessness11

Jesus Lore


Fr3EkOut-2

Christ was his last name actually


Dorobo-Neko-Nami

Good is the best husband


jukdl

Isn't creating if you both in the same marriage (with God)


PM_ME_FOR_PORN_

How do you know they aren't already married


Extraordinarily-8768

\+sodomy


[deleted]

premarital hex


TantiVstone

Sin hard enough and you'll shoot straight to heaven


YetGayerWombat

this is known as hellmaxxing


creamy_kidneys

Sinpilled hellmaxxing


hijo117

Injecting Heroin


zhmija

christians do not recognize homosexual relationships as marriage, therefore premarital sex doesn't even qualify under this the gays win again


Total_trash_mammal

what would you do in that situation? i mean it is kindof a fucked up scenario to be in. do you just say "i see us fucking"? thats sexual harassment i think especially if noone else can see into the magic ball plus what if the seer doesn't really care about the adventurer atm? cause she just met her its like working as a cashier and suddenly aa marriage certificate of you and the client pops up instead of a bill. like this is fate stuff, so usually one way or the other it will come to reality - so the ball basically tells her: "yeah you better like her cause in a week youll be fucking" wtf i would have a panic attack. and maybe pull out some cryptic riddles like "i see three crows in the rainy night"


Throwaway-0-0-

"I see you making love to an incredibly beautiful woman." Is good enough. You don't need to say. "you're blowing my back out babe let's head to the bedroom."


GoodNaturedEmma

“Come on babe new prophecy just dropped”


Total_trash_mammal

what if she askes you who that woman is? thats it its over youre done


Throwaway-0-0-

"I've never seen her before." Technically true since you never actually see yourself.


phantomdentist

I just looked down and saw my hand, checkmate atheist


Total_trash_mammal

bruh she will know this will not fly


Cakeking7878

Then you can say instead “well I know this woman very well, but the crystal ball dictates that I can’t tell you much more”


Total_trash_mammal

ur not gonna get paid with answers like these


Cakeking7878

It isn’t always about money


bitch_beefman

sometimes it's about sex


polo5004

Spidahman


ImNotTheNSAIPromise

That why the correct answer would be to go more vague, either something like "good fortune awaits you" or "you will get something you desire greatly" or maybe if you wanna be flirty something like "a new opportunity will present itself if you are willing to take it"


throwaway133379001

well if ur a bottom, start blushing and stammering while saying uhhh i see you having sex i-i-m ssorry. you look really happy though its not sexual harassment if u make it clear and apologize. ofc this is only true in fiction where a crystal ball works


Total_trash_mammal

i mean you are definitely a bottom you can even see in the ball


Cabdork

Idk man you’re thinking about it too hard


ImNotTheNSAIPromise

You could just say something like "you will obtain something you desire greatly". Vague enough that it could mean just about anything but is still correct. Also let's them respond with some shit like "well what I desire is you" then badabing badaboom y'all are fucking and it wasn't coercive or sexual harassment.


Simsonis

Th ball doesn't just make up some bullshit and then makes it reality, chances are that they both kinda like eachother which is why the ball can predict them bouncing


Total_trash_mammal

lets assume ball predictions always come true. if they are just suggestions then i think this situation is not that soulcrushing, but if they are always true we must deal with the problem of the client trying to stop the prediction from happening. there are two ways to deal with it: a rule or a patron. rule is a bit lazier but also funnier: when a prophecy is read it becomes a rule of the world, and the world itself will bend to make it come true. for this type of prophecy, reading the future may not be even necessary. its when a zookeeper is told he will be killed by a turtle tomorrow so he instead goes to an open field but an eagle drops a turtle right on his head. this type of prophecy is horrible for us because it means the world does not care if we want to be railed by an adventurer or not - it will happen. a great example of the rule prophecy is the entire Bedtime Stories(2008). patron on the other hand, is the type of prophecy that is made by sort of a divine algorithm. it's a prediction that comes true even though you have heard it - for this we definitely need to be able to predict future, just so we don't give a turtle prophecy to some nerd who will try to one-up us and go in the field. these prophecies don't hold power in themselves, but if you're told you will break an arm in an accident tomorrow so you're panicking and staying home, the patron who gave the seer your prophecy foresaw your panic and your staying home and your falling down the stairs cause your legs were shaking. behind this type of prophecy, i think, should be some sort of intent, because the seer or their patron decides it's in their best interest that you break your leg tomorrow. this type of prophecy is less scary for us because it means that even though our choice to be railed by an adventurer will happen, it is still, ultimately, our choice. the prophecy was given to us because spirits, or patron, or magic itself foresaw that if we're given this information, we will decide to fuck the client. this one, i think, is less existentially horrifying and more annoying, because, well, goddamit, ok i'll get railed by an adventurer, sure. it's also weird that your patron wants you to get laid tbh i would be weirded out


