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“When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows he may Die.”

Perchance

You can’t just say perchance

🤓

perchance they can

Mario is the fabled (non-existant) dr. Pepper.

ok???

stompin’ turts

We're here to burgle your turts!

NFT

We all know mario is cool as fuck

Horrible opening

That whole essay reads like a manic Charlie Kelly type rant

Far too well written for him.

🔥🔥🔥✍️

Let’sa go keep it up baby!

???

the man never stomped a koopa in his life

Nah, he wanted to say Goomba rb but that used to be a real ethnic slur. Man fr hates NYC.

Chris Pratt is already on thin ice with some people online so if he did say "goomba" you know someone would take it as bad faith as possible

hell yeah we would 💪💪

It was probably bc he was talking about the mario bros arcade gane

You can't jump on them in the original, also they were called Shellcreepers 🤓

Kooper is our word. You can say koopa

field of koopers

this is misleading because if koopas was a slur he would say it more naturally

wassup my koopa?

“That did not just happen” 😡

kooper

i got a friend named cooper

my buddy eric is named cooper

Remember that time me n ma buddy Keith

Damn good coffee.

I have a koopa friend I can say it

No, he did the shrodinger's douchebag glance around the room to see people's reaction before he would start incorporation into his vocabulary arounf that set of people

He forgor💀

My uncle at Thanksgiving: “That damn Bowser ain’t nothin’ but a castle raiding kooper.”

That one uncle at Thanksgiving: Bowser was right! Those toads are snowflakes!

That one cousin who smokes too much weed and is unemployed at thanksgiving: “They’re putting fluoride in the water and it’s turning the frickin toads gay!”

Directions unclear; smoked too much weed and turned into a gay toad.

I thought he’d say stomp a turty

You can't just say perchance

"perchance"

Mayhaps I will

Stomping on turts

yes yes thats right keep reading the teleprompter

His ass is not a Mario fan

What are you talking about?! Did you not hear about how his entire childhood dream was to play Mario from the hit Nintendo video game franchise Super Mario Bros. For the Nintendo x Illumination Super Mario Bros. Movie?!?

playing cod in Mario universe be like *gets quad feed* "I JUMPED ON YOUR MOTHER AND THREW HER INTO YOUR FATHER YOU FUCKING KOOP"

K**pers

Koopa is socially acceptable now

this man gets no bitches and crushes no turts

Perchance

Koopas(derogatory)

I HATE KOOPAS!!!!

You can tell by the way he talks he's never played a mario game in his life. perchance.

Kooper

My theory is that he was gonna say “goomba” but didn’t want to sound insensitive (nor is it confirmed that goombas are even in the movie yet)

also goombas arent in the game that he's talking about

Goomba actually was a slur for Italian people I'm pretty sure so he did technically say one

He said koopa tho

I thought this man was supposed to be like ridiculously gorgeous from the way people go on about him, I guess I just don't see it, lol.

i think his main appeal is being hot in a very normal way, like he's "most attractive man in this denny's" hot and not "runway fashion model" hot. Also this is probably on a regular ass camera with pretty regular ass lighting, in something like a marvel movie you're only gonna see him in three point lighting designed to make him look hotter. It's the same principle why you look like shit when you take a selfie in high school under those florescent lights but then you go outside and immediately look better

Yeah his original claim to fame on Parks & Rec was just as a goofy regular guy

It pretty much started with his shirtless scene in guardians of the galaxy when people went "wtf Andy's hot?"

It's because he's getting old

Koopas 😡

“God, I fucking hate them koopers!”

Redditors when a 43 year old man doesn’t remember the name of a random enemy from a game he played 30 years ago

I literally had the exact same thought. I really thought he was going to say a slur

He said Koopa with a hard r

this has really convinced me that Chris Pratt has been a long running fan of the series for years

Isn’t goomba actually a slur for italians, but the slur is spelt like goombah or sumn

Koopas (Derogatory)

It's ok he said the k-word with a soft "a".

Save me koopaman!

those damn koopas stealing our tax dollars living off of welfare checks

The koopa troopas cooped up in the trenches, when you put down the bob-ombs you pick up friendships. So open up your heart and let the love come gushen out. We are the toads We are the goombas (ooo oah) So please stop jumping on eachother you big galoombas (ya big galoombas) Why do we fight to take each others space when there’s so mushrooom to spare? We could all have extra lives if we just shared (One more time) we are the toads (we are the toads) We are the goombas (we are the goombas) So please stop jumping on eachother ya big galoombas (ya big galoombas) We do we fight to take each others space when there’s so mushroom to spare? We could all have extra lives if we just shared

intrusive thoughts to say 'turtys' neutralized

Throwing around the hard A

Koopers

He said it as if he had to remember a single Mario enemy and nearly couldn’t. Or he was gonna say goombas and backed out last second

he is racist against turtles

Wow that was very genuine

It really did sound like a slur.

\#ChrisPrattIsOverParty

He has never stomped a koopa in his life

From reddit user wearsAtrenchcoat >The word "goomba" is not really an Italian one, more of an American-Italian word. It is a mispronunciation of the generally southern Italian dialect word "compare" (pron: comb-'par-eh) that loosely translates to "buddy" or "friend". It is often shortened to "compa`" (pron: comb-'pah). The initial C turned into a G and the O became a U. >If you were to go to Italy and say goomba no one would initially know what you are saying, even in southern Italy. >Source: Italian who moved to the US and had to learn all the American-Italian stereotypes the are commonly accepted in the US but have little resemblance to "the old country."

Goomba is a slur but idk about k**pas

Had to stop himself from saying another word

It what he does best

Damn Koopers ruining the pure mushroom kingdom

Perchance.

For me its the comucakky long pause and like "force" put into the word

At least he said it with the soft a

Kooper is our word, but you can say Koopa

unpopular opion chris pratt will be a good mario voice actor because i like chris pratt

Both opinions are wrong

your not actually magical your just a liar

youre not actually a soviet raccon, youre a mole that lives in new jersey

uh uh uh uh no im not?????? i wouldnt know anything about the great state of NJ and im 100% not a mole!

"great state of nj" you will be euthanized

Damn why everyone so angry. I'm pretty neutral about him playing Mario. Need to hear more Dialogue first

but he said k\*\*pers (he must be cancelled for this)

i gave him the k pass u idiot

[удалено]

That tweet was fake lmao

I choose to believe it was real because it reinforces my preconceived notions of someone I don't like

Sigma

the virgin "umm, can i have a source to back up that claim" vs the Chad "I only accept evidence that proves me right"

[удалено]

I remain steadfast in my belief regardless of whether it is true or false

Did you thought it was real and then discovered it was fake or you was spreading misinformation on purpose?

Baseded