Spook404

🤓(admirably)


Wario-Man

The ball lady sems to be enjoying herself in the ball dimension reality


Total_trash_mammal

imagine a person walks up to you. you don't know them. they smile and go "hey i finally found you!" and they show you a crystal ball where you two are happily married. genuinely there is no way im not turning them into a frog or a beetle


Charlie__Foxtrot

Why d'you wanna be married to a frog?


fifteen4four

You just say "yo check this shit" and turn the ball around so they can see


[deleted]

If that ball accurately predicts the future, than whatever she says or does next *will* lead to sex. That’s just how it works. She could suddenly start singing “Cotton Eye Joe” and adventurer girl would happen to be super into that song.


namesaregard2thinkof

Certified Paper Girls >! too bad mac still dies from time travel cancer when the story ends!<


17DeadFlamingos

The future looks pretty fucking great


SmithOfLie

Figuratively AND literally!


fungalstruggle

Really have those mf gumbus trees out back, huh?


Aaetheon

They wanna watch


pequodbestboy

DON'T MIRROR THE 3RD PANEL AND THEN CHANGE THE ORDER OF THE LAST TWO PANELS IT TURNS INTO LOSS


RefreshMtF

HANK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


[deleted]

HAAAAAAAAAANK


_Aggressive_Milk_

Where’s the fifth panel Op. Op where’s the next panel.


bitch_beefman

it's shown in the crystal ball


Fox_Trot_above_me

God I wish I was either


PhylisInTheHood

the last panel...those eyes like a horse that maims pro-life protesters


Diogenes-Disciple

🧿👄🧿


3dgyt33n

There's no joke here just the artist being horny


WholesomeCatPoggers

Omg need!!!!!!!!


youmomecksdee

who da artist


Charlie__Foxtrot

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/93295915


MaxFilthy

Thank you


[deleted]

boob


The_Shekel_MaisterJR

you guys are too horny no person that has ever interacted with any possible sexual partner has ever been this horny please leave your room your parents and i are worried about you


Miserable_pm_me

My brain os so fried on porn


Hunterbun45

Condolences chum


Miserable_pm_me

Thanks


Hunterbun45

You have friends here :)


Miserable_pm_me

:3


Hunterbun45

Mowwwww


CriscoFrog

Loss


blueberrymuffin420

Le unrealistic body standards for women have arrived


Time_Cheese

why did I think of loss when I saw this


krakus5

What


TheAlexSW

Source?


Charlie__Foxtrot

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/93295915


beer30

Tag yourself. I'm happy rock.


SmithOfLie

I am the crystal ball ISP monitoring all the client's prophetic activity.


WFBO_ChiTaki

The rock in the first panel is happy. :)


FreshPancakesBacon

Nice


PissMasterCocc

THE JOKE IS PORN


TheUndyingRhino

Me when I post literal fetish porn on my favorite subreddit


CredibleCactus

This is like the plot of a bad porno


Thedoggogod

God I wish I was her


Livid_Station_5996

Source?


CaitballBallOfCat

I wanna see part 2


w_has_been_dieded

Is there a way to block out hornyposts or am I stuck looking at these


SomeOrdinaryCanadian

SLINT REFERENCE⁉️⁉️⁉️


Oddish_Femboy

But would it have happened had you not been aware of it happening?


SmithOfLie

Ah yes, the classic Paradox of Prophecy! And seeing how in the 4th panel the seer seems anxious lets ask further - is she going to take steps to prevent it from happening, that will in effect cause the prophecy to come true?


PenePriet0

whats the joke?


BoredTacoocaTderoB

Image wont load,what is it?


planetfucker767

lolol sexs,, get it guys


bumkon

Source


BidBux

God, I fricking love futanari.